My name's Dinny and I'm a hardcore Gryffindor! Hee hee. I am open to any ship at all though I don't read much slash. I have two OTPs: Draco/Hermione and Rose/Scorpius.
My favourite authors in here are: (you should probably check out their stories, too) MagEd, ron lover, Kerichi, Equinox Chick, lucca4, hestiajones, the opaleye, and ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor.
I hope you enjoy my stories! After many hardships, I manage to publish at least one that entertains :D
Summary: When the War is over and Voldemort defeated, Lily Evans suddenly finds herself with no plans left. She decides to go to a dragon reservation for a year to find some distraction and maybe finally make a decision for her future. But who would have thought that Lily might find something precious there?
Kara, this was a very rare and wonderful read. There aren’t a lot of AU fics that center on the Marauder’s Era, and taken very seriously. The rarer thing is that this story didn’t even include any of the Marauders and romance! James was only mentioned once as ‘getting along better lately’, and none of her family. I admit I was a bit disappointed not to see any of her thoughts about Petunia, but I can see that it’s a dangerous spot to play on since anything close to ‘I’m sad, my sister hates me’ is a cliché. Nevertheless, this was absolutely intriguing.
The setting – I liked how you didn’t forget the environment she was in. From rainy England to a scorching desert, it’s hard not to imagine a person constantly noticing the shift. The landscape wasn’t ignored, too. I like the idea of huts and tents placed in the middle of the desert with wizards taming the dragons. What a sight it would have been.
The mention of her memory about Herbology was fantastic. You didn’t forget that she also went to Hogwarts, and whatever may happen, Hogwarts is always a big part in a wizard’s life. About the change of ambitions – dragons seemed random at first, but then it made a lot of sense afterwards. Lily had always seen ‘the good in people’, and though dragons are wild creatures that usually strike fear, she saw the beauty in them. She was drawn towards them, and bit-by-bit, she started to get a hang of it. The profession of a dragon caretaker is so compatible with Lily’s personality. Amazing job done, Kara.
I like how you added a bit of your own ideas into Lily’s personality. Her paranoia about her hut catching fire or whatever harm the dragons may impose on her – that was a very good detail. And her thoughts and reactions about other people – it added more character to her. The birth of the Norwegian Ridgeback – what a terribly sweet scene. You’ve put that maternal bone in Lily, and I’m really glad you didn’t put ‘aww’ or ‘here kitty kitty’. It doesn’t seem to suit a dragon tamer.
“See, the problem about this is that with these paintings, we never know if it’s real or some Muggle art with their weird perception of dragons.
Fantastic detail! ‘Some Muggle art with their weird perception of dragons’. . . I very, very much like that sentence. It was an excellent insight to the differences of Muggle and Wizarding culture. It created more of that ‘magical’ atmosphere that some fics centering on the rare lack.
And then my favourite part – the dragon fight. I am seriously questioning if you’re also a dragon tamer. That scene was darn amazing! Your fast-paced description of the action scene gave enough information for the reader to keep with his imagination. Then how the wizards dealt with it – it really seems like you’ve got half the mind of JKR’s! The only thing I would have to criticize is that when they said the spells, it should have been italicized. It was just extremely good how you wrote the scene. You never hovered on one description too longer that it gets boring; you go along with it as if it were happening right before your eyes. Very vivid, and much understood.
The thing I love most is how you separated James and Lily. Now that I’ve thought about it, the First War was what had brought them together—their need to be secured and protected by a love greater than just their own. It’s weird how Lily doesn’t give much thought to her love life, but I guess for a very ambitious person like her, it’s probably the last thing in her mind. I think this deserves a sequel, Kara. A chapter that would allow the possibility of a James/Lily union. This was such a lovely read, and I enjoyed it very much. Good job! :)
Summary: “Guilt brings people together. It’s a takes one to know one type thing.”
James Potter has always been a spoiled, arrogant, lazy show-off. When he enters his final year at Hogwarts School, he’s Head Boy . . . and he’s still a spoiled, arrogant, lazy, show-off. But because of that terrible summer, he’s also guilt-ridden.
Lily Evans has always been a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. When she begins her last year at Hogwarts, she’s Head Girl . . . and still a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. But the first night back — and the murder that takes the entire school by surprise — leave her guilt-ridden as well.
With the darkness that’s surrounding the Wizarding world slowly seeping, at long last, onto the grounds of Hogwarts and into the lives of James Potter and Lily Evans, what comes next?
So here’s the thing: I’ve been reading your stories ever since I discovered fanfiction last May. I haven’t reviewed any of your chapters so I’ll start in the very beginning. :)
All throughout the story, every Marauder has stayed incredibly well-tuned and in-character. Their responses and their reactions – all of it was so much like them. Your OC’s – you gave them such a strong foundation that it seemed like you’ve imagined what their whole life was like. Regulus – I just really wish that I could have read more about him. Even if he was the culprit in the murder, there wasn’t so much that I knew about him. Grace – for me, she was such a complex character that I just have to congratulate you that you’ve written her excellently (I even checked out if she was a canon character; silly me). Tate Donovan – he was like a pawn in the story, but come to think of it, every character was a pawn. Cassie – my first impression was that I frowned because of the name. It was very muggle-ish, and a bit modern, too, but I grew used to it as you incorporate the memories from that fateful day in Diagon Alley. You used your OCs so effectively that I could see it was downright necessary for them to be in the story; their roles had such great importance that I could not imagine a better way to progress the fic.
