Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).
I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.
I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.
Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
Summary: There she is. Right there, laying on the bed next to me.
I'm assuming that I is Rodolphus, she is Bellatrix, he is Voldemort and it is her dark mark. The only thing is... I always thought Bellatrix had wild hair, not silky soft hair (although that could just be the movies... Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal of Bellatrix isn't exactly forgettable...). And I did find it a little weird that at some point Voldemort shared Rodolphus & Bellatrix's bed, not because Bellatrix wouldn't want it, but because I can't imagine Voldemort wanting that sort of contact with people.
Anyway, I loved this fic!! Your writing was beautiful, and you captured Rodolphus so well. It must have been hard being married to Bellatrix when clearly her whole life was poured into Voldemort. So great job there!!
Author's Response: Go you for getting the people :) And yes, in the films Bellatrix does have wild hair, but I'm pretty sure her hair isn't mentioned in the books. Personally, I've always thought of her as stunningly beautiful, but with a completely warped mind, so it would be impossible to tell her insanity until she said, or did something odd. And anyway, she's supposed to be a perfect pureblood wife, like her sister Narcissa, so it wouldn't be a huge stretch of the imagination that she would be expected to be beautiful. As for the bed sharing, I would imagine for that to have been in Voldemort's first rise to power, when he was Tom Riddle. In this time period, he would still have an attractive body, because let's face it, if you looked like the film Voldemort, wouldn't you have low self confidence? Much thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it :)
Summary: The people in the Burrow learn of Mad-Eye's death, and Tonks reminisces over their time together.
I think this is a great idea for a fic, and I loved the scene in the middle between Tonks and Moody - it really showed a beginning for the relationship between them that we see in canon.
I think you have a canon error - at the beginning, you said that "If Tonks had just been one year younger, he would have been her teacher". This isn't technically correct - Tonks was in the same year as Charlie, who graduated before Harry started, so she would have had to have been 3 years younger to have been taught by Remus. I also found it a little strange that you never used Remus' first name. I know often in canon he is referred to by his last name, but that is because the books are basically Harry's perspective and for him Remus is a former teacher.
Those are just small things though, I really did enjoy this. "They had all known this might happen, and they were all willing to die in order to defeat Voldemort. But when Tonks thought about Moody, and the kind of man he was – he shouldn’t have died like that. He should have died where everyone could have seen and applauded him – not where his death would have to be covered up. Not where the Order had to go and rescue his body to stop the Death Eaters taking it." - I really loved that paragraph and how it showed both Moody's and Tonks' characters.
The only other thing is that I wish it had been a little longer. Perhaps you could have showed us more interaction between Tonks and Moody or something?
Anyway, great fic, I really enjoyed this :).
Summary: Lisa Turpin is a Ravenclaw; she's always been a thinker rather than a doer, but somehow she finds herself fighting for her life and the love of her life all at the same time.
I am h_vic of Hufflepuff and this is my final for Carole's Missing Moments class
This was such a beautiful story. I loved the characters, and the group of four you had here. It was a great way of getting over the barrier which often comes up with characters in Harry's year who weren't in the DA. It seems very realistic that the three boys didn't tell Lisa about it because they wanted to keep her safe.
I think it was very interesting to start with Lisa contemplating death, and seeing its impact. It fits very well with the ending. Somehow I knew that Terry was doomed from the start... perhaps it was his 'it's all a game' attitude, I'm not sure. But it was still so sad when it happened... right until those last few lines I was hoping with Lisa that he'd survived.
I love what you've set up between Lisa and Michael - it really shows how the death of a friend can tear another friendship apart... if that makes sense. You really showed the impact of death.
I also liked Daphne in this - perhaps she wasn't "evil" as we like to brand some people (although, is anyone ever completely evil?), she still went along with what was easiest for her, and she had fled the castle to Hogsmeade with the younger children rather than stay and fight. I think this made her realistic.
Anyway, I really loved this story. Your writing was beautiful and the whole story just tragic. You nearly had me in tears. (That's a compliment!)
Summary: “How vain is it to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live?” - Henry David Thoreau
A collection of Post Hogwarts drabbles featuring the Slytherin loner, Theodore Nott.
