Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
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Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione
 

Shattered Universe by msk8
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: You spent your life preparing for the worst, and you thought you were ready.

But the worst has come. The worst is here. You know you aren’t ready. You aren’t even close to ready.


A one-shot about Rufus Scrimgeor.

The Character Death tag is just implied, not actually during the fic. Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Harry. Potter.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 850 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/05/10 Updated: 07/09/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/15/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a really original idea and I think you pulled it off really well. Your characterisation of Scrimgeour was very nice - especially the way you showed his over-confidence and told the story in almost a report-like format. I also loved the second person (although maybe that's just me... I do love stories from that perspective). It really put the emotions on to the reader, which was very effective, because it humanised a character whose worse characteristics are perhaps shown in canon. But after all, Scrimgeour is just trying to do his best. (I hope that makes sense.)

I would have loved it to have been longer. I know it is basically about the moments before he dies, but I would have loved to have seen where his character came from etc.

Anyway, it was very well written, original and I really enjoyed it. Good job!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it so much. Perhaps I will extend it. When I wrote it, I was more of a beginning writer than I am now, so I think I might be able to.

 

Arthur's Obsession by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 30]

Summary:

Arthur Weasley has an obsession. He can’t keep it off his mind. It tinges every thought in his head and consumes his dreams. He can’t concentrate on anything else. His friends, the ones who haven’t given him up as a bad job, tell him he’s crazy and he knows they’re probably right. But that’s not even the worst part. Do you know what the worst part is?

She’s completely oblivious.

…And you thought it was Muggle Studies he was obsessed with.

Chapter 6: Quidditch and Kids is up!

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 11353 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
07/06/10 Updated: 03/01/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/26/11 Title: Chapter 1: 1. That Marvellous Molly

So I just read "For Them", and I really enjoyed that, so I thought I'd check out some of your other fics. The summary for this looked really interesting, and I love Molly/Arthur as a pairing, although there doesn't seem to be much of it in fanfiction... anyway.

I really liked this opening chapter. I had a great sense of Arthur throughout the whole thing, and I loved the flashback scene. That was just so typical Molly, and the hex she used made me think of Ginny and her Bat Bogey Hexes... anyway, your portrayal of her was just great. Some people seem to dismiss Molly as "the housewife", but there's so much more to her than that.

Dumbledore was great, too. Particularly his comment to Arthur at the end. Great.

Just a few small things - no matter if they had no more claim on her protection then that- that they were weak it's a great sentence and conveys so much of her character, but it should say "than that", not "then that".

Also, why was Molly bemused when she returned to the common room at the end? I didn't really understand that...

I'm looking forward to the next chapter, it looks like this will be a great fic!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I am so so flattered that you wanted to read more of my stories! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll fix the then/than problem in a sec. Thanks for pointing that out, too.

As for Molly's bemusement, I think she just came away from Wentworth, who was trying to be very romantic, and she thought he was being silly. XP

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/26/11 Title: Chapter 6: 6. Quidditch and Kids

Now I can't wait for the next chapter! I'm loving this story! I think the funniest part sofar was when Dirk was trying to 'subtly' tell Molly how good Arthur was... that really made me smile. I loved the interaction with the Black sisters, too.

Poor Arthur. Particularly over the Christmas holidays. And really... what does Molly see in Jonathan? I wonder what he sees in her... he doesn't seem to care a huge amount for her health (like after she was injured), he's more worried about how he'll look if she's been cheating on him... so why does he like her, when she's not the typical popular girl? I'm interested. And rambling lol.

Sorry about this review... it's not very structured or anything, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm loving this story.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Yay! It makes me so happy to hear that you are loving it!

Wentworth really has seemed a bit of a jerk, hasn't he? The truth is, he's not so bad normally... when he's not in Arthur's general vicinity, anyway. Arthur bothers him; he suspects Arthur's feelings for Molly. Wentworth doesn't know Molly very well, but he likes what he knows, and that is that she's pretty, she's smart... and she was not only available but lived just a few streets away over the summer.

Thanks so much for the review! I don't mind rambles in the least. A review of any kind is wonderful. =)

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/26/11 Title: Chapter 6: 6. Quidditch and Kids

Now I can't wait for the next chapter! I'm loving this story! I think the funniest part sofar was when Dirk was trying to 'subtly' tell Molly how good Arthur was... that really made me smile. I loved the interaction with the Black sisters, too.

