Wow! I really like the sound of this (plus, its Hr/Dr so it must be good :p)
I like the different scenes that you’ve put into this first chapter, and I hope we get to find out about the characters a bit more in subsequent chapters.
I’ve just finished reading The Sweetest Sin and that was amazing too! :D
I didn't know you wrote poetry, but this is all really good! You have a really unique style :)
Only one pick... the capitalisation of "Who" is quite inconsistent, so be careful of that in future. :)
*will go read more if there is any*
Author's Response: There is more but none of it is that great. I started writing poetry on MNFF like 2 years ago, so most of it is quite immature and childish. I honestly have improved since then (or I hope I have)!
Woo i found this story!!! :D I read chapter one a while ago but lost it....I'm now rereading it, this is fab!!
Update soon!This is soooo good!I like the way you keep adding little bits in where Hermione and Draco, or should i say DRAMIONE (haha) are getting along quite well...
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! All those little moments that Dramione experiences will lead to a bigger one! Look for Chapter 12--it's in queue and should be up soon! It's SHORTER than the rest of the chapters though...!
Heh...good one. Well I guess Umbridge got what she deserved! *hates Umbridge*
I like the way you've filled in some of the gaps in her life..well done!
A good first chapter! I'm interested to see how this fic will turn out so I'm going to read more, and this is a really cool idea too! I've just read all of 'Somewhere I have never travelled' so far, and its fab too, so I thought I'd check this out
Good start! And I think you have really good ideas on the whole concept of time and everything....*goes off to read more* :D
Love the end...teehee. I've never read a Hermione/Tom fic, so this is a first, and its kinda strange but funny. A good read!
eeep....a slightly tense chapter.... can't wait to see the nighttime run-in! lol
Tom Riddle the human being is really weird, but I love the character that you've created! I'm starting the really like this story! woo!
Who catches her??? I can guess.....eeeppp...loving this fic, please please please update soon!!!
Author's Response: Lol you don\'t expect me to actually tell you who caught her, do you? Well alright, I will give you a hint... it wasn\'t Christoph. ;)
Eeeep I've read this fic so many times and never realised that I hadn't reviewed!! This is oh sooo sweet! I really like the way you've adapted the hospital wing scene to add this bit in. And you've made it so realistic!
I love the picture you've created here...wooo Remus/Tonks rule :D :D 10/10 definitely!!! Well Done!!
I love Snape being a good guy...he is SOOOO innocent in the real thing too! This is the best post HBP fic i've read so far! Hope you update soon, cant stand the cliffie!
Author's Response: I definitely believe Snape is a good guy (or at the very least, NOT on Voldemort's side). I loved the idea of the Unbreakable Vow, I thought it was the perfect justification for Snape's protection of Harry throughout the books.
Wow! This is the first fic i've read since end of book 6 and this is soooooooooo good! Why the cliffy? Is Ursula good cos she's starting to look evil now...nice to keep the suspense!:-) Plz keep writing, cant wait for next chappy!
Author's Response: Is Ursula good or bad? You'll see..... *evil laughter*
Go Narcissa!I just wish she'd been a tiny bit braver and she could have kick Bella and Lucius out forever!lol Good fic!
This is really cute! I don't usually read Harry/Ginny fics but the title of this one caught my attention and I'm glad I didn't giev it a miss....its fantastic!!
hahaha...this is really fun! Cool idea...slightly icky..Madame Pince and Filch!!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I got such a kick out of writing and breaking from the drama of my other fic. I don\'t know what came over me to write a Pince/Filch romance though. It is kinda gross.
Hey hon … I thought it was high time that I reviewed one of your awesome fics! This one has been a favourite for quite a while now so … *giggle*
Well first of all, I have to say that I totally love your style of writing! The way that you split this story up into small (and readable) chunks works brilliantly, and makes the whole narrative so much more intense. I love your poetic tone and your way of story telling; I could tell that each word has been carefully chosen and fits perfectly within the structure of the story.
Regulus Black had spent most of his life listening at keyholes
I really like the way that this small statement jumps straight into the story and tells us both about the present and about the past. It also seems to give emphasis to how small childhood activities can sometimes (and surprisingly) come in useful later in life; something that we appreciate in RL too. This opening caught my attention immediately and kept me reading, well done!
… and it had a sibilant, hissing undertone, which sounded somehow green and slithering and made Regulus think of snakes.
This comparison is really quite intriguing! It’s understandable, given Voldemort’s associations with snakes and his ability to speak Parseltongue, that even his voice sounds snake-like. Similarly for me, this emphasised the fact that what Voldemort was saying to Snape was something very secret that others weren’t not meant to know, and that Regulus was no meant to be caught eavesdropping on. Wow ..
— it would not do to have weeks of careful planning ruined by mis-timed exhalation
I love this, love it! It’s great to see the imperfect side of the situation – how sometimes plans don’t go accordingly as a result of something really quite trivial like this. Love the dry humour of it!
He listened, and planned, and waited, and wondered about Gryffindors.
