Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione
 

Summary: When half of a whole is lost, how can the remainder sum up a life of laughter?

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity

Word count: 1090 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/07/11 Updated: 10/12/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Epitaph - Fred Gideon Weasley

This is excellent, as are all the others in this series. In a sense it's quite different, as it's the only one from George's perspective and, even though he's suffering perhaps more than anyone else, it doesn't feel as dark.

I think you nailed George's character - and I loved the Epitaph, I do think it is something George would do. I think he's unable to put his feelings into words about Fred and so it really works to go back to the humour that they enjoyed together.

I smiled at the comparison to Romeo and Juliet... I was somewhat surprised that George would know a Muggle story, but then he can be surprising with the things he knows. It also tied Angelina into the story beautifully. I thought you did a great job with her and her connection to Fred.

I loved bits like this Oh, Medusa’s armpit hair! - that really felt in character for George, even though he's going through a horrible time.

What about epitaphs for Remus and Tonks? Or perhaps Colin? I think they could all be interesting.

Anyway, even if you don't write anymore, I've loved the series and will look out to read more of your work.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for yet another of your frankly inspiring reviews. There's a part of me that's itching to write another epitaph to tempt you to review again. You're probably right that it isn't as dark. Every time I tried to make George sound terribly depressed, and dejected, my muse threw in a joke, and when it came down to it, the jokes seemed more George than anything else, partially as a way of 'escaping' the reality of what has happened. In regards to Romeo and Juliet, Arthur is a lover of all things Muggle, and I find it difficult to imagine that he wouldn't have stumbled upon one the Great Bard's most well known works. Thank you for the suggestions on epitaphs, I have a list stored on my computer of suggestions that have been made, which are all capturing my imagination to various degrees, and there are images now drifting over my mind of a camera laying on a grave, and the like. I can't, however, make any promises but just keep an eye out, I asked for suggestions because I'd love to write more. Thank you again for the review!

 

Key of the Door by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: At the age of twenty, Ron Weasley has a good career, a wonderful girlfriend and a flat of his own. But when he wakes up one morning, shortly before his twenty-first birthday, nothing can quite dispel the gloomy cloud that's been stalking him.

Could a long lunch in the Leaky Cauldron rid him of this malaise?

This story has been written as a twenty-first birthday present for Hannah/Bob (coolh5000) who is one of the most wonderful people in the world.

Thank you to Natalie for beta'ing, Kara for the line about the Knight bus and Julia for the 'firecrotch'. (I hope you like Ron's revenge for the slur)

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. She has the talent; I have the temerity to nick her characters.



Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 6836 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/17/11 Updated: 10/17/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Even though this is a fairly common basic plot (the Ron leaving the Auror department and going to work for George part), this story felt really unique. As other reviewers have said, your characterisations are really fantastic.

I loved seeing a George who has clearly suffered and been through a lot, but who has also found something he loved and really moved on with his life.

I also really enjoyed how you portrayed Ron and George's relationship - while they were at Hogwarts, Ron seemed to be a common victim of Fred and George's pranks and they riled him a fair bit, so it was great to see that they've moved beyond this. I particularly loved this line “I think it comes of being a Weasley and living with two brothers who plagued the life out of you.” from George - it was humorous, but still a recognition of the past.

I loved your Hermione, even though she only makes a small appearance. I thought it was typical Ron that he'd expect her to tell him off for leaving the Auror department, and typical Hermione to have been perceptive enough to see he was unhappy and of course to immediately offer to help him find someting else.

I thought you also did a great job with Hannah, as to be running a bar she obviously matured well beyond the 15-16year old who had panic attacks. Also, as much as I believe in a 'reformed' Malfoy, it is nice to see him just being a git sometimes... and getting what he deserves.

And last, but not least, your characterisation of Ron was just absolutely spot on the whole way through.

So all in all, this was a very enjoyable read :).

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrinaaaaaa! Thank you very much for the review. I enjoyed writing this story because I don;t write a great deal of Ron but I love him as a character in the books. I'm pleased you liked the characterisation and thought they were all IC. I have a problem when George is always depressed post-battle. I know he would never have been quite right after Fred died, but he's too much of a Weasley Twin to be permanently depressed.

I like Draco redemption fics as well, but I get the feeling he'd never change in Ron's eyes and would always be a git in front of him. Plus, I like git Draco as well - hee hee.

Thanks again for the review. It is much appreciated. ~Carole~

 

Brother Mine by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary:

When Regulus steps into the cave by the sea, he knows it is a mission that could very well be the end of him, but it is in something he has lost that he finds the strength to do what is right and not what is easy.


This story was nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Dark/Angst.




Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 900 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/18/11 Updated: 10/18/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

As I think all the other reviewers of this story have said, definitely Adore! Regulus is wonderfully characterised and fleshed out, even though this is a very short story.

While I have finally found a cause worth dying for, he will have forever defeated me in finding a cause worth living for. I really really loved that line - it was a beautiful contrast, but I think it also shows a similarity between Regulus and Sirius which works perfectly for the end of this story.

I spy the glint of tears on the old elf’s face, and it gives me a rush of affection for this dire-looking creature who I had stupidly offered up to the Dark Lord as a beast of inconsequence. I also loved that line - you've done a great job with Kreacher's characterisation in this story as well. Kreacher usually responds to those who are kind to him, and so obviously Regulus had paid him more attention than others in the family, but his reverence for Voldemort got in the way of that.

