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The_Real_Hermione [Contact]

Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.

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Stories by The_Real_Hermione [16]
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione

The Question (Again) by Northumbrian

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Harry is on his way to ask Ginny a question. No - not a question the question. How hard can it be?
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Question (Again)

I think I've been waiting for this ever since I read the Ron/Hermione Question. This one was just as amusing, with as many things going wrong, but still ending up being very sweet.

I loved the fact that Arthur figured it out first - I think he's a lot more observant than people give him credit for. I also found the way Harry got distracted by Ginny's photograph rather amusing - and this was a great line: Only Ginny could distract me from Ginny!.

But I think this was the best line in the whole story - ‘Master has been chasing Mistress for many years,’ my house-elf tells me. ‘And he always catches her. But not until she wants to be caught.’ That was so funny, particularly since it was coming from Kreacher.

Great mixture of funny and romantic, Neil.


Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. This one took a long time for fome reason. I knew that it wasn't right, so I left it. I "rediscovered" the rough draft a few weeks ago, deleted most of it, and started again.

In most of my stories Arthur will usually know, but never tell (that dates back to "The Mind of Arthur Weasley"). The calendar episode wasn't in the original version at all, and It's one of my favourite bits.

Kreacher surprised me, but he was mellowing after only a few weeks company in DH and after a few years in a house with frequent young guests, I think he'd pick a lot of stuff up.


Doubts by WeasleyMom

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •


I've never felt this way before.


Fleur struggles with life and war. A missing moment from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.


This is WeasleyMom of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Bannermaker's Challenge. The banner used was Doubts by TM_WandStick. I chose this banner immediately Toni--so gorgeous!

Yay! Those lovely SBBC people have added this story to the SBBC Hall of Fame! I knew there was a reason I joined that group. Hehe. Thanks, you guys!


Thanks so much to Natalie/hestiajones for beta reading this so close to the submission deadline. She is everything she is cracked up to be.


I'm not JK Rowling.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

I'm not sure why this doesn't have any reviews yet - it really is very well-written. You really captured Fleur in this story, which can be hard, because I think the DH Fleur we see has changed from the "An Excess of Phlegm" Fleur, as well as the GoF Fleur. I think the title and main theme of this story, about doubt, really showed that, because in GoF she really didn't have any doubts.

That night under the blankets, in the dark of her room, a seed of doubt”planted by visions of fire-breathing monsters”stirred inside her. Perhaps it was new, the result of hearing the details of the first task; perhaps it had been there all along, sleeping, waiting for a situation with edges sharp enough to warrant its rising. - I just loved that paragraph, because I think it really shows when Fleur started to change, although she kept her confident exterior for much longer.

Just a tiny nitpick - you've written she had found the air but not the relief she’d hope it would - I think it should be "she'd hoped".

I loved the ending and Fleur finding something certain in her life. The two of them, together… this she could count on. This was enough. I think it's amazing that in so few words you can show all her doubts and yet still resolve them in showing what's most important to her.

I loved this story, Lori, and I hope it gets the reviews it deserves!


Author's Response: Katrina! Yay, you always leave the most lovely reviews--I get excited when I see your name. :) I'm so glad you liked this and thought it worked. I get nervous where there are so few reviews, but I think that is because I write so much Romione, and those readers leave a LOT of reviews. So I'm spoiled. Not a lot of demand out there for a Fleur commentary. Hehe. But I was inspired by Toni's great banner, and I do love writing Bill... so Fleur is a natural extension of that. I think there has always been more to Fleur than what meets the eye. Rowling nearly tells us this herself in HBP with how she handles Bill's attack. Anyway. Thanks as always for the review (and the error you found... I've changed it now)! I appreciate it more than you know! Take care. ~ Lori

The Fish and the Pelican by Hotrav

Rated: 6th-7th Years •

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Luna and Neville retreat to the Hog's Head to explore the feelings of attraction that have been growing over the year. Is what they feel for 'real' or just the thrll of being young and having survived.

What they find or don't find will shape their futures

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Fish and the Pelican

This was a very sweet story and I think you did a great job with both their characters. I was amongst those who, initally when DH (the book) was released, thought Neville and Luna would work together, but on further reflection and JK Rowling's statement that Neville marries Hannah, realised that Neville and Luna really aren't suited.

Yet, he knew they would not last outside of this room. If they tried to continue out there, he would either suffocate Luna’s glorious spirit with his need to be reassured that she would stay, or she would madden him with her total lack of structure in living her life. - That's justa perfect explanation of why Neville and Luna don't work together, I don't think I could have put it better.

And yet I also thought it believable that Neville wanted to hold on to Luna, because considering what they'd both just been through, she was someone familiar who he knows understands what he's experienced.

I think you did a great job with Luna, and she's a difficult character to get right. I thought it was so her the way she kept commenting on the sunrise, and the tale was something I could imagine her telling and really worked for this story. It was a little ambiguous, and I also liked that it confused Neville, because I think a lot about Luna confuses him.