Poor Arthur. Particularly over the Christmas holidays. And really... what does Molly see in Jonathan? I wonder what he sees in her... he doesn't seem to care a huge amount for her health (like after she was injured), he's more worried about how he'll look if she's been cheating on him... so why does he like her, when she's not the typical popular girl? I'm interested. And rambling lol.

Sorry about this review... it's not very structured or anything, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm loving this story.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Oops. Double review. XD

 

Memento Mori by Liandrin
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 18]

Summary: Past Featured StoryI suspect Potter always imagined himself dying honourably in battle or saving some poor sod’s soul. He didn’t. And for that I was smugly appreciative.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity

Word count: 3140 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/12/10 Updated: 07/17/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: Memento Mori

This was a really interesting idea, and you wrote it really nicely. I loved your characterisations of both Harry and Draco - and neither are easy characters to write, so that's impressive. For a while I was worried that you were leading up to Harry magically coming back to life in some form... and I was so glad that it wasn't like that, your actual story was a lot more realistic.

I liked your quirks about the afterlife - for example, someone you don't like telling you your dead, and how you start old and seem to get younger etc. It added a nice sense of originality to what could be really cliched.

Great fic :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm glad this came across as original and not clichd. This was a story that I felt I had to write. And I am very happy that my Harry was convincing. I rarely write the bloke. Hehe.

Thank you again for all your wonderful review.

~Lia

 

Summary:

Lily Evans had a lot of thinking to do, and what better time to do it than the crack of dawn on a Saturday? Not a person in sight...usually. That was, however, until she happened upon a certain group of boys, but without their normal mischief.

Follow Lily as she investigates this awkward run-in with James Potter and his friends.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3007 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/12/10 Updated: 07/15/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 02/24/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi Jess,
I really loved this fic. It's incredibly considering it's your first Marauder fic - you wrote the characters with such ease and gave insight into all the minor characters as well as Remus and Lily.

I liked your take on the James/Lily story - that Lily realises that she has misjudged James for all these years and graudally has to reverse it... it reminds me a bit of Pride and Prejudice (which the Lily/James story has always reminded me of anyway) and I think it's great that you didn't go with cliches when writing these characters.

Lily's outburst at Remus was fantastic and really showed up what I see as Remus' main flaw - his lack of self belief. It was very IC for both of them. You really did draw these characters perfectly!!

Just a few grammatical nitipicks -
He looked so small to Lily, like a child, but his face. Did you mean to write "but for his face"? Because that would make more sense. And... I think there was something else but I've forgotten it lol.

Anyway, great fic!!

~Katrina

Author's Response:

You know, after I wrote this fic, I almost didn't post it. Most of my MNFF friends are Marauder aficionados, and I'm the polar opposite; I don't even read the category. But I posted it anyway, and I was surprised how well people liked it. I never bought into the idea that Lily hated James -- just that she thought he was a bit of a self-centred tool -- but finding out what he was willing to do for his friend made her see that, yes, he's a toerag, but not such a bad one. They had to start somewhere, so this is what I chose. Plus, the fic propmt for which I worte this was supposed to be inspired by movie canon, and I picked PofA where Remus told Harry that his mum was there for him.

Anyway, this is probably more of an earful than you were expecting, but there you go, hehe. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I will make the correction you pointed out. 

~Jess

 

The Triumph of Evil by A H
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: The war has ended, but even with so many years gone by, it can still arouse fear and anger in the wizarding world. Draco Malfoy, released from his sentence in Azkaban, must deal with this fact while trying to readjust to life after war.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 5662 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/21/10 Updated: 07/27/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: The Triumph of Evil

Your characterisation of Draco was excellent (the other characters were great too, but especially him). The whole story was a nice depiction of how our society treats people. Draco's death was sad but definitely ended the story well. I really enjoyed this :).

 

Waking by the opaleye
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Past Featured Story

He cannot bring himself to think the name. There is a glimpse of red. A laugh. A fumbled apology. A friendship.

How a death may change a life or two.

Winner of Best Non-Canon Romance in the Quick Silver Quill Awards 2010



Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Sexual Situations

Word count: 2380 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/27/10 Updated: 07/28/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 02/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Waking.