James and Lily’s dynamic – I have to admit, his courting days to her was so much fun to read. It was very entertaining and very much like James to make a fool of himself in front of Lily. His haiku is still stuck in my head after all these months. . . Anyway, how you brought them together in I think, Chapter 13, was such a typical teenager way. Not that I’m insulting or criticizing that, only that I think the normalcy of the situation was a great air to the scene. I was waiting for the point that James would just give up, because let’s face it, he would give up at some point, and Lily’s reaction to it was just marvelous! Again, they were both so much in-character that the thought of you actually having a James/Lily-like-romance crossed my mind. Sirius’s banter with Lily was entertaining to read, too. His whining and jealous attitude when James finally got Lily reminded me of a child – a baby girl, in fact. I’m just a bit sad (again) that there wasn’t much romance for him. Sure there was Marley, but that barely counts since Marley didn’t take him seriously. Though now that I think about it, did you think that it would be hard to insert a Sirius/OC romance? Or did you think you would just end up writing a cliché?
The memories – Godric, I love the memories. It may seem like I’m the only one who enjoyed those, lol. It’s very obvious that you’ve put many a fantastic detail and emotion to it. How you wrote it, it makes me think that I was seeing James’s memory right at that second. The description of fear, anxiousness, and debris everywhere was so vivid and so felt. I really admire your writing skill and style – but that, too, was obvious, wasn’t it? Jill – just like Regulus, I was sad that I didn’t know what her life was like, but I got a clear idea who she was and how she acted through Lily’s and Marley’s, and the Marauders’ eyes. It’s sad to see that she was the victim of the murder, but then again, I’m very much thankful it wasn’t Lily, else the whole point of James/Lily was useless :P The name, ‘Jill’, was really adorable, and I thought, if James and Lily had lived and gave birth to a daughter, they would have named her after Jill.
There’s a pattern that I could see in your Lily; her determination is what James had fallen in love with. I can justify that because I’ve read every single one of your fics. Her determination to find out who Jill’s murderer is and her determination to kiss James in the 13th chapter gave so much depth to Lily more than you know. It made her wise; to think about the future and the benefits and consequences of her actions in the present. Remus – again, I wish he had a romance, too, but knowing you, Maggie, you dislike non-canon pairings so therefore, Remus must only be with Tonks, right? Peter – I really do hate Peter. He may have retracted his steps after 17 years, but I still hate him. In this story, you gave him the foundations of his betrayal – insecurity, feelings of inadequateness, and jealousy. Excellent, excellent job.
The plot – you really had me going. At the back of my mind, Regulus must have been the one, but then I thought why it would be him when he wasn’t used much in the story as a whole. So during the first steps, I strongly suspected it was Tate and Grace. Heck, I even considered Peter! Then you got all mysterious and evasive that I lost my trail of suspicions, and now that it revealed that Regulus was the one, well, let’s just say that I was partiallysurprised. You must know that I love every chapter of this story, and that I think everything was so much in order and so necessary and important that it was almost perfect. The only scene I was disappointed in was the confrontation with Voldemort. The chapter before that – the one where Lily was imperiused, which I think was brilliant and at the same time, creepy and highly disgusting (a good thing, don’t worry) and very evil, by the way – was signaling a big, legendary chapter to come next. You had Voldemort underestimate them, and thereby, losing the grip of his wand (which was pretty embarrassing, if you ask me).
Now, I have to tell you my ultimate favourite: The Epilogue. I was expecting a Lily/James scene, but goodness, it was oh so different. That’s why I love it so much. Instead of the usual Lily and James having a normal day then suddenly realize they’re going to die, you wrote the other characters’ ending after how many years. With all my heart, I love that scene so, so, so much. I love how Harry met Cassie, and how Cassie came to tell him that he was family and the excellent detail – the one pertaining to her childhood (i.e. “I don’t have the kind of family that people usually took advantage of”) – really touched me. It was what Harry felt all throughout the years, and it was just a touching scene that I thought I was going to cry. Grace’s talk with Peter about Regulus gave all the more solidness to your OC. For her to be asking what happened to him, why he died, it just said so much that was unsaid. They were really in love, and it ended as a disaster, too.
All in all, your story had a very bright beginning, and you progressed with it darkly, including grief and sorrow in all the characters’ part. I love how your Epilogue gave a brilliant spark of hope and an ending for others. I love how you gave each character in which they would both shine positively and negatively. I love how every chapter gave so much meaning and underlying truth to it. I love how you never seem to fail your readers and you always give them the best of chapters and responses. You’ve written such an incredible, fantastic, excellent, and very-detailed story, and it saddens me that it has ended. You have a great and covetable talent for writing that I really do wish that you don’t waste it. Share with us, with the rest of the world. Continue writing stories, fanfiction or perhaps in the near future, original fiction, and you will make us very happy and giddy with delight. I hope, with all my heart, that you will get better and better as you write, and that you never stop writing stories.
I love this story, everything about it was plain exceptional and outstanding. Please don’t leave mnff :(
Author's Response: Oh, my -- this might be the best and most detailed review I have ever received! I'm so happy you've enjoyed all of my stories, including this one. When I started this story, I really wanted it to focus on having everyone in character -- I wanted a Lily who wasn't too much like Hermione, a Peter who had a backbone, a James who was silly and immature and not always confident. I'm glad you liked the characters and came to feel the OCs necessary. OCs are always a risk, and it's such a relief to know you think these worked, and you liked Grace. Oh, and Jill -- I'm glad you liked Jill! I tried to show as much of her character in the memories as I could, but I didn't want to overdo it. As for James and Lily's dynamics -- getting that "right" so to speak was another big goal of mine in writing this story; I have read a hundred long, epic Lily/James seventh-year-fics, and I think a lot of them simply have James miraculously grown up and Lily finding herself falling head-over-heels for no reason, and I wanted to show actual growth to their relationship while still showing that they are, in fact, just kids! I'm glad you liked how their relationship was portrayed.
