Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
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Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione
 

A Black Family Christmas by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Past Featured Story

Sirius Black spends his last Christmas at Grimmauld Place.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Christmas Challenge, Prompt One.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 4292 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/15/10 Updated: 12/15/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/22/11 Title: Chapter 1: A Black Family Christmas

Beautiful! Your characterisation of Sirius was spot on - I can imagine him wanting to make the most of riling his family, particularly as he knows he won't be there to suffer the consequences.

His conversation with Regulus was sad - in a way I felt like hitting Regulus for so calmly accepting what his famil told him, but at the same time I sort of felt for him - the way you characterised him, it seemed that underneath he didn't agree with his family, but belonging somewhere was more important to him.

Bellatrix was deliciously cruel, though perhaps not quite as mad as we see her in canon. In fact, all the relatives were portrayed realistically - I liked the bit where Sirius sees his father raise an eyebrow the way he does. It was nice to see some similarity between Sirius and his family.

This is, in my humble opinion, the best line in this story: "Christmas at the Black house, he thought. It was like watching both a comedy and a tragedy at the same time." That's just so spot on, because the extreme lengths the Blacks go to and the way Sirius can rile them is comedic, yet it's tragic to know that this is his family.

So all in all, loved the fic :)

~Katrina

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the review, Katrina! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I'm especially glad you thought Sirius was okay, because at one point I lamented being able to write him. But I guess I just can't write that particularly story, since it's still unfinished on my laptop and this one was a quick and fun write. I'm not sure about Regulus, but I do like to think that they were brothers and that there would have been some sort of relationship between them. Hee hee, your favorite line is different than mine, but I'm glad that one stood out too! I wrote this story just so Sirius could say "Happy Christmas, b****." Isn't that crazy? One can only imagine what Azkaban did to Bellatrix in terms of really driving her over the edge. Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)

 

Catharsis by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary:

A war had raged; everyone had felt alone and afraid at some point. And when it was over, most people went back to business as usual, but two of those haunted souls found respite from the most unlikely of sources.

After all, who doesn't need a little bit of catharsis?



Categories: Draco/Other Character Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1620 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/17/10 Updated: 12/17/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/18/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really loved this fic! It's an unlikely pairing, but I really loved how you wrote it and drew these two characters together. Initially forged out of mutual need, this thing of theirs, it had been like dittany on both their souls after a year in hell, but it had outlived its purpose long before. - This was really beautifully written and really summed it up for me. I loved your exploration of Draco post-war, and the line Without a word, they entered the only establishment in town that would have him. really showed that well. Somehow it really succinctly demonstrated the wizarding world's lack of acceptance of Draco. Also the beginning scene seemed very IC for Draco, I could imagine him doing that.

I don't really have any criticism - because I thought this was amazing - except that I would have liked more. Perhaps more of the interactions between Draco and Katie, also perhaps you could have dealt with the cursed necklace a bit more. Personally I would have liked to have seen more of Katie, eg why she never married - was it because of Draco, after all those years? Or maybe you could have shown her interacting with her friends or something... I don't know, because I can see that at the same time this fic is meant to be centred on Draco and Katie.

Anyway, I think I'm rambling here... I hope this made sense. I really loved this fic though :).

Author's Response:

'Ello mate!

I'm glad you liked the story and wasn't thinking, "That crazy bint... what's she on?" What I wanted from this story was the idea that sometimes, people can be not so much friends but more like allies. We all have that one person with whom we share a lot of our secrets, and that person isn't always our own best friend. I sort of wanted that here, in the context that this relationship was never going to go anywhere further and it had always had an expiration date. To me, Katie didn't marry because she somehow thought that some miracle could happen and Draco might consider her, if just for a second, so she had to be available. However, by the time he was off the market, she had moved on past her desire to be with anyone. It's a myth that everyone wants to be in a relationship, because I myself have seen otherwise. That's where Katie ended up.

As for more interaction... well, those are their secrets. They wouldn't tell them to anyone else, so why would they share them with complete strangers like us? ^_^

Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

~Jess

 

Doubt by lucca4
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Past Featured Story

In the midst of the war, the Marauders and Lily have joined the Order, resolute in their decision to fight for justice. But times are hard, and soon, even the strongest of loyalties begin to wear thin.

This is lucca4 of Gryffindor writing for the final in the MWPP class on the Beta Boards.

