If I'd been born a couple of years and a few hundred miles closer to casting, I would have fought Emma Watson tooth and nail for the role of our favorite Insufferable Know-It-All! Not that I'd have been met with any success; the incomparable Ms. Watson would merely have had to be witness to my very nasty case of the Sour Grapes.
must... keep... on reading..... will properly review once i can stop. but i must say, WONDERFUL chapter... i can already see you are an exceptional writer
Nice! Thanks for the lovely tale, Arnel! It's a nice little treat to find well-written missing moments and that sort of tidbit. I really really liked the attention your detail (eckeltricity and such); it makes the story seem very much in the present and helps the reader experience everything firsthand. The flashbacks when Arthur is pondering his relationship with Ron at the latter's bedside are very well chosen and helpful- they keep Arthur's ideas from presenting themselves as merely paper-and-ink emotion. All the interactions between the characters, as well as the characterizations, were very realistic, giving the story a nice flow. I noticed some reviewers found Arthur's intuition as to his children's romantic lives surprising- however, you did such a good job of building Arthur up as a very perceptive person (starting with his realization, when his wife yells at him to "shut that thing off" (perfectly Molly!), that something was seriously wrong; I thought at first that he would think she was just annoyed at the noise :) ) that his insights seemed natural enough. Ooh, more details! You had Fawkes the Phoenix play the messenger again in this story. It seemed a bit curious at first to have the majestic creature act the common barn owl (I know he did it in OotP, but I though "extenuating circumstances "), but perhaps Fawkes, wise as he is, wouldn't mind lending his services- after all, he already helped in two other perilous situations involving a Weasley: Ginny's sojourn to the chamber and Arthur's attack. Maybe they're growing on him! Speaking of those situations, your theory that a few of the Weasleys now owe Harry a life totally bowled me over; I'd never have thought to take Harry's deeds as such! I like the way the Weasleys take it in the end: saying that it doesn't matter much as they consider Harry a son anyway. Lovely! Just goes to show how much can be gleaned from small comments in the series- Yay for cannon story fodder! Well, sorry for the rather muddled review, and once again, thank you for the nice story- and may your quill stay sharp ;) !
*Smiles a watery yet satitisfied grin* Neat! The parts about Harry´s rejection of the potions book, and the dark side it stands for, and his worries about other student´s future (thank goodness Hoggy Hogwarts wasn´t closed after all!) really show the strength of his character. And the bowling! I can totally picture the headmaster of the most prestigious wizarding school with... puple bowling shoes *fit of silent giggles*. It´s a side of Dumbledore that I regreted wasn´t explored enough in the books. Just a little teensy weensy detail... how did Harry get from the entrance hall to the 7th floor so quickly? Well, thinking about it now I realize he could have accidentaly taken a secret passage or something, but at the time it seemed weird... anyway, that detail didn´t take away from the merit of the story. Thanks!
Author's Response: Hi! Wow, this was one of my very first stories here on the archives. How neat to find a review for it after all this time! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I rather liked the bits about bowling as well. And I think something like this would have been good for the last book - some defining moment where Harry rejects the temptation to do something Dark. Oh well, it turned out well enough for him. ;) As for getting up to the 7th floor - um, yes, let's just say he took a secret passage and call it a day. ;) Honestly, since I wrote it four years ago, I don't really remember just what I was thinking, other than Harry was just sort of wandering and thinking. It does seem a bit abrupt, though, doesn't it? Thanks again again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)
Hi Gina! I think a thanks for another great piece is in order, early though it is (or late thought the reader reviews!). Knowing what a great Lily/James writer you are, I can't believe I'd neglected this one until now! It is rather different in substance from your current works in some ways: for example, I think that in present stories you allow the meant-to-be pair the chance to work out their differences in a much more drawn out, gritty (though perhaps realistic) manner.
As for technique, I love how you can affect a detachment one moment, so as to give the happenings a humorous angle (He was met with an assortment of blank stares, raised eyebrows, and brazen guffaws ), yet instantly and seamlessly present what the protagonist is feeling the next (On one hand he found it exhilarating, but on the other he was surprised to find that her remarks were actually getting to him this time ).