I'm also so happy you liked the memories! I was afraid people would find them boring and be more interested in what was happening in the present plotline, so it's a relief to know they were appreciated and that you can really find yourself in the moment alongside James. As for the murder mystery -- this was my first attempt at writing something like that. Before I started writing, all I knew was who I wanted the murderer to be, and I can still remembering sitting myself down and attempting to write out the main turning points in the murder using the seven steps to writing a good mystery that my ninth grade English teacher told me years and years ago! I'm glad you think it all worked out and, despite how small a role Regulus had throughout, you still weren't entirely surprised that he was the killer.
I spent ages rewriting the epilogue again and again in an attempt to do justice the story and finish off well, so I'm so happy that you enjoyed it so much! It was easy for me to write the fluffy scene between James and Lily, but I had a lot more trouble with Peter and Grace. Peter is such a hard character to write, imo. As for ending it on a happy note -- I couldn't help but give Harry that kind of family :) There's also the fact that I just can't bring myself to write the last day of James and Lily's life. I can't go near their deaths with a ten foot pole -- I'm far too attached to imaginary characters, it seems.
I certainly won't be leaving mugglenet anytime soon! But it may be a while (if ever) before I start in on another epic Lily/James story. (Although, knowing myself, I probably won't be able to resist. *sigh*) Oh, I almost forgot -- as for giving romances to Remus and to Sirius: I do think Remus would have had romances before Tonks, but nothing epic, you're right, because I'm too much of a canon Tonks/Remus sucker. And as for Sirius -- way too often his romances are Mary Sues, and they never much seem to enhance the plot in any way, so I simply wasn't interested in attempting that in this story. Also, there's the sad fact that JKR told us Sirius never has a serious romance. Well, anyway, thanks for such a FABULOUS review!
Summary: In any man who dies there dies with him,
his first snow and kiss and fight . . .
Not people die but worlds die in them
~Yevgeny Yevtushenko, "People"
His twin is dead, and as far as George can see, the whole world might as well have died, too. In other words, this is the story of how George Weasley grieved in seven steps. *one-shot*
I almost CRIED reading this. Almost. And I assure you, I NEVER cry when I read sad and depressing stories or even watching a real story movie. NEVER. I don't how to explain it, cause I'm not really good with words, but how you narrate-- how you tell the story, it makes the pain real. I noticed that you didn't dwell much on how George feels, but rather what you see in someone on the outside after someone they dearly loved died. They were empty, for a while.
But you had me laughing at the end. And there's no better ending than what you just gave: hope. Thank you for that beautiful story! You are, by far, my favorite fan fiction author for Harry Potter. Even if I'm not the type who loves to read grief, it takes a whole lot of talent to express it in writing. So, thank you again!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! I'm the sort of person that sobs at everything remotely touching, but I still hope to inspire feeling in those who aren't quite so emotional as me -- it's good to know I largely succeeded with this! And I'm especially glad you liked the way the emptiness was portrayed and then the happy ending of hope :)
You just hear the news that three of your friends are dead and your fourth friend is the cause of it all. How do you deal with it all? With the only way you can: you let their love wash over you.
Songfic: Love Reign O're Me by The Who
Warnings: There is a small mention of suicide. I don't think that it's enough to deserve a warning, though. I just wanted to tell you.
I almost cried, really. It was heart-breakingly beautiful.
It’s not a small, tiny drop that has hit your eye. It’s a big drop, the size that makes you wonder how all of the water can stay together. Your eye stings but it is welcome. It takes your mind off of everything, just for a second. After that second is up, all of the other pain comes back to you.
I’m sure you know how I love details; this is such a sweet part. Everything, absolutely everything was detailed exceptionally.
“Because someone above us is crying for us. They’re trying to make things better for us. The least we can do is appreciate what they give everyone.” Lily finished, and you stayed there, in the rain.
It might just be me, but it seemed like that Lily’s response is – er, childish. It’s a child’s answer. Would this have been when they were in their early years in Hogwarts?
Remus asks himself a lot of questions, and I can’t imagine this fic without it. There’s just something that causes us, don’t you think, to ask questions we can’t answer but try all the same? To me, those questions shake him up. It hurts because he knows he’ll never know. It reminds me of Dr. Carl Sagan’s quote, ‘We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers.’ Simple questions that needed deep answers are very lovely details you’ve added her. :)
“At least it’s not you, Remus. You could be dead right now.”
I expected Remus to explode here, but instead you wrote him as he truly is: just Remus. The empty answer, and the pain of that realisation that they were dead; the reactions are all Remus with the added bitterness of mourning. Beautiful, beautiful.
I love the ending. It gave me goose bumps! The scene was captured so vividly, it was like I was watching a movie in my head. The last line was so moving. An incredible way to end the story! The second person added to the feeling of being surrounded by the story. I felt Remus’s pain. I felt his grief and sorrow; I felt his emptiness. I don’t get touched easily, but this – it reminded me that I don’t cry for myself, but I cry for those who had a pain that was too much a heart could hold. You encompassed the reader so well into the story that it was hard to ignore Remus’s emotions. I try, most of the time, to stay neutral and stay above stories that make me react violently, but I guess this was written so elegantly and passionately that I can’t escape the scene. I love how you didn’t waste words to plain description. You wrote intricate details that made the whole piece fit perfectly!
Thank you for writing this. Thanks so much for sharing this story. There may not be many that reviewed this and you may think that none had enjoyed this, but this story will always stick to me. I can tell – even till now, there are stories, much like this, that I’ve remembered through out this years. This fic will not go unrecognised. Thank you for writing it. I enjoyed it immensly :)
She stares out across the great expanse of water.