This is a very interesting look at Theodore, who I think is an interesting character, because he is the loner, and we see so little of him in the books, but we know that he didn't join in the Battle, which makes him interesting to me.
In the first chapter, I loved the idea that he'd wanted a career change and gone to work for The Quibbler. It's logical, too, because Luna wouldn't be concerned about prejudice. I know it must have been hard to include all the prompts... but bits of it just didn't flow quite right to me. I don't know, the bit about Luna's shoes just seemed a little contrived and didn't really seem to have any purpose... but on the whole, it was a great start with excellent characterisation. Oh and the writing at the beginning was absolutely beautiful.
I'm sorry to say that this chapter also seemed a little disjointed, although somehow I think it worked a little better. I'm hoping you explain more of this in the later chapters, though, particularly about the woman, because it was written so well but I was a little confused. I loved the line about painting the sky any colour you want... also you set up some very interesting family dynamics in the flashbacks, particularly contrasted with Theo being alone at the funeral in the first chapter.
Your imagery and use of language is absolutely beautiful, and I love your characterisations, but the plot just seems a little disjointed/jumpy at this point. But great story :).
Author's Response: Yes, unfortunately, I can't post one drabble at a time - as it would probably make more sense. This was part of a challenge, where we were given a prompt (and extra challenge) once a week. I do believe I'm the only one who followed a linear narrative - and completed all twenty prompts. Heh. So, think of all the drabbles as vignettes, snap-shots in time. I probably shouldn't have included the challenge for the sake of it, but I was greedy for the extra points. ^_~ As the "story" moves along, you'll find that I care less about the challenges and just write. (The plot will seem to leap forward a lot, though.)
Thank you for the review. I'll have to try my hand at a one-shot of Theodore some time soon. ^_^
I hope you didn't find my previous review negative. In fact, after reading this chapter, I almost feel like taking it back, because somehow after this chapter everything begins to make sense and doesn't feel disjointed anymore. But I guess I was just telling you how it felt at the time...
Anyway. I loved this chapter. You write Theo being uncomfortable thrust back into this world so well, particularly in how he has become a celebrity and something of a heartthrob. It sort of makes me think of how uncomfortable neville would be with the fame of his heroism post Battle. Anyway.
The idea that Daphne had used his poetry for her vows was wonderful. Just such a great connection between them, that's there despite being nothing like what Theo dreams it to be.
A few things - as far as I know, it's "Witch Weekly", not "Witches Weekly". And at one point you wrote "decent" when I'm pretty sure you meant "descent" (when Theo went to meet Draco and Astoria).
Luna is very in character, you write her very well. And I loved the house elves, and the way you showed that Theo has changed from the way his parents behaved. (As in, in the difference between Kip and Gracie.)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for spotting those typos. All fixed now. :D And, I'm glad you liked the drabbles from this chapter. It's the beginnings of Theo slowly breaking from his shell, and you'll soon see how well he deals with rejection (from Daphne).
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It's nice to see someone invest themselves in the characters and pick up on all the little nuances that I tried to add. ^^
I loved the letter to Pride. Really ingenious and quirky and funny and clever. I also love the idea that he's fallen for Luna. The way you've presented the two of them here, they just work so well together. It's not a pairing I would have thought of, but you've really made it work.
I also like the nickname Teddy - somehow it's softer and more innocent than Theo or Theodore (or perhaps that's just because it makes me think of Teddy Lupin).
Anyway, despite my first review, I'm really enjoying this fic, and in the last few chapters you've worked the prompts really well and it hasn't felt disjointed. Great work :).
Author's Response: When I was first writing this story, I'd receive a new prompt each week, so I never truly knew where I was going with the story. I had never intended for Luna and Theo to be a couple, but she just sort of became his rock, and it felt natural to make him slowly fall in love with her. Plus, I totally understand how the beginning seemed disjointed. Like I mentioned earlier, I was too focused on literally fulfilling each prompt and bonus, but, as you saw, as the story progressed, it sort of took a life of its own outside of the prompts. So, thank you for sticking with it. ^_^
Well I have to say, you really did a fantastic job of completing all the challenges and prompts. I particularly loved how you used the "fairy tales are true", because that just flowed so naturally as something Luna would do to tell him that she's pregnant.
