Penname: iLuna17 [Contact]
Real name: Ellie
Member Since: 09/06/10
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Administrator
Hello! I'm Ellie (age sixteen) and I generally write Next Gen fanfiction.


Turn to Stone: Two statues come to life for a night. That's literally it.

The History Teacher: Teddy teacher history and James struggles through his last year of school.

Chased by Daylight: This was written for Maple_and_PheonixFeather, and is my Leddy. It's been nominated for best NG story in the QSQ's.

Humbling Prejudice: Nominated in the 2013 QSQ awards for Post-Hogwarts and NCR, this story features Eloise/Cormac, a pair I was dared to write. Contains heavy literary references.

Waltz of Treachery: A short, sassy Helgazar.

Rain Will Make the Flowers Grow: My Albus/Rose, written for the 2013 Cotillion. It's heavily based around the June Rebellion in 1832.

Remember the Slytherins: Working on it.

Yellow Knit Hat & Finding Neverland: My James II/Lucy pieces. The first is not a real relationship (they do not even kiss), but it evolves into Finding Neverland.

Human Debris: This was nominated for best D/A in the 2013 QSQ's, and is a very dark piece based around Albus Potter.

421 Hours: For all of those who enjoyed All That's Left, I have a companion piece. Look for it within the month.

Poetry: I'll post a new poem periodically. (most likely when I have writer's block for RTS or are having it beta-d)

Ascendio: Deleted
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Reviews by iLuna17

My Brave Face by grangergirl35
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 85]

Summary: Hermione has lived thirty-six years on this earth. The last twenty or so of them have been blissful and perfect, married to her best friend and lover. They have two beautiful children at Hogwarts. Ron's an Auror, and Hermione works in the new office at the Ministry, for the Mandatory Respect of Elf Rights Department. Then, one afternoon in February, she's called to St. Mungo's, where everything is ruined, and she's forced to remember the easier past.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 19551 Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
02/22/11 Updated: 01/17/12

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 04/26/11 Title: Chapter 1: In St. Mungo's

First off, love the rhyme!

Second of all,

Author's Response: First off, what rhyme? Second of all, same as yours . . . btw, what is ur second of all? :D -Joy


We'll Be Young Forever by Proserpina
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 57]


“You and I, we'll be young forever!” *

After a long, interesting, sweltering summer the Marauders are back for their sixth year, and they feel as though their teenage lives have only just begun.

James has been pursuing Lily for years, and he sure as hell isn't going to give up now. Sirius might actually be falling in love (though of course that can't be possible, can it?), and Remus is struggling with problems in his own family. Meanwhile, Peter has to decide how much worth he can put on friends who he will never live up to. And then there's Lily Evans, a girl who's starting to fall for the very man she swore not to. Diana McKinnon, her best friend, keeps finding herself staring at a certain grey-eyed Gryffindor, even though every piece of logic she has tells her that he's trouble.

But even though there's the looming danger of NEWTs, pranks, oily Slytherins, and physical education, a much bigger problem has presented itself. The Marauders' sixteen-year-old world isn't the safe place it used to be. There are rumors of danger and dark magic throughout the school, and of a powerful dark wizard named Voldemort. The Gryffindor sixth years have to decide where their true allegiances lie and how much they are willing to sacrifice for a war that seems impossible to win.

*Title and quote taken from the lyrics of Katy Perry's summer hit Teenage Dream.

Note 3/26: Ok guys so I know that I haven't updated in forever, but I promise I'll finish the story! I'm struggling with some stuff, but hang in there, I haven't forgotten.

Lots and lots and lots of love, Olivia

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Slash, Strong Profanity

Word count: 21942 Chapters: 9 Completed: No
02/23/11 Updated: 05/12/12

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 04/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Runaway

I know how you feel. I'm writing my first fic too, and reviews are everything to me. You have no reason to worry, you portray Sirius and his family exactly as I would imagine them. Amazing start, keep it up!

