Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).
I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.
I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.
Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
Summary: My name is Rose Evans. My parents were Lily and James Potter, and Harry Potter is my twin brother, though he didn't know. I was raised by Severus Snape. This is my story.
RECENTLY NOMINATED FOR 2011 QSQ BEST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!! Thank you, grangergirl35!!
This is an intriguing and interesting beginning to a story. I was a little sceptical when I read the summary, because while I don't mind a bit of AU here and there, I really prefer canon. But you've really made this concept work - it's obvious that you've thought it out.
Rose jumped off the page as a character - particularly when Sev told her who her parents were, I really got a sense of Lily (or at least, how I imagine Lily) when she asked if he'd killed anyone and when she said "You're not bad!". I liked how she talked about Snape as "Sev" - it immediately highlighted that while he acted as a father figure, he wasn't her father and it gives them a sort of friendship/cameraderie which works quite well.
I have to say, I found your Snape a bit OOC. Particularly when he told her who her parents were. I mean, from the way Snape reacts to Sirius in OotP, I really don't think he could be so blase about James. And the way he treats Harry shows it too - I mean, I know he sacrificed a lot for Harry, but he still can't seem to divorce him from his father. I suppose Rose being a girl and looking more like Lily would help, though. And I did like the bit when he said "that doesn't mean I haven't done bad things". That felt in character, particularly when he talked about Voldemort going after "you and your mother" and completely ignored Harry and James.
A few other small things - Peter was the Potters' secret keeper, so surely he would have known about their daughter? Also, if Rose has her mother's hair and eyes, surely Harry would have noticed it? Or Hermione, at least? Particularly the eyes - after all, there's a lot of redheads around, but almond-shaped bright green eyes are more unique. Anyway. That's just a small thing.
I also had to disagree with Rose's comment about Snape's behaviour towards Gryffindors - yes I know canon is presented from Harry's perspective, hence he's more likely to think Snape unfair, but I don't think McGonagall treats Slytherins the same way that Snape treats Gryffindors. In PoS, she takes 150 points from Gryffindor, and I can't think of a time when Snape takes more than 10 from Slytherin. I do understand your point - that people are quicker to punish the opposing team - but it just didn't feel right here. Anyway, sorry I just went on a lot about a small thing.
I think what you're trying to do is highlight Snape's redeeming features - and I think there are plenty of them - but when it goes against "truth" (or canon truth anyway) it feels like Rose is looking for ways to defend him or something.
Anyway, I hope you don't feel like this is a negative review, because I think this is an interesting and well-thought out plot and I'll certainly be reading on.
Author's Response: A) I don't think this is negative at all. In fact, it's awesome! This is the most anybody has said to me about my story, and I LOVE this kind of feedback, which I mostly salvage from my dad (who is also a writer, though not really in the fanfiction variety...) So just the length is enough to get me excited. Nobody else has really critiqued me that much. After fifty "THIS IS AWESOME"s, reviews like yours are refreshing. :) B) You were spot on with the allusions to Lily, and the Rose calls Snape "Sev". That was exactly my intention. I tried writing it with the word "Dad," and it immediately felt wrong. Nobody in a million years would ever call Snape Dad, or Daddy. It just isn't done. C) Snape is definitely out of character here. Part of the reason for that is, even though I posted the story a long time after the seventh book came out, I started writing this in middle school after I finished the seventh book. Snape's death and his memories gave me such a paradigm shift that I immediately started treating more like a tragic hero than a double agent, something my friends and I still argue about. The idea was that he skimmed over bashing Harry and James because he was sort of trying to protect Rose, although that doesn't make much sense now. I just figured he would want to get that part over with REALLY fast... D) I didn't even think about Peter until jut now- that's been happening a lot. I'll reread parts of my story and I'll think, "Oh, I could have done this!" Well spotted, you've been paying attention. As far as Harry goes, like I've said before, I don't set much store by Harry's intelligence. And Rose doesn't generally hang with Harry and Co, although I did think about Hermione figuring everything out at one point. In the end I decided not to. Mostly I'm relying on her being so caught up in Harry's adventures that she chalks up Rose's appearance to mere coincidence. E) As far as Rose's descriptions of Snape, you're absolutely right. I wanted her to ignore his faults, or at least to justify them, because I thought that would make her reaction to Dumbledore's murder so much bigger. I did that on purpose, even though I had qualms about it. I kept picturing her rolling her eyes and looking the other way whenever Snape took points from Gryffindor. I'm glad you think this is well thought out, and please feel free to review again (if you haven't already- I'm only just now catching up...)
Summary: Lily Evans finds herself disappointed when James Potter begins dating a new student during seventh year. A casual conversation about how to deal with it leads to unexpected consequences for her…and Sirius Black.
Wow!! That was really impressive. Dialogue-only fics must be really hard to write... and yet this was just fantastic. Sirius' characterisation was spot on, and I loved your interpretation of Lily. You managed to put so much of their characters and the setting into the dialogue... it was really amazing.
My favourite part was probably just after Sirius and Lily had 'broken up' and Lily tells Sirius that's he's a good person. It really showed development in both their characters and was written so well.
Just one small thing - a couple of times you've written "Juliannaa" instead of "Julianna".
