Penname: Maple_and_PheonixFeather [Contact]
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Member Since: 08/08/10
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Status: Member
Bio:
I am a starving music student who spends more time with her piano than she does anything else.

Many of my stories overlap into each other, so here is a quick guideline as to what to read and in what order.

A Part of Me is a standalone poem, and currently the only poetry on my author’s page.

Crashing Down Around Me exists in its own universe. While I am rather proud of this fic and would love for you to take the time to read it, it contains a cousin pairing, as it was written with my friend in mind, who invented the pairing.

Crush is a chaptered prequel to my story Fly. Crush is chaptered and will be slowly updated. As such, you do not need to read the one to understand the other. They exist in the same universe and are more like companion pieces in this Next-Gen universe.

What the Stories Say and Happy New Year, Darling exist in the same universe. What the Stories Say is the first in this duo, though you do not really have to read it in order to enjoy Happy New Year, Darling, it simply makes certain aspects of it easier to understand.

Lucky and Tongue-Tied together create a full story of Lily and Scorpius’ lives. It is probably best to read Tongue-Tied first, though both could be read alone or even in the opposite order.

Rebound is a single story written for ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor for her birthday.

Realisation was my first fic and was written for a fic exchange for FawkesToTheRescue. It stands alone.

I’m Moving On is more of a introspective character study than anything else. Someday, I hope to complete it.

Unspoken, Lost in the Stars, and Casts all exist in what I call the Andrew universe. The complete story of Andrew is yet to be told, but these three in themselves create a small story arc. Unspoken and Lost in the Stars could be read alone, but Casts will make no sense without reading the other two.

Today is Victory Day is a fic in itself. It started off as a drabble and grew to be so much more. In the last few months, it has become the pride of my author’s page, and I would love if you took the time to read this one.
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Reviews by Maple_and_PheonixFeather
 

On the Wings of Scarlet and Gold by lucca4
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary:

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

A war is brewing in the Wizarding world. Hogwarts is not the safe haven it used to be. Students are beginning to consider the unthinkable, desperate to save those they love. The corridors are filled with eager spies who are too young to realise the severity of their decisions.

In the midst of it all, the Marauders are closing in on their last year of schooling. James is learning that letting go is sometimes the only way to move forward. Lily discovers that what she was looking for all along is right in front of her, while Sirius and Remus struggle to keep the group together, each in their own way. And Peter begins to realise that he can be more than a tiny piece of a large puzzle, perhaps the most dangerous epiphany of all.

Sides must be taken, a war must be fought, and prices must be paid—some higher than others. Choices are made that will undoubtedly change the course of the future. And from this darkness, the phoenix must rise.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 7329 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
09/09/10 Updated: 10/28/10


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 10/02/10 Title: Chapter 2: Confusing Conversations

Ariana,

This is a fantastic start to what I expect will be an amazing fic!!

What I really found intriguing were the little nuggets of forshadowing goodness you put in...the thing about Peter selling James for a cake, Sirius's favourite subject being Defence, and Snape trying to save Lily. I don't know if these will play into your story, but for canon, they are terrific forshadowings.

I definately think that the way you had all the characters react to Snape was absolutely perfect.

I think that your characterization of Lily, Snape, Peter, and Lupin are dead on, especially Peter being all unrecognizable without the others, that was good. I also like how you portrayed James, giving him a chance to be serious.

I kind of found Sirius's angry characterization slightly overdone in the first chapter at first, however I could see where he was coming from, being all concerned that he was losing his friendship. In the second chapter, however, I thought your characterization was dead on and I could definately see Sirius writing answers like that. :)

Overall, I think that this fic is excellently written and is destined for great things.
Good luck with the rest of the story :)

~Maple

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you liked it so far! :) The bits of foreshadowing are one of my favorite parts to do, especially the Peter selling out James (I'm glad somebody caught that!) because I have issues with portraying Peter nicely, as I really, really hate him. Thanks for commenting on the characterization, I'm glad they're all nicely In Character. I don't think Sirius's outburst went over very well with lots of people, but the way I see it he feels he needs to show James that Lily isn't perfectly angelic. Especially because with her dating Matthew, it doesn't look like she and James will get together any time soon (but we'll see how *that* turns out!) :) Thank you so much for reviewing!!

 

Barely There by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Dean Thomas felt like his soul had been ripped out when he survived the Battle of Hogwarts and his best friend did not. Grief-stricken, his brain simply couldn't wrap around what meant anything to him anymore, but the unlikeliest of heroines pulled him from the brink and maybe saved herself along the way.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 3906 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/28/10 Updated: 10/31/10


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 06/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello again Jess! You must be getting tired of all the emails you are getting my reviews :P So I decided that I'm actually going to give you a full legnth humungous review, or at least try to, as I don't usually do good reviews :P

What I loved about this fic is that it took me from wanting to cry to grinning like a madwomen in a matter of seconds. First of all, the use of Hestia’s character was extremely well done and very funny (at least to me). Next, I enjoyed how it went from being a seemingly dark fic to a very happy one at the end. I feel as if the pace was very natural, as they built up to the final snog at the end, and so I was able to root for the final get together throughout the fic, and not just have it shoved in my face at the very beginning. Also, I found myself lured in, even though there was a character death warning (which I usually avoid), and it wasn’t quite what I expected. The odd thing was, that while I would never go out of my way to find this pairing, the end left me wanting more.

