Penname: The_Real_Hermione [Contact]
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Member Since: 07/14/10
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Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).

I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.

I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.

Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
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Reviews by The_Real_Hermione
 

Forever Entwined by lucca4
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary:

“Love and hate are such strong words, they also cause so much pain.”

From the first time Rose Weasley saw Scorpius Malfoy on the Hogwarts Express, she knew they were fated to be enemies. At least, that was the plan. But as the years went on, she found that it was easier said than done. The gap between who she was and who her family wanted her to be was always widening. Her life becomes a tangled web of mistakes and regrets as she finds herself drawn to the one boy she was told to hate, until finally she makes a choice. A choice that might have just lost her the only one who had always been there for her…

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 4091 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/02/10 Updated: 11/07/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: Forever Entwined

I really liked how you developed Rose's character... I think that's the best thing about this fic. Showing all the small scenes over her years at Hogwarts was perfect, it really showed her growing up and changing, but still staying the same. I thought Scorpius would have been more angry or hurt or something at the end, though. Rather than just kissing her, perhaps they would have argued or something first? Otherwise I thought you did a really good job of him.

So yeah, great story, I enjoyed it a lot :).

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked Rose's characterI'll probably write more of her later simply because I feel like I got to know her so well after writing her through the years. With Scorpius's reactionhe sees that Rose is truly remorseful, and that she's really worried that she's too late, and doesn't want to hurt her or push her away when she's finally opening up to him. Afterward they'll probably have a more serious discussion. Thanks again, so much! xx Ariana

 

Excruciatingly Painful by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, five men deal with remorse, yet in completely different ways. It affects the soul, mentality and even the body. This poem explores the way these five men cope with wrong actions and the guilt that follows it.

By the way, I'm not J K Rowling. I doubt you're surprised. All reviews receive a response!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 439 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/03/10 Updated: 11/06/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Remorse

This was a really interesting idea, to link all these different characters together. Your five different definitions of it were very interesting and appropriate, and it was easy to tell which characters you were writing about (though I thought Ron's paragraph was Severus for a bit... it's a pity he wasn't in here in a way, because he certainly feels a lot of remorse). Anyway, I'm not usually a massive poetry fan so I can't really comment on the structure/rhyming etc., but it did seem to flow well. Your word choice was great too, really appropriate (I almost laughed when you used "wormed" in Peter's stanza). I also liked how you brought the title into the last stanza. So anyway... sorry this isn't a particularly great review... but great poem!

Author's Response: Thanks for another one of your lovely reviews! I'm really chuffed you like my poem. It's the only one on my story list which has less than five reviews, sadly. Still, I'm happy you reviewed it and told me what you think. I don't know how on earth it got into my head, the whole concept of it, but I'm glad it did because--without trying to sound arrogant or anything--I did like my poem. I don't know--am I allowed to like it? I'm not sure. Anyway, you're completely right; Snape should've been there, but I'll admit that I completely shut him out simply because I hate him, despite what he did for Harry and everything. I don't know, maybe I'm like Harry, in that I don't care what he's done, he's still an overgrown bat :P I'm glad you liked my word choice and that you thought it flowed--that's usually a problem with poems for me. And...you almost laughed when I said "wormed"? Well, it wasn't exactly my intention but I did think it was appropriate given his name. And this entire thing really started when--I remember now--I read in DH about how putting your soul back together would be excruciatingly painful. That day I was thinking a hell of a lot about souls and how painful it would be to tear it apart, let alone put it back together, and I think that's where it came from. As for the title, I only decided it after I wrote the last stanza, so it was really just coincidence :P Thank you ever so much for your reviews, all of them. This one IS a particularly great review, don't worry. ~Soraya~

 

Apathy by inspirations
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

Voldemort has won. Harry Potter has been beaten.

This is what happened to the side who lost.


