Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).
I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.
I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.
Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
Summary: Life is never smooth between lovers, especially when you wake up with them everyday.A tiny and fun one-shot featuring Scorpius/Hugo. This is for you, Lea. I really hope you like it! Thanks to Kara for being my eternal beta-reader. :D DISCLAIMER: I am not JK Rowling.
I think you really must have converted me, Natalie, because here I am reading another Scorpius/Hugo story... anyway. I have to admit that I rather enjoyed this. As Jess said in her review, it just shows the normalcy of life so well... when I saw this, I expected it to be about them as teenagers, because that seems to be the most common thing for people to write. But this was just a lovely insight into two peoples' adult lives, not at all dramatic, just normal.
Oh yeah, I loved the "Equally Weird Brothers". That definitely made me smile.
And of course, as usual, your writing was perfect for this story, it flowed well and was just generally amazing.
That didn’t, however, mean that it was a nice thing to live with a moody lover for hours at end. - I always thought the expression was "hours on end", but that could just be me lol. It just sounded a bit odd to me so I thought I'd mention it.
Anyway. Great story again :),
Author's Response: Katrina!
Summary: Not everyone recovers from the Battle.
A poem about loss and the tragedy for those left alive.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I doubt I would have had the courage to kill so many.
Nominated for a 2011 QSQ for Best Poetry, Thank you
This brought tears to my eyes, Carole. Generally I'm not a huge poetry fan and I don't have a lot to say about rhyme/rhythm... but this was just really beautiful. The whole thing just flowed so well and you can really capture emotions in so few words.
I think my favourite line was "She still weeps". It just really shows the unending grief that continues despite life going on. Having said that, I could quote the whole poem back and say they were all my favourite lines.
Just a really fabulous poem.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I don;t know much about poetry either - certainly not all the different forms, but sometimes like experimenting with using fewer words to tell a story or express an emotion. I don;t think Molly and Arthur would ever have fully recovered from Fred'd death. *sigh* ~Carole~
Summary: When Lily Potter is humiliated by her brother, she sees her chances of a date with the lush Greg Cadwallader disintegrate. But rather than hide away in the kitchens, she decides this time that James has gone too far. She wants revenge, but how does she get the punishment to fit the crime?
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling or have any drop of Weasley pranking blood in me.
This story is for Olivia (Apollonius) who likes a certain ship as much as I do, and has written the odd prank in her time. Happy Birthday!
Loved this story, Carole. You pulled off the typical sibling rivalry story but with something that made it quite different. I was surprised when I saw "Greg Cadwallader" instead of "Scorpius Malfoy" in the summary lol so I can't say I was really surprised when she ended up deciding that Greg wasn't for her. But it was a lovely way to end the story, because you didn't follow the cliche of 'she gets the guy' kind of thing.
I loved the James/Lily story... very creative and in character and also very fitting to this story.
I also enjoyed the connections to "High" (you really couldn't resist throwing Scorpius in there, could you?), and I think what was amazing about this was that your writing was so similar to in "High", that it really could have been another chapter of that.
Author's Response: Hey, Katrina, thank you for the review. This ended up as a sort of High prequel, I guess. And the nods to my Lily were always present (apple loving). The green beret, btw, is a Natalie inspiration because she drew Lily with a hat knitted by her grandma/ randomness. Thanks again and glad you liked the story. ~Carole~
The funeral of Andromeda Tonks was a strange affair, thought Lily Potter. It was hard to understand how so many people could send her off into the next life yet seem to mourn her so little. Or maybe it was just a stark reminder of what it truly meant to die.
But someone understood how she really felt, if only just a little.
This fic is a sort of sequel to one of my other stories, All the Time in the World. It's not necessary to read it, but allusions to events do occur.
And how about a Happy Birthday to Olivia/Apollonious! :D
Lovely writing, Jess. It was simply too much for Lily to process at the moment. Halted just on the perimeter of the gathering, she choked back a sob or two before she didn’t have it in her to fight it anymore. She missed Teddy. She wanted him to come back to mourn his gran like they all should’ve been doing. She didn’t want to be mourned by hollow men with even more hollow respect for her life and experiences. That just really summed up this story for me, and you wrote that hollow feeling so well throughout the fic.