I have to admit, for a while I was worried that in the "Fours Years Later" part, they were going to get together again, but what actually happened was great. I like that Luna knows Neville well enough not to just set him up with everyone (as Ginny is trying to, by the sounds of it) and actually picks someone with whom he'll be happy.

Anyway, in general I thought it was a very sweet story and well-written.


Author's Response: Thanks. I t was Neville and Luna on the train during OOTP that brought me into the books my son was being read. I went to 4 high schools and I was a Neville-like character and the only friends I made in my last high school were Luna types. So I used that in my first story, 'Luna Lovegood and the Charmed Circle', I had Ginny trying to hook up Luna and Neville. However, Luna demures claiming that if Neville had a girl friend at that time he would spend all of his time trying to be what the girl friend wanted Neville to be and not what he could become. Neville needed to mature to be able to recognize his own worth and accept the love given. I felt Luna and her deep friendship would be the one to let him see and guide him. Thank you for you comments

Quidditch: The Metaphoric Dating Game by Kiara Avalon

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: When Lily asks James to teach her how to play Quidditch, James comes up with an interesting analogy...
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Quidditch: The Metaphoric Dating Game

This was an enjoyable and playful story, which worked really well. Your tone was light and humorous the whole way through.

The analogy was very clever and perfect for this relationship - it added another reason to why James always has that Snitch with him, too, despite being a Chaser. It was clever, and I particularly liked how you aligned Lily with the Snitch... I'd never thought of it this way.

I liked the way James misunderstood what Lily meant when she refused him - it's a bit cliche, particularly in James/Lily stories, but considering the playful tone of this fic I think that really worked.

I smiled at how Lily could remember the tactic she'd overheard, even though she probably had hardly understood it, and yet didn't know what a Quaffle was. I did find that a bit unbelievable... surely she would know at least the basics? Although I suppose she could have been pretending to know less to flirt with James?

I just have a few tiny nitpicks - you've written though he was more sympathetic towards Jenkins' girl troubles than the lack of support he gets from his mates. - since your story is in past tense, it should be "got from his mates".

'Oh, is that so?' said lily, - you just missed capitalising Lily.

Anyway, they're just tiny things, the story was very enjoyable and well-written.


Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story :) And I appreciate the helpful hints! I'll have them fixed as soon as I can.

An Epitaph - Tom Marvolo Riddle by Half_BloodPrincess

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: After the Final Battle, many lie dead, and the first funeral is the one that nobody wants to attend... But who walks the fine line between respect and derision, and how do they solve the problem of what to write on the tombstone of the most hated wizard this century?
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Epitaph - Tom Marvolo Riddle

I have enjoyed all your Epitaph stories sofar, and this one really measured up. I think you've really nailed the internal monologue style of writing - this feels like a really natural flow of ideas.

I'm also very impressed with the Epitaph you actually came up with - as Harry says in this story, it's hard to know how to sum up the life of a man whom everybody hated, without being hateful yourself.

But I think the most poignant part of this story was this - he made me who I am today. Without him, I’d be nothing. - I think Harry begins to come to this realisation in OotP, when he understands that he's not fighting Voldemort because of the prophecy, but because he couldn't bear himself if he didn't. Anyway, I'm going on a bit of a tangent here, but I think that is so true, because without ever meaning, Voldemort actually gave Harry a lot (obviously he also took a lot).

I also loved this paragraph. - Statistics, perhaps? The amount of people he killed? But would that be the amount he killed personally or the amount he was responsible for killing? And what about the people whose lives were ruined? How do you measure the worth of a life? Do you count Muggles as well as Wizards? Creatures as well as humans? Would you count the Death Eaters forced into his service? - I think this really shows the scope of the impact Voldemort has had, and it was really effective to do it through questions.

Your list of possible Epitaphs, as always, occasionally brought a smile to my face. Even though in his internal monologue, Harry thinks Dumbledore would want something like "Head Boy", I think what Harry actually chose would also be what Dumbledore would want, because Dumbledore is all about learning from others, and I don't think he would want anyone to pretend that Voldemort was anything other than he was.

Another well-written story, I'm looking forward to Fred's!


Author's Response: Thank you for your review (yet again), I think I've come to look forward to reading them. I hate to burst your bubble, but this is less of a mastery, and more that I think like Harry instead. I'm glad you liked the Without him, I'd be nothing. line, I debated with myself whether or not to include it for some time. I completely agree with you about the things that Voldemort gave to Harry, he would have been a completely different Harry had Voldemort not existed. The Statistics was really a bit of a joke for a friend of mine who claims that I only deal in melodrama, as I've always imagined that Voldemort would have affected the Wizarding World in a much larger way than he is seen to in the books, and at some point I'm sure there'll be at least a One-Shot with a more intelligent Voldemort posted by me. As to your point on Dumbledore, he's always struck me to be a second-chance time of guy. I honestly think that if Voldemort had turned up at Hogwarts, poked himself in the eyes, and told Dumbledore he was sorry with tears in his eyes that Dumbledore would have forgiven him, but that's just me. Fred's Epitaph has been posted, and is awaiting validation, so keep your eyes peeled! I look forward to the next review (hopefully!).