Anyway, I'm totally in love with this fic!! It was very unique and your writing was brilliant.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! In some ways, dialogue only can be tricky, but I heard this so clearly in my head it was not that hard. I'm thrilled to hear the characterization came through just through their dialogue, because I could also see them saying this, but that descriptive narrative element is obviously missing and unable to contribute to the overall effect. Thanks for pointing out my typo, I think I've fixed them all. :) And thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate the amazing review for something I was a bit worried about! ~Gina :)
For someone who 'missed the screaming', Argus Filch was in his element the day the Carrows set foot into Hogwarts. Who knew that his kindred spirit had been walking the halls of the school for years already?
And it wasn't even Mrs Norris.
Thanks for such a quick response to my last review, I'm glad you like receiving them.
This is another fic of yours I read a while ago and didn't get to review... I think I wasn't quite sure what to think after my first reading of it. It is certainly disturbing and macabre... to the level that I usually expect Tom Riddle stories or something like that to be.
You have certainly done something fantastic with your characterisations here... and even though both Irma and Argus appear cruel and horrid, somehow you created a strange sort of empathy for them. I suppose I've felt that for Filch since we found out he was a Squib, and Madam Pince seems to be a rather lonely woman. Somehow I felt bad for them. Which is something really impressive to do as an author... because their behaviour in this fic is absolutely despicable. I suppose you're working on the theme that no-one is truly evil or truly good... that we all have both parts in us and sometimes circumstances can affect how we are.
The juxtaposition of them drinking tea - something that seems old-fashioned and friendly - with them listening to torture is just brilliant, particularly as it gives insight into their tortured minds.
Anyway, great fic, though certainly disturbing...
Hmm, this story was a dark, twisted baby, born of a rather hideous prompt for a fic exchange. I can't think of a pairing that I would want to write less than this one that doesn't involve Snape, so yeah... it is disturbing in that manner, as well.
The thing I've always thought about Filch and Pince is that they are rather pathetic people Filch gets walked over for a living by little bastards like Fred and George (which begs the question of whether the Marauders drove Apollyon Pringle to early retirement). Dumbledore seems to grant him some respect, but the bitterness about being surrounded by magic yet never being able to cast so much as a single spell would definitely eat at him. Plus, he probably wasn't all that nice to begin with. :/
And with Irma, I pictured her as a rather plain woman, likely not all that different from Snape's mother, Eileen. She is bookish and not very pretty and probably a bit standoffish. We havea pretty good idea, having been in school ourselves, what that does to one's social life. And when she chose a career that, whilst dealing with her true love in life, was essentially doing the same thing over and over -- putting back books that students mistreat and never return to their shelves -- it isn't unlikely that it would make her a bit... cross. And compile years of that and the stress of constant staff changes (and subsequent changes in curriculum, hence needing new stock for one thing or another) in the current school environs, I can see how she could take a llittle bit of pleasure out of one of the little rats that had made her job harder than it needed to be getting what was coming (in her view, not mine!).
And there you have now two not so nice people sip tea over the sound of a teenager being tortured. It was macabre, and not at all pleasant to write, but I was actualy surprised how un-sickened I was by the final product.
Thanks for dropping in again. I fear I may run out of stories for you to review soon, though. Venturing deep into my older fics is a dangerous business. I don't even do that, lol.
Well, anyway, ta for now!
Summary: A short tale of the Marauder's friendship and its subsequent demise. Songfic based on "Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Originally written for the Musical Drabble challenge in the SBBC.
Winner of Best Marauder Era Story (one shot) in the Quicksilver Quills 2011!
I can't believe you managed to sum up the tragedy of the Marauders in less than 1000 words!! This was such an amazing piece of writing and characterisation... I can only say wow. At the very beginning, I found the writing style a little difficult, but then I got into it and it was so perfect for this fic.
Your characterisation of Peter was particularly stand-out, I think, especially as people tend to leave him out a bit in their fics.
Anyway... this was really amazing and I don't really have anything else to say... so I'll stop rambling...
Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing! I've been getting a lot of complements on Peter in particular, which is strange because I don't even like him myself...*random thoughts* Anyway, thank you so much again for taking the time to review.
Summary: Never tickle a sleeping dragon. This should be fairly obvious, but Godric Gryffindor, the bravest man in England, has never cared about the obvious.
So original! I'd never thought about translating the motto... although that might just be me. Anyway, I thought you characterised the founders really well (although, as some others have said, where was Helga?), especially Gryffindor, you showed him really well. I also thought you coped very well with the old-fashioned language - it didn't disrupt the flow at all and really added to the setting and characters. A very amusing and enjoyable read!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I didn't actually translate the motto-- the Mugglenet main site did. I tried to make the characterization real-- that's something I pride myself on. And as for the language, my mom's an English teacher, so I've studied a lot of Shakespeare. Again, thank you for reviewing!
Summary: Tom did love once; it just wasn't meant to last.This poem placed third in the February Apples and Oranges Challenge at Poetry Anyone. Features Tom Riddle/A Woman You All Know. DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K.Rowling. She wouldn't write this silliness.
This was really beautifully written! You captured Tom so well and your word choice and imagery was just perfect.
When my monster rises to glory,
My hatred fires my heart,
Thirst suffuses my soul. I think this was my favourite part - the way you showed a part of the Tom --> Voldemort transformation.
Initially I wasn't really sure who the woman was - I had to check the reviews to see if I was right! Anyway, Minerva was a really good choice and I can see how their characters would work together. It's very sad that he takes her memories at the end, but also so typical of Tom - I'm sure he wouldn't want anyone to know that he'd succumbed to the "weakness" of love.