As I said earlier, I think you did a great job of showing both the similarities and differences between the two brothers and this was a perfectly written story.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I need to write more things, since I have missed your reviews greatly. I'm glad you liked the story, because I was initually reserved about adding it when it was so short, but sometimes shorter is better. Its original draft was nearly 1500 words, but I actually cut it down to 900 because it flowed so much better.

With the first line you quoted, it was actually one of the first things I wrote on the page, and I put everything else around it. Since this was originally meant to be 500 words, the short version was chopped to bits, but that was the one line I couldn't lose. 

Anyway, thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you liked the story, and I'm glad you're back. :D

~Jess

 

Awake My Soul by Ascendio
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

Your best friend was back, and really back this time.


Remus reflects on Sirius being back home.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mental Disorders, Mild Profanity

Word count: 1531 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/18/11 Updated: 10/25/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a great story, I think you did a great job of handling second person, present tense and grasping these two characters.

I liked how, in a way, although Remus was telling the story, it's almost more about Sirius... or equally as much about both of them. The second person really put me in Remus' position and made me consider what it would be like to have Sirius as a friend.

I loved how you showed two sides of Sirius - on one hand, he remains his old jokey self, or at least he tries to. I loved his comments to Remus about Tonks, I think that really showed that underneath what he has suffered, he is still Sirius and Remus is a close friend.

I adored this paragraph - You become aware of his hands. Those tremors, those ever present trembling fingers were not there before. You notice the way that if the window is open, if a whoosh of wind is heard, your old friend seizes up, closing his eyes, bracing himself against chills of a nonexistent Dementor. You take in the way that at loud noises, if someone yells in surprise, Sirius will cover his ears, blocking out his old inmates screams. (Perhaps you could say "fellow inmates' screams", as they were inmates of Azkaban, not Sirius - also you missed the apostrophe.) I think it's great how you dwell on the small things, like the trembling of his hands, because it is really in those things that you can see the change. That paragraph in particular created the idea of a haunted man, perhaps on the edge of insanity, and it worked very well.

Guess they needed a bit more than love in their case. You stare at him, and he avoids your eyes. I'm just saying that they would have benefitted a lot more with a knife to Wormtail's throat than any more bloody love. - That line was so in character for Sirius and really showed the sort of mood he was often in during OotP, when obviously the loneliness and the uselessness he felt got the better of him.

And finally the last section - that is just glorious. I love how you rely on dialogue for it, whilst there is no dialogue in the rest of the story. The rest of the story feels a little reflective, even though it's in present tense, whereas in the final section I was right in the excitement of the moment. Plus it's just such a Marauder-ish thing to do. It was just the perfect ending for the story - particularly this line "Well, it means we're bloody incredible so we're going to live forever.".

I have just a little bit of criticism:
This line - It’s after a conversation with Arthur Weasley that you see it. Arthur had asked about Sirius, wondering how he was doing. The phrasing just felt a little awkward, perhaps you could just get rid of the second sentence, I think the story would make sense without it.

Also just one time you slipped into past tense - It was after the conversation that you watch Sirius more carefully, - it should be "It is..."

Anyway, I really did love this story, I think it really captured the essence of Remus and Sirius and what became of them.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review Katrina! Yes, I didn't realise while writing it, but I guess I really had to delve more into Sirius's personality then Remus's, the fic really is more Sirius-centric, even if it is from Remus' point of view. I went back and fixed the errors you mentioned, thanks for pointing those out, I also agree with the awkward phrasing, I took your advice and got rid of the second sentence. Thanks for the praise on the last part, though it tore me apart inside, I really enjoyed writing it. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

 

Incorrigible by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: It's Halloween and the Head Boy and Head Girl are stuck in the greenhouses for detention. Will they escape the clutches of the deadly Devil's Snare…or worse, one another?
A lighthearted tale for Halloween, not to be read in the greenhouse.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 6761 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/28/11 Updated: 10/28/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This really is fabulous... you write such wonderful James/Lily stories, and even though each one is quite different, you seem to nail their characters every time.

The banter between them was very funny - as Carole said, you did a great job with the Sirius joke - but also very natural. The way this story relied a lot on dialogue to tell it and to show their characters really worked.

I loved the ending - I almost burst out laughing, and it tied in really well with the title and the opening.

So basically - I just really enjoyed this story!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ooh, I'm glad the Sirius joke worked, one never knows with that, lol. And I'm glad that in spite of my growing J/L oevre, I can still write something slightly different from my others and keep them in character as well. I do love writing them and their banter, you know. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

 

Harry's First Halloween by lucca4
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary:

It's Harry's first Halloween, but the raging thunderstorm prevents an overly eager Lily from taking him out to trick-or-treat. Instead, she, James, and Sirius spend one of their last carefree moments together.


.·ˆ¯)...(¯ˆ·.
¸.·ˆˆˆ(ºvº)ˆˆˆ·.¸
m m

Happy Halloween, MNFF!


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1467 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/31/11 Updated: 11/02/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: 31 October 1980

This was a very enjoyable story - it was light, but also excellently written. Your characterisations of all three were fantastic and the dialogue really seemed to flow between them seamlessly and naturally.

