**Updates concerning chaptered stories**
Concerning A Weasel Canít Cry - I do intend on finishing this story because I see potential in telling the Weasleysí stories. It just may take longer than you may like.
Concerning Carry Me Home - Complete.
Concerning Hidden - It is now complete. After a long, hard journey, I finally finished it on July 18, 2007. No, there wonít be an epilogue because I think the ending pretty much closes off Lunaís story.
Concerning It Didnít Start This Way - Iím afraid updating this story is at the bottom of my priorities as of now. I really have no intention of finishing it since I had written it when I was so inexperienced in fanfiction.
Concerning Love, Luna - Iím actually very interested in continuing this story. Lunaís a character whom we can all enjoy a laugh with. Sheíll be answering all your questions soon.
Concerning Someone to Embrace - I wonít be updating this story as regularly as you may want me to. Iíve been overwhelmed with projects, but I assure you, itíll be complete one day.
Concerning When We Were Gods - I do intend on finishing this story, but right now, I lost the inspiration I had to write it. Do not fear; itíll be back.
A wonderful interview with the amazing Rita Skeeter. Last taken on August 9, 2007
Name?: I sign all my reviews with ĎMMí
Which House are you in?: Gryffindor though I did expect myself to be Sorted into Ravenclaw
Which HP book was your favorite book?: PoA
Why?: Sirius and Lupin intrigue me. Plus it was Harryís first insight on his fatherís cleverness (the Marauderís Map, Animagus, relation with Lupin)
What was your favorite part?: In PoA, it would have to be the Shrieking Shack scene with Sirius, Lupin, and Pettigrew. In the series as a whole, it would have to be ďSnapeís Worst MemoryĒ (OotP)
And why would that be? It serves as an insight to James and Lilyís relationship before marriage.
What fanfics do you read?: I used to read J/L fics only, but now Iíve expanded my horizons. Other Pairing is extremely interesting to read. I actually donít read that many canon pairings anymore.
Are you active on the MNFF forums? Yes. I am the former Gryffindor HoH, a former Summer School Professor and Student, a current moderator, a current member of SPEW, moderator of Fiction Junction, co-moderator of Character Clinic, and a current BETA guild member, .
HP Book or movie?: Books, hands-down. The movies were not well-directed in my opinion. I like directors to follow what the corresponding books dictate; authors have a reason for putting something this way or having a character established. By overlooking details and by taking out characters (or remaking characters), the movie, and then the book, is ruined.
Whatís so bad about the movies?: What I stated above. Sometimes, I feel that they make unnecessary cuts.
Favorite Character?: Ron. Heís just about the most easy-going character in the series. But thatís because heís ignorant or too scared most of the time xD
Who would Harry end up with?: Personally, I think Harry should end up alone for the rest of his life (if he defeats You-Know-Who) or die. But Rowling will probably put him with Ginny.
Have you written for any other site?: No but I am part of many other writersí sites. My penname for fictionpress is Mischevious Soul; youíll see me in the fantasy sections. My penname for fanfiction.net is Marauder by Moonlight (Yes, when I signed up here, I accidentally put ĎMidnightí instead of ĎMoonlightí). I also have an account ďMarauder by MidnightĒ on HPFF as well. The story there is the exact same one as the one here.
What categories do you moderate?: You can find me everywhere, but rarely in categories to trio romance. If you have a particular question about Alternate Universe or Mystery, Iím the one to go to :)
Why were you gone for such a long time? I had some health issues that took up a lot of my time. It was a choice between spending time on education or MNFF, and as much as I would love to choose MNFF, I needed to do well in school.
Talk about your stories and series a bit please?
1. It Didnít Start This Way
Status: On Permanent Hiatus
This is a J/L, dedicated to my first OTP. I have written about twenty chapters of it but have only posted a few because, frankly, I got a bit bored of it. I donít like it much, but if I find time to refine it, I will and continue posting due to the popular demand.