Absolutely beautiful! Your prose is so poetic and so emotive and just absolutely beautiful. Normally I would give an example of what I thought was best in a fic... but there's so much beautiful imagery and writing here that I can't pick anything specific. I loved your use of short or truncated sentences interspersed with the longer, more complex ones - it really created the emotion. The present tense was also great - I really felt in the moment with Harry and Hermione.

Usually I'm not a Harmony fan... I prefer canon ships, but I think you really pulled off their characters here and it felt like this was more out of need to heal than love.

Anyway, this was so beautiful I can't really say anything else.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! Yes, you are right about the need to heal. I am a Harmony shipper but when writing this it was more of an exploration of how the two would deal with Ron's loss rather than a way to get them together. The state they're in, I doubt a romantic relationship could work in the long run, in all honesty. It's more of a union out of comfort more than anything else. Again, thanks for reading and leaving this review :)

 

Father's Day by Arnel
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: It's Father's Day and Harry receives a very special gift.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6014 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/30/10 Updated: 08/01/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/10/10 Title: Chapter 1: Father's Day

It was a great story, especially the sweet ending. I felt like it was a bit longer than it needed to be... for example the section at the zoo, although it was cute, didn't seem to build toward the plot much to me. Also the continuous references to golf kind of pulled me out of the story a little, and it didn't seem to tie in particularly.

Having said that, I still enjoyed it and it was a very sweet and cute story :).

 

Spontaneity by Northumbrian
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 68]

Summary: Hermione (and Ginny) chose to return to Hogwarts to study. Harry and Ron joined the Auror Office. It's the Easter holidays, two weeks home from school for the girls, but their boyfriends are both working. The all important NEWT exams are approaching, Hermione's revision schedule is already carefully planned. Will she find time for Ron? What about Harry and Ginny?

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 18766 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/03/10 Updated: 05/28/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Hermione

Once again you've done a really great job with characterisation... I really liked Ron, and Hermione was also very good. I thought that at times she was still a tad too uptight though. I think after hanging around Harry and Ron for all those years she would have loosened up a bit more... but maybe that's just me.

The part in the restaurant made me laugh. Very funny and very Ron. I also really liked that you developed your characters - especially Hermione - in this fic, which is hard to do in a one-shot, but she had definitely learnt something by the end.

This fic was written really well as well and I really enjoyed it :).

Author's Response:
Thanks for the review.

This Hermione is a lot less uptight than she was in the original version of the story (thanks to WeasleyMoms pre-publication criticism). My defence is that this is the Easter Holidays and Hermione has endured two terms at school, as Head Girl, without her boys. On top of that, her NEWTs are approaching. Personally, I think that I could have made her more manic.

Ron, Im certain, can bring out the best in Hermione. He can make her relax, and his humour is usually teasing and fun. Ron, unlike his friends, would certainly use his fame to his advantage and hed think that it was a huge joke. The restaurant scene simply flowed from Rons attitude, and eventually Hermione gets caught up in the fun.
N

 

The Sweetest Thing by draco_roxmysox
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: The sweetest thing a person could do would be to keep another company in her hour of need.

What if someone found his enemy where she lay seriously injured? What if he could leave her? What if he chose to stay?

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2739 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/04/10 Updated: 08/06/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/05/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Such a bittersweet fic. I liked your characterisation of Draco, and how he came to change. Hermione Granger had just saved his life with her own. - I think this line really sums up the whole fic and it's really beautiful. Just a small thing - you wrote Never again would he belittle those below himself. - this seems a little weird, as his whole realisation is that they aren't below him... perhaps you could say "Never again would he belittle those he thought to be below himself."

I loved the part where their blood mingled - it really symbolised Draco's change. I also think you did a good job of mixing in the song lyrics - they really added.

Just one thing - perhaps you should have put in an AU warning because Hermione dies? After all, that isn't canon.

Anyway, this was a beautifully written and haunting fic, but also a great tale of redemption.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much for this awesome review. I really like your suggestion about the line, thanks for letting me know. I will look into editing that and the Warning section soon. Thank you again for an insightful review :D

 

Summary: Regulus Black feels like he's made a mistake.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1784 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/04/10 Updated: 08/07/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I loved your portrayal of Regulus in this fic, as a confused and impressionable teenager who is only trying to please. I especially loved your ending - I guess it really enforced your message.