I think this was just a beautiful moment to capture - as other reviewers have said, there is a bittersweet tone to it, especially in the line “We’ll take him out next year,” James promised, stretching an arm across her shoulders. “All of us - I refuse to let Remus and Peter take our holiday shifts next year.” - because of course we all know where they all are the next year. But nonetheless, I think you really showed their happiness despite the war. This story is a lovely reminder that these three characters were young and could enjoy themselves, despite the tragedy which later surrounds them.

Also, I loved all the humour in this - particularly the swearing - it was amusing but also felt very natural for the characters to be saying.

Anyway, I think I'm starting to repeat myself... this was a thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining read!

~Katrina

Author's Response: I squee-ed when I saw I got a review from you :). Thank you so much for commenting on the story - I'm glad you thought the characterization and humor were nice, especially humor because I feel like that's where I struggled the most. I'm also happy you thought it wasn't entirely sad; I wanted it to be more of an uplifting story in seeing how the Marauders weren't always shrouded by darkness and death. Thank you again for your lovely review! xx Ariana

 

Killer by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Who killed Lily and James Potter?

Who betrayed them? Who nearly killed their baby?

I did.

I, Severus Snape, killed them.

I, Sirius Black, killed them.

I, Peter Pettigrew, killed them.

And I'll tell you how.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 882 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/03/11 Updated: 11/14/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Killed Them

I agree a lot with your previous reviewer - Sapphire at Dawn. Overall this fic was powerful and very unique - the way you interwove the stories' of these four characters was seamless and really connected them together.

The dialogue and inner monologue were very effective tools for telling this story - it made the action happen quickly and you really got inside all the characters' heads. I thought your Sirius was your strongest character, particularly his conversation with James - the dialogue-only style of that part worked perfectly.

I think your Peter and Severus were fairly well-characterised, although they didn't quite shine the way sirius did. With Severus, I liked how you showed him going from eagerness to serve Voldemort to regret - the progression was done realistically.

As Sapphire at Dawn also said, I find your Voldemort a bit OOC - he trusts no-one and is an intensely private person, therefore I don't think he would ever have told anyone that he chose Harry because he was the most similar to him - I think this is only something Dumbledore deduced. I always thought he would say to the Death Eaters that he chose the Potters because it was less waste of magical blood. Also when Voldemort was talking to Peter, I think it might be better if you cut a bit of his dialogue - perhaps leave it at “Excellent, Wormtail.” He paused. “I must admit that I doubted your merit when you first joined me… but now you have proved your worth, Wormtail..

I loved the way you finished, particularly the "I am a killer" line - it tied the whole story together really well.

Anyway, well done for attempting this sort of style - it must have been difficult to write, and yet it isn't confusing to the reader.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I realize that Sirius is the best, but that's because my notebooks are filled with practice. I'm stilling trying to find the right Peter and Snape, and as for Voldemort, it's a definite work in progress. I'm glad you enjoyed the style, though I'll confess it isn't difficult to write. It just sort of happened. Thank you for reviewing!

 

Black and White by Eleanor Lupin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: For Narcissa Malfoy, things have always been black and white. Her life plotted out with no room for change. But as she kneels next to the not-so-dead body of Harry Potter, she has to choose between what is right and what is easy.
And its not as easy a choice as it used to be.


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 985 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/05/11 Updated: 11/09/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Courage Shines

This story is an interesting concept, and I think you did a great job of showing exactly why Narcissa made that choice. I think it's an interesting choice, and as with many other things in canon, ultimately it comes down to love.

My favourite line is definitely this - Maybe I had more in common with them than I thought. I think that's really an idea that could go both ways, and it's often something that comes up in war, when those fighting recognise that their enemies are simply human. And I loved how you connected it through Tonks, and through the idea of having a son for whom you would die.

I thought the idea that Narcissa hated dead bodies and almost seems repulsed by death is very interesting. In general I think she's an interesting character, because as far as we know, though she had ties with the Death Eaters, she never joined like Bellatrix did, and I think in this story you really show why not. Because I think Narcissa has experienced love in a way her eldest sister never has, which is why I think the idea of death repulses her. This line was great - Maybe I had more in common with them than I thought.

Somehow I think this story would have worked even better in present tense (not that I imagine you'll change it because that takes a considerable amount of time), just because of the immediacy of Narcissa's thoughts, although that is just m opinion.

Anyway, it was an enjoyable read, and you really fitted it around canon very well.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I loved that line too when I wrote it. I agree with what you've said about Narcissa, Bellatrix feels very blasé about death because she's never had anyone who she truly cares about, and can't even imagine what it would feel like to lose someone close to her because it's simply not a possibility. However, Narcissa has a family she loves and can't imagine losing, so that combined with her sister's cavalierness about death and such is what gave her a bit of a phobia of death, corpses and such. Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad you liked it!

 

Summary: A stern resolve envelops those who prepare for the Battle of Hogwarts.


This poem has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 112 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/05/11 Updated: 11/05/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

As you know, I'm not generally a huge poetry fan... but you do really write some fantastic poetry! And you're right, I think poetry really does work for the battle.

I loved the whole thing, but especially the final couplet, because I think it really showed the spirit of those who fought in the battle.

You really combined a lot of different emotions here... on one hand, it felt uplifting, but also sad, like with the line For others, it will be their night to die which just reminded me of the horrors of the battle.