As another reviewer said, sometimes I found the repetition a little too much... but otherwise this was a beautiful poem!!
Author's Response: Hello Katrina!
The locals in a sleepy corner of the Cheviot Hills are surprised to discover that they have new neighbours.
Who are the strangers at Drakeshaugh?
Nominated for: Best Post-Hogwarts (Chaptered) story - Quicksilver Quills 2011 and
Nominated for: Best Post-Hogwarts (Chaptered) story - Quicksilver Quills 2012
I'm really enjoying this story (as usual). Jacqui works well as a neighbour, as she is nosey but also kind and caring. It's interesting to present Harry and Ginny (and their family) from an "unknowing" perspective (meaning that the narrator doesn't know that they're wizards). It's a difficult topic to write, because there are just so many small things that we as readers are used to from canon, which to Jacqui seem strange, and I think you're handling it very well.
I'm very curious to see what happens next... I suspect Mary won't know what's hit her.
My favourite line in this chapter was Ginny's quick correction of "Flooed" to "Flew". It made me smile.
Sorry this isn't as long/detailed as my reviews usually are... I have to go now, but I'm sure I'll be back reviewing this rather soon.
Thanks for the review.
It’s confession time. When I planned this story, the “main” plot was going to be the werewolf murders, and Jacqui was going to be comic relief. I wrote the first two chapters from Jacqui’s (first person) perspective simply to give an outsiders view of the Potters. Then the kids (particularly James and Henry—who, together, are trouble) got more involved, and I was enjoying myself, so I then wrote the third and…
Now I’ve got myself into the position where my narrator has no idea what’s really going on and I’m juggling the story to keep her perspective, while moving the werewolf plot forwards.
It’s fun throwing in the little oddities Jacqui notices, like the lack of electricity (and flooed), and Ginny almost saying Knutless instead of penniless. Next, Jacqui finds out what Harry’s job really is!
Nevertheless, in the interests of the plot (unless I have a brainwave) there will have to be one or two third person chapters where Jacqui is absent. -N-
Wonderful chapter, Neil. I think I'm enjoying this story because although there's references to darker things (the werewolf, obviously), this story is really about Harry and Ginny and how they work as a family and how they're accepted into a community. I think you said in a previous response that there was meant to be more focus on the werewolf? This is just me, but I'm actually really enjoying what has happened, and I love Jacqui as a narrator. I loved all the speculation about Harry's job and "a nora".
Your characterisations are, of course, excellent, and I love the idea that Harry and Ginny behave like a young couple, not the parents of three children. I think that's very them. After all, they lost so much time together early on...
‘Do you think he’s a spy?’
‘James Bond, with glasses.’ That made me laugh. Okay, a lot of this chapter did. Very well-written and you handled the wizard/Muggle relations very well.
Thanks for the review Katrina
I originally intended that there would be more focus on the darker side of this story. Retaining Jacqui as a narrator has made that difficult. I’ve been busy re-planning this story to take into account the limitations and (I think) about one chapter in eight or nine will be third person Harry pov. Just to allow me to explain a few thinks that Jacqui can’t possibly know. I’m a little worried that this might be a clunky mechanism, but I can’t think of another way to do it.
James probably thought everyone knew that his daddy is a Nora.
I think that Harry and Ginny simply appreciate what they have. I’ve seen several stories where Harry is distracted from Ginny by work and I can’t see that happening. He’ll learn to juggle and delegate. And, after all, he thought about Ginny constantly during the Horcrux hunt.
This chapter was supposed to make you laugh. I hope that the next one will, too. In it, Mike will learn the answer to a very important question. Does the redhead have a bikini?
Summary: Writer’s block is to stress as Dragon Pox is to sickness. And banter is to romance as Draco is to Ginny. Or something like that. I dunno. Put down something witty and then tell everyone I wrote it.
Wonderful, Lia. Just really, really creative, funny, clever, original, well-written, witty... need I say more?
I don't think I've ever read something quite like this, and I just love the resourcefulness of taking writer's block and trouble with characters and turning it into something as fabulous as this. I commend you on giving this a go, too, because I imagine that if not done well, it would really be a mess. So good job on being brave and trying something different.
Just a few little nitpicks - Draco should have left well enough alone and went back to sleep. - It should be "gone back to sleep".
On the chesterfield sits the blond and the redhead - it should be sit, because it's plural.
Anyway. Very minor things. Loved the fic. Oh yeah, I loved the uncertainty about whether or not the dream happened. Just added something extra to this already amazing fic.
Author's Response: Aww, *blushes* thank you. You're too kind. And thank you for pointing out the SPaG errors. ^_^ This fic was just one of those things I wrote whilst having writer's block, so it kind of worked out. Ha. I wrote the whole thing in less than a week, and the entire time I thought, 'This is crap, but it's fun!' Hehe. So, thank you so much for such a lovely review. It really made my day. It's always nice to hear that I wrote a creative fic. :D ~Lia
Summary: The times we've shared, the sacrifices we've made, and the love we've given each other are about to carry us through the most terrifying battle we have ever fought:
The battle to save each other, even though we know we will die together.
After all your lovely reviews, I think it's time I owe you one!
This story was really well-written, I especially loved your characterisation of Tonks. Her dialogue, particularly when she arrived at the battle and talked about saving Remus, was perfect for her.
