Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
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Status: Member
Bio:
Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione
 

After All This Time by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: "After all this time?"*

"Always," said Snape.*

*Page 522, The Prince's Tale, of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, British Edition

Written for the Deathly Hallows challenge over on Poetry, Anyone?

Thank you to Julia for introducing me to pantoums, and Wendelin and Maple for the crit.


Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 114 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/04/11 Updated: 09/06/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: After All This Time

I don't really know anything about poetry, and I don't think I've ever heard of pantoums before, so I really have no idea if you did a terrible job of it. But I really doubt you did. To me, it read really well. The repetitions (which I assume are part of the form) flowed so beautifully and it was great subject matter to have those sorts of repetitions.

Yes, after all this time. That was a great way to end it, I think it's just so Snape, because he never did forget her.

Anyway, great poem. I really enjoyed reading it.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina! It's nice to get two visits from you in one day, particularly after a long, boring day of shopping. :D

I think Minna/minnabird once mentioned pantoums in her poetry thread over on the boards, but I only really understood the form when Julia set up the challenge for Poetry Anyone. Thank you for saying it read well -- that means a lot :)

The repetitions are part of the form, and I'm glad you thought it flowed well too. Thank you for such a lovely review, Katrina! I really appreciate it.

~Soraya~

 

Bruises by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Summary: A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American poet

Merope is covered in bruises -- inflicted psychologically, physically and verbally. But to what lengths will she go to escape this?

This is babewithbrains of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Bannermakers’ Hall Challenge. The banner used was Bruises -- they cover you -- Merope Gaunt, made by the very talented lullaby BANG/Jess.

:D This story has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Dark/Angsty. Thank you! ♥


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Dubious Consent, Strong Profanity, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 2645 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Bruises

It's a real shame that this fic only has 1 review (although it's certainly a lovely review and I echo everything Gina said). And as she said, without you saying it, I never would have guessed that this story gave you grief. I don't know if enjoyable is quite the right word, but it was an excellent read.

I loved the idea of using dictionary definitions of bruise (and heal) as the 'titles' for each section - it was something really different and really emphasised how many ways Merope had been hurt.

Right from the first paragraph, you create a great sense of empathy for Merope from the reader, which really made me want to keep reading despite all the violence. I think that opening scene really showed why she became how she did.

I think it was very brave of you to take on writing what happened after Ogden left, and I think you did it really well. The whole idea of Marvolo cutting her and demanding if her blood was pure is just chilling and disturbing, and yet so right for his character.

There's great irony... I think that's the word... that what stops Merope killing herself is hope for her child, and yet if she had, she would have saved a lot of lives. And yet despite knowing that her and her son's ends are not at all hopeful, you really showed a sense of hope that Merope could be healed.

Despite this, and the fact that she is covered in bruises, the baby fills the otherwise empty void within her, and it is all she has to live for. And that, however little, is enough for Merope. - That was such a well-written paragraph.

The present tense was really effective, because even though this was third person, it was like I was with Merope the whole time and it really gave the story a sense of immediacy.

Great story, and sorry it took me so long to review.

~Katrina

Author's Response: I know, I thought I'd have more, but it appears not :( Gina's review, I agree, was a lovely one, as lovely as yours, in fact! Thank you for such a thorough review.

The reason this story gave me so much grief was partly because I had never written in that era, but also because I hadn't written anything in months (due to school and RL stuff). Thank you for saying it was an excellent read (even though I have to disagree with you :P).

This story originally had no structure whatsoever, so it was good to have something to work from and the dictionary definitions are something I've seen before in fanfic. And you empathised with Merope? Yay. Thank you so much. I really struggled with the part when Ogden left, and this entire story has been redrafted about a billion times -- Marvolo cutting her was a scene I added after the first draft, possibly. (See? I can't even remember that :D)

I don't know how you do it, Katrina -- you point out these things that I did unintentionally. I had no idea of that irony, but now you mention it, it definitely rings true for me. That last paragraph was so, so hard to write, and it took about a billion rewrites before I was semi-satisfied with it. By that point, I was too frustrated with the damn thing for me to care anymore, so I just submitted -- my point is, thank you for saying it was well-written.

You happen to leave some of the most gorgeous and thorough reviews ever, so thank you so much for this gorgeous and thorough one. <3
~Soraya~

 

Do You Know Me? by Ascendio
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

The villagers of Little Devinton found Remus Lupin a very mysterious man indeed.


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2350 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/14/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Little Devinton

This was an interesting story - it's not that rare to read a story which starts from an outsider's perspective and then changes to the main character's, but it's rare to find a whole story about a magical character without a single explicit reference to magic, narrated from a Muggle point of view. And you did it so well.