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mental Disorders, Violence

Word count: 1448 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/05/10 Updated: 11/05/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/05/10 Title: Chapter 1: Apathy

This was really well written. I thought it was interesting to look at it from Draco's perspective, rather than one of the Weasley's or someone like that. He has that different position of having supported Voldemort but now suffering just as everyone else under his regime.

Especially your description of Hermione at the end was chilling. - "all he could think was that it was as if somebody had gouged them out of her sockets with sharp fingernails, leaving behind only two nasty, bloody hollows" - that's a very powerful line.

Author's Response: Thank you! I've never written a story from Draco's pov before, so I'm pleased you like it :) xx

 

All Alone by savvy33
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: She left him. Two years later, he still hasn't picked up the pieces and moved on.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 989 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/08/10 Updated: 11/11/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/11/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I think it was a good setting for this story, but to be honest I think both Ron and Hermione were a bit OOC, especially Ron. From his behaviour in HBP, when he feels like Hermione doesn't like him/hates him, he throws himself into partying etc (for example his relationship with Lavender). Therefore I think it might work better if he was dancing with some nameless pretty girl when he remembered Hermione breaking up with him or something like that.

Hermione seemed a little over the top... although I guess she could get like that if that scenario was just the last straw.

I thought it was written fairly well though, and you did manage to convey Ron's pain/anger/loss.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I appreciate you taking the time to leave one.

 

Summary: A sequel, of sorts, to A Different Kind Of Magic. Ginny’s being dragged along by Teddy to see his and his grandma's new house. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, when Ginny’s heavily pregnant and Teddy full of five-year-old energy…the answer to that is…everything.

The rating is purely due to Ginny's choice of language, and rest assured it is very brief. All reviews receive a reply!

Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Strong Profanity

Word count: 5737 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/13/10 Updated: 11/23/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Dad Who Lived

After reading the "prequel" for want of a better word to this, I decided to check this fic out, and I'm glad I did. It was great! (Possibly better than the first one... but that was great too...). The way you intertwined the two different story lines was very effective. You have great plot ideas which make this kind of story really unique!

My favourite line was "Forget the Boy Who Lived. Harry was the Dad Who Lived." It simultaneously made me laugh and go 'aww'. Plus it was perfect for Harry's character.

Just one small thing - I would have liked it if you went into more detail about the issues between Ginny and Andromeda. I don't know, I was just curious after you made some comment about it.

Anyway, it was great how you tied two story lines down to really simple things, like love, and made them connect to your title as well. Great job!!

Author's Response: Yeah, I have to agree with you that this one is better than the last one--I guess that shows how my writing has improved and evolved over the years...Thank you for saying that I have great plot ideas. My favourite line is the same as yours--God knows how I came up with that. And I do plan to have some sort of follow-up about the issues with Andromeda and Ginny and Narcissa and everyone. Just not at the moment because I'm currently working on Checkmate, my WIP. Thanks for another one of your lovely reviews and I hope to see you in my inbox again soon. ~Soraya~

 

Sibling Rivalry by Phoenixsong7611
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: While waiting for news from the battle at Hogwarts, Andromeda mulls over her relationship with her sisters. Will it ever be right again?

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1300 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/13/10 Updated: 11/15/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/17/10 Title: Chapter 1: Kill no Birds with One Stone

I thought this was a great idea for a story and you explored this idea fairly well - especially considering it's your first fic :).

However, I did find your writing a little clunky at times. I think I would have preferred the flashback to have come earlier, and then you wouldn't have had to describe Narcissa's and Bellatrix's characters so much, you could have just shown them through that.

In general you seemed to tell the reader what was happening, rather than showing it. Lines like this one - "Her thoughts turned again to her sisters." - seemed a little superfluous, as without it, it still would have been clear that Andromeda's mind had returned to her sisters.

I liked the way you kept referring to the clock ticking by and Andromeda's anxiety for her family, but I would have liked it if you'd tied in her 'new family' as more of a contrast to her 'old family'. Also, the ending seemed a little strange to me - it didn't particularly seem to conclude your ideas.

