Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
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Bio:
Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione
 

Killer by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Who killed Lily and James Potter?

Who betrayed them? Who nearly killed their baby?

I did.

I, Severus Snape, killed them.

I, Sirius Black, killed them.

I, Peter Pettigrew, killed them.

And I'll tell you how.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 882 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/03/11 Updated: 11/14/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Killed Them

I agree a lot with your previous reviewer - Sapphire at Dawn. Overall this fic was powerful and very unique - the way you interwove the stories' of these four characters was seamless and really connected them together.

The dialogue and inner monologue were very effective tools for telling this story - it made the action happen quickly and you really got inside all the characters' heads. I thought your Sirius was your strongest character, particularly his conversation with James - the dialogue-only style of that part worked perfectly.

I think your Peter and Severus were fairly well-characterised, although they didn't quite shine the way sirius did. With Severus, I liked how you showed him going from eagerness to serve Voldemort to regret - the progression was done realistically.

As Sapphire at Dawn also said, I find your Voldemort a bit OOC - he trusts no-one and is an intensely private person, therefore I don't think he would ever have told anyone that he chose Harry because he was the most similar to him - I think this is only something Dumbledore deduced. I always thought he would say to the Death Eaters that he chose the Potters because it was less waste of magical blood. Also when Voldemort was talking to Peter, I think it might be better if you cut a bit of his dialogue - perhaps leave it at “Excellent, Wormtail.” He paused. “I must admit that I doubted your merit when you first joined me… but now you have proved your worth, Wormtail..

I loved the way you finished, particularly the "I am a killer" line - it tied the whole story together really well.

Anyway, well done for attempting this sort of style - it must have been difficult to write, and yet it isn't confusing to the reader.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I realize that Sirius is the best, but that's because my notebooks are filled with practice. I'm stilling trying to find the right Peter and Snape, and as for Voldemort, it's a definite work in progress. I'm glad you enjoyed the style, though I'll confess it isn't difficult to write. It just sort of happened. Thank you for reviewing!

 

Black and White by Eleanor Lupin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: For Narcissa Malfoy, things have always been black and white. Her life plotted out with no room for change. But as she kneels next to the not-so-dead body of Harry Potter, she has to choose between what is right and what is easy.
And its not as easy a choice as it used to be.


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 985 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/05/11 Updated: 11/09/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Courage Shines

This story is an interesting concept, and I think you did a great job of showing exactly why Narcissa made that choice. I think it's an interesting choice, and as with many other things in canon, ultimately it comes down to love.

My favourite line is definitely this - Maybe I had more in common with them than I thought. I think that's really an idea that could go both ways, and it's often something that comes up in war, when those fighting recognise that their enemies are simply human. And I loved how you connected it through Tonks, and through the idea of having a son for whom you would die.

I thought the idea that Narcissa hated dead bodies and almost seems repulsed by death is very interesting. In general I think she's an interesting character, because as far as we know, though she had ties with the Death Eaters, she never joined like Bellatrix did, and I think in this story you really show why not. Because I think Narcissa has experienced love in a way her eldest sister never has, which is why I think the idea of death repulses her. This line was great - Maybe I had more in common with them than I thought.

Somehow I think this story would have worked even better in present tense (not that I imagine you'll change it because that takes a considerable amount of time), just because of the immediacy of Narcissa's thoughts, although that is just m opinion.

Anyway, it was an enjoyable read, and you really fitted it around canon very well.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I loved that line too when I wrote it. I agree with what you've said about Narcissa, Bellatrix feels very blasé about death because she's never had anyone who she truly cares about, and can't even imagine what it would feel like to lose someone close to her because it's simply not a possibility. However, Narcissa has a family she loves and can't imagine losing, so that combined with her sister's cavalierness about death and such is what gave her a bit of a phobia of death, corpses and such. Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad you liked it!

 

Summary: A stern resolve envelops those who prepare for the Battle of Hogwarts.


This poem has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 112 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/05/11 Updated: 11/05/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

As you know, I'm not generally a huge poetry fan... but you do really write some fantastic poetry! And you're right, I think poetry really does work for the battle.

I loved the whole thing, but especially the final couplet, because I think it really showed the spirit of those who fought in the battle.

You really combined a lot of different emotions here... on one hand, it felt uplifting, but also sad, like with the line For others, it will be their night to die which just reminded me of the horrors of the battle.

Also the rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Yay, you're back!

I like the fact that I can write poetry you enjoy without being a poetry expert or connoisseur. Personally, I'm not much of a poetry reader, but I'm a fan of imagery and emotive writing. The cool thing about poetry is that you can do that but NOT cake it in hidden meaning and layered themes. Sometimes, it's ncie to just write someting simple yet powerful. :)

Anyway that = ramble from me. Thank you muchly for returning to my author page.

~Jess 

 

All That's Left by iLuna17
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Then I saw Mum and Dad’s faces. It was the first time I had ever seen our father cry. And just like that, my already shattered heart split again. You broke our father, Al. Even Voldemort couldn’t do that. Dad looked like someone had stabbed him in the stomach, then twisted the knife for good measure. He and mum, they raised you, raised you to be strong, and you let them down. You failed them. You were a coward. A coward who broke our father.




Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 3186 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/07/11 Updated: 11/14/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: All That's Left

Perhaps it was just your comment at the beginning, but this story made me think of Alex's stories (and I mean that to be a very high compliment). You handle suicide so well in this, and something about the characterisation and subject matter just reminded me of her. Anyway.

Using James' perspective was an excellent idea, and I liked how you developed his character and his relationship with Albus. I liked how you showed them as almost opposing - Gryffindor and Slytherin, one not great with emotions and the other a great helper etc. James' character was certainly strong enough to sustain a fairly long inner monologue, and the story never dragged at all.

Albus was characterised so well, and differently to what I've read in the past. Often he's depicted as a Neville-like character, who finds his courage, or even a Hermione-ish type character, and I loved how you made him unique. I thought it was an interesting twist that Scorpius was in Gryffindor, and that Al, Rosie and Scorpius were all close friends - the connection to the trio was well-chosen and interesting. I liked how James thought of the bullying Al endured and the guilt James also feels, mixed with anger and sadness.

I thought James' progression of emotions worked really well - particularly his resolution at the end. Even though this fic works very well as a whole, there is definitely potential for an intriguing sequel.