You did a great job of characterising Remus - his actions the whole way through were completely believable and exactly as I would have imagined it. I smiled a bit early on at the scenes with Justine and Johnny trying to ask him out, and I think you chose a great spot to end this story, with Remus leaving Little Devinton forever and finally having found happiness - though it will be short-lived.

I liked the repetition of the beginning line at the end (yes I know you replaced 'mysterious' with 'interesting', but it's still essentially repeated). I also liked how you explored the idea that while the Muggles are curious about Remus, they would never ever consider that he was a wizard. In fact, they constantly look for solutions which seem natural to them and they can understand. I think that's an interesting comment on human nature, as we do always grasp for things we understand to believe.

This was a very unique and interesting read, great job!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! Yes, this was pretty difficult to write as I was trying to give a big idea of what Remus was like, but I essentially couldn't really reveal anything about him. I like your comment on how humans tend to grasp for the things we can understand, it seems quite true, especially regarding the Potterverse. Thanks for reading!

 

Supergran! by KarasAunty
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary:

Neville Longbottom is about to be measured for his first set of Hogwarts' robes when Gregory Goyle's father makes the mistake of insulting him. And in front of his grandmother, too ...

NOTE: Contains one (mild) sexual reference only.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2096 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: Supergran!

This story certainly made me smile, and you really nailed Augusta's characterisation. This line in particular - "A rather foolish supposition on your part, don't you think? After all, they admitted you."

I think it was nice that you showed a rare moment of Augusta actually expressing her love for Neville... because clearly in canon he feels unloved and like he can never live up to her expectations, so it was different to see a bit of a tender moment between them.

I thought Augusta's spell was funny and original... although it did make me think a bit of the Imperius Curse... but I suppose it's harmless in this form.

It felt like a few times you overwrote a little bit... for example this line The elder Goyle turned crimson at the slur on both his offspring and himself. - You don't really need anything from "at the slur..." because you've just shown that situation.

It was a sweet story though and it brought a smile to my face.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Hello Katrina,

 thanks very much for a well thought out and constructive review. The line you mentioned in particular is one that's been bothering me for days - I kept chopping and changing it, but in the end I grew so fed up I just left it as it was. But sometimes less is more, so I've whipped away everything from after the word 'slur'. And you're right: it does look better.

See? Your concrit in action! Thanks muchly for that.

It would have been so easy to depict Augusta and Neville's relationship as it is so oft implied in canon, and indeed writing it differently felt a bit ... strange. But I believe that despite all the comparisons to his his father, Augusta really did love her grandson for his own sake too. I'm delighted you liked the portrayal.

Imperius Curse, eh? Gosh, I never thought about that, though I can see why you might think it. Luckily. it's not a mind-controlling spell (not that Goyle Snr has much of a mind to control anyway), just something a grieving mother who abhors unnecessary violence concocted to make life difficult for the kind of thugs that destroyed her son and daughter-in-law ;)

I really appreciate the fact that you took the time not only to read, but to review too. It's always helpful to get some good constructive criticism.

Thanks again,

M ;)

 

You Have Until Midnight by Silver Badger
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: As Lord Voldemort and his Eeath Eaters approach Hogwarts, those within the castle walls prepare for the attack. Friends and families share what they understand may be their final moments together.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1922 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: You Have Until Midnight

This was an interesting and well-written story. I think what you captured best is the love these people have for each other, and how horrible it is for them to even imagine losing each other, and yet they are still willing to fight.

The present tense is very effective throughout the story, because it really forces the reader to be in the moment with these characters.

I think Minerva was a great starting place. She's one of those characters who in my mind is simply a part of Hogwarts, much in the way Dumbledore was, and she becomes a form of leader in the Battle. Just a little nitpick - you wrote She had spent forty-one years of her life here - it would make more sense if you wrote "She has...", as the rest is in present tense. She will do her duty to her school. - That was a perfect ending to her section, and it really moved me.

I think this line - Because never before has he said it, knowing they may well be the last words he ever gives her. - was the best part of Bill and Fleur's section, because that really sums up what I said at the beginning - he loves her and doesn't dare to think of life without her, yet he still fights.

I liked your Remus - the first time he appeared, he was appropriately pessimistic, eg the line - And who waits to oppose them? A mixed group of students, teachers, and members of the Order of the Phoenix. Those that are left, that is. Although I think I preferred his dialogue with Kingsley... I just think you wrote that better.

I loved Molly's mothering instincts in her section. It was especially heart-breaking knowing what will happen in the Battle. I think you really nailed her character though.

Fred and George's section was perhaps the best in the whole piece. It was short, but it really had that spark of life and humour which is so much part of their characters, and the final lines of that part were just heart-breaking. In a way, I think that might have been a better ending for the story.

However, the ending you did write is also good, particularly the repetition of "You have until midnight", but somehow I don't think it's quite as poignant as "See you later, Fred", knowing what happens in the Battle.