I also liked the beginning about Regulus being scared of everything, and also how you included his feelings of being lesser than Sirius - which is perhaps why he stayed loyal to his family. Then at least he'd done something better than Sirius.

I also liked the way you used present tense - I really felt like I was in the moment and inside Regulus' head.

Your characterisation of his mother confused me a little - perhaps she just needed filling out a bit more. I was confused as to if she felt fondness for Regulus, if she actually missed Sirius... anyway, that could just be me. I guess what you wrote left me wondering a bit about her.

But the rest I thought was great, I really loved your insight into Regulus :).

 

Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Past Featured Story"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon."





Originally writtten for TTB's ReSorting Challenge. Many, many thanks to Riham (padfoot_returns) for her wonderful work on this story. :D



This story won a 2011 QSQ for Best Alternate Universe in the one-shot category.



DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K.Rowling, though everything you recognise belongs to her. AU because Dumbledore was a Gryffindor. ;)

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1189 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/11/10 Updated: 08/14/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/18/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

The name and summary of this fic really caught my attention, and I absolutely loved this fic. Your characterisation of Albus was spot on - I could imagine him being like that at age 11. I think he's an interesting character, because although he seems to have left the idea of "For the Greater Good" behind, what he does to Harry seems to follow that ideal exactly (if that makes sense.)

I also loved Snape in this story and the way you connect Dumbledore and Snape as being far more similar than you would think initially.

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh wow! Finally, one of my summaries worked. ; ) I usually tend to be bad in this area so you have cheered me up.

Albus is my favourite character, but he is cunning. There is just no way around this, you know, and ultimately, he was raising Harry for slaughter.

Thanks for your reading and review!

~Natalie

 

Against My Better Judgement by Inclination
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Snapshots looking at the last year in the life of Remus Lupin.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3652 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/17/10 Updated: 08/19/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 08/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It was a really great story, I liked how you got into Remus' and Tonks' characters. I think at the start there were a few tense mix-ups... it seemed like you had the odd sentence in the past tense, but it was still good. I liked the present tense too.

Just two small things. I thought Remus called her Dora in the books, though I'm not really sure on that. Also, Ted Tonks wasn't mentioned until his death... I thought this was a bit strange, but nothing major.

I especially love the last line :).

Author's Response: Thankyou, I'm glad you enjoyed it... I had always thought that Remus had called her Tonks - I'm pretty sure he calls her that to Harry & Co, but I could be wrong. And I didn't put Ted Tonks into there... because he was in hiding whislt Remus was staying at their house! Yes, that's my story, and I'm going to stick to it! (I just competely forgot about it... I'm not really overly-interested in him as a character. Oooops.) And I'm especially glad you liked the last line, I wasn't sure whether to cut it or not, so I'm glad you think it works!

 

Seedling by the fetal positon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Past Featured StoryDuring the bitter weeks of December 1935, young Tom Riddle found shelter in a hidden alcove and in a strange boy who surprisingly liked him. The boy was compassionate, curious, and far too optimistic, and he had unexpectedly shown up on the street one cold day when Tom was feeling lonely. His name was Harry, and if Tom could ever call someone a friend, it would have to be him.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 8892 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/18/10 Updated: 08/21/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 08/28/10 Title: Chapter 1: Seedling

I loved this story - your descriptions were really great and detailed. I loved your interpretation of Tom's character and the way you brought Harry in... it was a great explanation for how Tom ended up as Voldemort. Usually I don't read dark fics... but I think I'll check out your other ones!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was really fun to write, and exploring Tom's character was an interesting journey. :) I hope you enjoy my other (and older, eek!) stories.