It was so sad that the most important thing to people was keeping up appearances. You wrote this so well in all the interactions between the characters. The scene between Harry and Lily was wonderfully written.
I think I'm probably always going to disagree with you about Harry and Ginny... the way you write them isn't how I envision them, but at the same time, I can see how your creations come from canon. So they're not OC, just different. It connected very well to "All The Time in the World" (although it's a fair while since I read that, so I don't remember it really well). I hope this paragraph makes sense...
Anyway. Wonderfully written and wonderfully characterised, Jess.
I suppose my goal in writing this was to show that little part of all of us who think of ourselves more than we think about others. I theorise that part of Lily's breakdown was that she saw she was doing just that very thing and it disgusted her. No one wants to think that they're selfish and inconsiderate.
The interaction with Scorpius is actually bit hard to explain in the story. I am hoping that my intention was clear and that he and Lily were experiencing the same sense of surreal detachment to the funereal process and hoping that their own passings were not so nondescript and unmarked. It would be just plain depressing, which was why he was so inattentive in slamming into Lily. He was so deep in thought about certain things that trifles like looking where he was going and/or apologising for mowing someone over didn't really occur to him. And then what happened after that was basically a genetic takeover with Lily getting him back and then their subsequent pissing contest outside. Of course, I try to add these sorts of subtleties into stories with the faint glimmer that someone might notice or not mind listening to me ramble about it in reviews. You're really lovely about listening to my rambles. :D
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the story and connected with the themes I wanted to put across. You are so lovely a reviewer. And I'll keep telling you that until the cows come home.
Summary: There is more than one kind of ghost. There are actual physical ghosts, the imprints of departed souls who wander between worlds. There are photographs and portraits that show dead people, faint imitations of what they were in life. Then there are the less obvious ghosts. The little reminders we get every day, the things we can't forget. Can two people constantly haunted by the ghost of their best friend be happy... especially if they are the ghosts?
Julie, this was just a lovely story.
The opening/summary was gripping, interesting and thoughtful, and just so perfect for these two characters. I think George and Angelina's relationship is interesting, because she did go out with Fred at one point... though in canon it's never quite clear how serious that was. Anyway. The way you interpreted it was beautiful and at the same time heart-breaking.
The style of writing was really new and different. You developed both their voices so distinctly and I could always tell which one was 'speaking'.
This was beautifully written and a great, though heart-breaking, story.
Author's Response: Katrina, I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I thought that, regardless of how "serious" Angelina's romantic attachment to Fred was, it would still be sad to be married to his twin. Thank you for the compliment on style. Many thanks for reviewing. Julie
Hermione never left Harry's side...
...But that doesn't mean she never thought about it.
As you know, I'm not a huge poetry fan, but this looked interesting and I knew it would be good as it was written by you, so I clicked. (I also wrote a story just a few weeks ago with the same title... but getting off track here.)
You captured Hermione so wonderfully here. Of course she would have thought about leaving or wanted to leave at certain times, and yet the last line is so perfect, too, because for that reason she never would have. (If that makes sense.)
You created the setting of the tent and both Hermione and Harry's moods in so few words and so well.
You know, I don't know if I ever could've written an entire fic about Hermione angsting over whether to leave Harry like Ron had, but poetry was the perfect medium for it. As you noticed, it's a very emotional decision, and emotions lend themselves so well to poetry that I couldn't have picked anything else more perfect to display her internal struggle.
I know you don't consider yourself a poetry aficionado (truth be told, I'm the furthest thing from that myself), but you do well in the way you pick up themes and feelings. Hopefully the poets of MNFF can increase your enjoyment of this particular genre. :)
Thanks for reading and reviewing as always!
Summary: "It's really rather tooth and claw. Most things want to bite or sting or kill you," Gloria Greengrass tells Winston Flint, as they walk through the woods together after Lucius and Narcissa Malfoyâ€™s wedding.