Nominated for a 2011 QSQ - Best Marauder era Story


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity

Word count: 3742 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/20/10 Updated: 12/20/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Doubt

Hi Ariana,

Fantastic, brilliant, amazing story. I think it was really good the way you showed the Marauders falling apart, and yet throughout there was a sense of what had been. The individual scenes with each of the Marauders were so well-written, and just so perfectly in character. Remus seemed tired and sick of what life had dealt him, thought still resolute. Sirius was witty and always had a comeback ready, and yet even he couldn't be arrogant about this situation (I loved the last line in that part, about how he couldn't protect his friends.) Peter was lonely and I think you did something interesting here, as he seems to feel betrayed by the others, as they treat Lily like one of them etc. It's a nice parallel with what happens later. Lily's doubt was really great - obviously, as a reader, we knew she would make the choice to fight, but it was interesting to see her thought processes, which would be entirely realistic.

The way you tied everything in with the last bit about there being a traitor was great too - particularly as the first people to be 'accused' were Remus and Sirius, and Peter wasn't even mentioned.

Your writing was just perfect in this story. I particularly loved your dialogue, which is always hard to write - it showed so much character.

I also think the concept for this story was very good, as it shows how love and friendship can break down when doubt comes into play, particularly when it's caused by a war like this. I think for this reason that my favourite part was the interaction between Sirius and Remus, because of all the characters, I think they're the least trusting of each other, and it really shows how this lack of trust comes between their friendship.

So, great story, I really loved it :).

~Katrina

Author's Response: Oh! Thank you for this lovely review! This is my least favorite part about the Marauder-era, the part where their friendship begins to unravel and they all start to grow apart a little. I'm so happy you thought the characterization was all right. I struggled with that before, I think, and that's why I decided to take the class, so I'm glad it showed! But what I keep forgetting to mention, and what I think helped me just as much as the class, was the fact that Jess beta'd this story so well and gave such perfect advice as to how to make this story work. Without her, this story would not be remotely intelligible. Thanks again! xx Ariana

 

Not Broken by lucca4
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

It’s Christmas 1998, but Susan Bones doesn’t feel like celebrating. The loss of both her best friend and her favorite aunt have created wounds that might never heal. But with the help from a most unlikely person, she may be able mend what has broken, and gain a little Christmas spirit as well.

This story is for Gen/Sagen for the Gryffindor Christmas Craziness Secret Swap! Have a wonderful Christmas, Gen!

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations

Word count: 1869 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/21/10 Updated: 12/21/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Not Broken

I loved the ending! So sweet! I was worried for a while that you weren't going to get them together... Anyway, it was a really different pairing and I loved how you drew them together. I especially liked how you explored Theodore's emotions about his father's death, and how in the end you let both characters be able to move on.

Author's Response: Ooh, thank you for this absolutely lovely review! I was unsure how to write this couple at first, as I never really pictured them together, but I'm glad you liked it and thought it worked :). Thanks so much for taking the time to review! xx

 

Counting the Ways by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary:

For over four years, Dean Thomas had been sending his polite regrets to his mum, begging off of coming home for Christmas. But when he sensed discord in the most recent letter from his Muggle family, he decided that he needed to stop making excuses and start counting his blessings.

What he found when he got there, however, proved to be more than just a simple family gathering.

 

This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story



Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 9883 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/21/10 Updated: 12/21/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi Jess,
Fantastic story!! I was so into it by the end that I wanted to hear more... your characters were fascinating in that they were really just normal people dealing with normal things. You drew them very realistically. I particularly liked your attention to detail with Dean with things like his smoking and the way he counted everything - they made him seem real rather than just a character on a page.

The various plots - of Dean's father and Connie etc - tied in so well with what Dean was going through and really added to this story... and even though it's nearly 10 000 words, it didn't feel long at all!

Just a small nitpick - in the third paragraph (which starts Even there, on the calm, peaceful beach that spoke to him...), I think you should have written it in pluperfect, ie "peaceful beach that had spoken to him" etc, because this story is written in past tense and you're telling an event before that. If that makes sense. Anyway, it didn't detract from the story at all... I'm just a bit of a freak when it comes to grammar sometimes.

Anyway, this was a great fic, really well written, with great characters and great attention to detail that almost made me believe that somewhere this was actually happening.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

Hello again, Katrina! Have I ever mentioned how much I love your reviews? 'Cause I doand so do a lot of my MNFF friends. Keep up the amazing work, because reviews like yours is what keeps us going, pumping out fic after fic.

The one thing I wanted from this fic is for someone to read it and think, "Hey, this could be my friend or my neighbour or someone I don't even know who I passed on the street." There is something humanising about not knowing fully who you are and where you came from, and I really wanted the reader to empathise with Dean in this respect. This could be any family going through it, and without the magic, it could be so universal a mini-crisis.