I'm not quite sure what I think about the ending part - in a way I think the story might be more powerful without it - the line "That's not enough" would be a lovely ending, and I had certainly guessed that Albus was murdered, having seen James' description of him, and it would perhaps also leave the reader thinking more of how you can know someone and not know them simultaneously (if that makes sense). But it is well-written and does finish the story off... so sorry I'm sitting on the fence about that one.

And just one little timing thing - in the Epilogue, Albus is starting his first year and James is only starting his second, so the boys are only 1 school year apart.

Anyway, this was a poignant, reflective, thoughtful, well-written story.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the amazing review. Alex: I'm assuming you mean welshdevondragon, yes? She was my beta, and she really helped me develop this story. I love her fics, and it was a real honor working with her, and it did remind me kind of about her fic where Lily's friend Jill kills herself. I love portraying James and Al. I think there's so much to work with, and I always pictured Al as a Slytherin, though I don't know why. I just think he's different, and that's how I write him. James: He was hard to develop. Alex said the most "real" moment was when he clenched his fist, and I agree. The revenge thing also seems like something the James in my head would do, and it adds emotion. The Ending: I'm glad you realized the true death of Al, most didn't. So props for that! :) Also, I thought it was an interesting twist, something to give the reader something more to think about, and the Albus bit was not in the first few (hundred) drafts, but I think it kind of works. I thought that as well, but some say it's different. I'll go fix it, and thanks for catching it! Thank you so much for the review, it really means a lot, especially with this story. Alex and I spent a good chunk of time working with it, and I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for the review! Ellie

 

Summary: A lot of people had found themselves bereft after the war, but Pansy Parkinson had never expected that she would be one of them. But a bizarre encounter and an impromptu dinner date served to change not only her fortunes, but her hopes of earning a little bit of redemption, as well.


This story has also been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Non-Canon Romance Story.



Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Profanity

Word count: 5840 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/09/11 Updated: 11/09/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: ---

Hi Jess,

I have to admit I was a little nervous about reading it... I think I might have come across a Harry/Pansy story before and found it completely OOC. But really I shouldn't have worried, knowing that you're a fantastic author who can really make me believe the most unbelievable situations.

The most amazing thing about this was that Harry and Pansy were completely in character. Harry was perhaps not how I'd imagine him, but you certainly showed him believably. And he does have a 'saving people' thing. I also think you're right in saying that he would understand what Pansy's going through - I loved his line “Because I know what it’s like to not know when your next meal is coming from.”. It made me think of the chapter Snape's Worst Memory in OotP, because in that Harry could really identify with Snape - supposedly the 'bad guy'.

I also adored this paragraph - The world was supposed to have been a more tolerant place after the Battle of Hogwarts. Dozens of people had laid down their lives so that Mudbloods could walk freely amongst decent folk and be seen as equals. It just struck Pansy as ironic that, in this newfound freedom of theirs, the new world had seen fit to discriminate against its own kind in a different fashion. - I think that could very easily happen in post-war wizarding England because obviously some people have suffered immensely and want to blame someone. But ultimately it results in the same kind of prejudice which they fought against.

I thought Harry was very IC when he was talking about his guilt for those who died at the Battle, and I smiled at Pansy's thoughts, which also seemed very true to her character.

I liked how you redeemed her, but without turning her into a different person (I hope that makes sense).

And all because of an angry landlady, a cigarette, a tangerine, and a couple of ‘what if’s. - You really do know how to end a story! That was just the perfect ending for this... there's nothing else I can really say about it.

I also liked the idea about turning back the clock, and the way for Pansy things have reverted, in a sense, to the way they were, but nonetheless I think she is changed at least a little.

Just one little typo - you've written Eater to think about nearly anything else, (It's during their first 'date'), and I imagine you meant to write "Eager".

Anyway, loved the story despite initially being uncertain about the pairing. Great job!

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Well, considering this story was thrown together in, like, less than three days with little prior forethought...it's a miracle it isn't stupid, hehe. I had already written one in this exchange of a completely different nature, so I thought I'd try one that showed a bit more of the world. The thing I've noticed is that people are always intolerant about something or another, whether about heavier things like religion, politics, or morality, down to things like smoking, lifestyle choice, and clothing. We all do it, however much we might try not to do. And, as you said, I thought it would be very easy for post-Battle society to condemn anyone who was noted for pure-blood supremacy of any kind, no matter how little they had to do with the war. Harry knew what it was like to have people he didn't know pretend to know him and what he was like (both good and bad).

At any rate, after me ramblinb and staring at the page, I'll thank you for the lovely review and reiterate that I'm glad you liked it and thought it was plausible. Making a non-canon pairing believable is difficult, but yay that it didn't squick you. :D

~Jess

 

What You Wanted by Padfoot11333
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: In Tom Riddle's first Christmas vacation at Hogwarts, he is lonely.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1041 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/12/11 Updated: 11/18/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: What You Wanted

I love the premise of this story - I agree that it's most likely that Tom would stumble across the Room by accident. I also liked how he immediately concluded that only he could see the room - it just fits his character perfectly.

The idea that he was bullied because he didn't know his parentage is also very interesting becuase it makes you think more about why he became such a 'bully' (for want of a better word) later.

I loved the ending, with him meeting Avery and then you leading up to what he became - it wasn't overstated or melodramatic, but it just highlighted the importance of this moment.

I also think it's interesting that Tom thinks of Dumbledore a few times in this - even though Dumbledore is neither headmaster nor his head of house. But I think even at a young age, Tom would have been aware that Dumbledore watched him, and that Dumbledore was a man with more than normal power.

I only have one little comment - I felt like the part when Tom is thinking in the room could have been a little more concise - I think it's the climax of the story and just found it a little slow. But it's really only a small thing.

Otherwise it was a great read, and definitely in character.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this. I'm glad you liked it, and really glad that you found it in character since I struggled over that. ~Lily~

 

Safe House by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: Pansy Parkinson’s carefree world was toppled when she overheard her father’s murder and caught a glimpse of the killer. Forced into hiding by the Ministry, she is compelled to co-habitate with, of all the bloody people on the planet, Harry Potter. Can these two live together in cramped quarters without there being another murder, or can they find common ground that had eluded them since they last encountered one another?

Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 11041 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/19/11 Updated: 12/06/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/12/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

I actually finished this story a few days ago and didn't get to review... but here I go. As you can probably tell by my previous reviews, I love this story. It has a great mix of romance, humour and mystery. Also I loved teh solution to the story - I hadn't guessed Runcorn, but he really does fit the role and make sense, particularly considering how much fear he obviously inspires in people.