Shortly afterwards Gloria is found murdered. As the Auror Fabian Prewett begins to question the suspects, he finds himself asking who would want to kill a fifteen-year-old girl?
This is welshdevondragon of Gryffindor writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt number two
Due to the current MNFF glitch, I have changed the rating to 3rd-5th years BUT this is a 6th-7th years story, and therefore should be read as such.
I can't believe how quickly you've updated this - and "A Darkling Plain" as well (I haven't got past the first chapter on that one yet though...). Anyway. This was a wonderful beginning to a story.
I love Gloria as a character - there's something almost Luna-ish about her and yet she's also quite different. She had just turned fifteen and therefore only recently been allowed to drink wine, and she was feeling slightly giddy. I loved this line, because it gave good background details on her but also shows that she tends to follow rules and that the idea of growing up fascinates her. I do hope you don't kill her off. But she does seem like the perfect victim.
Winston Flint was also portrayed very realistically - you really showed him as a teenaged boy who's not quite sure what he should think. He had a similar sort of innocence to Gloria, I thought, which was nicely contrasted with Florence's infidelity.
I'm very much looking forward to reading the rest of this - you've set up an interesting scene.
Author's Response: Ironically it's when I don't really have the time to write that I write the most- although the D/A queue is moving very quickly at the moment, which is part of the reason ADP is going up so fast.
I'm pleased you like Gloria. She is Luna-ish, but I'm pleased she's different. I really like her, but I know some people, in later chapters, thought she was a bit gruesome. She is interesting.
Honestly Winston Flint is one of my OCs whose given me the hardest time, so it's nice you think he's realistic and has the right teenage innocence whilst wanting to grow up, I hope he continues to be realistic. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest! Alex
I've loved this whole story, Alex. I'm glad you included the Epilogue, because things wrapped up very quickly at the end of the last chapter and the Epilogue was so well-written and such a wonderful read.
I had been suspecting Regulus since chapter 3. You just did such a wonderful job of characterising him - I liked how you showed his disgust but how he managed to make everything sort of academic and not think about it. As I said before, the Epilogue was so well-written, you captured his character - something of a tortured soul - so well. I don't really know how to describe it.
Bellatrix was also wonderfully written. I could really see her as the Bellatrix of Thin Red Lines as well. Rodolphus' reaction to her was the most vivid image, I think, but throughout she was chillingly cold and emotionless and manipulative.
I wasn't quite sure why the Marauders (assuming that the wolf, dog and stag were them) appeared in the story - I mean, I know Remus killed the fox, which helped develop Gloria's character and showed what happened then, but it just seemed a little... random to me.
I don't think Gloria is morbid or gruesome - I see her more as very honest and simultaneously aware of the lies and deceit which surround her, and not quite sure what to make of it so she retreats to nature, which she understands. Well, that's how I see her anyway (I hope it's at least partly in line with what you meant).
Humans always had a choice, no matter how horrific it seemed. I loved that line, because it connected this story really well to canon and it shows that Regulus understands what Voldemort never did.
Nothing could ever be proven. This is a fantastic way to end a mystery, because it's usually the kind of story which promises justice and a solution.
I liked Florence's characterisation in this - it linked really well to that one-shot you wrote about her (sorry, can't remember the name) and you wrote her desperation so well.
I did like the ending, and I'm glad you changed it so it wasn't AU, partially because I prefer canon-compliant, and partially because what you have written just works so well.
Another excellent story, Alex.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it :) It's lovely that you read so much of my stuff- it makes me feel really happy that you think it's good enough to read more of, and not just one story. I'm also really pleased you thought the Epilogue was good- I really enjoyed writing it, though the genius of the idea has to go to Soraya.
I'm also pleased that you had your suspicions but still enjoyed it. If I guess whodunnit then I normally get annoyed with the author for not being cleverer than me- :)
The Marauders- I hadn't intended on having them. And they were a bit random but, honestly, I couldn't resist the possibility of including them. I had the image of the fox first and then realised I could have Remus responsible for it. I have tried and failed at writing the Marauders well so this seemed my only opportunity to write about them.