Life, however, cannot be lived in passing shadows, secluded in libraries and schools. Escapism is a wonderful fantasy in theory, but life catches up with you eventually. Your past revisits you, haunts you, will never let you rest… How well-written and how true. To me, that really shows how Theo has changed throughout the fic. I loved the reference to the dream again, as well, and the idea of coming full circle. It gives this fic a sense of completion.
Author's Response: Ha! Thank you. I'm so glad you saw the quirkiness in Luna. At first, I wasn't sure how to use the prompt without sounding clichť, but then I just remembered how unorthodox Luna is, like her response to Theo's proposal. Heh. Also, I'm quite pleased that you got the feeling that Theo has not only changed but come full circle. I must admit that I had a lot of fun writing these prompts, although they can be challenging, but now I look forward to writing something "big" in the future, featuring my new favourite person, Teddy Nott. ^_^
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing all the drabbles and keeping at it. I really appreciate it. ~Lia
Summary: My name is Rose Evans. My parents were Lily and James Potter, and Harry Potter is my twin brother, though he didn't know. I was raised by Severus Snape. This is my story.
RECENTLY NOMINATED FOR 2011 QSQ BEST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!! Thank you, grangergirl35!!
Sorry that it's taken me so long to read more of this story. I also only got your response from my last review today, as my inbox decided to put it in my junk folder, which I don't check regularly. Anyway.
A few points from your response - I agree, I don't think Harry would make a connection between Rose and himself, but I would be surprised if Hermione didn't, but I suppose with school and everything Harry gets up to I suppose she's rather busy.
Also Snape - I think in a way he is a bit of a tragic hero, and people often view him in that way, but at the same time he did treat Harry terribly and refused to see anything other than his father in him. I read the other day that Potter fans have voted him their favourite character, which I suppose makes sense, since he's probably the character with the most depth in the series. Anyway, I digress. I think it's interesting that Rose is blind to how Sev acts, such as the line Honestly, it wasn't favoritism; Sev was above that sort of thing.... I think this is interesting, because it really highlights how two peoples' perspectives on one person and their actions can vary greatly. For example, Snape sees Harry as arrogant and mediocre because it's what he expects, other teachers see something different. It makes you wonder how accurate Harry's presentation of all the characters in canon is...
I liked the awkwardness between Rose and Sev when she left his house - as in that they're both awkward with showing emotion.
I think it's interesting every time you write the words "my brother", because in a way, there's so much more to being siblings than biological relationship, and I get a feeling of sadness for Rose, particularly with that scene at the end, that she's never been able to talk to her brother and share her life with him.
I also liked how you sort of paralleled Rose and Harry's experiences with Apparition - both going Side-Along with Dumbledore and having a similar feeling afterwards.
Author's Response: YAY! I'm so glad you're back reviewing me again, I'm loving the super-long in depth stuff you're telling me! It's like Author Heaven... Yeah, I was counting on Hermione being too busy with Harry to pay much attention to Rose. As for the Snape-Rose relationship, again, that's exactly what I was going for. Rose turns a blind eye to Severus as much as she can- and who can blame her? The man raised her, after all. Keep in mind that that makes Rose about as biased as Harry's presentation is. That's why she's so clueless about Snape as a villain. Awkward Moments are my specialty, having participated in several over the course of my fifteen years. :) Again, with the "my brother" thing- spot on! And I put in Side-Along Apparition as a bit of comic relief. :) Glad you're liking this!
Even though this story is essentially another perspective on the events of HBP (well sofar, anyway), I think you do really well at not making it repetitive, because Rose's perspective is so different. I like the way she pre-empts things that Harry does (eg shout when Dumbledore announces Snape as DADA teacher), because from her side it's almost as if he's a friend, but he doesn't particularly know who she is.
Valentine seems to be an interesting character - she makes me think a little of Theodore Nott, the other Slytherin loner. She's not technically on the class list, but that's not really canon and obviously you're not using anyway because neither Rose nor Sammy are on it. Anyway.