I loved the character of Hestia Jones. I found her very real, as not only was she happy and funny, but she also held a darker side to her. This makes her very real, as instead of making her some absolute happy bunny, you made her three dimensional, while still keeping what was your original intention (or what I believe was original intention) of the fic intact. As well, I’ve always imagined Hestia Jones as some old woman, so your ability to completely change my image of her without going “um, what?” was excellent. What really impressed me was your depiction of Dean. Your ability to believably write a teenager, and a teenage boy at that really impressed me. I especially found that the last paragraph really channelled into the mindset of a teenager, for even though he doesn’t know everything about what is happening, he knows that this is what he wants now. I thought you channelled teenage boy amazingly well, and I tip my hat to that.

I thought that this story flowed very well for the most part, though I was slightly confused as to what was going on between Hestia leaving him and the whole Harry showdown thing. However, your ability to make a week pass so smoothly was fantastic, for I didn’t find anything rushed at all, and it felt very natural. I found your POV highly effective in depicting the story, and I was very impressed on how everything worked together throughout the fic. Your style in this fic was very straight forward and just like a story. I enjoyed that there was description, but not so much that it made me want to scream, and that there was dialogue, but yet enough narrative. The whole narrative just seemed so balanced, and I loved every minute of it.

Finally, I noticed a small little typo. Hestia says “Come, talk a walk with me,” when I think you mean her to say “come take a walk with me”.

This was another fantastic read, and I enjoyed it very much :)

~Maple

Author's Response: Quite the opposite, my dear. I love getting reviews that make my forcibly longer night brighter. And you, my dear, have done. I'm glad that you enjoyed the Dean and Hestia dynamic. There is a general perception that Hestia is old, but canonicallt, all that can be,said of her in terms,of,appearance is that she's pink cheeked and does not appear older than Tonks. That's all I need to make her my own. Anyway, typing this out on my phone really sucks, so I will just leave youwith a giant sqee and a thank you for your continued support. heart ~Jess

 

Summary: Ron proves his comedic mettle to a sceptical Fred. Completely AU silliness. Rated for very mild language.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1812 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/05/10 Updated: 12/06/10


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 02/13/11 Title: Chapter 1: Did You Hear The One About ..?

Aw, poor Ron.

I thought that this offered quite a few funny punchlines, and I felt that it was quite in character.

 

Of Weasleys and Malfoys by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Four moments from their life that brought them together.

This is Dinny's Christmas present for the 2010 Gryffindor Swap. And this is not what J.K.Rowling has been working on, no.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 3824 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/10 Updated: 12/27/10


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 12/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I don't read next gen...ever, but this was really cute. I liked how you managed to stuff 4 years into a one-shot and make it totally believable. I really suck at reviewing, but I'll try and give you a good one :P

II liked your characterization of the characters, especially Scorpius. i just looked back, and I realized that you barely mention their names, but you know exactly who they are. That's awesome :)

The plot moved along very nicely as well. There were a few sentances where the wording made me go huh? :S but I understood it with the writing around it. Overall, this fic was really adorable, and I think you did a great job. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh! I wonder which sentences they were. Ill reread and alter them if I find them.

Its nice to hear people liked my story; its nicer to know when the story wasnt even something theyd normally read. :D Thanks for the review!

~Natalie

 

Swimsuit Quidditch by Northumbrian
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 50]

Summary:
It is Ginny’s twentieth birthday, and she wants to play a game with Harry.


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2314 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/17/11 Updated: 01/18/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 02/13/11 Title: Chapter 1: Swimsuit Quidditch

This is actually so funny!

I thought the reactions of the characters were totally perfect given the situation. I especially loved it how George was the one who found it completely hilarious, because I actually think he would find it funny. Given what we know from all of the characters from the books, I think that they all reacted perfectly. Percy being horrified, Charlie being protective, and Ron being, well, Ron.

I find that this story perfectly exemplifies Ginny's fiery side that we do see in canon. I'm impressed that you can make such a hilarious story without completely remaking the characters and slapping an AU warning on it (I hate that!). I think that this story shows exemplary writing skills.

Great job!
~Maple

Author's Response:
Thanks for the review.

I always try to keep to canon characterisations. Not everyone thinks that they are in this story. Ron, Im sure, will be well used to his best friend and his sister flirting. Ginny wont have given him any choice. That doesnt mean that he likes it. I agree with your assessment of the others. I toyed with the idea making Bill even more protective, but instead I decided to let Fleur intervene.

I think that Ginnys fiery side is something which draws Harry to her. Thank you.

-N-

 

Teaching Hermione by asrielle
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Professor Lupin and Hermione spend some time together doing what they do best - teaching and learning - when Hermione asks Lupin to teach her how to do a Memory Modification Charm.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2099 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/13/11 Updated: 02/16/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 02/25/12 Title: Chapter 1: Teaching Hermione

I think that this is a very sweet teacher/student moment. I have always loved interactions between Hermione and Remus, so this innocent little scene is lovely. I think that you have Remus’ patience and dedication to his students characterized quite well, and I think that the small detail of Hermione being a detail oriented person was quite clever. Overall, this is definitely a very cute little story.

Maple

 

Summary: It wasn’t supposed to happen, not like this…not with him. But it did, and since every love story has a beginning, I might as well show you mine.

