I'm a teenage girl who loves Sons of Admirals, Monty Python, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Doctor Who, Bones, Terry Pratchett, AVPM/S, POTC, and countless other things, including (of course) Harry Potter!
I was on the boards a few years ago, under the name voldy_4_eva or something like that. I'd be shocked if anyone remembered or even recognized that name by now. Anyhow, in the Great Wipe, the mods removed all accounts that weren't being frequently used. That included me, since I had started a new school with an INTENSE amount of work.
A bit ago, I decided to rejoin the forum and the boards at large, and came down to this. Yes, I know I'm no great writer, but hopefully what gets up stirs your interest long enough to skim through and (perhaps) encourage you to leave a note in the form of a review. Or not. You decide.
Forum Name: **plotbunnies**
Current Vague Location: US, Eastern half
Continents Visited: 5
Continents Not Visited: 2
Foreign Language? French and Irish
Anything else? Probably not.
Great job on your first poem!
I love how you don't go overboard on any sort of remorse or specifics. I feel a lot of people get trapped into using 'Avada Kedavra' as perfect words to incorporate endlessly. But your poem doesn't use them, and I am grateful for how clear it makes the whole poem. What's also good is that it isn't tied down to the HP universe. That can be very limiting and constraining.
There are only two, and they kind of relate.
1) Once or twice you slip up on your rhyming. I know it's hard to constantly find words that rhyme, but especially in the first few stanzas it's important to be consistent.
2) I think that this poem might have been improved slightly if you hadn't actually rhymed at all. If you could find a way to keep the same rhythm without rhyming I think it would be greatly improved. Obviously, this is just my opinion, and that's not always a good thing to listen to. Especially since I'm not always a fan of rhyming, since I'm terrible at it myself.
Overall, great job, amazing poem! I hope you enjoyed writing it!
Well congrats. You got one validated. Yey.