I didn't really like the ending of this chapter, for a few reasons - firstly, I thought it unlikely that Rose and Sammy would have been leaving the village at precisely that time, and secondly they didn't seem very affected by what happened. She screamed and moaned and writhed, but Hagrid picked her up and carried her off, and the other four students trailed after him. I don't think this really describes what it would have been like to watch this event, even from a distance... I think it would have been more terrifying.
Also, Sammy clearly doesn't know who brought Rose up - but surely Rose must have told her something...
I couldn't change what Sev brought upon himself. I thought this was an interesting line, because sofar in this fic Rose has completely defended Sev, so it's interesting that her attitude has changed somewhat.
Rose's comments about Hermione also make me smile, and I think they're true.
Author's Response: "From her side, it's almost as if he's a friend, but he doesn't particularly know who she is." ~You have been paying attention! I like to picture Rose watching from the sidelines all through school, cheering Harry on through everything that happens to him. She's been watching him- hopefully not in a creepy way, hee hee. Valentine was almost a total accident. She built more and more as I wrote the story, and she's become one of my favorites. As for the whole thing with the locket, you have to keep in mind that A) I'm still learning a lot about writing, and B) this was one of the chapters I wrote at one o' clock in the morning (I'm a slave to inspiration...). But you're absolutely right, I did skim over book six Moments almost too much. I just wanted to get through the repeat and get on with Year Seven. Also- yeah, she told Sammy something, it just wasn't necessarily the truth. I think it's mentioned a bit later... Pay attention to Rose's thoughts on Snape, you're on the right track there. And Rose's comments about Hermione are pretty much the same as mine. Remember, Rose is basically me, only tweaked a bit. :) Review again soon!!
This is an intriguing and interesting beginning to a story. I was a little sceptical when I read the summary, because while I don't mind a bit of AU here and there, I really prefer canon. But you've really made this concept work - it's obvious that you've thought it out.
Rose jumped off the page as a character - particularly when Sev told her who her parents were, I really got a sense of Lily (or at least, how I imagine Lily) when she asked if he'd killed anyone and when she said "You're not bad!". I liked how she talked about Snape as "Sev" - it immediately highlighted that while he acted as a father figure, he wasn't her father and it gives them a sort of friendship/cameraderie which works quite well.
I have to say, I found your Snape a bit OOC. Particularly when he told her who her parents were. I mean, from the way Snape reacts to Sirius in OotP, I really don't think he could be so blase about James. And the way he treats Harry shows it too - I mean, I know he sacrificed a lot for Harry, but he still can't seem to divorce him from his father. I suppose Rose being a girl and looking more like Lily would help, though. And I did like the bit when he said "that doesn't mean I haven't done bad things". That felt in character, particularly when he talked about Voldemort going after "you and your mother" and completely ignored Harry and James.
A few other small things - Peter was the Potters' secret keeper, so surely he would have known about their daughter? Also, if Rose has her mother's hair and eyes, surely Harry would have noticed it? Or Hermione, at least? Particularly the eyes - after all, there's a lot of redheads around, but almond-shaped bright green eyes are more unique. Anyway. That's just a small thing.
I also had to disagree with Rose's comment about Snape's behaviour towards Gryffindors - yes I know canon is presented from Harry's perspective, hence he's more likely to think Snape unfair, but I don't think McGonagall treats Slytherins the same way that Snape treats Gryffindors. In PoS, she takes 150 points from Gryffindor, and I can't think of a time when Snape takes more than 10 from Slytherin. I do understand your point - that people are quicker to punish the opposing team - but it just didn't feel right here. Anyway, sorry I just went on a lot about a small thing.
I think what you're trying to do is highlight Snape's redeeming features - and I think there are plenty of them - but when it goes against "truth" (or canon truth anyway) it feels like Rose is looking for ways to defend him or something.
Anyway, I hope you don't feel like this is a negative review, because I think this is an interesting and well-thought out plot and I'll certainly be reading on.