Centuries by Northumbrian

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Harry and Ginny reach their centuries. Life after one hundred years in ten one-hundred word scenes.

Nominated for: Best Canon Romance (One-shot) story - Quicksilver Quills 2012

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Centuries

When I saw the summary for this, I clicked somewhat reluctantly, expecting it to be lots of sentimental and overly fluffy moments from Harry and Ginny's married life. Seeing your name next to it, I should have known better, because it's not that at all. It certainly has some sentimental and fluffy elements, but never too much.

Firstly, I think it's amazing that you managed to write ten sections of exactly 100 words without any of the sections feeling abrupt. It gives the story an almost poetic feel.

I adored this line - it's just so Ginny. ‘She’s been married to him for more than three-quarters of a century, and despite being ancient, she’s neither deaf, nor daft,’ Ginny said firmly. ‘Harry Potter collapsing in the street will always be news.’. This story certainly had its amusing lines - like that one - but I was also on the verge of tears. I loved the idea that each of their children were living in one of the places that was important to them.

It’s hard, but no one lives forever. I made certain of that. - I loved that Harry said this to Lily, because I think it really shows his character - after what he learnt, no matter how tempting it might be to want to live longer, he knows that he can't.

I loved the way you used King's Cross at the end, and the idea of catching trains, from DH. It was just the perfect end to this.

I'm not quite sure how you'd describe this either, but "self-indulgent nonsense" certainly wouldn't be my words. It was very poignant, moving and well-written (and of course well-characterised, as your stories always are).

I think I felt the saddest for Hermione, the last of their friends to be alive. Anyway, I'll leave this here. Great story.


Author's Response: Katrina
Thanks for the review.
I seem to be drawn to writing fluff, but I try to fight against it. Every single chapter was rewritten dozens of times to get the word count right. Dialogue tags are the first things to go, they only stay when they are essential.
Somehow, writing one hundred words became writing about one hundred years. Youve chosen to highlight my favourite line of Ginny dialogue and my favourite line of Harrys too. Im sure Harrys views wouldnt change, and the fact that he took a short visit to Kings Cross would help him cope.
I feel sorry for Hermione, too.

Queen by armagod679

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: They called her the queen of Hogwarts. But queens lose their crowns so easily.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Queen of Hogwarts

This was a really interesting story, and a different take on Olive. Somehow I'd always imagined her to be hardly any better liked than Myrtle, and therefore tease Myrtle horribly because she wanted to feel better than someone. But your take is very interesting.

Firstly, I loved the idea of the Queen, and the way you spoke of the other girls as "subjects". I think that particularly worked, because it showed not only that Olive was admired, but that she controlled those around her.

I also liked the idea that Olive finding the body and presumably feeling some sort of guilt - as opposed to Myrtle haunting her - was what really caused the change in Olive. I think you showed two sides of haunting - the way Myrtle physically haunts Olive, and the way Olive's memories haunt her, and you showed that the latter was more powerful and more painful. She could still hear Myrtle everywhere, mocking her, taunting. Even without a ghost, how could she forget the body on the bathroom floor? - I really just loved that part, it was so well-written.

I think it's interesting how both of these girls/women ended up ruined for life - because even though at the end, Myrtle has power over Olive and takes a mean sort of pleasure from it, her "life" is mostly very unhappy, and Olive is also unhappy.

Just a small tense problem - you've written She's had enough - which is in present tense, while the rest is in past. It should be "She'd had enough."

Anyway, I loved the story, as all your stories are, it was very well-written and different.


Author's Response: Thank you!

Owl Post by Northumbrian

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Some letters are mundane: generic form letters which arrive with monotonous regularity. Other letters are life changing.
Some letters can be both.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Owl Post

I read this quite a while ago... but I've been very busy so haven't got around to leaving a review until now.

As usual, it's an excellent story, although somewhat different to your usual style. The second person was very effective and well done - it can be a difficult perspective to write, but it flowed naturally here.

I loved how you developed the character of the owl - young, impatient and keen to be of service. I think that really added something unique to this story. The man looks at you and bares his teeth. This isn’t a threat; the humans call it a smile. - I loved that line, because it really showed that this is an owl and it also made me smile.

I loved the dialogue between Harry and Ginny - as usual, you really nailed their characters and the way they interact. I particularly loved this line - ‘He’ll be gone for most of our lives, Harry,’ says Ginny. It just fitted in really well.

I also loved this line - I told him that he’d been sharing me with the world from the day I was born. James will always be ours, Harry, but we have to share him with the world. - Ginny seems to be full of wisdom in this story!