He watches her longing gaze.
My final task for the 'Watching the Mirror' class on the beta boards.
Nominated in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance.
At first, there was this thought in the back of my head that somehow, everything you wrote in the first scene was made of… uncertainty. It wasn’t the uncertainty of “should we continue this,” but more of “am I really feeling this for you?” You made it clear that their infidelity (I think that term is too strong, but the other options were cheating, betrayal or unfaithfulness) wasn’t really in their minds. You made it look like it was a sort of mutual understanding that’s long overdue; to the pair, each was a second lover – and somehow, it made everything all right. But then again, there was this uncertainty hanging over them - the delicate details like Hermione’s gaze towards the couple in the boat, and Harry’s indifference when he sat across her on the picnic blanket. It was like there was this crack in the air, and both of them didn’t know if it was safe to want to catch whatever comes out of it. It’s like that cut in the air that acts as a door to another world in The Golden Compass Trilogy – its right there but anyone could barely see it.
And then the first scene ended, and I thought how chillingly beautiful your description was. Describing their time together as a comfortable interval where they’re enveloped with feelings of safety. It was so much like Harry and Hermione. With their respective partners, both pairs would be, erm, explosive (more so with Ron and Hermione, but in a gentle way with Harry and Ginny). But with them, Harry and Hermione, all I can see is this calm, sweet stream with the occasional current - strong, but never aggressive.
The most wonderful thing in your story was how their moments were never awkward. It showed so much of their character, of their maturity, of everything consisting in their relationship ever since the beginning. They accepted what was in front of them; neither denying what was between them. Like a welcome to the inevitable. That was what was convincing – the lack of awkwardness.
When I read the last sentence, I was positive that this is one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever read. It was just so simple, so humbling. It said so much about the whole world behind their relationship. I don’t think you could have ended it any better. You linked it back to those lovers on the boat, somehow marking a connection and a statement: that love is as simple as you make it to be. But in this story’s case, lust was more in the center. Still, I think love was still involved, because if it was just lust, they would have gone for someone else – someone of less importance. I imagined, though, that this would continue throughout their lives. Silently seeking each other’s comforting touch from time to time, when their lovers weren’t enough to satisfy them.
I was curious, so I listened to the song you used. I have to admit that the last part made me teary eyed. Julia, you have such an amazing gift for poetry. In the whole of the story, all I thought was how lyrical each sentence, each word was. Everything was made of raw emotions, like a river of feelings constantly running through every gap possible. And I realized the funny thing behind this was the absence of guilt.
Such a pleasure reading this. Thanks for writing this. I enjoyed it a lot. :-)
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Dinny. I love how you picked up on all the nuances of what I love about Harry/Hermione, not just as lovers, but as friends. I guess this fic treads that line carefully. I didn't want it to just be about two people who shouldn't be together falling into bed. It's more a showcase of who they are, stripped down to the bare essentials.
You're right, it's about lust as much as it is about love and yet with these two, love can never be out of the picture because we know they love each other, too. Whether that love could stretch further into the realms of something else is always something the fandom will debate haha.
Thank you for such a lovely review, Dinny. I'm so sorry for not responding sooner!
Summary: You have been waiting for that one moment of joy for your whole life. That one moment is all that you have ever wanted. Then it passes you by and all hope is lost.
An amazing, moving story, Alyssa! Repeat that in your mind a few hundred times, then you'll know how great it was. Personally, I was expecting a sequel. I wonder how it turned out with that little girl. The quote, "they take it for advantage" (something like that, right?) really stucked with me. The concluded sentence, that's what I call it.
"The spark in his eyes were gone."
Ah, I just love that part, too, especially when the girl finds out that the spark came back because of a GIRL. Even I'm getting mad. Wizards just don't understand what kind of great blessing has come in their way! And they all take it for granted. There's really nothing else to say except that this fic you've written is brilliant, don't ever doubt that you're a good writer, and there's nothing to critcise about this fic! It's absolutely amazing. End of.
Author's Response: I thought I responded to this already! This thing about the girl made me mad too! They really don't understand. At all. We Muggles would make better wizards. Thank you so much for the compliments. =)
Summary: Jemzi Zabini is the seventeen year old daughter of Blaise Zabini and his wife Harper, and is about to join her fellow witches and wizards at Hogwarts for their final school year. Jemzi is famous for being the once best friend of Albus Potter. However, a mysterious argument last year that only the two of them were witness to has ruined their friendship and they are now practically enemies. No one knows the reason for their fall out, only that it has caused a great divide in their friendship group.
Jemzi's best friend and Albus' cousin, Rose, suspects that their friendship expired because of strange and unwanted feelings between them. Feelings which, despite their fall out, have not gone away. Feelings that are similar to those she has for a certain Slytherin...
So can the next generation of Hogwarts students learn to forget past actions and forgive?
Nominated for "Best Next Generation Story" and "Best Other Character" in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards
This story features Harry Potter, Ginny Potter, Lily Potter, Luka Krum, Blaise Zabini, Harper Zabini, Zacharias Smith, Leon Holmwood, Tristan Wells, Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Jemzi and Albus plus many more.
Dearest dearest Belledeg,
I was planning to leave a great, humongous review when this story ends, but my lovely friend, Alyssa (ron lover), is so obssessed with your story that she asked me to request:
"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MORE TRISTAN/LEON!! PLEEAAAAASEEEE!"