The prose flows fantastically well. I must also show my appreciation for your fantastic sense of humor, particularly in, but not limited to, J/L's sparring. My favorite crack? Probably one you gave to Lily:
âI think you look better covered in green slime, Potter,â she called rather brightly. âIt makes your big head look smaller.â
âGo stick your nose back in your cauldron, Evans. Iâm tired of entertaining you with my exceptional wit and talent.â Even when hes not trying to call attention to himself, James can be quite witty- or toe-rag-ish. It totally shows why Lily would still be ..er.. aware of him after a month of silence. Really, all your characters are spot on- Which makes me wonder why we see virtually no Peter... But anyhow, a very enjoyable read, and, of course, with a signature Gmariam clever move at the end in the form of the socks!
Author's Response: Hi there! Oh I have to admit when I saw this story had a review I went "EEP!" It is an early piece of mine and quite different from how I write James and Lily now. This was total fluff; now I try to give them a bit more substance. It was still fun, though, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the lovely review. I really appreciate all the comments and will try to live up to them next time I write a James and Lily story. ;) As for Peter...he does appear more in my later stories. He just didn't fit in here, nor does he *always* fit in elsewhere. He was a bit of a hanger-on, after all. And he's hard to write, knowing he turns out to be such a horrible person. Anyway-didn't realize I had a signature move either, that's awesome. Something else to include in my next one, lol! Thanks again for looking this up, I appreciate it! ~Gina :)
LOVED this! As in harbor-deep-feelings-of regard-and-affection for it! Although none of this could ever be expected to happen (I hope! Imagine dear old Voldy getting so easily into Hogwarts!), it wasn´t as extensibly OOC as one can expect any humor fic with Voldemort as the protagonist to be (except for the part when Volders goes ¨Mommy¨- SERIOUSLY disturbing image). Your sense of humor is just the best! It doesn´t appear that you are driving yourself to get a roll-around-snorting laugh out of your readers, yet that´s what the cleverly inserted ironic frases and simply-stated humor achieve. Btw, great characterization for
Wormtail. Awesome! Keep writing- please, or I will be forced to prescribe some much needed tough love!
Loved this tale! I specially enjoyed the bits of dialogue (¨What are you doing, woman?-so TTC (true to character), but it didn´t hurt that it´s a remarkably well-written fic. And the ending! ... wondering if George kissed the same way as Fred... nice little prelude to the blunt
¨Oh, George, of course... I thought that was obvious!¨
Only regret... we didn´t get to read everyone´s reaction to Lily and her sworn enemy James´ fit of sudden snogging (if that´s how Cupid´s arrow manifested itself, of course!).
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Mmm, I wonder how Lily did react? I've always had a soft spot for George/Angelina because people tend to think she should have been with Fred. Thanks again ~Carole~
Really nice! Truly gives you an insight into those horrible, decisive (maybe even life changing) moments and how Snape was able to say the cursed word that broke his most treasured friendship. It was especially satisfying for me because I was never really satisfied with the idea of Severus´ sudden use of the word Mudblood for Lily, no matter how much pressure he was under. Whew! Your narration took a big burden off my shoulders ;). And to have done it in verse, no less! What talent! Thanks, keep writing!
Oh my gracious!!! I believe I have suddenly fallen in luuuurve with the sound of music just for providing the "score" to this, the greatest in all song remakes! *humming* Potter's dismay at my welcome back party- Brilliant! How long did it take you to write it? And thank you for giving me the laugh of my life!!
Hello Invisibility Cloak,
Ah, the good old Sound of Music ... it gets us all in the end! And what better song from that great film to choose for Voldemort than My Favourite Things? Albeit a completely dark and twisted version ...
It took me roughly an evening to write this one. Well, an evening and a night if I recall correctly (it was a fair while ago now, so my recollection may be a bit fuzzy). I do remember (very well) that trying to think of words that rhymed with 'thing' and were also in context with the theme almost drove me bonkers, but it was worth it in the end, I think - especially if you enjoyed it so much! Voldemort is an unusual contender for a musical number (to say the least), but the image of him prancing around in Malfoy Manor, waving his arms around & belting out this macabre (yet cheery) little number was too delicious to resist :o) I am THRILLED that you enjoyed it so much!