Lily communicating with the owl was a lovely touch - I suppose she is named after Luna after all. I also smiled when Albus admitted that he would miss James but asked Harry and Ginny not to tell him.


Author's Response: ~Katrina
Thanks for the review.
I’ve used second-person only once before (in a chapter of Tales of the Battle). It forces me to change my style, which is probably no bad thing.
Working on an owl’s personality is interesting, fortunately magical owls are, it seems, keen to carry out their missions. I’ve been accused of making Ginny the “junior partner” or even weak in some of my stories. Sertainly she’s far from her best in Ginny’s Rival, but I didn’t mean to belittle her in that story, merely to show the problems new babies can bring. The changing dynamics of a family are something she’s much better at than Harry. She watched Bill marry a girl she (obviously) didn’t like. She knows much better than Harry that families grow and change. I think that Harry, having finally got a family, will sometimes struggle to let things change.
Lily is, indeed Lily Luna. Albus is a typical boy, desperately fond of his brother, but unwilling to let James know. After the age of about 5, boys don’t do feelings, especially not with other boys.

Almost Like Real Magic by ginevra715

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: There's a very pretty girl working in the paper shop in Ottery St. Catchpole who thinks George's card tricks are something marvelous – almost like real magic.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This was a very enjoyable and amusing story... I have to say that I really believed Jenny was a Muggle... at least initially. When Alicia first mentioned Quidditch, I was suspicious, but I wondered if you'd just made a mistake, but it was her thoughts about pounds technically coming from trees that made me realise.

I loved the idea of someone getting back at Fred and George - highly amusing, although no doubt at least Fred will be keen to get the two girls back again.

I loved the bit when Fred and George were making names up for themselves... it feels like the kind of silly thing they would do.

I think you did a great job with the dialogue, which often carried the story, and always felt natural for the characters, even though what Fred and George said was occasionally ludicrous... but then, that is really part of their characters.

Usually in canon we see them in control of situations - basking in the success of a prank - so I smiled at George improvising, and initially thinking he was quite good and then realising he had made a complete mess of it.

Great job with the characters and making this an amusing and enjoyable read.


Author's Response: Thank you! Your comment made me re-read my story and gain a whole new perspective on it. I can't read the story without noticing the hints I dropped about Jenny being a witch, because I know they're there. But from an outside perspective, her identity could technically be in doubt until the very end, which adds a new twist. I've always thought Fred and George deserved to be the victims for once :)

An Epitaph - Fred Gideon Weasley by Half_BloodPrincess

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: When half of a whole is lost, how can the remainder sum up a life of laughter?
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Epitaph - Fred Gideon Weasley

This is excellent, as are all the others in this series. In a sense it's quite different, as it's the only one from George's perspective and, even though he's suffering perhaps more than anyone else, it doesn't feel as dark.

I think you nailed George's character - and I loved the Epitaph, I do think it is something George would do. I think he's unable to put his feelings into words about Fred and so it really works to go back to the humour that they enjoyed together.

I smiled at the comparison to Romeo and Juliet... I was somewhat surprised that George would know a Muggle story, but then he can be surprising with the things he knows. It also tied Angelina into the story beautifully. I thought you did a great job with her and her connection to Fred.

I loved bits like this Oh, Medusa’s armpit hair! - that really felt in character for George, even though he's going through a horrible time.

What about epitaphs for Remus and Tonks? Or perhaps Colin? I think they could all be interesting.

Anyway, even if you don't write anymore, I've loved the series and will look out to read more of your work.


Author's Response: Thank you for yet another of your frankly inspiring reviews. There's a part of me that's itching to write another epitaph to tempt you to review again. You're probably right that it isn't as dark. Every time I tried to make George sound terribly depressed, and dejected, my muse threw in a joke, and when it came down to it, the jokes seemed more George than anything else, partially as a way of 'escaping' the reality of what has happened. In regards to Romeo and Juliet, Arthur is a lover of all things Muggle, and I find it difficult to imagine that he wouldn't have stumbled upon one the Great Bard's most well known works. Thank you for the suggestions on epitaphs, I have a list stored on my computer of suggestions that have been made, which are all capturing my imagination to various degrees, and there are images now drifting over my mind of a camera laying on a grave, and the like. I can't, however, make any promises but just keep an eye out, I asked for suggestions because I'd love to write more. Thank you again for the review!

Key of the Door by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: At the age of twenty, Ron Weasley has a good career, a wonderful girlfriend and a flat of his own. But when he wakes up one morning, shortly before his twenty-first birthday, nothing can quite dispel the gloomy cloud that's been stalking him.

Could a long lunch in the Leaky Cauldron rid him of this malaise?

This story has been written as a twenty-first birthday present for Hannah/Bob (coolh5000) who is one of the most wonderful people in the world.