I think your characterisation of Harry is interesting in this story - I like how he's almost retreated into the Muggle world to hide, after obviously a very difficult break-up. I think that suits his character very much, after having coped in the spotlight for so long it's natural he'd want to retreat. I also liked how doggedly he watched Pansy, and how he genuinely cared for her.

As I said in a previous review, Pansy is a well-fleshed out character in this. I enjoyed her quips, but also how she coped in a difficult situation - in this chapter, she did have to be saved by Harry, but she wasn't completely helpless, which I really liked. And somehow you really made me believe this pairing. And that's coming from someone who doesn't usually read non-canon pairings...

I think you wrote the dialogue for all the characters really well and it really moved the plot along. I also liked how it was Pansy's perspective throughout the story... it really worked for this.

So great story in general!

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Yay! Well, I'm glad you liked the story, despite it not being something you would normally read. This was my first ever attempt to even mentally make Harry and Pansy work, let alone put it on a page. That it wasn't a disaster was nice. :)

One thing that has always bugged me about the typical stylings of the Post-Hogwarts universe is how Harry is portrayed. Sure, when he heads up the tower and dreams of a sandwich, he's on a bit of a surreal high, but what are the chances of him waking up and not realising that dozens of people are dead, many of whom he knows, and having the knowledge that he could've turned himself over before the battle and many of them might not have died at all? That sort of knowledge could destroy a lesser man and grind his soul into dust. Well, Harry's stronger than that, but he's still a human being. Every 'thank you' he received for his part in the war must have sounded so hollow and horrid in his ears, which I think would escalate to the point where he would want to live in around people who didn't know or care about his dubious celebrity.

This thought colours much of my work when I write Harry. I think he is capable of living a semi-normal life, but I also think it would be a long journey to get there. There's nothing to say that he didn't screw things up with Ginny for a while and end up in an inadvisable relationship. You notice that I didn't use an Epilogue Disregarded tag; it's because I don't think this ship could ever last, and this wounded Harry was always going to go back to Ginny. Pansy just needed to reintroduce him to the world of the living before that could happen.

Pansy is a fun character, and I should write her more. In a way, she's a lot like me personally, so it's easy to let a bit of me bleed onto the page and give her that extra bit of life.

I'll shut up now. As always, it is a pleasure discussing characters with you. Thank you for the read and review, and I hope to see you again soon!

~Jess

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/08/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I love this start to your story, Jess! The beginning seems so much like the Pansy we see in canon, in which her looks and looking better than others are all that matter. I think you did a great job at quickly shifting from the superficial to her actually being in danger.

I think this really allowed you to show a range of emotions from Pansy - she is clearly really concerned about her mother and sad about her father. So you've really made her into a three-dimensional character.

I love the element of mystery in this - I wanted to keep reading so much that I nearly forgot to review...

I liked your characterisation of Proudfoot - his way of talking and no-nonsense manner really fitted the position of Head of the Auror Department.

Anyway, I'll get on and read more now. It's a great start and I can't wait to read more :).

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Yay, you're back and even reading one of my weird non-canon pairing fics. Squeeee!

As we both probably know all too well, reality finds the sneakiest ways of knocking us down a peg. Poor Pansy's reality check was brutal :/ However, I think the kid's gonna be all right, lol.

Proudfoot is my go-to Head Auror until Harry takes over the position. He's appeared in a half dozen of my stories, usually pretty much the same as he is here. He's knowledgable, no-nonsense, tough, but in possession of an understanding of what makes people tick. Not only does it make him a good administrator, it made him one hell of an Auror. Moody could've learnt a few lessons from him.

~Jess

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/08/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

I liked this chapter a lot - you really blended humour really well with danger. There were moments when I almost laughed, and you very clearly showed the sexual tension between Pansy and Harry, but the story is also ominous. I particularly loved the end of the chapter for this reason - “Don’t know,” he said. “At least as long as it takes to take down your father’s killer.”

His words hung in the air, and Pansy had the dreadful feeling that it could take a long time before she saw the light of day again.
By this point I really started to empathise with Pansy, and yet at the beginning of the first chapter I didn't like her much and you've very quickly changed that. (I think I've stopped making sense here... the point is, Pansy is really well-characterised.)

I loved the scene when they arrived at Harry's house and Pansy broke down and Harry hugged her - I think it was beautifully written and worked really well within the plot, and it also showed another side of both of them.

I can't wait to keep reading... I'm loving it sofar.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I've never believed that people are the sum of their parts. Pansy is still that scared girl who was willing to hand over a classmate like a pig for slaughter; still the girl who picked on Hermione and her teeth; she's still the girl who sycophantically followed Draco because he was the best catch in their year. But no one is that empty and shallow. At first, it was hard to crawl around in her head and find things that could *possibly* make her attractive to Harry. But sometimes, being nothing one expects makes them a prime candidate to be everything one needs. Harry may not have fancied much of anything about Pansy, but he needed her to kick him in the arse and realise how pathetic he really was in his little hidey hole far away from everything.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of the story. :)

~Jess

 

Droobles Blowing Gum by Padfoot11333
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

Alice Longbottom has lost so much, but a Christmas day that she strives to remember may be the worst.

All that Alice can remember is that it was her son’s first Christmas.

Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill.

This is Padfoot11333 of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall-iday Challenge-Prompt 1: A Christmas to Forget.

Since it was the only story in its category, it couldn't win first place, but it did win 5 bonus points for excellence, which I am very proud of =)


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1078 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/04/11 Updated: 12/10/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: Droobles Blowing Gum

I love the premise of this story - I hadn't really thought much about whether the Longbottoms might have planned another child or even been pregnant, and I think you work this idea really effectively.

Also I think you pulled Alice off really well - it's always quite a challenge to write from such a character's perspective, but it really worked. I liked your explanation for the gum wrappers - that she's trying to trig Neville or Augusta's memory. - So in the hope that it will spark something in Neville, she gives him the bubble gum every time. But all it seems to do for Augusta is spark pain. I thought that was just put very well.

I loved the fragmented style at the end - particularly the part about Frnk and Alice wanting to name their next child after Lily and James, and then forgetting. That bit is just heartbreaking. I often think Neville is worse off than Harry when it comes to his parents, because to have parents who don't seem to recognise you would be awful. And by adding an unborn daughter you've just made the Longbottoms story so much sadder.

I loved the contrast of these two lines - When Frank nods, it’s like they’re sealing a promise. That they won’t ever forget James and Lily. and She’ll forget that she ever “promised” to remember James and Lily. .

