Hi! I'm Katrina and I am not J.K. Rowling (just to avoid any confusion there).
I've been writing on MNFF since about 2010, but up until a few months ago had not written anything for quite some time. So I am trying to get back into writing, and have quite a few stories percolating in my head, but I just need to find the time to write them.
I basically only write one-shots (I have one three chaptered story), and they're usually character explorations and snapshots rather than long plots, but I've written about a variety of characters, so hopefully there's something you'll enjoy. I like experimenting a bit with form too.
Anyway if you have stumbled here by accident, I do hope you enjoy something.
I thought this was a great idea for a story and you explored this idea fairly well - especially considering it's your first fic :).
However, I did find your writing a little clunky at times. I think I would have preferred the flashback to have come earlier, and then you wouldn't have had to describe Narcissa's and Bellatrix's characters so much, you could have just shown them through that.
In general you seemed to tell the reader what was happening, rather than showing it. Lines like this one - "Her thoughts turned again to her sisters." - seemed a little superfluous, as without it, it still would have been clear that Andromeda's mind had returned to her sisters.
I liked the way you kept referring to the clock ticking by and Andromeda's anxiety for her family, but I would have liked it if you'd tied in her 'new family' as more of a contrast to her 'old family'. Also, the ending seemed a little strange to me - it didn't particularly seem to conclude your ideas.
Anyway I hope you don't take my review to be negative, that's not the intention, I just think you've got a great idea here which could be even better :).
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I agree, this could have been better. I could have spent more time on it, honestly, but summer break had quite drained my perfectionist nature. Do you think there is room for another Battle of Hogwarts fic? I have been thinking of doing one...and I am sorry about my not replying for so long.
I enjoyed this fic - I thought you got into Andromeda's character really well. It was a great moment to place the story, and I liked your idea that she's more in shock and can't cry yet, but when Harry comes and takes responsibility away from her (by taking Teddy) that she can finally let go.
Unfortunately, I didn't quite like your Harry - I know he's only in the fic for a few lines, but some of his dialogue didn't quite sit right with me. I would have imagined him to have been more nervous when he arrived and not quite so good at saying what he meant. But maybe that's just my interpretation of him. I did like the last line thought, and how it connected to the beginning and brought Harry and Andromeda together nicely.
Another little nitpick - you've written "Therefore, she was considerably unsurprised to see Harry Potter..." - the considerably unsurprised seems a little awkward to me, perhaps something like 'not at all surprised' would have worked better?
Anyway, in general I did like this fic and how you showed Andromeda.
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I've never been very good with Harry for some reason-- that's why I don't write about him very often. Thank you for writing in!
I'm not usually a massive reader/fan of poetry, but this summary looked interesting so I checked it out. I really liked the first stanza; it really embodied that horrible and disturbing scene for me. Especially the end - "Knife to her throat / Blood on her skin". Chilling.
I also loved the last two lines - they really delved into Ron's character and ended it really nicely.
I have to say, I thought your choice of words were sometimes a little strange - for example, using the word "mirthless" didn't quite fit for me. I would use that word only if there was a situation that was supposed to be funny, and the character didn't find it so, or if a character laughs but without mirth (it often makes me think of the way Voldemort laugh).
However some of your words were great, like "abyss" (that is just a wonderful word and perfect here).
The beginning of the second stanza also sums up Ron's character, I like how you have him defending that it was her, not him, who was being tortured. If that makes sense.
So all in all, a nice, chilling poem. Oh and the title was great too and really ties in with the last line.
This was really sad, but really well written. I love how you used second person - it made me feel really involved in the story, as if I was personally experiencing this. Using Ginny as your focalising character was also a nice touch, and that last line really sent chills down my spine.
I loved how you played with the reader's emotions - right until the end you make it seem like there's some hope, especially when Hermione finds something in a book, and then in the end it is heartbreaking.
I loved the spell as well - what an original and dark idea! And I loved the irony as well, that Harry's soul ends up fracturing into tiny pieces - almost as if he inadvertantly echoes Voldemort.
The only really tiny thing I didn't like so much was the opening paragraph. I can see that you were trying to give a sense of the setting, but it didn't draw me in so much. Sorry I can't really think of how you could have done it better... and anyway, by the end I'd almost forgotten about it because the rest was so amazing!!