Thanks for stopping in, and I'm glad you liked the story. It gave me fits, so it's nice to know my repeated headdesking paid off.

~Jess

 

Teenage Witch by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: The Yule Ball of 1994 is a hugely exciting time for all the teenage witches at Hogwarts, but for the Muggle Studies teacher, Charity Burbage, it looks to be a depressing time. With the only available wizard the sour Severus Snape, she has no chance of finding a partner. And when Septima Vector informs her that The Weird Sisters are booked to play, Charity's mind becomes a blur. It had been six years since she last saw Myron. And in those six years, he's become a star.

Will Myron Wagtail remember Charity?

And does she want him to?

I am Equinox Chick from Hufflepuff and this is my entry in the Great Hall Christmas Challenge (prompt 2)

If you've read Mere Wisps of Light, then you'll know that Charity Burbage was very reticent about her Yule Ball romance when talking to Draco. This is why. The stories are linked, but it is not essential to read one to understand the other.

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this fic are the creation of JK Rowling, with the exception of Gerard Bonbon who is my own creation.

The song, Teenage Witch, isn't real, but I'm guessing that Simon Cowell would like me to join his songwriting team.

Finally, thank you very much to Natalie (hestiajones) for beta'ing this story. I owe you so much!

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 4932 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/24/10 Updated: 12/24/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/08/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was really unique, firstly, and also really well written. I loved how you explored Charity's character - her loneliness, her feelings of how she'd aged - it made a lot of sense and you depicted her really well in this short snapshot. I also thought the ending was great - you didn't go for the fluffy happily-ever-after, but it still had a nice conclusion.

I also loved the song... I assume you wrote the lyrics? It was really fitting and brought the story together really well. I also loved how you made small references to canon characters, such as the fourth-year Gryffindors or Fred, George and Angelina, which seemed very fitting for a teacher.

So yeah... I really loved this fic. I don't think I've read a lot of your stories, although I've seen your name around before, so I'll probably be back writing more reviews soon, if this is anything to go by.

Just a small typo I noticed, near the end you've written "A one night stand, a moments pleasure..." when it should say "a moment's pleasure".

Anyway, great fic!!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review (and for pointing out the typo which I shall fix forthwith). This is a companion piece to one I wrote called Mere Wisps of Light which is about Draco really, but features Charity. I did write the lyrics, but that was relatively simple because I only had to write that one verse.

Thanks again for the review and I'm pleased you enjoyed the story. ~Carole~

 

A Visit From Father Christmas by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Past Featured StoryTeddy Lupin decides to dress up as Father Christmas and surprise his family at the Burrow. Before returning to the party, he receives his own visit, as well as an enigmatic gift that may or may not decide his future.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Christmas Challenge, Prompt Three.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3086 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/24/10 Updated: 12/24/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/22/11 Title: Chapter 1: A Visit From Father Christmas

I really enjoyed this fic! I know it was written a while ago, but I was on your author page and it caught my eye. The ending was quite unexpected!

There were a lot of things I liked about this. Firstly, I loved your Teddy. There was a lot of Remus' giving nature and Tonks' creativity and bubbliness in him, yet he remained his own person. I loved the excitement you showed in the fic too, and Teddy's enthusiasm was almost catching.

Great job with Harry's kids too, I loved Lily particularly - she's at that wonderful stage where anything is believeable. Albus acted like a typical middle child - wanting to be 'grown up' like his older brother, but still wanting to share in the fun of toys like his little sister. And I just loved the dialogue between James and Teddy - you almost had me convinced there!

Just a little note - one time you wrote "Domonique" when it should be "Dominique".

I loved the idea that you made Father Christmas real in this fic, particularly as you started out with Teddy pretending. It was a nice twist to the fic. And I can totally imagine Teddy becoming a future Father Christmas; he's so selfless and sweet.

I think something else I loved about this is that you showed the Potter/Weasley clan having fun together. To be honest, I get a little bit sick of the stories in which their family is falling apart - I mean, I know it's not realistic that they live 'happily ever after', but I'm sure there were moments like this when everyone was perfectly happy.