Thank you to Natalie for beta'ing, Kara for the line about the Knight bus and Julia for the 'firecrotch'. (I hope you like Ron's revenge for the slur)

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. She has the talent; I have the temerity to nick her characters.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Even though this is a fairly common basic plot (the Ron leaving the Auror department and going to work for George part), this story felt really unique. As other reviewers have said, your characterisations are really fantastic.

I loved seeing a George who has clearly suffered and been through a lot, but who has also found something he loved and really moved on with his life.

I also really enjoyed how you portrayed Ron and George's relationship - while they were at Hogwarts, Ron seemed to be a common victim of Fred and George's pranks and they riled him a fair bit, so it was great to see that they've moved beyond this. I particularly loved this line “I think it comes of being a Weasley and living with two brothers who plagued the life out of you.” from George - it was humorous, but still a recognition of the past.

I loved your Hermione, even though she only makes a small appearance. I thought it was typical Ron that he'd expect her to tell him off for leaving the Auror department, and typical Hermione to have been perceptive enough to see he was unhappy and of course to immediately offer to help him find someting else.

I thought you also did a great job with Hannah, as to be running a bar she obviously matured well beyond the 15-16year old who had panic attacks. Also, as much as I believe in a 'reformed' Malfoy, it is nice to see him just being a git sometimes... and getting what he deserves.

And last, but not least, your characterisation of Ron was just absolutely spot on the whole way through.

So all in all, this was a very enjoyable read :).


Author's Response: Katrinaaaaaa! Thank you very much for the review. I enjoyed writing this story because I don;t write a great deal of Ron but I love him as a character in the books. I'm pleased you liked the characterisation and thought they were all IC. I have a problem when George is always depressed post-battle. I know he would never have been quite right after Fred died, but he's too much of a Weasley Twin to be permanently depressed.

I like Draco redemption fics as well, but I get the feeling he'd never change in Ron's eyes and would always be a git in front of him. Plus, I like git Draco as well - hee hee.

Thanks again for the review. It is much appreciated. ~Carole~

Brother Mine by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •

When Regulus steps into the cave by the sea, he knows it is a mission that could very well be the end of him, but it is in something he has lost that he finds the strength to do what is right and not what is easy.

This story was nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Dark/Angst.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

As I think all the other reviewers of this story have said, definitely Adore! Regulus is wonderfully characterised and fleshed out, even though this is a very short story.

While I have finally found a cause worth dying for, he will have forever defeated me in finding a cause worth living for. I really really loved that line - it was a beautiful contrast, but I think it also shows a similarity between Regulus and Sirius which works perfectly for the end of this story.

I spy the glint of tears on the old elf’s face, and it gives me a rush of affection for this dire-looking creature who I had stupidly offered up to the Dark Lord as a beast of inconsequence. I also loved that line - you've done a great job with Kreacher's characterisation in this story as well. Kreacher usually responds to those who are kind to him, and so obviously Regulus had paid him more attention than others in the family, but his reverence for Voldemort got in the way of that.

As I said earlier, I think you did a great job of showing both the similarities and differences between the two brothers and this was a perfectly written story.


Author's Response:

I need to write more things, since I have missed your reviews greatly. I'm glad you liked the story, because I was initually reserved about adding it when it was so short, but sometimes shorter is better. Its original draft was nearly 1500 words, but I actually cut it down to 900 because it flowed so much better.

With the first line you quoted, it was actually one of the first things I wrote on the page, and I put everything else around it. Since this was originally meant to be 500 words, the short version was chopped to bits, but that was the one line I couldn't lose. 

Anyway, thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you liked the story, and I'm glad you're back. :D


Cope by Ascendio

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Your best friend was back, and really back this time.

Remus reflects on Sirius being back home.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a great story, I think you did a great job of handling second person, present tense and grasping these two characters.

I liked how, in a way, although Remus was telling the story, it's almost more about Sirius... or equally as much about both of them. The second person really put me in Remus' position and made me consider what it would be like to have Sirius as a friend.

I loved how you showed two sides of Sirius - on one hand, he remains his old jokey self, or at least he tries to. I loved his comments to Remus about Tonks, I think that really showed that underneath what he has suffered, he is still Sirius and Remus is a close friend.

I adored this paragraph - You become aware of his hands. Those tremors, those ever present trembling fingers were not there before. You notice the way that if the window is open, if a whoosh of wind is heard, your old friend seizes up, closing his eyes, bracing himself against chills of a nonexistent Dementor. You take in the way that at loud noises, if someone yells in surprise, Sirius will cover his ears, blocking out his old inmates screams. (Perhaps you could say "fellow inmates' screams", as they were inmates of Azkaban, not Sirius - also you missed the apostrophe.) I think it's great how you dwell on the small things, like the trembling of his hands, because it is really in those things that you can see the change. That paragraph in particular created the idea of a haunted man, perhaps on the edge of insanity, and it worked very well.