Yeah, that's not how she exactly said it, but there's the point :D Seriously, please have more tristan/leon; Alyssa's like, rereading your story for how many times just to get some clues about the pairing... XD
As for me, I ADORE Rose/Scorpius. I just entirely love the scene that you wrote about them. You, Belledeg, are a fantastic writer. Keep up the excellent job!
Dinny and Alyssa
Author's Response: Will do. Plenty of Leon and Tristan in the finale. Glad you both enjoy, it means a lot for the slash pairing to get some love :D <3
Summary: It's Dudley Dursley's fifth birthday party, and Aunt Marge has just whacked Harry around the shins for doing too well at musical statues. Sad and lonely, Harry takes comfort in the small daisies that are littered at his feet. However, for one adult watching, the child's actions cause less than comforting memories to resurface.
That was a lovely, short read, Sarah. I enjoyed it very much. It was like reading from one of JKR’s lost papers (lol here).
The thing that struck me the most is the flow of the story. It was really well written. The scenes flowed with each other, complimenting and taking the importance of the whole vibrancy of it. The detailed description of the first scene was very lovely. Harry’s mood was clear just by describing what formation he was in.
His hands were clutching his sore shins that still bore the throbbing, angry red marks that Aunt Marge’s walking stick had left.
That bit impressed me. I loved that bit; the incorporation of someone else’s involvement, especially from a canon character, was a wonderful flair.
The whole atmosphere was like a memory to me – like I’ve read this somewhere before. Aunt Petunia was too much in IC, especially when she remembered something about her childhood with Lily. Her reactions were powerful enough to influence the thoughts going through her mind, enacting her to say those cruel words. It was an excellent character study for Petunia Dursely.
Harry – he was incredibly well written. Every detail concerning his enviousness of Dudley, his innocence over Petunia’s burst of anger, and his wandering thoughts about his parents and ‘what if’s’ was, in my opinion, phenomenal. His childishness and the trait that made him ‘Harry’ was present, and ever more enhanced into much detail. I absolutely love it. The taunting of Dudley and his friends was a mere spot on the story, but it made the scenes more real. The party on the whole was never ignored, and that was very attentive of you to keep control on the characters on the scene.
The playing of the flowers was adorable, too. You didn’t forget about the whole point of Harry Potter – he’s a wizard. One with the unique abilities to perform magic, and this scene was an exceptional detail contributing to that. The story didn’t lose its ‘magical-ness’; the mood was just perfectly normal, suiting the plot.
Overall, the quality of the story was uniform all throughout. The style of the writing was superb – you kept it neat and clean, surpassing the border between ‘boredom’ and ‘creativity’. Everything was creative, original, and extremely in-tune with JKR’s own writing. You have a superb talent for writing, Sarah. Use it well. Remember, with great power comes with great responsibility. :D (I hated Spiderman 2). I hope you get to update your chaptered stories! :-)
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for the amazing review, Dinny! What a lovely thing to see in the morning when you're still feeling a little ill. Sarah x
Scorpius had never looked forward to anything the way he looked forward to leaving Hogwarts with Rose. He planned a holiday with no friends, no family, and nothing to do but be together—until a tampered Portkey changed their destination.
I don't usually submit a review twice for one story, but my conscience is telling me that in this one, I should.
This chapter is very... um, seducing? LOL. It's somewhere between those lines. Anyway, you just HAD to put a cliffie. Make the third chapter fast please? :) I hope they're going to have an adventure or something. Maybe even meet someone that's trying to get Rose from Scorpius. Haha! My imagination's running away again...
Don't keep your fans waiting too long! :)
Thank you so much, Dinny, for reviewing again! Some writers might be lofty individuals who could care less whether anyone gives feedback, but most of us crave it like Scorpius craves "togetherness" with Rose. :D
Yes, you're right, I had to put in the cliffie, and one of the perks of that is it's really easy for me to jump back into the scene and keep on writing!
There will definitely be adventure.
I can't believe mu luck that I found this story just after 3 days that I finished 'Our little Secret'!
I absolutely love your story and I am absolutely anticipating this sequel. I hope it won't take you long to write the rest of the story! By the way, would you feel somewhat angry if I make a story of Scorpius and Rose too? Because there's just not enough of that genre. And you've inspired me to make a fanfic :)
I'm glad you found the story too!
I'd be thrilled if you wrote a Scorpius and Rose story. The world will never have enough stories, and the NextGen category only has 43 total right now, so if you add to it, you'll make lots of readers happy.
Thank you for saying I inspired you. You've inspired me to smile from ear to ear!
Growing up as Albus Potter was not an easy task, and being the son of the Chosen One wasn't a piece of cake, either. Expectations of greatness have the startling ability to crush someone, especially an eleven-year-old boy.
Join Albus Potter in his rocky journey to adulthood and what it's like to live, to learn, to love, to lose, and to be the middle child.
This story is going to be epically long, and yes, I will update. It may not come as fast as the updates to The Vindication of James Potter did, as I'm posting this as I write it, but I do promise that this story will not fall victim to apathy. Hopefully, you enjoy this story if you decide to read it. :)
Did the sky just fall down?! Because, Good Godric, you've finally updated! I think that deserves a halellujah in my book.
I'm getting to see what your Rose is, and I'll admit, I'm loving it. I really like how she has so much of Ron in her, and less of Hermione. You're writing Albus as a child, and how you did it is very creative. Getting lost in Hogwarts (I got lost in my school back at my country), then crying because no one was with him. How do you think of these things? I personally love the interaction between Snape and him. Not many fics seem to make them meet. Severus is his namesake, and figuring out exactly what kind of person he was named after is an adventure to also figuring out what kind of person you would be.
As always, good job! I hope for more updates to come, and goodluck!