One more thing - I really loved how Ginny's character came through, and how you showed her 'shattering' (for want of a better word) throughout the fic.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such an amazing first review! I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the second person pov - I know a lot of readers don't, but it just came out that way. I find it heartbreaking as well. It was interesting to explore a 'what if?' for that Final Battle, especially since I really thought Harry might die at the time the last book was released. I don't know where I got the idea for the spell, but you are exactly right about how it mirrors Voldemort. It's bitter irony, something JKR didn't touch on much. I'm glad you kept reading in spite of the opening paragraph - I can see how it's a bit different than the rest of the story - thanks again for the lovely review!! ~Gina :)
I loved how you created such a sweet moment between Ron and Hermione - it would be a really hard good-bye for them, after living so closely together for seven years. I liked the parallel to the traditional 'first-year getting on the train' scenario, talking about the letters etc., it made it very cute.
To be honest, having Ginny and Molly arguing seemed a little strange to me, especially over Harry. I think to Molly, it would have been fairly obvious that they'd get together, and considering how much she likes Harry, she would actually be quite happy. It seems strange that she is happy with Ron and Hermione being together, but not Harry and Ginny.
I also thought it was a pity that there was hardly any reference to the war - perhaps something about how many people would be missing or something. I think that might have added to the bittersweet feeling in this story.
I thought you did write it very nicely though, both Ron and Hermione seemed very IC and I loved the nervousness yet excitement they both seem to feel. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Like I said below, it would have mainly been the fact that nobody told Molly that would have been argued about. I did contemplate putting in a moment of thought upon Fred, and I now regret not. I'm really glad you stopped by to let your opinion. Thanks for advice and words of encouragement!
So bitter sweet! I totally wasn't expecting his Dad to die... it was very sad. You wrote that bit nicely - there was no description of lots of tears and pain and all that, just some nice dialogue. I loved the way each vignette was interspersed with conversations with his Dad. It was also really interesting to show the Quidditch team from someone else's point of view, and how Ron affected them all. Your sense of character is great - I had a nice picture of Jimmy, his Dad, Ritchie and Demelza, which was a great achievement in such a short fic!!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! It suddenly occurred to me that we really don't know anything about the new kids in book six, and I thought they deserved a story. I'm glad you liked it!
This story was inspired by something Neville said in passing. “…And then Michael Corner went and got caught releasing a first year they’d [the Carrows] chained up, and they tortured him pretty badly…”
This is the untold tale of an unsung hero: Michael Corner.
This was a really nice depiction of Michael Corner and filled him out a bit more than the books do, your characterisation was lovely. I wasn't too sure about Filch... I thought it was great, showing another side to him, but the Filch from the books was in a way quite one-dimensional so I just wonder whether or not it's believable. But then again, you made it work and it worked really effectively for the suspense of your story. And it makes you think, too, about how often the bad people get cold feet...
Anyway, back to your story, it was very well-written. I have to say, I found the beginning bit dragged on just a little too long... perhaps you could have interspersed some of that with the action?
Also I loved the irony of Mercy's name, very well picked for her character and as a title.
Just one other small thing - I'm not sure if you really need the last sentence... somehow I think it's more effective without it, but that's just my humble opinion.
Anyway, sorry I'm rambling on here... it was a very moving/haunting story and you managed to deal with some quite heavy themes without melodrama and I really loved it :).
Author's Response: Thank you! I agree with everything you said: I wasn't sure Filch would do that either, but I decided he needed something to redeem him; the beginning does drag a bit, since it is all internal pondering, but that part, the internal pondering, is the drabble that the rest of the one shot was built off of; I enjoyed the irony of Mercy's name as well; and it could do without the last sentence, but somehow, I rather like that line, so... I don't know that I shall part with it.
I love rambles! Don't worry about it. I'm glad you thought it moving/haunting. That's what I was going for.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I really liked this idea and you wrote it really well. Filtering everything through the mind of a 5-year-old was a really good idea and really effective. I have a few small things to say - firstly, I really loved how initially you referred to wizards as "it" instead of "he", but then when the Death Eater came into the boy's house, you changed and calle him "he". I liked the way you objectified wizards, so this seemed a bit strange to me. Also, you've used the word 'unexplainable' and whilst I think that's now an accepted word, it's meant to be inexplicable... but that's nothing major. Early on in the story you also wrote "I've another one before, as well..." - you're missing 'seen'.