Categories: Hermione/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 543 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
02/22/11 Updated: 03/03/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 02/25/12 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

Hello! I definitely think that this fic has promise, and as a Fred/Hermione shipper, I can hope that though it’s been a year, you may someday come back to this. Actually, I was just talking to someone about how I had yet to find a Fred/Hermione fic on MNFF!

I like how this sounds like a memoir. I think that Hermione telling it in such a way could lead to some very interesting situations later on in the description. I did find it odd that Hermione referred to herself as part of the “Golden Trio”, but it definitely not anything major.

I think your prologue acts well as a prologue, because it definitely draws the reader in, and makes them want to read more.

Maple

 

Listen by Ars Letalis
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Luna isn't a pretty girl who plays Quidditch. She's just a quirky little thing who loves the color orange and hearing stories; luckily, she's a very good listener. One-shot, LL/FW, character death.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 5102 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/05/11 Updated: 03/16/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 12/29/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

First of all, I really enjoyed this story. I thought it was beautiful and it made me want to cry at the end, which is good, given that I am not a person who is easily brought to tears.

I like the idea of Luna being someone who just listens. This would explain her insight into a lot of things, as she often picks up on unusual things and comments on them in canon. Another good thing you did was have Luna and Cho as not really friends. I have never really seen them getting along, so to have Cho use her as someone to talk at, but never to was a very good thing to do, in my opinion. I also really enjoy her little tidbits of wisdom. It’s definitely Luna-like. She is also blunt, as we have seen her before, which is good. I find that Luna can be quite hard to write, and you appear to have her written quite well. She is not too over the top quirky, and yet she isn’t dull. You have managed to create a very balanced character.


I thought that Harry bridged into OOC a bit. For example, his comment of “and my Uncle is a Blast-Ended Skrewt” was a little too harsh, as he has been nothing but kind to Luna in canon.

I thought your Fred was very nicely done. He was funny enough, but you really brought out the more serious side to him, which was very good. He was completely lovable.

I really enjoyed the moment when Luna calls Fred “Ginny”. After a rather serious opening, the comic relief is nice without being overbearing, and the conversation sounds natural.

Overall, I really liked the pace of the story. I think that it covers the years without being horribly rushed. I really liked how at the end, you managed to get an emotional response from me. One that was both very, very sad, and very angry at the same time. Excellent job.

I thought Luna’s thoughts on fancying someone was interesting, and to a certain extent, it makes sense for her. A lot of Luna’s thoughts felt very weird, yet natural, really.

I think that one of the greatest strengths of this story is how you made the pairing believable. The progression of their feelings towards each other has a very natural pace to it.

Overall, this was a lovely read, and you have created a new OTP for me :)

~Maple~

Author's Response: Sorry for not replying sooner; it's been months since I logged in here and I honestly forgot about it, haha. Firstly, thanks very much for the kind words. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and had so many good things to say about it. :) As for the criticism on Harry, yes, I completely agree. Admittedly that was the part of the story I put the least effort into, and it really shows. I'd rewrite the whole scene if I had the time and motivation to, but alas, I have neither. So! I greatly appreciate the feedback, and I hope you have a lovely day/week/year. :)

 

Hell's Bells by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 34]

Summary:

It was the worst news a father could receive: his son was marrying his worst enemy's daughter.

But for Draco Malfoy, being in the role of the reasonable parent was in itself a debacle as he tried to make the best of a bad situation. But when circumstances forced him to spend more time than he ever cared to with the most irritating Mudblood on the planet, he constantly questioned his sanity, as well as that of his son.

However, Draco might have come to realise that things change, as well as people. Is Hermione Granger Weasley the mad bint he remembered, or were they both a little different this time around?



A Dra-Comedy. 



This story has been nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Non-Canon Romance.

This story has also been nominated for a 2014 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Humour Story.

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Dubious Consent, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 16334 Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/19/11 Updated: 11/10/13


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 05/31/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I really need to stop reading your fics when I'm really not in a good state to review, but here I gooo :P

So far, I find the plot very believable. By putting them in a situation where they have to try and work together, I feel as if you are effectively creating a whole tonne of tension. The sexual tention is also well played and extremely believable, as one, Draco is one sexy boy, and two I could totally see Draco as a boob guy. Also, I felt very proud of myself for noticing that Lily was pregnant before Draco did.

What I really liked about this was how much it made me laugh. Like the premise is completely dispicable (infidelity), and yet I am fiding this highly enjoyable and hilarious.

Author's Response:

To me, Draco's most redeeming quality is his snark and the amount of joy it brings me to write it. While I doubt you'll ever read Brazen, that's where I first discovered my love of Draco being a cad, and I've loved the idea ever since. I've tried to graft some of that onto this story with some decent success.

I do freely admit that this story is quite unenjoyable for me to write, but only because I find Dramione about as plausible as Snamione, which is to say not at all, lol.But, it can be fun to step outside my box here and there and write some fluffy stuff. 

Anywho, end ramble. I'm glad you enjoy it, and hopefully you enjoy the thrilling (cough) conclusion once I can be bothered to write one. Cheers!

~Jess

 

Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary:

It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision was made for him, he allowed himself to be tricked into grooming his replacement. However, coaching proved to be a completely different animal, especially when the untried and unbridled Roxanne Weasley pushed his limits every step of the way.

 

This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Non-Canon Romance.

