My username on the MNFF Beta Boards is Aurora. I recently published my first FanFiction. I have beta-ed for a couple of years, but have never actually wrote a FanFiction. I hope you like it. ^_^
Good job! You wrote this very well. You drove the reader farther and farther into this alternate reality, very clever. You did that very well. Yet, in chapter eight, you tended to ramble a little in the ending of the chapter. Very, funny though. Please update! I can't wait to find out what happens next. Good job!
You did an excellent job with this fan fiction. You used a large range of vocabulary to capture the reader into the world that you enlarged. You wrote the book superbly. You written the book chapter by chapter showing the progress within the reader's evil sucess and the logic behind. You captured the reader by humor and irony. Then you finished the sucess, by an all around "About an author." Again, good job. I have told many people about this and your numerous other stories.
Author's Response: I love incredibly specific reviews like this one.
I did take extra care when writing this fic - some of my other ones were just stream-of-consciousness ramlbing, which is good to read when you need something light and fun. I wanted to make it sound like a real self-help book, without getting too dull. And, it's really good to see people appreciate irony. And, for anyone reading this review who happens to be following Target Practice, the next chapter (the final chapter before the epilogue) will be quite ironic. Thanks for your review, and for recommending me to others!
I would give this a 12, if I could! I love your whole entire story! You use great transitions! You should become pro! I like your use of vocabulary, humor, and dialogue to increase your story in rating and how well it is! Good job- can't wait to more!
Author's Response: LOL wow a pro? No, that's not what I plan to do :) This helps me with class and writing. Plus I just love J/L. Thanks for your praise. I hope I can prove to you later on that it's all well-deserved :) -MM