I think you really nailed Augusta and Neville in their short appearances too, although I wasn't sure that Augusta would ever say anything about Neville's sister, because she wouldn't think it would affect his life. But other than that she was great.

Anyway, not sure why this story hasn't got any reviews yet, I thought it was great.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina, I love getting one of your reviews :) Thanks so much for being the first! People always say that I can totally pull off characters like Alice (I've written a Pius Thicknesse one shot, which was...interesting). This wasn't exactly the type of holiday story I think the barmaids were expecting, but I'm really glad you liked it. xx Lily

 

The Fold by welshdevondragon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Before Sirius, there was another Black sheep. Who would have thought she’d bring him back into the fold?

A Christmas Day Story.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Strong Profanity

Word count: 2314 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/11/11 Updated: 12/12/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

This is really fantastic, Alex - your characterisation of Sirius and Bella is really quite wonderful. Bella is such a manipulator - I loved the line Bella looks at him, and Sirius suddenly feels like he’s often imagined his chess pieces must feel, being appraised for its strategic use and pushed in directions against its will. But then this feeling goes as she bends down so their faces are level and speaks to him kindly. I think this really shows Bella - for a moment, Sirius sees that she's just manipulating and controlling him, but most of the time she is a great actress and, perhaps because of her own experience, knows to treat him more like an adult because she knows that will get a response from him.

I also loved the idea that the hat considered Gryffindor for her - or at least that she says it did. There is something very brave about Bella - I think all 3 Black sisters are quite different, because whilst Bella and Narcissa both remained "acceptable" and Andromeda didn't, they are vastly different. Narcissa never (well until DH when she saves Harry) seems to take matters into her own hands - she never becomes a Death Eater - and I always think of her as ordered, whereas there is something wild and chaotic about Bella - especially post-Azkaban, but it has to have come from somewhere. (Sorry, that was a long sentence.)

I also loved this paragraph - e’s always known his cousin was considered insolent and disliked but also respected by most of the family. Yet he can’t think where he’s got this idea from, other than a general impression of the way people behave around her. Thinking about it, most of the time, at family gatherings, he’s quite liked her, liked the way she sits and talks with him and Regulus, treating them as adults, likes the way she pokes fun at their older relatives. I think your explanation of how Bella's family would treat her is very realistic, and I also love the idea that Sirius looks up to her and likes her. As I've said before, she's a great manipulator and actress, and I think it would take Sirius a few more years to see through a little bit of it.

I think it's very in character that Sirius decided to leave on a whim and just runs out into the snow at age 12 - we all know he ran away at 16, but I think it's fascinating that he may have made an earlier attempt. I think Bella is especially able to manipulate him because at this moment he feels alienated and lonely. I also loved how you used the snow and the coldness to show this.

Present tense worked perfectly for this - it really put me in the moment with these two characters and it always flowed naturally.

When you do--” her voice begins to shake with excitement, something he has never heard before “--we will be great. Not our family. I love our name, and I wish to honour it, but we have become so pathetic. And we will be great, you and I. We will show them that we are greater than they ever expected us to be, and in ways they never thought people could be. Understand, Sirius?” - That line of Bella's reminded me a bit of Voldemort to Harry, which I think is an interesting connection, because even at this age Harry refused him. Although Harry had had far more guidance as to right and wrong by that point.

Anyway, in general I just loved all the characterisation and the way the story panned out - fantastic as usual!! (And I promise I will get around to finishing LAOS).

~Katrina

Author's Response: Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this. This story was written very quickly--I was, ha, trying to be more mainstream :) I really enjoy writing Bella, as you know, and it was interesting having her act with Sirius. I was rather pleased with myself for that line-I'm sure it's from someone else, but I've always imagined Bella as a great manipulator, as you said, who is very controlled most of the time, but Azkaban unhinged her somewhat from this.

I think Bella is definitely potential Gryff material-she wasn't lying. Ha, I don't mind long sentences- I'm guilty of them myself. The three Black sisters are very interesting--I miss writing Andromeda and Narcissa.

I have a vague idea of a follow up to this about Sirius and Bella's relationship, when he sees through her, so I may write that one day.

I liked writing about the cold. I was very cold at the time, and I had a very clear idea that it should seep through the story, so it's great that you picked up on that :) And I'm glad the present tense worked for this.

I think Bella, like Voldemort, wants to escape her family, and sees Voldemort as the way to do this. I hadn't thought of that connection, but that is interesting.

Anyway thanks so much for reviewing! And I was very glad you finished LAOS and really appreciated all the lovely reviews you left for me. Thank you. Alex

 

Summary: Sometimes, the past reminds you of how beautiful the future really is.


*Winner of the Fall 2013 HP Fanfic Fan Poll Award for Best Ron x Hermione Drama/Angst. Thank you!

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1165 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/15/11 Updated: 12/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: We'll manage

When I saw your name and the Ron/Hermione category, I thought I must have misread it, because I really wouldn't expect anything like this from you. But exactly as Lori said (and nothing I can say will be higher praise than that, as she is the queen of this category), considering what you think of Ron, you absolutely nailed his character and I think really showed the better side of Ron.

I loved the way you interspersed two completely different time periods in this - both moments are important in their relationship, but I liked how you didn't go for something cliched like their wedding, and rather just showed how they interact.

Also I loved the second person, and you really pulled it off - you really got inside Ron's head and allowed us to get in there as well, without it feeling at all awkward.

It is so simple to you, how to proceed. Make love, sleep in, possibly make love again, and remember why you got married in the first place while your children start their own lives. However, you know what response you will get to a statement like that, which would likely be a punch in the shoulder, so you settle on something that meets you both halfway.

“We’ll manage, love. We’ll manage.”
- Sorry to quote so much back at you, but really, does it get any better than that? I was going ot pick just a little bit to say it was my favourite, but I loved all of that. It had so much Ron and Hermione in it.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I have always thought a ship's defining moments are not the major ones, but strings of more mundane events. As everyone knows, life doesn't consist of pivotal moments; it consists of long strings of things we take for granted and rarely ever think about. Those are what make a relationship to me. So I picked important events in their relationship, but not the typical ones, like their wedding or their first night together. I suppose this is my way of showing that, if two people fundamentally fit together and can work, they're there for one another during the little times and let the bigger ones take care of themselves.