2. The Pigeon and the Phoenix
Status: Complete, one-shot
In relation to It Didnít Start This Way is a one-shot. I had prepared it for a chapter of my first story, but after I decided to put the story on hiatus, I couldnít bear to let this chapter rot. So I refined it and posted it as a one-shot. Iím pretty happy with it and love it to death. It was written in a moment of angst. Isnít it lovely how we can turn one moment of anger and despair to love?
1. Percyís Revenge
Status: Complete, one-shot
My eighth story (my, Iím on a roll after a long hiatus) is Percyís Revenge for the Gryffindor Joint Fic Project. It is allianced with my story Hidden as it describes the conflict inside Percy before issuing the infamous decree in Hidden. I love this story very much because it sheds light on damaging consequences of the death of Voldemort.
My fourth story, actually my third since I began writing it a while back is Hidden. My friend Poultrygeist challenged me to write a Draco/Luna piece since I said they looked like a couple. I never got the chance to finish my first chapter until recently. What started out as a one-shot turned into a lengthy plot bunny. Now, it is my baby.
3. A Weasel Canít Cry
Status: On temporary hiatus
This is another spin-off Hidden. Actually, more from Percyís Revenge. We found out that many of the Weasleys had died. But this story will go into more depth as to how they died, one chapter per Weasley.
4. Love, Luna
Status: On Hiatus
This is another story related to Hidden. I might actually have to hold this story off until Hidden is complete, but I really like this idea. Luna runs an advice column. Iíll take ďproblemsĒ given to me by readers and respond to them as Luna might. Itís very exciting to have an interactive story!
5. Walk Away
Status: Complete, one-shot
This story is related to Hidden only by a tangent and takes place during Dracoís search for his home as explained in the seventh chapter of Hidden. The story is dedicated to my friend Periwinkle who loves Draco/Ginny.
Gryffindor Spirit series
1. The Perfect Gryffindor Spirit
Status: Complete, one-shot
My fifth story is The Perfect Gryffindor Spirit in response to Bellatrix Black (from the forums) and her banner. It was an in-House challenge issued to the Gryffindors, and I couldnít pass up this opportunity to take a plot bunny and actually write it. Itís my first humor piece (though Iím still debating on whether to place it in General). Itís dedicated to all of the Gryffindors whom Iíve come to know over the months as their Head of House and a thank-you for their kind words and acts of appreciation toward me.
2. The Tooth of the Lion
Status: Complete, one-shot
Iím very proud of it since itís my first Foundersí story. It was written again for the July Gryffindor challenge in response to avenger_of_dumbldoreís banner. When I first saw the banner, I wondered how anyone could write a story about that. But then, once again with the help of the plot bunny, I found the story.
When We Were Gods
A sixth story is stirring in my brains. I barely have the plot, but slowly an epic is being born. Itís about the battle between purebloods (whoíd established themselves as gods in Ancient Egypt) and the Muggles, Muggle-borns, and half-bloods.
Status: Complete, one-shot
My seventh story. I originally planned on entering it in the June/July OC challenge, but issues came up, and I found I couldnít. So I changed the name of the main character and altered the plot. Behold, a one-shot about Travers, the man who allegedly killed Marlene McKinnon and her family. Iím very proud of it, as it is my first D/A story.
Follow the Leader
I lost count, but this is a recent story of mine. Part of a SPEW challenge, I had decided to delve into the character of Peter Pettigrew. As much as I hate him, I canít believe that no one can sympathize with him, if not in the beginning only.
Status: Complete, one-shot
My third story was in response to a challenge to write a Pince/Filch one-shot given to me by evanescence17 in the forums. I was taken over by an urge to write and, lo and behold! Bound was born. Itís not my best work, I can guarantee that, but ah, itís not horrible either.
Far From Here
My first trio romance as well as my first songfic. Two chapters - one before the last battle and one during.
Give Him a Mask
My entry for the SPEW Swap that takes place after Hogwarts and complies with Book 7 canon. Winner of the 2007 Mod QSQs Best-One Shot award.
Any stories coming up? Not at the moment!
In the Outside world
So what do you do in your free time?: I read. I write. I hang out with friends. I spend a lot of time in front of my computer; itís my bridge between the two worlds.