This was well-written, well-characterised and moving. Great job :).

~Katrina

 

Epithet by Dawnie
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Lily-centric. When she was little, she hated her name. It wasn’t quite right, not for her, and although she didn’t know exactly what it was that was missing, she knew that something was missing.

She’d listen with abated breath to the nicknames others gave her, hoping she’d find the answers in them. In all her short life, she’d been called many different things, and she was determined that at least one of them would fit.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 7206 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/22/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/24/11 Title: Chapter 1: Epithet

This is a very sweet story, and I think you really encapsulated Lily's life well, simply through what she's called. I think my favourite part was when she considered that she might have chosen Sev over her sister, and then he called her a Mudblood - there was a great parallel between Petunia and Sev there which worked really effectively.

You really grasped Lily's development as a character, through all the different names. I also enjoyed Sirius calling her Morgana - it gave this story a fresh touch. After all, the idea that Sirius got jealous of Lily is hardly new, but the way you used it felt really fresh and I really loved how she resolved it - on his terms, rather than hers.

One little comment - this paragraph - He’d started calling her that in their fourth year, and interspersed it between Evans and other ridiculous pet names that she hated. Fortunately, he’d given up on those – possibly because she threatened to hex him into oblivion when he used names like cookie and peach – but love had stuck, and he’d never stopped calling her that. - felt a bit repetitive, because you'd written all that in earlier sections. I think the story would work better without it.

I loved the ending, and the way you connect Lily and love, particularly because it works well with canon, as it is Lily - and love - which save Harry.

You did a great job of balancing Lily and James' relationship, her childhood, her friendship with Sev and the war so that this really feels like a story about Lily and everything she went through.

So this was a well-written and well-characterised sweet story, which I really enjoyed.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks for all the feedback! I'm glad you liked the Sirius bit, that was actually the hardest for me to write and I wasn't sure it would work well. The Freak-Mudblood section was one of the first that I wrote, and quite possibly my favorite. And you are completely right about the paragraph you pointed out. I wrote that section (Lily and love) before writing the pet names section (James comes up with weird pet names), and so at the time, the paragraph was necessary. But then when I wrote the other section, I didn't realize that the paragraph in question was now redundant. Thanks for pointing it out.

 

Summary: A sorting hat song that I actually wrote for a fic I'm currently working on, set in the Next Gen.
Also, this is my first ever posted fic-- I hope you like it!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 255 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Sorting Hat's Song

Firstly I have to commend you for managing to write this entirely in rhyme and with a good rhythm, which flowed really well and reminded me of the Sorting Hat song in PS. It had a sing-song sort of feel to it, almost like an extended limerick, which worked really effectively.

I enjoyed the message as well, and I thought you did a great job of explaining the past of the four founders in verse, although perhaps you might have mentioned the names of the houses?

I like the idea about "the choice is in you", but I'm not sure the Sorting Hat would actually say that... this is hard to explain, but I think the fact that Harry even thought to say what he wanted showed something unique in him... sorry, I can't really explain it, but I suppose times have changed and the hat might say this.

It can’t be decided by color, house, wars. - I really liked this line, I think it really summed up the whole message of the poem.

Great job, I really enjoyed reading this!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I've actually never written much poetry before, so I'm glad you thought it worked. I think with not mentioning the house names, I was trying to stress that it really doesn't matter, and the division is more superficial than everyone makes it. As I said in the summary, this was written to be in a next generation story, of which a main theme is: the war is over, this continued prejudice and division is ridiculous. So, I rather pictured that the Sorting Hat is getting quite fed up with all this fighting between houses. I also feel like more kids need to hear that, "It's our choices that make us who we are, far more than our abilities," because that's always been a really powerful quote for me. Thanks again for reviewing, it truly means a lot to me! -Claire

 

Whispers in the Night by lucca4
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Past Featured Story

"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell."

It's a secret, and it haunts you but you won't tell.

You promised.

This is lucca4 of Gryffindor writing for The Great Bannermakers' Hall Challenge.

It won …and I am still shocked!

Thank you, thank you, to my beta Alex/welshdevondragon, who has beta-ed this in the blink of an eye. She is amazing.

Also, thank you to Julia/the opaleye for the gorgeous, eye-dropping banner that inspired the story.

Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Dark/Angsty Story.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Non-Consensual Sex, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 2877 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: (Whispers)

I just read the other reviews and I completely agree... I don't even know what to say. This is brilliant. More than brilliant.

I loved your interpretation of Narcissa and her relationship with Andromeda - so often Narcissa is just a whiny child, and it was very interesting to see so much more of her. I also thought your Andromeda was great, and different - she's often depicted as a keep-your-head-down-and-follow-the-rules sort of character, but she is a Black and it was great to see some of those characteristics coming out.

