Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
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Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione

Rotten Resolutions by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Ron and Hermione make New Year's Resolutions.

This was originally written for a drabble challenge of the same name, where resolutions must be made and... well, I'll let you see for yourself. A fluffy little one-shot.

Thanks to Natalie for her mad, QSQ-winning beta skills

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1022 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/11/11 Updated: 03/12/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/13/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was really sweet!! I loved your characterisations of Ron and Hermione - just perfect. The resolutions you picked for each of them were just genius, and the way you tied it together in the end and showed how no-one needs to be perfect was really beautiful.

Your writing flows really well, and I love the little details in this, like how Hermione begins by commending Hannah's cooking, and then Hannah suggests that she make that her resolution.

Just one small thing - I think you forgot to tick the "completed" box, as the page says this fic isn't completed, and I assume from your author's notes that this is a one shot?

Anyway, spot on characterisation and very funny but also endearing. Loved it :).


Author's Response: Hey Katrina, thanks as always for the thoughtful review. I thought I had already responded to this, so I'm sorry I'm just now getting to it. I had a fun time with this one, which was originally a drabble. I like to think their bickering became a little less harmful into their married life, such as this scene I've imagined. I'm glad you caught that error on the submission form--thanks, I've changed it now. :) Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review!


Self Reflections by AshTonks
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: The Mirror of Erised hid in Hogwarts castle for many years. So what happens when four famously unruly boys stumble upon it? Does finding out the truth about themselves make them better? Or bitter?
This is a Marauder one-shot adventure.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4183 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/14/11 Updated: 03/26/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This story definitely gave me food for thought. Firstly, I have to praise the idea - it's very intriguing to think of the Marauders finding the Mirror of Erised. It's also interesting to read from our perspective, as there's a sort of dramatic irony in that we know their futures and they don't.

Sirius: Firstly, I thought it very likely that he was the one who stumbled across it in the middle of the night. Of course it makes sense that he sees his friends in the mirror, closer than ever, although I do wonder - was Sirius aware that there was something amiss amongst his friends? Because often our heart's desire is something we don't actually have... if that makes sense. So I wonder if perhaps Sirius would have seen himself as part of a happy family or something like that, because personally I see Sirius as someone who underneath values family, but he wasn't born into the right one to value. (Sorry, I am rather going on here). I liked the sense of adventure he felt about being an Auror without thinking much of the consequences - that was very Sirius.

Remus: I think you do a wonderful job of his character - the way he puts on a smile for Sirius while he's actually deep in thought. And I do think it's perfect that he sees himself not as a werewolf - and I think that's also an apt time for the quote about not dwelling on dreams, because while what Sirius sees in the mirror is attainable, what Remus sees isn't (it's almost like Harry and Ron in PS).

James: I liked the anticipation he felt during the day before seeing the Mirror, and his thoughts that Quidditch might feature, only to find out that that's not really the important thing in his life. I agree that he would see Lily, but I do have a quibble with you saying that she's more important than his friends. I see James as extremely loyal, and personally I think if he had the choice between Lily and friends, he would choose his friends. But that's just personal opinion.

Peter: Fabulous. You got into his character so well, and I liked how he realised that his friends did value him, although he wasn't as smart, sporty, popular etc. It's an interesting choice, as we suspect that this is the reason that he betrayed them in the end - the desire to be different, to shine above them. So him thinking those thoughts and then discarding them and saying friends matter above all else really shows his Gryffindor side. Which is really great, as I find Peter completely loathsome, but you showed a different side to him here. It's interesting, because apart from what Remus sees, everything the Marauders see is possible, though Peter doesn't believe that. (Kind of ironic - he does receive an Order of Merlin supposedly 'post-humously'.)

Another thing - to me having the end of each section in bold sort of took away from the flow of the story, and sometimes what you'd written in those parts seemed like a bit of over-writing, as in you'd already shown that and to me as a reader those things seemed obvious, so you didn't really need to reiterate that. If that makes sense.

Anyway, you certainly made me think and I really enjoyed this :) (Sorry for rambling).


Author's Response: Thanks so much for all the feedback! I love to know what others think was pos/neg about a story. As far as the bolding goes, I apologize, lol. It was a friend's suggestion and it seemed like an okay idea at the time. I like it less and less as I reread the fic. I'll probably change it if I can... I do think that Sirius has fmily issues, and I was a little lax in trying to portray that the Marauders sort of ARE his family. I fell like he sees them more as brothers than friends, you know? Remus is very close to my heart, by far my favorite Marauder, so I'm glad to have done him justice. :D With James I struggled a bit, trying to get out the emotions correctly. I didn't mean to imply that she would replace them, but more that she was just as important as they were. Does that make sense? Ha ha. As for Peter... I fought with writing Peter for over two weeks. I can't stand Peter and it took a lot not to let that colour my writing of him, ha ha. I read a fic about the Marauders where Harry dreams that James is narrating a memory of the four and says "Don't turn away when you see him. Yes, he will betray me, but right now, he hasn't and he isn't ever going to." It really helped me to get in a mindset where he's not so much a villan yet, but a nervous young boy with an inferiority complex. He's seventeen, and hero-worshipping his friends is getting a little tiring, you know? But thanks so much for the imput! Helpful comments like this makes me a better writer! ( And glad you caught the Order of Merlin thing X) )


Carousel by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Sometimes, she liked mulling over the possibilities of a change, but would she ever act upon it?

Inspired by Round 4 Brawl: Week 2. Thanks to Kara/Karaley Dargen for a real-time AIM beta job and for all the courage she gives me.

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT J.K.Rowling.