Author's Response: I'm glad you sympathize with me! *beams* I'm going to go to your story now and leave as many reviews as you left me. Thank you so so much! I look forward to hearing from you again :) ~Olivia

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 04/19/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two: Godric's Hollow

Still amazing! Wondering where this story will go. . . I can't wait to read the next chapter! Keep it up!

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 04/19/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three: Goodnight

Oh my god! Bloody brilliant! Love the description of Sirius, love Remus's thoughts, love everything! Please keep writing and updating! Love it!

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 04/19/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Lion's Lake

Nice chapter. Fun and upbeat, with some more if Lily's mindset changin. Keep writing and updating!


Not Alone by The_Real_Hermione
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Teddy Lupin appears to be surrounded by love and happiness, yet sometimes death and loneliness overshadow everything he does.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1329 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
04/08/11 Updated: 04/18/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 11/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Not Alone

First off, thanks so much for the wonderful review on All That's Left, and I felt I should try to thank you by reading this.

It was marvelous. I loved your personification of Teddy. It seemed real, that he could be so strong yet so sad at the same time. I love that you told it from Victoire's POV, and that made it even more emotional. I love the Teddy Era, and I felt the way you wrote his sadness was perfect. You took the reader through the entire journey of his life, and I really love the Teddy/Victoire ship. It must have been horrible for Teddy, growing up and never knowing his parents. It only makes sense that would eat at him sometimes. It was really well written.

My favorite moment in the fic was when Teddy was sitting in the Shack. Every emotion just hit me, and in truth I am sitting here with my eyes starting to water. It was really well written. :)

I hope this was helpful, but I really loved it. I always feel a strong connection to Teddy as he and I would be the same age. :) Thank you so much for your review, and I really love this songfic. The title fits it perfectly.


Author's Response: Hi Ellie, Thanks so much for this review!! It really made my day! And sorry I'm not getting back to it til today. I'm glad you liked this story, it's one of my favourite ones of the ones I've written. Like you, I'm drawn to Teddy, thought not because of age - I think he does parallel Harry in some ways, but he also makes me think of Neville - and yet I also think there's a side of him which is always outgoing and willing to play with his almost family, because having never had a family he really values it. It's funny how I decided to write this... I really wanted to write a songfic with a Starkid song, and then the story just flowed, even though the song is actually a Harry/Ginny song. Somehow I find it easier to write about Teddy from a different person's perspective. I'm glad you liked the bit in the Shack - I think Teddy really would have a strong connection to that place. Thanks for this lovely review!! Katrina


Ready by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Ron decides to leave the Ministry, and the reasons catch Hermione by surprise.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1594 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
04/14/11 Updated: 04/14/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 04/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Wow. That was amazing. You captured them both perfectly, the way the speak, act, their reasoning, perfect.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! It was fun to try and write something like this for them in this style. I'm glad it worked for you! I really appreciate the lovely review. ~Gina :)


Lily's Eyes by XenaTwin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Just a short poem, about Lily... and Harry going to Hogwarts, from Snape's POV

Lily's Eyes has been nominated for the Best Poetry Quicksilver Quill award. Thanks so much for the nomination!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 142 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
06/29/11 Updated: 07/01/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 08/07/11 Title: Chapter 1: Lily's Eyes

I love it. I'm bollocks at poetry, and I think you sum up Snape perfectly. I'll read some of your other ones within a week. I really want the beta boards back up so I can help my house in the Three Broomsticks!


The Missing Hands by Hotrav
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]


Molly Weasley seems to have a heart big enough to accept anyone in need of love. It doesn't matter if the person is an abused little boy named Harry or her son's always present 'friend' Hermione, Molly will mother them.

Perhaps her need to reach out is caused by what should be present, but is not. The Missing Hands...

Beta Reader - Hogwartsbookworm

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1744 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
06/30/11 Updated: 07/06/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 07/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Missing Hands

Absolutely brilliant. The story of Molly Weasley. I have no other words to describe this, but my eyes are pricking with the faintest of tears.


