Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
I laughed long and hard at this! OOC ordinarily drives me crazy but this was absolutely hysterical! Loved it! The repeated Josh Groban references make me laugh every single time!
Summary: Second Place in The One-Shot Challenge – Muggle Artifacts for Hufflepuff House.
The Marauders stumble across a mysterious Muggle object.
Oh my gosh, this was hilarious! Only Dumbledore and the Marauders... "magic drawing box"...
When Snape catches her in a compromising position and revokes Hogsmeade privileges, Tonks sees red. She plans payback and discovers that while revenge is supposedly a dish best served cold, it tastes even better hot.
*Not the usual 'Don't Stand so Close to Me' variety romance.*
Well. I was both disgusted by this and enjoyed it at the same time. ;) I will freely admit that, upon reading that it was a Snape/Tonks story, I laughed and laughed, because I had no idea how anyone could possibly pull it off, and then I clicked the link, because I knew I *had* to read it, even though I'm very, very squicky about Snanyone.
But I liked it! Though I did have that general "it's Snape, eww" feeling at the beginning of the story, it became easier to see him as an actual person and not as that horrible, greasy professor as the story goes on. Also, I'm stunned and impressed that you were able to keep them both in character, as you would think that, in trying to put Snape and Tonks together in a story, all characterization would go out the window. I also like that it started as a prank instead of some sort of long-time schoolgirl crush, because the former is far more Tonks-ish than the latter. But I definitely believed it all, and I give you serious props for that - normally I'd be rolling my eyes throughout, but I actually ended up sucked into the story and quite liking it. Excellent job! :)
Author's Response: How did I miss this awesome review! It was definitely a challenge to write, and like you I couldn't see her liking him unless she saw him as a person, not a everything-you-do-is-wrong professor, and a prank was the only way to go. Thank you so much!
Summary: In this sequel to ‘Glories of the Enternet’, my other fiction about Ron finding a box that can allow you to access the internet, finding a website that we ALL know quite a bit about, he discovers things that make him tick.
He has finally started to read our best fan fiction. Venture into this story as he finally finds out what Voldemort does when he’s not terrorising Harry, how Harry came to be, and a relationship tragedy that may drastically change his mind about marrying Hermione.
Make sure that you make your text larger if you’ve been reading for too long.
Ahh, a sequel! This is hysterical! Oh my goodness, I love these! Pretty please write another one! I just adore the fact that he discovered the Dark Lord's blog, which is another one of my favourite humour fics. Thank you so much for 1254 more words of genius!
Summary: "Very few people believe in second chances, Mr. Potter. The simple truth is that there isn’t a single member of the Order who would care if I died, nor is there a single Death Eater who would care if I died. My family is already gone. I have nothing left to fight for.”
“I would care if you died,” he told her.
Well, what are the words I want here. Unexpected? No... The weirdest pair I have ever seen? Maybe. But I liked it. Oddly enough, I really, really liked it! Normally, I stick to the canon pairs, and occasionally non-canon pairs of characters in, you know, the same generation, but this is the first "rare-pair" that I've read, and I liked this a lot. In fact, I I loved this! I wish I was brave enough and/or a good enough writer to write a believable rare-pair like this, because I liked reading this one a lot!
Kudos to you, because that could have just as easily gone very badly, but I really enjoyed this!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I love writing strange pairings. I think it makes things a little more interesting.
Summary: Anyone heard those rumours about a Harry Potter musical?
It better be just like this.
No, but seriously, it's a spoof of the songs from Disney channel's infamous "High School Musical," telling the tale of JK Rowling's infamous "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." (I was dared; I took the challenge.)
You will never see the Basilisk the same way again.
P.S. You may also want to check out my Beatles and Phantom of the Opera spoofs. Just click on my username and it'll take you to my delightfully chaotic author's page.
Twice nominated for Best Poem in the Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Oh. My. God.
Excuse me while I try to get control of my airways, having laughed the entire time I was reading this. If there's musical parody perfection, this is probably it. FANTABULOUS!
Summary: The first time it happens, he is fourteen. Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Peter thinks of murder. (What's wrong with him?)
[Peter Pettigrew, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and the logic of fives. Dark, some disturbing imagery. One shot.]
I can't think of a word to describe how I felt having read this - if you could combine disturbed with awe-struck, that would be it. I had shivers run down my back multiple times. This fic was almost scarily clever. Aside from the fact that it was wonderfully written, the whole concept was nothing short of genius. I can honestly say I never thought of Peter having OCD, and yet it all fits so well - especially the obsession with fives. I mean, holy Hogwarts, this was a little freaky. I'm not sure how coherent I'm being, but I'm still a little blinded from the awesomeness. ;) Well done!!!
