Penname: Cinderella Angelina [Contact]
Real name:
Member Since: 08/02/05
Website:
Beta-reader:
Status: Member
Bio:
Hi, I'm CA. I used to be a college student studying (in a loose sense of the word) Genetics and Biotechnology with a minor in Music. Now I'm a part-time secretary with no delusions of grandeur whatsoever.

I am an avid reader. Sometimes I write. Other preferred activities include playing piano, dancing, singing, and generally loving life.

I'm a member of Hufflepuff House. One of those "we'll take the lot" cases more than hard work or loyalty, I'm afraid.

Before I started writing fanfiction seriously, I hated romance. I wouldn't even read it here. Then I discovered Other Pairings and I've unleashed a great power of fluff. I hope you enjoy my work. Feel free to drop me a review if you get the notion.

My favorites right now are "We Need All the Allies We Can Get" and "Catchphrase." "Gratification and Justification" has its moments. "Don't Get Caught" is my one featured story.
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Reviews by Cinderella Angelina
 

Clair De Lune by Astrid Skywalker
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 386]

Summary:

It was full moon when the Dark Lord sealed a part of his soul within a magical amulet, and then broke it in half. One half was left to the faithful werewolves to guard. The other half was tossed into the impenetrable depths of time where no one but him could get it. When the first half has been found, the Order of the Phoenix selects Hermione Granger to go back into the past to search for the missing piece. What is waiting for her is a brutal task that will test her beyond her limits, and an undying love that extends beyond the boundaries of time.


RL/HG, Post-HBP


No werewolves were harmed in the making of this story.


Winner of 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards - Best Non-Canon Romance

Update (9 May): Chapter 17, Burning, is up! Enjoy!



Categories: Hermione/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 52255 Chapters: 17 Completed: No
Published:
12/02/05 Updated: 03/23/08


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 12/31/05 Title: Chapter 1: The Amulet

Gracious, I don't know what to say . . . you amaze me. I can already sense the positive things about Lupin . . . maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself, but I'm really really loving it so far! I'm so happy I noticed there's another chapter up (don't say a word, please don't, it's the holidays) and so now I'm going to go read it and see if I subconsciously came and found this second installment in my sleep also--hmm. Well, let's just say that this first chapter is even better than it was the first time I read it, however long ago that was. I'll be quiet now. Have a nice day! *D*

Author's Response: *huggles CA* I missed you! And thanks so much for your thoughtful review. Yes, uhm, I'm trying to continue my other WIP *eyes Word doc apprehensively*. I'll get to it, I promise. :D

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 12/31/05 Title: Chapter 2: Foreshadowing

*gasp* Lei, I love it! If your number of reads goes up dramatically over the next few days it's because I have come back over and over to fall into this story. And it's just beginning! I hope the holidays have been good to you and you got some more written on this and your other projects that I've been (rather silently, I apologize) keeping a bit of an eye on. Have a nice day! *D*

Author's Response: Agh, I think I responded to the wrong review previously. O.O Must be because I'm up at 1 AM? Haha. Thanks, CA, you're the best! :D

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/23/06 Title: Chapter 5: Ode to the Beloved

Oh . . . I'd forgotten this was post-HBP. I didn't expect Tonks to be there. That scene there at the end had the quality of . . . I don't know how to explain it, how dare she? That's silly. But if that's what you were going for, then well done.

A chapter just for me! Oh, I'm so excited! [/squeeness]

My absolute favorite line is right after Remus asks when asking which Marauder she came with became standardized and James comes in and answers, "Since sixth year when both of you started dating the same girl." It made me wonder how that came about, but I just love how it shows their long-lasting friendship and stuff.

Hermione's confusion of feeling was well done here, I thought. She can't stop thinking of Harry (I always thought that you'd portrayed them as better friends than Ron and Hermione), and when she gets to hold him . . . sigh. It was all well done.

I almost wish I hadn't forgotten about Tonks. That is a complication I hadn't foreseen. When Remus was in his thoughts I was all ready and raring for Hermione to come back after they've done what's needed, but what would Tonks think? Grr.