 

A Dance by Niamara
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: "He laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair again. “What I'm trying to say is... Dance with me?"" Lily/James.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 7500 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/22/10 Updated: 08/24/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 08/28/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really enjoyed this, it was a nice sweet story. I'm glad you didn't try to tackle hate to love all in a one-shot. I liked that they were friends first and it also seems logical how tentative they were. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you thought their levels of apprehension were logical. I debated for a long time how awkward I should make their encounter after the night's events, and it's good to hear that I settled on the right amount! :) Cheers. --Nia x

 

The Eyes of a Tortured Soul by ThestralSong13
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: This is my response to a rather haunting still shot of Draco Malfoy. I am also going off of HBP for time and place.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 219 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/22/10 Updated: 08/24/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 08/28/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I liked it. I found it a little repetitive though having "the eyes of a tortured soul" at the end of almost every stanza. I liked how your rhyme scheme change from stanza to stanza - it gave the poem an uncertain feel which fitted. I also loved the line "He sits, then he stands" - really summed up the restlessness/confusion etc. So great poem!

Author's Response: Thank you! I used the repetitiveness as a way to tie it all together, but I'm glad to hear your opinion. Thanks again and I'm glad you like it! ~Thestral

 

Being by Rosehh
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: There was always the possibility that he'd created a monster.

But they couldn't be sure.

Not until now. Sexual situations warning is for description of childbirth.

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1088 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/26/10 Updated: 08/29/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/05/10 Title: Chapter 1: Scared?

I really liked how you set up the story and Remus' feelings of confusion - I thought you could have honed in a bit more on his feelings of guilt though. To be honest, I found the last paragrah a bit of a let-down... it doesn't really sum up Remus' feelings or how they've changed, or his love for his family no matter what. Your title was nice, perhaps you could have put something about that in the last line?

Overall I enjoyed it though :). A creative idea.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yeah, I know what you mean about the ending. I was having difficulty ending it, and I still go back and re-write it, and each time I still don't feel satisfied with it. I'll change it when I can find something better!

 

Swimming Lessons by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 46]

Summary: Past Featured StorySix weeks after the battle, Hermione puts on a bathing suit for the first time in nearly a year... scars are revealed as painful memories rise to the surface yet again.

I almost submitted this under dark/angst, but at the end of the day, I see it as Ron/Hermione. *shrug* Also, a gazillion thanks to my awesometastic beta Natalie, and to both Neil and Carole for helping me with all things British. :D

I'm thrilled to announce that this story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill in the category Best Canon Romance. YAY!

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 1715 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/26/10 Updated: 08/29/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/05/10 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

This was a really nice insight into Hermione's character, and written really nicely. You touched on some great ideas, like 'Why do we always think there is so much time?' and 'I never stop trying to see'. Also it was great that when Ron looks at the scars he says they're barely noticeable - it touches on the idea that fears are bigger in our minds than they are when you bring them out into reality. I also loved how going swimming is so intricately important to Ron and Hermione's relationship, and to Hermione overcoming her hardships. 'I fight the memory of the smell of that carpet, of Ron screaming my name from the confines of his own hell. Of brothers kneeling over the lost one in a corridor at Hogwarts,' is a nice line, especially adding in the smell. The ending was really sweet but perfect for your story. Only one teeny little criticism - your paragraph about Hermione's vanity was a bit repetitive I found, maybe you could have cut some of the sentences. But otherwise a really great fic!

Author's Response: Hi there. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to leave a review. They are always so very helpful. I'm glad you liked the story... those are some of my favorite lines as well. I didn't mean to convey that swimming is important to their relationship, though. More like, it's just something they do at the Burrow, and now it has become kind of a hump she is going to have to get over, and so he helps her. Does that make sense? You are right that it is important to her overcoming this, though. I'm big on smell for setting the tone of a scene. Perhaps I have an overly sensitive sniffer ;) but many of my memories are triggered by smells. Another person actually commented on that "vanity" paragraph when this fic was in its drabble form, so I know that rubs a few the wrong way. I will look at it again, but am just rather attached to it. None of the sentences can be cut, but perhaps I could reword a few things there. We'll see. Thanks again for taking the time to leave such a thorough review. I really appreciate it.

 

Tales of the Battle by Northumbrian
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 274]

Summary:
Over fifty people died at the Battle of Hogwarts. There are dozens of stories of loss, betrayal, heroism and sacrifice. These are some of those stories.

Nominated for: Best General (Chaptered) story – Quicksilver Quills 2011


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 49415 Chapters: 25 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/28/10 Updated: 03/31/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/31/11 Title: Chapter 7: Ernest Endeavours

I've finally got around to reading this - I've been planning to for quite a while. Firstly, I think it's a great concept and that you've really thought it out well - all the different plots link up with each other (and all your other stories) really well and you don't make any mistakes there.