Favorite Food?: Currently food disgusts me. You may think itís anorexia, but itís not. I just... canít stand eating.
Favorite Male Character?: Iím completely and utterly in love with Edward Cullen from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. You may not believe it, but I sulked around for two weeks after reading the book because I thought Iíd never find anyone like him.
Favorite books?: You mean other than Harry Potter? Assassins of Tamurin, Lord of the Rings, Twilight.
I like anything fantasy so if you have any recommendations, I welcome them :)
Favorite movies?: Other than Harry Potter again? Lord of the Rings, various animated Disney movies, movie musicals.
Favorite authors?: Sophie Kinsella, Stephenie Meyer, Libba Bray, Nicole Galland. I do very light reading.
Favorite Pasttime?: Reading. Or out with my friends. And watching movies.
Future profession? Believe it or not, Iím not looking to become a writer in my future (har har). Iím going to become a doctor. Itís virtually set in stone.
If youíre not going to be a writer, why are you a moderator? I may not be a great writer, but Iím a pretty good editor. Iíd like to use my skill while I can to help others as well.
What would you like to change about yourself?: I am a very impatient person to a fault. And I tend to be very blunt. Both have led me to trouble.
How can anyone contact you? My email address is up there. Contact me that way. Or PM me on the forums. Same username. Email address once again is marauder[dot]by[dot]midnight[at]gmail[dot] com
Good job, everyone who's participated in this! You've truly shown everyone what it takes to be a Gryffindor!
Each story in this series has done well in showing that not only are we brave, we are also beautiful writers.
Job well done =)
-Bethany (proud HoH)
Summary: It's Harry, Ron, and Hermione's 6th year at Hogwarts. With a little romance, a little bit of Voldemort, a lot of the Mauraders, and the best DADA teacher since Lupin(and he's in it too). There are a lot of changes and a lot of trouble. Harry discovers his increasing doubt in his talent, Hermione remains overworked and ever loyal, while Ron struggles to find out what he really means in the story.
(This is an AU!Sixth Year Fic)
I promised I'd read it. Reviews are extra though ;) *just kidding* I can't read a SPEWer story without leaving a SPEWer review.
I'm sure a lot of these mistakes I'm going to point out right now will be corrected when you and your beta go back through the first few chapters like you told me you would :) But, just in case, I'll point out a few that were either glaring (they took away from the story itself) or subtle.
"Muggle" should be capitalized always. It's not a big issue but that's how canon is. *shrugs*
"Potions" should be capitalized as well, when Harry's talking about Potions homework, because it is a class.
Professor Dumbledore would not let him stay at the Weasley’s over the summer.
"Weasley's" should be "Weasleys' because it's a group of Weasleys.
Hermione woke up suddenly from sleep and looked at her alarm clock it was eight in the morning she loved being able to get up later than her usual five in the morning at school.
This chapter also had a few of these run-ons, quite like the one above. They were distracting, and I had a hard time deciding where the sentence ended and another one began. There were a few of them sprinkled here and there, but they're very easy to correct though.
Now for a bit of style. I liked how you were able to incorporate every member of the trio's point of view in this chapter. The letter exchanges also seem extremely Rowling-ish! The content of the letters weren't very strong though; the chapter could've done without the letters (though I do like including the letters). It may help if you added more sustenance to the letters, ie talking about things that had happened or hinting at something to come. Also, between the letters, the action seemed a bit passive; I didn't feel very drawn into the story and felt as though I was merely an observer instead of an active participant in the story.
Harry wonders why Dumbledore won't let him stay at the Burrow. Ron invites Harry to his place in his letter. Ron invites Hermione to the Burrow. Yet, somewhere in between, Harry talks about how he knows how lonely Sirius felt alone at Grimmauld's and how good it would be to see him again. Also, Hermione, too, expresses her excitement for visiting Grimmaulds. But I thought they were going to the Burrow.