Nominated for a QSQ in the Dark/Angsty category.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1964 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/17/11 Updated: 03/17/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi Natalie,

Once again, your work is fantastic. What I like best about this fic is how you make Pansy so much more interesting without making her at all out of character. You wrote her so well, in fact, that by the end I really wanted her to say no to Draco and go get a life for herself... in other words, you made my sort of like her, which is really amazing.

All the Slytherins in this were really three-dimensional, and I loved the interaction between Pansy, Theo and Blaise - you showed the complexity of their relationship well.

I think this is interesting, as at the top you say it's a Pansy/Seamus, but it almost seems more of a Pansy/any boy who actually cares about her. Seamus just happens to be a boy she sees caring about another girl. Well that's how I read it, anyway. (By the way, Seamus and Parvati, interesting...)

Just a few nitpicks:
Madame Puddifoot’s - I think it should be Madam, though I'm not totally sure.
She’d rather dine at the posh restaurants in London where her wealthier friends went to. - it should be either " London which her wealther friends went to" or "... in London where here wealthier friends went."

Anyway, I was really impressed with this fic.


Author's Response: Thank you for that nitpick! :D And thanks for the review! Writing Pansy was tricky as I don't like her at all. In fact, I was quite dispassionate about her as a character even while I was typing this out, but I do love writing power games, and I hope that came across in my portrayal of the Slytherins. I also intend to write more of Pansy/Seamus in the near future. Thank you, once again!



Whirlwind by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: "Do you remember me?" he asked.

She did, but she wasn't sure what to feel about a guy who had suddenly reappeared after a decade. But over the next twenty-four hours, her life was going to change, and all because of him.

Written as a birthday present for the too a*****e-for-words Carole/Equinox Chick, who has been a lovely friend and a lovely role more ways than one. Here's hoping you have a great time reading this. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Heartfelt thanks to Kara who I repeatedly harassed on AIM. :D

DISCLAIMER: I am definitely not J.K.Rowling.

Nominated for a QSQ in the Next Gen Category.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 11195 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
03/20/11 Updated: 03/20/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/20/11 Title: Chapter 4: Epilogue

Another day, and another fic by Natalie appears on the most recent list... I don't know how you manage to write so many fics!! Particularly considering I'm yet to read something bad or even mediocre...

I really enjoyed this fic, I think I particularly loved Lucy's characterisation - it's understandable to feel 'just normal' when you're in a family such as the Weasley's, and I loved that she realised that she hadn't been giving and therefore hadn't been taking... I think people often think they're the only one who feels a certain way and don't realise that that's just being selfish.

Lorcan was interesting - I could definitely see some Luna in there! I also think he was perfect for Lucy, as she was so uptight and he so relaxed.

I loved the ending line and how it connected back to the beginning and her wanting to feel anonymous etc. Good job on tying that in.

I do wonder though, was Lucy a little bit too snappy/mean to Lorcan? I mean, I understand that she hadn't seen him for a long time and that she was thrown, but she just seemed a little... uptight. I guess that was her personality, though, and that Lorcan helped her let go of it.

Anyway, once again your brilliance astounds me!


Author's Response: Hahaha! Between you and me, I've actually slowed down. Last year, I was a fanfiction factory. o.O It took me less than two years to get into that Top Ten Most Prolific Authors list, so...yes. I can be quite scary.

I'm so happy you liked this, too, because I wasn't sure about it. In my mind, their love story was a drawn out affair, the courtship lasting for over a year, but I got writing and this happened instead. Lucy is uptight, yes! And you're absolutely right in saying that she is selfish, too. I dunno if you have read my other Next Gen fic 'One Day in the Life Of', but the first chapter is about her, and that provides more of a background for her character.

Also, yes, I modelled Lorcan after Luna. I'm thinking of a sequel with the twin in it, but that might take me another friend's birthday. LOL.

Thanks for the R&R.



Family Matters by LollyLovesick
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 35]

Summary: Past Featured Story

Barty Crouch Jr. and Regulus Black; two boys with different expectations thrust upon them.

This is the story of how their paths cross, merge and then divide, leading towards two different endings; one tragic, one heroic.

"The Death Eaters, I want to join." I stared at him. His blue eyes were steady, his mouth set. He looked resolute. He had thought this over.

And then I got it. I finally got Sirius.

Nominated for Best Dark/Angsty Story in the 2011 Quicksilver Quills and for Best Marauder Era in 2012. Thank you so much!

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Self Injury, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 35855 Chapters: 15 Completed: No
03/21/11 Updated: 07/09/12

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/09/12 Title: Chapter 11: Barty: Horizon

I love this chapter - I think it's very interesting how Barty views the Ministry as Power for the sake of power., because that's how many people would describe Voldemort. I also like the idea that he feels he has to be a part of something (liket he line Freedom was not for me. I didn’t trust myself enough to be able to handle that.), and this chapter really sets up a logical reason why he would join the Death Eaters... because at first they would seem a group who stood for something, who worked together - therefore pretty much opposite to what he experiences at the Ministry. Also with the end of the chapter it's clear he's longing for camaraderie, and he will find that with the Death Eaters.

I think Barty Crouch Sr is also very interesting here - I think underneath he wants the best for his son, he just has no concept of how to love him, and always focusses on what he wants, not what his son wants. But nonetheless I think he's an interesting character, because he will eventually disown his son, but then later break the rules he loves so much to set him free.

This, like the rest of this story, is really well-written and I love how you really get inside the characters' heads.


Author's Response:

Thank you for another lovely review! They truly make my day.

I do think that in the beginning of the First War the Death Eaters' ideas would seem rather appealing to many. I think that usually when extremist groups gain power and support, it's partly because the actual government isn't doing its job properly, i e people lose confidence in the establishment. I do think that might have been the case in the Wizarding World too, and that many changes were made after Voldemort had disappeared. In my head canon, it was much more "okay" to be opposed to Muggles/Muggleborns before the First War, than in the books, when it really seems like something rather controversial that one wouldn't boast about.