Guess they needed a bit more than love in their case. You stare at him, and he avoids your eyes. I'm just saying that they would have benefitted a lot more with a knife to Wormtail's throat than any more bloody love. - That line was so in character for Sirius and really showed the sort of mood he was often in during OotP, when obviously the loneliness and the uselessness he felt got the better of him.

And finally the last section - that is just glorious. I love how you rely on dialogue for it, whilst there is no dialogue in the rest of the story. The rest of the story feels a little reflective, even though it's in present tense, whereas in the final section I was right in the excitement of the moment. Plus it's just such a Marauder-ish thing to do. It was just the perfect ending for the story - particularly this line "Well, it means we're bloody incredible so we're going to live forever.".

I have just a little bit of criticism:
This line - It’s after a conversation with Arthur Weasley that you see it. Arthur had asked about Sirius, wondering how he was doing. The phrasing just felt a little awkward, perhaps you could just get rid of the second sentence, I think the story would make sense without it.

Also just one time you slipped into past tense - It was after the conversation that you watch Sirius more carefully, - it should be "It is..."

Anyway, I really did love this story, I think it really captured the essence of Remus and Sirius and what became of them.


Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review Katrina! Yes, I didn't realise while writing it, but I guess I really had to delve more into Sirius's personality then Remus's, the fic really is more Sirius-centric, even if it is from Remus' point of view. I went back and fixed the errors you mentioned, thanks for pointing those out, I also agree with the awkward phrasing, I took your advice and got rid of the second sentence. Thanks for the praise on the last part, though it tore me apart inside, I really enjoyed writing it. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

Incorrigible by Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It's Halloween and the Head Boy and Head Girl are stuck in the greenhouses for detention. Will they escape the clutches of the deadly Devil's Snare…or worse, one another?
A lighthearted tale for Halloween, not to be read in the greenhouse.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This really is fabulous... you write such wonderful James/Lily stories, and even though each one is quite different, you seem to nail their characters every time.

The banter between them was very funny - as Carole said, you did a great job with the Sirius joke - but also very natural. The way this story relied a lot on dialogue to tell it and to show their characters really worked.

I loved the ending - I almost burst out laughing, and it tied in really well with the title and the opening.

So basically - I just really enjoyed this story!


Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ooh, I'm glad the Sirius joke worked, one never knows with that, lol. And I'm glad that in spite of my growing J/L oevre, I can still write something slightly different from my others and keep them in character as well. I do love writing them and their banter, you know. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

Harry's First Halloween by lucca4

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •

It's Harry's first Halloween, but the raging thunderstorm prevents an overly eager Lily from taking him out to trick-or-treat. Instead, she, James, and Sirius spend one of their last carefree moments together.

m m

Happy Halloween, MNFF!

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: 31 October 1980

This was a very enjoyable story - it was light, but also excellently written. Your characterisations of all three were fantastic and the dialogue really seemed to flow between them seamlessly and naturally.

I think this was just a beautiful moment to capture - as other reviewers have said, there is a bittersweet tone to it, especially in the line “We’ll take him out next year,” James promised, stretching an arm across her shoulders. “All of us - I refuse to let Remus and Peter take our holiday shifts next year.” - because of course we all know where they all are the next year. But nonetheless, I think you really showed their happiness despite the war. This story is a lovely reminder that these three characters were young and could enjoy themselves, despite the tragedy which later surrounds them.

Also, I loved all the humour in this - particularly the swearing - it was amusing but also felt very natural for the characters to be saying.

Anyway, I think I'm starting to repeat myself... this was a thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining read!


Author's Response: I squee-ed when I saw I got a review from you :). Thank you so much for commenting on the story - I'm glad you thought the characterization and humor were nice, especially humor because I feel like that's where I struggled the most. I'm also happy you thought it wasn't entirely sad; I wanted it to be more of an uplifting story in seeing how the Marauders weren't always shrouded by darkness and death. Thank you again for your lovely review! xx Ariana

Killer by armagod679

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Who killed Lily and James Potter?

Who betrayed them? Who nearly killed their baby?

I did.

I, Severus Snape, killed them.

I, Sirius Black, killed them.

I, Peter Pettigrew, killed them.

And I'll tell you how.
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Killed Them

I agree a lot with your previous reviewer - Sapphire at Dawn. Overall this fic was powerful and very unique - the way you interwove the stories' of these four characters was seamless and really connected them together.

The dialogue and inner monologue were very effective tools for telling this story - it made the action happen quickly and you really got inside all the characters' heads. I thought your Sirius was your strongest character, particularly his conversation with James - the dialogue-only style of that part worked perfectly.

I think your Peter and Severus were fairly well-characterised, although they didn't quite shine the way sirius did. With Severus, I liked how you showed him going from eagerness to serve Voldemort to regret - the progression was done realistically.