Anyway, thanks for the review. And I totally told Lori that you called her the Romione queen. :D

~Jess

 

A Christmas To Remember by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Scorpius Malfoy and Roxanne Weasley share gumdrops over three Christmas encounters. Eight years later, Roxanne does not remember anything except the gumdrops.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations

Word count: 5464 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/18/11 Updated: 12/18/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Christmas One-Shot

For a minute I thought you were going to leave it with her not remembering... but it is a Christmas story after all, and I'm glad it had this ending.

I loved the way you traced their relationship through gumdrops - it just added something beautiful to the segments and really connected them... and then how you tied that in with their daughter was lovely.

I liked how you slowly brought in details in the second half, so as a reader we were almost in Roxy's position - as in, you didn't say outright that they were married with a daughter - but of course we did have the advantage of knowing how they got together. But given the subject matter of the story, that worked really well.

I liked how you characterised Scorpius as a bookish 5th year prefect in Ravenclaw in the beginning - he didn't fit into a lot of the stereotypes people often write. Also I loved how his best friend was Fred - not Albus or Rose - and that Fred was actually also fairly bookish, not an exact replica of his namesake.

Also, great touches of detail that really added to the story - like George and Draco having a fight the day their granddaughter was born. I also liked how you included prejudice between the Weasleys and Malfoys, but didn't major on it - clearly between Scorpius and Roxanne it wasn't an issue, but it still caused problems between their families, which actually seemed very natural.

Anyway, loved the story and the characterisations of the main characters and I thought it was really well-written.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Katrina! I really appreciate the lovely review! I'm glad you thought some of the things here worked - I know we tend to write what we know, and we all know Draco so Scorpius tends to pop out quite similar to him. But he must have had a bit of his mum in him too, so maybe she was a bit more bookish, after all. And I see Fred's studiousness as just a different focus of his dad's obvious talent and strength with pranks and the shop. Couldn't you just picture George and Draco going at it after what happened in OotP? I'm sure it didn't make things easy for Scorpius and Roxanne, but like you said, it wasn't the focus of the story, just something to make it more real given what we know of their parents. Haha, I'm glad you liked the gumdrops because I've eaten so many of them lately, that's really how this all materialized! Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it, esp. since I felt like this next generation was a bit tough to tackle! ~Gina :)

 

Just a Boy by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary:

Who we are is seldom who we were or who we will be, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Sometimes, in special circumstances, we choose one and hold onto it because the alternative simply is not an option.

And so it was for Adam Mulciber and Mary MacDonald.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1658 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/11 Updated: 12/25/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/10/12 Title: Chapter 1: Just a Girl

This is another lovely story, Jess - I love your characterisation and even the idea for this story, I don't think I've read anything much about these characters and the incident which Lily refers to, and this was an interesting take on it.

I think what really comes through in this is that no-one is 'good' or 'bad'. but that we all have different priorities and different things we'd give up for something else (sorry that is worded terribly). I guess the thing I'm trying to say is that you can't really categorise people - which is why I love your ending - And this is how Mary Macdonald chooses to remember Adam Mulciber ” not as that Slytherin boy who broke her heart, nor as the Death Eater who had divested himself of his innocence so completely. He was just a boy, just Adam, and she was just a girl, just Mary. - Adam is not just a Death Eater or a Slytherin, he's a complex person with feelings and motivations.

I loved how you interspersed their past with the present and gradually showed their whole relationship and led up to that last moment.

This is unusual in your writing, but I found a few of the lines of dialogue a little clunky - for example “I can forgive you for what you did to me, but I don’t think I can get over why you did it. It’s good that you don’t hate me, I suppose, but I don’t know you anymore.” - The last bit seems a little tagged on and just didn't feel quite right, sorry I'm being so vague.

The rest of the writing was really great though - the feeling of cold and tension and less was really palpable throughout the story which worked really well.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

And here you are again. My prodigal reviewer! The f-list has marked your return with elation and praise, and I have been visited. I don't check my review page often anymore, since there's usually nothing on it. Meh, well...

When I wrote/posted this story, I admit to feeling sad it was seldom read and only had one review. But then I went back and read it and thought, "Well, hell. I wouldn't review this either." Sigh. I think I broke something I can't get back, and this story was part of that. There are few things I've written since we last met that I would deem fit for the praise you've mustered for this. I do love you for that. Just so you know. :D

This all sprung from a drabble and a story exchange. I just had this idea that there was something more to Mulciber/Mary that made his attack on her both more meaningful and more terrible. While it didn't really play out in the story, I felt like I needed to see what happened afterward played out in front of me before I could consider the plot bunny to be satisfied. This is what came out. It is, as you said, clunky. Truthfully, I don't think I even read over it before posting it because I was pretty sure it wouldn't improve no matter what I did to it. :/ I should really stop doing that.

Anyway, thank you for the review and the return visits. You are such as stellar reviewer and one of discerning tastes. A recent Great Hall challenge has produced a lot of great reading material, certainly better than this, but I will just say welcome back. You have been missed.

~Jess

 

D by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary:

 

Over fifty brave souls perished during the fight that took down You-Know-Who’s regime. However, not all of the victims of the clash that ended just this morning set foot on the grounds of Hogwarts last night. Numerous family members and friends will be spending these next weeks not celebrating, but planning funerals while raking up the pieces of their lives and wondering where they are supposed to go from here.
 

One boy was lost and alone -- looking for a lifeline, crying for help. But is anyone listening?


This story was nominated for two 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Dark/Angst Story and Best General Story.




Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 2771 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/27/11 Updated: 12/27/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/10/12 Title: Chapter 1: Dear Harry

Wow. I read this before knowing the song, and then listened to the song, and you've got me thinking so much that I can't really concentrate on what I should be doing...

So little is written about Dennis in fanfiction, and I'm so glad you brought his story out... even if it has a horrible end in this version. There is just so much sheer desperation in his letters - I loved this part How do you do it? Sometimes, it feels like someone ripped something out of me and it hurts to just breathe. I’ll go to sleep and have normal dreams, but then I’ll wake up and want to tell him about them. And then I remember that I can’t. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. Somehow I think it's a lot more effective that he doesn't have nightmares... just that he wants to share his dreams with Colin.

There's a lovely juxtaposition between Dennis' letters, where he feels like no-one cares, and the Daily Prophet articles, which first tell everyone to care for each other and later to help find Dennis. I think it's interesting that you mention survivor's guilt in one of the articles, because Dennis doesn't quite seem to be feeling that - as in that it's his fault Colin died, or that he could have prevented it in any way - but he still seems to feel his life isn't worth living anymore.