I'm glad you find senior interesting and that what I intended shone through- I do believe that he loved his son very much but that in his mind there's only one way for Barty to be happy which is following the same route as he did. Did that make sense? I hope so. Also, in my head canon, Crouch Sr come from a "working class" family. He's Pureblood but he doesn't have the connections like, say, Lucius Malfoy. He's worked his way up from the bottom and is very afraid on not being taken seriously/losing what he's been working for. But there will be more about that later.

I hope you'll like the rest and again, thank you.


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 10/01/11 Title: Chapter 9: Barty: As the Driven Snow

I've been away for a week and was so glad to see another chapter of this fic up. It really is excellent.

You create a great sense of mood, particularly in the first few parts.

The lack of sound seemed to reinforce what still was to be heard. Mum’s attempts at conversation became even more desperate, her voice more shrill than ever before. Father walking around downstairs boomed through the entire house. The scraping of a quill against parchment, the squeaking of a fork trying to stake a piece of potato, even the soft sound of a newspaper being folded, all those normal everyday sounds were to me like earthquakes. - This paragraph really showed Barty's frame of mind at this time, and it was just so beautifully written. You did a great job of putting the reader into Barty's head, and the pain he feels.

I thought his reaction to Dorothea was interesting, because her comment about wishing she'd had adventures doesn't reassure as you'd expect it to in this kind of situation. I didn’t know what to think. She was repulsive. I wanted to be nothing like her. I think that really shows how he's changing.

I liked how Regulus was different after his encounter with Bella in the last chapter. I wasn't surprised that Barty noticed it immediately either - he is very observant, and Regulus is starting to let down his guard with Barty a little.

Had I been wrong my entire life?

Had I been fed lies about everything for as long as I could remember?
- I loved this ending, particularly as you used questions when Regulus had just been talking about doubt... it just works so effectively.

Just a tiny nitpick - you wrote when he continued he sounded so matter-of-factly (it's quite near the end) and it should be "matter-of-fact". Anyway, just a tiny little thing, I loved this chapter!


Author's Response: Thank you for the review! It makes me truly very very happy that you're glad to see this updated. When you know people are actually reading and caring it makes it even more fun to write. Thank you for the compliments of the mood in the beginning, I rewrote that part several times because I knew that I wanted to create a very specific atmosphere; I knew what I wanted to convey but I wasn't sure I could put it in words successfully. I'm glad that you thought it worked! The Dorothea part was actually quite fun to write; I think Dorothea is the sort of person I would find really fun today but would have been repulsed by when I was younger. Regulus is definitely changing very fast now; this will continue in the next chapter. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! (After re-reading my responses to your other reviews I realise that I must start checking them for mistakes; I get so excited that my grammar is completely off).

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/04/12 Title: Chapter 10: Regulus: Turning of the Tide

I'm so glad I've come back to this story, it's been quite a while since I've read it, but I got back into the story and the characters really well. Your interpretation of them is really unique and interesting.

I loved what you did with Regulus in this chapter - how you started with the line I could feel myself corrupting, and then really showed that darkness inside him with Barty's fever. The title of the chapter also worked really well - not just in terms of the change in Regulus, but also the swamped sort of feeling he had at the beginning.

I am intrigued as to how Bella got inside Hogwarts. Anyway, I think it's interesting that Regulus thought of her first - I really like how you've developed their relationship in this story - and you really show how Bella seems to be constantly in control of herself, which contrasts with what Regulus feels.

Just a small thing - “It’s my friend. He said he didn’t feel well and then he just started raving, I don’t know what’s going but it must be some kind of curse, no?” - it would sound more natural to say "right?" or something like that at the end - I know English isn't your first language (which constantly astonishes me by the way because you grasp it so well), but having the "no?" at the end just doesn't sound quite right in English.

Anyway, I loved this, can't wait to get onto the next chapter.

Also, the italicised bit in the middle fit in perfectly - were they song lyrics or did you just write them? Either way, they really add to what Regulus is feeling.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review! (and thank you for coming back to this story - I'm glad you found it easy to get into again). This chapter is, as the title suggests, when Regulus finally stops fighting the idea of becoming a Death Eater. I spent very much time on trying to figure out how to get that across - I'm so happy you feel like it payed off :) Hah, I was actually thinking about that while I was writing (no vs. right); I'll edit that. The italicised bit was all me, it's supposed to be Regulus' innermost feelings that he just doesn't dare express. Anyway; so glad you liked this! To see anew review made my day. I hope you'll keep reading. It's so nice to know that someone is following your story and cares about what you write. Thanks, again.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/02/11 Title: Chapter 4: Regulus: Conversation, Suffocation

I've finally got around to reading further than the first two chapters of this story... I wasn't thinking of reviewing again so soon, but I loved this chapter. Particularly the beginning part, because scenarios when Sirius and Regulus are really close and there's not too much underlying tension are quite rare. And I thought you wrote it beautifully - because at no point did I forget that they were in different houses, and yet there was such a sense of brotherly love between them.

There was something lovely about this line “Oh, Reg. Looks like you will be a man one day.” It made me feel rather sad about how their relationship eventually turns out.

I'm loving your take on the the Pureblood families (or family, I should say, since they're basically all related). I thought Regulus' Dad was quite interesting in this one, and your Bella is so well-characterised. And so is Lucius.