As Sapphire at Dawn also said, I find your Voldemort a bit OOC - he trusts no-one and is an intensely private person, therefore I don't think he would ever have told anyone that he chose Harry because he was the most similar to him - I think this is only something Dumbledore deduced. I always thought he would say to the Death Eaters that he chose the Potters because it was less waste of magical blood. Also when Voldemort was talking to Peter, I think it might be better if you cut a bit of his dialogue - perhaps leave it at “Excellent, Wormtail.” He paused. “I must admit that I doubted your merit when you first joined me… but now you have proved your worth, Wormtail..

I loved the way you finished, particularly the "I am a killer" line - it tied the whole story together really well.

Anyway, well done for attempting this sort of style - it must have been difficult to write, and yet it isn't confusing to the reader.


Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I realize that Sirius is the best, but that's because my notebooks are filled with practice. I'm stilling trying to find the right Peter and Snape, and as for Voldemort, it's a definite work in progress. I'm glad you enjoyed the style, though I'll confess it isn't difficult to write. It just sort of happened. Thank you for reviewing!

Black and White by Eleanor Lupin

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: For Narcissa Malfoy, things have always been black and white. Her life plotted out with no room for change. But as she kneels next to the not-so-dead body of Harry Potter, she has to choose between what is right and what is easy.
And its not as easy a choice as it used to be.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Courage Shines

This story is an interesting concept, and I think you did a great job of showing exactly why Narcissa made that choice. I think it's an interesting choice, and as with many other things in canon, ultimately it comes down to love.

My favourite line is definitely this - Maybe I had more in common with them than I thought. I think that's really an idea that could go both ways, and it's often something that comes up in war, when those fighting recognise that their enemies are simply human. And I loved how you connected it through Tonks, and through the idea of having a son for whom you would die.

I thought the idea that Narcissa hated dead bodies and almost seems repulsed by death is very interesting. In general I think she's an interesting character, because as far as we know, though she had ties with the Death Eaters, she never joined like Bellatrix did, and I think in this story you really show why not. Because I think Narcissa has experienced love in a way her eldest sister never has, which is why I think the idea of death repulses her. This line was great - Maybe I had more in common with them than I thought.

Somehow I think this story would have worked even better in present tense (not that I imagine you'll change it because that takes a considerable amount of time), just because of the immediacy of Narcissa's thoughts, although that is just m opinion.

Anyway, it was an enjoyable read, and you really fitted it around canon very well.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I loved that line too when I wrote it. I agree with what you've said about Narcissa, Bellatrix feels very blasé about death because she's never had anyone who she truly cares about, and can't even imagine what it would feel like to lose someone close to her because it's simply not a possibility. However, Narcissa has a family she loves and can't imagine losing, so that combined with her sister's cavalierness about death and such is what gave her a bit of a phobia of death, corpses and such. Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad you liked it!

Until the Very End by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A stern resolve envelops those who prepare for the Battle of Hogwarts.

This poem has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

As you know, I'm not generally a huge poetry fan... but you do really write some fantastic poetry! And you're right, I think poetry really does work for the battle.

I loved the whole thing, but especially the final couplet, because I think it really showed the spirit of those who fought in the battle.

You really combined a lot of different emotions here... on one hand, it felt uplifting, but also sad, like with the line For others, it will be their night to die which just reminded me of the horrors of the battle.

Also the rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully.


Author's Response:

Yay, you're back!

I like the fact that I can write poetry you enjoy without being a poetry expert or connoisseur. Personally, I'm not much of a poetry reader, but I'm a fan of imagery and emotive writing. The cool thing about poetry is that you can do that but NOT cake it in hidden meaning and layered themes. Sometimes, it's ncie to just write someting simple yet powerful. :)

Anyway that = ramble from me. Thank you muchly for returning to my author page.


All That's Left by iLuna17

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Then I saw Mum and Dad’s faces. It was the first time I had ever seen our father cry. And just like that, my already shattered heart split again. You broke our father, Al. Even Voldemort couldn’t do that. Dad looked like someone had stabbed him in the stomach, then twisted the knife for good measure. He and mum, they raised you, raised you to be strong, and you let them down. You failed them. You were a coward. A coward who broke our father.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: All That's Left

Perhaps it was just your comment at the beginning, but this story made me think of Alex's stories (and I mean that to be a very high compliment). You handle suicide so well in this, and something about the characterisation and subject matter just reminded me of her. Anyway.

Using James' perspective was an excellent idea, and I liked how you developed his character and his relationship with Albus. I liked how you showed them as almost opposing - Gryffindor and Slytherin, one not great with emotions and the other a great helper etc. James' character was certainly strong enough to sustain a fairly long inner monologue, and the story never dragged at all.

Albus was characterised so well, and differently to what I've read in the past. Often he's depicted as a Neville-like character, who finds his courage, or even a Hermione-ish type character, and I loved how you made him unique. I thought it was an interesting twist that Scorpius was in Gryffindor, and that Al, Rosie and Scorpius were all close friends - the connection to the trio was well-chosen and interesting. I liked how James thought of the bullying Al endured and the guilt James also feels, mixed with anger and sadness.