Thanks for R & R-ing,
Kara's Aunty ;)
Hi there! Thanks for posting such a wonderful study, MagEd! Although.... hm... I'm not really sure that merely “study” describes your little masterpiece. In my opinion, though each and every character was very well presented and you gave an accurate summary of everyone using only a few paragraphs chock-full of details (which does merit this as a perfect study), you also included relevance and plots, voices and settings (loved Arthur's!), something which is necessary to transform a profile into..... a wonderful tale like this one!!! This is rather difficult to manage sometimes (it's easy get stuck just stringing various trivia together), but you did it with flying colors! What I DID end up enjoying most most, however, were the characters, so I hope you don't mind if I give you most of the (lengthy ;) ) opinions I gathered of them in your work, skipping a bit over the other details:
Hermione's Dad was obviously needed to start the tale. It was a very good start. We saw a bit more of Hermione as the exceptional child we already knew she was. We also saw some very precious Granger family moments, which were practically nonexistent in the the books. The line: Andrew stared at his only daughter, a grown woman now, with her hair neatly clipped up and her eyes bright and an air of confidence in herself and her mind and her magical powers subtly clinging to her posture did a very important thing: it allowed the reader to, in their mind, analyze and catalogue what they knew about the journey from bushy-haired firstie to Hermione Weasley.
I think Victor's piece was the second best-written one: I was left with the impression that everything came back to Hermione, but it was not all about her. We learn Hermione giggles in an infectuos manner, Hermione is interesting to many types of people, Hermione....... but you showed very well how Hermione proved important to Victor and how he turned out. I also think developing Victor as well as you did is an example of how throughout this piece you subtly managed to paint Hermione, paint other characters and let us paint our own thoughts all at once.
Neville- It was a nice touch to include how he realized about Ron/Hermione before everyone else did. And I think you had a very nice thought with how he finds that: Hermione wasn't the only nice girl out there. You also touched upon a very important bit of information: for a girl who spent some parts of her first year at Hogwarts friendless, She had a way of reading people, Hermione did, and knowing what they needed most in a friend. He thought that was a pretty rare quality - a quality which I think throughout the books is a sign of her growing maturity. Great idea to include it!
Harry's piece, especially his sentence about how he'd been raised by a bushy-haired, buck-toothed girl was very sweet- their fraternal relationship really shows.
This was the nicest part for me. I must say, though maybe these characters aren't too relevant, that you certainly gave Ginny the persona I always expected her to have, the caring-but-relaxed-mother-who-gives-her-child-leeway-except-when-they-mess-really-badly air; I can understand why Hugo sometimes envies his cousins (except when Aunt Ginny is really, really scary) and I think it's appropriate how, though Albus is closer to Hugo's age, James is the one who gets in trouble with him (btw, I loved the cookies bit!). And Harry as the slightly indulgent father- I guess that would be an effect of his being an orphan.
My favorite parts were how Hermione ran true to form spending so much quality time with her kid (I can imagine her going through mountain after mountain of parenting books, though I bet she's a bit of a natural as a mom), the muggle computer and how she let Hugo paint his room (strict mom doesn't necessarily mean stifling mom), and how she first tried to deal with the angry mother at the hospital calmly.
And finally Ron's piece: very pretty. Their growing, unending love was really well declared- it didn't matter that in their childhood relationship they had gone through many downs; they were partners through most of it, and I love how you reinforced that with Neither one had known what they were doing, but they had been doing it together, and that was all that had mattered. Ron is also another very good example of how Hermione helped many people around her grow.
I think you covered everyone important, although I would have included Hagrid. I think they were very important to each other, that Hagrid was very fond of Hermione, and that they helped one another through rough times.... but maybe that can be a subject for another story! ;)
All that said, I especially liked:
1) That you included tons and tons of details about Hermione which also helped the shaping of the other characters- for example, why different people listened to her: Neville because he knew SPEW was important to her, Harry because she was his friend, and Arthur out of hearty interest.
2) That you made how Hermione and Ron are a great couple very obvious
3) That the caring aspect of Hermione's character was the most prominent
4) That you did all this with solid examples told in each character's POV with good, solid experiences and examples, rather than just plainly stated as their thoughts about her, therefore letting the reader discover many things on his own. Awesome!
One of my favorite aspects of the HP books was the amazingly developed characters, which may explain why I so loved your building upon and adding to them, but a wonderful achievement with this piece is that you managed to develop these descriptions into a story (I think I'm repeating myself, but I can't help it, you really nailed that part!).
Lastly, one thing that really surprised me was how, according to Ron, Hermione had a special interest in Luna Lovegood- nice though our Hermione may be, I never really thought this particular pair got on very well. Oh well! Maybe with maturity they did improve their interactions. Once again, thank you, great job, and please keep that quill writing!!!
Wow. I had to read it two times to wrap my head around it all (poor Tom- the fuzzines IS annoying). Very well done, very well written, great description, imagery and continuity to the story (the snow and slush, and bitting cold add so much to the context)- the attention to detail was superb (Harry´s stick having a leaf, for example).