As for the last chapter - I find your Barty extremely interesting. He certainly went through a rapid change, but I suppose when all your life you've controlled yourself so much, and suddenly you drop that, things change quickly. Interesting that he runs off with a half-blood and ends up a Death Eater... Miranda is also quite interesting, I hope there's more of her back story in this (although I know the focus isn't on her). The idea that Barty disgraced his family so early also works well with that scene in canon when his father says 'I have no son' (I think that's what he says anyway).

I'm looking forward to more.


Author's Response: I love your reviews so I'm glad you decided to do it again! Thank you! This chapter was actually one of the hardest ones to write because I really wanted to show that brothers usually do love each other and I don't think that Regulus and Sirius are an exception. I like that you found their father interesting, because he's not described at all in canon, while we get a very clear picture of their mum. Therefore I do believe he wasn't as "vocal" (can't think of a better word right now) as his wife, or he would have been remembered as such. As for Barty; I see him as a too-controlled boy who is really bad at rebelling if that makes any sense. But he really wants to, and therefore he do it "through" Miranda. Thank you so much for reviewing, it means a lot!

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/02/11 Title: Chapter 5: Barty: The Prodigal Son Returns

I can't say I'm surprised by this... firstly, because Miranda's right - he wouldn't last a day by himself - and secondly the title suggested it. And his relationship with Miranda didn't seem like it would last... I liked how it was always Barty who said how he felt, like when he said "I love you", she just said "I know you do". He seems so innocent in this, which I think is interesting because he's used to being at school, in an environment in which he excels. The thing I am sad about is that I suspect this is the last we'll see of Miranda, and yet I think there's a lot more to her than you've shown sofar.

That quote at the end was just perfect for this chapter.


Author's Response: Thanks again for another review, they make my day. No, more like my week. Miranda was created as a catalyst for Barty really. I needed her to be a person that he would fall in love with but never make it work. Then when it all fails he's forced to go back to his parents and become even more suppressed which will have consequences, of course. I really like Miranda too, she's capable of a lot of love but doesn't really know what to do with it. This was supposed to be the last of her when I first plotted the story but she will make further appearances (not very soon though.) I hope you like the rest... :)

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 08/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Barty: Crouching King To Be

Hi Lovisa,

I've been meaning to read this for a while... both because I enjoyed your Snape one-shot (was it called "Education"?) and because Alex nominated this for the Dark/Angsty QSQ.

It's a great start to a story and very unique - I don't think I've read a teenage Barty Crouch before. I loved how you created the family dynamics between him and his parents as well as all the extended family/aquaintances. It's interesting because Barty Crouch Sr is so anit-dark arts, and yet seems to be pro-pureblood, whilst we usually assosciate the two. I loved the line They say shy people make great actors. I would know. because it just highlights what you'd already shown. There's great contrast in this fic between what Barty thinks and what he does/says. I think first person is ideal for this story, as you can really highlight that contrast.

I liked the idea that Barty isn't in Slytherin as well. It really suits your characterisation of him. He also struck me as an observer, so it made perfect sense that he sat in the library watching people. Interesting that he's fascinated by seeing the difference between how people act publicly and privately. Also, it's a great narrative tool to have an observant narrator, because you showed a lot of Avery, Mulciber, Severus and Regulus' characters in this, which was interesting too.

I'm quite interested in Miranda and I hope she has future appearances. This line - It was not suitable. just perfectly shows how Barty's been brought up.

Anyway, I'll leave this review here. This is a great start, and I have to say it's incredibly impressive that English isn't your first language as well... I certainly wouldn't be able to tell from your writing.


Author's Response: Hello :) A huge thank you for this review; that you actually took the time to write this long review makes me so happy, so thank you, really. Yes, the Snape one-shot is called Education, glad you remember it! When I read GOF the first time all those years ago I was really touched by the Crouch family. It was all so tragic and since then I've had this backstory in my head about them... Then I realised that Barty and Regulus must have known each other as they're both roughly the same age and turned out to be DEs. Regulus from the very pro-Voldemort family who eventually changed his mind and Barty, whose father seemed to be sort of the leader for the Ministry's resistance who turned out to be a devoted follower of Voldemort's... I'm glad you liked my characterization of Barty. I thought perhaps he's too likable or at least too weak but I really think he would have been an observer. How else could he impersonate Moody so well that he even fooled Dumbledore? Anyway, don't know what to write other than THANK YOU, because it's so amazing to get this kind of a review. I hope you'll keep reading.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 08/17/11 Title: Chapter 2: Regulus: Black-blooded

This was an excellent second chapter. I really like your characterisation of Regulus. I think it's a great idea that Regulus became what he became because of Sirius, not in spite of Sirius. I get that impression that your Regulus wasn't necessarily into the Death Eater stuff, and he didn't just go along with it because his family wanted him to, but rather because Sirius had done the opposite... if that makes any sense.

The star had resigned and there was a vacancy at the theatre. I chose to step on stage. I adored this line, because it follows Regulus observing Barty and it's such a wonderful connection between them. I like the idea of this story alternating between their perspectives, too, because you really contrast how they see each other and how they see themselves.

I loved Bella in this - wonderful characterisation of her. She's great at manipulating existing feelings into serving her purpose... as is her master.

I'm intrigued by Regulus' 'anger'. I put it in inverted commas because the word doesn't seem to quite sum up the extent of it. Your writing was particularly evocative as you described that as well.

In fact, your writing throughout this chapter was excellent. The second last paragraph was just so well-crafted. You contrasted short, truncated sentences really well with longer ones.

You really created tension between Regulus and Sirius when they chatted, and, even though he's quite a minor character, I think you really grasped Sirius in this - in that he's always trying to make things light but underneath he feels a lot. I loved the idea that he grinned at Regulus - when underneath he's probably upset about what's come between them and worried how Regulus will turn out.