Those corrections, plus a few more smaller ones (missing commas, etc), are it. Otherwise, I think your pacing is very good considering you incorporated Ron, Hermione, and Harry's point of views. That's a lot to cover, and an inadept writer would probably take FOREVER describing each of their thoughts. You did very well in picking out the necessities and discarding the rest.
On to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the critique, but I totally warned you this chapter is so out of date I worked on it for at least an hour, deleting and rewriting and I just sent it off to be bataed for the first time. There were a few things you mentioned I didn\'t catch and if Leslie doesn\'t see them I\'ll go through and fix them. Thank you for the kind words as well even though this chapter was a wreck. You are the only spewer to brave \"A 6th Year\" I hope you can wait until I can revamp the rest. Thanks again.
Hehe I liked this chapter a lot! Maybe it was just the fact that you introduced almost all my favorite characters at once. But, I thought a few things here that you talked about were ingenius. I'll point them out as we go along :)
"Marauders" is spelled incorrectly in the first paragraph. Not a big deal since we know what you're trying to say and since I'm sure it was just a typo. But, I did think it said "Murders" before I reread it and got it ;)
I'm not all that sure if Remus and/or Sirius had the guts to speak Voldemort's name so freely. Maybe they did and maybe I'm wrong. It would sound like the Marauders to be able to say his name without the annoying stuttering.
Numbers should be spelled out. "Sixteen years old." I don't know why; it's the way the writing gods have ordained it to be.
"Yeah, I know, and I’m sorry Moony, but I hate not being able to do anything," said Sirius as he sat back down.
Stupidly, when I read this, I thought, "Wow, deja vu." But then, I realised, it was part of OotP anyway. But I think it's clever how you brought this up; Sirius' helplessness was recurring in the fifth book and had led him to do what he did.
I notice the switch between calling Remus "Remus" and "Lupin." Then I realised that in the books, Harry refers to Remus as Lupin quite a few times yet he calls Sirius Sirius. How odd. So I suppose there isn't anything I can say about it for this story (though Harry also referred to Severus as Snape).
I don't think "Headquarters" needs to be capitalised.
"I knew who it was before he knocked, "replied Sirius coldly, "you can smell him a mile away."
This line made me giggle. Very nice line and VERY Sirius! The general exchange between Sirius and Snape was great and very in character for the both of them. The tenseness between the two was almost tangible.
he finished with a rye smile.
"Rye" doesn't make sense in this sentence. I think it should be "dry." However, the fact that Snape smiled was a bit creepy. It cut the flow a bit; imagine a clipped conversation between two enemies and one of them smiles. Doesn't seem to fit. Unless, of course, there are other plans here that we don't know about and Snape is smiling in a mysterious way.
Snape's character, however, at the end of the story seemed a bit iffy. That's got to be the most bewildered I've ever seen Snape. Sure, I'm sure he's shocked quite a couple of times, especially in the books, but he's always kept that cool demeanor about him. It surprised me when he started squeaking in a high-pitched voice (though albeit, that is funny!). And the way Sirius seemed to take on Snape's character was quite ironic! I can almost imagine Sirius proudly rubbing it in Snape's face.
By the way, I like the explanation and the details Dumbledore came up with. It does very well in explaining why Sirius can come back to teach and why he should. Too often, big things like this go unexplained or are not satisfactory. Good job!
This will be my last review for tonight. I have a test to study for but I'll be back tomorrow!
Author's Response: *giggles* This chapter was so much fun, the whole feel of it was magnificent I love all of these guys and together a scene is priceless. I haven\'t gone through this chapter again but I\'ll look at Snape again, you\'re probably right. I think I have gotten better at writing him in recent years. Again I really appreciate it, I\'ll look at those things when I go through that chapter soon. You\'re amazing.
Chapter 6 is 40% complete
Don't know how I managed to overlook this story :/ hmm... Anyway, great little scene in the beginning with Sirius and James. Seems like filler material though xD I'm sure it'll be used by the end eh? Great scene with the pumpkin patch. Honestly, will you have Lily kissing James in every chappie? not that I'm complaining ;) Update soon -MM
Nice chapters :) It's getting quite interesting. I must say that block paragraphs (huge, long paragraphs) are hard to read online since it hurts the reader's eyes. Perhaps you can cut it down a bit?