The scene with Andromeda and Rodolphus was just so well-written... it's so disturbing and horrible that she had to go through that... and the writing is just brilliant.

The second person in this is absolutely fantastic - often it can feel stilted or unnatural, but it's just absolutely perfect for this story. It's almost like Narcissa is saying to the reader 'if you had been in my position, would you have acted any differently?'.

I apologise that this isn't a really coherent and long review, which this story really deserves, but I don't think it would be possible to find anything bad about it, so you can just take it that I love everything about it.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for such a beautiful review! I'm glad you liked the characters and the second person - especially second person coming from Narcissa's point of view, seeing as she's a character not many people like. I agonized over the Andromeda/Rodolphous scene, because I've never written anything like it before and I was trying to treat it very carefully. Your review was coherent and long and it made my day! Thanks again xx Ariana

 

More Than a Timepiece by tot_desidero
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Molly Weasley has enough to deal with throughout her day. When Arthur decides to start a new project in the middle of their sitting room it's the last straw. The tale of how a Muggle clock becomes so much more.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2880 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/15/11 Updated: 09/16/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I adore Molly and Arthur as characters and I think it's rather sad that there's so few stories about them... so firstly I loved this story simply because you wrote about them. I also think you really got their characters, particularly when it came to Arthur's shed.

I think you did a great job of balancing the domesticity of this story with the war going on at the time, because of course the war would affect them, but I thought it was good that it didn't take up too much of this story, because the war wouldn't have taken away the difficulty of raising 5 boisterous boys (sorry about the alliteration) and being pregnant at the same time.

I also smiled at everything Fred and George were getting upto, although it might have been nice if the other boys made more of an appearance. Then again, they weren't really central to the plot.

As he gripped her hands he gave them a slight squeeze. They made their way up to their room still holding hands. Just another day in the Weasley household, Molly thought before closing the door behind them. - I thought that was a really sweet ending and rounded the story off well.

I also thought this idea was quite creative - as in how Molly got the clock in the first place. Also I liked your use of "Mollywobbles".

I just had a few nitpicks:

Molly had had her trepidations at letting the boys out of her sight. The war against You-Know-Who had reached a peak and there seemed to be no end in sight. - Perhaps you could change one of the 'sight's, because the repetition doesn't sound great.

She had though his Muggle obsession would have abated after they married. - You missed the 't' on "thought", and I think it would sound better if you wrote "She had thought his Muggle obsession would abate after they married."

“Well I guess that kneazles out of the bag. - you need an apostrophe to make it "kneazle's" (because it's a contraction of "kneazle is") - I liked the originality of the expression though!

The hands were inscribed with his, hers and Bills’ names - it should be Bill's.

Anyway, sorry that my nitpicks took up so much of this review... they're really just tiny things which could be easily fixed and would make the story flow better. But all the big things, like character and plot, were really great.

~Katrina

 

Summary:

All her life, Tracey Davis had been good at one thing: staying out of the way of history. Yet as the Carrows sank their claws further and further into the heart of Hogwarts, it became increasingly difficult to remain unnoticed, no matter which side she was supposedly on.

When times are dark and the future uncertain, one must choose between silence and damnation. But could Neville Longbottom convince an oft-overlooked Slytherin girl that she is more than the sum of her house?


This story has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best General Story.




Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 4687 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/16/11 Updated: 09/16/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It was terrible... No actually I don't think that's possible... there's not a single story of yours I've read which I haven't enjoyed.

What I think I liked the most about this story was how you blurred the lines... it's easy to see bravery and cowardice in a really black and white way - those who stayed were brave, those who didn't cowards, and yet Tracey did do some brave acts but didn't stay.

Tracey was a very relatable central character - as far as it's possible, I could really imagine myself in her position. I think you showed her change of attitude really well, particularly having that first section introducing how she always had been.

I pray to myself that Neville Longbottom might live long enough to hate me forever. That was just a beautiful ending; in fact, the whole last section was just so well-written. I think that line really shows some of Tracey's selflessness - she really does care about Neville.

Neville was also really in character - there's a quality about him in which he always sees the best in people, so I wasn't surprised at all that he tried to convince Tracey to stay. I thought it was good, though, that she didn't, because I think that would have been quite cliched. And as I said at the beginning, the way you wrote it does blur the lines a bit, and it makes me think what I'd do, were I in that situation.

Sorry this isn't the best review, I'm a little bit tired, but I just read this and saw it didn't have any reviews yet so I thought I should just tell you how good it is.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Helloooo! I haven't posted anything in a while, so it's been a while between visits.