Anyway I hope you don't take my review to be negative, that's not the intention, I just think you've got a great idea here which could be even better :).

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I agree, this could have been better. I could have spent more time on it, honestly, but summer break had quite drained my perfectionist nature. Do you think there is room for another Battle of Hogwarts fic? I have been thinking of doing one...and I am sorry about my not replying for so long.

 

Mourning by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 1]

Summary: Andromeda feels the grief of losing her daughter, but she does not cry. Not yet.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1121 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/13/10 Updated: 11/15/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/17/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I enjoyed this fic - I thought you got into Andromeda's character really well. It was a great moment to place the story, and I liked your idea that she's more in shock and can't cry yet, but when Harry comes and takes responsibility away from her (by taking Teddy) that she can finally let go.

Unfortunately, I didn't quite like your Harry - I know he's only in the fic for a few lines, but some of his dialogue didn't quite sit right with me. I would have imagined him to have been more nervous when he arrived and not quite so good at saying what he meant. But maybe that's just my interpretation of him. I did like the last line thought, and how it connected to the beginning and brought Harry and Andromeda together nicely.

Another little nitpick - you've written "Therefore, she was considerably unsurprised to see Harry Potter..." - the considerably unsurprised seems a little awkward to me, perhaps something like 'not at all surprised' would have worked better?

Anyway, in general I did like this fic and how you showed Andromeda.

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I've never been very good with Harry for some reason-- that's why I don't write about him very often. Thank you for writing in!

 

Hopelessness by FlightOfSong
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: When Ron listened to Hermione's screams from down in the cellar of Malfoy Manor, what was going through his mind?

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 119 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/14/10 Updated: 11/16/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: Hopelessness

I'm not usually a massive reader/fan of poetry, but this summary looked interesting so I checked it out. I really liked the first stanza; it really embodied that horrible and disturbing scene for me. Especially the end - "Knife to her throat / Blood on her skin". Chilling.

I also loved the last two lines - they really delved into Ron's character and ended it really nicely.

I have to say, I thought your choice of words were sometimes a little strange - for example, using the word "mirthless" didn't quite fit for me. I would use that word only if there was a situation that was supposed to be funny, and the character didn't find it so, or if a character laughs but without mirth (it often makes me think of the way Voldemort laugh).

However some of your words were great, like "abyss" (that is just a wonderful word and perfect here).

The beginning of the second stanza also sums up Ron's character, I like how you have him defending that it was her, not him, who was being tortured. If that makes sense.

So all in all, a nice, chilling poem. Oh and the title was great too and really ties in with the last line.

 

Shattered by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThe Boy Who Lived discovers that he may not have escaped the Final Battle unscathed after all.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mental Disorders

Word count: 2864 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/21/10 Updated: 11/21/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/22/10 Title: Chapter 1: Shattered

This was really sad, but really well written. I love how you used second person - it made me feel really involved in the story, as if I was personally experiencing this. Using Ginny as your focalising character was also a nice touch, and that last line really sent chills down my spine.

I loved how you played with the reader's emotions - right until the end you make it seem like there's some hope, especially when Hermione finds something in a book, and then in the end it is heartbreaking.

I loved the spell as well - what an original and dark idea! And I loved the irony as well, that Harry's soul ends up fracturing into tiny pieces - almost as if he inadvertantly echoes Voldemort.

The only really tiny thing I didn't like so much was the opening paragraph. I can see that you were trying to give a sense of the setting, but it didn't draw me in so much. Sorry I can't really think of how you could have done it better... and anyway, by the end I'd almost forgotten about it because the rest was so amazing!!