Beautifully rendered chapter, Lei! (I've always wanted to call something 'beautifully rendered' and your stories seem to lend themselves to that description.) I'm especially happy that there were no cliff-hangers in this chapter, just a general desire for more story. Thanks again for dedicating this chapter to me. *blushes* Have a nice day! *D*



Author's Response: -hugs CA- I'm REALLY glad you liked it! This chapter has been, by far, the easiest one to write. I don't know why, it just was. And yes, I nearly forgot about Tonks too, but I needed to stay in tune with canon facts, so the last scene had to be done. I was cackling my evil cackle while writing it, too. ;)

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/09/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Amulet

I noticed Remus Lupin was in the "friend" category instead of mentor or parent-figure. I loved Hermione's farewell with her boys. It was a little bit of a tear-jerker, actually. Even though I knew this was the newest chapter (Please don't tell me how long it's been up) when it ended I moved my cursor down to the "next chapter" button. What evil cliffhangers you bestow, dear. I can't wait to find out what happens with young Jane Conway. Don't keep me in too much suspense.

Have a nice day! *D*



Author's Response:

I know, I'm evil... *cackle*

It's been up for two weeks. ;) But thanks SO much, CA. You rock.

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/09/06 Title: Chapter 3: Relegare In Praetor

No No No! I put spoilers in a review for the first chapter!! How could I!! I'm sorry, I was recalcitrant (I think that's the word I want). Whoops, please forgive me. I really am going insane.

Author's Response: Awww, you're a sweetheart, CA. I love ya. Thank you!! :)

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 07/30/06 Title: Chapter 10: Surrender

*cough*

You might expect a proper review later, but all I have to say is...

NOOOOOOOOOO!!

You are NOT allowed to end the chapter like this!

*sighs verrrry deeeeeply*

Everyone loves a good spam review everyonce in a while, right?

If you don't update soon, I'll . . . I'll . . . I'll make a spot-saving post in a challenge thread and then DELETE it!

Author's Response: *GASP* Oh no you won\'t! *goes back to writing feverishly*

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 03/04/06 Title: Chapter 6: Sunset

I love the humor. The Tower of Babylon, especially (even though I've never heard of it, unless it coincides with my knowledge of Babel) - just the sort of joke Sirius and Jane would appreciate.

Is the rating ever going to go to Professors? Or will you keep it at a relatively safe 6th-7th, Years level?

Ack, I don't even have anything to say about this chapter! Good action, characterization, and description, just like always! I loved it!

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Have a nice day! *D*



Author's Response: LOL! Thank you SO much, CA. Y'know I always love reading your reviews. :) No, I think I'll keep this to a 6th-7th year rating because frankly, I'm not one to write graphic sex. O.O There WILL be violence in this story, more violence than graphic romance, I think... Hmm, I don't know... Anyways, thank you again! Have some cake! *passes chocolate cake around*

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 12/05/05 Title: None

I like this story. I also wrote about Seamus and Lavender, so used a few of the same aspects (namely mentioning the Yule Ball) but I have no qualms about saying that I like your interpretation of what might've happened much better. You incorporated events of Book 6 very well, and I liked how you portrayed Lavender as being focused on her NEWTS. Well Done! Have a nice day! *D*

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/04/06 Title: None

It's about time I started reviewing this story. I'm really loving it. I think this chapter is my favorite because of the hat. As I was reading through this chapter (*cough* for the second time *cough*) I couldn't help but think that that hat looked familiar. Then for some reason I headed over to "The Calm Before the Storm" and read that again (one of these days I'll learn to review when I read, I promise, Hags) and that's why the hat was recognizable. It was nice to see Luna's thought process into it. And I also enjoyed the hints of Luna's relationship with her father. Well, I'm off to review the next chapter or two! Have a nice day! *D*

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/04/06 Title: None

Luna is perfect! Of course she would be a "dragon-speaker." I'm sure her father made her spend hours on end in the summertime, "you never know when you'll meet a real-life, fire-breathing dragon, Luna, now keep practicing." Okay, I'm rambling now. But I thought her natural inclinations (er, inclinations toward nature) were well described. And how the first thing she noticed about the dragon was the stench? Luna Lovegood, Quibbler Reporter, is frightened by nothing if it may present a good story. Excellent!