Author's Response: A) I don't think this is negative at all. In fact, it's awesome! This is the most anybody has said to me about my story, and I LOVE this kind of feedback, which I mostly salvage from my dad (who is also a writer, though not really in the fanfiction variety...) So just the length is enough to get me excited. Nobody else has really critiqued me that much. After fifty "THIS IS AWESOME"s, reviews like yours are refreshing. :) B) You were spot on with the allusions to Lily, and the Rose calls Snape "Sev". That was exactly my intention. I tried writing it with the word "Dad," and it immediately felt wrong. Nobody in a million years would ever call Snape Dad, or Daddy. It just isn't done. C) Snape is definitely out of character here. Part of the reason for that is, even though I posted the story a long time after the seventh book came out, I started writing this in middle school after I finished the seventh book. Snape's death and his memories gave me such a paradigm shift that I immediately started treating more like a tragic hero than a double agent, something my friends and I still argue about. The idea was that he skimmed over bashing Harry and James because he was sort of trying to protect Rose, although that doesn't make much sense now. I just figured he would want to get that part over with REALLY fast... D) I didn't even think about Peter until jut now- that's been happening a lot. I'll reread parts of my story and I'll think, "Oh, I could have done this!" Well spotted, you've been paying attention. As far as Harry goes, like I've said before, I don't set much store by Harry's intelligence. And Rose doesn't generally hang with Harry and Co, although I did think about Hermione figuring everything out at one point. In the end I decided not to. Mostly I'm relying on her being so caught up in Harry's adventures that she chalks up Rose's appearance to mere coincidence. E) As far as Rose's descriptions of Snape, you're absolutely right. I wanted her to ignore his faults, or at least to justify them, because I thought that would make her reaction to Dumbledore's murder so much bigger. I did that on purpose, even though I had qualms about it. I kept picturing her rolling her eyes and looking the other way whenever Snape took points from Gryffindor. I'm glad you think this is well thought out, and please feel free to review again (if you haven't already- I'm only just now catching up...)
Summary: Lily Evans finds herself disappointed when James Potter begins dating a new student during seventh year. A casual conversation about how to deal with it leads to unexpected consequences for her…and Sirius Black.
Wow!! That was really impressive. Dialogue-only fics must be really hard to write... and yet this was just fantastic. Sirius' characterisation was spot on, and I loved your interpretation of Lily. You managed to put so much of their characters and the setting into the dialogue... it was really amazing.
My favourite part was probably just after Sirius and Lily had 'broken up' and Lily tells Sirius that's he's a good person. It really showed development in both their characters and was written so well.
Just one small thing - a couple of times you've written "Juliannaa" instead of "Julianna".
Anyway, I'm totally in love with this fic!! It was very unique and your writing was brilliant.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! In some ways, dialogue only can be tricky, but I heard this so clearly in my head it was not that hard. I'm thrilled to hear the characterization came through just through their dialogue, because I could also see them saying this, but that descriptive narrative element is obviously missing and unable to contribute to the overall effect. Thanks for pointing out my typo, I think I've fixed them all. :) And thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate the amazing review for something I was a bit worried about! ~Gina :)
For someone who 'missed the screaming', Argus Filch was in his element the day the Carrows set foot into Hogwarts. Who knew that his kindred spirit had been walking the halls of the school for years already?
And it wasn't even Mrs Norris.
Thanks for such a quick response to my last review, I'm glad you like receiving them.
This is another fic of yours I read a while ago and didn't get to review... I think I wasn't quite sure what to think after my first reading of it. It is certainly disturbing and macabre... to the level that I usually expect Tom Riddle stories or something like that to be.
You have certainly done something fantastic with your characterisations here... and even though both Irma and Argus appear cruel and horrid, somehow you created a strange sort of empathy for them. I suppose I've felt that for Filch since we found out he was a Squib, and Madam Pince seems to be a rather lonely woman. Somehow I felt bad for them. Which is something really impressive to do as an author... because their behaviour in this fic is absolutely despicable. I suppose you're working on the theme that no-one is truly evil or truly good... that we all have both parts in us and sometimes circumstances can affect how we are.
The juxtaposition of them drinking tea - something that seems old-fashioned and friendly - with them listening to torture is just brilliant, particularly as it gives insight into their tortured minds.