One more thing - I really loved how Ginny's character came through, and how you showed her 'shattering' (for want of a better word) throughout the fic.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such an amazing first review! I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the second person pov - I know a lot of readers don't, but it just came out that way. I find it heartbreaking as well. It was interesting to explore a 'what if?' for that Final Battle, especially since I really thought Harry might die at the time the last book was released. I don't know where I got the idea for the spell, but you are exactly right about how it mirrors Voldemort. It's bitter irony, something JKR didn't touch on much. I'm glad you kept reading in spite of the opening paragraph - I can see how it's a bit different than the rest of the story - thanks again for the lovely review!! ~Gina :)

 

I'll Miss You by Quill And Ink
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: September first was not a day Hermione was looking forward to. As she boards the train, she
must say goodbye to those she loves.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1203 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/22/10 Updated: 11/24/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I loved how you created such a sweet moment between Ron and Hermione - it would be a really hard good-bye for them, after living so closely together for seven years. I liked the parallel to the traditional 'first-year getting on the train' scenario, talking about the letters etc., it made it very cute.

To be honest, having Ginny and Molly arguing seemed a little strange to me, especially over Harry. I think to Molly, it would have been fairly obvious that they'd get together, and considering how much she likes Harry, she would actually be quite happy. It seems strange that she is happy with Ron and Hermione being together, but not Harry and Ginny.

I also thought it was a pity that there was hardly any reference to the war - perhaps something about how many people would be missing or something. I think that might have added to the bittersweet feeling in this story.

I thought you did write it very nicely though, both Ron and Hermione seemed very IC and I loved the nervousness yet excitement they both seem to feel. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Like I said below, it would have mainly been the fact that nobody told Molly that would have been argued about. I did contemplate putting in a moment of thought upon Fred, and I now regret not. I'm really glad you stopped by to let your opinion. Thanks for advice and words of encouragement!

 

Unbeatable by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: You're unbeatable, Jimmy. You're unbeatable and don't you forget it. Some day, you'll play for the great teams of Britain. That was what Jimmy Peakes's father had always told him. Now Jimmy has to prove it, not only to his team captain, but to the girl he likes, and to himself.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1708 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/26/10 Updated: 11/26/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Jimmy

So bitter sweet! I totally wasn't expecting his Dad to die... it was very sad. You wrote that bit nicely - there was no description of lots of tears and pain and all that, just some nice dialogue. I loved the way each vignette was interspersed with conversations with his Dad. It was also really interesting to show the Quidditch team from someone else's point of view, and how Ron affected them all. Your sense of character is great - I had a nice picture of Jimmy, his Dad, Ritchie and Demelza, which was a great achievement in such a short fic!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! It suddenly occurred to me that we really don't know anything about the new kids in book six, and I thought they deserved a story. I'm glad you liked it!

 

Mercy by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: If you knew that the consequence of doing the right thing might be torture, or even death, would you still do it?

This story was inspired by something Neville said in passing. “…And then Michael Corner went and got caught releasing a first year they’d [the Carrows] chained up, and they tortured him pretty badly…”

This is the untold tale of an unsung hero: Michael Corner.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1758 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/27/10 Updated: 11/28/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: Choices

This was a really nice depiction of Michael Corner and filled him out a bit more than the books do, your characterisation was lovely. I wasn't too sure about Filch... I thought it was great, showing another side to him, but the Filch from the books was in a way quite one-dimensional so I just wonder whether or not it's believable. But then again, you made it work and it worked really effectively for the suspense of your story. And it makes you think, too, about how often the bad people get cold feet...

Anyway, back to your story, it was very well-written. I have to say, I found the beginning bit dragged on just a little too long... perhaps you could have interspersed some of that with the action?

Also I loved the irony of Mercy's name, very well picked for her character and as a title.

Just one other small thing - I'm not sure if you really need the last sentence... somehow I think it's more effective without it, but that's just my humble opinion.

Anyway, sorry I'm rambling on here... it was a very moving/haunting story and you managed to deal with some quite heavy themes without melodrama and I really loved it :).

Author's Response: Thank you! I agree with everything you said: I wasn't sure Filch would do that either, but I decided he needed something to redeem him; the beginning does drag a bit, since it is all internal pondering, but that part, the internal pondering, is the drabble that the rest of the one shot was built off of; I enjoyed the irony of Mercy's name as well; and it could do without the last sentence, but somehow, I rather like that line, so... I don't know that I shall part with it.