Anyway, I will refrain from going on too much... loved the story :)

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks so much Katrina! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. This is not the first time I've written about Father Christmas as a wizard, because I quite like the idea. I'm glad you enjoyed the fluff factor, since it is a bit fluffy but yes, there are a number of stories out there where the next generation does fall apart. It makes for good drama, I think. No worries, I have a plot bunny that tortures them too, lol. ;) Thanks so much for reading this holiday story and leaving such a lovely review! ~Gina :)

 

Dark Requiem by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary:

The irony does not escape Severus Snape as he seeks to gain the favour of the Dark Lord on, of all nights, Christmas. The spectres of days dead and gone spur him on to complete his mission, but can the fond memories stop him from committing an unspeakable act?

 

This story has been nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Marauder Era Story.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3423 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/10 Updated: 12/25/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow!! This was so good... Your characterisation of Severus was really good, and I liked that you showed a really loathsome side to him (so often people write Snape pity stories, and while they're not necessarily bad, it was nice to see another side of him, which must have existed). First person was perfect for this story, because it is very introspective and very much about Snape's entire character, not just this short part of his life.

I thought your portrayal of Voldemort was also very interesting. I liked the fact that he respected Snape's abilities and didn't probe fully into his mind when he possibly coud have. I think that really sets up the relationship that we see in HBP and DH.

So yeah... I can't think of anything bad to say, this was soooo amazing!!!

Author's Response:

I will tell you, writing an entire story inside Snape's head is daunting. Writing his mannerisms and dialogue is difficult enough, but to think as he thinks was a complete bear. I'm just happy I finished it on time, because it turned out to be even more challenging than I'd projected. I'm glad you enjoyed that aspect of it.

To me, Voldemort was the prototypical spawn of Slytherin. Yes, he values blood purity, loyalty, and cunning, but he also admires excellence and skill. He is also the consummate manipulator, making his subjects bend to his will and conform to his agenda without them even realising it, and few ever do (namely Regulus). It was interesting to work with a mind like that.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thanks for reading/reviewing. :D

~Jess

 

The Proposal by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Oliver Wood was living on another planet from the way he'd planned his life after Hogwarts to turn out, virtually homeless and definitely penniless, but when he finds himself pulling pints at The Three Broomsticks on Christmas Day, a visitor comes and reminds him of how much different things could have been.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 3115 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/10 Updated: 12/25/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Great story!! Firstly, I think you did an amazing job of Ludo's character - everything he did/said could have come straight out of canon. I also thought your Oliver was great - it seemed very IC that he wouldn't have thought of any other path in life other than Quidditch and that things might come crashing down if that didn't work out.

Once again, your writing was really good. I absolutely loved the first line - it gave such a sense of character, setting and mood really efficiently.

From reading the summary, I sort of expected a romance kind of story (especially knowing that you're fond of Katie/Oliver), so it was really different to write what you did.

Author's Response:

I think, with all the sports that are in the peak of their seasons at this time of year, I was sort of inspired by that and how so many college football players bank on their all-encompassing 'Communications' major instead of taking real classes to build a career, fooling themselves into thinking that they wlll make it big. I sort of had Oliver pegged as that type, more concerned with Quaffles than study. This was just a 'it could have happened' type deal. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing,

~Jess

 

Defiance by lucca4
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Past Featured Story

Nearly eighty years have passed since the Battle of Hogwarts, yet Padma Patil cannot banish the string of tragic memories from her mind. A part of her still holds onto them as a way to see the faces of those she has lost once more.

Her memories tell the story of a young woman too afraid to fight against Voldemort’s regime. Throughout her final year at Hogwarts, Padma had been forced to choose between defying the Death Eaters and keeping her loved ones safe. Her decision is one that will ultimately haunt her for the rest of her life.

Nominated for a 2011 QSQ - Best Dark/Angsty Story

I am lucca4 of Gryffindor and this is my final for the Missing Moments class on the MNFF Beta Boards.

** indicates a line taken directly from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pages 659-660

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 8656 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/26/10 Updated: 12/28/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/28/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a really interesting story. Your characterisation of Padma was really great - from what little we see of her in the books, she really fitted that and you added to her. I really liked the perspective - as in, not wanting to fight, just wanting to survive - as we don't see that in canon ever really (it's not as if Harry was every not going to fight...). Anyway. The ending was beautifully sad. I also liked how you didn't make the romance the centre of this story, but instead used it to develop her character more and that sort of thing. It was definitely an interesting twist to have Padma end up blind, I thought that was very interesting.

Just a query about your opening - you talk about her remembering the "golden years of her past", and even though you then go on to explain that they often cause her pain, it didn't really sit quite right with me...