Honestly, it isn't that hard to step into the mind of a child. If I got lost in a great big castle, I'd probably cry, and I'm twenty-five. I can only imagine how terrifying that is for an eleven year old, let alone one that doesn't particularly deal well with change.
I thought that it was important for Albus to learn about the legacy which surrounds his name. Snape may have technically been a hero, but he was still a jerk, rotten to children, and was a traitor before he was anything. Albus will definitely need to chat with Harry about this one day.
Rose is, well...Rose. She does have a bit of both her mum and dad, but ultimately, she's her own person. She's a bit bossy, yes, but she's the eldest sibling, so that sort of comes with that territory. She also cares about Albus like her brother...maybe a bit more than her brother, because she knows what he's like and feels the need to protect him.
Well, anywho, thanks for reading, and I hope to update a bit faster next time. Moving sucks!
Nice to see some changes around the castle! Paid house-elves, next they'll be asking a raise or more rags to cover their filthy feet (I'm just being a merciless pure-blood here). I have read a fic that portrays Al as a someone who fears heights. Honestly, I quite like that idea. It gives him his own personality, and all that. I also like the part where Al conceives the idea that Neville as a clutz would be so ludicrous. It just gives more emphasis in the change that Neville went through. From a scared little boy to a brave, true Gryffindor.
I just want to say that I love every single detail I see in your fic. Truly the mark of a real HP fan-author. Striving to be as good as JKR. Whoops, another scene just pooped out of the sky and into my head! Must draw the scene now! Glad you've updated fast! More to come please? :)
Aw, thank you, love. :)
I will say that, from the minute I read the Epilogue, no matter how I felt about the actual piece in general, I had a clear picture in my head as to what Albus would be. One of the biggest stereotypes is that all of Harry's kids play Quidditch, but it just seems like too many Weasleys and Potters and not enough anyone else. Someone has to be the bookish one, and someone's got to be the self-absorbed one. To me, writing them like this makes them feel more real, and I'm glad you agree.
I do strive to be the best I can be. Sure, I can't say that I am or will ever be as good as JRK, but that doesn't mean that I won't try.
Thanks for the review after a long day at work. It makes me feel happy before I head off to bed. Take care, and happy writing.
Hi there! I don't know if what I'm about to say is good news or bad news to you. But its definitely bad news to me.
My self-esteem just went down the drain. You see, I've been trying, really trying to make a next generation fan fiction. I've already titled it 'Catch a falling star' but then this-- this absolute promising story comes up. I mean, how could you?!
Lol, am I going too far? Sorry about that. Anyway, I have to say I love the way you write. It's not awkward or repetitive. Good job! :) I don't have a way with words but I just really, really like how you wrote Albus. But I highly disagree with having science as his nemesis! You know why? Because I LOVE IT. I breathe it. I sleep with it. Har, har.
You'll update fast, right?
Oh, no! Don't let me kill your own story! Last September, I said something along these lines in a review of my own, and the author of that fic told me that I should write my story no matter what, because every story should be told. I'm going to pass that along to you. It doesn't matter how good you think it is or isn't. In fact, in my own first story, I got a pretty bad review after my second chapter, but I didn't stop writing. Now, nine months later, I have 16 stories published on this site, one of them actually longer than Goblet of Fire, and numerous short stories.
Keep at it. I guarantee that you'll never be sorry that you did.
I do try hard not to repeat words and phrases, but still not seem like I'm talking out of a thesaurus. It takes a lot of practise, but like all writing skills, you'll learn by doing.
Albus is my absolute favourite character. Even though he spent a grand total of ten minutes in the series, I know him in my mind like people know close friends or even siblings. Even though it will probably take a couple of years to finish this story, with how long it's gearing up to be, this was definitely one tale that needed to be told. I adore Next-Generation, as it's the proverbial final frontier in the Potterverse, and I'm really glad that you enjoy my rendition of this untapped resource.
And as for science, I love science, but Al is more of a maths man in my head. He likes clear cut things with a definite answer that he just needs to find. This is why, further in his life, he pursues a career that allows him to utilise that particular strength of his.
And as for updates, this is one story that I'm writing as I go. I've never done that before, as my last story, I wrote half of it before I ever started submitting. I think once every two weeks or so is probably a decent timeframe for updates, possibly three weeks, depending on how many other projects I have going on.
Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I'm always excited to have new readers aboard. Take care and happy reading.
The Sorting Hat song is a great piece of work. You should be proud of it! I know I couldn't do it half as good as you did. I love the part where Scorpius's sorting took up a lot of time, it just showed that he had to lot to offer in each house (that's how I took it anyway). And also, I love the part where Rose dumps him in the lake. I've always expected her as to someone very opinionated, and fiery. She is Ron's daughter, after all. I was surprise at the sudden change of character Scorpius showed. From digesting Muggle medicine to calling muggleborns as mudbloods. It's interesting how you're cooking him up.
As always, I adore your Albus. You're talented... great... blah blah. Is it nice to rub it in? LOL.
Lastly, I want to thank you for the support, and inspiration you've given me in my last review here. It has fueled me to write three chapters of my first ever fic. I'll soon be posting the first one, and I want you to know that I'm dedicating that first chapter to you. So that you'll know how much you've helped me. It made me feel... worth the trouble to paid attention to. Something like that :)
I felt like I waited for months for your update. Faster, please? :D
I knew that I wasn't going to get away with not having a Sorting song of my own, so I just studied past Sorting songs, and that's what came out. :)
Scorpius's Sorting and his confusing switching of character are most definitely linked together. If you can't tell, he will ultimately be a large part of this story. And it goes without saying that Rose, also, is an intrugal part of Albus's life, as she has been Al's best friend for years, so she's going to have a lot of face time. But ultimately, this story really is about Albus and how he develops as a human being. when this story is finished, you will be amazed how far he came in that time, but hopefully I can continue to build his character up to that point.
