Very interesting idea for a story. Well written as well. If Dudley is a wizard I would laugh. Just one canon note though, This all seems to happen before Shell Cottage. So if Dean was involved these adventures, it seems to me he would have mentioned them to Harry at Bill and Fleur's. Just a small detail. Great story otherwise. Hope for an update soon.
Author's Response: Thanks! And you're right, this is before Shell Cottage. But don't worry, there will be an explanation for why Dean doesn't tell Harry! ;)
Great story. A very good idea and it just fits so well with canon. You are a gifted author and this reading this has pushed me to look at the rest of your stuff. Nicely done!
In my mind this story is perfect. Nothing could be improved upon at all. It is like it could have been lifted right out of the DH. Your characterizations capture Ron and Hermione perfectly. I don't think JKR could have written this better.
Every time I think of the HP universe, this story is firmly embedded in my mind as though it were part of the original canon. Bravo and keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks. I actually can think of some improvements I would make, but for now, it is what it is. I'm so glad you liked it, and that you think the characterization is good. I loved writing this story and still miss working on it from time to time. Thanks for the review--I really appreciate it!
I like the new chapter. It was worth the wait (even thought its been a few months, its nice to know A&S hasn't been relegated to the pile of stories destined to never be finished). I was wondering what Cho and Harry were doing behind Ginny's back this whole time, and the necklace is a nice touch.
I have always been a fan of the way you write Harry and Ginny. It is a very believable relationship to me. Sometimes after reading canon I think that Harry and Hermione would have been a better match with all they have been through (I still find some fanfics between the two of them perfectly believable within canon, epilogue excluded of course), but the way you write Ginny and Harry eliminates that thought from my mind; it's like they are meant to be together.
I'm really looking forward to the medal presentation. I think that will be a fascinating chapter. Will that be the next one or is it a few away yet?
Thanks for the review.
This chapter was finished just after Christmas, but it was wrong, and it took me a while to figure out why. This is a completely rewritten version.
Unlike many, I have never, ever, seen Harry/Hermione as a couple (is it because I'm a bloke?). We spent seven years in his head and at no time is he ever physically attracted to her. Even at the Yule Ball, all she achieves is a fairly dismissive “quite pretty” from him. We only see him show attraction towards three girls: Cho, Ginny and Parvati. Love needs more than physical attraction, but it does need physical attraction.
The next chapter is called Christmas: Decorations, and the one after that Christmas: Suspicions. Now that I’m past the problem chapter I hope to move forwards quickly. -N-
A nice conclusion to your little soap. I liked it. Good job.
Author's Response: Thank you. -N-
I am on the fence about this chapter. I enjoyed the story you were trying to tell but I am not sure I can digest the first person POV.
The insight into Ron's mind and what he is actually thinking is quite revealing. Yes, Ron has matured but he still has some growing left to do (I think). If there is one part I really like it is how Ron paints Hermione as beautiful; not typically beautiful, but the whole package for him. I also like his internal struggle about when he is going to talk to Harry, Ginny, and Hermione. That should be interesting.
Am I correct is thinking that your story about Arthur Weasley takes place on this same day?
Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
Four chapters, and four different first person perspectives. I’m sorry that you find it indigestible. This is my first real attempt to write all four main characters in trhe first person in one single narrative. Perhaps it doesn’t work. But it’s also my rudest story, and I wonder if that has something to do with it?Ron matured enormously during DH, but he will always be a little insecure. It’s obvious (I think) from canon that the hermione Ron see’s is different to the one Harry sees.
Yes, this is the morning before the events of “the Mind of Arthur Weasley” clever you!-N-
I really liked this chapter; nicely written. If I remember correctly, you said somewhere that you were going to use the Harry Interview in a similar style story. Is that still on the books or did this one replace that? I would still love to hear the last episode of Potterwatch.
Also, I know this doesn't relate to this story but did you have any plans on writing about the reunion between Harry and the Dursleys? I just think that would be such a deliciously awkward situation that it would make a great story.
Thanks for the review.
I had (have?) planned a Harry interview as the last ever Potterwatch. The general format of that story was transferred to this one. I still have my notes (and “questions from the public”) but I have no plans to write it at the moment.
The Harry/Dursleys reunion is drafted. It forms the first three chapters of a novel-length story set in 2001 and currently called “The Slytherin Four” (though I don’t like the title). Unfortunately, before I get there I must finish Aurors and Schoolgirls (1999) and its sequel, Hunters and Prey (2000). Perhaps “Friends and Foes” would be a better title. -N-
This story is very well written. Your understanding of Hermione as a character is quite remarkable. Thanks for an informative look into her mind. Looking forward to the Epilogue.
Author's Response: Hermione is easily my favorite character to write, so I'm happy to hear you say you think I get her. Thanks so much for reading this and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it.
Great story. It is one of the most unique stories I have had the pleasure of reading. Love how you included St. Nick in with this. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the compliment. If you wanted to read more St. Nick, he appeared in one of my holiday stories this year as well, A Visit From Father Christmas. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)
A nice little chapter that showcases Harry and Ginny very well, I think. I really enjoyed the part with the awkward exchange about Harry's scars. Those are the parts I enjoy the most; when the muggle and magical worlds overlap and seeing what the results will be. I hope we can look forward to more of the same.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I find the overlap interesting too, and Jacqui is really growing as a character. Butdespite my love of my narrator, (though not next chapter) I’m going to have to write a third person chapter. Otherwise the mystery plot won’t go anywhere. -N-
So I have been reading your stories for a while now and have actually re-read many of them. I felt is was about time that I should finally comment. You're stories fill a much needed void in the HP universe. This is the only set of stories that I have found that are all interrelated and show the life of most characters Post-Hogwarts. They are extremely well written and you are a gifted writer.