Anyway, great fic, it was a good portrayal of a different perspective! And also very tragic, especially the part that Padma never managed to move on.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review this story :). I'm glad you thought Padma was alright, and that you didn't think the ending was too horribly sad. As horrible as it sounds, I think that part was the easiest for me to write. About the opening…the "golden years" that Padma remembers cause her pain because although they symbolize everything wonderful that happened in her life, they are also a reminder that everything has changed, and she has lost everything of meaning to her. Again, thanks so much for this review! xx Ariana

 

Merry Christmas, James by Sapphire at Dawn
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: James Potter's 'aquaintance' with Lily Evans has been somewhat turbulent, but as things get a little smoother between the pair during their seventh year, James looks back at their beginnings.

This is for the Gryffindor Christmas Craziness swap. Merry Christmas, Andi!

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 2514 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/28/10 Updated: 01/08/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 03/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi,

I thought this was a really sweet one-shot... I was so into it, I sort of wished that it was longer!

Some of my favourite things about it were that James' attraction to Lily happened gradually and wasn't simply a physical thing, and that they were actually 'friends' of sorts when they were younger. I think that's quite realistic.

I also liked how you delved into James' character - the idea that he only really became arrogant after a Quidditch victory at the end of fourth year and then exacerbated the effect by trying to impress Lily, and then having it become a habit which he could hide behind was nice and unique. You've shown a mature side to James, without making him at all out of character.

I also liked that it was Lily who gave James a kiss on the cheek, and that at that point James didn't suddenly sweep her into a big romantic kiss... somehow it's much sweeter and more realistic this way. And I think it shows their emotional/mental connection, rather than just the physical side, which a lot of fanfictions tend to get caught up in.

So anyway, this was a nice fluffy one-shot but also with some nice characterisation and something a bit different. Oh yeah, good job with the other Marauders too!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for the review! You've picked up on everything I hoped to convey, which is really great. I'm currently writing a chaptered fic that carries on where the first part of this fic left off and continues throughout their fifth year, which hopefully will explore the deteriation of their relationship a bit more, so it does continue. Sort of! Once, again, thank you so much for reviewing. Sarah x

 

Never Too Late For Love by thesmart1
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Lily didn't believe people could change. When she is finally broken out of her way of thinking when she sees change before her eyes, how can she let a certain boy know that she understands? Does he even still like her? ... Or is it too little, too late? *One-Shot*

Over a thousand reads! Thanks guys!

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3464 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/29/10 Updated: 12/30/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/30/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a very sweet story, and I thought you did a pretty good job of characterising Lily and James, especially Lily. I liked how it took her longer to mature than James, because she's always thought she was the mature one.

I also thought that having their best friends start dating was a good idea, however I would have liked to have seen more of Lily and Pilar's relationship. Although the narrator explained that their differences had never caused them a problem, it seemed to me that Pilar irritated Lily a bit and they didn't seem really close.

I also thought the last sentence was a little superfluous - I know it tied back in with the title and the main idea, but you had already made that point through James' dialogue, and I would have preferred the previous line as the last one (although that's just my opinion!).

I liked that Lily overheard Lacey and Alice's conversation, that was a great plot device, but Alice didn't sit quite right with me. I know she never appears in canon (well at least, not properly), but as she was Neville's mum, this kind of gossipy side didn't quite fit, I thought. But obviously it's possible that she matured a bit later or something.

So anyway, great job, especially for your first fic :).

Author's Response: Do you know, the points you bring up are things I considered; Pilar didn't irritate Lily because she was very sweet, and Lily was fond of her, an almost mothering tendency I'd gleaned about Lily's character. However, you're right, Pilar did annoy LIly a little. I did think the story was long enough without putting additional scenes with Pilar and Lily, though. I had so many issues deciding on the last line! You're quite right, the second last would have worked quite as well. I went with the one I had because it tied back to the title, although you're right, it does sound superfluous seeing as it is in James' dialogue. I was trying to feature an Alice that was a teenaged girl, so yes she was a little bit gossipy, although I tried to counter that by making her seem like she was genuinely happy for her friend. Lacey was supposed to be rather dislikeable, but if Alice was as nice and loyal as I pictured her, she wouldn't spot that. Since Lily had always seemed to hate James, Alice wouldn't have thought it was hurting her. Lacey was jealous of James' attention on Lily, so she would have had a vindictive pleasure that James might be interested in Lacey and not Lily. Thank you for your review, it's quite helpful ! It is my first fic after all, so I'm glad you think I did a good job. -Maddy

 

There She Is by Half_BloodPrincess
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: There she is. Right there, laying on the bed next to me.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations

Word count: 955 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/02/11 Updated: 01/09/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: Right There.