Cute :) Can't wait to see what Lily's in for now... I'm sure James will gain control of her little game anyway. Update soon
Summary: I'm sorry guys but this story will no longer be updated. See my profiel for reasons etc.
Lovely lovely :) I'm glad Rose has someone too even if she wasn't particularly involved in the plot. Darn Pettigrew's up to something... I can smell that rat... Update soon! I've never read a story where Lily and James are all lovey-dovey like that. It's lovely but it doesn't seem to fit Lily's character. -MM
cliffhanger -_- evillsss.
Oh poor Lily. :( James seems so awesome in this chapter. So cute, lovable, and loyal. Sexy is always a plus as well. I just think - Maybe Lily fell in love with him too fast. They went out in the first month of school... Meh. I guess they're love isn't exactly THE plot in the story then? -MM
Author's Response: haha well it is actually the plot of the story. but you've gone ahead and stolen one of my later chapters! i won't say anymore than: yes, lily made a very rash decision when she told james she loved him...the decision will come back and bite her.
Summary: James is passionately in love with Lily, but she despises him. Each year things seem to get worse for the love sick boy. When he finally finds the courage to tell her the truth about how he feels, how will Lily react? Will her heart finally make a change?
Follow the two through each year at Hogwarts as hearts are wrenched, twisted, and finally touched as the two struggle to find the love they were destined forÖ
Last Chapter Added!
For update notification email me at: email@example.com
I hope you don't get tired of having lots of fans gushing about how wonderful your chapters are because that's all you'll ever get if you continue like this. Once again, I must post exactly how charming and attractive your James Potter is. *sighs* If only someone would make Lily undeserving of him and I could have him :K Ah well, you made it close. I don't think Lily deserves him here. How many chances did she have to apologize and she never took the initiative? Pretty proud, isn't she? ;) Update soon. I sincerely wish for them to get together; but only the strongest of forces can bring me to accept that Lily does deserve poor Potter's love here in this story - MM
Due to the fact that this chapter was by far the most heart-rendering chapter in your entire story, I forgive you O_O I hope Lily feels so bad, she commits suicide. Just kidding. But I hope she feels really really really bad. James is such a sweetie. Thanks for giving him such a lovely attitude. If it weren't for his love for Lily, I would want him all to myself. Me and my ridiculous notions. Anyway, I can't wait to see the event that will happen to Lily that will force James to come help. James in a Superman costume. That's it. Update soon! -MM
Oops first time I reviewed, it was for chapter 1. Sorry. Due to the fact that this chapter was by far the most heart-rendering chapter in your entire story, I forgive you O_O I hope Lily feels so bad, she commits suicide. Just kidding. But I hope she feels really really really bad. James is such a sweetie. Thanks for giving him such a lovely attitude. If it weren't for his love for Lily, I would want him all to myself. Me and my ridiculous notions. Anyway, I can't wait to see the event that will happen to Lily that will force James to come help. James in a Superman costume. That's it. Update soon! -MM
Lovely lovely story o.o Poor Potter. They better make up. And Lily better feel as horrible as ever. James should tell her off soon. She's acting just as bad as James :K Update soon!
Your second chapter didn't exactly explain the first chapter. But the first chapter was still quite beautiful.
This chapter was wonderful too. I like how you explain things so well with your metaphors and comparisons. It's very well-written as a whole and I must say I am very anxious to see where this is going.
Author's Response: haha yes well, at first, I had a completely different second chapter. I actually rewrote it over 5 times! Im sorry about that. I should delete that A/N. But anyway...thatnk you so much for reveiwing. Luckily I am moving much faster than I was in the beginning. Thank you for the nice reveiw!!
Summary: A cute little one shot I dreamed up. Remus Lupin finds a box of James' old poems and gives them to Harry to read.
Lovely poems O_O absolutely lovely. You wouldn't mind if I used one of them in my story would you? I'd give you credit.
My favorite was "Riddle Me This"
Author's Response: no i don't mind =] go ahead!