Summary: From the ancient and noble house of Black to the obscurity of being Muggleborn, seventh year just promised to be another school year, although their last. Andromeda is testing her boundaries and the limits placed upon her. She's rebelling a bit from the ideals that she was brought up with. Ted is just living in the moment, still trying to decide what he wants to be. Fighting with habitual messiness and lack of organization, the cheerful, happy-go-lucky Hufflepuff soon finds himself in the midst of something he hadn't expected. Two unlikely characters, a spark of life, and the awkwardness of repeated encounters leads to more than they expected out of their seventh year.
I'm sorry for the long wait for the next chapter. It's finally finished. I graduated high school in 2010 and then entered college. It was quite a stressful time and quite the transition. I also lost the chapter once when my computer crashed. I had struggled with it for so long (writer's block) and when it was almost done, there it went into technological oblivion. I was so frustrated, I couldn't bring myself to try rewriting it until recently.
Ah, fluff fluff fluff fluff. I can't help myself, I just love it. This story is exactly how I imagined them to be. Both are characterized brilliantly throughout the whole story, and I just loved it. It was amazingly written... practically perfect in every way. (Can you name the source of *that* line?)
Oh, and that last line Ted says is from Rhett from Gone With The Wind.
Thank you so much for one of my favourite fanfics ever! :D
Author's Response: I'm so glad you loved it! I actually really love these two so much. I feel like I would have gotten along with them perfectly if I had known them. That line is from Mary Poppins. :) Thank you so much for the review and reading the story and loving it so much!
Summary: It’s Lucius and Narcissa’s first Christmas as a married couple, and Lucius learns of his wife’s strange obsession: decorating on Christmas Eve without magic. Attempted deception, an ultimatum, a fall, a fire, and a kiss later, Lucius can hardly deny that he’s enjoyed the experience.
Oh, cute cute cute! I just loved this whole thing! I adored the fact that you made Lucius and Narcissa look so sweet, giving us all a nice look at two characters whose emotions you rarely see. Bravo!
Summary: The battle is fought, the war is won--but no victory ever comes cheap. Join Alice, Andromeda, Ginny, Narcissa, Luna, Molly, and Hermione as they discover the cost of war.
EDIT: I'm back! And I am SO SORRY I was gone so long. There is absolutely no excuse for making you wait almost three years for an update. *hides from angry reviewers* The next chapter is in the queue!
Oh, this is awesome awesome awesome! I can't wait for another update! Everyone in every chapter I've read has been characterized perfectly, and the whole thing is just amazing! I'm super excited to read Narcissa's, its really interesting to hear what people think about certain people's endings, and Narcissa is one of my favourite characters. Great story!
Author's Response: Well, I'm over a year late, but thank you for the review! Narcissa's chapter is in the queue. I hope it lives up to your expectations!
Summary: Andromeda Tonks thought she had finally got her favourite cousin back.
So when he is taken from her once again by the person she least expects, it is enough to break her.
Wow, that was just amazing. Really amazing. It was incredibly well-written, and I especially enjoyed it since Andromeda was one of those characters where I didn't hear much about them but they just stuck with me. It was definitely touching, I loved the characterization of Andromeda, it was very well done, and thought it was cool that your view of Andromeda's personality was practically identical to mine. I loved this!
Summary: Andromeda Black is preparing to marry the man her family had picked out for her from the beginning. She's twenty-eight now, her life everything she thought it never would be. By some unspoken miracle, Dumbledore offers her the chance of a lifetime; a chance to try fixing what went wrong so many years ago. Given a mysterious satchel of seemingly random objects, Andromeda is sent back in time to that time and place. Can she figure out how to fix that old issue and still do the few things Dumbledore asks her to do?
Gauntlet Submission by your's truly, Kritchen of Hufflepuff. :]
Oh, I loved this! Trust Dumbledore to make things as complicated as they could possibly be! I love the way you put Teddy Lupin, Lily and James in the story as well. When the part with Andromeda talking to Teddy came up, I just about cried, in one of those "she has no idea what happened" sort of times. Your characterization of Narcissa was really funny as well! Fantastic!
Summary: Torture, heartbreak, love: A terrifying experience teaches Lupin and Tonks the true power of their love for one another.
Wow... I don't even know what to say after that! It was amazing, the beginning parts with the Death Eaters kind of made me nauseous, but it worked really well! All the characterizations were just perfect, especially, oddly enough, Mrs. Weasley, who I loved seeing actually do something for a change! I love this!
Author's Response: Thanks! It's been a while since I wrote that, but the newest movie kind of triggered those feelings in me again. I love writing about Lupin and Tonks; you might check out my other stories about them on Mugglenet--The Return, Nightmare of the Wolf, The Dream Game and The Sacrifice. I'd like to hear what you think.
Summary: “But I want to go home,” whispered the girl. “I don’t want to fight anymore”
Not everyone who fought in the Battle of Hogwarts wanted to be there, and not everyone survived. This is the story of one of those people.
Wow... just wow... that was really, really good. You have a real way with words, and... oh my goodness that was just chilling. Amazing story!