I thought James' progression of emotions worked really well - particularly his resolution at the end. Even though this fic works very well as a whole, there is definitely potential for an intriguing sequel.

I'm not quite sure what I think about the ending part - in a way I think the story might be more powerful without it - the line "That's not enough" would be a lovely ending, and I had certainly guessed that Albus was murdered, having seen James' description of him, and it would perhaps also leave the reader thinking more of how you can know someone and not know them simultaneously (if that makes sense). But it is well-written and does finish the story off... so sorry I'm sitting on the fence about that one.

And just one little timing thing - in the Epilogue, Albus is starting his first year and James is only starting his second, so the boys are only 1 school year apart.

Anyway, this was a poignant, reflective, thoughtful, well-written story.


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the amazing review. Alex: I'm assuming you mean welshdevondragon, yes? She was my beta, and she really helped me develop this story. I love her fics, and it was a real honor working with her, and it did remind me kind of about her fic where Lily's friend Jill kills herself. I love portraying James and Al. I think there's so much to work with, and I always pictured Al as a Slytherin, though I don't know why. I just think he's different, and that's how I write him. James: He was hard to develop. Alex said the most "real" moment was when he clenched his fist, and I agree. The revenge thing also seems like something the James in my head would do, and it adds emotion. The Ending: I'm glad you realized the true death of Al, most didn't. So props for that! :) Also, I thought it was an interesting twist, something to give the reader something more to think about, and the Albus bit was not in the first few (hundred) drafts, but I think it kind of works. I thought that as well, but some say it's different. I'll go fix it, and thanks for catching it! Thank you so much for the review, it really means a lot, especially with this story. Alex and I spent a good chunk of time working with it, and I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for the review! Ellie

Ribbons and Tangerines by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: A lot of people had found themselves bereft after the war, but Pansy Parkinson had never expected that she would be one of them. But a bizarre encounter and an impromptu dinner date served to change not only her fortunes, but her hopes of earning a little bit of redemption, as well.

This story has also been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Non-Canon Romance Story.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: ---

Hi Jess,

I have to admit I was a little nervous about reading it... I think I might have come across a Harry/Pansy story before and found it completely OOC. But really I shouldn't have worried, knowing that you're a fantastic author who can really make me believe the most unbelievable situations.

The most amazing thing about this was that Harry and Pansy were completely in character. Harry was perhaps not how I'd imagine him, but you certainly showed him believably. And he does have a 'saving people' thing. I also think you're right in saying that he would understand what Pansy's going through - I loved his line “Because I know what it’s like to not know when your next meal is coming from.”. It made me think of the chapter Snape's Worst Memory in OotP, because in that Harry could really identify with Snape - supposedly the 'bad guy'.

I also adored this paragraph - The world was supposed to have been a more tolerant place after the Battle of Hogwarts. Dozens of people had laid down their lives so that Mudbloods could walk freely amongst decent folk and be seen as equals. It just struck Pansy as ironic that, in this newfound freedom of theirs, the new world had seen fit to discriminate against its own kind in a different fashion. - I think that could very easily happen in post-war wizarding England because obviously some people have suffered immensely and want to blame someone. But ultimately it results in the same kind of prejudice which they fought against.

I thought Harry was very IC when he was talking about his guilt for those who died at the Battle, and I smiled at Pansy's thoughts, which also seemed very true to her character.

I liked how you redeemed her, but without turning her into a different person (I hope that makes sense).

And all because of an angry landlady, a cigarette, a tangerine, and a couple of ‘what if’s. - You really do know how to end a story! That was just the perfect ending for this... there's nothing else I can really say about it.

I also liked the idea about turning back the clock, and the way for Pansy things have reverted, in a sense, to the way they were, but nonetheless I think she is changed at least a little.

Just one little typo - you've written Eater to think about nearly anything else, (It's during their first 'date'), and I imagine you meant to write "Eager".

Anyway, loved the story despite initially being uncertain about the pairing. Great job!


Author's Response:

Well, considering this story was thrown together in, like, less than three days with little prior forethought...it's a miracle it isn't stupid, hehe. I had already written one in this exchange of a completely different nature, so I thought I'd try one that showed a bit more of the world. The thing I've noticed is that people are always intolerant about something or another, whether about heavier things like religion, politics, or morality, down to things like smoking, lifestyle choice, and clothing. We all do it, however much we might try not to do. And, as you said, I thought it would be very easy for post-Battle society to condemn anyone who was noted for pure-blood supremacy of any kind, no matter how little they had to do with the war. Harry knew what it was like to have people he didn't know pretend to know him and what he was like (both good and bad).

At any rate, after me ramblinb and staring at the page, I'll thank you for the lovely review and reiterate that I'm glad you liked it and thought it was plausible. Making a non-canon pairing believable is difficult, but yay that it didn't squick you. :D