Summary: Memories of growing up both haunt and shape our destiniesÖ One person is the ďbeingĒ, while the other is the ďshadowĒ. As always, your thoughts are welcome and appreciated :-)
Soon the images came to him from his past like an unforgivable curse, unblock-able and unrelenting in its force.
What an incredible comparison! This sentence made me stop and reread.
“Hey weirdo!” yelled a boy who was crisply dressed and easily stood a foot taller. “Going to do any more maaagiiiiic today?” to the raucous cackling of his two friends.
Hmm I don't think anyone could've named what Harry could do before he was eleven. In the books, he seemed surprised to hear that he could do magic. If people kept teasing him that he could do magic, wouldn't he have reacted more in anger or in sadness, at least at first?
I don't think they have principals at the schools in Europe. Headmaster is the correct term. But you don't need to put (Principal) in parentheses. I also don't think Harry could've Apparated into the headmaster's office without anything happening to him bodily. Remember how hard Apparating is? Something probably would've gone wrong; the chances that he was able to Apparated perfectly without any control over his magic are very slim.
When we glimpsed Occlumency in OotP, it was implied that the person viewing was not able to feel the emotion of the person who's being subjected to Occlumens. The images were also merely flashes, not really a story timeline. I suppose for the purposes of a story, it was changed, but keep that in mind when you write another Occlumency scene. The only problem with this particular Occlumency scene is the ending where Voldemort seemed to get into the thoughts of the person he's seeing. Voldemort, throughout this chapter, is looking at the thoughts of the Harry in bed. However, in the end, Voldemort is looking at the thoughts of Harry pacing in his dorm who is in the thoughts of Harry in bed. Kind of confusing, I know, but does it seem likely that Voldemort's reach goes that far? If so, he would've been a lot more powerful and a lot more all-knowing than he is in the series.
Make sure you capitalize Muggle and Boy Who Lived.
I like the twist at the end when we realize that this entire story was actually from Voldemort's point of view instead of Harry's.
Nice beginning. Though I don't think Lily's dad would actually let his daughter(s) know that he "hates" her whining... Update soon -MM
haha great story. I'm glad you gave Neville a strong personality in the end where he finally stands up for himself (almost like in SS). However, I don't think Neville would say, "I don't care about flowers" since he's so excellent at herbology. I wanted to see Malfoy's reaction to it though xD Once again, excellent ^^ -MM
Author's Response: lol, If you look carefully, Neville says something like, "Well, actually I do like flowers, but not when YOU talk about them." Something like that. I can't remember. :) Thanks for your review.
In her seventh year at Hogwarts, Lily starts to feel she'll never find love. That is, until a familar looking masked man sweeps her off her ruleabiding feet. Pre-HBP, AU
Lovely lovely lovely. I just think it's a bit rushed. Your summary says that Lily came back to school, she didn't think she'll ever fall in love. you didn't show how she thought love was hopeless... it would've made the scene at the ball more dramatic.
Nice setting up for a new chapter. Cliffhangers are great!
One thing I'd like to comment on though is the unlikelihood of Lucius Malfoy being in Hogwarts at the same time as James and Lily. He was born in 1954 while the Potters were born 1960. Quite an age difference if you ask me =/ But no matter. It's just a trifle conflict.
I wish you would've added a bit more about James and Lily's tutoring sessions. Perhaps there is more to it than meets the eye. You've said Lily's been distracted by the masked man. But at the same time, has she drawn any closer to James?
Honestly can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: It's an AU story. I added the warning once I added Lucius into the picture :)
O_O you've got me hooked forever.
Just one question. If it was red underwear, would she really pick it up? >.<
Ugh, Lily is so indecisive o.o she told James she'd go out with him if his head deflated. It did and now she's hooked on his alter ego. Weird girl :K
Update really really soon please. Can't wait to find out what happened. -MM
Author's Response: I know, I know. Gross. You're surprisingly the first to comment on that! I had to think of something that would be offensive, red, and Marauder-like..that was about the only thing I could think of. Let's just say Sydney is a brave girl :)