 



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 10227 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/21/11 Updated: 03/22/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 05/29/11 Title: Chapter 3: Just Say Yes

Someday I will leave you a fantastical review but today I'm too :O at reading this (and actually finishing a Jess fic) that I just can't even get the brainwaves to actually give a good review going. I thought that this was fantastic (I love cross-gen relationships). I loved how your really didn't describe Oliver, meaning I could picture him however I wanted, and that you gave just enough description of Roxanne. The profanity was also handled really well, as it wasn't in your face, but integrated in such a way that it was believable, and as it would be normally. This was a wonderful fic, in all.

Author's Response:

Hehe, I was surprised you got past the swearing, but being in tune with the world of athletics, I can tell you for sure that there is farrrrrrrrrr more cussing amongst athletes than pictured here, lol.

About their relationship, I wanted it to be sort of hinted at in the beginning, but still be an oh-em-gee moment when they do finally let the sparks fly. They're both intense people, and it makes for some even more intense fic. 

Thanks for reading, dear, and I'm glad you liked it. :D

~Jess

 

Summary:

Susan Bones had far too much time over the summer to think about her Aunt Amelia's murder, but one of these nights of contemplation gave her inspiration to pay homage to her slain family members from both the First and Second Wizarding Wars..

 

This fic is a giant Happy Birthday to Minna/minnabird. I know you like Susan Bones, so here's hoping I can bring you a smile on your special day. :D



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2276 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/23/11 Updated: 03/23/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 06/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello Jess!

What an interesting piece! It was very unique, and I really enjoyed reading it.

I loved the opening paragraph of this story. In those few lines, so much information as to many aspects of the story are given, which is really neat. From it, I gleaned information about the setting (Susan’s room is, for the most part, orderly), the characters of Susan and Prudence, and a bit of what this story is going to be about from the artful description of the swirls.

It was really effective that you followed the opening paragraph with the painting and why Susan is painting. It really helped connect the idea of the swirling ceiling with what’s going on in Susan’s head. That being said, I found this paragraph to be slightly confusing on the first read with all the aunts and uncles and cousins. I found myself wondering how Susan’s cousin would have started Hogwarts at the same time as her as Aunt Amelia didn’t die until later in the series and doesn’t appear to be married. It wasn’t until the names of the other families were mentioned that I really understood what was going on.

One of the most interesting things about this piece is how well it connects to the real world. The idea of Susan picking up art as a means to forget the pain she has experienced with the loss of so many people in the family.

One of the greatest things about this story is Susan’s characterisation. Firstly, you have managed to completely characterise a character we really don’t see that much of in a very realistic way. As I was reading, there was no point where I doubted that this was Susan. This is especially important in a piece about a minor character, as if the character is dull or unbelievable, no one will hang on for the completion of the story. Another great thing about your Susan is how relatable she is. When she didn’t want to complete her flowers, I felt a deep connection to my own art (well, music) in that I don’t ever want to work on exercises or technique. With this, you managed to draw me further into the story, not just in the plot and characterisation, but to the level of personal connection.

Giving each of the dead family members a character was really amazing. It was great how you were able to simply describe Susan’s picture and give a full representation of the character. Even before Prudence brings the portrait to the animator, you have given them life with a few short sentences.

The dialogue in this fic felt very natural to me. There was no point where I found it to feel forced, shallow, or empty. What I loved most about it was the real mother-daughter feel that was portrayed. I could really feel the mother-daughter connection, and I really connected with it at a highly personal level.

Lastly, I really loved the idea of the animator. It was definitely a really cool way to explain the moving portraits in the Wizarding World. I thought it was really clever how the portrait wasn’t clear enough for them to talk, and I could totally see this being how it worked in the Wizarding World. I may have to steal this sometime.

Overall, I think that this fic really shone in terms of creativity. It is definitely something I have never seen before, and I am very glad I stumbled upon it.

Maple

 

Looking Forward by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Lily Potter is getting ready for her last year at Hogwarts, shopping with her cousin in Diagon Alley. She is not particularly excited for the coming year until a chance encounter with a friend from her childhood changes her outlook. Suddenly, seventh year doesn't look so bad.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3, Next Generation.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 3883 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/17/11 Updated: 04/17/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 06/15/13 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

Hello Gina,

This is exactly what I needed to read tonight. A light hearted, care free, cutesy story about a guy and a girl who get together one day. It was just perfect for my mood. It's like a good chick flick in written form. It made me happy and giggly, but best of all, left me with those happy tingles that only a well written fluffy romance can give you.

I think that the biggest reason that I was so happy to have found this story was because it was so easy for me to relate to Lily. She was everything I was at that age - bookish, rule abiding, not into sports, and always single. You also really opened Lily up in a way that made it easy for the reader to really delve into her head and understand who she is and where she's coming at. As a character, she was likable and believable. All her fears were just laid out plainly, so it was easy to really get into the story.

The development of Lily's and Brian's relationship was not deeply explored in this fic, but it didn't need to be. We know that they were old friends who drifted apart and who managed to bump into each other and go for a walk to catch up. While I might roll my eyes at this sort of plot normally, I was captured by this one. You managed to create a back story without being so obvious and beating the fact that they were friends into our head. Rather, you gave a little back story then used their conversations to bring them together. I think my only complaint (in the whole story really) is that I would have loved to see more interaction between the two before they kissed. It felt a little sudden to me, and I was disappointed that I didn't get the chance to see them interact more, because it was so cute and felt so real.