You've got Gloria perfectly––nature is black and white, whereas our lives aren't and growing up scares and excites her (as it does most people I think) but she retreats more than most. I think Viv says something similar about nature in ADP.
I found ending this story really difficult, so it's nice you liked that ending. I do find murder mysteries where everything is tied up neatly really irritating. Crimes in RL are more jagged then that so I don't see why in TV it should be any different. And, despite some minor canon errors in nearly every story, I am ideally a canon girl too. Anyway thank you so much for the lovely review-I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Alex
Summary: Florence Delaine thought that all she needed in life was a wealthy husband. When she marries the violent Edgar Parkinson, she discovers that money cannot buy her happiness and determines to thwart her husband in the few ways she can.
Florence is a very minor character in my story Thin Red Lines and a more important one in another story of mine, Tooth and Claw. This one-shot takes place before Tooth and Claw.
Nominated for a best dark/ angsty story Quicksilver Quill. Thank you!
Due to the current MNFF glitch, I have changed the rating to 3rd-5th years BUT this is a 6th-7th years story, and therefore should be read as such.
Alex, you just blew me away with this... I'm speechless. It's disturbing and frightening to know that there are people like this. I don't know how you managed to get into Florence's character so well, but that's what amazes me about your writing - all your stories feel slightly different. So in my mind, Florence wrote this, not Alex.
I loved how you showed Florence's desperation to justify herself. Don’t judge me. Please, please don’t judge me. To me, that's what this story really is. Her trying to prove to herself that what she's done is okay, or good.
I wanted to feel bad for Florence, and yet at the same time it was hard. Lines like It takes someone stronger than me to get a job and I hated the idea of working. made her just seem weak and whingy... and yet I still didn't feel like I could wholly blame her for what she chose.
I loved the contradictions in this. For example, Florence says this right at the beginning: Which, in hindsight, was a bad decision. Not necessarily marrying, but marrying him., and yet she seems to be trying to prove that it was a good decision. I think this really showed her character. I also loved how you showed that in the last line. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since I was eighteen, it’s that money can buy anything. Well, nearly anything. That 'well, nearly anything' just adds sooo much to this story.
Also I loved how this fits in with your other stories - it always impresses me when people not only fit stories in with the vasts amounts of canon, but also more new things they've created themselves.
I think it sad how many people say the Hogwarts years are the happiest of their lives. You get to eighteen and it’s all downhill from there. Or, at least, it was for me. I love the opening line, but the next sentence doesn't quite make sense to me. I thought she was saying 'I hate it when people say that because it's not true for this reason...' so it didn't quite make sense to me.
Anyway. This was just amazing.
Author's Response: I don't really know how I wrote this/ where it came from. Well, kind of since I've always been interested in how pre-normalising of divorce/ gender equality women deal with being in a marriage where they are automatically at a disadvantage. But of course with Florence she's chosen it for money. So I'm glad you got the duality of that- that she has to some extent chosen this- because I agree with you. I find it hard to sympathise with her, so I'm pleased you think I've pulled off her voice.
And also, particularly with the first person, I really hope that my characters sound different so you saying that this didn't feel like I wrote it but like Florence writing it made me really happy :)
I see what you mean about that first sentence. It kind of builds up to a contradiction and then there isn't one. But I quite like that. Anyway thanks for the review. I'm slightly in shock that you thought so highly of it, but thank you :) Alex
Summary: In a world destroyed by bitter hatred, where magic is gone and her family dead and buried, a young woman makes her way to the Department of Mysteries, where she finds the one thing she was least expecting.
Wow. Really, really, fantastic, Gina. This was so original and different and yet you stuck to canon and the characters were believable as humans. Sadly the Muggles' actions were also believable.
I loved the opening. You established character and setting so quickly, and you gave such a great sense of the bleakness of this world - even though the Muggle world is intact, there was definitely a sort of post-apocalyptic feel to this which really added to it.