Also the rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Yay, you're back!

I like the fact that I can write poetry you enjoy without being a poetry expert or connoisseur. Personally, I'm not much of a poetry reader, but I'm a fan of imagery and emotive writing. The cool thing about poetry is that you can do that but NOT cake it in hidden meaning and layered themes. Sometimes, it's ncie to just write someting simple yet powerful. :)

Anyway that = ramble from me. Thank you muchly for returning to my author page.

~Jess 

 

All That's Left by iLuna17
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Then I saw Mum and Dad’s faces. It was the first time I had ever seen our father cry. And just like that, my already shattered heart split again. You broke our father, Al. Even Voldemort couldn’t do that. Dad looked like someone had stabbed him in the stomach, then twisted the knife for good measure. He and mum, they raised you, raised you to be strong, and you let them down. You failed them. You were a coward. A coward who broke our father.




Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 3186 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/07/11 Updated: 11/14/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: All That's Left

Perhaps it was just your comment at the beginning, but this story made me think of Alex's stories (and I mean that to be a very high compliment). You handle suicide so well in this, and something about the characterisation and subject matter just reminded me of her. Anyway.

Using James' perspective was an excellent idea, and I liked how you developed his character and his relationship with Albus. I liked how you showed them as almost opposing - Gryffindor and Slytherin, one not great with emotions and the other a great helper etc. James' character was certainly strong enough to sustain a fairly long inner monologue, and the story never dragged at all.

Albus was characterised so well, and differently to what I've read in the past. Often he's depicted as a Neville-like character, who finds his courage, or even a Hermione-ish type character, and I loved how you made him unique. I thought it was an interesting twist that Scorpius was in Gryffindor, and that Al, Rosie and Scorpius were all close friends - the connection to the trio was well-chosen and interesting. I liked how James thought of the bullying Al endured and the guilt James also feels, mixed with anger and sadness.

I thought James' progression of emotions worked really well - particularly his resolution at the end. Even though this fic works very well as a whole, there is definitely potential for an intriguing sequel.

I'm not quite sure what I think about the ending part - in a way I think the story might be more powerful without it - the line "That's not enough" would be a lovely ending, and I had certainly guessed that Albus was murdered, having seen James' description of him, and it would perhaps also leave the reader thinking more of how you can know someone and not know them simultaneously (if that makes sense). But it is well-written and does finish the story off... so sorry I'm sitting on the fence about that one.

And just one little timing thing - in the Epilogue, Albus is starting his first year and James is only starting his second, so the boys are only 1 school year apart.

Anyway, this was a poignant, reflective, thoughtful, well-written story.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the amazing review. Alex: I'm assuming you mean welshdevondragon, yes? She was my beta, and she really helped me develop this story. I love her fics, and it was a real honor working with her, and it did remind me kind of about her fic where Lily's friend Jill kills herself. I love portraying James and Al. I think there's so much to work with, and I always pictured Al as a Slytherin, though I don't know why. I just think he's different, and that's how I write him. James: He was hard to develop. Alex said the most "real" moment was when he clenched his fist, and I agree. The revenge thing also seems like something the James in my head would do, and it adds emotion. The Ending: I'm glad you realized the true death of Al, most didn't. So props for that! :) Also, I thought it was an interesting twist, something to give the reader something more to think about, and the Albus bit was not in the first few (hundred) drafts, but I think it kind of works. I thought that as well, but some say it's different. I'll go fix it, and thanks for catching it! Thank you so much for the review, it really means a lot, especially with this story. Alex and I spent a good chunk of time working with it, and I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for the review! Ellie

 

Summary: A lot of people had found themselves bereft after the war, but Pansy Parkinson had never expected that she would be one of them. But a bizarre encounter and an impromptu dinner date served to change not only her fortunes, but her hopes of earning a little bit of redemption, as well.


This story has also been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Non-Canon Romance Story.



Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Profanity

Word count: 5840 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/09/11 Updated: 11/09/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: ---

Hi Jess,

I have to admit I was a little nervous about reading it... I think I might have come across a Harry/Pansy story before and found it completely OOC. But really I shouldn't have worried, knowing that you're a fantastic author who can really make me believe the most unbelievable situations.

The most amazing thing about this was that Harry and Pansy were completely in character. Harry was perhaps not how I'd imagine him, but you certainly showed him believably. And he does have a 'saving people' thing. I also think you're right in saying that he would understand what Pansy's going through - I loved his line “Because I know what it’s like to not know when your next meal is coming from.”. It made me think of the chapter Snape's Worst Memory in OotP, because in that Harry could really identify with Snape - supposedly the 'bad guy'.

I also adored this paragraph - The world was supposed to have been a more tolerant place after the Battle of Hogwarts. Dozens of people had laid down their lives so that Mudbloods could walk freely amongst decent folk and be seen as equals. It just struck Pansy as ironic that, in this newfound freedom of theirs, the new world had seen fit to discriminate against its own kind in a different fashion. - I think that could very easily happen in post-war wizarding England because obviously some people have suffered immensely and want to blame someone. But ultimately it results in the same kind of prejudice which they fought against.

I thought Harry was very IC when he was talking about his guilt for those who died at the Battle, and I smiled at Pansy's thoughts, which also seemed very true to her character.

I liked how you redeemed her, but without turning her into a different person (I hope that makes sense).