Brian is a real joy to read. He's just so lovely and everything that makes a guy wonderful. He's just so chill and smart and you wrote him in such a way that I was feeling totally attracted to him, even though we only get to know him for a few thousand words. I was rooting for the two to get together simply because of who Brian appears to be. The best way I can put this is that I was so sold on this character that I wasn't even upset that Teddy had a kid because I just wanted Lily to be with Brian, even though it meant defying my own OTP. I really loved how you left out who exactly he was until the very end. It helps eliminate any preconceived notion we might associate with a child of Neville, but it also makes perfect sense that it would be a child a Neville, because who else would they grow up with? While a more attentive reader might pick it up with the broken wrist comment and some of the mentions to their childhood, I loved the pleasant surprise at the end.

One of my favourite aspects of this story is the interactions between Lily and Roxanne, and Lily and her mother. Roxanne is the perfect, stereotypical chick flick friend. She's close to Lily and understands her, but they are very different from each other. You managed to take the friend type that we would expect from this sort of story and really worked with it to make it feel original and natural. I wasn't rolling my eyes at the clicheness of it all, rather, I took her as a sort of foil to Lily. At the same time, Roxanne is the friend you love because she just knows what you want. In this instance, Roxanne contrasts Lily's mum. While both of them knew that Lily wanted to be alone with Brian, Roxanne let Lily go in a much more subtle way, while Ginny did the typical mum thing. In the moment where Ginny is dropping hints about Lily and Brian, I could feel Lily's annoyance and embarrassment because it is a mum thing to do. I know that my mum has dropped hints about boys (more boys I didn't want to be with), so I could relate to Lily in a very practical way because I've been there.

Overall, this story just made me smile, which was excellent. It's very easy to get tied up in so called "meaningful" literature that I forget that it's sometimes nice just to relax with a light, feel good fic.

~Maple

 

Summary:

Hufflepuff Albus Potter was a firm believer that it was a fact of nature and a rite of passage to torment one's sibling. And who better than his nerdy, Ravenclaw little sister? Her messy hair and stupid pile of books... she so had it coming.

But Lily had other ideas.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3884 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 06/15/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Jess and Olivia,
This story was a lot of fun to read and really showed some exemplary features. The creativity behind this fic and the ability for the reader to connect with the characters made it something that I actively read through, rather than just skimming and forgetting about it.
While this wasn't a fic that relied heavily on characterisation to make it work, you made both Al and Lily fleshed out characters that were unique and interesting. I think the selling point for me was that you took two characters whom my head canon states as Gryffindors, put them in houses I never even considered for them, and I bought it. One of my biggest pet peeves in fanfiction is authors putting students into houses and then the character displays none of the house qualities. Here, it wasn't so. They displayed house qualities straight from the get go, so I went with it.
The real magic behind this fic comes from the interaction between Lily and Albus. Anyone who has a sibling can relate to the relationship we see between the two siblings. As the oldest sibling, I found it easy to relate to both siblings, not just Lily, especially due to the fact that my brother is much bigger than me. This is what made this story so fun for me. As an older sibling I could relate to Albus's philosophy that "it’s basically my duty to make her as miserable as she makes me.” While I certainly love my siblings, there are times where I just need to jerk their strings, just because they are my younger siblings, and they annoy me all the time in some shape or form. That being said, I know what it's like to be where Lily is, and just feeling done with my brother's antics and needing some way to get him back. You really managed to touch on the almost mean side of a bigger brother, which is something I could understand. Because I could relate to both siblings, I enjoyed reading both points of views, and cheered for both of them, but also flinched for both of them.

Another aspect of the story I found particularly relatable is the mention of the book. You gave Albus this keepsake that was so important to him, which is something that I know I understand, and then you rip it away from him and have us think that Lily destroyed it. While we know that Albus was a jerk earlier on, it still seems so extreme that Lily would destroy something that was so important to him, so for that moment, I felt angry and sad, similar to what Albus was feeling. In that moment, I imagined what it would be like for my sibling to do that to me, and I felt that it was extreme and mean, even if Albus did humiliate her. Luckily, Lily didn't really destroy it, which was good, so then it was funny again. Speaking of the book, I thought it was interesting that you chose Flying with the Cannons as your book. I'm rereading the series, and Ron gives Harry this book for Christmas one year, so it really shows just how important this book is to Albus and Harry if they are both super protective of a book that Harry already had.

I thought that your prank was very creative and totally believable in the context of this fic. I find that one of the hardest thing to come up with and write are believable and funny pranks that haven't been done before, which is why I tend to avoid humour. Pranks usually come out boring or just bad, but this one didn't. You basically used the same prank twice, but in different contexts and different extremes. Both instances were equally powerful in creating a moment that was funny and completely unexpected.

Another very creative aspect was the Hufflepuff common room. In the books, we have seen how the Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw quarters work, so it was neat to see the fourth house. It was believable in the sense that it isn't so much different from the other houses, but it's still got that little feel of Hufflepuff to it, especially in the portrait who wants Lily to be nice.

As a complete work, this story had a real flow and cohesiveness to it. Though this was a cowritten story, it feels as if it was written by one person. This makes the fic feel connected as a whole, making it easy and enjoyable to read, as I didn't have to adjust to a new writing style whenever you switched authors.

As a whole, this piece really captured my attention with its cohesiveness, creativity, and relatability. I would definitely recommend this fic to someone who was looking for an easy going and fun read.