I'm all about writing the other side of the coin. Most everyone likes to think about the heroes and the protagonists and their neverending pits of bravery or about brooding, angsty pseudo-villains like Draco or Snape, but here and there, it's nice to consider the people who didn't stay and their reasons for it. I don't find Tracey to be a coward, honestly, but to be too pragmatic to stay. And as much as she might've wished she were different, she and Neville are too unalike. He would stay and fight until the world ended, but she knew that she wasn't going to find her way out of this situation.

Anyway, this is a bad, bad author response, as I'm headed out the door, but thank you very much for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and have a good evening!

~Jess

 

Lonely Remorse by Hullachan
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary: Petunia sits at her husband's funeral pondering how her family has fallen apart. The last thing she expects is for her nephew to slide into the back pew of the village church to pay his respects.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1777 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/19/11 Updated: 09/24/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/24/11 Title: Chapter 1: Lonely Remorse

This was a well-written story, and I think you grasped Petunia well. It also seems very likely that Harry would change his mind to come at the end, because, despite how he grew up, he has a strong sense of loyalty to family.

I had a real sense of Petunia's awkwardness and her shock every time she heard how much Harry now had, and as she realised how much she had lost.

I think it's interesting that Dudley went to jail because of his fear of the wizarding war... not just because he got in with the wrong crowd. I think it shows that in some ways, Dudley meant well, but he'd never been taught to control himself and I think his fate is rather sad.

Of course she had loved her husband; in fact, she had doted on him as she had doted on Dudley. But there was no use in pretending he was a wonderful man – not when the nephew they had both so horribly neglected was sitting behind her. I thought that was a great line, because it shows that Petunia does have some sense of reality and of what she's done, but also her grief for her husband - who, after all, gave her what she most wanted.

As Carol said in her review, I think it unlikely that the Dursleys wouldn't have heard about the end of the war, particularly since Dedalus was living so near them and protecting them, surely he would let them know when they no longer needed it...

But otherwise it was a lovely story.

~Katrina

 

The Question (Again) by Northumbrian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Harry is on his way to ask Ginny a question. No - not a question the question. How hard can it be?

Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3660 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/20/11 Updated: 09/23/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Question (Again)

I think I've been waiting for this ever since I read the Ron/Hermione Question. This one was just as amusing, with as many things going wrong, but still ending up being very sweet.

I loved the fact that Arthur figured it out first - I think he's a lot more observant than people give him credit for. I also found the way Harry got distracted by Ginny's photograph rather amusing - and this was a great line: Only Ginny could distract me from Ginny!.

But I think this was the best line in the whole story - ‘Master has been chasing Mistress for many years,’ my house-elf tells me. ‘And he always catches her. But not until she wants to be caught.’ That was so funny, particularly since it was coming from Kreacher.

Great mixture of funny and romantic, Neil.

~Katrina

Author's Response:
~Katrina

Thanks for the review. This one took a long time for fome reason. I knew that it wasn't right, so I left it. I "rediscovered" the rough draft a few weeks ago, deleted most of it, and started again.

In most of my stories Arthur will usually know, but never tell (that dates back to "The Mind of Arthur Weasley"). The calendar episode wasn't in the original version at all, and It's one of my favourite bits.

Kreacher surprised me, but he was mellowing after only a few weeks company in DH and after a few years in a house with frequent young guests, I think he'd pick a lot of stuff up.

-N-

 

Doubts by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary:

 

I've never felt this way before.

 

Fleur struggles with life and war. A missing moment from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

 

This is WeasleyMom of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Bannermaker's Challenge. The banner used was Doubts by TM_WandStick. I chose this banner immediately Toni--so gorgeous!

Yay! Those lovely SBBC people have added this story to the SBBC Hall of Fame! I knew there was a reason I joined that group. Hehe. Thanks, you guys!

 

Thanks so much to Natalie/hestiajones for beta reading this so close to the submission deadline. She is everything she is cracked up to be.

 

I'm not JK Rowling.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1924 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/20/11 Updated: 09/22/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

I'm not sure why this doesn't have any reviews yet - it really is very well-written. You really captured Fleur in this story, which can be hard, because I think the DH Fleur we see has changed from the "An Excess of Phlegm" Fleur, as well as the GoF Fleur. I think the title and main theme of this story, about doubt, really showed that, because in GoF she really didn't have any doubts.

That night under the blankets, in the dark of her room, a seed of doubt”planted by visions of fire-breathing monsters”stirred inside her. Perhaps it was new, the result of hearing the details of the first task; perhaps it had been there all along, sleeping, waiting for a situation with edges sharp enough to warrant its rising. - I just loved that paragraph, because I think it really shows when Fleur started to change, although she kept her confident exterior for much longer.

Just a tiny nitpick - you've written she had found the air but not the relief she’d hope it would - I think it should be "she'd hoped".

I loved the ending and Fleur finding something certain in her life. The two of them, together… this she could count on. This was enough. I think it's amazing that in so few words you can show all her doubts and yet still resolve them in showing what's most important to her.

