*cough*

You might expect a proper review later, but all I have to say is...

NOOOOOOOOOO!!

You are NOT allowed to end the chapter like this!

*sighs verrrry deeeeeply*

Everyone loves a good spam review everyonce in a while, right?

If you don't update soon, I'll . . . I'll . . . I'll make a spot-saving post in a challenge thread and then DELETE it!

Author's Response: *GASP* Oh no you won\'t! *goes back to writing feverishly*

I like this story. I also wrote about Seamus and Lavender, so used a few of the same aspects (namely mentioning the Yule Ball) but I have no qualms about saying that I like your interpretation of what might've happened much better. You incorporated events of Book 6 very well, and I liked how you portrayed Lavender as being focused on her NEWTS. Well Done! Have a nice day! *D*

Luna is perfect! Of course she would be a "dragon-speaker." I'm sure her father made her spend hours on end in the summertime, "you never know when you'll meet a real-life, fire-breathing dragon, Luna, now keep practicing." Okay, I'm rambling now. But I thought her natural inclinations (er, inclinations toward nature) were well described. And how the first thing she noticed about the dragon was the stench? Luna Lovegood, Quibbler Reporter, is frightened by nothing if it may present a good story. Excellent!

I stumbled upon this story a couple days ago, and I’m glad I did (though by the end of the review, you might not be). It’s thoroughly believable and enjoyable to read. I loved getting in the heads of both Remus and Lily. I’m not sure yet, but I think this review’s going to revolve around something that you said in your story:

”Quality was all in the attention to detail”

Your clever word choice and apt descriptions made me feel as if I were present there in Diagon Alley on a hot, busy day. I especially love “swarm of spenders” in the first paragraph; “burning blast of malodorous exhaust” for the words, not because I like exhaust; “steadfastness and intelligence written in every aspect of his face” is a beautiful and appropriate description; oh goodness, if I tried to go through the whole story and find every word usage I loved, we’d be here all day. Just know that the little, seemingly meaningless words you slip in there contribute greatly to the overall effect of the story. One more example: when Remus is trying to get Lily’s mind off school and stuff, he says, “genially, irresistibly ...” That combination is unusual but very indicative of the tone of Remus’ voice and the closeness he has with Lily – he knows how to persuade her along.

I just realized that I’ll never be able to say everything I wanted to say in this measly little review. But I’ll try and disclose some of my thoughts on your story. May it teach you never to ask for a review again. *joke* Now that I’m finished with it, however, I will warn you that it’s about a page and a half in Word, so get ready for a long haul.

First of all, Remus. Lily’s thoughts provide insight into his character; how he’s warm and concerned, intelligent and steadfast. Also, some of Remus’ own thoughts convey his personality: how he worried about what Lily would think if she knew about his furry little problem, for example. But my favorite characterization you’ve done here is through what he says and does. When he Apparates just to irk Lily, his funny side, his Marauder-side, peeks through. And when he philosophizes about how the home front can check evil before it comes to fruition, it shows his ... well, you know what it shows.

Brief digression to that little spot where Lily wonders what her lot in life is going to be. This little interchange was very touching to me, because some of Lily’s doubts and fears resonate in my own life – what am I going to be? Where will be my field of battle? I loved Remus’ calm and absolutely true response.

I’m going to move on to the perfection that is Lily now. Some of Remus’ observations about her reflect how close they are. But they also reflect what a handle you’ve got on this girl. Her annoyance with James is well done – she rants about it, but she doesn’t hate him, and that shows. Remus could obviously also sense a bit of attraction toward the new Head Boy because he encouraged civility and all. I thought I might spend a paragraph discussing their friendship, but my comments seem to be interspersed throughout anyway. But I’m trying to talk about Lily. There’s this one line ... after she finds out James told Remus about Apparition, where she undergoes “an alarming transformation” – I loved that because I knew that Lily had a temper, and it was just so funny to see her totally go from merry to foreboding.

I just realized how long this review is getting, so I’m going to skip straight to the “werewolf” part. I thought that this was done quite admirably. Lily’s fear, and her determination to hide it but failure to cover it completely, were well shown. Also Remus’ dejection at realizing that the worst has indeed come to pass. But everything was explained away at the end and one could feel better knowing that everything was back to normal with them.

Well, almost. What a bittersweet closing line! My poor little heart didn’t know what to feel!

Okay, on to the not as fun stuff. Reviewer before me found a couple things that I agree with, especially the incomplete sentence. But I found one more that you might want to watch out for in future, if you think it too wasteful to change now. This paragraph: “I’d have thought you’d just get tired of it and stop,” said Lily, fanning herself, for the exhaust had upset her internal thermostat. That was his way, after all. It was a marvel to her that he could stand there so comfortably in a cloak, as though he had flipped a switch and could not feel the heat. Even in her weightless costume she felt hot There’s just something wrong about it. I think most of it lies in “That was his way, after all.” Because it doesn’t seem to fit with either the topic at hand – Remus’ peculiar illnesses – or the next subject, which is how he never seemed hot. Just a couple little discrepancies like that.

Goodness. I did not mean to leave such a long review – your fault, I suppose, for writing such a long story. I didn’t mean for it to be quite as glowing, either, but once I got started I couldn’t stop. Good job. I liked this story a lot. I liked the myriad missing moments like Lily’s birthday party that we can guess without having to be told straight out everything that happened. Agh, so much more I could say about this! I must stop, though, because I have a feeling you are sick of my blather. Have a nice day! *D*

Wow, creative beginning! I especially like the incidental magic you chose for Lily.