Summary: Five moments where Ginny Weasley helps Harry and the others during their Horcrux search and in the final battle, without anyone realizing. Set during DH and based on canon events, these are a series of missing moments revealing Ginny's vital hidden role.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 12215 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
07/17/11 Updated: 03/01/12

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 07/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Wedding

Splendid. Simply splendid. The way that you describe things so deeply, the way you described the look in Harry's eyes, and it is amazing how you took something so small as a scream and wove it into a whole different story. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks! I sometimes feel like I tend towards the over-descriptive (especially since I've never been a huge fan of dialogue) so I'm glad that you enjoyed it.


Aftermath by XenaTwin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: McGonagall's POV: her thoughts about Harry after the battle.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 945 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
07/27/11 Updated: 08/05/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 08/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Aftermath

I love it. Thank you so much for doing the plot bunny. It's heartfelt and it shows a different side of Minerva, and I like that a lot. Now I want to go read your other fics! Thanks!

Author's Response: I am very glad you liked it :) I really enjoyed writing it. Yes, read my stuff. I'd love your thoughts :)


Deathsticks by Daniel Crogan
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Thousands of years before the Boy Who Lived fought He Who Must Not Be Named, a young boy gets by in a small farming village, until the magical day when a Wizard comes to town. The Wizard's tutelage begins a journey that will change them both, and alter the course of magic forever.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5962 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
07/30/11 Updated: 08/01/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 01/02/12 Title: Chapter 1: Deathsticks


I thought the idea for this piece was brilliantly creative. Looking at the sign in Diagon Alley above his shop, I also wondered how Ollivander, or Ollie, got his start. It was full of magic, and I thought your characterization of Ollivander was quite good. He was eager to learn, and he was bored and frustrated with ordinary tasks, quite like the Ollivander we see in the books. I also thought the first meeting with Malazed it perfectly with Ollivander’s character. He was not afraid to approach the man, simply because he was curious. It really added to Ollivander’s character.

Malazed was a marvelous character. Especially with this: You’re a wizard, Ollie “ you can do whatever you want! Something in that moment made him become very clear to me. In my mind, he was a happy man; one who wanted Ollivander to do well and also be happy, which he clearly wasn't before. I can picture Ollie's face lighting up, and any person who could do that is marvelous iLater on in the story, he is the one to bring Ollivander back down to earth. It was probably my favorite part of the story; it explains not only how Ollivander lived so long, but how he was carried with his magic.

I do, however, find difficulty in believing that Ollivander ‘created’ wands. Wizards had been using magic since ancient times; we know that from the Weasleys’ visit to Egypt. I think he could have revolutionized the wand, but I don’t think he created it. Also, I notice you tend to repeat things. I thought you explained who Ilea is a few times, and it seemed unnecessary. On a different note, some of the changing in times seems jumpy. Maybe you could make the transition in between Ilea's death and Ollivander's reemergence into the world a little smoother, to be specific.

My favorite part of the piece, though, has to be how it ties in with the Elder Wand. Ollivander had gotten carried away with his own brilliance. He wanted to learn and learn, to become as powerful as he could be. This reminded me strongly of Albus Dumbledore. And also like Dumbledore, he came to realize how bad the power was. The similarities between them are very strong, both with tragic pasts, both who sought out the Elder Wand. But Ollivander also reminds me of Voldemort, with his hunger for power both in canon and in your story. He's a very thought-provoking character, like a blend of Albus and Dumbledore, but with his own perks and faults.

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. It was fresh and creative, and this piece leaves me thinking about Ollivander and his life, something I hadn’t done much more than vaguely wonder about before.



Azkaban by XenaTwin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Sirius' POV after the death of Lily and James, and his incarceration.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 194 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
08/03/11 Updated: 08/09/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Azkaban

I like it.

Sorry I haven't reviewed your other ones yet, I've been busy. I think this sums up Sirius perfectly, how he acts and feels. Good job!!!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sirius was another of JK's deep and complicated characters that leaves us so much room to explore :)


Her by Free_Elf
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Past Featured Story

Ron is trapped in his grief for Hermione, killed on the Horcrux hunt so many years ago. His memories take over as he goes through the same repetitive motions until he is lost in his emotions.