Despite what he sometimes says, it is apparent that Tom needs to communicate and relate to someone- although perhaps he cannot exactly relate to Harry´s optismistic and tranquil nature (by the way, I think the scene where Tom imagines Harry mimicking his emotions at his having killed Dennis was very well done and shows this point nicely).
The part at the end where Tom reflects on Harry´s effect on him, though... would a nine year old recnognize ¨evil¨ in himself? Well, anyway, it is clear that the boy Voldemort had some problems- had they been attended properly, would Lord Flight-from-death have existed?
The effect of the man from the alcove is very curious. Tom realized what he man´s kindness represented, yet in the end he was still added to the list of future fatalities.
I was left wondering, though... how did Harry appear? Is he the boy-who-lived whom we know and love?
What was the relationship between Harry and the man in the alcove, if there was any at all?
They weren´t just figments of Tom´s imagination, were they?
I really enjoyed the story. It definitely opened up several interesting trains of thought.
Please keep writting!
Author's Response: Thank you! This has definitely made my day. :) I really appreciate you taking the time to read this (twice!) and leave a lovely review!
I suppose the man and Harrys natures are ambiguous. But here is how I saw it, while I was writing: Harry IS just a figment of Toms imagination. Tom was thinking about meeting a boy (like Harry) for a long time before he finally snapped and created one himself. I did model this Harry from our Boy-Who-Lived, but he isnt the exact same; hes more of Toms goodness, or child-ness. The man, however, is real; Tom also subconsciously modeled Harry after the man was kind to him. He was more of a father figure to Tom, but Tom in the end rejects it.
Hope that helps. I know that a lot of it is strange, but this story just wrote itself. I would sit down and just type up what came to mind, and this happened, haha.
Again, thank you so much! :)
Nice! The story seemed very natural, from the way Lily´s voice came through to how she ended up snogging him (quite the difficult feat, because under normal circumstances I doubt she would have consented to baby-sit the annoying toe-rag, let alone engage in... ah... certain intriguing activities with him). The last part is rather mature in comparison to the rest of the piece, but I love it!
PS: ¨We both had our revenge on Sirius, after which McGonagall sat us all down and forced a truce¨. Hmm... wonder what this delightful revenge consited in?
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad you enjoyed this story, because it was one of those stories that I just had so much fun writing, I was laughing to myself almost the entire time, lol. As for that prank...actually, I know exactly what happened. I started to write a sequel to this story for the following Valentine's Day, and if I were to ever finish it, you will find out exactly what both James and Lily did to Sirius. Hee hee. Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate your kind words!
It felt just like a typical (without forsaking hilarious) day at Hogwarts!
I don't think I have ever read a better fan-fic angsty Sirius- thank you so much! And the last line (in my humble opinion) really sums everything up, giving a sense of purpose and finality to the poem, but a beginning to the story itself. Thanks again! PLEASE keep writing!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such high praise. I am glad you felt the poem transitioned so well to lead in to the book/ movie scenes. Thanks again, and I assure you I am still writing. More will be added asap :)
Hey Carilee! First of all, it's a lovely little tidbit of backstory you have here. Everything flowed very well. While the idea of Hermione identifying with Crookshanks because he's seemingly unlovable is very clearly and naturally presented, but you took care not to make it seem that was all Hermione was thinking about. And maybe I'm blowing up a very little detail, but how Hermione Granger introduces herself and her friends with all the pomp and circumstance of full names seems very fitting, at least at that early period of her life. It proves what I sincerely hope, that she doesn't think she's a three galleon's worth girl!
The only thing that interrupted the flow for me was how open Hermione was with the owner about having need friends at some point. It seems too open, but maybe that's what you were trying to portray about how Hermione feels about the friend situation.
It's wonderful to discover a promising fanfic author, especially when they are new and you get to share in the development of their work! Looking forward to seeing what you next present the community with! -Val
PS: (Yay! first review! Now when you become an award winning fanfic writer I can tell everyone I was your first reviewer! ;) )
Author's Response: Awwwww! Thanks for making my first review special!