I'm assuming that I is Rodolphus, she is Bellatrix, he is Voldemort and it is her dark mark. The only thing is... I always thought Bellatrix had wild hair, not silky soft hair (although that could just be the movies... Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal of Bellatrix isn't exactly forgettable...). And I did find it a little weird that at some point Voldemort shared Rodolphus & Bellatrix's bed, not because Bellatrix wouldn't want it, but because I can't imagine Voldemort wanting that sort of contact with people.

Anyway, I loved this fic!! Your writing was beautiful, and you captured Rodolphus so well. It must have been hard being married to Bellatrix when clearly her whole life was poured into Voldemort. So great job there!!

Author's Response: Go you for getting the people :) And yes, in the films Bellatrix does have wild hair, but I'm pretty sure her hair isn't mentioned in the books. Personally, I've always thought of her as stunningly beautiful, but with a completely warped mind, so it would be impossible to tell her insanity until she said, or did something odd. And anyway, she's supposed to be a perfect pureblood wife, like her sister Narcissa, so it wouldn't be a huge stretch of the imagination that she would be expected to be beautiful. As for the bed sharing, I would imagine for that to have been in Voldemort's first rise to power, when he was Tom Riddle. In this time period, he would still have an attractive body, because let's face it, if you looked like the film Voldemort, wouldn't you have low self confidence? Much thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it :)

 

Constant Vigilance by floatingcloudbadger
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: The people in the Burrow learn of Mad-Eye's death, and Tonks reminisces over their time together.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 852 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/03/11 Updated: 01/04/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: Constant Vigilance

I think this is a great idea for a fic, and I loved the scene in the middle between Tonks and Moody - it really showed a beginning for the relationship between them that we see in canon.

I think you have a canon error - at the beginning, you said that "If Tonks had just been one year younger, he would have been her teacher". This isn't technically correct - Tonks was in the same year as Charlie, who graduated before Harry started, so she would have had to have been 3 years younger to have been taught by Remus. I also found it a little strange that you never used Remus' first name. I know often in canon he is referred to by his last name, but that is because the books are basically Harry's perspective and for him Remus is a former teacher.

Those are just small things though, I really did enjoy this. "They had all known this might happen, and they were all willing to die in order to defeat Voldemort. But when Tonks thought about Moody, and the kind of man he was – he shouldn’t have died like that. He should have died where everyone could have seen and applauded him – not where his death would have to be covered up. Not where the Order had to go and rescue his body to stop the Death Eaters taking it." - I really loved that paragraph and how it showed both Moody's and Tonks' characters.

The only other thing is that I wish it had been a little longer. Perhaps you could have showed us more interaction between Tonks and Moody or something?

Anyway, great fic, I really enjoyed this :).

 

Penned in Vain by Liandrin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: “How vain is it to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live?” - Henry David Thoreau

A collection of Post Hogwarts drabbles featuring the Slytherin loner, Theodore Nott.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 11503 Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/06/11 Updated: 05/01/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/01/11 Title: Chapter 2: The Journey

This is a very interesting look at Theodore, who I think is an interesting character, because he is the loner, and we see so little of him in the books, but we know that he didn't join in the Battle, which makes him interesting to me.

In the first chapter, I loved the idea that he'd wanted a career change and gone to work for The Quibbler. It's logical, too, because Luna wouldn't be concerned about prejudice. I know it must have been hard to include all the prompts... but bits of it just didn't flow quite right to me. I don't know, the bit about Luna's shoes just seemed a little contrived and didn't really seem to have any purpose... but on the whole, it was a great start with excellent characterisation. Oh and the writing at the beginning was absolutely beautiful.

I'm sorry to say that this chapter also seemed a little disjointed, although somehow I think it worked a little better. I'm hoping you explain more of this in the later chapters, though, particularly about the woman, because it was written so well but I was a little confused. I loved the line about painting the sky any colour you want... also you set up some very interesting family dynamics in the flashbacks, particularly contrasted with Theo being alone at the funeral in the first chapter.

Your imagery and use of language is absolutely beautiful, and I love your characterisations, but the plot just seems a little disjointed/jumpy at this point. But great story :).

~Katrina

Author's Response: Yes, unfortunately, I can't post one drabble at a time - as it would probably make more sense. This was part of a challenge, where we were given a prompt (and extra challenge) once a week. I do believe I'm the only one who followed a linear narrative - and completed all twenty prompts. Heh. So, think of all the drabbles as vignettes, snap-shots in time. I probably shouldn't have included the challenge for the sake of it, but I was greedy for the extra points. ^_~ As the "story" moves along, you'll find that I care less about the challenges and just write. (The plot will seem to leap forward a lot, though.)