Anyway, great fic, though certainly disturbing...
Hmm, this story was a dark, twisted baby, born of a rather hideous prompt for a fic exchange. I can't think of a pairing that I would want to write less than this one that doesn't involve Snape, so yeah... it is disturbing in that manner, as well.
The thing I've always thought about Filch and Pince is that they are rather pathetic people Filch gets walked over for a living by little bastards like Fred and George (which begs the question of whether the Marauders drove Apollyon Pringle to early retirement). Dumbledore seems to grant him some respect, but the bitterness about being surrounded by magic yet never being able to cast so much as a single spell would definitely eat at him. Plus, he probably wasn't all that nice to begin with. :/
And with Irma, I pictured her as a rather plain woman, likely not all that different from Snape's mother, Eileen. She is bookish and not very pretty and probably a bit standoffish. We havea pretty good idea, having been in school ourselves, what that does to one's social life. And when she chose a career that, whilst dealing with her true love in life, was essentially doing the same thing over and over -- putting back books that students mistreat and never return to their shelves -- it isn't unlikely that it would make her a bit... cross. And compile years of that and the stress of constant staff changes (and subsequent changes in curriculum, hence needing new stock for one thing or another) in the current school environs, I can see how she could take a llittle bit of pleasure out of one of the little rats that had made her job harder than it needed to be getting what was coming (in her view, not mine!).
And there you have now two not so nice people sip tea over the sound of a teenager being tortured. It was macabre, and not at all pleasant to write, but I was actualy surprised how un-sickened I was by the final product.
Thanks for dropping in again. I fear I may run out of stories for you to review soon, though. Venturing deep into my older fics is a dangerous business. I don't even do that, lol.
Well, anyway, ta for now!
Summary: It didn't seem fair to Seamus Finnigan that, whilst his friends were dead or damaged by their their seventh year at school and the Battle, so many Slytherins just got to carry on with their lives.
His efforts to redress that balance though got him in over his head in something far darker than he'd anticipated.
This was really good. Your characterisation of Seamus was great, and I was quite impressed with Pansy too. The whole revenge idea was great, and I could see how easily Seamus could buy into it considering what the war had done to him.
The ending line was beautiful, and in general I thought this was really well-written - especially the parts when Seamus was talking to a comatose Dean, so basically we were just reading Seamus' thoughts spelled out.
I was wondering - was Fletcher in anyway connected to Mundungus? Personally I didn't think Mundungus was quite like this in the books... too much of a coward... but it's probably just a coincidence with the naming.
Anyway, loved this fic!!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. My beta deserves a lot of credit for keeping me in line with Seamus' characterisation. I'm glad that you thought the parts talking to Dean worked, because I wanted to find a way to get Seamus' thoughts out without it becoming too introspective, and it's easier to be honest with someone who can't answer back. As for Fletcher, I actually missed the link completely, but maybe it's a relative. ;)
Summary: A short tale of the Marauder's friendship and its subsequent demise. Songfic based on "Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Originally written for the Musical Drabble challenge in the SBBC.
Winner of Best Marauder Era Story (one shot) in the Quicksilver Quills 2011!
I can't believe you managed to sum up the tragedy of the Marauders in less than 1000 words!! This was such an amazing piece of writing and characterisation... I can only say wow. At the very beginning, I found the writing style a little difficult, but then I got into it and it was so perfect for this fic.
Your characterisation of Peter was particularly stand-out, I think, especially as people tend to leave him out a bit in their fics.
Anyway... this was really amazing and I don't really have anything else to say... so I'll stop rambling...
Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing! I've been getting a lot of complements on Peter in particular, which is strange because I don't even like him myself...*random thoughts* Anyway, thank you so much again for taking the time to review.
Summary: Never tickle a sleeping dragon. This should be fairly obvious, but Godric Gryffindor, the bravest man in England, has never cared about the obvious.