Author's Response: Another wonderful review; Thank you so much. I'm really happy that you got the idea that Regulus wanted to rebel against Sirius (sort of) because I really believe having your big brother leave you at fifteen is really traumatic. Or at least I would feel really hurt. And Regulus did join the DEs acoording to canon about a year after Sirius ran away so to me it really seemed like a reaction. And Regulus is so devoted to he's family (in canon he for example seemed to care even for his house-elf) so I think he perceived Sirus' leaving as a huge betrayal. And of course he misses his brother! I'm a little sister myself and whatever we might say in our early teens we do adore and admire our older brothers and sisters. I don't think Sirus and Regulus were any different even though Sirius had grown to despise him later. I think he (Sirius) was very disappointed and his resentment was an expression of that. Thanks again for the review, I really really hope you'll keep reading and that you'll like the rest of it :)

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/03/11 Title: Chapter 8: Regulus: Fire and Flame

Initially when I was reading this fic, I thought your Barty was a more interesting character than your Regulus... but I think I'm beginning to change my mind. Often in fanfiction, Regulus is written as a bit of a wimp - the opposite of Sirius - who takes ages to realise what Voldemort is really upto, and I think your Regulus is so much more believable. He's extremely intelligent and knows how to manipulate people - except Bella, who's probably the queen of manipulators - and good at hiding his feelings, and yet there's a side of him which is clearly fed up with the superficiality of Pureblood society and which longs to be a rebel like Sirius.

The idea of Regulus tasting Bellatrix's blood in his mouth and remembering it was a very powerful image which really stuck in my head, as was the way you used fire in this chapter.

I felt like he replaced something I had lost, but I couldn’t really put the finger on what. I loved this line, because it connected back to the end of the last chapter, when Reg describes to Barty what having a brother is like, and Barty sees Reg as a sort of brother.

I'm not sure if you've realised... this comes up as chapter 9, but there's no chapter 8, which confused me initially... I'm not sure why that's happened. Also, I was wondering, how long is this fic going to be?

I think it's very interesting the way you alternate between the two boys' perspectives and show us how they both see the world and each other. This is a great fic and I can't wait til you update!


Author's Response: That's interesting, because my original idea was to tell Barty's story "with help" from Regulus but the more I wrote the more I started to like Regulus. Sometimes I think I've made Barty too much of a wimp but he will toughen up... Thank you for the compliments about Regulus! I do think he understands SOME things better than Sirius like Barty said but he's not as smart as he thinks. I'm really glad you "got" the brotherhood relationship between them because I was really not sure whether that was really vague or too obvious. The story will be about 25 chapters (but I', constantly expanding so I'm not sure... This was originally meant to be a one-shot..) Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'll try to update as soon as possible.



Susan Bones had far too much time over the summer to think about her Aunt Amelia's murder, but one of these nights of contemplation gave her inspiration to pay homage to her slain family members from both the First and Second Wizarding Wars..


This fic is a giant Happy Birthday to Minna/minnabird. I know you like Susan Bones, so here's hoping I can bring you a smile on your special day. :D

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2276 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/23/11 Updated: 03/23/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi Jess,

I had intended on reviewing this when I first read it a while ago... but didn't get around to it. Anyway, I loved how it was a beautiful and simple demonstration of a way of dealing with loss. You always hear that it sometimes helps people to write something down or something like that when they've been through something traumatic, so I suppose painting her family is sort of like that for Susan.

I really loved the detail in your writing, and how you described each member of her family. I thought it was interesting that she painted them as though they had aged and were still alive... it sort of shows how people continue to live on in our hearts and our memories.

You characterised Susan really well, and I loved the last paragraph, because it reminds the reader that she is coping with something really difficult, but that family can give us strength.


Author's Response:

While I was writing this, for a while, I was worried that it would start to sound, well, a bit trite. Grief and coping mechanisms are complex and very personal, but I wanted there to be a moment of hope in the darkness for Susan. We know she lost a lot to the Dark Lord, but we also know she was a fighter, so I wanted to show both without mangling either. I'm glad you can appreciate that, because it wasn't easy. :/

When I described the members of her family, I wanted to make them about as real to the reader as they were for Susan. As you know, she'd hardly met them, and it was so long ago that she could barely remember them outside of stories from her mum, so painting them was almost a process of getting to know them all over. Hence, she used her instincts to conjecture about them.

Again, thank you for such a lovely review. Every time I get review emails, I hope they're from you. :)



Summary: It's the end of an era, a hero is dead.
But what to write on a grave?

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1131 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/23/11 Updated: 03/26/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/26/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Epitaph - Harry James Potter

I really liked this fic - you did such a good job of getting inside Ron's head. I think what made this fic great was how you explored what Harry meant to Ron specifically - not who he meant to the wizarding world, or to Ginny or Hermione or his children, but to Ron, his first friend.

I’ve never really thought he was a hero, not after I met him. - I loved this line, because I think it's so true. It would be so easy to think Harry - saviour of the wizarding world, but Ron thinks Harry - my best friend. I liked how Ron went through the process of finding something - moving from Harry's achievements, to what Harry enjoyed, to what Harry really meant. (I almost cried at "An Honorary Weasley".)

You really showed Ron's devastation about losing Harry through simple things, like the lines Who will I beat at Wizard’s chess? Who’ll play Quidditch with me and all of the kids on weekends?.

Your story showed grief and loss, and yet the celebration of someone's life so effectively.

Just one thing - you may (or may not) have made a canon error - you refer to James and Lily and "young Albus" - Albus is actually two years older than Lily.

Anyway, I apologise for rambling so much here.


Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this, the plot bunny appeared whilst I was in bed one night, and forced me up at gunpoint to write it. Long story short, I spent the early hours of the morn googling epitaphs and writing this. Thanks for pointing out the canon error regarding Lily and Albus, it's now been changed around. I suppose that James and Lily, and Albus seems to work better in my mind due to reading copious amounts of Marauder-Era fics. Thanks for reviewing this, it means a lot to feel appreciated :)


Playing the Game by Writ Encore
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Gideon and Fabian Prewett struggle to balance their lives and the demands of the Order of the Phoenix, and life throws everything off kilter in this equation.

This is Kuri of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3: Lonely Lists: Marauder Era

Betas: Annie (midnightstorm), Alex (welshdevondragon) and Chant (thegirllikeme)

For Annie and Google.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 9737 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
03/27/11 Updated: 04/10/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/10/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Fools and Negotiations


I think this is a very original and intriguing start to a story, and I'm definitely curious as to what happens next.

Your characterisation so far is very interesting, though I'm not so sure I like your characterisation of Molly... to me, hse only ended up becoming a housewife and mother so young because of the war... although I guess it could appear differently to her brother, who obviously has a completely different view of the world. The Prewett family dynamics were certainly interesting, particularly considering family is so important to Molly in canon.

There are a few times when the plot wasn't so clear to me... I wasn't sure, did Emmeline lose the baby when she fell? Or is she still pregnant? Maybe that's just me not quite following though... It also seems that things happen very quickly here, and right at the beginning we're introduced to a whole lot of characters and at times I found it a little confusing.

There's a few times when you've made small typos, like missing full stops (first sentence) or capital letters, too, but that's not a big deal.

Emmeline is very interesting, and I like the way you've set up her and Gideon's relationship, as well as the way she interacts with her father and Auguste.

Anyway, I hope I don't sound too negative here... I do really enjoy this story, and I"m looking forward to the next chapter.



Commencement by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: There is a boy in this orphanage, and something is not quite right about him.

Written as a birthday present for lily_evans34/Rachel, who is lovely, talented and wonderfully funny. :) I hope you have a great day.

Nominated for a QSQ in the Dark/Angsty category.

Thanks to Kara and Carole for their help! This story would still be full of holes if it weren't for you two.

DISCLAIMER: J.K.Rowling is not me. :p

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1436 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/29/11 Updated: 03/29/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/29/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi Natalie,

Well I was expecting something morbid/mildly disturbing (after all, what about Tom Riddle isn't disturbing?) but this was a whole new level of disturbing... in a good way (haha, is that even possible?) Your characterisation of Tom is just perfect. The idea that he tried to be friends with some of the children is fascinating, and you showed those instances really well. It shows that at some point, there was at least a little bit of humanity in Tom Riddle.

They couldn’t, for instance, raise their fingers, touch the cold, merciless mirror in their room, and make it melt. But he could – and he was doing the exact thing. The fingers of his left hand were pressed upon the screen, creating a small ripple that disturbed the smooth glass so that his own reflection blurred. It lasted only for a few seconds, but that wasn’t important. What mattered was the fact that he could do something, which no one else would ever imagine of trying.

He smiled – and somewhere in the disturbed outline of flesh and clothes, he could detect the same smile forming.
(Sorry for quoting all that back at you...) I think this part is fabulous. The idea of using a mirror works really well, and I loved the bit about him looking in the "disturbed" mirror and seeing his smile - it was a beautiful metaphor for the madness in his own mind.

Your writing is perfect here - very chilling. Tom's voice (as in the tone you used when writing) was perfectly detached and unemotional when he killed the rabbit.

One little nitpick - which no one else would ever imagine of trying. - the "of" is unnecessary here.

Anyway, as usual, beautiful writing, though this one was definitely on the chilling/creepy/disturbing side of things.


Author's Response: First of all, thank you for pointing out that error. I have edited the story accordingly. Secondly, thank you for reading and reviewing! It's nice to know that you found the tone of the writing suitable for Tom Riddle. The mirror also seemed a good choice because he is already changing, yet his true nature is coming out. The blurring reflection was a vivid image in my mind, and I actually pictured the whole thing happening as I wrote it.



Final Confrontation by artsy_werewolf
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Why did Peter Pettigrew do it? Why did he reveal the Potters' location to Voldemort? Why did things turn out that way?
One-shot. Rating is for strong language.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Strong Profanity

Word count: 1597 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/30/11 Updated: 04/07/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/07/11 Title: Chapter 1: Final Confrontation

Your story has definitely made me think. I think Peter is a very interesting character, and obviously being apart of the Marauders and yet always feeling not good enough would be part of his betrayal. I've always seen it as a mixture between a desire to outshine his friends and be different and fear of Voldemort, so I think your take on it is very interesting. Peter is certainly more of a man in your fic than I've ever seen him as - I never would have imagined him having the guts to tell James that he'd effectively murdered him. But I think it's a very interesting interpretation. Peter was in Gryffindor, after all. And Voldemort is terrifying.

I really liked James' thoughts at the end about Peter's betrayal, it really ended off the fic nicely and gave me some empathy for Peter, which is a hard thing to do.

I think your portrayal of Peter is interesting, too, because in canon (as in particularly in PoA but also later) he just seems so pathetic, but I suppose that comes from living in fear as a rat for 12 years and from the guilt eating away at him.

I think it's very in character for James not to want to tell Lily, and yet it seems tragic, as perhaps that could have saved their lives. I was wondering - how did James think Lily would be able to escape whilst he was distracting Voldemort? Wouldn't she have to leave through the front door to be able to Apparate? Just a small thing... anyway, I think James was well-written throughout, actually. His conversation with Peter was just perfect.