And all because of an angry landlady, a cigarette, a tangerine, and a couple of ‘what if’s. - You really do know how to end a story! That was just the perfect ending for this... there's nothing else I can really say about it.

I also liked the idea about turning back the clock, and the way for Pansy things have reverted, in a sense, to the way they were, but nonetheless I think she is changed at least a little.

Just one little typo - you've written Eater to think about nearly anything else, (It's during their first 'date'), and I imagine you meant to write "Eager".

Anyway, loved the story despite initially being uncertain about the pairing. Great job!

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Well, considering this story was thrown together in, like, less than three days with little prior forethought...it's a miracle it isn't stupid, hehe. I had already written one in this exchange of a completely different nature, so I thought I'd try one that showed a bit more of the world. The thing I've noticed is that people are always intolerant about something or another, whether about heavier things like religion, politics, or morality, down to things like smoking, lifestyle choice, and clothing. We all do it, however much we might try not to do. And, as you said, I thought it would be very easy for post-Battle society to condemn anyone who was noted for pure-blood supremacy of any kind, no matter how little they had to do with the war. Harry knew what it was like to have people he didn't know pretend to know him and what he was like (both good and bad).

At any rate, after me ramblinb and staring at the page, I'll thank you for the lovely review and reiterate that I'm glad you liked it and thought it was plausible. Making a non-canon pairing believable is difficult, but yay that it didn't squick you. :D

~Jess

 

What You Wanted by Padfoot11333
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: In Tom Riddle's first Christmas vacation at Hogwarts, he is lonely.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1041 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/12/11 Updated: 11/18/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: What You Wanted

I love the premise of this story - I agree that it's most likely that Tom would stumble across the Room by accident. I also liked how he immediately concluded that only he could see the room - it just fits his character perfectly.

The idea that he was bullied because he didn't know his parentage is also very interesting becuase it makes you think more about why he became such a 'bully' (for want of a better word) later.

I loved the ending, with him meeting Avery and then you leading up to what he became - it wasn't overstated or melodramatic, but it just highlighted the importance of this moment.

I also think it's interesting that Tom thinks of Dumbledore a few times in this - even though Dumbledore is neither headmaster nor his head of house. But I think even at a young age, Tom would have been aware that Dumbledore watched him, and that Dumbledore was a man with more than normal power.

I only have one little comment - I felt like the part when Tom is thinking in the room could have been a little more concise - I think it's the climax of the story and just found it a little slow. But it's really only a small thing.

Otherwise it was a great read, and definitely in character.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this. I'm glad you liked it, and really glad that you found it in character since I struggled over that. ~Lily~

 

Safe House by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: Pansy Parkinson’s carefree world was toppled when she overheard her father’s murder and caught a glimpse of the killer. Forced into hiding by the Ministry, she is compelled to co-habitate with, of all the bloody people on the planet, Harry Potter. Can these two live together in cramped quarters without there being another murder, or can they find common ground that had eluded them since they last encountered one another?

Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 11041 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/19/11 Updated: 12/06/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/12/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

I actually finished this story a few days ago and didn't get to review... but here I go. As you can probably tell by my previous reviews, I love this story. It has a great mix of romance, humour and mystery. Also I loved teh solution to the story - I hadn't guessed Runcorn, but he really does fit the role and make sense, particularly considering how much fear he obviously inspires in people.

I think your characterisation of Harry is interesting in this story - I like how he's almost retreated into the Muggle world to hide, after obviously a very difficult break-up. I think that suits his character very much, after having coped in the spotlight for so long it's natural he'd want to retreat. I also liked how doggedly he watched Pansy, and how he genuinely cared for her.

As I said in a previous review, Pansy is a well-fleshed out character in this. I enjoyed her quips, but also how she coped in a difficult situation - in this chapter, she did have to be saved by Harry, but she wasn't completely helpless, which I really liked. And somehow you really made me believe this pairing. And that's coming from someone who doesn't usually read non-canon pairings...

I think you wrote the dialogue for all the characters really well and it really moved the plot along. I also liked how it was Pansy's perspective throughout the story... it really worked for this.

So great story in general!

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Yay! Well, I'm glad you liked the story, despite it not being something you would normally read. This was my first ever attempt to even mentally make Harry and Pansy work, let alone put it on a page. That it wasn't a disaster was nice. :)

One thing that has always bugged me about the typical stylings of the Post-Hogwarts universe is how Harry is portrayed. Sure, when he heads up the tower and dreams of a sandwich, he's on a bit of a surreal high, but what are the chances of him waking up and not realising that dozens of people are dead, many of whom he knows, and having the knowledge that he could've turned himself over before the battle and many of them might not have died at all? That sort of knowledge could destroy a lesser man and grind his soul into dust. Well, Harry's stronger than that, but he's still a human being. Every 'thank you' he received for his part in the war must have sounded so hollow and horrid in his ears, which I think would escalate to the point where he would want to live in around people who didn't know or care about his dubious celebrity.

This thought colours much of my work when I write Harry. I think he is capable of living a semi-normal life, but I also think it would be a long journey to get there. There's nothing to say that he didn't screw things up with Ginny for a while and end up in an inadvisable relationship. You notice that I didn't use an Epilogue Disregarded tag; it's because I don't think this ship could ever last, and this wounded Harry was always going to go back to Ginny. Pansy just needed to reintroduce him to the world of the living before that could happen.