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/04/06 Title: None

I'm with deanine here. I'm interested to know how Luna was able to convince Charlie that she just wanted (as I giggle) an interview with the dragon. Ready for a new cliff-hanger? I think so. But I enjoyed this chapter all the same. First time I read it, I didn't understand the summary. Charlie's got ants in his pants? I get it now. I thought Charlie was quite nicely characterized, too, what with missing Quidditch and still admiring the dragon even as it's about to eat him. Have a nice day! *D*

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely reviews. I guess we'd better get cracking on that next chapter... ;) Poultry

 

Something Out of Nature by stardust
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 23]

Summary: Remus Lupin and Lily Evans run into each other in Diagon Alley and have a pleasant talk over a pleasant meal. Two friends discuss cabbages and kings to wear out a long lunch hour, and end up discovering things about each other’s lives that neither had had a chance to glean before. (Oneshot. This is my first fic, so reviews are very much appreciated!)

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 8012 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/02/06 Updated: 01/02/06


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 03/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: Summer, 1977.

I stumbled upon this story a couple days ago, and I’m glad I did (though by the end of the review, you might not be). It’s thoroughly believable and enjoyable to read. I loved getting in the heads of both Remus and Lily. I’m not sure yet, but I think this review’s going to revolve around something that you said in your story:

”Quality was all in the attention to detail”

Your clever word choice and apt descriptions made me feel as if I were present there in Diagon Alley on a hot, busy day. I especially love “swarm of spenders” in the first paragraph; “burning blast of malodorous exhaust” for the words, not because I like exhaust; “steadfastness and intelligence written in every aspect of his face” is a beautiful and appropriate description; oh goodness, if I tried to go through the whole story and find every word usage I loved, we’d be here all day. Just know that the little, seemingly meaningless words you slip in there contribute greatly to the overall effect of the story. One more example: when Remus is trying to get Lily’s mind off school and stuff, he says, “genially, irresistibly ...” That combination is unusual but very indicative of the tone of Remus’ voice and the closeness he has with Lily – he knows how to persuade her along.

I just realized that I’ll never be able to say everything I wanted to say in this measly little review. But I’ll try and disclose some of my thoughts on your story. May it teach you never to ask for a review again. *joke* Now that I’m finished with it, however, I will warn you that it’s about a page and a half in Word, so get ready for a long haul.

First of all, Remus. Lily’s thoughts provide insight into his character; how he’s warm and concerned, intelligent and steadfast. Also, some of Remus’ own thoughts convey his personality: how he worried about what Lily would think if she knew about his furry little problem, for example. But my favorite characterization you’ve done here is through what he says and does. When he Apparates just to irk Lily, his funny side, his Marauder-side, peeks through. And when he philosophizes about how the home front can check evil before it comes to fruition, it shows his ... well, you know what it shows.

Brief digression to that little spot where Lily wonders what her lot in life is going to be. This little interchange was very touching to me, because some of Lily’s doubts and fears resonate in my own life – what am I going to be? Where will be my field of battle? I loved Remus’ calm and absolutely true response.

I’m going to move on to the perfection that is Lily now. Some of Remus’ observations about her reflect how close they are. But they also reflect what a handle you’ve got on this girl. Her annoyance with James is well done – she rants about it, but she doesn’t hate him, and that shows. Remus could obviously also sense a bit of attraction toward the new Head Boy because he encouraged civility and all. I thought I might spend a paragraph discussing their friendship, but my comments seem to be interspersed throughout anyway. But I’m trying to talk about Lily. There’s this one line ... after she finds out James told Remus about Apparition, where she undergoes “an alarming transformation” – I loved that because I knew that Lily had a temper, and it was just so funny to see her totally go from merry to foreboding.

I just realized how long this review is getting, so I’m going to skip straight to the “werewolf” part. I thought that this was done quite admirably. Lily’s fear, and her determination to hide it but failure to cover it completely, were well shown. Also Remus’ dejection at realizing that the worst has indeed come to pass. But everything was explained away at the end and one could feel better knowing that everything was back to normal with them.

Well, almost. What a bittersweet closing line! My poor little heart didn’t know what to feel!

Okay, on to the not as fun stuff. Reviewer before me found a couple things that I agree with, especially the incomplete sentence. But I found one more that you might want to watch out for in future, if you think it too wasteful to change now. This paragraph: “I’d have thought you’d just get tired of it and stop,” said Lily, fanning herself, for the exhaust had upset her internal thermostat. That was his way, after all. It was a marvel to her that he could stand there so comfortably in a cloak, as though he had flipped a switch and could not feel the heat. Even in her weightless costume she felt hot There’s just something wrong about it. I think most of it lies in “That was his way, after all.” Because it doesn’t seem to fit with either the topic at hand – Remus’ peculiar illnesses – or the next subject, which is how he never seemed hot. Just a couple little discrepancies like that.