So original! I'd never thought about translating the motto... although that might just be me. Anyway, I thought you characterised the founders really well (although, as some others have said, where was Helga?), especially Gryffindor, you showed him really well. I also thought you coped very well with the old-fashioned language - it didn't disrupt the flow at all and really added to the setting and characters. A very amusing and enjoyable read!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I didn't actually translate the motto-- the Mugglenet main site did. I tried to make the characterization real-- that's something I pride myself on. And as for the language, my mom's an English teacher, so I've studied a lot of Shakespeare. Again, thank you for reviewing!
Summary: Tom did love once; it just wasn't meant to last.This poem placed third in the February Apples and Oranges Challenge at Poetry Anyone. Features Tom Riddle/A Woman You All Know. DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K.Rowling. She wouldn't write this silliness.
This was really beautifully written! You captured Tom so well and your word choice and imagery was just perfect.
When my monster rises to glory,
My hatred fires my heart,
Thirst suffuses my soul. I think this was my favourite part - the way you showed a part of the Tom --> Voldemort transformation.
Initially I wasn't really sure who the woman was - I had to check the reviews to see if I was right! Anyway, Minerva was a really good choice and I can see how their characters would work together. It's very sad that he takes her memories at the end, but also so typical of Tom - I'm sure he wouldn't want anyone to know that he'd succumbed to the "weakness" of love.
As another reviewer said, sometimes I found the repetition a little too much... but otherwise this was a beautiful poem!!
Author's Response: Hello Katrina!
The locals in a sleepy corner of the Cheviot Hills are surprised to discover that they have new neighbours.
Who are the strangers at Drakeshaugh?
Nominated for: Best Post-Hogwarts (Chaptered) story - Quicksilver Quills 2011 and
Nominated for: Best Post-Hogwarts (Chaptered) story - Quicksilver Quills 2012
I'm really enjoying this story (as usual). Jacqui works well as a neighbour, as she is nosey but also kind and caring. It's interesting to present Harry and Ginny (and their family) from an "unknowing" perspective (meaning that the narrator doesn't know that they're wizards). It's a difficult topic to write, because there are just so many small things that we as readers are used to from canon, which to Jacqui seem strange, and I think you're handling it very well.
I'm very curious to see what happens next... I suspect Mary won't know what's hit her.
My favourite line in this chapter was Ginny's quick correction of "Flooed" to "Flew". It made me smile.
Sorry this isn't as long/detailed as my reviews usually are... I have to go now, but I'm sure I'll be back reviewing this rather soon.
Thanks for the review.
Itís confession time. When I planned this story, the ďmainĒ plot was going to be the werewolf murders, and Jacqui was going to be comic relief. I wrote the first two chapters from Jacquiís (first person) perspective simply to give an outsiders view of the Potters. Then the kids (particularly James and Henryówho, together, are trouble) got more involved, and I was enjoying myself, so I then wrote the third andÖ
Now Iíve got myself into the position where my narrator has no idea whatís really going on and Iím juggling the story to keep her perspective, while moving the werewolf plot forwards.
Itís fun throwing in the little oddities Jacqui notices, like the lack of electricity (and flooed), and Ginny almost saying Knutless instead of penniless. Next, Jacqui finds out what Harryís job really is!
Nevertheless, in the interests of the plot (unless I have a brainwave) there will have to be one or two third person chapters where Jacqui is absent. -N-
Wonderful chapter, Neil. I think I'm enjoying this story because although there's references to darker things (the werewolf, obviously), this story is really about Harry and Ginny and how they work as a family and how they're accepted into a community. I think you said in a previous response that there was meant to be more focus on the werewolf? This is just me, but I'm actually really enjoying what has happened, and I love Jacqui as a narrator. I loved all the speculation about Harry's job and "a nora".
Your characterisations are, of course, excellent, and I love the idea that Harry and Ginny behave like a young couple, not the parents of three children. I think that's very them. After all, they lost so much time together early on...
‘Do you think he’s a spy?’
‘James Bond, with glasses.’ That made me laugh. Okay, a lot of this chapter did. Very well-written and you handled the wizard/Muggle relations very well.