~Maple

 

Her Name Is Lily by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Ginny goes into labor, but an unexpected setback strands her and Harry at home, where their third child is born to two brothers who are not impressed.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1172 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/25/11 Updated: 05/25/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 06/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

Soooooo cute :) I loved James's reaction, and I thought that Ginny was simply hilarious. I'm glad you didn't get into all the gory details :) It's a lovely lovely story :D

Author's Response: Hi Maple, thanks for reading this story! I'm not sure many people would want to read the details, so I just wanted to touch more on Harry and Ginny's reactions. And the kids, as well. Thanks for the lovely review, I really appreciate it! ~GIna :)

 

Never Let Me Go by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary:

Louis Weasley had always assumed that the worst of his problems had been falling for someone he wasn't supposed to. This was, however, until that very someone turns up missing from one the biggest societal events of the century.

He was willing to break every rule and taboo to find her, but could he succeed where the entire might of the Ministry's Magical Law Enforcement Department failed?



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 10275 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
06/07/11 Updated: 11/26/13


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 01/04/13 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1 - A Leap of Faith

Dear Miss Jessica,

I am currently quite displeased with you due to the fact that I just discovered this story now, and you have abandoned it with Louis jumping off a train. Very, very displeased!

In all seriousness, though, I love this, and you should finish it. I love me some crime mysteries, and this one is especially intriguing.

Maple

Author's Response:

Mapleeee!

I'm displeased with the situation Louis is in, now, as well. All he wants is to find Lucy and bring her home, and for the life of him, he can't figure out why everyone's given up. Oh, to be seventeen again and think the world is small enough to find one girl amongst billions.

I do plan on finishing this, though. Soraya would murder me if I didn't. Now that I got 100 out of the way, it leaves me free to update old fics and finish a lot of shorter ones off. THis is one I plan to revisit sooner than later. :)

Thank you for reading, and I shall try not to disappoint.

~Jess

 

The One by kickingchick94
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: What started out as a scheme for revenge lead Hermione to question her happiness and emotional commitment to the one she thought would be hers.

Categories: Hermione/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 864 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/27/11 Updated: 07/04/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 02/25/12 Title: Chapter 1: The One

What a lovely story! It is beautifully written, and the final reveal of Cormac is very satisfying.

In the opening, I really enjoyed how you employed many different types of imagery. Instead of simply giving visual imagery, you give us sight, touch, sound, and scent. I found it particularly effective how you began with visual imagery, as it helps create a picture in the mind, which really draws the reader in. By describing the sounds and scents of the scene, the reader is then drawn further into the scene, making it seem like they themselves are there. Finally, by describing what exactly Hermione is physically feeling, I felt that I was Hermione, making me feel immediately drawn into the situation, and making it a much more personal experience. If there was one thing that could be added to the description, it would be to give a sort of timeline. I found myself slightly confused as to when this takes place, and it would be nice to have a general idea.

Your characterisation of Cormac is really well done. You have him as pushy, as we have seen him in the novels. Having him continuously push himself towards Hermione, taking all control of the situation is exactly how I imagine Cormac to behave, especially as Hermione described him as being pushy and very physical at Slughorn’s party.

Hermione is also well-done. Everything we have seen from Hermione in Half-Blood Prince is being repeated here. I really enjoyed watching her thoughts evolve from thinking only of Ron to thinking that maybe Cormac could be something.

The dynamic between the two characters is lovely. I found it completely realistic that Cormac would be the one that Hermione uses to make Ron jealous “ he’s his perfect competition in every way. He is better at him in Quidditch, something Ron is insecure about, and he was pursuing Hermione at the same time he was considering it. I thought that you brought Hermione and Cormac together very naturally, with Hermione’s mental tug-of-war and Cormac’s physical domination and attraction.

I really enjoyed the style of this piece. I thought that the lack of names led to a higher level of suspense, and really made the reveal of Hermione’s dancing partner much more exciting, for while we know exactly who Hermione is and who Ron is, we have no idea who the dancing partner is, and the build up to that is very exciting.

Lastly, I really liked how the structure followed Hermione’s thoughts. How it starts from a straight up this is wrong, goes through this area of turmoil shown through the alternating paragraphs of denial and her moments of hesitations in thinking it may work, and then finally ending in a yes. It really created a fantastic ride for the reader.

Overall, I found this to be a lovely journey for the reader, as your writing really brought me straight into the story, not as an observer, but as Hermione herself.

Maple

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, I have no idea where to begin with this... Thank you so much for this AMAZING review. It's crazy to think that someone actually enjoyed this story enough to write so much about it :) The feedback on the characterization and realism was really helpful, especially that I'm finally writing again. I have no idea how else to thank you, but just know that some passages of this review are written down by my computer for me to use as motivation :D Thank you so much!

 

Smoke and Mirrors by Padfoot11333
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Pius Thicknesse is under the Imperius Curse. When it is lifted, he feels the course of his actions.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1065 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/11/11 Updated: 07/18/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 05/15/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hey Lily!

This is a very interesting piece. The exploration into the world of an unknown character was very well done, and quite interesting to read, especially since it is a character that gains little sympathy throughout the actual novels.