Summary: On their first reconnaissance mission together Remus and Tonks escape from the Death Eaters thanks to her remarkable quick-thinking. Decamping to a Muggle pub Remus discovers she’s not as confident as he’d assumed. He’s always felt like the outsider – but perhaps he’s not alone?
The song featured in this one shot is Let's Dance by David Bowie.
I'm not JK Rowling - don't say you're surprised.
That was so cool! The beginning pulled me in, and it had me locked in until the end! The whole thing about Metamorphmagi being a threat to the statue of secrecy never actually occurred to me until now, and now that I think about it, that would be a real problem! I really love that song as well, it was like a little tiny firework seeing those lyrics! I really liked the fact that Tonks didn't have to cry repeatedly to get Remus. This fic was an absolute delight!
Author's Response: Oh, I dislike weeping and wailing Tonks. She was an Auror for Merlin's sake and didn;t spend all her time crying - LOL. I know she was depressed in HBP, but she was also determined. Thank you very much for the review. I have a chaptered fic up concerning this pair (Apparently Asleep) - you might like that. Thanks again ~Carole~
Summary: As Tonks stands in the living room of her mother's house and watches Remus walk out the door to go to Hogwarts for the big battle, she must decide to stay with her son, or follow her husband.
This is the story of that heart-wrenching decision.
I do not own anything you recongise in this story. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am just thankful to be allowed to play in her world for a little while.
Why oh why do you insist on making me cry? Oh my goodness, that was just so beautifully, heart-wrenchingly perfect, one of the best Tonks fics I have ever read, (and believe me, I've read a lot of them). Just stunning.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I will admit, I still can't read this one-shot myself without crying. If you are in the mood for another cry fic, my other one, A Mother Remembers is Molly's story as she prepares to bury Fred. Thanks again.
Summary: Breathing. It’s easy, isn’t it?
In. Out. In. Out.
But what if it’s not easy? What if your body struggles for breath? What happens if you cannot get enough oxygen into your lungs? What happens if your lungs contract so tightly that you’re forced to use all your strength simply to breathe?
And how on earth do a wizarding family cope with a Muggle condition that could kill?
This is Lily Luna Potter's story of living with asthma.
I am Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry for the Written World Challenge, Spring Term 2009. It has been written to garner support for Asthma UK.
I do not own any of these characters - they all belong to JK Rowling.
FACT: Asthma can kill.
This was very, very good. Completely unique, and I also got an interesting perspective on Dudley and Aunt Petunia. I would love it if you wrote the rest of it, please do!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I will try and finish this ... some day. I'm currently writing a story about Lily when she's much older, and it's possible that this could link into it. Thanks again, it's much appreciated. ~Carole~
Summary: This story is for the Written Word Challenge (Spring Term 2009).
Rose can purge her feelings. Cho can eat until she can't feel. Andromeda can starve herself until she feels nothing at all. These three girls have one thing in common. An eating disorder.
Well, first off, I salute you for writing on this topic, it must have been difficult, but there really is nobody better to hear a story on topic like this from than somebody who truly understands it, somebody who has lived it. It must have taken courage to post something like this that comes from so close to home, and I commend you for it.
Okay, on to the story. I honestly can't wait to read more! I'm very curious about Cho, and I'm also interested to find out what's going on in Andromeda's head. I see you haven't updated this particular story in a while, but I would really love to read more!
Summary: Andromeda slides between the lines of war.
I liked this a lot! It felt very real and very believable, definitely lacking the unrealistic melodrama that many other D/A fics end up with. A few particular lines stuck with me, mainly this one.
"She stands on wet grass, shoes slipping, sinking, sticking in the mud, surrounded by hard grey tombstones that graze her hands when she tries to touch them, and all the ashes buried beneath her."
That line there just gave me chills. This was amazing!
Summary: Natasha Osborne- better known as Tash- is a perfectly normal girl living in Australia. She's got all the problems that a normal teenage girl has: quarrels, boys, studies, and the list can go on and on. But when her father is transferred to England, she has to attend Hogwarts. When Tash meets the Boy-Who-Lived, her perfect world turns upside-down.
Natasha Osborne learns the secret her family have been hiding since she was a year old.
She learns her whole identity was a lie.
Follow Tash through her seventh, but first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Warnings for violence and self injury are strictly for later chapters.
Ooh this sounds cool! I want to know about the danger, tell me tell me tell me!
This is really good, your characters are cool and the level of description is phenomenal. I'm super excited for when they get to Hogwarts!
Please keep writing and posting, I know it's been a year but I'm really curious now!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! And I'm sorry for not updating, its just that I was so busy with my exams and then I had a writers block and so much to edit that I completely gave up on this. Now that exams are over, I finally got my hand on this thing, and I assure you I'm gonna update soon - probably within this month! Thanks again for reading! --Nadia