There is a strange (in a good way) amount of optimism in the letters, especially the first two, when Dennis really seems to engage with Harry's life and hope that Harry can help him and even believe that he will someday make it out of this mess, and I think that really shows Dennis - after all, few people are as optimistic and enthusiastic as Dennis and Colin (although I always thought Dennis may have been like this because of Colin and could easily swing the other way... anyway).

I loved this bit too - And Muggles truly do notice nothing. Every day, I’ve applied to jobs in various places and passed the same homeless bloke in the same alley several times per day, and no one has ever stopped to give him food or ask him if he was warm enough. I have done a couple times, and he looked at me like I was a nutter. I suppose I am at this point. - I think, as well as really showing us something about Dennis, it's a simple yet poignant comment on our society. I loved the way you used the line "muggles don't see anything" to refer to what we don't want to know about, rather than magic which we actually don't know about (if that makes sense?)

Could Harry have saved Dennis? I suppose so, and yet I find it hard to blame Harry entirely for it. He would have had so many letters from fans and probably would have seen his work as an Auror as far more important than reading and responding to all that... and at the same time, he would have hated even getting fan letters. I think that's the interesting thing in the song and this about celebrity - the fan letters aren't really for the sake of the celebrity, but for the fan. And as much as celebrities want to just be normal people (well at least Harry would), they aren't, and that is not what they represent to society. In Harry, Dennis sees someone almost superhuman, and yet someone he can also relate to, and also someone who connects him to Colin.

I loved the format - it's so much more effective than a straight narrative. The news articles really felt authentic - especially the Muggle one was very impersonal, while the Daily Prophet showed a society trying to recuperate.

The "Oh." at the end is just beautiful, even though as readers we already know what's going to happen, in that one word (well I guess it's not a word... sound then?) there's Harry's realisation and guilt and it works well. I liked the way you spaced it out as well.

There is so much I could say about this story, in my opinion it's one of your best (which is really saying something considering the qualibre of all your work).

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Wow, I’m really not good at responding to wonderful reviews. This one kind of asplodes my brain, I won’t lie. I am simply not equipped to handle your loveliness right now.

If I were to pick a fic to put amongst my best, I don’t think this one would’ve made the list or even the honourable mentions. But then, just about everything I write that I truly love ends up not on that list. I think why I put a lot into this story is because of the song. I remembered this song from when I was younger and remembered the haunting, obsessive quality of it. While I in no way thing Dennis is creepy, I think he needed something to obsess over in the state he was in, something all-consuming as he tried to deal with the loss of his brother, his own trauma, and essentially losing his father, as well. He was asked to be an adult before he was an adult, and it broke him. I wanted to mother him so badly. :/

The thing you mentioned about the dreams comes from personal experience. Nightmares are terrifying; waking up from one and not being able to put it out of your mind or, worse, distinguish it from reality is doubly so. I think Dennis found that being awake was worse than being asleep because he was smart enough to know that dreams ended and were not what one should be afraid of. What waited for him in real life was worse.

I do think that both Colin and Dennis were optimistic and exuberant. Just look at when Dennis ended up in the lake on his first day. He just stuck his arms up in the air like he’d just done something badass, rather than feel embarrassed. His actions in canon just suggest someone who is positive. And he was for a while. Then reality came and swatted it right out of him, and no one was there to brush him off and put him back in the right direction. I don’t know if Harry could’ve done that with a miracle, let alone a letter, but no one did anything at all. And that is just sad.

I did go a bit activist in this with both the gun and the mention of the homeless man and even Dennis himself. It just shows that we are all so wrapped up in our own problems that we unconsciously (or even consciously) write off others’ problems as not as important. Sure, we could go to a restaurant, eat too much, and take home the leftovers for breakfast. We could pass someone sleeping in a cardboard box and not once thing to offer them that extra food that we probably don’t need or could easily replace. It just doesn’t click in our heads. But Dennis, as someone who is suffering, albeit in a different way than that homeless man (or maybe not so different), sees it and all the hypocrisy surrounding it. It squelches his hopes and his general opinion on humanity more effectively than losing his brother, perhaps. And the most dangerous thing that we as a society can do is stop caring. It’s already happening in the world today, and in truly revolting ways. It might have even given Dennis the urge to take what he needed to survive rather than hope that human decency would afford it to him, because he didn’t see any of that decency.

Harry in this is deceptively complicated. I agree that he can’t be blamed for Dennis’s death. It is unreasonable to ask more of Harry than he has already given. He did die, after all, even if he did come back. But whose fault is it? The shop owner for owning a gun to protect his livelihood? The people who didn’t give Dennis the job he needed to make it? The people who were meant to look after him, only for him to appear fine outwardly? His teachers for not noticing he was hurting? His father for not being stronger after losing Colin? These are hard to affix with blame, because while none of them were singularly responsible, all of them were partially responsible. It’s undeniable that Colin died because of Voldemort, but who killed Dennis Creevey? Everyone, and no one. Could Harry have ‘saved’ Dennis? Perhaps, but if wishes were Horcruxes, then no one would ever die. :/

I don’t feel remorse for making Harry feel guilty in this. I think someone should feel guilty over what happened to Dennis, and as the one person Dennis had reached out to, the one who didn’t answer, Harry was as logical a choice as any. But it was important for people to know how Dennis died and why he died, even if ‘people’ is just Harry. Maybe a few people could put two and two together and work it out, but it would be my hope that Harry would let others know just how badly everyone had let down a boy who just needed a bit of guidance and someone to just be there for him.

Well, I’ve soap boxed for long enough. I’m so glad you picked up on some of the themes I sneakily planted in this. While I’m not sure this is one of my best, I think this is one of the more important things I’ve written in terms of social conscience. It’s not perfect, but I’m happy that you appreciated it. Thank you so much for your thoughtful review. ♥

~Jess

 

Glass by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Past Featured Story

It’s New Year’s Eve, and it’s the Potters’ turn to host this year’s party. Lily Luna Potter, however, has no idea that they are trying to set her up with a certain someone, despite the fact that Lily already has that certain someone, though her family doesn't know that...

This is babewithbrains of Ravenclaw, writing for the Great Hall-iday Challenge 2011, Prompt Three -- Operation: Mistletoe.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3653 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/28/11 Updated: 01/05/12


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/26/12 Title: Chapter 1: New Year's Eve, 2029

It's quite interesting that you wrote these 3 stories (this, Broken Glass and Highway to Regret) in reverse order... and I've read them in their chronological order. It kind of works both ways... I think the way I read it, I was never sure until the end of this that they really would stay together. Anyway.