Upon a second reading of this story, it came to my attention that there is very little description of the scene around Pius. Interestingly enough, it was not necessary . Typically, I like a little bit of a picture of what the place looks like before I start reading, but I found that I didn’t need it in this fic. I think that the lack of description actually further emphasised the dreamlike state that Pius is in. All that matters is what needs to be done, and not what is around him, like a dream where all you remember is what happened, but the scenery remains fuzzy.

I found that both characters were very easy to sympathise with, even though neither are ones that I felt any sympathy for in the books. I think one of the saddest parts of the interaction between the two characters is that they refer to each other by their first names. In the books, characters only referred to each other by their first names if they were friends, so watching the interaction using first names really drove home the feelings that Pius would later feel “ he killed someone he had known for a long time. His brief hesitation and the clenching of his heart really emphasises that, and I thought it was a beautiful thing to add. The small details really made the situation more real and more heartbreaking for the reader.

The way that the Imperius curse plays on Pius’ need for control and his envy of Rufus was very effective. Having the commands play at his jealousy towards Rufus’ success was quite clever. Through this, you have shown just how cunning Voldemort really is. He guarantees Pius the position of minister and then has him create a world where Pius feels that his power will never be questioned, which is something that I get the impression that he has wanted since he failed Auror school, whether he knew it, or not.

I loved your interpretation of Rufus. He was definitely not a character I particularly liked in the books, but here, you made me feel sorry that he had to die, and with him only saying a few words. His last words really shine and show us who exactly he was as a person. While his attempt at help may have been in order to spare his own life, his refusal to cave to the pain really showed the reader how brave he was and how he had his heart in the right spot. Having Rufus refer to Voldemort by his name was also very effective in showing just how strong Rufus was.

Your use of repetition was very nicely done in many places, emphasising exactly why Pius was so easy to keep under the Imperius curse “ he was always jealous of Rufus and he loves his dreamlike state. That being said, I thought that the use of the words “smoke and mirrors” was a little over done. While it made a really fantastic title, I thought that using it in the middle felt a bit off. I really liked it in the beginning and the end, but it felt a little overbearing in the middle.

One thing I would have liked to see more of was the end. I think there was a lot you could have expanded on. While I loved the “I am simply Pius”, I really wanted some more. I would have loved to see a bit more regret in him, and have him expand on why he didn’t think he was strong and righteous.

Overall, I thought this was a very nice piece of writing. The exploration of unknown characters and the way Voldemort controlled Pius made for a very interesting read. It was wonderful to read something so obscure without always questioning the legitimacy of it. Great job, Lily!

Maple

 

Summary: Past Featured StoryAs the dawn's light steals over the rocky Portree shore, Oliver Wood can see no beauty in it. All it garners is pain – for the memories it brings him, for the cracks it illuminates in his marriage. Katie's not the woman he thought she was, and as the day breaks, so does he.

Perhaps he is not who he thought he was, either.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Dubious Consent, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 2139 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/25/11 Updated: 08/04/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 02/25/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello, Hannah!

This story was interesting for me. As someone who has never really experienced anything even close to what the characters were feeling, I had a hard time relating to the story, but at the same time, I felt a sick feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, almost like I knew that this story would end the way it did, without having noticed the character death warning at the beginning. I think it was because everything that was described in the story was dark. Phrases such as “heavy with the promise of dawn”, “murky predawn chill”, and the stinging water all create a very cold, dark, and hopeless atmosphere, which I felt really helped focus on the tone of the narrative, and really foreshadowed Katie’s death, as death is cold, dark, and hopeless.

I think that your characterisation of Oliver was really quite good. I think that having Oliver show extreme emotions was spot on, as from canon, we see Oliver as a passionate person who does show extremeness, especially when it comes to losing. I think that the one line that really stuck out to me in terms of Oliver was that he “doesn’t do losing”. I think that this is really key in your characterisation, because Oliver has never really coped well with losing, as seen when he spent hours in the shower in PoA.

I couldn’t help but feel all of Oliver’s guilt throughout the story. I think that the fact that he will now take the blame for two deaths is absolutely heartbreaking, especially since both were accidents. With Katie, it seemed to be that he really was only trying to defend himself, and didn’t mean to kill her, but, in that moment, we already see that he thinks himself a murderer, and I found myself feeling guilty with him, though I find him innocent. I think that you really show emotion in this story, causing the reader to inadvertently emphasise, which is interesting, and definitely effective.

One thing that really struck me as odd was your use of Marcus Flint. For some reason, I cannot really see Katie sleeping with him, not so much because of the old rivalries, but more because he is just so icky. I could understand why she would do it, and I think he really is the only one who would get Oliver so riled up, but at the same time, I do think that Katie would have been a little more disgusted with the fact that she slept with someone who so resembled a troll and was a real jerk than she gave off.

What I think is really interesting is how you chose to depict the moments before dawn. I saw that the prompt was sunrise, but yet the way you employed the time of night/early morning was quite interesting. Dawn has classically been associated with new beginnings, like spring, but yet you chose to end something at dawn, so it is not a new beginning, but rather an end, which is traditionally associated with night or fall. As I was reading, it really stuck out to me that it ended as a new day unfolded, but yet it worked, as you continually described the morning as cold, dark, and chilling.

Finally, in terms of organisation, I really appreciated how you opened the story with dialogue. For me, having someone say something and then describe what’s going on makes for a stronger opening. I am more willing to read through description if I know that there will be some sort of reaction to what the character has said. The dialogue serves to pull me through the times of little action, because I want to know why Katie is hard to find, and how she will react to it. Furthermore, I thought that your description was rather nicely done and very complete. I was given a full picture of the scene, with all corners of the canvas painted, instead of having one landmark and nothing else.