I think you also did a good job with Remus - his feelings towards Tonks in this are typical, it shows how he's desperate to hang on to her as he has lost everything/one else in his life. Sometimes his dialogue didn't quite fit, though, such as calling Dolohov "Death Eater" and the line "I merely wish for you to stay safe" - this seems a little formal and thought out, I would have expected something more like "I want/need you to stay safe!"
The description of Remus holding Tonks' dead body was absolutely beautiful, and the idea that in the end, Remus welcomes death fits too, though he would never suicide, I think when he recognises the inevitable, he is no longer scared. I also loved how the ending line about the Marauders matched up with the memories at the beginning.
Great fic, Maddy,
Author's Response: Hello, Katrina!
Thank you so much for the high praise! Several people have pointed out the dialogue to me; I should have gone over it more carefully before submitting it since it's been two years since I've wrote it. A note on its unexpected formality - Remus has a difficult time recognizing his emotions (or so I believe from Jo's characterization of him). When he feels alone, frustrated, miserable, frightened, or simply desperate, I feel as if he has a very difficult time knowing what to say. But! I do completely agree with you that sometimes it just does not seem to fit.
With regards to his death - indeed, that is what I was attempting to show. One thing Remus is not short on is courage, and if he must die, then he will embrace with open arms. Everything he loved and lived for seems to precede him; when you don't have very much to live for, you won't suicide (as you said) but you will explore the life's next challenge, death.
Thank you so much for your comments and feedback, it feels lovely to receive such praise :). If I ever have the time, I plan to go back to this and edit the dialogue, because now that I'm really thinking about it, it sounds rather naïve, since I was younger at the time. Again, I can't thank you enough! I simply hope that my writing can be as lovely as yours:).
Summary: Harry must face the border between reality and illusion. In the process, he might be forced to sacrifice his most valuable possession: his sanity.
Wow... this was really well written and really interesting, definitely a different take on Harry's story. It makes a lot of sense, though, as the Dursleys' treatment of him must have had some effect, and Harry in reality feels worth nothing, so it would make sense that he create a world in which he is at the centre and which he solely has the ability to save.
I loved how you made Harry realise that they were right - that was really ingenious. Throughout the fic, I wasn't really sure how you were going to do that, as he was so adamant that the wizarding world existed.
Just a small nitpick - at the end you've written Admitted on Aprial 1990 and it should say "in".
You also have a bit of a tense problem - the story keeps randomly switching between present and past tense (eg Harry croaks and He wanted to get his wand.. Personally, I would put it all in the present tense, it gives the reader an immediacy and a connection to Harry, but that's up to you.
It's an interesting and disturbing point you bring up in this fic... it makes me wonder, is the human mind really capable of making something like this up and believing it? But then again... the entire HP universe was made up by someone and I have to admit that at least a few times I've tried to kid myself that it actually exists. Interesting.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I thought the beginning was really interesting - in that opening section, I had no idea where this fic was headed... I thought perhaps you were going down the track of Harry got hit by some speel in the last battle and is changed forever etc. So anyway... great fic and well written (except for the small tenses thing).
Sorry for this exceedingly long and rambly review which probably makes little sense... anyway... thanks for writing such a great and thought-provoking fic.
Author's Response: Wow. That had to be my longest-ever review; thanks so much for being so keen on the story and for taking the time to write such a review ^_^ I'll fix the 'Admitted' thing soon and, if I find the time, will try to rewrite the bits that have the past tense (I agree with you that the present tense would be much more appropriate for something like this). Thank YOU, again, for taking the time to read and review this fic!
Summary: How would you react if everything you had always believed impossible turned up in the centre of your family?
A series of one-shots narrated by Muggles whose sibling, lover or child turned out to be a wizard.
I just have to review this fic again... All I can say is 'wow'. Such an interesting scenario here - and I love what you conclude at the end - that magic is just an excuse for Derek to blame his problems with Linda on (to be honest, she does sound quite a handful!). I loved the idea that he's gone to see a councillor about it, I also thought it was interesting that you don't use speech marks - any particular reason?
Hmm anyway I'm not sure if this review has made a huge amount of sense... but I absolutely LOVE your work and I thought that this story was really interesting. Keep it up!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again, Katrina. Yes, I did mean to suggest that Linda's selfishness was a large part of what was wrong with their marriage, although Derek is so pointedly dull that one wonders if he does it deliberately. I thought speech marks would get in the way of a "stream of consciousness" story. The counsellor isn't really important to the set-up; she's a bit of an interruption to the narrative. And thank you so much for liking a story about characters who have such minimal canon tie-in! For the record, I think Robert Rivers will marry Su Li and take over the management of her parents' Chinese restaurant. His older sister will marry and divorce Roger Davies, remarry into the Fawcetts and keep a little goose-farm (wizards need the feathers to make quills). The younger sister marries into the Macmillans and becomes a bee-keeper. At one time I assumed Derek and Linda would separate, although neither would ever remarry, but now I'm not so sure. I think they might be perfeclty capable of pecking and poking their way through the rest of their lives together.
I recall you mentioning in a response that there would be 11 chapters... but you haven't ticked the "completed" thing, so I was wondering if there's more?
Anyway. The stories.