Anyway, it was written really well and it was very haunting and effective. I loved the bluntness of your character - "Daddy cried for a long time, because Mummy and Emma werent asleep. They were dead." So yeah, great fic :)
Author's Response: Sorry about the mistakes -- I'll change them now! :D
This looks like it's going to be really interesting! I like how you've set Viktor's character up - especially with the part about how he hates people who only care about him for his fame, which is explore nicely through Simone. It makes it really believable that things could work out between Hermione and him, because she understands fame from beings friends with Harry.
I thought it was a bit strange that you wrote "My goodness, Viktor, you are very vet!" . Presumably at home Viktor and his mother would speak Bulgarian, not accented English, so perhaps you could have written "My goodness, Viktor, you are very wet," his mother said in Bulgarian.
Anway, it's a really promising start and I like the way you've explored Viktor so far :).
Author's Response: Thank you! And yeah, you're write about the what his mother said. Thanks for the tip, and I'll go change that. :)
Once again your portrayal of Lily and James was great and I liked the unconventional way you used to get them together.
I wasn't so sure about how you seemed to portray Lily's relationship with her friends... from what is known in canon, she seems like she'd be the loyal type who'd share everything with them and the way she just flippantly left them seemed a bit strange... but that's just my interpretation.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it, it was nicely written and your characters were great :).
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this take on it all. I find it amusing that you are picking on Lily and not any number of things I would have pegged, lol! ;) I see your point, but I would like to point out Lily wasn't being flippant when she left them: she was in a terrible, rotten mood. She didn't want to hang out with them, and they hardly noticed her lag behind. I can recall times when I didn't want to hang out with people, and I can recall times where I did just leave. As for her sharing everything, that's possible, but we don't know that for sure. And again - this thing with James is something she's not sure about, so maybe she didn't feel ready to talk with her friends about it. Or maybe she did off the page. ;) So that's where I'm coming from on Lily. I'm glad that little bit didn't distract from the rest of it - thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate your lovely compliments! ~Gina :)
I liked how you explored Andromeda's character in a slightly different way to what I've read before, with the whole "father's daughter" and "mother's daughter" idea. It was really effective. I have to say, the first few bits were my favourites, because it shows that Andromeda is like any other girl and just wants to please her parents. I also liked how you explored Bella's descent into madness/insanity.
Just one small thing - you've written Bella never has a probably spitting at Muggle-borns... - I presume you mean 'problem' not 'probably'?
Anyway, this was a sweet story and I really enjoyed it. Oh and I don't think I've said yet... the idea of doing snapshots across her life was a really good idea, it really showed how she changed gradually, not all at once. Great job, especially for your first fic!!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it :) I really like Andromeda because to me, she really does seem like a normal girl who was somewhat 'stuck in the middle.' She didn't really know where she belonged and felt I guess...alienated in a sense. I think that's something we all go through, but for her the stakes were much higher. Gradually, as you said, she had to adjust in a way that fit her, not her Mum or Dad or whomever else. Thanks for the feedback and for spotting that mis-type. I'll need to go in and fix those. But anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!!
Alone, disgusting, adrift between life and death...
This is Tom Riddle's penance for his lack of remorse.
Hello Jess, yes it's me again...
This is a fantastic poem. (As usual.) It really shows that scene in King's Cross so well... I loved the ending - That which you reviled has become your realitly, / For you are Death. That just really shows what Voldemort has become, and how in life what you fear most and try to escape will always come back to haunt you.
I think you did a great job here, as I think it's very hard to capture someone who is so completely inhuman. I think it's easier to write Tom Riddle (I've done that before), because at least there's a speck of humanity in there...
Anyway, I'm getting off topic here... the point is I think you've done a really good job with this.
I will freely admit that I was in a very, very pissy mood when I wrote this. What I wanted was to focus on someone/thing that was more pathetic than I felt at the time (It's a long, long story, and no, it wasn't as big a deal as I made it out to be, lol. I was being very melodramatic at the time.) And really, what is more pitiful than that scrap of afterlife that had become Tom Riddle/Voldemort? He spent his entire existence instilling fear of him and of his name, and in the end, it created his own demise. No one sympathised with him; only pity, if even that, remained. The kicker was that he did it to himself by being too thick to realise that there are simply things he doesn't understand, and that pretending things he doesn't understand don't exist doesn't make it so.