I looooove the ending of this. I love that Louis is finally brave enough to 'come out' to the family, and to be honest, I think the family might have less issues with this relationship than Scorose haha. But I think it shows a great development in his character from the beginning.

Also the scene at the beginning between the two of them was so cute - haha you're really making me start to believe in this pairing. I also liked the development in Lily's character in terms of starting to believe she's beautiful, at least for Louis, because I think a body image issue can cause problems in a relationship - it's nice that at the end they both believe in each other and themselves.

I loved the idea that Lily told Victoire first - you've shown that Louis and Victoire are fairly close, so it adds something to have Lily and Victoire having that kind of relationship.

Also, thanks for welcoming me back - hopefully I'll actually have some new stories up soon too.

~Katrina

Author's Response: I'm at school at the moment, and I'm having to stop myself from squeeing out loud :D I'm so glad you liked this. At the time, I was going through a real slump in my writing, having just written Flicker and Fail in a complete rush and beating myself up about how crap it is, and then the Great Hall-iday Challenge cropped up. Although at the time, I didn't think I would enter, inspiration struck as I was looking at some of my 100-word drabbles I wrote for this pairing. (Basically, this pairing stemmed from a, erm, discussion we had over on the boards about cousin pairings. Someone expressed their distaste for stories where Weasley cousins were shipped together, and, well, I feel quite strongly about it, being someone with several close relatives who have married their first cousins -- in fact, I know a couple very, very well who have been married for the last twenty years. So the pairing began as a sort of rebuttal to that, as well as the fact that the dynamics of that kind of relationship really fascinate me, especially having read Carole's James/Dominique (Stars or Carousels) and Jess's Louis/Lucy (Never Let Me Go).)

That was a rather long explanation, lol. Oops. Anyway, I seem to always work better backwards -- I usually write the endings of stories first. My mind works in weird ways, hehehe. I'm glad I had that element of surprise, though :) Yay to you liking the ending. I think it was a bit too -- open, but I do hope to maybe write a follow-up (right now, I'm more concerned about converting this to OF and revising for my GCSEs -- eeeep). Rest assured, their coming out will not, um, be pretty :P

Yayyyyyyy, I think I've become slightly obsessed with this pairing, putting it lightly, so it's good to know you're convinced of the pairing, even with your qualms to begin with. I think it's easy to have this sort of pairing if you don't think of them as cousins in a relationship, but, rather, two people in love who just happen to be related. And yeah, as someone with body image issues, it was nice writing that bit, even if I am totally channelling Lily in the process, lol.

And I think Victoire is very astute, and she probably guessed at it anyway. Louis and Victoire are very close, so it made sense that Lily would be able to confide in her too.

Once again, I'm so glad you're back. I don't know what I've done to receive such loveliness :D

~Soraya~

 

The Highway of Regret by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

The storms are raging

on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret
*


Lily Luna Potter is tired of sneaking around with her lover, but when she asks him if they can live together, she is unexpectedly rebuked.

Meanwhile, Scorpius Malfoy is forced to choose between his girlfriend and his job, and things take a turn for the worst when she tells him of her decision.

What will happen when the two, by chance, meet under the influence of both liquor and rejection?

*Taken from Make You Feel My Love, written by Bob Dylan (but I prefer the Adele version :D)

This is babewithbrains of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge 2012.


:O This story has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Next Generation. Thank you!

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 7026 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/31/12 Updated: 02/23/12


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/25/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Rolling Sea

Well I'm reading this right after reading "Broken Glass" (what made me come and read this actually), and it's really fantastic. I hadn't even realised Lily was overweight in that... it adds a really different dynamic to this relationship, because in "Broken Glass" it's all about Louis being damaged and Lily helping him heal, and this shows another side. I loved the lines “Hey, we haven’t exactly found it a walk in the park either, you know,” Lily reminded him. “Your family was my family too.”

“You don't have to tell me that,” Louis said quietly. “I get told often enough. Now go on.”
- It just flowed really naturally and showed the problem in their relationship.

I liked how you put both these pairings in one story (okay, I know from your end notes that we're leading up to Scily), because you paralleled them really well.

I think Rose is interesting in this - at first I thought it was terribly selfish that she said she loved her job more than Scorpius, but in a way there's a brave honesty about that - I think we all like to think that love is the most important thing, but it can often play out differently in a practical sense.

Hmm anyway I'm going to stop here because this chapter was pretty short and I want to keep reading!!

~Katrina

Author's Response: You know, this is one story that I wasn't happy with at the time, but looking back on it, there are certain moments that make me smile. Perhaps it's not as bad as I thought :)

I think I wanted to have a different slant on Lily -- some stories have Lily as practically a clone of Ginny, which I don't think is right, but I think it's entirely plausible for Lily to have issues with her weight/size. I haven't come across many fanfics which really deal with the issue of body image, and I realised recently that I write about a lot of beautiful people (I know you haven't read it, but in Flicker and Fail, my Katie/Leanne story, both Katie and Leanne are just really pretty, and Scorpius and Rose in Blood and Roses are also gorgeous in my head), so this was my attempt to try and understand why I do that. And that's not to say Lily isn't beautiful -- to Louis, she is, and to a lesser extent, to Scorpius. It's more about perceptions, really.

I'm so glad you thought this flowed naturally! I love this pairing so much, to the point where I'm actually in the process of converting it to OF, so it's so nice to hear that you liked it :) Yes, Lily helped him heal, but Louis's insecurities and fears always seem to show, sadly.

I am anything but a Scily shipper, so naturally I would have a different slant to the pairing from others, lol. This is for the GH Cotillion, and while I don't think it could win anything, if there were an Anti-OTP award, I could get maybe third place if I'm lucky, hehehehe.

The idea of Rose loving her job more than Scorpius comes from the Mentalist, where a similar relationship takes place -- they're not allowed to be together, and when faced with the choice of whether or not they were going to stay together, the woman decides that she'd rather not be responsible for her boyfriend losing her job. I seem to be inspired by the Mentalist a lot, as well as Adele, lol. I wonder why...

I'm so glad you didn't hate this. I certainly did :P Seriously, thank you so much for the review.

~Soraya~

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/25/12 Title: Chapter 2: The Evening Shadows

This is a great second half to the story! This is actually a lot less Scily than I expected after your end notes on chapter 1... I mean, they were both drunk (especially her) and regretted it afterwards. Anyway, I liked that Lily and Louis made up, but I wonder how Lily is going to cope with the guilt she feels now and the problems that might cause between her and Louis.