Redemption: Once again, this one was totally different, as it didn't deal with a family member discovering magic, and the person who discovered it later had no memory of it. I think you made a great point about how one could still be magical and religious - that they're not mutually exclusive. It's also interesting because I know of some Christian people who refuse to let children read HP because it's supposedly "satanic", which is kind of ironic, because the values presented in the books are all about friendship, love, loyalty, defeating evil etc. Anyway, nice idea, something totally different, and I really liked Lucy. It was interesting that it didn't seem to bother her that she wasn't magical. Also, I know in some of your other stories you've touched on the ethics of Obliviating Muggles, and I thought perhaps you could have explored that a bit more here. Anyway, great story :).
Resources: Here is another great example of your brilliance and your attention to detail - including Muggle history like the miners' strike was really interesting (also I love how everyone comes from such different backgrounds). When the money thing started, I thought it was a bit weird as I thought you were breaking Gramp's Laws of Transfiguration... which seemed weird, as you'd quoted from it at the beginning, so I was glad that you explained that one properly. And you cheated!! The fic wasn't from the perspective of a Muggle at all... not that I mind lol, it was a great story and Louise was an interesting character.
Refutation: I'm so glad you included something about a Squib... this was fantastic! It was hard to read (in a good way) as I knew from the beginning (because of your quote) that Miles would be a Squib and that would be a major problem in his family. I wasn't expecting them to throw him out, though! That was horrendous. Kind of interesting that although some of the Muggles when first exposed to magic acted despicably, none were as bad as the wizards who had a Squib. Interesting. I loved the bit about genetics at the end - it made a lot of sense and the last line was just perfect. I loved how at the beginning, Marcus was telling Miles to make friends with Harry Potter... and then Miles ended up taking Harry's place at school! I also loved your characterisation of Malfoy, Nott and Neville, particularly Neville who was just, so, well... Neville (I can't think of a better way of explaining him, but I thought you nailed the characterisation).
One thing - I'd love it if you wrote a fic about Miles at Stonewall High, and him encountering Dudley or something. It would be fascinating.
There were two lines in this story that I thought were beautiful - There was no point in disillusioning them a minute before I had to. On this, the very last day of my childhood, I would be the son whom my parents expected me to be.. This was so sad, and hints at the fact that even if Miles isn't sent away, he will never really be 'part of the family'. The other one was So the last kind words I had ever heard my father speak had been addressed to Marcus. Now here I really should have picked up that he was going to be kicked out... but I remember thinking it was a little strange, but I didn't really put it together. Anyway, great foreshadowing, I was definitely uneasy about what would happen to him.
I really do hope more stories are coming!!!
Oh by the way, I have two posted stories on a similar theme to these - called "July the twenty-fourth" and "Magic" in case you're interested, though they're definitely not as good as your fics.
Author's Response: Dear Katrina, ~ Put it this way: I wrote 13 stories and I may post the last two eventually. But I wasn’t able to find beta readers for them, and the difference in quality really shows. So I don’t want to post them yet. The missing stories should have been 9th and 10th in the sequence. ~ In “Redemption”, it’s safe to say that Pastor Evald isn’t the important character. It’s a story about Lucy and Terry negotiating their faith through unchartered waters, because they don’t know any adult Christian wizards to help them. There must be some, of course, but Terry hasn’t met them yet. I don’t think Lucy thinks much about the Obliviation ethics. She is only 15 or 16 and she doesn’t like Evald, so she is only focused on what will help Terry and keep her local church sane. ~ The real point of the Harry Potter books is not the “Christian values”, some of which which you’ll actually find in any worthwhile story, but the literary point that Harry himself is a Christ-figure. The book that Lucy describes in the antepenultimate paragraph is, of course, “Deathly Hallows”. It’s a book that can never exist in her universe, but it does in ours, and it’s the best possible answer to the real-life Pastor Evalds. Fortunately there aren’t very many of those in Britain, but I’m told there are a few in America who have never quite shut up! ~ One of the points of writing a series like this is that all the Muggles should indeed come from different backgrounds. Justin is an aristocrat, so Sophie is his opposite, from the underclass of British society. I think the two of them would get along fine in Hufflepuff because they both have a fundamental honesty. ~ To be more precise about Gamp’s Law: the “money” Sophie and Louise produce is leprechaun gold. It doesn’t look quite right and it only lasts a few hours. Because they are desperate, they are able to get it to the Muggle shops before it vanishes, but more than one shop assistant would have had some explaining to do at the end of the day! ~ Yes, I cheated. That’s why this story is placed at the end of the series, after the pattern is set. Louise thought she was a Muggle right up to the time she produced those coins. She was half way to the shop before she remembered that Sophie’s coins are always dated to the current year yet Sophie hadn’t been in the house at any time in the 1992 calendar year so she couldn’t have conjured these particular specimens. After that, Louise began to ask herself what else she might have done but attributed to Sophie, but she kept quiet about her conclusion because she knew that the Hogwarts letter would be the only real proof. ~ I think “Refutation” is actually a very vicious story. I assumed prejudiced wizards would behave worse than prejudiced Muggles because they are not *afraid* of Squibs – they know they have all the power in the situation. I did wonder whether the Flints would really have thrown an 11-year-old out of the house; but the Blacks could be pretty nasty, and I think the Malfoys wouldn’t have hesitated. ~ The point about Miles taking Harry’s place is that Miles is a boy who *should* have been in Harry’s year at Hogwarts but wasn’t. So it was natural to pair him with Neville, the alternative-destiny boy who wasn’t the Chosen One, and who was a loner at Hogwarts because his friend ended up not accompanying him there. I love Neville; anyone who wants to be his friend must be a decent person. ~ Dudley wasn’t at Stonewall because he went to that pretentious private school, but it’s quite plausible that Miles might have met him around Little Whinging. Perhaps Miles and his new friends try to break up a fight or a raid? I wonder if Miles ever met Mrs Figg? There’s certainly potential for a story about Little Whinging in Harry’s absence... ~ Thanks for all your support and for the detail and depth of your reviews. They have really made the writing worthwhile. Best wishes, GhV
I had been planning to review this when I finished it... but I'm so impressed particularly with this chapter that I just had to say something now!!
