umm . . .erumpent horns usually explode on touch, it was in DH. u could flesh out slughorn's character by making him do some actions as well as just instructions [mopping his brow, clapping hands together etc etc] but nice. I like it :)
Author's Response: This chapter was written before DH came out, actually, so I was unaware at the time. A few months before, I think. The writing of this fan fiction has been spread out over the course of 3-4 years, and it's still going little by little. Thanks for the Slughorn advice.
i like the Red Problem nickname - it fits
COLIN??? poor romilda vane.
i didnt think of Voldy using M to get to G - nice. keep going
reading your first chap made me smile. i thought it was quite good. i just have one Q: why is draco whispering? i thought they'd sort of ignore each other, but i liked it anyways.
wah! malfoy is mellowing ... .
Author's Response: Yes, sorry, this is a story where over the course of about 30 chapters, Malfoy mellows. I tried to keep him with a sarcastic sense of humor, though... Sorry! Jenny
many Qs now -
why did u make M call H love?? Sounds totally weird, coming from him
Isnt Luna supposed to be dreamy and vague? I thought u tweaked her personality a bit.
Didnt know that R/H relationship was that obvious ..
but hey, keep up the good work
Author's Response: He called her "love" in a sarcastic, biting way, not an affectionate way. I could change that though, if there's another British term that would work better there. I tried to keep Luna in character, but you are right, she is not vague here (I can fix dreamy with some descriptions of her voice, I think). She's not in the story very much, so hopefully that won't bother you too much. I assumed that Hermione and Ron were together as a couple all summer after the war and that news had spread. Maybe I should state that more explicitly. Thanks for the feedback! Jenny