In fact, the only nitpick I have at this time is that you have "a strange tinkling" and I think it should be "tingling" instead.

I rather like the way you've characterized Petunia as a fussy old lady at only fifteen.

I can't believe you don't have any other reviews yet! I'm going to read your other chapters now.

Have a nice day! *D*

How long are you intending this story to be? Just curious . . .

Interesting about the Jobberknoll, I could see how that could be useful--and a little debilitating for young Severus, here. I like it a lot.

Overall this chapter was good; there were a lot of little nitpicky things, enough that I don't think I can remember them all. They didn't distract from the story, it's just, I notice things like that.

In case you care . . . "wet his appetite" should be "whet." Shoot, have I forgotten already? I remember a couple misplaced commas, I just don't know where! I guess you're safe from me for now! :)

I look forward to when Lily and Severus meet. These introductory chapters are nice but I'm ready for a little *romance.*

Have a nice day! *D*

Sorry, just had to leave another review so you didn't get me wrong. I'm much more excited for the mystery than the romance in this story, just so you know. I knew I should've chosen a word like "cliff-hangerish." I was afraid you'd take that word wrong. Okay, that's all! Have a nice day!

Author's Response: Hi Cinderella! It's Okay! Your reviews have been one of the nicest parts of my day. I have this melodramatic tendency to end chapters on cliff-hangers.

I absolutely needed to write a Hermione/Snape review this month, and I thought that it would be nice to review yours, seeing as I read it so long ago and I need to get into the habit of reviewing what I read. So, review your story I will!

Okay, I’m going to start out by warning you that I am refusing to be nitpicky throughout this review. There were a few typos and errors, but they didn’t detract too terribly from the story so I will ignore most of them. [/disclaimer]

You have such vivid descriptions in this story, and I especially love the continuing contrast between dark and light, moonlight and shadow, that sort of thing. I thought it was rather well executed and apt for a Snape-might-end-up-being-redeemed story. Other nice imagery includes the truth as a bloody murdered corpse. I never knew I had such a morbid fascination, but I thought that it was in character of Snape to think of this event in those sorts of terms.

Hermione’s “Okay” being as fragile as her trust was also a very nice image. I liked it very much; you have some real skill in making those sort of connections.

I know it’s all just to further the plot, but I couldn’t help but wonder just what the Darught of Living Death could be for. If you do ever write a sequel, I hope you think more on that, because it intrigues me. What would both Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix want with that particular potion? Just something for you to stew about for a while.

It was quite humorous that it took Snape that long to realize that he’d just Stupefied a human being. Was it just because he’d not been near “normal” people for so long? Or was it just funny. I also liked how he shined a bright light in her face to irritate her and she thought it was Ron. A nice bit of humor in the midst of all the other dark introspection.

I thought the way Hermione did finally trust Snape was perfect. I don’t know if I have much more to say about it because I would just be repeating what you already said and so you would know it, so yeah. Well done on that bit.

I couldn’t help but think it just a little bit out of character to go from hating Snape to trusting Snape to kissing Snape. I didn’t understand her train of thought (probably because neither did Severus). Not that I’m mad about the kiss, but I think it might have been okay just leaving it at the holding of the hand and maybe a tentative hug, although that would have led to a kiss (maybe, you never can tell with that Granger girl), so I guess it’s fine how you left it. It just struck me as a little odd, especially when she decided that she would be willing to pursue a relationship with him.

Okay, I can’t help it. I have to put in one nitpick. Agh, I can’t find it now!! But somewhere in there, before all the other talk of Pensieves, there is a pensieve that needs to become pensive. I think it’s talking about Hermione and it kills me that I can’t find it. Oh well. I hope you enjoy your very vague nitpick. *rolls eyes*

Your Snape is very good. I like how irritated he is by the disarray of his lovely potions closet, and how he refuses to become immersed in nostalgia because it’s not the kind of person he would be, is it? His discussion about his innocence and how futile it would be strikes me as the sort of thing he would think about the whole idea. I could keep talking about every little thing, but suffice it to say that I like the way you wrote Snape. I expect you’ve had a bit of practice by now.

Overall good story. If Hermione and Snape had to meet at Hogwarts under those circumstances, it is only fitting that it is in a Potions closet. And if anyone can prove Snape’s innocence, with a little motivation, it would be Hermione – she has great ideas about how it happens (and I suppose you do, too, seeing as you wrote it and all). I feel as if I am rambling and so perhaps I ought to stop before I either praise or criticize every single sentence in your story. Have a nice day! *D*

I was afraid of this. I knew you'd be able to write a beautiful Hermione/Viktor story and I would feel ashamed for even trying. I really like the way you set it up, how he noticed her for the first time in comparison to all the fangirls. And how he keeps butchering her name? Lovely!

Okay, I can't be scared of reviewing Seren. Even though it's tantamount to approaching God here at MNFF . . .

I am sorry I keep pestering you with reviews. In retrospect, perhaps I should have just reviewed once with every acclamation I felt for this story and left it at that. But it might be awkward to have a review gushing about how you portrayed Viktor's disgust with his Headmaster just perfectly and with lovely humor! Taking the Giant Squid to the Yule Ball? Classic! Many other lines in here I have loved (I keep writing in Krum-speak), and one question.

When Hermione is prattling on about how to prepare for the ball, Viktor's eyes rise to perilous heights. I've been having a hard time imagining that. Are they so high as to roll back into his head? Or did you mean his eyebrows?

I would feel bad if I didn't go ahead and review your last chapter at this point, so you will have to deal with my gushingness for one more review.