In general, I think you have a great idea here, and I think it's something that JKR doesn't explore a huge amount in canon, but it's very interesting. I particularly loved the quote at the beginning of "Revulsion" - I think that's really true.
Anyway, I'll write something quick about each of the ones you've written so far.
Rapture: What an ingenious idea that Lavender would exercise magic over clothing particularly! I loved how in this one, it ended up being for the best that Jasmine wasn't magical as well, as she had something else to focus her life on. I loved how you showed that it's possible to keep a family together through magic. Just one question - when they meet the Patils, where's Padma?
Revulsion: Well this one was almost the opposite... such a tragic story, and it really shows how magic - or something unknown and incomprehensible - can tear a family apart. Your characters were great, and I loved the detail you put into your research (particularly in how you connected Lisa to Thorfinn Rowle). Beautifully written.
Recognition: I really, really loved this one! I think you did a fantastic job of characterising Justin and explaining his background. I especially loved the bit when his mother discovers Gilderoy Lockhart, and the fact that Justin responded to his letter. But I particularly loved your attention to detail - for example the explanation of the Finch's over the centuries, which seems insignificant but just gives your story so much depth. Another example is how you mentioned that Prince William would be going to Eton a few years behind Justin... it just adds so much!
So anyway... fantastic idea for a story, I'm looking forward to reading the rest!!
Author's Response: Dear Katrina, Thanks for such a long and thoughtful review. I'll try to do it justice; I'm really impressed by how well you understand my writing. ~ I tried to give a different kind of accidental magic to each young wizard, and of course it's fashion for Lavender. You might have noticed that Lisa is the scientist who defies the laws of physics amd Justin would consider it vulgar (even subconsciously) to use magic unless some other person really needs it. In forthcoming chapters, Hermione's magic is all related to verbal cues and puns, while Kevin's is tied to plants and animals. ~ Padma might have been in Lavender's way at Madam Malkins. I saw very fast that she didn't need to be there at all because Madam Malkin didn't need to fit both sisters if they were identical. So obviously Padma and her father had already moved on to Flourish & Blott's to buy the textbooks. Their brother needed a fitting, though. Even though he isn't relevant to the story, I've somehow always seen Parvati & Padma as having an older brother. ~ Yes, "Revulsion" was a deliberate opposite, and you are very right: it's the "something unknown and incomprehensible" rather than magic as such that can tear a family apart. I think both Lisa's fathers would be terrified of anything they couldn't control - that must be how her natural father found the will to give up drinking. The mother was a closet intellectual, though: she would have loved the chance for more education, and that's why she was pleased - if bewildered - that Lisa would have opportunities. Turpin/Thorfinn was a no-brainer. After all, I AM the author of the Classlist essay! ~ And I am so touched that you liked "Recognition" because I did wonder if anyone would even understand what it was about. Evidently I underestimated the fandom, because you're not the only reader to recognise that the Baroness's dilemma wasn't really about magic or even class snobbery. It was the more universal theme of "I expected my child to do something ELSE!" Prince William did indeed go to Eton just two years after Justin should have, so Justin truly did throw away a massive worldly advantage. I wrote the Finch family history as a personal indulgence because I didn't think anyone else would be interested. Again, I under-estimated the readers of fanfic, and I am so glad to be wrong about that! ~ Thank you so much for writing in, and I hope you enjoy the subsequent episodes too. GhV
Thanks for such a long response to my review!!! So here's another one, on the four chapters since I last reviewed.
Resignation: Such excellent characterisation of Hermione! I loved the back story about her mum - how she'd wanted so many children but hadn't been able to - it made the whole story so much more tragic. I think you really picked up on something with Hermione being called a 'freak' at school... it makes me see how she connects so well with Harry (after all, at the beginning of PoS, it's Ron who really doesn't like her and Harry won't disagree with him because Ron's his first friend). I also think you picked up on something great with the lack of relationship with her parents once she found somewhere she belonged - from canon I got the impression that the Granger's never quite grasped the wizarding world, and Hermione spent so little time with them...
Rationalism: Well this one was certainly interesting... I'm not quite sure if I agree with the ethics of it, but it was certainly a new perspective on Muggle/magical relations within a family. I loved both Kevin and Callum as characters, and the two letters Kevin wrote home made me smile.
Riddlement: I have to say that I didn't like this one as much as the others... I can't quite put my finger on why, but I think maybe I didn't find it quite as brilliant as everything else. I think perhaps it wasn't quite as poignant as the other stories because it was about two boys finding out, not adults, and children believe things more easily. But don't get me wrong, it certainly wasn't bad. I think it made me laugh more than the others, and perhaps it was good to have something lighter, as some of the others have been quite dark... no that's not really the word, just sad really.