Thank you for the review. I'll have to try my hand at a one-shot of Theodore some time soon. ^_^

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/01/11 Title: Chapter 3: Going Home

I hope you didn't find my previous review negative. In fact, after reading this chapter, I almost feel like taking it back, because somehow after this chapter everything begins to make sense and doesn't feel disjointed anymore. But I guess I was just telling you how it felt at the time...

Anyway. I loved this chapter. You write Theo being uncomfortable thrust back into this world so well, particularly in how he has become a celebrity and something of a heartthrob. It sort of makes me think of how uncomfortable neville would be with the fame of his heroism post Battle. Anyway.

The idea that Daphne had used his poetry for her vows was wonderful. Just such a great connection between them, that's there despite being nothing like what Theo dreams it to be.

A few things - as far as I know, it's "Witch Weekly", not "Witches Weekly". And at one point you wrote "decent" when I'm pretty sure you meant "descent" (when Theo went to meet Draco and Astoria).

Luna is very in character, you write her very well. And I loved the house elves, and the way you showed that Theo has changed from the way his parents behaved. (As in, in the difference between Kip and Gracie.)

Lovely story,

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you so much for spotting those typos. All fixed now. :D And, I'm glad you liked the drabbles from this chapter. It's the beginnings of Theo slowly breaking from his shell, and you'll soon see how well he deals with rejection (from Daphne).

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It's nice to see someone invest themselves in the characters and pick up on all the little nuances that I tried to add. ^^

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/02/11 Title: Chapter 5: Love Found

I loved the letter to Pride. Really ingenious and quirky and funny and clever. I also love the idea that he's fallen for Luna. The way you've presented the two of them here, they just work so well together. It's not a pairing I would have thought of, but you've really made it work.

I also like the nickname Teddy - somehow it's softer and more innocent than Theo or Theodore (or perhaps that's just because it makes me think of Teddy Lupin).

Anyway, despite my first review, I'm really enjoying this fic, and in the last few chapters you've worked the prompts really well and it hasn't felt disjointed. Great work :).

~Katrina

Author's Response: When I was first writing this story, I'd receive a new prompt each week, so I never truly knew where I was going with the story. I had never intended for Luna and Theo to be a couple, but she just sort of became his rock, and it felt natural to make him slowly fall in love with her. Plus, I totally understand how the beginning seemed disjointed. Like I mentioned earlier, I was too focused on literally fulfilling each prompt and bonus, but, as you saw, as the story progressed, it sort of took a life of its own outside of the prompts. So, thank you for sticking with it. ^_^

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 05/02/11 Title: Chapter 6: Life Rekindled

Well I have to say, you really did a fantastic job of completing all the challenges and prompts. I particularly loved how you used the "fairy tales are true", because that just flowed so naturally as something Luna would do to tell him that she's pregnant.

Life, however, cannot be lived in passing shadows, secluded in libraries and schools. Escapism is a wonderful fantasy in theory, but life catches up with you eventually. Your past revisits you, haunts you, will never let you rest… How well-written and how true. To me, that really shows how Theo has changed throughout the fic. I loved the reference to the dream again, as well, and the idea of coming full circle. It gives this fic a sense of completion.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Ha! Thank you. I'm so glad you saw the quirkiness in Luna. At first, I wasn't sure how to use the prompt without sounding cliché, but then I just remembered how unorthodox Luna is, like her response to Theo's proposal. Heh. Also, I'm quite pleased that you got the feeling that Theo has not only changed but come full circle. I must admit that I had a lot of fun writing these prompts, although they can be challenging, but now I look forward to writing something "big" in the future, featuring my new favourite person, Teddy Nott. ^_^

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing all the drabbles and keeping at it. I really appreciate it. ~Lia

 

The Other Potter by georgeisholey
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 185]

Summary: My name is Rose Evans. My parents were Lily and James Potter, and Harry Potter is my twin brother, though he didn't know. I was raised by Severus Snape. This is my story.

RECENTLY NOMINATED FOR 2011 QSQ BEST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!! Thank you, grangergirl35!!

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 40897 Chapters: 17 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/09/11 Updated: 06/21/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/04/11 Title: Chapter 2: In Hiding, BRB

Sorry that it's taken me so long to read more of this story. I also only got your response from my last review today, as my inbox decided to put it in my junk folder, which I don't check regularly. Anyway.