The level of detail you bring to your stories is unparalleled. There is also a certain creative spark in your stories that I have noticed lacking in others. Your muggle POV in this story is quite refreshing. I eagerly await updates to your stories because I just can't get enough of them.
Thanks for all the great stories.
Thanks for the review.
My future history was part-planned before I started writing. I have added to it, but changed very little since I drafted the original timeline. Rolf Scamander is a lot younger than I’d originally planned and my original characters Fenella Gray and Mark Moon often appear unexpectedly in the background. Other than that, things are moving forwards according to the plan.
Jacqui is proving to be a very good narrator, although I suspect that there will be at least a couple of occasions where I have to move to a third person Harry/Ginny perspective (because I don’t want to have to Obliviate Jacqui). -N-
Excellent chapter Neil. This is probably my favorite chapter of this story. I loved the confrontation between Ginny and Mrs. Saville. I don't know why I liked this one so much. I think it might be because it seemed like a lot of information was presented and it actually wasn't...if that makes any sense. Anyway, keep up the excellent work!
Thanks, I think :-D
A lot of information is presented, its simply, given the unreliability of Jacqui’s sources, you’ll need to sift out the useful bits. James speaks true, but isn’t always understood. Harry and Ginny lie, because they must, but their lies are half truths. -N-
Your understanding of these two characters continues to surprise me. A very good story describing a difficult time in their lives. I like it.
Author's Response: What a nice thing to say. Thanks so much!
I love your characterization of Lavender. In the series she doesn't really see much in the way of character development (except for the brief stint as 'Won Won's' girlfriend), but I like the direction you took her.
You make her such a damaged soul and the struggles she has really make her admirable. The determination she shows in trying to become and Auror while she is stuck in a wheel chair after her encounter with Greyback. Wallowing in self-pity and feeling sorry for herself. Then she is given a second chance and finally makes it as an Auror (thanks no doubt to Harry's intervention). And this downward spiral you have her on, trying to discover who she is post battle of Hogwarts - it is all a very good character story.
Thanks again for the stories and looking forward to seeing how you develop her further.
I give Lavender a hard time. I have at least four more Lavender stories planned (Moons, Browns, Exsanguination and Scars) and she’ll make an important contribution in the sequel to Aurors and Schoolgirls too. I seem to be jumping back and forth across her life (but I do that all the time). The next Lavender story (Moons) is set in 2010, seven years after these events. The others are earlier.
You have made a lot of very good predictions about how Lavender got to this point. Thanks for the review.-N-
I just reread this story and wanted to tell you again how much I enjoyed it. I read in some of the other reviews that you mentioned that you were going to write more stories about the M.I.T. and I was wondering if I could offer a suggestion. Appointing a muggle to the team would of course be controversial and the story that relates to her selection could be quite interesting. Maybe it would fit in with a story about how the M.I.T. came into existence. Just a thought. Thanks again for a great set of stories.
I already know how (and when) Bobbie is appointed, it will form a big part of a novel length story already in the planning stages. Here are some of Abberline’s words from this story: A couple of years ago, I was called to a suspicious death in Belgravia, Beadle was a beat plod. The house belonged to a geezer called Fletch-Finchley or something. Just like the last time, when that speccy kid and his lanky ginger mate turned up!
All will be revealed. :-) -N-
I loved the actual epitaph. I thought it was perfectly apt. Good job. I wouldn't be able to think of that. 'Feared and Revered' - nice!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the ending of the epitaph, it took a while for me to come up with something suitable, but in the end I guess it worked itself out. Much thanks for the review, and btw 'Feared and Revered' was very very very very very nearly the end epitaph!
Definitely a good one shot. I like the inside look into Ginny's Quidditch days. I know you have your stories all planned out and I hope you let Ginny play for a few years and get a chance on the national team. I know it's cutting it close with her first kid (you do have a story about that). Looking forward to your upcoming stories.
By my calendar Ginny starts her professional career in the 1999/2000 season (aged 18) and ends it in the 2003/2004 season (aged 23). That is only five seasons, but it's long enough to establish herself and get a place on the England Squad. I mention it in ECCENTRIC and in the "Voldemort Doesn't Play Quidditch" chapter of "Tales of the Battle".
I expect to have one or two stories in the queue for some time.-N-
Loved this introduction. I can really see Hermione and Harry causing problems for the old guard at the Ministry. It is interesting to see their perspective on this new crew of 'heroes'. Really looking forward to the next parts. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The next two chapters are beta'd so there will be more soon. JKR said that after the battle Harry and his friends made sweeping changes. Not everyone will like that. -N-
Its been a couple weeks since I checked your work but this story is definitely up to par. I don't yet know 'whodunnit' but I will be looking for clues. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks, I hope I’ve scatter enough information in the next chapter to allow you to make a decent guess before the end. -N-
Nice conclusion to the H&P. I've been reading this story since the beginning and it was entertaining the entire way through. Nice work.
I'm trying to remember, was Goyle killing Colin part of the cannon or your fiction? Either way it's nice to see that part of the story get introduced.
Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I've certainly tried to entertain.Goyle killing Colin happened in "Tales of the Battle" so far as I know it's not canon. I'm pretty certain I made it up, mainly because JKR identified the Killers of Fred, Tonks, and Lupin.