I do apologise for this review which is rather all over the place... I usually have some kind of structure in reviews... but the main point is that your story is well-written, well-characterised and poignant and truly amazing for a first fic. Can't wait for more :). (I hope you do more Peter fics, perhaps one about him after killing all those Muggles and Sirius going to Azkaban - I'm sure you would write it very intriguingly.) Anyway, loved this fic!!


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the review! I've always been interested in looking at the antagonist's point of view, and especially with Peter, I really wanted to look at how he could possibly justify his actions. I mean, I think that James, more than any of the other Marauders, was the almost-super-hero that Peter looked up to. I'd like to think that there's always been a part of Peter that remains loyal to his friends, because no matter what happened with Voldemort or anything else, he'll always remember the friendship that the four of them had. That's the main point that I was trying to get across through this fic. To answer your question about Lily leaving, I think that's one area where a bit of the Gryffindor recklessness/rushing-into-things comes into play. James is mostly thinking about how he can protect Lily at /that/ moment, instead of necessarily wondering how she can escape. Maybe he thought that if distracted Voldemort for long enough, she could get a safe distance away and Apparate with Harry? I honestly don't think that he was looking too far ahead when he made the decision to not tell her. I haven't given too much thought to other Peter stories, although you've definitely given me a good idea for another one :). Thank you again for the review!! ~Artsy_Werewolf


Skydive by wauwabee
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 58]

Summary: "I don't wanna parachute into love,
No, I wanna skydive
And fall until we fly, live until we die together,
If heaven is my home, you could only make it better."

-Skydive, Jason Reeves

Seventh Year at Hogwarts is about much more than memorizing all the lessons for the upcoming N.E.W.Ts. It's about falling in love with someone you least expected to, about realizing who you are and what you want to do. It's about friendship, laughter, and the first steps towards a great betrayal. You strengthen the bonds already made and reconnect with someone you've had a fallout with.
Everyday Voldemort gets stronger, and the outside world becomes more real and more frightening. Lily, Marlene and the Marauders learn what it means to fall in love, what true friendship is, how to let go, and what is most important in life. Because not growing up is not an option. And some things are worth fighting for.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 34054 Chapters: 12 Completed: No
03/31/11 Updated: 09/22/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/21/11 Title: Chapter 3: Guys Like Potter

Firstly, I loved the AVPS song! As I was reading the chapter it reminded me of that song so I smiled when I saw you actually based it on that. (I've also written a story based on one of those songs - "Not Alone" from AVPM. They're good writing material. Anyway... back to the review.)

I like the way you've set up the characters here, particularly the friendship between Lily, Marlene and Marauders. I liked Lily's friendship with Sirius, because a lot of people seem to write them hating each other because Sirius has some sort of complex about James or something... and I think the way you've written it is more likely.

I quite liked your Severus. He seemed a tad dramatic at times, but then that's not entirely unbelievable, because the man we see in canon is obviously a long way from the teenager he was. You've set up this interesting contradiction in his character - he doesn't want Lily to be ruined, and yet essentially he is ruining his own life (in moral terms anyway).

I don't want you to take this the wrong way, because this is certainly an enjoyable story, but there are a few James/Lily cliches in it. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, anyway. I noticed it particularly with Spencer - he seems like the perfect boyfriend, but I suspect he has a secret or something to that effect. Anyway, as I said, cliches don't necessarily worsen a story - and with James/Lily it must be hard to write something original because there's so much of it.

I like how you include Peter and how you don't make him out to be the stupid tagalong, because that really annoys me. Obviously the Marauders trusted him implicitly.

I also think you integrate the war quite well without it becoming their lives as it presumably will when they leave school. You've written it so it's never far from the reader's mind, but it doesn't take over the story. Which really suits this.

Anyway, I have very much enjoyed reading this, I hope you don't think my review is negative, because that's not my intention.


Author's Response: Yay! Another AVPM/S Fan! Haha. "Guys Like Potter" saved the chapter because I was having a hard time trying to figure out how to write in Snape here but the song played on my itunes and it was like a light bulb was switched on. Is you story called "Not Alone"? I love that song! And I'm glad you like the friendships, and I agree, I hate it when people make Sirius and Lily hate each other. In Deathly Hallows it seems Lily it was Lily who would write all the letters fer her and James and it was not just James who trusted Sirius enough to want him as Secret-Keeper. If Lily didn't like Sirius, I doubt she and James would have wanted him in the first place. I'm SO glad you caught my contradiction! I love you for that. That chapter was the turning point for Severus. Without Lily he could care less about his own life, Lily was the only person at Hogwarts who was a true friend to him, so he joins the Death Eaters to try to feel like he belongs somewhere, and if he's on the inside Severus feels like maybe he can protect Lily, which is something he did in fact take to his advantage and try to do. And, I don't mind any sort of criticism! Alas, some cliches are hard to avoid, but the thing with Spencer was very much intentional. Spencer is one of the few people in this that I wrote with a specific person in mind (he is based of an ex-boyfriend of my friend's.) One other character that I created with a very specific person in mind is Pippa, who will pop up later. I love that you love Peter, thank you! I always pictured Peter as sort of a Neville type, probably because that is how Harry pictured him in PoA, only Peter is not even half the man Neville turns out being. I think this is my favorite review! Thank you so much for reading!

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/21/11 Title: Chapter 6: Cold Shoulder

Hello... yes it's me again.

So this shows that this is a great story because I'm back reviewing again. And I wish there was more because I'm rather into by now.

I have to say I'm not entirely surprised that Spencer was cheating on her... particularly after you left that cliffhanger and all Lily wanted was to be alone. Well, at least it gave Lily a good reason to break up with him. Also I forgot to mention in my last review - when Lily, James, Sirius, Severus, Spencer get into that fight in Transfiguration - I'm assuming Spencer's a Ravenclaw, and as far as I know there's only two houses in a class at a time. Anyway, that's just a small thing.