I love rambles! Don't worry about it. I'm glad you thought it moving/haunting. That's what I was going for.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 

The Aliens by Midnight Storm
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: The Second Wizarding War is at its peak. What does it look like to an observant seven-year-old Muggle boy?


Aliens are invading, I know they are. Aliens that use sticks to hurt and kill people.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 912 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/28/10 Updated: 11/29/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 11/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: The Aliens

I really liked this idea and you wrote it really well. Filtering everything through the mind of a 5-year-old was a really good idea and really effective. I have a few small things to say - firstly, I really loved how initially you referred to wizards as "it" instead of "he", but then when the Death Eater came into the boy's house, you changed and calle him "he". I liked the way you objectified wizards, so this seemed a bit strange to me. Also, you've used the word 'unexplainable' and whilst I think that's now an accepted word, it's meant to be inexplicable... but that's nothing major. Early on in the story you also wrote "I've another one before, as well..." - you're missing 'seen'.

Anyway, it was written really well and it was very haunting and effective. I loved the bluntness of your character - "Daddy cried for a long time, because Mummy and Emma werent asleep. They were dead." So yeah, great fic :)

Author's Response: Sorry about the mistakes -- I'll change them now! :D

 

A Midwinter Night's Dream by winters_tale
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary: The Triwizard Tournament is happening at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year. After having just lost the Quidditch World Cup, Viktor Krum heads to England with high hopes of winning the tournament and regaining what he views as his lost glory. But while there, he meets someone special, and suddenly, always being the victor doesn't seem quite as important anymore.

A Hermione/Viktor story.

Categories: Hermione/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 15058 Chapters: 7 Completed: No
Published:
12/01/10 Updated: 01/05/11


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/02/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This looks like it's going to be really interesting! I like how you've set Viktor's character up - especially with the part about how he hates people who only care about him for his fame, which is explore nicely through Simone. It makes it really believable that things could work out between Hermione and him, because she understands fame from beings friends with Harry.

I thought it was a bit strange that you wrote "My goodness, Viktor, you are very vet!" . Presumably at home Viktor and his mother would speak Bulgarian, not accented English, so perhaps you could have written "My goodness, Viktor, you are very wet," his mother said in Bulgarian.

Anway, it's a really promising start and I like the way you've explored Viktor so far :).

Author's Response: Thank you! And yeah, you're write about the what his mother said. Thanks for the tip, and I'll go change that. :)

 

As Luck Would Have It by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Lily Evans is having a bad day. When she decides to take a sip of Felix Felicis, things turn out quite different than she anticipates--for both her and James Potter.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6713 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/02/10 Updated: 12/02/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/02/10 Title: Chapter 1: As Luck Would Have It

Once again your portrayal of Lily and James was great and I liked the unconventional way you used to get them together.

I wasn't so sure about how you seemed to portray Lily's relationship with her friends... from what is known in canon, she seems like she'd be the loyal type who'd share everything with them and the way she just flippantly left them seemed a bit strange... but that's just my interpretation.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it, it was nicely written and your characters were great :).

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this take on it all. I find it amusing that you are picking on Lily and not any number of things I would have pegged, lol! ;) I see your point, but I would like to point out Lily wasn't being flippant when she left them: she was in a terrible, rotten mood. She didn't want to hang out with them, and they hardly noticed her lag behind. I can recall times when I didn't want to hang out with people, and I can recall times where I did just leave. As for her sharing everything, that's possible, but we don't know that for sure. And again - this thing with James is something she's not sure about, so maybe she didn't feel ready to talk with her friends about it. Or maybe she did off the page. ;) So that's where I'm coming from on Lily. I'm glad that little bit didn't distract from the rest of it - thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate your lovely compliments! ~Gina :)

 

Mother's Girl, Father's Girl by abovelevel
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:
Andromeda Black was never as sweet or quiet as her little sister, nor as clever and bold as her older sister. Andromeda was never anything in particular. She certainly never imagined that she would someday betray her family.
Andromeda is just herself. And for Ted, that's enough.