Thanks for the review Katrina
I originally intended that there would be more focus on the darker side of this story. Retaining Jacqui as a narrator has made that difficult. Iíve been busy re-planning this story to take into account the limitations and (I think) about one chapter in eight or nine will be third person Harry pov. Just to allow me to explain a few thinks that Jacqui canít possibly know. Iím a little worried that this might be a clunky mechanism, but I canít think of another way to do it.
James probably thought everyone knew that his daddy is a Nora.
I think that Harry and Ginny simply appreciate what they have. Iíve seen several stories where Harry is distracted from Ginny by work and I canít see that happening. Heíll learn to juggle and delegate. And, after all, he thought about Ginny constantly during the Horcrux hunt.
This chapter was supposed to make you laugh. I hope that the next one will, too. In it, Mike will learn the answer to a very important question. Does the redhead have a bikini?
Summary: Writer’s block is to stress as Dragon Pox is to sickness. And banter is to romance as Draco is to Ginny. Or something like that. I dunno. Put down something witty and then tell everyone I wrote it.
Wonderful, Lia. Just really, really creative, funny, clever, original, well-written, witty... need I say more?
I don't think I've ever read something quite like this, and I just love the resourcefulness of taking writer's block and trouble with characters and turning it into something as fabulous as this. I commend you on giving this a go, too, because I imagine that if not done well, it would really be a mess. So good job on being brave and trying something different.
Just a few little nitpicks - Draco should have left well enough alone and went back to sleep. - It should be "gone back to sleep".
On the chesterfield sits the blond and the redhead - it should be sit, because it's plural.
Anyway. Very minor things. Loved the fic. Oh yeah, I loved the uncertainty about whether or not the dream happened. Just added something extra to this already amazing fic.
Author's Response: Aww, *blushes* thank you. You're too kind. And thank you for pointing out the SPaG errors. ^_^ This fic was just one of those things I wrote whilst having writer's block, so it kind of worked out. Ha. I wrote the whole thing in less than a week, and the entire time I thought, 'This is crap, but it's fun!' Hehe. So, thank you so much for such a lovely review. It really made my day. It's always nice to hear that I wrote a creative fic. :D ~Lia
Summary: The times we've shared, the sacrifices we've made, and the love we've given each other are about to carry us through the most terrifying battle we have ever fought:
The battle to save each other, even though we know we will die together.
After all your lovely reviews, I think it's time I owe you one!
This story was really well-written, I especially loved your characterisation of Tonks. Her dialogue, particularly when she arrived at the battle and talked about saving Remus, was perfect for her.
I think you also did a good job with Remus - his feelings towards Tonks in this are typical, it shows how he's desperate to hang on to her as he has lost everything/one else in his life. Sometimes his dialogue didn't quite fit, though, such as calling Dolohov "Death Eater" and the line "I merely wish for you to stay safe" - this seems a little formal and thought out, I would have expected something more like "I want/need you to stay safe!"
The description of Remus holding Tonks' dead body was absolutely beautiful, and the idea that in the end, Remus welcomes death fits too, though he would never suicide, I think when he recognises the inevitable, he is no longer scared. I also loved how the ending line about the Marauders matched up with the memories at the beginning.
Great fic, Maddy,
Author's Response: Hello, Katrina!
Thank you so much for the high praise! Several people have pointed out the dialogue to me; I should have gone over it more carefully before submitting it since it's been two years since I've wrote it. A note on its unexpected formality - Remus has a difficult time recognizing his emotions (or so I believe from Jo's characterization of him). When he feels alone, frustrated, miserable, frightened, or simply desperate, I feel as if he has a very difficult time knowing what to say. But! I do completely agree with you that sometimes it just does not seem to fit.
With regards to his death - indeed, that is what I was attempting to show. One thing Remus is not short on is courage, and if he must die, then he will embrace with open arms. Everything he loved and lived for seems to precede him; when you don't have very much to live for, you won't suicide (as you said) but you will explore the life's next challenge, death.
Thank you so much for your comments and feedback, it feels lovely to receive such praise :). If I ever have the time, I plan to go back to this and edit the dialogue, because now that I'm really thinking about it, it sounds rather naÔve, since I was younger at the time. Again, I can't thank you enough! I simply hope that my writing can be as lovely as yours:).