To be honest, I don't think this story seems like it's missing something - you explain enough background in the story for it to make sense.
The idea that a Squib from a Pureblood family genetically created a plague which would wipe out wizards was very believable and creative. Although this line He had been born to magical parents, but without magical ability. seems a little redundant... I think all your readers would know what a Squib is. Just a small thing. It is interesting how humans always persecute those they fear - the round-up of wizards made me think of WWII (in fact I recently saw a French film called "La Rafle" which was about this very thing), and the way the Nazis persecuted Jews because essentially they feared them, or they didn't like the fact that Jews often occupy high-paying jobs etc. Anyway. That whole idea came through very well.
I loved the new beginning/death imagery at the end, and how you called that room the "Chamber of Death". It functioned so well to show the turning point for both these characters. I think it's interesting that they both introduce themselves with their middle names - it's like they're trying to grasp on to the world that they belonged in, but no longer exists.
Just a comment - My cousins died one by one, even Victoire and Dominique and Louis - if Margaret is Harry's granddaughter, Victoire, Dominique and Louis would be her aunts and uncle, not cousins.
Also, I loved the setting being at the Veil, particularly as it's inside the Ministry. They're at the heart of a lost society, it almost feels like they're visiting ruins - except the buildings aren't ruined. Anyway. Lovely choice there.
When Margaret lost her magic - was that because she had had the fever but hadn't actually died?
Anyway, this was beautifully written and unique.
Author's Response: Katrina, thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm especially thrilled because I know this story is a bit bleak and unusual. I'm really glad the things I explained in the end notes came through in the story. Maybe I"ll edit that a bit, but I wasn't sure someone would wonder what in the world was going on. I've already edited the bit with Victorie, etc. - great catch, lol! I appreciate you pointing that out. Let's see - yes, fear is so often a motivator. It was for Voldemort. Yet his response wasn't to go out and destroy everything - he wanted to conquer it. I could see Muggles being so scared as to destroy wizards, but I really, really would like to think we're better than that now. Let's see - oooh, their middle names. It wasn't so much to ground them in their world, but to hint at the world to come. Look again and maybe you'll see. :) And yes, I think that Maggie lost her magic to the fever, but still survived. Not being a genetic scientist, I have no idea if that's really possible, but being a writer, I do. :) Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
Summary: She was the Zeitgeist Girl – the face of the Spirit of the Age. Beautiful, talented and engaged to one of the most famous men in the wizarding world. Astoria Greengrass had it all – except now she was dead.
Oliver Wood, ex Quidditch professional, is the detective in charge. Tough and experienced, he can break the most hardened criminal, but how will he manage to prise information from the Malfoys?
This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt #2.
This is also Carole of a house in London writing a mystery especially for Kara, a visitor to this fair land, because it's her birthday (and not because she's the judge).
Thank you Natalie (hestiajones) for beta'ing this story.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. She would probably come up with something far more original.
I was wondering what was happening between Oliver and Daphne, though I was still a little surpised that they ended up together. It added a nice touch to the ending of the story.
I loved the Poirot-esque scene in this chapter. I was pretty sure it wasn't Daphne, although when Wood accused Lucius I was almost convinced that it was him. I was suspecting Marcus Flint too. But anyway, you managed to keep it suspenseful til the end.
I enjoyed Oliver and Daphne's discussion about Sorting and stereotyping, and how you tied that into the ending. It added something different to a straightforward crime story.
Anyway, this was an excellent story and I really enjoyed reading it and guessing who did it :)
Author's Response: I'm glad the suspense held up. Because I always knew who it was going to be, I wasn't sure I'd done enough to stop people suspecting straight away. There wasn't a huge pool of suspects either. I read a lot of Poirot type mysteries, so that's is the reason it followed the Christie route with the denouement. Thank you very much for the review, I had fun writing it, even if certain parts were tortuous. ~Carole~
This is a wonderful start, Carole. Oliver Wood is a great choice as a detective because he's so determined and persevering, it's not something I would have thought of, but it works very well.