I loved this story, Lori, and I hope it gets the reviews it deserves!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina! Yay, you always leave the most lovely reviews--I get excited when I see your name. :) I'm so glad you liked this and thought it worked. I get nervous where there are so few reviews, but I think that is because I write so much Romione, and those readers leave a LOT of reviews. So I'm spoiled. Not a lot of demand out there for a Fleur commentary. Hehe. But I was inspired by Toni's great banner, and I do love writing Bill... so Fleur is a natural extension of that. I think there has always been more to Fleur than what meets the eye. Rowling nearly tells us this herself in HBP with how she handles Bill's attack. Anyway. Thanks as always for the review (and the error you found... I've changed it now)! I appreciate it more than you know! Take care. ~ Lori

 

The Fish and the Pelican by Hotrav
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Luna and Neville retreat to the Hog's Head to explore the feelings of attraction that have been growing over the year. Is what they feel for 'real' or just the thrll of being young and having survived.

What they find or don't find will shape their futures



Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 3170 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/27/11 Updated: 10/03/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Fish and the Pelican

This was a very sweet story and I think you did a great job with both their characters. I was amongst those who, initally when DH (the book) was released, thought Neville and Luna would work together, but on further reflection and JK Rowling's statement that Neville marries Hannah, realised that Neville and Luna really aren't suited.

Yet, he knew they would not last outside of this room. If they tried to continue out there, he would either suffocate Luna’s glorious spirit with his need to be reassured that she would stay, or she would madden him with her total lack of structure in living her life. - That's justa perfect explanation of why Neville and Luna don't work together, I don't think I could have put it better.

And yet I also thought it believable that Neville wanted to hold on to Luna, because considering what they'd both just been through, she was someone familiar who he knows understands what he's experienced.

I think you did a great job with Luna, and she's a difficult character to get right. I thought it was so her the way she kept commenting on the sunrise, and the tale was something I could imagine her telling and really worked for this story. It was a little ambiguous, and I also liked that it confused Neville, because I think a lot about Luna confuses him.

I have to admit, for a while I was worried that in the "Fours Years Later" part, they were going to get together again, but what actually happened was great. I like that Luna knows Neville well enough not to just set him up with everyone (as Ginny is trying to, by the sounds of it) and actually picks someone with whom he'll be happy.

Anyway, in general I thought it was a very sweet story and well-written.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks. I t was Neville and Luna on the train during OOTP that brought me into the books my son was being read. I went to 4 high schools and I was a Neville-like character and the only friends I made in my last high school were Luna types. So I used that in my first story, 'Luna Lovegood and the Charmed Circle', I had Ginny trying to hook up Luna and Neville. However, Luna demures claiming that if Neville had a girl friend at that time he would spend all of his time trying to be what the girl friend wanted Neville to be and not what he could become. Neville needed to mature to be able to recognize his own worth and accept the love given. I felt Luna and her deep friendship would be the one to let him see and guide him. Thank you for you comments

 

Summary: When Lily asks James to teach her how to play Quidditch, James comes up with an interesting analogy...

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3444 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/30/11 Updated: 10/01/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Quidditch: The Metaphoric Dating Game

This was an enjoyable and playful story, which worked really well. Your tone was light and humorous the whole way through.

The analogy was very clever and perfect for this relationship - it added another reason to why James always has that Snitch with him, too, despite being a Chaser. It was clever, and I particularly liked how you aligned Lily with the Snitch... I'd never thought of it this way.

I liked the way James misunderstood what Lily meant when she refused him - it's a bit cliche, particularly in James/Lily stories, but considering the playful tone of this fic I think that really worked.

I smiled at how Lily could remember the tactic she'd overheard, even though she probably had hardly understood it, and yet didn't know what a Quaffle was. I did find that a bit unbelievable... surely she would know at least the basics? Although I suppose she could have been pretending to know less to flirt with James?

I just have a few tiny nitpicks - you've written though he was more sympathetic towards Jenkins' girl troubles than the lack of support he gets from his mates. - since your story is in past tense, it should be "got from his mates".

'Oh, is that so?' said lily, - you just missed capitalising Lily.

Anyway, they're just tiny things, the story was very enjoyable and well-written.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story :) And I appreciate the helpful hints! I'll have them fixed as soon as I can.

 

Summary: After the Final Battle, many lie dead, and the first funeral is the one that nobody wants to attend... But who walks the fine line between respect and derision, and how do they solve the problem of what to write on the tombstone of the most hated wizard this century?

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity

Word count: 1116 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/02/11 Updated: 10/06/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Epitaph - Tom Marvolo Riddle

I have enjoyed all your Epitaph stories sofar, and this one really measured up. I think you've really nailed the internal monologue style of writing - this feels like a really natural flow of ideas.