Pansy is a fun character, and I should write her more. In a way, she's a lot like me personally, so it's easy to let a bit of me bleed onto the page and give her that extra bit of life.

I'll shut up now. As always, it is a pleasure discussing characters with you. Thank you for the read and review, and I hope to see you again soon!

~Jess

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/08/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I love this start to your story, Jess! The beginning seems so much like the Pansy we see in canon, in which her looks and looking better than others are all that matter. I think you did a great job at quickly shifting from the superficial to her actually being in danger.

I think this really allowed you to show a range of emotions from Pansy - she is clearly really concerned about her mother and sad about her father. So you've really made her into a three-dimensional character.

I love the element of mystery in this - I wanted to keep reading so much that I nearly forgot to review...

I liked your characterisation of Proudfoot - his way of talking and no-nonsense manner really fitted the position of Head of the Auror Department.

Anyway, I'll get on and read more now. It's a great start and I can't wait to read more :).

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Yay, you're back and even reading one of my weird non-canon pairing fics. Squeeee!

As we both probably know all too well, reality finds the sneakiest ways of knocking us down a peg. Poor Pansy's reality check was brutal :/ However, I think the kid's gonna be all right, lol.

Proudfoot is my go-to Head Auror until Harry takes over the position. He's appeared in a half dozen of my stories, usually pretty much the same as he is here. He's knowledgable, no-nonsense, tough, but in possession of an understanding of what makes people tick. Not only does it make him a good administrator, it made him one hell of an Auror. Moody could've learnt a few lessons from him.

~Jess

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/08/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

I liked this chapter a lot - you really blended humour really well with danger. There were moments when I almost laughed, and you very clearly showed the sexual tension between Pansy and Harry, but the story is also ominous. I particularly loved the end of the chapter for this reason - “Don’t know,” he said. “At least as long as it takes to take down your father’s killer.”

His words hung in the air, and Pansy had the dreadful feeling that it could take a long time before she saw the light of day again.
By this point I really started to empathise with Pansy, and yet at the beginning of the first chapter I didn't like her much and you've very quickly changed that. (I think I've stopped making sense here... the point is, Pansy is really well-characterised.)

I loved the scene when they arrived at Harry's house and Pansy broke down and Harry hugged her - I think it was beautifully written and worked really well within the plot, and it also showed another side of both of them.

I can't wait to keep reading... I'm loving it sofar.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I've never believed that people are the sum of their parts. Pansy is still that scared girl who was willing to hand over a classmate like a pig for slaughter; still the girl who picked on Hermione and her teeth; she's still the girl who sycophantically followed Draco because he was the best catch in their year. But no one is that empty and shallow. At first, it was hard to crawl around in her head and find things that could *possibly* make her attractive to Harry. But sometimes, being nothing one expects makes them a prime candidate to be everything one needs. Harry may not have fancied much of anything about Pansy, but he needed her to kick him in the arse and realise how pathetic he really was in his little hidey hole far away from everything.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of the story. :)

~Jess

 

Droobles Blowing Gum by Padfoot11333
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Past Featured Story

Alice Longbottom has lost so much, but a Christmas day that she strives to remember may be the worst.

All that Alice can remember is that it was her son’s first Christmas.

Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill.

This is Padfoot11333 of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall-iday Challenge-Prompt 1: A Christmas to Forget.

Since it was the only story in its category, it couldn't win first place, but it did win 5 bonus points for excellence, which I am very proud of =)


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1078 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/04/11 Updated: 12/10/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: Droobles Blowing Gum

I love the premise of this story - I hadn't really thought much about whether the Longbottoms might have planned another child or even been pregnant, and I think you work this idea really effectively.

Also I think you pulled Alice off really well - it's always quite a challenge to write from such a character's perspective, but it really worked. I liked your explanation for the gum wrappers - that she's trying to trig Neville or Augusta's memory. - So in the hope that it will spark something in Neville, she gives him the bubble gum every time. But all it seems to do for Augusta is spark pain. I thought that was just put very well.

I loved the fragmented style at the end - particularly the part about Frnk and Alice wanting to name their next child after Lily and James, and then forgetting. That bit is just heartbreaking. I often think Neville is worse off than Harry when it comes to his parents, because to have parents who don't seem to recognise you would be awful. And by adding an unborn daughter you've just made the Longbottoms story so much sadder.

I loved the contrast of these two lines - When Frank nods, it’s like they’re sealing a promise. That they won’t ever forget James and Lily. and She’ll forget that she ever “promised” to remember James and Lily. .

I think you really nailed Augusta and Neville in their short appearances too, although I wasn't sure that Augusta would ever say anything about Neville's sister, because she wouldn't think it would affect his life. But other than that she was great.

Anyway, not sure why this story hasn't got any reviews yet, I thought it was great.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina, I love getting one of your reviews :) Thanks so much for being the first! People always say that I can totally pull off characters like Alice (I've written a Pius Thicknesse one shot, which was...interesting). This wasn't exactly the type of holiday story I think the barmaids were expecting, but I'm really glad you liked it. xx Lily

 

The Fold by welshdevondragon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Before Sirius, there was another Black sheep. Who would have thought she’d bring him back into the fold?