I wasn't entirely surprised that it wasn't Astoria - there isn't an AU warning and plus with all the 'she was acting strangely' stuff I was suspecting Polyjuice Potion. But as for who committed the murder... well usually I'm quite terrible at figuring that out lol. I don't think it's Daphne - she's too obvious with that last line and the cigarette, but I don't really think it's Draco either. Lucius did seem a bit uptight though... anyway. I'm not quite sure what the point is of telling you my suspicions because you're not going to confirm them or tell me I'm wrong anyway lol. I suppose it shows that this is a really gripping start and I'm really keen to find out though.
You've set up a very interesting family dynamic here, particularly between Daphne and Draco (who are of course not really family yet...)
This whole first chapter is excellently written and Oliver really feels like a detective in a crime story. So great job on that.
Also I happened to be on the Top Tens and noticed that you're now the most prolific author on mugglenet :) So congrats for that.
P.S. Happy Birthday Kara for several days ago...
Author's Response: Darn those warnings, and my own canonicity! Glad you're enjoying the story so far. I find mysteries an absolute joy to read but a real chore to write. so I hope it doesn't creak too much in the later stages. Thank you for the congrats on the Prolifics list, I doubt I'll be top for long, Jess and Gina are hard on my tail. ~Carole~
Summary: As soon as he saw her, Draco knew she was the one. But Astoria wasn't like any girl he had ever met. To get her, he would have to become something beyond who he was. He would have to get his life back in order and change for good.Written as a birthday present for two fierce lawyers of Ronald Weasley - Amanda/ahattab33 and Lori/WeasleyMom. Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. Winner of the 2011 QSQ's Best Canon Romance Story (Chaptered)
This is a wonderful beginning. The idea of having Goyle get his life together in comarison to Draco is fantastic, because Draco has always felt himself superior and yet now look who's doing well...
You've shown a change in Draco even over this first chapter, or at least a beginning of a change in how he thinks. I'm very intrigued to see how you write him picking up his life and moving on with it, because I think it's very difficult to do (I'm sure you'll do it beautifully though). Often I read a Draco who either hasn't changed at all or who suddenly cuts out his family and becomes 'good', neither of which to me is realistic. And I'm ranting here... Anyway. It looks like you have a really solid Draco - great character development and very canon-compliant.
I love Astoria. “They are forcing us to marry,” she said bluntly. “I don’t want to. Do you?” She seems to cross her parents' path and not really care much, which is great. Just what Draco needs lol.
Also, very creative that they were going to be forced to be married and stopped that and now something could start...
Sorry, Natalie, for this long rambly and slightly pointless review... main thing is, I loved the story :).
Author's Response: Ack! I am scared of expectations. :(
I don't think I've reviewed this for a couple of chapters, but seeing this fic come up on the Most Recent list always brought a smile to my face. This story was so excellently written and such a wonderful mixture of seriousness and humour.
I loved the Epilogue because you really showed how he had changed. Well, you had really shown his change in the earlier six chapters but this really highlighted it. I think this is possibly the best Draco characterisation I've ever read, it's certainly one of the best. Everything about the way you've written him just fits so perfectly with what we know about him in canon, and yet you add something really great as well.
Back to my comment earlier about the humour - this line was just awesome!
The celebrant must be a spectacular moron to even pose those questions..
So over all, fantastic writing and characterisation which made for a great read :).
Author's Response: Katrina!!
Ooh I'm the first person to review this chapter... and I have to say, I'm rather impressed with how quickly you updated this. I hope they keep coming this fast!
This chapter really followed on from the previous one. I just love the idea that Draco's life is even more pathetic than Greg's... I liked Draco's epiphany at the end and I'm rather looking forward to his interraction with Astoria. You're showing his 'path to redemption' realistically, but as you said in your last response, this is actually quite light as well. So good job on that.
Chloe is... interesting. Does she like Greg because she can control/manipulate him? Or am I being a bit mean to her? It just seems that she's too intelligent for him... not that intelligent and stupid (not meaning that as a derogatory term) can't be together, but she doesn't seem the type to settle for him because he's 'loving' and 'caring'. Or maybe she likes having a charity case?