Rejection: Firstly, I loved how you connected Maeve to the resistance and how she'd left because of her brother, because it makes so much sense that in OoTP Seamus refuses to believe Harry because of his Mum - also because she lost her husband basically because of Voldemort. I always imagined it that Seamus' father hadn't actually left when he found out... not sure if it actually says in canon or not... anyway, this was beautifully written and I really loved the ending (though it's terribly sad).
So, all in all, your writing is captivating and really interesting and I can't wait for more (how many chapters will it be?). I also wanted to say, I love your creativity with showing the first signs of the children's magic, and what you said in your last response about how their magic relates to their personalities works so well. I also love how you give lots of different perspectives (as in parent, sibling, step-parent, husband) and how each story is something completely new and fresh; I don't think any of these stories have doubled up on ideas, which is really quite amazing, because often these kinds of stories are very similar (as in the parents reaction to their kids being magical scenario).
Anyway... I'll stop rambling now. I can't wait for more!!!
Author's Response: Another amazing review! I hardly know where to start... Yes, I wanted to portray the Grangers as loviing their daughter but never quite knowing where to start with the wizarding world. They knew it was better for Hermione, which meant I had to couch that "better" in terms that they would understand, i.e. to get her away from the bullying. We know that JKR was bullied at school: she says it wasn't all that serious, but Hermione is an exaggerated JKR, so I exaggerated the bullying too. ~ Yes, I agree that in PS Harry only found Hermione mildly annoying; he would have been quite happy to ignore her completely if Ron hadn't been so fascinated by maintaining hostilties.~ I don't agree with the ehics of "Rationalism" but I think it's what some wizards would do. JKR uses violence for comedic effect, yet at thet same time she tells us that it isn't really funny (think of Neville being bounced off Blackpool Pier). The wizards who would drown a child rather than let him be a happy Squib would not hesitate to deceive a Muggle about the real nature of Hogwarts or to laugh their heads off at how easy it was to exploit his materialism. ~ Now you mention it, "Riddlement" is the one place where I probably did repeat a theme. The Muggle stepbrothers react with delight, rather like Jasmine in "Rapture", and there's not much more to it. Unlike Jasmine, who will know about magic but live separately from it, the Slater brothers will be forced to live with it. It does make a difference to the tone of the household whether the witch is a parent or just a sibling. Jeremy will even marry a witch: I think it's a natural scenario that one way wizards marry Muggles is because they meet their Muggleborn friends' siblings or their Muggle siblings' friends. ~ I had to admit, I couldn't quite decide whether Seamus's father had left or not. Seamus talks in PS as if his father still lives with them. But we never see him in canon and he doesn't seem to have any authority in Seamus's family. Obviously, Muggles can't enter Hogwarts or attend the Quidditch World Cup, so that's why the mother is the only parent whom we meet directly; but they give so little consideration to Mr Finnigan that I really wondered if he was there at all. I did want to think that the "nasty shock" was something bigger than just "I don't like magic," and I once I found out what the nature of the shock was, it explained Seamus's mother's attitudes rather well. ~ I wrote 13 chapters (a coven-full!), but I couldn't find betas for two of them (both about mixed marriages), so I'm only posting 11 for now. The next one that I'll actually post is also about a mixed marriage, then the last three deal with the Big Issues of how magic fits into the universe. The final few stories have stings in the tail as I cheat progressively more on the original paradigm for this collection. ~ Thanks for all your support. Reviews like yours really make the writing worthwhile! GhV
Summary: A lonely figure walks down the street, long auburn hair trailing behind her in the blustery wind. She pulls a red wool coat snug around her, gloved hands tucked into pockets as she wanders the sidewalk, glancing up at the shop fronts. She is young, but her face is lined with sadness, as if searching for something she has lost. Her green eyes long for answers.
Across the way a young man stops and stares at the woman in the red coat, hardly daring to believe it might be her. And yet as she turns and walks back up the street, he knows it is, and his heart stops beating for a moment. He blinks, just to see if she will disappear from his life once more, like she did over a year ago.
Gina, you always seem to get James and Lily so right. This story was completely different to any James/Lily story I've read before, and it worked so beautifully.
I have always wondered why it's a "Memory Charm", not a "Memory Curse", because I think stealing someone's memories is like stealing the most private part of their lives... anyway, ranting a bit here... I loved how you explored how Lily's memory loss impacted her and more significantly, those around her, specifically James. You really showed how hard it is for him, having known her for so long and everything she experienced and yet knowing that she'll never remember it.
The beginning was captivating, and throughout the fic I was quietly hoping with James that she'd get her memory back... but I think how you ended this was even better. And he hopes that for all that she has lost, something new has now been found. That is a great way to end a story, because it's just so true in general.
I liked how both James and Lily were like the small amount we see of them in canon and yet both so different. Lovely job with the characterisation there.
Personally I thought Lily would have been more angry with James for not telling her about Severus... but that's just my opinion.
You used present tense flawlessly, and the story flowed well.
Author's Response: Katrina, a very belated thank you for the lovely review! I really appreciate it and am so glad you liked the story. I'm glad you enjoyed the characterization and the slightly different approach to one of my favorite couples. As for Lily being more angry at James regarding Severus - I could see that, but then, she doesn't remember just how close she was with Snape, so at the same time maybe she doesn't have a basis for getting more angry. Or maybe I just like to avoid writing about Snape, lol. Kidding! Thanks again! ~Gina :)
Summary: Ron is on his way to ask Hermione a question. He thinks that Hermione knows everything, but will she be able to answer this question?