Wow. I can't believe that I haven't taken the time to partake of your great characterizations and flowing prose before, Lori, but now that I've started I have to say I'm hooked. This is such a great start; so much that, inconsiderate of your artistry as it may sound, if this doesn't get updated soon I'll be forced to send my author-who-doesn't-update-fast-enough avenging elves after you ;). Ernie always seemed a very decent sort in the books, even if a tad difficult to stomach sometimes (and we didn't see a lot of him). I think both aspects were captured perfectly here in order to form a very fully fleshed out person. My favorite bit here was the vexed "Women". It suggested that Ernie did not appreciate being on the subject's wrong side, but also that he is in general rather perplexed by the fairer gender. Nice little suggestive sentences are worth their weight in gold! The only two faintly puzzling details I found here were: 1) that Neville didn't really stick up for Hannah in the kitchen. He may have disagreed with the harebrained scheme, or at least not thought Ernie's possible response worth it, but in other pieces I've read by you Neville acted rather intuitive and protective of Hannah; and 2) The first sentence provides an intriguing beginning, but it was a bit jarring to read "His owl, Belladonna... had just returned and was pecking insistently at the window of his second story flat" right afterwards and to have the story continue along that vein of thought for the next five sentences, then jump back to the topic of the dinner party- not that it wasn't interesting- it just interrupted thethe magnificent flow you usually established. Overall- a lovely read! Can't wait to read the next installment (... pst... Lisa Turpin???)
Author's Response: Hello, Cloak. :) You have made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time--not only to read my story--but to leave this lovely and thoughtful review. I'm so glad you liked Ernie here. He was described as "pompass" is canon, but he was young and I imagine surviving a war would tinker a bit with one's arrogance. I see him mellowing out quite a bit in that regard.
Hey, N. I think a big commendation is in order for your admirable tackling of a new type of character matter... yes, they may not be wholly sympathetic, and yes, unsavory is perhaps an understatement, but were we to never venture into their realm we would run the risk of being as âŚ er... unfair towards and ignorant of these characters as Millicent is towards/of muggles.
Now, Millicent's actions not remotely what I'd pursue for myself or condone, nor recommend anyone to seek, but I think that's why you did an such a fantastic job of blurring the line that would define these two characters as unpleasant, mostly through your excellent, and realistic, way of presenting Millicent's thoughts, so that they almost become the reader's own. Her battles, her beliefs, the things that speak to her (and for that matter, to Marcus as well) speak to the reader because she herself believes in them so much. At the end of the story, I was left with the idea that the dynamic duo is creative, resilient, determined, strong, and passionate, and with some share of slytherin cunning-to-achieve-an-end as well. They care about something other than themselves. Of course, there's a list just as long, if not longer, of their detrimental traits, but just the fact that I was able to notice the quantifiably good traits shows how palpable, well-fleshed-out and three-dimensional your characters are.
I read a review you received that takes some issue with the language used by the characters, as well as with the detail that the reviewer proclaims make for a stereotypical view of the matter, like the tenement building. I think I can disagree with these assertions, if only on the grounds that the characters seem wholly feasible to me, not because of any preconceptions I may have, but because everything about them was so solidly presented. There was not one action they took which seemed unrealistic (which, frankly, alarms me a bit with what it says about my judgment, but once again, I think your great writing is to blame!). For example, while the ârutting beastâ description instilled a definite sense of nausea in me, too, it really did seem like a compliment coming from Millicent.
Oh, and it almost goes unsaid: great flow, description, and imagination, like always- And the details were great. Colorful language aside, I liked ââFuck off, Boris,â Millicent and Marcus told him together. They grinned at their chorused agreement and turned to face him. He did as he was told.â
Anyway, thanks for the story, I'm a big fan! -Val
Thank you. This was a real departure for me. The attitudes (and to some extent the accents) were culled from a number of sources. The Muggle-hate is (relatively) easy to find examples of, unfortunately. Simply looking at a few right wing racist sites and watching people explaining how person x, y, or z is sub-human because of their skin colour or religion will show you how common this attitude is.
The villainy and the matter of fact way in which they go about their unpleasant business owes a lot (as I said) to an interview with an actor named Jason Watkins, which was at one time on the Being Human site. Heâs an ordinary looking, rather short and balding man with fair hair, and he played the evil vampire leader, Herrick, in the first series of Being Human. His comments were basically that only pantomime villains go âhaha â look at me, arenât I evilâ. His Herrick was a reasonable man doing things which he obviously considered to be reasonable, except they were monstrous, and he was a monster.