Anyway, lovely writing as usual Natalie, I'm looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Katrina, I have finished writing the entire story. :D I might need to retouch the chapters, or even rewrite, but the first drafts are all complete.
Summary: As Head Girl, Lily Evans is used to the odd things that happen at Hogwarts. Very little fazes her – especially when it comes to the Head Boy and his gang. But when she discovers there’s a new girl at Hogwarts, who has entranced all her friends, she’s determined, along with James, to find out the identity of the mystery witch.
After all, since when has Hogwarts accepted American Exchange Students?
And just why has Peter stopped eating sausages?
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and if I was I wouldn’t admit it and put my name to this piece of silliness.
This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt # 1.
I also dedicate this to all those of you who love a good MWPP cliche.
Thanks Nat-a-tat (hestiajones) for the beta job especially in the last chapter.
This was very fun to read, Carole. I loved how you took some well-worn cliches (eg the American exchange student who is beautiful and everyone - particularly Sirius - falls in love with) and turned them completely on their head!
You nailed everyone's character... I smiled at James and Lily's covert relationship (I mean communicating through magazines... really...). I also smiled when Lily thought something along the lines of "I have to go to the library and check this" - such a Hermione moment.
Dumbledore was very in character and rather amusing. I also liked how you incorporated the myth and Charlie's Angels - which I haven't actually seen (although I did know that Farrah Fawcett played Jill Munroe for some reason). But anyway, it made the story fun, particularly when James was reading the Muggle magazine.
Anyway, before I continue rambling... this was a very fun and enjoyable read.
Author's Response: Glad you liked this. It was a bit of fun and an indulgence to write, and to be honest I don;t think it's very good. However, I liked being silly with the cliches - hee hee. Thanks for reviewing. ~Carole~
Summary: Hermione is working for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement on repealing old laws that favor purebloods, while Ron has recently left the Auror Office to join his brother at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. When Hermione decides to move to Australia to be with her parents, Ron is forced to confront the reasons behind her abrupt decision. Yet there is more going on than he realizes, and a simple proposal takes him to the other side of the world, where they will face one last test of their love. This story is now complete!
This is an interesting start to a story, Gina. Personally I think Ron and Hermione would have been married before Harry and Ginny, but of course that's personal opinion, and you've set this situation up realistically.
Ron was wonderfully in character. It's very believable that he hadn't realised that Hermione was looking for marriage, and even that he hadn't thought about it that much. Also the way he changed jobs for her was very in character.
I liked how you included little details, like where Hermione had been working before her current job and including Crookshanks in that scene between Ron and Hermione - it really adds something to the story.
Initially I wasn't sure about Hermione in this - I found it hard to believe that she would really spring this on everyone just two weeks before she left. But the more I think about it, I can see her character there, because this is obviously something she feels conflicted about. It was typical of her to already have a job there - in a way I can see her looking for a job to make the decision easier for herself - as in, if she finds something, she'll have to go. The dialogue between the two of them was excellently written, too, and I could feel both their characters in that.
And possibly my favourite thing about this chapter is Arthur - you have just nailed his character. From "scrutiny" to the way he's already thought about bringing the ring to his support of Ron... just really really really spot on.
This chapter almost feels like a one-shot (although if it were one, the ending would be a bit inconclusive) because Ron has really learnt something and developed as a character. Although since it's going to be longer, I suspect that Hermione won't say yes... which I think would be more realistic anyway, because there's obviously holes in their relationship which need sorting out before they can come to that point... anyway, I'm rambling here.
A great beginning and I'm really looking forward to the rest.
This was a great chapter - adding in something darker and more mysterious about Hermione's parents justifies her actions in the first chapter more. There was something almost Harry-ish about the way she decided that she needed to do this on her own. Usually when he does this, Ron and Hermione find out and manage to help him, so I'm hoping that Ron follows her to Australia and can help her.
All the dialogue between the two of them was written so well and their characters were both done excellently.