The sentence kind of made me think … the listening, the planning and the waiting parts all seem decidedly Slytherin – the ambitious and cunning aspects etc. Then the wondering about Gryffindors … is Regulus wondering about a particular Gryffindor (Sirius), or about the qualities that Gryffindors possess such as extreme bravery, which oddly enough Regulus is actually exhibiting? Is he wondering whether he would have made a good Gryffindor? I also like how this carries on into the next part of the piece, very nicely done. :)
(He could not bear, now, even to look for long at her snapping black eyes, lest she discern his feelings about his 'noble cause', or the plans he was making to rid himself of it.)
This is one of my favourite lines. You’ve done a great job with Regulus’ characterisation through this story. Here, I like the way that you’ve portrayed his steady change of attitude towards his mother as well as his mother’s own changes in personality. I can picture quite clearly a younger Regulus, full of respect for the mother who would tell him all about his pure-blood status and his ‘noble cause’. This contrasts so well with his now almost ‘forbidden’ feelings against this cause – though I like the way that Regulus still expresses fear towards his mother, which is both realistic and understandable.
… he would whisper to himself, when no one was about (for Sirius would laugh in that way of his, and his parents would not understand), that the Heart of the Lion would prevail.
I love this idea of “Heart of the Lion”; it seems to suggest that Regulus might be ‘destined’ for Gryffindor. It gives us a deeper insight into his character, in that he seems to believe that Gryffindor is almost a right/almost inevitable, given how he has been named.
I felt that this part of the story in particular, is extremely well written. This blunt statement of “ He was Sorted into Slytherin” provides such a sharp contrast/plunge into reality against Regulus’ blind hope that one can discern a powerful, tangible disappointment coming from him.
The look on Sirius' face was enough of a cross to bear
This line especially, gives greater emphasis on the ‘unfairness’ of the situation. Regulus, who secretly hoped so much to be Sorted into the same house as his brother, who never though that his brother would understand his hopes – this conjures regret and really powerful emotions. Great work. :)
… in the tension that stretched, almost tangible, in every room, and snapped taut like a wire when anyone spoke.
The analogy of ‘taut like wire’ here is amazing. I love your descriptions and poetic tones! This gives a sense of everything in the household being ‘on the edge’ – with a possibility that the slightest comment could be the one that snaps this wire and creates conflict.
'The Most Modern and Ignoble House of Sirius Black, Toujours Poor'
I love this – the truth and humour behind it is awesome. It seems as if Regulus is seeing (almost wistfully), what it is like to be Sirius, to be free and laugh about one’s situation even when away from family. It also feels like Regulus is somewhat too late; he is laughing like Sirius does but there is no one there to hear him or appreciate it.
One of my favourite aspects within this story is its transgression between scenes. I love the arrangement of memories here; you’ve picked out some very important ones for Regulus. This first scene of Regulus torturing a Muggleborn indicates a pivotal change in his life, and yet at the same time, this change is not as certain. You’ve made a very sharp contrast between Regulus – who is still unsure about things and is in essence goaded into torture by Bellatrix, and Bellatrix herself who appears much more cruel from an earlier age.
The only thing in this story that I am slightly uncertain about is your description of the Muggleborn girl. Although the description of the eyes (almost in a completely different place to the rest of the scene/story) is effectively compelling, it seems a bit too much or over emphasised. I think that a little less description f the eyes here might improve the flow of the prose slightly.
Again, I will reiterate, your characterisation of Regulus in this story is superb. His uncertainty throughout the piece has shone through both powerful and realistic. It seems to me as if Regulus is ‘stuck’; in between both worlds of the light and dark, never truly accepted into either, which is such a disappointment. He is not cruel enough to be a proper Death Eater, and yet his fear at the end of the story: trembling, uncertainly… seems to suggest that even here there is doubt at whether what he is doing, what he has planned for so long, is correct.
And of course, there is still this fantastic line:
Sirius, he thought. He grinned, wide. Top this.
Having been in Sirius’ shadow for so much of life, I felt comforted on seeing Regulus finally step out of it. And here also, it seems that this story has turned full circle. Just as his childhood experiences in eavesdropping help to aid the downfall of Voldemort in this final line Regulus again seems to regress back to childhood, as if all of this is some competition in daring and bravery with Sirius.
This story is exceptionally well written with powerful scenes and vivid gems of memories! You’ve done a great job; your tone of writing has really shone through. Well done!
&& just in case you’re wondering why this review is so long and rambly … I’m currently on a bioscience research placement. It just so happened today that there was nobody to guide me in what I was doing, so basically from about nine to half five, I had a six page paper to read and that was it. For the whole day. *facepalms and dies of boredom* So I sat and wrote you a review by hand. :D *dies* Hope some of it made sense anyway. :)
A really good 'character study' of Lucius! Nice to see he's still as evil...grr. A really interesting read!
Author's Response: Thanks. I\'m glad you enjoyed it.
Wow...this is a really good one shot! I really like the way you've protrayed Draco's character, I don't think he's evil either...but if Greyback bit him does that mean he's part werewolf in this fic?