Goodness. I did not mean to leave such a long review – your fault, I suppose, for writing such a long story. I didn’t mean for it to be quite as glowing, either, but once I got started I couldn’t stop. Good job. I liked this story a lot. I liked the myriad missing moments like Lily’s birthday party that we can guess without having to be told straight out everything that happened. Agh, so much more I could say about this! I must stop, though, because I have a feeling you are sick of my blather. Have a nice day! *D*



Author's Response: Oh my word, when I signed on last night to see not one but TWO lengthy reviews... I honestly thought there'd been some mistake! Quite the contrary, CA, I'm more appreciative than I can say that you had so much to offer me!

I am *staggered* by your generosity and humbled by the praise. I can't possibly tell you how much it means to me that someone put a page-and-a-half's worth of Word's effort into reviewing this. Thank you doesn't cover it!

Let me just say that I'm overjoyed that you liked it, and deeply relieved to have feedback from a discerning reader who didn't think it all too vague or clumsy, as I feared. If I ever get around to re-writing this monster, I'll remember what you've suggested. That passage in particular was very slapdash and I've excised the incongruity for the time being. I first wrote the end, and then the very beginning, so that entire portion can be likened to hasty patch-up job!

I want to babble on more, (you see I can't EVER keep things concise!), so I'll just leave you with thanks. And I hope you have a nice day yourself, because you've certainly brightened mine! *G*

 

Fountain of Magical Brethren by bajab
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: The Ministry contracts an aged artist to create a new fountain. Comedy one shot set after HBP.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6750 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/12/06 Updated: 01/12/06


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter one

Good story. I'm amazed I didn't find it before. I like the way his models were found and how the stone moved around. Even though Artemis is a girl's name. I knew that he'd go for Hermione (I must assume it was her) instead of ole Madam Zabini. I think perhaps a little more backstory on the magic stone would have been appropriate, I have to admit it was a little confusing in places. But still . . . I enjoyed reading it. Thank you! Have a nice day!

Author's Response: Artemis is also the middle name of the author of fantastic beasts - Newt Artemis Fido Scamader - so I am not alone in believing it to be just as valid as a boy\'s name, but thanks for the review.

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/01/06 Title: None

Wow, creative beginning! I especially like the incidental magic you chose for Lily.

In fact, the only nitpick I have at this time is that you have "a strange tinkling" and I think it should be "tingling" instead.

I rather like the way you've characterized Petunia as a fussy old lady at only fifteen.

I can't believe you don't have any other reviews yet! I'm going to read your other chapters now.

Have a nice day! *D*

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/01/06 Title: None

So you've decided that Lily and Severus are rather neighbors? I'm sure that will do well to further your plot! :)

I think you did a good job of describing what the Snapes' married life might have been like, especially with those little scenes from the Pensieve in OotP. They'll have to come back, though, won't they?

I'm really liking this story so far--your characterization is quite good.

Have a nice day! *D*

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/01/06 Title: None

How long are you intending this story to be? Just curious . . .

Interesting about the Jobberknoll, I could see how that could be useful--and a little debilitating for young Severus, here. I like it a lot.

Overall this chapter was good; there were a lot of little nitpicky things, enough that I don't think I can remember them all. They didn't distract from the story, it's just, I notice things like that.

In case you care . . . "wet his appetite" should be "whet." Shoot, have I forgotten already? I remember a couple misplaced commas, I just don't know where! I guess you're safe from me for now! :)

I look forward to when Lily and Severus meet. These introductory chapters are nice but I'm ready for a little *romance.*

Have a nice day! *D*



Author's Response: Thanks so much for your input. I really appreciate it! Right now I am intending for this story to be pretty long. I have this theory about how Snape's relationship with Lily went and DD's reason for trusting Snape and this story si just to illustrate that. So it will span all 7 years at Hogwarts plus a bit of time beyond. I know how it will end, btu there are some details in the middle I am still working out. So it might be kind of strange, but it is the only way I can really express how I think things went. If you are a Snape fan, I am also working on www.trustsnape.com and this story is sort of the detailed fic behind why I think everyone should trust Snape. :) Also it will be a while before there is any real romance between the two of them. I mean, they're only 11 right now. Thanks again!