I liked that this was more from Hermione's perspective - you did a great job at showing her indecision and therefore how she used everything to justify what she'd chosen (eg finding out that Arthur had suggested it).
Anyway, sorry this is a shorter review than the last, this is continuing to be excellently written and now that you've added mystery to it I'm looking forward to the next chapter even more.
Summary: When the backbone of Slytherin House is in need who is there for him to turn to? First in a series of three - If, So and Then.
I came across this because I've very much enjoyed your Epitaph series. I have to admit, I'm not quite sure what to think about this story. As much as I believe that Draco redeems himself post-war and that obviously he seems more of a bully in Harry's (and particularly Ron's) eyes, but somehow I felt this story pushed it a little too far.
I loved the idea that Draco held the Slytherins together, and that he was the go-to person, however there are times in canon when he seems only to care for himself. But I think you're right in showing that things are very different from his perspective, and we certainly see that more in HBP. So sorry, I'm sitting on the fence a bit here. I suppose what I'm saying is that whilst reading the story I absolutely believed the character and I thought you created him well, but having thought a bit more about it I wonder if you've just pushed his character a bit far.
Also, I can't remember if you put an AU warning on this (sorry), but following canon and since you've said that Pansy is in seventh year, Hermione couldn't be there. I thought her comforting Draco was a nice scene, but again I wondered if she would... I certainly think she is less judgemental of him than Ron and Harry. But anyway, in terms of the story and Pansy's perspective, using Hermione in that situation worked really well. And also since the story is called "If" I think you can get away with less believable situations, because there is a doubt (for me at least) of whether this actually happened.
Also the lyrics of the song were beautiful and really added to the story.
His mother had loved his father wholly, but Lucius had never loved anyone as much as he loved himself. - I think that is very likely what the Malfoy household was like - we see in canon that Narcissa obviously understands love, at least for her son, but Lucius does seem to care only for himself.
I liked how Pansy narrated the story, but it was really about Draco and the complexities of his character. That was very effective.
So I think it was a wonderfully written story, I'm just not sure if you pushed the characters too far.
Author's Response: To address the first few concerns you raised - this story is a kind of alternative seventh year. There is a note on the fic which does mention that the events of sixth year didn't really happen either - so Draco didn't try to kill Dumbledore, etc. This isn't Draco redeeming himself post war, it's Draco mid-war, totally confused as to what to do in his life. I made Draco the go-to-guy for Slytherin because I couldn't imagine that all of the overly ambitious Slytherins would just accept his leadership, unless he had something to give them back. There are times in canon where he is very selfish, but here I've sort of chalked it up to being a teenager - he can't be expected to care about the world before his time, in my mind. There is an AU warning on this. Hermione here is basically a Gryffindor Draco, in relation to comforting people. I think that Hermione would seriously struggle to walk by someone upset, as she's always seemed to me to be particularly caring. The song inspired this fic, it's been one of my favourites for many years (in a non-sequitor, I go to see the band live tomorrow!). There are two other fics in this series, So and Then, which have been posted here already, which take this on a little further. I'm personally at odds with how things might have gone with the Malfoy household. In this fic, Lucius is a cold hearted narcissist, but in others I've written he's a particular family man - I can't quite make up my mind, so I usually mix and match from both. If I did push the characters too far, I can only say that I enjoyed pushing them. Some of my favourite fan fiction pushes characters particulary far past their boundaries, and at the very least, they always make me think about motivations. Hopefully I may have done a little of the same for you. Thanks again, for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I just read your lovely response to my review... and want to apologise, as I didn't read the warnings before I started reading. So that invalidates about half my review!!! So I just thought I'd leave you another review to say I realised this, and that I think considering this, you've actually done a goob job with the characters - you're right, Draco is just a teenager and if you disregard books 6 and 7, this fic actually makes a lot of sense.
Author's Response: Aw, you don't need to apologise! I freely admit I skip warnings... life is much more fun if you just run into danger! Thank you for the review, again, and I'm really glad you liked this!