Post DH, AU, implied R/Hr. Character death.

Nominated in the 2012 Quicksilver Quills for Best Alternate Universe

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Profanity

Word count: 1862 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
08/21/11 Updated: 08/25/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 09/22/12 Title: Chapter 1: Her

Hello, Bec. :)

Wow. This was a powerful piece. I don’t normally read AU, but this was just wonderful. The characterization was brilliant, the emotion was raw, and I believed what had happened was plausible.

During the entire piece, there were these little details that Ron noticed (and I absolutely loved). You mentioned the smell of the fungi, and Hermione’s perfume, and just the smell of her. I think these details really made the piece. It showed how much Ron loved her, instead of just saying that he did. I also really liked the clock, and how it ruled Ron’s life. It was important when Hermione died, and then it was the center of Ron’s life. That connection was really clever.

I find that Ron is a hard character to write normally, and I couldn’t imagine writing a grieving Ron. :) You did a brilliant job with it, though. I could just feel how much Ron misses her, and you covered all of the emotions of grief: the crushing sadness, the anger, the self-blame, and the regret. The part with Hermione and the photograph was just beautiful. I was hoping that it was all a joke; that Hermione hadn’t died. I love how you had Ron run away- he doesn’t deal with these things very well or privately, and I think it was very possible that without Hermione he would abandon Harry. I also really liked how you included Harry subtly, but too much of the piece wasn’t centered on him. I find that too often he creeps into almost every piece, and I loved how you kept the focus on Ron and Hermione.

One thing I really was not sure on, though, was the AU aspect of this piece. It was explained a bit, but I wasn’t sure if Harry, Ron, and Hermione were ambushed by Death Eaters or Ron and Hermione had run away. It took me a few times reading that bit to really figure out that they had abandoned him. It would have been nice if there was some explanation to why they ran away, because I really don’t think that Ron (or Hermione) would abandon Harry, especially after Ron did the first time. Otherwise, I could really see this story happening. Hermione’s death was very well done- I love how Ron froze. It just made it so much sadder.

That being said, it really was a beautiful piece otherwise, Bec. I loved how you never used Ron or Hermione’s names- somehow that would have dulled the raw emotion for me. It was obvious who they were, but I think not using their names really worked for this piece. The first person fit well, too- it was like I was in the moment with Ron. At times it was almost uncomfortable because the emotion was so raw; it was like I was intruding on a private moment. :) That was amazing.

This really was a brilliant, beautiful, and poignant piece. Congratulations on being featured, because this piece definitely deserves it. :)


Author's Response: Ellie! Thank you so much for such an incredible review! I'm glad you enjoyed it, even though it was outside your comfort zone a little :) The little details were the most fun part of writing this, and pretty much the whole point. It seems to me that memories are so often tied up with the little details. The clock was actually the first thing that got the plot bunny going. I usually find Ron hard to write, so it's always very relieving to know that other people can find my characterisation believable. And, yes, Harry does so often creep in everywhere! Being so long since I wrote this, I had to go and reread it to check on the AU bits and even I'm not entirely sure anymore where I was coming from with the running away business. I think it was just one of those things that took a slight detour between my brain and the keyboard ;) But anyway, thank you again for such a fantastic review, I'm so pleased to know that it worked for you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :D


The Truth in the Lie by minnabird
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Past Featured StorySalazar has never hesitated to do whatever is necessary to achieve an end, but he starts to question his own wisdom when a plan to put Godric out of his lovesick misery goes awry. At least, he tells himself, neither Helga nor Godric will ever know the full story.

Nominated for Best General Story in the 2012 Quicksilver Quills Awards

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1642 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/09/11 Updated: 10/15/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 12/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Oneshot

Overall, I really loved this one-shot. I love the idea of Helga/Salazar, and you portrayed that really well. I also really love it when people show a different side of Salazar, not just as the 'evil guy'. You did this really well, especially with the excerpts like this:

There’s no sign of it on his face, but Helga remembers the twists of smoke rising from the remains of the hall, witches and wizards lying dead in their ruined homes, and Salazar staring out over the scene with sorrow in every line of his face. His home, destroyed by Muggle warriors. There had been no time to call for friends then; no way to Apparate out when he was needed to fight.