And now I've got off track, but thanks for stopping in. I know poetry isn't your thing, and really, it's not mine, either, but I'm glad you enjoyed it and got the point.
Your characterisation of all the Marauders was fantastic!! The interactions between Sirius, Remus and James were great, and Peter's absence not seeming to ruin their fun was great too. Especially considering James was off with Lily, it nicely demonstrated the way the Marauders gradually break down.
The idea of Remus/Rosmerta was really different, and I loved the character you made for her. She fit who she becomes later in canon, but you gave her something new as well. Remus' self-doubt was also written well.
Just one comment - James and Lily seemed to get together very suddenly. I know this was only back story, and so wasn't so important, but it seemed a little strange that even the Marauders didn't know. Although then again... it would be sort of typical of Lily to keep things a secret... so I guess that's just your interpretation.
Anyway, great fic!!
Author's Response: Thank you. Ah, well, the implication was that they'd been skirting around each other all term, and the Marauders knew James was up to something but was just waiting for him to come clean. There's references to him not wanting the others there that Christmas, and also Lily 'avoiding his eye' which are supposed to imply that they've been seeing each other in secret. Thanks for the review. I am glad you liked the story. ~Carole~
After all this strange talk of magic, and wizards, and schools I’ve never heard of, and invisible worlds? I bite my lip. I want, so badly, to say that I trust him. It would have been true up until last night.
I look him in the eyes. I almost think I can see his soul there.
Still holding my hand, he steps forward. I close my eyes and allow him to tug me along.
A Muggle bride's thoughts about her Wizarding groom and the journey that has brought them to this day.
Very sweet :). Wizard/Muggle interactions are really interesting to explore, and I thought you did this pretty well. It was interesting to see events and then hear Alice's voice in between, definitely a different way of writing. My only criticism is that I would have liked more - for example more detail on how Alice fell in love with Albus and a bit more about her character. Also perhaps you could have explored why Hugo is working in a Muggle establishment... or maybe not, it mightn't have really fitted in the story. Anyway, it was nicely written, and I had to laugh at Al and Alice together. Definitely a good read :).
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Like I said in reply to an earlier review, this was pretty much a drabble that got out of hand. I suppose the snippet-like quality of a drabble came over into this one-shot. In a drabble, you really can't explain very much of anything...
I'm glad you thought Al and Alice were funny together. I thought it was rather funny too. =)
Thanks for reading!
I thought this was an interesting idea and you wrote it really emotionally - I loved the part where Hermione confessed to Ron what she'd been doing, as well as the ending. I also thought you had a good grasp on the characters of Ron and Hermione and your dialogue was good.
I would have liked a few more details, such as how long Ron and Hermione had been in Australia and where they were in Australia - I assumed it was meant to be Sydney or Melbourne because you said Kowari Square was the biggest wizarding market place in the country. Also I think you could have focussed more on the heat and the humidity (unless this was set in the dessert- which would be unlikely as hardly anyone lives there - it's usually very humid at Christmas) and how it was so drastically different to England - I know you touched on this, but I thought perhaps yo ucould have explored it more.
Also, I found the ending quite rushed - from when Hermione confessed to Ron until the end, I felt like I barely understood what had happened and suddenly the story was over. I would have liked to have seen a bit more between Ron and Hermione and a fuller explanation or something.
Anyway... I hope this long-winded review makes some kind of sense. I really enjoyed this fic :).
Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!! :) I agree the end was rather quick - I spent a lot of time trying to decide what to add and take out, so I definitely understand where you're coming from. In the end, I decided I liked it how it is haha...a more quick moment compared to the long deliberation preceding... but yeah, feedback is appreciated! Anyways, thanks for coming by and for all your comments! They will definitely be helpful for any future stories I write.
Sirius Black spends his last Christmas at Grimmauld Place.
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Christmas Challenge, Prompt One.
Beautiful! Your characterisation of Sirius was spot on - I can imagine him wanting to make the most of riling his family, particularly as he knows he won't be there to suffer the consequences.
His conversation with Regulus was sad - in a way I felt like hitting Regulus for so calmly accepting what his famil told him, but at the same time I sort of felt for him - the way you characterised him, it seemed that underneath he didn't agree with his family, but belonging somewhere was more important to him.