A few points from your response - I agree, I don't think Harry would make a connection between Rose and himself, but I would be surprised if Hermione didn't, but I suppose with school and everything Harry gets up to I suppose she's rather busy.

Also Snape - I think in a way he is a bit of a tragic hero, and people often view him in that way, but at the same time he did treat Harry terribly and refused to see anything other than his father in him. I read the other day that Potter fans have voted him their favourite character, which I suppose makes sense, since he's probably the character with the most depth in the series. Anyway, I digress. I think it's interesting that Rose is blind to how Sev acts, such as the line Honestly, it wasn't favoritism; Sev was above that sort of thing.... I think this is interesting, because it really highlights how two peoples' perspectives on one person and their actions can vary greatly. For example, Snape sees Harry as arrogant and mediocre because it's what he expects, other teachers see something different. It makes you wonder how accurate Harry's presentation of all the characters in canon is...

I liked the awkwardness between Rose and Sev when she left his house - as in that they're both awkward with showing emotion.

I think it's interesting every time you write the words "my brother", because in a way, there's so much more to being siblings than biological relationship, and I get a feeling of sadness for Rose, particularly with that scene at the end, that she's never been able to talk to her brother and share her life with him.

I also liked how you sort of paralleled Rose and Harry's experiences with Apparition - both going Side-Along with Dumbledore and having a similar feeling afterwards.

~Katrina

Author's Response: YAY! I'm so glad you're back reviewing me again, I'm loving the super-long in depth stuff you're telling me! It's like Author Heaven... Yeah, I was counting on Hermione being too busy with Harry to pay much attention to Rose. As for the Snape-Rose relationship, again, that's exactly what I was going for. Rose turns a blind eye to Severus as much as she can- and who can blame her? The man raised her, after all. Keep in mind that that makes Rose about as biased as Harry's presentation is. That's why she's so clueless about Snape as a villain. Awkward Moments are my specialty, having participated in several over the course of my fifteen years. :) Again, with the "my brother" thing- spot on! And I put in Side-Along Apparition as a bit of comic relief. :) Glad you're liking this!

 
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 09/04/11 Title: Chapter 3: Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts

Even though this story is essentially another perspective on the events of HBP (well sofar, anyway), I think you do really well at not making it repetitive, because Rose's perspective is so different. I like the way she pre-empts things that Harry does (eg shout when Dumbledore announces Snape as DADA teacher), because from her side it's almost as if he's a friend, but he doesn't particularly know who she is.

Valentine seems to be an interesting character - she makes me think a little of Theodore Nott, the other Slytherin loner. She's not technically on the class list, but that's not really canon and obviously you're not using anyway because neither Rose nor Sammy are on it. Anyway.

I didn't really like the ending of this chapter, for a few reasons - firstly, I thought it unlikely that Rose and Sammy would have been leaving the village at precisely that time, and secondly they didn't seem very affected by what happened. She screamed and moaned and writhed, but Hagrid picked her up and carried her off, and the other four students trailed after him. I don't think this really describes what it would have been like to watch this event, even from a distance... I think it would have been more terrifying.

Also, Sammy clearly doesn't know who brought Rose up - but surely Rose must have told her something...

I couldn't change what Sev brought upon himself. I thought this was an interesting line, because sofar in this fic Rose has completely defended Sev, so it's interesting that her attitude has changed somewhat.

Rose's comments about Hermione also make me smile, and I think they're true.

~Katrina

Author's Response: "From her side, it's almost as if he's a friend, but he doesn't particularly know who she is." ~You have been paying attention! I like to picture Rose watching from the sidelines all through school, cheering Harry on through everything that happens to him. She's been watching him- hopefully not in a creepy way, hee hee. Valentine was almost a total accident. She built more and more as I wrote the story, and she's become one of my favorites. As for the whole thing with the locket, you have to keep in mind that A) I'm still learning a lot about writing, and B) this was one of the chapters I wrote at one o' clock in the morning (I'm a slave to inspiration...). But you're absolutely right, I did skim over book six Moments almost too much. I just wanted to get through the repeat and get on with Year Seven. Also- yeah, she told Sammy something, it just wasn't necessarily the truth. I think it's mentioned a bit later... Pay attention to Rose's thoughts on Snape, you're on the right track there. And Rose's comments about Hermione are pretty much the same as mine. Remember, Rose is basically me, only tweaked a bit. :) Review again soon!!

 
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