The violence gives Salazar a reason to not be trusting, and I think using it as the premise for the new spell is wonderful. Salazar is tricky, because, well, he did prefer pure-bloods and he created the Chamber of Secrets, but I love the idea that he wasn't all bad. You did that really well. I love the whole idea of him feeling emotions and love towards others, as Slytherins are most often not seen as the ‘caring’ type.

Some of the conversations seemed a bit off to me, though. It's something about the idea of the Godric and Salazar talking about Helga that didn't seem to sit completely right with me. Salazar does not seem the type to expose all that in a dialogue, as he strikes me as a secretive type of man. The first kissing scene was confusing, but I loved how you explained it all later. I found it confusing because it was Godric, yet I knew from the previous scene Salazar cared for Helga. I believe you did that on purpose, and if you did you definitely reached the desired effect.

I happened across one small grammar mistake: In the fourth paragraph of the first kissing scene you say ping instead of bring. It’s nothing big, just a small typo.

The really only major flaw with this is that Helga didn't tell Salazar she knew it was him. I can't see Helga, who, supposedly, is open, trusting, and accepting, would keep that from him. Just because she is a Hufflepuff it doesn’t mean she can’t lie, but I really do not believe she could go all of those years without telling him. A few months or even a year, maybe, I could see Helga not telling Salzar, but not as long as you put it in your story. Maybe you did this to add suspense?

One quote that I don’t think I could ever forget about, and probably my favorite of the story, is this:

Her lips on his are bliss. The heat that blazes between them almost eclipses the fire in the hearth, and it’s all he can do to draw peath between kisses. She pulls away first, and he says, “I might have to kill Godric for monopolizing your attention. Although that doesn’t explain the last four years.”

She laughs and pulls him towards her by the front of his robes, and he finds himself tumbling to the floor with her, not at all minding the lack of dignity. “Be quiet, if you please, and kiss me,” she says through a laugh, and he obeys happily.

This seems simply magical to me. As I said before, I love Helga/Salazar, and I think it really characterizes them both well. This was my favorite part of the story, and it just seemed magical.

This was really good, and I thought you captured the Founder's era very well. I hope you write more Helga/Salazar!


Winter by Padfoot11333
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 8]


He says when you gonna make up your mind?

When you gonna love you as much as I do?

Cause things are gonna change so fast

I tell you that I'll always want you near

You say that things change my dear

Boys get discovered as winter melts

Flowers competing for the sun *

Lily Evans and Severus Snape are best friends. Right?

Severus Snape and James Potter are worst enemies. Right?

But what happens when Lily has to make up her mind? What happens when she can no longer put up with Severus, and she can no longer ignore James?

Things change, and that's what Lily has to discover. But what else she discovers is that many things stay the same. And she can't decide what should stay and what should go.

*Lyrics taken from Winter by Tori Amos

Categories: Severus/Lily Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 2479 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
10/31/11 Updated: 12/08/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hey Lily! This is really good! I like how she's annoyed with them, but it's not the cliché full out screaming match. Your personification of her is really good. (I'm proud to be the first review of the story)

There are some weird ? things throughout the chapter, and I'm not sure what symbols they are supposed to be. I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep it up!

Author's Response: The symbols are part of the completely screwed up archives. Most of them are hypens, I believe. Thank you for the glowing praise, Ellie! I'm working on the next chapter (It's quite a bit longer than this first one) Lily


The First Howl by LoonyLupin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]


"A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night, may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright."

I was curious about what happened the day Remus Lupin was bitten and the night he transformed for the first time... this is the result.

One shot.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1221 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/10/11 Updated: 11/21/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 11/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Howl

I think this one-shot is unique. Most tell that when Remus was bitten it was agonizing pain, but I like how in your version it's different. I did, however, find a few issues.