Character Exploration Fic.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2601 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/06/10 Updated: 12/20/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: Mother's Girl, Father's Girl

I liked how you explored Andromeda's character in a slightly different way to what I've read before, with the whole "father's daughter" and "mother's daughter" idea. It was really effective. I have to say, the first few bits were my favourites, because it shows that Andromeda is like any other girl and just wants to please her parents. I also liked how you explored Bella's descent into madness/insanity.

Just one small thing - you've written Bella never has a probably spitting at Muggle-borns... - I presume you mean 'problem' not 'probably'?

Anyway, this was a sweet story and I really enjoyed it. Oh and I don't think I've said yet... the idea of doing snapshots across her life was a really good idea, it really showed how she changed gradually, not all at once. Great job, especially for your first fic!!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it :) I really like Andromeda because to me, she really does seem like a normal girl who was somewhat 'stuck in the middle.' She didn't really know where she belonged and felt I guess...alienated in a sense. I think that's something we all go through, but for her the stakes were much higher. Gradually, as you said, she had to adjust in a way that fit her, not her Mum or Dad or whomever else. Thanks for the feedback and for spotting that mis-type. I'll need to go in and fix those. But anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!!

 

You Are by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

Alone, disgusting, adrift between life and death...

This is Tom Riddle's penance for his lack of remorse.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 114 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/09/10 Updated: 12/09/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 04/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello Jess, yes it's me again...

This is a fantastic poem. (As usual.) It really shows that scene in King's Cross so well... I loved the ending - That which you reviled has become your realitly, / For you are Death. That just really shows what Voldemort has become, and how in life what you fear most and try to escape will always come back to haunt you.

I think you did a great job here, as I think it's very hard to capture someone who is so completely inhuman. I think it's easier to write Tom Riddle (I've done that before), because at least there's a speck of humanity in there...

Anyway, I'm getting off topic here... the point is I think you've done a really good job with this.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I will freely admit that I was in a very, very pissy mood when I wrote this. What I wanted was to focus on someone/thing that was more pathetic than I felt at the time (It's a long, long story, and no, it wasn't as big a deal as I made it out to be, lol. I was being very melodramatic at the time.) And really, what is more pitiful than that scrap of afterlife that had become Tom Riddle/Voldemort? He spent his entire existence instilling fear of him and of his name, and in the end, it created his own demise. No one  sympathised with him; only pity, if even that, remained. The kicker was that he did it to himself by being too thick to realise that there are simply things he doesn't understand, and that pretending things he doesn't understand don't exist doesn't make it so.

And now I've got off track, but thanks for stopping in. I know poetry isn't your thing, and really, it's not mine, either, but I'm glad you enjoyed it and got the point. 

Take care!

~Jess

 

Ribbons, not Strings by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Christmas for the Marauders has always been a riotous affair. They stay at Hogwarts to wreak havoc on the staff and the Slytherins alike. But in 1977 things are different. James is now Head Boy and has become alarmingly responsible, leaving Sirius and Remus with the choice of going home with Peter or behaving.

The third choice - finding somewhere else to celebrate - does not occur to them until Remus discovers that the landlady of the Three Broomsticks is facing a very lonely Christmas.

A big thank you to Elene (coolcatelly) for beta'ing this fic despite an evil computer virus.

Thanks also to the AIM crew for not letting me hit delete.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. Her lawyers agree, so please don't confuse us.