I'm also very impressed with the Epitaph you actually came up with - as Harry says in this story, it's hard to know how to sum up the life of a man whom everybody hated, without being hateful yourself.

But I think the most poignant part of this story was this - he made me who I am today. Without him, I’d be nothing. - I think Harry begins to come to this realisation in OotP, when he understands that he's not fighting Voldemort because of the prophecy, but because he couldn't bear himself if he didn't. Anyway, I'm going on a bit of a tangent here, but I think that is so true, because without ever meaning, Voldemort actually gave Harry a lot (obviously he also took a lot).

I also loved this paragraph. - Statistics, perhaps? The amount of people he killed? But would that be the amount he killed personally or the amount he was responsible for killing? And what about the people whose lives were ruined? How do you measure the worth of a life? Do you count Muggles as well as Wizards? Creatures as well as humans? Would you count the Death Eaters forced into his service? - I think this really shows the scope of the impact Voldemort has had, and it was really effective to do it through questions.

Your list of possible Epitaphs, as always, occasionally brought a smile to my face. Even though in his internal monologue, Harry thinks Dumbledore would want something like "Head Boy", I think what Harry actually chose would also be what Dumbledore would want, because Dumbledore is all about learning from others, and I don't think he would want anyone to pretend that Voldemort was anything other than he was.

Another well-written story, I'm looking forward to Fred's!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for your review (yet again), I think I've come to look forward to reading them. I hate to burst your bubble, but this is less of a mastery, and more that I think like Harry instead. I'm glad you liked the Without him, I'd be nothing. line, I debated with myself whether or not to include it for some time. I completely agree with you about the things that Voldemort gave to Harry, he would have been a completely different Harry had Voldemort not existed. The Statistics was really a bit of a joke for a friend of mine who claims that I only deal in melodrama, as I've always imagined that Voldemort would have affected the Wizarding World in a much larger way than he is seen to in the books, and at some point I'm sure there'll be at least a One-Shot with a more intelligent Voldemort posted by me. As to your point on Dumbledore, he's always struck me to be a second-chance time of guy. I honestly think that if Voldemort had turned up at Hogwarts, poked himself in the eyes, and told Dumbledore he was sorry with tears in his eyes that Dumbledore would have forgiven him, but that's just me. Fred's Epitaph has been posted, and is awaiting validation, so keep your eyes peeled! I look forward to the next review (hopefully!).

 

Centuries by Northumbrian
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 40]

Summary:
Harry and Ginny reach their centuries. Life after one hundred years in ten one-hundred word scenes.

Nominated for: Best Canon Romance (One-shot) story - Quicksilver Quills 2012


Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 1089 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/03/11 Updated: 10/06/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Centuries

When I saw the summary for this, I clicked somewhat reluctantly, expecting it to be lots of sentimental and overly fluffy moments from Harry and Ginny's married life. Seeing your name next to it, I should have known better, because it's not that at all. It certainly has some sentimental and fluffy elements, but never too much.

Firstly, I think it's amazing that you managed to write ten sections of exactly 100 words without any of the sections feeling abrupt. It gives the story an almost poetic feel.

I adored this line - it's just so Ginny. ‘She’s been married to him for more than three-quarters of a century, and despite being ancient, she’s neither deaf, nor daft,’ Ginny said firmly. ‘Harry Potter collapsing in the street will always be news.’. This story certainly had its amusing lines - like that one - but I was also on the verge of tears. I loved the idea that each of their children were living in one of the places that was important to them.

It’s hard, but no one lives forever. I made certain of that. - I loved that Harry said this to Lily, because I think it really shows his character - after what he learnt, no matter how tempting it might be to want to live longer, he knows that he can't.

I loved the way you used King's Cross at the end, and the idea of catching trains, from DH. It was just the perfect end to this.

I'm not quite sure how you'd describe this either, but "self-indulgent nonsense" certainly wouldn't be my words. It was very poignant, moving and well-written (and of course well-characterised, as your stories always are).

I think I felt the saddest for Hermione, the last of their friends to be alive. Anyway, I'll leave this here. Great story.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina
Thanks for the review.
I seem to be drawn to writing fluff, but I try to fight against it. Every single chapter was rewritten dozens of times to get the word count right. Dialogue tags are the first things to go, they only stay when they are essential.
Somehow, writing one hundred words became writing about one hundred years. Youve chosen to highlight my favourite line of Ginny dialogue and my favourite line of Harrys too. Im sure Harrys views wouldnt change, and the fact that he took a short visit to Kings Cross would help him cope.
I feel sorry for Hermione, too.
-N-

 

Queen by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: They called her the queen of Hogwarts. But queens lose their crowns so easily.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1051 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/03/11 Updated: 10/06/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Queen of Hogwarts

This was a really interesting story, and a different take on Olive. Somehow I'd always imagined her to be hardly any better liked than Myrtle, and therefore tease Myrtle horribly because she wanted to feel better than someone. But your take is very interesting.