This could just be me, but I always thought Remus was bitten at a younger age. Does J.K. specify it, or am I just being weird?

Also, the home-schooled thing. Couldn't wizards attend muggle school, as Harry did? Just something to think about.

For some odd reason I am in love with the last paragraph. It was the beginning of Remus's new life, and it really shows the (for lack of a better word) urges, instincts, if you will, of a werewolf. Good job, and keep it up!


Author's Response: I heard that school rule from at least one fan site, and they got their info from interviews with J.K. I don't think they specified his age. Thank you so much :)


What You Wanted by Padfoot11333
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: In Tom Riddle's first Christmas vacation at Hogwarts, he is lonely.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1041 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/12/11 Updated: 11/18/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 11/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: What You Wanted

Wow, Lily. I never thought about how Tom would find the room. And the bullying bit. . . that's pure genius. Some grammar stuff I found funky, but other than that it was really amazing!!!! Keep it up!!!!

Ellie (I'm humoring myself- you probably know me by now :)

Author's Response: Ha ha ha...unbetaed madness :) But thank you so much for reviewing! Now I feel guilty because I haven't reviewed your SUPER DEPRESSING ONESHOT yet lol. ~Lily~


Disillusioned by SaboteurVictory
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Lily Evans is practicing her Disillusionment Charm. The thing about being invisible, however, is that sometimes you hear things from people who don't realize you're there...

And sometimes, the things you hear might just change your mind. Maybe.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1268 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/14/11 Updated: 11/19/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 11/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: ...In the Library

I really liked this. It shows a unique way of changing Lily's view on James, though I do have to say her changing her mind quickly is on the verge of cliché. But you used it in a unique way, so that was really good.

On the invisible aspect: I thought that was brilliant. How Lily loved the idea of invisibility, because then she was finally alone.

Her realization at the end was also amazing. How she saw that James was going to fight Voldemort, and how she envied his eyes.

On the cliché note again: I like how at the end she isn't snogging James's face off. I like how it's just the beginning, and how she isn't all "OMG! I love him!"

All in all I really loved this. You should write another like it. :)


Author's Response: Thank you for the honest review!



This is crazy717 (Abi) of Gryffindor house writing for the final in the MWPP class on the Beta Boards.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2502 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
12/02/11 Updated: 12/10/11

Reviewer: iLuna17 Signed
Date: 12/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hey, Abi! I am here to see your final for the amazing MWPP class. (assuming you do not know this already)

I really liked this one-shot. I think it gives a different insight into the Marauders, especially Peter and his sorting. I honestly would have never have thought to have his dad be a Slytherin.

I also really loved how you portrayed Snape and his bitterness, especially in the last bit. My favorite quote would have to be from him. This one:

It should have been me. I was always there for her, I've always loved her. It should have been me.

I felt that it was perfect. It shows his feelings for her, yet it acknowledges that it isn't possible. But the thing that strikes me the most is the raw emotion in that quote. I found it simply . . . magical.

I also really enjoyed your progression of Lily's character, if that makes sense. I think you portrayed the journey from starry-eyed eleven-year-old to a strong, brilliant witch very well.

I did notice that the Sorting Hat was slightly choppy, when addressing the Marauders, Snape, and Lily. I find the hat extremely difficult to write, but I believe he's too. . . rushed, I believe the word is. Other than that, though, I really enjoyed the piece.

I really love the ending of the piece. I thought Lily's silent prayer to Severus was unique, and I really liked the twist. Even after they parted ways, she knew she could still trust him with something as important as her only son. The ending was perfect, Abi!

The class was amazing and I hope you had as much fun as I had.


Author's Response: Thank you for such a lovely review =) I hated writing the sorting, I couldn't get the hat right so yes I think you are correct in saying they were a bit rushed! I don't know why I always thought of Peters dad as a Slytherin, it's just something I've always had in my head. I had so much fun in class, our take overs were amazing and the discussions we had as a whole class were brilliant, we will definitely have to take another class together at some point =) ~Abi~

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