Language is, to some extend a shortcut. I could have made Marcus and Millicent rich, well spoken and urbane racists, but that role is already filled by Draco and Pansy. Marcus said little in the books, and I donât think that Millicent ever spoke, so I made them tenement dwellers at the edges of society. That wasnât meant as a slight on such people. All people are people, and there is good and bad at all levels of society.
PS: The summary was delightful in and of itself!
PPS: I'm not sure I'd tone the rating down..
Author's Response: Thanks. I often wonder whether Iâm cautious with my ratings, but better to be cautious than incautious, I think.
Joint winner of Best Post-Hogwarts One-Shot at the 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards
Lovely! I've generally stayed away from funeral pieces, but this was definitely enjoyable in or out of the context of its category. The beginning hooked me right off:
"Now we will hear George Weasley talk of the memories he shared with Fred."
He wasn't listening.The blunt beginning sets the appropriate mood for what turned out to be a very clear and powerful portrayal of what is likely, for the fandom, one of the most dreaded events in aftermath of the battle.
This time he was alone in his ignorance. âŚ at the risk of obliterating all subtlety, I assume you're referring to Fred's camaraderie in ignorance of times past? The are beautiful/painful reminders of George's missing half like this one throughout the story- I think my favorite (a.k.a. The Most Heartbreaking) might be:
"What I wouldn't give to be fifty years older..."At this, George snorted as he tried not to think about Fred growing older.
I swear, I just did a half-sighed little âAwwâ and wiped away a tear. Thank goodness, then, for your mastery of the irreverent brand of wit we have come to know and love from the twins! I couldn't stop laughing throughout. On a related subject, if I must mention one last touch of authenticity in the story, it's the pranks that were done in memory of Fred. It's difficult to authentically reproduce the twins' pranks, something many of us know from experience, but you provide a realistic idea, no problem, and even manage to work it into a painful moment:
"Please tell me you're not letting this go off without a hitch," pleaded Fred through gritted teeth. "Decoy detonators under Muriel's and few other random chairs, Whizz-Bangs at either end of the aisle, I'm pretty sure none of the food at the wake is real and this podium is set to become a giraffe in about three minutes," George replied thickly.
It's a brilliant piece in all ways- I just have a very minor thing...
"Oh contraire, my brother," Fred said. Well, perhaps we shouldn't hold Fred to excessively high grammatical standards, but I think he meant 'Au' contraire âŚ?
Like I said, nothing too important. Thanks again for a great story, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Haha, I tend to avoid funeral fics as well; I'm not just emotionally stable enough to cope! Obliterate away :) Yes, it is. Something tells me the twins didn't take turns paying attention in lessons. A lot of fics have an organised fireworks display but that seemed a bit, well... Organised. Yeah, you got me. I'm not actually French. I know, shocking. Thank you for pointing it out :) I'll change it shortly. Anyway, thank for the review and all the kind words. They mean a lot :)
Hey, Ars Letalis! Nice imagery, particularly "She presses her forehead into his as tears streak down her face and drip onto his skin like hot oil". The instances of humor were nice as well: "little lapdog--"Lapwolf!"--". And I feel it's very intriguing how you gave Remus the exact opposite reaction that Severus has regarding Harry: "This is his chance for redemption, this child who looks so much like the man Remus had wronged all those years ago and whose eyes narrow in exasperation the same as his mother's." But that seems likely- Remus and Severus are very different people, with some substantial differences in their backgrounds, especially pertaining to James Potter.You also made sure to let the reader discover for him/herself about the relationship, but I wonder if you could have elucidated further on why Lily needed both men...? And thank you for putting in the author's notes, both of them. You're right on both counts, of course :). It's always useful to know what music helped engender a story, and perhaps also something of what the author thinks of their own work!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I feel that reviews like this are what make writing fanfiction really, genuinely worthwhile. You're right that there could've been some more elaboration as to the nature of their relationship/Lily's feelings, but considering Lily didn't seem to know what was going through her own head, it was hard for me to make an attempt at translating it myself, haha. So maybe she didn't know why she needed Remus. Could it have been that she felt he was a safer choice than James? Was she being greedy? It might be yes on both counts, I admit. I'm glad you caught the parallel between him and Severus! I like to draw comparisons between the two, since I feel there's just so much there to go off of: traumatic childhoods, ostracism, having their lives changed in one direction or another by James Potter... and maybe Snape got the short end of the stick, but he was also the opposite sort of person that Remus was, always being hateful and cruel and, well, not a terribly good teacher. And yes, I agree, it's interesting to see where a writer draws from in the creative process. :)