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry for the Great Hall Christmas Challenge - prompt 1 ~Christmas Past~

~~~


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 7755 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/11/10 Updated: 12/11/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 01/08/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Your characterisation of all the Marauders was fantastic!! The interactions between Sirius, Remus and James were great, and Peter's absence not seeming to ruin their fun was great too. Especially considering James was off with Lily, it nicely demonstrated the way the Marauders gradually break down.

The idea of Remus/Rosmerta was really different, and I loved the character you made for her. She fit who she becomes later in canon, but you gave her something new as well. Remus' self-doubt was also written well.

Just one comment - James and Lily seemed to get together very suddenly. I know this was only back story, and so wasn't so important, but it seemed a little strange that even the Marauders didn't know. Although then again... it would be sort of typical of Lily to keep things a secret... so I guess that's just your interpretation.

Anyway, great fic!!

Author's Response: Thank you. Ah, well, the implication was that they'd been skirting around each other all term, and the Marauders knew James was up to something but was just waiting for him to come clean. There's references to him not wanting the others there that Christmas, and also Lily 'avoiding his eye' which are supposed to imply that they've been seeing each other in secret. Thanks for the review. I am glad you liked the story. ~Carole~

 

And I Step Forward by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: “Do you trust me, Alice?”

After all this strange talk of magic, and wizards, and schools I’ve never heard of, and invisible worlds? I bite my lip. I want, so badly, to say that I trust him. It would have been true up until last night.

I look him in the eyes. I almost think I can see his soul there.

I nod.

Still holding my hand, he steps forward. I close my eyes and allow him to tug me along.

A Muggle bride's thoughts about her Wizarding groom and the journey that has brought them to this day.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1369 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/11/10 Updated: 12/18/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: Trust

Very sweet :). Wizard/Muggle interactions are really interesting to explore, and I thought you did this pretty well. It was interesting to see events and then hear Alice's voice in between, definitely a different way of writing. My only criticism is that I would have liked more - for example more detail on how Alice fell in love with Albus and a bit more about her character. Also perhaps you could have explored why Hugo is working in a Muggle establishment... or maybe not, it mightn't have really fitted in the story. Anyway, it was nicely written, and I had to laugh at Al and Alice together. Definitely a good read :).

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Like I said in reply to an earlier review, this was pretty much a drabble that got out of hand. I suppose the snippet-like quality of a drabble came over into this one-shot. In a drabble, you really can't explain very much of anything...

I'm glad you thought Al and Alice were funny together. I thought it was rather funny too. =)

Thanks for reading!

 

Christmas in Oz by abovelevel
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:
Hermione deals with the past and learns to move forward during the unforgettable Christmas of 1999 in Australia.

Written for the 'Of Christmases' Past, Present and Future Challenge' in the Great Hall on the Forums, Prompt #3. Thanks!

Thanks also to my very helpful beta-reader, Bookworm!

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2306 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/14/10 Updated: 12/20/10


Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione Signed
Date: 12/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: Christmas in Oz

I thought this was an interesting idea and you wrote it really emotionally - I loved the part where Hermione confessed to Ron what she'd been doing, as well as the ending. I also thought you had a good grasp on the characters of Ron and Hermione and your dialogue was good.

I would have liked a few more details, such as how long Ron and Hermione had been in Australia and where they were in Australia - I assumed it was meant to be Sydney or Melbourne because you said Kowari Square was the biggest wizarding market place in the country. Also I think you could have focussed more on the heat and the humidity (unless this was set in the dessert- which would be unlikely as hardly anyone lives there - it's usually very humid at Christmas) and how it was so drastically different to England - I know you touched on this, but I thought perhaps yo ucould have explored it more.

Also, I found the ending quite rushed - from when Hermione confessed to Ron until the end, I felt like I barely understood what had happened and suddenly the story was over. I would have liked to have seen a bit more between Ron and Hermione and a fuller explanation or something.

Anyway... I hope this long-winded review makes some kind of sense. I really enjoyed this fic :).

Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!! :) I agree the end was rather quick - I spent a lot of time trying to decide what to add and take out, so I definitely understand where you're coming from. In the end, I decided I liked it how it is haha...a more quick moment compared to the long deliberation preceding... but yeah, feedback is appreciated! Anyways, thanks for coming by and for all your comments! They will definitely be helpful for any future stories I write.

 
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