And I am more than happy to give you friendly nudges to get you writing. I actually went through your review page, and to my surprise, you had also read/reviewed Our Little Secret by Kerichi (Paige). Ironically enough, she was the one that I mentioned who encouraged me. I didn't think I could remotely come close to writing anything worth reading, but she taught me that I would never know until I tried. I'm glad to see that you're trying, and I look forward to seeing you in the queue soon. My next advice is for you to know where you want your story to go before you submit your first chapter. You have no idea how much pressure there is to update with quality material when you don't even know how you want your fic to end. Updating in general is quite a task, which is why I normally write a ton of chapters before I even think about submitting it. You, of course, don't have to do this, but you just might find that, once you get further on, something from earlier chapters might need changed or tweaked a little. I know I changed a ton of stuff in The Vindication of James Potter once I got post Chapter 12, mostly to make sure that my story lined up with itself.
Anyway, sorry about the rambling. I just woke up and can hardly see the screen, so I feel entitled, lol. Take care and happy writing. I really appreciate you reading my story and finding it worthy to be inspiration to write one of your own.
P.S. - About how often this story will be updated, this one, I'm sorry to say, is a secondary project of mine, to be worked on in the off times when I'm not writing for challenges. Plus, I have to wait four or so days for my beta to send it back to me (the person who reads/double-checks my grammar and stuff) so I can submit. Henceforth, realistically, the quickest I'll probably update is two weeks or so. Once my work schedule becomes more cemented, I'll probably be able to crank out a few chapters in succession on a couple of my days off, but I really can't promise anything. I truly am sorry about that. Oh, and months? It's been precisely one week, lol.
I was going to wait for the next chapter to reply to what you just said, but.. I guess I couldn't wait. You don't mind, right? (I'll assume that you don't) I'll follow you in that advise of yours. So it'll take me about three months to post my first chapter. Woooow, that's long.
I have to tell you that I'm pretty embarrassed that you read my other reviews, 'cause I didn't go over it so it had typos and whatever it is that's ugly. Oh, and was it only a week? Huh. It really felt like a month. Maybe its because I'm lazing around in the house with nothing to do (I have a total of five months of summer vacation - no, I'm not suspended). I need help about those beta thingies. I absolutely don't know how to get one and what to do. Is it all right if I email you about my newbie problems? I get really confused when I go over the beta boards.
I'm sorry if this isn't the kind that's suppose to be in a review, but I'm kind of new here, and I'm also running out of shame. And did you know there's a song called 'written in the stars'? Its by Elton John. One of my favorite songs, too. I 'reckon' (hah, see what I did there) that you listen to it.
Thank you so much, and good luck writing! :D
Haha, by all means, I shall help you!
No worries about being shaky on reviews. You've only written a few, so naturally, they're not going to be epic or anything. My first 100 reviews were, quite frankly, crap. I had no idea what constituted a quality review until I actually GOT a guality review, along with some advice about how to give one. Typos are simply a part of it, since it's not possible to edit once you've sent. It sucks, and we've all been entreating the mod staff to figure out some way to make that possible, but of course, it hasn't happened yet, lol.
To find a beta, click on the Beta Forums link in the blue Navigation Bar on the left side of the screen. From there, it gets a bit more daunting. You'll have to register for the forums in order to post.
Next, you'll need to send a PM (personal message) to the username Sorting Hat. No, I'm not kidding, lol. Title your message "Requesting a Sorting Quiz" and put something along that lines in the message as well. The mods monitor that account, and they Sort all applicants within a couple weeks. While you don't technically HAVE to get Sorted to post, none of your posts will appear until a mod manually approves them, but when you're Sorted, your posts will appear right away.
Once you're done with that, go ahead and scroll down the main page of the forum to the Beta Wanted forum . This is where you post your open request for a beta, and one will come to you! You don't have to know anyone; you simply post a new thread (even if you're not Sorted...it'll just take a few hours for it to pop up). Before you start a new thread, though, there is a Please Read Before Posting thread in that forum that you should check out. It will have instructions on how to post and in exactly what format. It may sound strict, but it will make it more likely that you'll get the right beta for you. I do recommend, though, that you ask in your request for a beta who is Perfect Imagination accredited. What this means is that they've taken a test from an outside source, certifying that they are strong enough in grammar and all that to help you. While it's not necessary and there are good betas who aren't accredited, you really shouldn't take the chance on people who you dont know until you're certain enough about your work to make the determination on how much help you'll really need. You can probably send everything you've written so far to the beta you eventually choose, and they can help you with not only grammar, but with characterisation and plot, as well.
I know that's probably information overload for you, but it's not so hard once you get the hang of it. If you do have any questions, please either email me at AvsNo26Rocks@aol.com or PM me at this same username on the Beta Boards. I'm more than happy to help with guidance in that area, but I think you'll probably do fine.
Good luck, and I hope you get into the House you want. I'm a Ravenclaw myself, but all of the Houses have great members (though Hufflepuff has the most).
How easy it was to break them.
All it took was a smile, a few good conversations, and some daredevilry on your part to take risks and do the impossible.
I got who the pairings were when he said, "Then, we became friends." The summary drew me in. Nicely done! :) Do I hear any coming multi-chaptered fics from you in the near future? Hope so. Your style is...(what's a synonym for great? 'cause I always use 'great') very nice. (hah, that's lame of me).
oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY [Jess]! :D
Author's Response: Hello Dinny!