Firstly, I loved the idea of the Queen, and the way you spoke of the other girls as "subjects". I think that particularly worked, because it showed not only that Olive was admired, but that she controlled those around her.

I also liked the idea that Olive finding the body and presumably feeling some sort of guilt - as opposed to Myrtle haunting her - was what really caused the change in Olive. I think you showed two sides of haunting - the way Myrtle physically haunts Olive, and the way Olive's memories haunt her, and you showed that the latter was more powerful and more painful. She could still hear Myrtle everywhere, mocking her, taunting. Even without a ghost, how could she forget the body on the bathroom floor? - I really just loved that part, it was so well-written.

I think it's interesting how both of these girls/women ended up ruined for life - because even though at the end, Myrtle has power over Olive and takes a mean sort of pleasure from it, her "life" is mostly very unhappy, and Olive is also unhappy.

Just a small tense problem - you've written She's had enough - which is in present tense, while the rest is in past. It should be "She'd had enough."

Anyway, I loved the story, as all your stories are, it was very well-written and different.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you!

 

Owl Post by Northumbrian
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Some letters are mundane: generic form letters which arrive with monotonous regularity. Other letters are life changing.
Some letters can be both.

Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2443 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/06/11 Updated: 10/12/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Owl Post

I read this quite a while ago... but I've been very busy so haven't got around to leaving a review until now.

As usual, it's an excellent story, although somewhat different to your usual style. The second person was very effective and well done - it can be a difficult perspective to write, but it flowed naturally here.

I loved how you developed the character of the owl - young, impatient and keen to be of service. I think that really added something unique to this story. The man looks at you and bares his teeth. This isn’t a threat; the humans call it a smile. - I loved that line, because it really showed that this is an owl and it also made me smile.

I loved the dialogue between Harry and Ginny - as usual, you really nailed their characters and the way they interact. I particularly loved this line - ‘He’ll be gone for most of our lives, Harry,’ says Ginny. It just fitted in really well.

I also loved this line - I told him that he’d been sharing me with the world from the day I was born. James will always be ours, Harry, but we have to share him with the world. - Ginny seems to be full of wisdom in this story!

Lily communicating with the owl was a lovely touch - I suppose she is named after Luna after all. I also smiled when Albus admitted that he would miss James but asked Harry and Ginny not to tell him.

~Katrina

Author's Response: ~Katrina
Thanks for the review.
I’ve used second-person only once before (in a chapter of Tales of the Battle). It forces me to change my style, which is probably no bad thing.
Working on an owl’s personality is interesting, fortunately magical owls are, it seems, keen to carry out their missions. I’ve been accused of making Ginny the “junior partner” or even weak in some of my stories. Sertainly she’s far from her best in Ginny’s Rival, but I didn’t mean to belittle her in that story, merely to show the problems new babies can bring. The changing dynamics of a family are something she’s much better at than Harry. She watched Bill marry a girl she (obviously) didn’t like. She knows much better than Harry that families grow and change. I think that Harry, having finally got a family, will sometimes struggle to let things change.
Lily is, indeed Lily Luna. Albus is a typical boy, desperately fond of his brother, but unwilling to let James know. After the age of about 5, boys don’t do feelings, especially not with other boys.
-N-

 

Almost Like Real Magic by ginevra715
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: There's a very pretty girl working in the paper shop in Ottery St. Catchpole who thinks George's card tricks are something marvelous – almost like real magic.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3605 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/07/11 Updated: 10/12/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This was a very enjoyable and amusing story... I have to say that I really believed Jenny was a Muggle... at least initially. When Alicia first mentioned Quidditch, I was suspicious, but I wondered if you'd just made a mistake, but it was her thoughts about pounds technically coming from trees that made me realise.

I loved the idea of someone getting back at Fred and George - highly amusing, although no doubt at least Fred will be keen to get the two girls back again.

I loved the bit when Fred and George were making names up for themselves... it feels like the kind of silly thing they would do.

I think you did a great job with the dialogue, which often carried the story, and always felt natural for the characters, even though what Fred and George said was occasionally ludicrous... but then, that is really part of their characters.

Usually in canon we see them in control of situations - basking in the success of a prank - so I smiled at George improvising, and initially thinking he was quite good and then realising he had made a complete mess of it.

Great job with the characters and making this an amusing and enjoyable read.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you! Your comment made me re-read my story and gain a whole new perspective on it. I can't read the story without noticing the hints I dropped about Jenny being a witch, because I know they're there. But from an outside perspective, her identity could technically be in doubt until the very end, which adds a new twist. I've always thought Fred and George deserved to be the victims for once :)

 
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