Bellatrix was deliciously cruel, though perhaps not quite as mad as we see her in canon. In fact, all the relatives were portrayed realistically - I liked the bit where Sirius sees his father raise an eyebrow the way he does. It was nice to see some similarity between Sirius and his family.
This is, in my humble opinion, the best line in this story: "Christmas at the Black house, he thought. It was like watching both a comedy and a tragedy at the same time." That's just so spot on, because the extreme lengths the Blacks go to and the way Sirius can rile them is comedic, yet it's tragic to know that this is his family.
So all in all, loved the fic :)
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the review, Katrina! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I'm especially glad you thought Sirius was okay, because at one point I lamented being able to write him. But I guess I just can't write that particularly story, since it's still unfinished on my laptop and this one was a quick and fun write. I'm not sure about Regulus, but I do like to think that they were brothers and that there would have been some sort of relationship between them. Hee hee, your favorite line is different than mine, but I'm glad that one stood out too! I wrote this story just so Sirius could say "Happy Christmas, b****." Isn't that crazy? One can only imagine what Azkaban did to Bellatrix in terms of really driving her over the edge. Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
A war had raged; everyone had felt alone and afraid at some point. And when it was over, most people went back to business as usual, but two of those haunted souls found respite from the most unlikely of sources.
After all, who doesn't need a little bit of catharsis?
I really loved this fic! It's an unlikely pairing, but I really loved how you wrote it and drew these two characters together. Initially forged out of mutual need, this thing of theirs, it had been like dittany on both their souls after a year in hell, but it had outlived its purpose long before. - This was really beautifully written and really summed it up for me. I loved your exploration of Draco post-war, and the line Without a word, they entered the only establishment in town that would have him. really showed that well. Somehow it really succinctly demonstrated the wizarding world's lack of acceptance of Draco. Also the beginning scene seemed very IC for Draco, I could imagine him doing that.
I don't really have any criticism - because I thought this was amazing - except that I would have liked more. Perhaps more of the interactions between Draco and Katie, also perhaps you could have dealt with the cursed necklace a bit more. Personally I would have liked to have seen more of Katie, eg why she never married - was it because of Draco, after all those years? Or maybe you could have shown her interacting with her friends or something... I don't know, because I can see that at the same time this fic is meant to be centred on Draco and Katie.
Anyway, I think I'm rambling here... I hope this made sense. I really loved this fic though :).
I'm glad you liked the story and wasn't thinking, "That crazy bint... what's she on?" What I wanted from this story was the idea that sometimes, people can be not so much friends but more like allies. We all have that one person with whom we share a lot of our secrets, and that person isn't always our own best friend. I sort of wanted that here, in the context that this relationship was never going to go anywhere further and it had always had an expiration date. To me, Katie didn't marry because she somehow thought that some miracle could happen and Draco might consider her, if just for a second, so she had to be available. However, by the time he was off the market, she had moved on past her desire to be with anyone. It's a myth that everyone wants to be in a relationship, because I myself have seen otherwise. That's where Katie ended up.
As for more interaction... well, those are their secrets. They wouldn't tell them to anyone else, so why would they share them with complete strangers like us? ^_^
Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
In the midst of the war, the Marauders and Lily have joined the Order, resolute in their decision to fight for justice. But times are hard, and soon, even the strongest of loyalties begin to wear thin.
This is lucca4 of Gryffindor writing for the final in the MWPP class on the Beta Boards.
Nominated for a 2011 QSQ - Best Marauder era Story
Fantastic, brilliant, amazing story. I think it was really good the way you showed the Marauders falling apart, and yet throughout there was a sense of what had been. The individual scenes with each of the Marauders were so well-written, and just so perfectly in character. Remus seemed tired and sick of what life had dealt him, thought still resolute. Sirius was witty and always had a comeback ready, and yet even he couldn't be arrogant about this situation (I loved the last line in that part, about how he couldn't protect his friends.) Peter was lonely and I think you did something interesting here, as he seems to feel betrayed by the others, as they treat Lily like one of them etc. It's a nice parallel with what happens later. Lily's doubt was really great - obviously, as a reader, we knew she would make the choice to fight, but it was interesting to see her thought processes, which would be entirely realistic.
The way you tied everything in with the last bit about there being a traitor was great too - particularly as the first people to be 'accused' were Remus and Sirius, and Peter wasn't even mentioned.