I really loved "The Calm Before" - what an interesting idea to give Madam Pomfrey a perspective. You portrayed her so well, and you wrote that sense of a fear of the future and not knowing what's going to happen so well that I almost felt nervous.

"Galleon" - I liked the idea of getting inside Cho's head and I think you did it very well, though somehow it wasn't quite as compelling as the first story... but still very good. Near the end, when she thought something about how Harry was intense and difficult to like, in my head I was wondering 'now I wonder what Ginny would say about that?'

"Great to be Back" - wonderfully Luna. Seeming to be a little eccentric and flighty, and yet having all the right values underneath. I think she's a very difficult character not to caricature and I think you did a great job (also loved Ginny's description of Terry - very Ginny).

"Protheroe's Perspective" - now this was something completely different! I loved her characterisation and how you made her unique and different. The ending was bittersweet, as in a sense I felt happy that she was alive, but it brought back the loss of Tonks and Colin. I think it was very realistic that Polly often had thoughts about the children and how she didn't think they'd be capable (particularly about Colin).

"The Confession of Augusta Longbottom" - you just nailed her character so well. Just the whole idea of the letters and her confession, and that she couldn't face up to telling Neville in person was just so her. I also liked the sense that life had moved on from the battle, as (at least sofar) the rest of the stories are in the thick of the pain and death.

"Good Bones" - I liked Susan, particularly the way she admired her aunt and liked to figure out where words came from (just on that note - as far as I know, "vol" in French is a noun, so it means "flight", not "flees". It also means "theft", which I think is rather interesting, as it's almost like Voldemort is stealing himself from death... and I'm rambling here, back to the review.) I think Susan had a sort of understated bravery; she didn't openly defy the Carrows as the likes of Neville did, but there was something about her, determined to fight for good.

"Ernest Endeavours". I'm sorry to say I didn't enjoy this as much as the others. I know Ernie is pompous, I just never saw him, well, quite like this. I felt sad at the ending, as I was hoping that in this story, Ernie would see his own prejudice... anyway, having said that, you still wrote him well and created empathy for him, particularly when Hannah and Justin come in and he suddenly feels inferior. Personally that's why I've always thought he was pompous - because he wanted to prove something. Anyway, even though I didn't like Ernie so much, this was still well written.

So basically the main thing I really love about this is your spot on characterisations and the variety of perspectives and different ways of looking at the same event. Great work.

~Katrina

Author's Response:
Thanks for the comprehensive review of the first seven chapters. Ill try to respond to all of your comments.

The original versions of these stories were not written in the order they now appear, but flitted back and forth across the battle. I think that Protheroes Perspective was the first one I wrote. My original plan was for a hospital chapter midway through the battle. But Madam Pomfrey wanted to make sure that she was ready for anything, and I wanted to try to make readers worry about what might happen.

Cho was one of the first DA members to arrive. I simply had to know why, and Galleon was the result.

Luna is extremely difficult for me to get right, so I use her sparingly. Here are, I hope, several places in this story (notably her unasked question to Terry) where she would appear barmy to outsiders, but it all makes sense inside her head. I enjoyed this so much that theres a Terry/Luna story later (Worn Out Boot, of course) and I toyed with the idea of making them a couple.

Polly Protheroe, Muggle-born Goth Auror was a rather eccentric creation, but she allowed me to present an outsiders view of the DA, and to provide a bit more background on my Colin. She appears (briefly) in It Takes Two.

Ive been fascinated by epistolary fiction ever since I read Dracula. Most fanfic sites ban it, so The Confession of Augusta Longbottom was my way of sneaking a letter-based story in. The fact that I named (and calculated birthdays) for Neville and Hannahs kids just for this story says a lot about me.

The Susan I now write about grew from this story. Sensible, serious and rather severe, possibly even a bit repressed, her character is becoming more fixed in my mind. I think that shes a thinker and a planner. She wont rush into things.

Ernie is interesting, I didnt want to make everyone perfect, but I gave poor Ernie more flaws than most. He means well, he really does, and he works hard too. Im quite happy for you sympathise with him, but not to like him much. He is (vaguely) based on someone I worked with (who was NOT racist).

-N-

 
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