Moving on. “If Lily wanted to talk to anyone, she would have simply said so. She didn’t, so you should probably just leave her alone." I really do love your Peter, because he's observant and yet there's something slightly... cold about it. The others chasing after her showed how much they care. So well done there.

Your dialogue has sofar been written excellently. You have shown just the perfect amount of awkwardness and tension between Lily and James. But throughout the story, you've used it really well to communicate the action and move the plot forwards, and I know from personal experience that dialogue is harder than it looks.

I'm quite interesting in what's going on between Mary and Marlene - at the beginning of this story, I'd assumed that Mary, Natalie and Aleaha were 'bimbos' and that's why Lily and Marlene kept away from them, so it's interesting to see that they (well at least Mary) aren't actually like that... I'm hoping Mary and Marlene will finally get over themselves now.

I also loved the scene between Marlene and Fabian, and I'm glad you're not following the Lily's-best-friend-hooks-up-with-Sirius trend. I had thought you might be heading that way, having shown her similarities to him.

Anyway, lovely story so far Kelsey, keep writing more!!


Author's Response: Yeah, Spencer is in Ravenclaw. But, I thought that after everyone had taken their O.W.Ls the classes for sixth and seventh-years were filled with all the student's continuing on with the class. I could be very wrong, so I'm going to need to take a look at HBP, oh hey! I'm reading that one right now! I'm quite fond of my Peter, I'm not even going to lie. He is the one I really have to work on when I'm writing because of how my I hate him. I feel like Peter HAD to be very observant because he was Voldemort's spy when ti came to the Potter's for over a year, and he is also very good when he needs to keep his head down. Deception and observation are Peter's best skills. Dialogue is a nightmare sometimes. I try to use it more than some people because I know it's a skill that I really need to work on. So, I'm very thankful that all of that is paying off. Thank you : ) I'm not even going to hide anything when it comes to Mary and Marlene, they stopped talking to each other after an argument over something REALLY stupid. They dislike each other so much because they let themselves get so worked up over something really small. Haha, when this story was still in it's planning stages I was planning on hooking up Marlene with Sirius, but having everything fall apart, but when I was reading DH i had to change that. In Lily's letter to Sirius she mentions the death of the McKinnions, if Sirius and Marlene had been together he would have already known about the death of the family. So I stuck Marlene and Fabian together mainly because they both die and the more I write this, the better Fabian is for Marlene. Sirius loves Marlene, but he loves her like he loves Lily. I seriously loved your two reviews! They make me very happy! The next chapter is, finally, going through it's final edit. AP Tests are a major pain. So is HIgh School. Haha!


Lost in August by Padfoot Patronus
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Something happens on a full moon night that James Potter didn't see coming.

This is for you, Kuri, for your remarkable patience as a beta and the endless hours on gmail.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 2373 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
04/03/11 Updated: 04/07/11

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/07/11 Title: Chapter 1: Lost in August

This was a really interesting story. I really loved how you explored the relationships between the Marauders without explicitly saying that they were falling apart.

I thought your characterisations were great. Firstly, James: I thought it was typical of him to put Galleons in Remus' account. I think this fic is an interesting exploration of him coming to distrust Remus, despite not wanting to, and that works really well, as he is someone who really values loyalty and friendship. Sirius was depicted well, too. To me it seemed like he was trying to hold everyone together in this fic, which is in character as his friends are his family. The dialogue between James and Sirius near the beginning worked well; it showed that they were comfortable together, yet also gave the indication that they bicker more and have less fun than before. (I hope that makes sense.)

I was a tiny bit confused - when James is looking at Lily's initials and talks to Peter, is that in his imagination? As in, he's remembering Remus and Lily at the tree and then he imagines a conversation with Peter? That's what I understood, anyway, and it seems that James is suffering from fever and hallucinations... is it to do with blood loss?

Your writing was excellent. I loved the imagery and you use dialogue very effectively, and particularly when Sirius and James are talking near the beginning, the dialogue also tells the action, as in what the characters are doing, which is really hard to do and works really well.

So I really loved this story, your writing is just so wonderful and you've really mastered the art of showing, not telling. Fantastic :)


Author's Response:
All the reviews you leave for the stories on MNFF are so very encouraging and lovely. So thank you for this one. What makes this special is that I was expecting at least two highly confused reviewers before someone who really understood the story for what I'd tried to do with it. You saved me, my friend.

You got that right about James and Remus. I think this was a very tough time for James. This is August of 1981 and incidentally after the event of this full moon I see this as becoming the last time James accompanies Remus for the transformation. James values loyalty and that's why for him to come to that conclusion, to withdraw from his friends especially Remus was so hard and breaking. Your comment about Sirius and James bickering more often makes perfect sense. In my imagination I see that when they'd have first found out about Remus, it would be James who took it without fear and Sirius would somehow take a quiet debate with himself to overcome the prejudice that were harboured in his family. But as it happens later in the years, James cracks first. His fear that Remus might be betraying him translates to Moony also, so that James vaguely, reluctantly thinks that Remus is dangerous when he'd transformed.

What you mention about your confusion is actually exactly the way I meant it to be. I couldn't have put my whole idea in words better than you did. In addition to the fever and hallucinations, he's also claustrophobic which is why he's struggling with breathing throughout.

I wrote the setting after having staring for long minutes at photographs of forests in order to transport myself and James there so we could get a feel of it. That seems to have paid off. Dialogue is usually never my forte, but I was experimenting here and for that reason, I eliminated most dialogue tags in order to focus on the content of the speech and let it do most of the talking.

I'm very glad you liked this, Katrina

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