This made me laugh. It was just so... well... Ron. You really did his characterisation fantastically - particularly the part when he doubted himself. I think it's really interesting that you chose to focus on his thoughts leading up to proposing, rather than actually proposing itself, it really gave insight into Ron. I loved the last line, too. It finished this off nicely.
Like some other reviewers, I am hoping you'll write the story of Harry's proposal to Ginny, I'm sure it could be equally as interesting.
Anyway, thanks for a great read.
Thanks for the review.
I think Ron gained a lot of maturity and confidence in DH. But regardless of that, this is a situation where confidence fails unless you have an ego the size of a planet.
Harry? Possibly, but not soon, unless inspiration strikes.-N
Summary: It's three in the morning and one nightmare just melts into another.
Beautiful fic, you portrayed so much character in so few words!! I think it's very interesting that Neville's nightmare is something from his childhood, but something that's still connected to Voldemort. It did remind me of Harry - especially what he sees when Dementors come near him. Of course, your Neville reminded me quite a lot of Harry, I suppose that's the point, in the way that he becomes a leader amongst the students and is willing to take their pain. There is something very fitting about how Neville becomes like this at the end... after all, he very nearly had Harry's fate. Anyway, I'm rambling here... point is, you really showed how he had become brave like Harry.
I liked your point that Neville wishes he was on the run, because at least he'd be doing something. I think that's something very realistic to think; also kind of ironic because the trio spent months camping and feeling like they were doing nothing.
I also liked Seamus in this - obviously something about him changes at the end of OotP, when he believes Harry, but we never really see him stand up to authority as he wasn't in the original DA, until we hear about it in DH. I thought it was likely that he'd been beaten up more than Neville too, as he could never keep his mouth shut.
I loved the details like the bunny slippers, and how in an unfamiliar world we (as humans) always love to grasp on to something familiar, even if it's something we hate. After all, change is always much harder than staying the same. Also I loved how Neville continuously thinks of how things should be - noise in the dorm, Hermione studying etc.
One small thing - you wrote: Neville and Seamus were the only ones who had bothered turning up. . I know the point you're making, but I think indicating that the other boys hadn't bothered to turn up isn't quite right...
Oh dear... I've gone on rather a lot... sorry about that! Loved the fic :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Julie
Summary: After working late one Christmas Eve and missing yet another day out with his godson, Harry finds himself realising that perhaps he can't do it all and is forced to make an important choice.
Great one-shot! I think you have a great insight into Harry's mind - it seems very realistic that after all that time of having a purpose- and something extremly important as well - he would search for something else in his life which would make him feel needed. After all, he hardly steps back from the danger by becoming Head of the Auror Office - obviously there's still something he feels he needs in it for himself. I love that it's Andromeda who makes him see it - she's perfect for the role as she sees so clearly how it affects Teddy - who, after all, is affected more than Harry's own children as their time together is already limited. Also, Ginny doesn't seem the type to complain, and she would understand the importance of Harry's job to him, so it makes sense that she doesn't confront him about it.
Andromeda's characterisation and dialogue were fantastic, I almost felt like I was being told off!
I also think it's typical Harry to let things slide without really noticing... after all he's never the best at noticing things. Also interesting that Ron has made the effort to be home - I think this is in character as I can't see anything being more important to Ron than his family, which I think is in a way a big difference between him and Harry (not that Harry doesn't love his family) because of how they grew up.
Anyway... long ramble... but really great story :).
Summary: Severus Snape, barely out of Hogwarts and hungry for knowledge, joins the Death Eaters to gain more. A loner, he does not consider himself anyone’s servant.
On the same night he gets branded with the Dark Mark, he meets with Albus Dumbledore who begs to differ.
Thanks to the lovely Alex aka welshdevondragon for beta'ing this!
Very interesting fic, particularly as it's your first one!! (My first fic was definitely nowhere near this good...). So. Firstly, of course, I have to commend your characterisation of Snape. The idea that he joined Voldemort simply to experiment with magic and his own ability is very fitting, but personally I think there is an underlying security, a desire to belong, which he is too arrogant to admit to himself. Lines like this - I knew I didn’t belong anywhere and I didn’t need a gang. I simply wanted to explore. - I think were great - it shows his arrogance in his own abilities so well. I loved how you showed that he believes he's got things under control, that he won't be forced to do things he doesn't want to. I think in general this fic really sets his character up for who he becomes.
And Albus was just fantastic in this! I loved how you drew the two of them together - after all, they are very similar. Brilliant men who thought they deserved better from society than what they got. Who hated life being mundane. So that interaction between them was great.
I also like the point you made about how sometimes we just have to put up with life being boring or uninteresting. That's just life. But Severus doesn't like to see it that way.
Anyway... rambling here a bit... great character story!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and the apprecation! I'm really glad you got the underlying insecurity in Snape. He IS brilliant but he's also a complete failure when it comes to his social life. And everyone, unless really mentally disturbed, has a desire to belong. So instead of thinking of himself as a failure who can't make friends, he thinks of himself as this brilliant loner of a genius. Thanks again, for reviewing! :)