Overall, I thought that this was an excellent snapshot into the devastation that Oliver’s life has become, and I think that your ability to cause the reader to feel all of the emotions when they have never experienced anything close to this really makes this story sparkle.

Maple

 

The Right Decision by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A question. An answer. Hermione reconsiders her relationship with Draco Malfoy.

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 1498 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/19/11 Updated: 09/19/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 01/14/12 Title: Chapter 1: Dinner

What a lovely little scene!

I love how you created this story without making the characters OOC. I find that the greatest downfall of Dramione stories is the author’s inability to create a story while keeping the characters how they would be in canon, but you have pulled off this story wonderfully. Hermione remains perfectly rational while Draco continues his smirky, controlling manner.

The tone shift in this story is quite interesting. We start off with friendly banter, which is quite funny. What I love is that the humour isn’t forced, instead it comes naturally, from realistic banter between the characters. The dialogue feels as if it could have really happened, and it doesn’t sound scripted. Furthermore, you add just enough description to the dialogue to create a picture, but it isn’t overbearing. We are very effectively taken from this realistic and hilarious banter into a darker mood, where Draco is showing his true feelings. What’s excellent about this is that he isn’t being overly open with them, but he isn’t being overly closed about them either, almost reminiscent of how I imagine him to have been with Myrtle in HBP. The dark mood really emphasises the level of their friendship. There appears to be actual trust between them rather than just physical attraction. Then, the tone effortlessly shifts back to humour.

The sexual tension between the two is fabulous. There is just enough to get the reader excited about what is to happen next, but instead, you end it, leaving the reader craving more action between the two. The natural chemistry is there without seeming laboured. I think that the way you end the scene, with Hermione leaving with Draco, leaves just enough to the imagination, but at the same time, it’s the natural ending point. The reader is given just enough for it to be satisfying, and leaves the ending open for what they hope to happen next.

This story flows naturally, shifting from mood to mood effortlessly. The balance between action, dialogue, and description feels balanced, and I am not left with any sort of desire for more of the one or feeling like I have been overwhelmed with another.

~Maple~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review. This was yet another story that seemed overlooked, and I sometimes worried with all the Dramione love around that it must be terrible, lol. And yet I quite enjoyed the challenge of hooking these two up without killing one of their significant others or forcing a marriage law on them, haha. I'm glad it worked for you. I'm thrilled the characters came off well, especially their dialogue. I sometimes think I write too much dialogue, but I really, truly *hear* things like this in my head. I had sketched out a few chapters leading up to this and then a few more, although nothing immediately following what happens when they leave the restaurant. I liked leaving that open and am glad it wasn't annoying to leave the reader hanging too much. Thanks again for all the lovely feedback on what works and what's going well, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)

 

Queen by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: They called her the queen of Hogwarts. But queens lose their crowns so easily.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1051 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/03/11 Updated: 10/06/11


Reviewer: Maple_and_PheonixFeather Signed
Date: 06/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Queen of Hogwarts

Hello!

What a very interesting story, I quite enjoyed it. I love how you took such a brief moment from the books mentioned by a character that invokes pity from the reader, and turned it against the character, making us pity Olive instead.

I enjoy how the two different sections of the fic contras each other. In the first section, we pity Myrtle and, even though the protagonist of the story is Olive, we despise Olive. But in the second section, the roles are flipped, and we pity Olive again. This is very effective in showing all sides of Olive, which I think makes her a deeper, more three-dimensional character.

The description of Olive was very interesting. She was pretty, but her looks are forgettable. From this, the reader can gather that Olive is attractive because of her confidence and assertive personality. This creates a strong character that immediately gains likeness from the readers. Yet, as soon as names are mentioned, the like that the character has gained is lost. I think this creates a very interesting development in the characterisation of Olive that finishes at the end, when the reader pities her. We go from admiration, to dislike, to pity. Doing this is only 1000 words is definitely an amazing feat!

I also thought that your characterisation of Tom, who was really not a part of the story at all, was very clever. It was a very realistic characterisation from what we are given in canon. Characterisation is definitely the strongest part of this story -- even the minor characters are excellently characterised.

There are a few canon errors in this story. Firstly, I don’t think that eyes can be fixed by magic. If they could be, why would Dumbledore, McGonagall, Arthur, Percy, and Harry all wear glasses? I think that eyes are like scars -- they can’t be fixed by magic. Secondly, the Beast, Being, and Spirit Division is not one division, but three separate ones, according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Overall, I thought that the plot advanced in a very natural and believable way. Nothing felt jumpy or forced. Each section flowed into the next naturally. I also thought that Olive’s reaction was very believable. I think that her seeing Myrtle dead on the floor after she had bullied her into that bathroom would result in the reaction that it did. I think she would definitely feel the guilt that she did, so much so that it would cause her assertive personality and self confidence to diminish.

In conclusion, your characterisation is very strong, as is your plot development. In this short story, you have managed to pull off amazing characterisation, character development, and plot development. With just a few canon checks and changes, you could take this great story into an amazing one.

Best of luck in your writing!

Maple

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I'll check the part about the glasses. And thanks for the comment on the Beast, Being, and Spirit. I lost my copy of FBawtFT, so I definitely missed that.

 
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