 

The Fifth Horcrux by king
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 307]

Summary: This story is a sequel to an earlier story of mine called: Harry Potter and the Needed One. You will need to read that one first for this one to make sense. Harry learns that Hermione loves him and admits that he loves her. Unfortunately Harry has a lot of powerful enemies and an awful job that he must do. Harry must become a killer or a victim and he doesn't want a girlfriend. Hermione learns a horrible truth about the Fifth Horcrux. She must help Harry in his quest to destroy Voldemort and at the same time keep Harry alive.

Categories: Harry/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 107853 Chapters: 26 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/01/06 Updated: 12/29/06


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - A Depressing Chore for Dumbledore

I've been wondering if you would write a sequel to this. I'm glad Chapter 2's in queue, because this chapter did not end properly. I mean, the ending was fine, just rather . . . unrevealing.

By the way, you might want to be careful. Mormons in Utah don't practice polygamy and, while I've never met someone who went to a magical school, we might be open to witchcraft. Goodness knows we have nothing against the HP books.



Author's Response: Hi Thanks for the review! I'm just joking about Utah, I've got friends that are Latter Day Saints and I don't want to offend anyone. I wouldn't seriously advocate an H/Hr/G polygamous relationship either. You mentioned that the ending of chapter 1 was "unrevealing". There's going to be more mystery than kissing in this "romance" fic. Expect some puzzles.

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - A Depressing Chore for Dumbledore

Sorry, just had to leave another review so you didn't get me wrong. I'm much more excited for the mystery than the romance in this story, just so you know. I knew I should've chosen a word like "cliff-hangerish." I was afraid you'd take that word wrong. Okay, that's all! Have a nice day!

Author's Response: Hi Cinderella! It's Okay! Your reviews have been one of the nicest parts of my day. I have this melodramatic tendency to end chapters on cliff-hangers.

 
Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 02/20/06 Title: Chapter 2: Hopelessly in Love

And . . . the second chapter!! I'm interested to see how the whole relationship thing is going to work out. The last sentence (I'm going to try and quote it but it may be a paraphrase): "She's going to get hurt, and I had to go and do the worst possible thing" or the like, doesn't quite make sense. Is she going to get hurt because he kissed her (I'm assuming that's the bad thing) or is she going to get hurt anyway and he just made it worse? Mmm. I still have no idea which you meant.

The poor gnomes. Harry would beat himself up over that. He really ought to tell Hermione, I think. Even if she was horrified, she'd have the right words to say.

So now I'm wondering . . . are you going to have a different story for every Horcrux up until the Final Battle, with Harry and Hermione's relationship progressing with every story? That would be interesting, if a little hard to work out. maybe even impossible . . .

Well, I'm off! Thanks again for writing believable stories like this, it's what converted me to H/Hr! Have a nice day!



Author's Response: Hi Cinderella! What Harry is thinking here: "She's going to get hurt, and I had to go and do the worst thing possible." Is that he isn't good for her. He's afraid to let a romance start with Hermione because he doesn't want to break her heart. He may get killed in his fight against Voldemort and he doesn't want Hermione grieving over him. She might be killed or maimed in a fight with the Death Eaters if she is too close to him. He doesn't want her (or Ron) to be involved in his fight, it's too dangerous. If he suceeds he'll become a killer and he doesn't want the girl he loves to be bound to a killer. In short, he can't have a romance with Hermione because he loves her. The Diary was destroyed in CoS. The Ring was destroyed by Dumbledore. The Locket was destroyed in my earlier fanfic HP and the needed one. He has the cup and the means to destroy it. That leaves only the 5th Horcrux and then the Snake and then Voldemort. Since the Snake is Voldemort's pet, the 5th Horcrux is really the last thing to take care of before hunting down Voldemort. The problem is Harry doesn't know what it is. This story is going to be very complicated.

 

A Light Hits The Gloom by Insecurity
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 27]

Summary: Exactly one year after Dumbledore's death, Snape is forced to return to Hogwarts. He expects to be in and out quickly, without any lamenting on times gone by or any interruptions. The castle is empty, having been closed down the previous summer, and he finds it very unnerving. But when he finds Hermione scurrying around his storeroom his plans change quite rapidly. This is my EXTREMELY long response to the SPEW Anniversary challenge. *Nudges readers* Please review!