A Christmas Day Story.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Strong Profanity

Word count: 2314 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/11/11 Updated: 12/12/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

This is really fantastic, Alex - your characterisation of Sirius and Bella is really quite wonderful. Bella is such a manipulator - I loved the line Bella looks at him, and Sirius suddenly feels like he’s often imagined his chess pieces must feel, being appraised for its strategic use and pushed in directions against its will. But then this feeling goes as she bends down so their faces are level and speaks to him kindly. I think this really shows Bella - for a moment, Sirius sees that she's just manipulating and controlling him, but most of the time she is a great actress and, perhaps because of her own experience, knows to treat him more like an adult because she knows that will get a response from him.

I also loved the idea that the hat considered Gryffindor for her - or at least that she says it did. There is something very brave about Bella - I think all 3 Black sisters are quite different, because whilst Bella and Narcissa both remained "acceptable" and Andromeda didn't, they are vastly different. Narcissa never (well until DH when she saves Harry) seems to take matters into her own hands - she never becomes a Death Eater - and I always think of her as ordered, whereas there is something wild and chaotic about Bella - especially post-Azkaban, but it has to have come from somewhere. (Sorry, that was a long sentence.)

I also loved this paragraph - e’s always known his cousin was considered insolent and disliked but also respected by most of the family. Yet he can’t think where he’s got this idea from, other than a general impression of the way people behave around her. Thinking about it, most of the time, at family gatherings, he’s quite liked her, liked the way she sits and talks with him and Regulus, treating them as adults, likes the way she pokes fun at their older relatives. I think your explanation of how Bella's family would treat her is very realistic, and I also love the idea that Sirius looks up to her and likes her. As I've said before, she's a great manipulator and actress, and I think it would take Sirius a few more years to see through a little bit of it.

I think it's very in character that Sirius decided to leave on a whim and just runs out into the snow at age 12 - we all know he ran away at 16, but I think it's fascinating that he may have made an earlier attempt. I think Bella is especially able to manipulate him because at this moment he feels alienated and lonely. I also loved how you used the snow and the coldness to show this.

Present tense worked perfectly for this - it really put me in the moment with these two characters and it always flowed naturally.

When you do--” her voice begins to shake with excitement, something he has never heard before “--we will be great. Not our family. I love our name, and I wish to honour it, but we have become so pathetic. And we will be great, you and I. We will show them that we are greater than they ever expected us to be, and in ways they never thought people could be. Understand, Sirius?” - That line of Bella's reminded me a bit of Voldemort to Harry, which I think is an interesting connection, because even at this age Harry refused him. Although Harry had had far more guidance as to right and wrong by that point.

Anyway, in general I just loved all the characterisation and the way the story panned out - fantastic as usual!! (And I promise I will get around to finishing LAOS).

~Katrina

Author's Response: Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this. This story was written very quickly--I was, ha, trying to be more mainstream :) I really enjoy writing Bella, as you know, and it was interesting having her act with Sirius. I was rather pleased with myself for that line-I'm sure it's from someone else, but I've always imagined Bella as a great manipulator, as you said, who is very controlled most of the time, but Azkaban unhinged her somewhat from this.

I think Bella is definitely potential Gryff material-she wasn't lying. Ha, I don't mind long sentences- I'm guilty of them myself. The three Black sisters are very interesting--I miss writing Andromeda and Narcissa.

I have a vague idea of a follow up to this about Sirius and Bella's relationship, when he sees through her, so I may write that one day.

I liked writing about the cold. I was very cold at the time, and I had a very clear idea that it should seep through the story, so it's great that you picked up on that :) And I'm glad the present tense worked for this.

I think Bella, like Voldemort, wants to escape her family, and sees Voldemort as the way to do this. I hadn't thought of that connection, but that is interesting.

Anyway thanks so much for reviewing! And I was very glad you finished LAOS and really appreciated all the lovely reviews you left for me. Thank you. Alex

 

Summary: Sometimes, the past reminds you of how beautiful the future really is.


*Winner of the Fall 2013 HP Fanfic Fan Poll Award for Best Ron x Hermione Drama/Angst. Thank you!

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1165 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/15/11 Updated: 12/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: We'll manage

When I saw your name and the Ron/Hermione category, I thought I must have misread it, because I really wouldn't expect anything like this from you. But exactly as Lori said (and nothing I can say will be higher praise than that, as she is the queen of this category), considering what you think of Ron, you absolutely nailed his character and I think really showed the better side of Ron.

I loved the way you interspersed two completely different time periods in this - both moments are important in their relationship, but I liked how you didn't go for something cliched like their wedding, and rather just showed how they interact.

Also I loved the second person, and you really pulled it off - you really got inside Ron's head and allowed us to get in there as well, without it feeling at all awkward.

It is so simple to you, how to proceed. Make love, sleep in, possibly make love again, and remember why you got married in the first place while your children start their own lives. However, you know what response you will get to a statement like that, which would likely be a punch in the shoulder, so you settle on something that meets you both halfway.

“We’ll manage, love. We’ll manage.”
- Sorry to quote so much back at you, but really, does it get any better than that? I was going ot pick just a little bit to say it was my favourite, but I loved all of that. It had so much Ron and Hermione in it.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I have always thought a ship's defining moments are not the major ones, but strings of more mundane events. As everyone knows, life doesn't consist of pivotal moments; it consists of long strings of things we take for granted and rarely ever think about. Those are what make a relationship to me. So I picked important events in their relationship, but not the typical ones, like their wedding or their first night together. I suppose this is my way of showing that, if two people fundamentally fit together and can work, they're there for one another during the little times and let the bigger ones take care of themselves.