Haha! Actually, I knew the pairing was going to be obvious. ;) I wanted it to be obvious. And really glad you liked my summary, because my summaries don't usually work. :(
Yes, a chaptered Mystery is coming up, but it's not Rose/Scorpius. It's an adventure featuring Scorpius' seriously cool aunt, Daphne. :D
Thanks for the review!
Summary: You spent your life preparing for the worst, and you thought you were ready.
But the worst has come. The worst is here. You know you aren’t ready. You aren’t even close to ready.
The Character Death tag is just implied, not actually during the fic.
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Harry. Potter.
Hi there Megan!
I told you I would check it out :) Here I go!
I realized it was Scrimgeour at the line, "Soon you became Department Head." Then I realized what canon scene you were writing at the line, "You were prepare to fight." This is a short scene, but I like it. You painted a very vivid scene, Megan. Not in the physical way, but in an emotional way. You've captured the way that Scrimgeour is: over confident.
"Despite your training, a shot of panic runs through you. You quell it. Fear of what is to come will do nothing for you."
I like those lines. You seem to give him his downfall here as an Auror. I wish I could tell you precisely what I think about this chapter, but sadly, I'm poor with words. Boo. I hope you don't mind a little bit of criticism, but I think it would have been nicer to end the chapter by the killing curse. Yeah, really morbid, but final. Good job :)
Author's Response: Thankee, Dinny! I almost decided to end it with the killing curse, but I decided not to at the last moment. I'm not really sure why now, but I like the way the end was kind of open feeling, with just the hopefulness as the last thing the reader sees.
Summary: Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. Sparks fly. Dreadfully romantic, wouldnâ€™t you agree? Well, that depends on your definition of â€˜sparksâ€™ - or the boy and girl involved. No, Iâ€™m afraid this isnâ€™t one of your typical clichÃ©d romances; itâ€™s the other one. So take a seat and get comfortable. Youâ€™re in for quite a ride.
That was incredibly entertaining! And I don't just go around saying that to everyone else, I assure you. The little details in your narration makes up a completely, well-thought of flow.
"The ice in his steel-grey eyes belies the tumultuous emotions frozen within."
"It had me entirely riveted and snickering into my hands with glee, but back to the story..."
Really, these details are fantastic! My examples may only have been two, and I may be too lazy to look at the other quotes that I like, but I love your style. You provide entertainment in the department of comedy, and you deliver the plot of Draco's story so well that it almost makes it seem like it's happening right this very second.
I have a question for you. Are you a hundred something years old that used to tell stories centuries ago, long before there was no light to overcome the rythm of night time stories? Or are you a desescendant of someone like that? The many adjectives, and facts about Muggle terms says that you're very intelligent, and excells in writing. I'm not much of Draco/Ginny shipper, bt I'm looking forward to this very much.
Author's Response: Wow, what a humbling-inspired review. Thank you so very much. I'm especially happy that I managed to ensnare a non-D/G shipper. I hope I can placate any fears by letting you know that it's not a typical romance. More of an enemies coming to an understanding fic. ^_~
To answer your question: I'm not a hundred or something years old. Lol. I guess I just picked up a lot of my Muggle terms from reading and such (as Don Quixote is a favourite of mine). But, thank you so much for your compliments. I'm glad you're liking this particular narrative style. The story is already complete, I'm just waiting for validation on chapters. Hopefully, the second chapter will be up soon.
br<> Thank you again. ^_^ ~Lia
You must a Literature Major or Professor, or maybe you just like to read (I like to read but I'm not that smart.. :| )
Ahhh, another good chapter. I was going to say Harry = OOC, but I guess you justified yourself in the end :D The "long-lost ginger twin". HAHAHAHAH, brillliant!
The sad thing is, there's not gonna be any romance, isn't there? Sad face!
Author's Response: Heheh. I never took English Lit as a major. My majors were History and Political Science. Hehe. But thank you so much for the compliments.
Harry was rather annoying in this chapter. I do not like making him that way, but the prompt called for it. Ugh. I love Harry. I figured this was a good way to fulfill the prompt (have Draco fight Harry to defend Ginny's honour) and to have Ginny dote on Draco. ^^
Who says there won't be a romance or a hint at one? Oh, I don't think my hint at romance is what is going to make you want to kick my arse in the end. The last two chapters will. Hehe. ^^ Thanks again for your ego-boosting reviews. ^^ ~Lia
I'm pretty bad with like, "excellent" reviews, so I'm sorry about this. I'm the kind of fan that'll go, "ZOMG, WHAT'S NEXt?!?!?!!11"
It's very interesting that you go to the (sorry about the following words) frequently, but not that much, used cliche of Draco joining the Order, though I'd really like to know what's the reason behind why Ginny was suppose to be with him.
That was a good cliff hanger, by the way. Still being funny, I see. Sometimes, I don't know what category this fic should be in. D/A? AU? Humour? Nah, just.. Draco/Ginny, really.
Anyway, I don't get why this doesn't get much attention; your writing is fab (hah, fab). Sooo, hope to hear from you soon (again)! Sayonara, Lia-kun!
p.s. You're British-ized. Good job :) I hope I get, too. XD And I get an aura from you that you're an anime fan..?
Author's Response: Lol, interesting review. While I'm sure there are many many cliches in this story, it's not one where Draco joins the Order. You'll have to wait and see what it will be. ^_~ It really does fit into a lot of categories, but, like you said, it's really D/G (although, it's not really a romance). ^^
I suppose I am British-ised, lol, but I'm not British. So, I'm sure my work could be picked apart by those who are.
Thank you so much for your lovely comments. You really know how to flatter a girl. ^_^
P.S. You read my aura correctly. I am an anime fan. ^_~