Your writing was just perfect in this story. I particularly loved your dialogue, which is always hard to write - it showed so much character.
I also think the concept for this story was very good, as it shows how love and friendship can break down when doubt comes into play, particularly when it's caused by a war like this. I think for this reason that my favourite part was the interaction between Sirius and Remus, because of all the characters, I think they're the least trusting of each other, and it really shows how this lack of trust comes between their friendship.
So, great story, I really loved it :).
Author's Response: Oh! Thank you for this lovely review! This is my least favorite part about the Marauder-era, the part where their friendship begins to unravel and they all start to grow apart a little. I'm so happy you thought the characterization was all right. I struggled with that before, I think, and that's why I decided to take the class, so I'm glad it showed! But what I keep forgetting to mention, and what I think helped me just as much as the class, was the fact that Jess beta'd this story so well and gave such perfect advice as to how to make this story work. Without her, this story would not be remotely intelligible. Thanks again! xx Ariana
It’s Christmas 1998, but Susan Bones doesn’t feel like celebrating. The loss of both her best friend and her favorite aunt have created wounds that might never heal. But with the help from a most unlikely person, she may be able mend what has broken, and gain a little Christmas spirit as well.
This story is for Gen/Sagen for the Gryffindor Christmas Craziness Secret Swap! Have a wonderful Christmas, Gen!
I loved the ending! So sweet! I was worried for a while that you weren't going to get them together... Anyway, it was a really different pairing and I loved how you drew them together. I especially liked how you explored Theodore's emotions about his father's death, and how in the end you let both characters be able to move on.
Author's Response: Ooh, thank you for this absolutely lovely review! I was unsure how to write this couple at first, as I never really pictured them together, but I'm glad you liked it and thought it worked :). Thanks so much for taking the time to review! xx
For over four years, Dean Thomas had been sending his polite regrets to his mum, begging off of coming home for Christmas. But when he sensed discord in the most recent letter from his Muggle family, he decided that he needed to stop making excuses and start counting his blessings.
What he found when he got there, however, proved to be more than just a simple family gathering.
This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story
Hi Jess, Hello again, Katrina! Have I ever mentioned how much I love your reviews? 'Cause I doand so do a lot of my MNFF friends. Keep up the amazing work, because reviews like yours is what keeps us going, pumping out fic after fic. The one thing I wanted from this fic is for someone to read it and think, "Hey, this could be my friend or my neighbour or someone I don't even know who I passed on the street." There is something humanising about not knowing fully who you are and where you came from, and I really wanted the reader to empathise with Dean in this respect. This could be any family going through it, and without the magic, it could be so universal a mini-crisis. Thanks for stopping in, and I'm glad you liked the story. It gave me fits, so it's nice to know my repeated headdesking paid off. ~Jess
Fantastic story!! I was so into it by the end that I wanted to hear more... your characters were fascinating in that they were really just normal people dealing with normal things. You drew them very realistically. I particularly liked your attention to detail with Dean with things like his smoking and the way he counted everything - they made him seem real rather than just a character on a page.
The various plots - of Dean's father and Connie etc - tied in so well with what Dean was going through and really added to this story... and even though it's nearly 10 000 words, it didn't feel long at all!
Just a small nitpick - in the third paragraph (which starts Even there, on the calm, peaceful beach that spoke to him...), I think you should have written it in pluperfect, ie "peaceful beach that had spoken to him" etc, because this story is written in past tense and you're telling an event before that. If that makes sense. Anyway, it didn't detract from the story at all... I'm just a bit of a freak when it comes to grammar sometimes.
Anyway, this was a great fic, really well written, with great characters and great attention to detail that almost made me believe that somewhere this was actually happening.
Hello again, Katrina! Have I ever mentioned how much I love your reviews? 'Cause I doand so do a lot of my MNFF friends. Keep up the amazing work, because reviews like yours is what keeps us going, pumping out fic after fic.
The one thing I wanted from this fic is for someone to read it and think, "Hey, this could be my friend or my neighbour or someone I don't even know who I passed on the street." There is something humanising about not knowing fully who you are and where you came from, and I really wanted the reader to empathise with Dean in this respect. This could be any family going through it, and without the magic, it could be so universal a mini-crisis.
Thanks for stopping in, and I'm glad you liked the story. It gave me fits, so it's nice to know my repeated headdesking paid off.