Anyway, thanks for the review. And I totally told Lori that you called her the Romione queen. :D

~Jess

 

A Christmas To Remember by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Scorpius Malfoy and Roxanne Weasley share gumdrops over three Christmas encounters. Eight years later, Roxanne does not remember anything except the gumdrops.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations

Word count: 5464 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/18/11 Updated: 12/18/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Christmas One-Shot

For a minute I thought you were going to leave it with her not remembering... but it is a Christmas story after all, and I'm glad it had this ending.

I loved the way you traced their relationship through gumdrops - it just added something beautiful to the segments and really connected them... and then how you tied that in with their daughter was lovely.

I liked how you slowly brought in details in the second half, so as a reader we were almost in Roxy's position - as in, you didn't say outright that they were married with a daughter - but of course we did have the advantage of knowing how they got together. But given the subject matter of the story, that worked really well.

I liked how you characterised Scorpius as a bookish 5th year prefect in Ravenclaw in the beginning - he didn't fit into a lot of the stereotypes people often write. Also I loved how his best friend was Fred - not Albus or Rose - and that Fred was actually also fairly bookish, not an exact replica of his namesake.

Also, great touches of detail that really added to the story - like George and Draco having a fight the day their granddaughter was born. I also liked how you included prejudice between the Weasleys and Malfoys, but didn't major on it - clearly between Scorpius and Roxanne it wasn't an issue, but it still caused problems between their families, which actually seemed very natural.

Anyway, loved the story and the characterisations of the main characters and I thought it was really well-written.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Katrina! I really appreciate the lovely review! I'm glad you thought some of the things here worked - I know we tend to write what we know, and we all know Draco so Scorpius tends to pop out quite similar to him. But he must have had a bit of his mum in him too, so maybe she was a bit more bookish, after all. And I see Fred's studiousness as just a different focus of his dad's obvious talent and strength with pranks and the shop. Couldn't you just picture George and Draco going at it after what happened in OotP? I'm sure it didn't make things easy for Scorpius and Roxanne, but like you said, it wasn't the focus of the story, just something to make it more real given what we know of their parents. Haha, I'm glad you liked the gumdrops because I've eaten so many of them lately, that's really how this all materialized! Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it, esp. since I felt like this next generation was a bit tough to tackle! ~Gina :)

 

Just a Boy by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary:

Who we are is seldom who we were or who we will be, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Sometimes, in special circumstances, we choose one and hold onto it because the alternative simply is not an option.

And so it was for Adam Mulciber and Mary MacDonald.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1658 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/11 Updated: 12/25/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/10/12 Title: Chapter 1: Just a Girl

This is another lovely story, Jess - I love your characterisation and even the idea for this story, I don't think I've read anything much about these characters and the incident which Lily refers to, and this was an interesting take on it.

I think what really comes through in this is that no-one is 'good' or 'bad'. but that we all have different priorities and different things we'd give up for something else (sorry that is worded terribly). I guess the thing I'm trying to say is that you can't really categorise people - which is why I love your ending - And this is how Mary Macdonald chooses to remember Adam Mulciber ” not as that Slytherin boy who broke her heart, nor as the Death Eater who had divested himself of his innocence so completely. He was just a boy, just Adam, and she was just a girl, just Mary. - Adam is not just a Death Eater or a Slytherin, he's a complex person with feelings and motivations.

I loved how you interspersed their past with the present and gradually showed their whole relationship and led up to that last moment.

This is unusual in your writing, but I found a few of the lines of dialogue a little clunky - for example “I can forgive you for what you did to me, but I don’t think I can get over why you did it. It’s good that you don’t hate me, I suppose, but I don’t know you anymore.” - The last bit seems a little tagged on and just didn't feel quite right, sorry I'm being so vague.

The rest of the writing was really great though - the feeling of cold and tension and less was really palpable throughout the story which worked really well.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

And here you are again. My prodigal reviewer! The f-list has marked your return with elation and praise, and I have been visited. I don't check my review page often anymore, since there's usually nothing on it. Meh, well...

When I wrote/posted this story, I admit to feeling sad it was seldom read and only had one review. But then I went back and read it and thought, "Well, hell. I wouldn't review this either." Sigh. I think I broke something I can't get back, and this story was part of that. There are few things I've written since we last met that I would deem fit for the praise you've mustered for this. I do love you for that. Just so you know. :D

This all sprung from a drabble and a story exchange. I just had this idea that there was something more to Mulciber/Mary that made his attack on her both more meaningful and more terrible. While it didn't really play out in the story, I felt like I needed to see what happened afterward played out in front of me before I could consider the plot bunny to be satisfied. This is what came out. It is, as you said, clunky. Truthfully, I don't think I even read over it before posting it because I was pretty sure it wouldn't improve no matter what I did to it. :/ I should really stop doing that.

Anyway, thank you for the review and the return visits. You are such as stellar reviewer and one of discerning tastes. A recent Great Hall challenge has produced a lot of great reading material, certainly better than this, but I will just say welcome back. You have been missed.

~Jess

 
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