It's a small thing, but I liked how protective Harry was of Lily - certainly annoying for her, but very much in character for him.

I think Scorpius gets the worst deal in all this... and he's such a decent guy too. The small fragment when Scorpius gets to work late is really well-done, and I felt so bad for him. Obviously Rose still has feelings for him, and he can see that, which makes it harder for him to try and move on.

Also, from some of your notes and responses to reviews, you seem to think that this isn't very good... I think you underestimate your writing. The characters, writing, dialogue... it's all really good.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Yeah, it wasn't really very Scily, lol. But I was bound by my OTP card, and I knew I couldn't split Louis and Lily up. Besides which, yes, they were both drunk, and they were both dealing with rejection in a way. And, of course, they didn't actually have sex. :P

I actually had Harry as more protective of Lily, but Alex and Carole suggested I tone it down a little, as Lily is nineteen in this, and therefore old enough to make decisions/go out/etc on her own without her parents' permission. So I'm glad you liked it -- I do think he would allow his kids some freedom, but not as much as Lily would want, lol.

Scorpius *is* a decent guy, and he will always have feelings for Rose. Whether or not they'll get back together remains unknown for the time being :) I'm glad you liked that section -- one of my betas said I should include some kind of follow-up with Scorpius, as Lily's story is kind of given closure, but not Scorpius's. Hence this scene.

I thank you for the wonderful compliment, Katrina, but I honestly don't think my writing is all that. I occasionally have a burst of inspiration that results in a story I like, but apart from that, I think my writing is kind of average. It means so much to me that you said that, though, so thank you :)

These reviews have really, really brightened up my day. I'm so honoured to have been reviewed by you thrice (I seriously do not deserve such loveliness), and like I said before, welcome back. :D

~Soraya~

 

Picture of You by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Past Featured Story

A photograph and a slew of memories were all that remained of Remus Lupin's schoolboy romance with Marlene McKinnon. But she was gone, and he gagged on all the things he never said.

This story is dedicated to the gorgeous and always-inspiring Equinox Chick/Carole/Croll of the Dungeon. May your minions never stray in their worship of you. It was inspired by a rather gorgeous song by The Cure, called Pictures of You.


This story has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Marauder Era.




Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1179 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/17/12 Updated: 02/17/12


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/10/12 Title: Chapter 1: Hold for the last time, then slip away quietly

So you're probably feeling now like I'm spamming you with all these reviews... basically I haven't read any fanfic for a while, so I'm reading most of what you've written in the last few months...

I loved this. I loved the present tense and past tense - you used them so well that I hardly noticed the shift for the memories, and while present tense can often sound clunky/unnatural, it flowed perfectly here.

I loved the bit when Remus tried to obliterate the dark mark - for some reason it made me think of that scene in the fifth movie when Sirius dies and Remus holds Harry back from going through the veil - although possibly this was more poignant, because Harry can be quite hot-headed, whereas Remus practically never loses it.

I love the background this gives for Remus/Tonks too - it seems very likely that Remus would have loved someone before her, and that adds to his hesitancy - after all, he may have more obvious reasons than most, but I think he's just afraid of being hurt - and if he's been hurt in that way before, it makes more sense.

The scene when Marlene essentially proposed was so well-written - I could really feel the whole mood slip from happy to broken just in that short scene.

Even though this is short and as much about Remus as Marlene, you really developed her character well, considering the books don't give us much. I also liked how, because this is told in Remus' eyes, she seems perfect, when presumably there would be more to her.

Anyway, I really loved this story.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Spam away, dearie. I will ogle every word hungrily, like a starving vegetarian at a salad bar. And, as it's nearly 7am and I should really sleep, I will apologise for the crappiness of that simile.

This is one thing I was really happy with after I finished and am still happy with now. I don't get that sensation often, so I was glad that I could write this as a pick-me-up for Carole.

When starting this, I had a vivid image of Remus tearing a photograph but immediately realising his mistake as soon as it's done. He needed that connection to Marlene to cope with her death, but his inability to cope had destroyed it. And yes, it does indeed explore Remus's irrational reluctance to pursue any relationships. While his lycanthropy never actually killed Marlene, or his not telling her, he would look and look for a reason to blame himself for it to the point where he might as well have done. That's all it takes.

I think one of the reasons why Remus is so measured in his grief later on is because of this (in my head canon). He's seen that ranting and carrying on does nothing but make one do things one regrets. Like mauling the one last piece left of someone beloved.

Anyway, me = rambling; you = superior to none other for visiting my page. I actually had a thought while writing this that it would be right up your alley. I can't say it for certainty, but I'm glad you liked it. Thank you again for your support. :D

~Jess

 

Nostalgia by welshdevondragon
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary:

Only the sunset knows
My blind desire for the fleeting
Only the moon understands
The beauty of love when held by hand
Like the aura of nostalgia


Nostalgia: From the Greek, meaning, ‘the pain from an old wound.’ Stephen and Beatrice Granger are many thousand miles away from home, and have the vague sense that they’ve left something, or someone, behind.

Lyrics above quoted from the beautiful song Nostalgia by Emily Barker and the Red Clay Halo.

This is welshdevondragon writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 2645 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/24/12 Updated: 02/24/12


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/09/12 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Yet another lovely story, Alex. Firstly I really liked how you did your research and brought Melbourne to life, especially including the trams (although to suggest that a Melbourne winter is as warm as a British summer is a little exaggerated) - bringing the setting in like that really enhances the story, especially in one like this where place is really important to the characters.

I love this concept - after all, as powerful as Hermione may be, completely erasing herself from her parents' life would have taken an awful lot of power and perhaps she didn't quite pull it off. The whole idea of feeling loss for something you can't remember is really interesting, and you show it really well here. There's an unresolved and unsettled feeling throughout the story - starting with the first line Beatrice was walking down the street, clinging her shawl tightly around her arms as protection against the evening breeze., which suggests subtly that something isn't quite right.

I also love the subtlety of this story - you don't always make the tension really obvious, and it is balanced by the enduring relationship between Beatrice and Stephen.

Just one thing - I thought Beatrice's memory of Stephen saying 'don't swear in front of the baby' was a bit obvious, and she didn't really seem to follow up on it - she acted to me like someone with memory loss, not someone who can't remember a specific thing... if that makes any sense? Anyway, it's just a small thing.

Otherwise I really loved this :).

~Katrina

 
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