Categories: Hermione/Snape Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6141 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/02/06 Updated: 02/02/06


Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina Signed
Date: 03/30/06 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

I absolutely needed to write a Hermione/Snape review this month, and I thought that it would be nice to review yours, seeing as I read it so long ago and I need to get into the habit of reviewing what I read. So, review your story I will!

Okay, I’m going to start out by warning you that I am refusing to be nitpicky throughout this review. There were a few typos and errors, but they didn’t detract too terribly from the story so I will ignore most of them. [/disclaimer]

You have such vivid descriptions in this story, and I especially love the continuing contrast between dark and light, moonlight and shadow, that sort of thing. I thought it was rather well executed and apt for a Snape-might-end-up-being-redeemed story. Other nice imagery includes the truth as a bloody murdered corpse. I never knew I had such a morbid fascination, but I thought that it was in character of Snape to think of this event in those sorts of terms.

Hermione’s “Okay” being as fragile as her trust was also a very nice image. I liked it very much; you have some real skill in making those sort of connections.

I know it’s all just to further the plot, but I couldn’t help but wonder just what the Darught of Living Death could be for. If you do ever write a sequel, I hope you think more on that, because it intrigues me. What would both Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix want with that particular potion? Just something for you to stew about for a while.

It was quite humorous that it took Snape that long to realize that he’d just Stupefied a human being. Was it just because he’d not been near “normal” people for so long? Or was it just funny. I also liked how he shined a bright light in her face to irritate her and she thought it was Ron. A nice bit of humor in the midst of all the other dark introspection.

I thought the way Hermione did finally trust Snape was perfect. I don’t know if I have much more to say about it because I would just be repeating what you already said and so you would know it, so yeah. Well done on that bit.

I couldn’t help but think it just a little bit out of character to go from hating Snape to trusting Snape to kissing Snape. I didn’t understand her train of thought (probably because neither did Severus). Not that I’m mad about the kiss, but I think it might have been okay just leaving it at the holding of the hand and maybe a tentative hug, although that would have led to a kiss (maybe, you never can tell with that Granger girl), so I guess it’s fine how you left it. It just struck me as a little odd, especially when she decided that she would be willing to pursue a relationship with him.

Okay, I can’t help it. I have to put in one nitpick. Agh, I can’t find it now!! But somewhere in there, before all the other talk of Pensieves, there is a pensieve that needs to become pensive. I think it’s talking about Hermione and it kills me that I can’t find it. Oh well. I hope you enjoy your very vague nitpick. *rolls eyes*

Your Snape is very good. I like how irritated he is by the disarray of his lovely potions closet, and how he refuses to become immersed in nostalgia because it’s not the kind of person he would be, is it? His discussion about his innocence and how futile it would be strikes me as the sort of thing he would think about the whole idea. I could keep talking about every little thing, but suffice it to say that I like the way you wrote Snape. I expect you’ve had a bit of practice by now.

Overall good story. If Hermione and Snape had to meet at Hogwarts under those circumstances, it is only fitting that it is in a Potions closet. And if anyone can prove Snape’s innocence, with a little motivation, it would be Hermione – she has great ideas about how it happens (and I suppose you do, too, seeing as you wrote it and all). I feel as if I am rambling and so perhaps I ought to stop before I either praise or criticize every single sentence in your story. Have a nice day! *D*



Author's Response: Oooooh! *huggles CA* Thank you! This is one very lovely, well thought out review. I'm glad you liked all the strange imagery I threw in there and the humour, lol. The potion was very random - I didn't look too deeply into the reasons why they'd need it. I just thought it would be a potion taht both sides would want for one reason or another. I should have stopped to think about that reason, and maybe that is a lesson for the future.

The moving from hating (well, not hating, just not trusting or particularly liking) to kissing comes from my influence from Ashwinder. That site contains stories where much more goes on in the space of a shorter amount of words. Although, my biggest criticism of SH is that it doesn't look enough into characterisation so maybe I shouldn't have let some of the more smutty one-shots influence my opinion of the ship. When you've read as many as I have, you end up taking the ship for granted, which is a bad thing.

Your review is lovely. No need for a disclaimer at all. The Penseive thing has been driving me mad - Word has it as pensive and keeps changing it back whenever I'm not looking. I think I've finally added the proper word to my dictionary now. Thanks for pointing it out.
Laura xxx

 
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