Oh gosh, this was fabulous! True to character AND cute without being sickening! And so funny! After having just gone through a nasty break-up, this somehow makes me feel good about relationships again.
I somehow have the feeling that the huge smile on my face is a dead giveaway to any of my coworkers that I am not doing what I'm supposed to be doing!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it and it could make you feel a little better about relationships again! And your co-workers are just jealous that they're not reading fanfiction, too! ;)
Alexandra Quick returns to Charmbridge Academy for eighth grade, angry and in denial. Unwilling to accept the events of the previous year, she is determined to fix what went wrong, no matter what the cost. When her obsession leads her to a fateful choice, it is not only her own life that hangs in the balance, for she will uncover the secret of the Deathly Regiment!
This is the third book in the Alexandra Quick series.
I don't have much to say - I just wanted to let you know that I love Innocence! What a character in every sense of the word!
First, thank you for sharing an entertaining story with us! I can certainly see this happening.
Two points, though:
1.) I find it hard to believe that Hermione is the only Muggleborn witch to have attempted magic before reaching Hogwarts. In fact, I would think that Muggleborns would be PARTICULARLY prone to it, as the entire issue likely seems very exciting, and they are unlikely to know about the Statute of Secrecy.
2.) There was one rather serious typo: "and you certainly are going to be sent to prison,” Mrs. Jans said in a frightened..." I believe you might want to add a not in there - "you certainly are not".
Overall, a good story!
Author's Response: Yeah! Time for rebutal! Let's see...first, just because a little kid has a wand doesn't mean they know how to use. And J.K. has mentioned that Hermione is one of the most powerful witches in her generations. Maybe successful wandwork before actual education is quite rare. And I also agree that Hermione was unlikely the first case of this, but more likely that Hermione is just the first case of such a sitution during the time the two Ministry officials have been employed. It's more a rhetoric thing than anything. As to the typo, I will fix that right away!
LOVE IT. Thanks for directing me here!
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for letting me know you read and liked. ~Carole~
Absolutely fascinating! I can't imagine this will always be an easy one to write, and I applaud you for taking on such a task! Your characters already show promising development, and the setting feels well-fleshed. I do hope you keep up with this.
Reading it, I couldn't help but think of the His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. There is a lot of ground to expand this story into.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. I am working on chapter two, and I have plan on having ten chapters upon completion (with a possible epilogue). I was very influenced by His Dark Materials when I wrote this! Those are some of my favorite books, and they're very thought provoking.
I'm loving the story! I feel like you're really getting into the swing of things, and the action is picking up. Also, a big THANK YOU for the very frequent updates!
I had often wondered what would happen to a Muggleborn from a traditional, conservative religious family; I'm glad to see someone exploring this subject.
Bravo, bravo! So beautifully written, so well built-up! I think I might have cheered some when he threw the door to the church open.
Author's Response: Totally! I definitely felt the moment as well :)
I love your Slytherin Rose! I think the pacing is great.
My only comment relates to Rose saying that she never did any magic before coming to Hogwarts - we already know that she duplicated all of her mother's History of Magic notes before school.
Author's Response: I love that you're reading it closely enough to catch stuff like that! I'm not sure I think it counts as an inconsistency-- Rose secretly did a charm in the few weeks between getting her wand and starting Hogwarts, which is a far cry from how much magic Liatris and Scorpius would have to have done for one of them to say "You know you can never match me at dueling." Andrei was the one who said that he'd never done any magic before Hogwarts-- Rose just said that you weren't allowed to, and heavily implied that her parents didn't let her. Anyway, thanks for the review! (Even if I'm responding a year late... lol.)
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy?
What does a boy do when his mother died giving birth to him and his father is an aloof ex-Death Eater?
Is there ever love between them? I say that there is.
This is a story about just that. This is a story about Severus’s Prince.
Not a bad chapter. I like your characterization, and your writing is smooth.
Now, I don't know a ton about babies, but I have covered developmental psychology, and some things about your little newborn seem off. For one, newborn babies can't focus on anything more than a little bit in front of their face, and laughter is a bit beyond them, I believe. Also, babies' eyes start out blue and then slowly change to their adult color over a few months. You can probably find a short summary of what happens at each stage - newborn, two months, six months, etc - on google if you're interested. :)
Author's Response: Yeah, I used a few different sites to get an idea about the development, but I wanted to showcase that he was not a normal child since he is a young wizard. Some of the things that Xavier does is a little behind his age, but according to the sites I saw, not too outrageous.
Besides, from reading Harry Potter, I got the impression that wizards and witches develop differently. For example, when Dumbledore went to tell Tom Riddle about Hogwarts, the head of the orphanage told Dumbledore that Tom was odd even as a baby. How he hardly cried and everything. For that reason, later on in my story I make a point to explain my idea that the reason Xavier seems to do something that he shouldn't be able to do at his age is because he is aided by magic.
In truth though, I didn't know it took months for the eyes to change. Though, I still like the idea that Xavier's changed so quickly, but I thank you for teaching me something new. :)
I hope you like the story enough to keep reading. And, keep the comments coming, I love feedback.
Aww, what a wonderful finish! I'm not sure if I ever reviewed any of the other chapters, but I've been faithfully following this one from the beginning. Thanks for a great story! I think you've convinced me to like the Lily/Scorpius pairing more than Rose/Scorpius. :)
One question: do they stay together? Please?
Author's Response: Hmm, well, I'm not sure I can answer in case I write a follow up. But ... um .... yes, I hope so. They're both still pretty young, though *sigh*, but most of the people I write get together older, so maybe these two can last. Thanks for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. ~Carole~
I love your writing! I can't wait to see how this ends. :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm sorry to make you wait, but hopefully you won't think it's too long.
Love it! This is a really great story. Please keep writing! :D
Author's Response: Thanks! So glad you like it so far.
While I'm certainly interested enough to continue reading, I'm not sure about where this is going. It is very angsty so far, with the martyred main characters and "everyone hates us" premise. I'm going to keep at it though, because it's at least interesting to read something different from the usual.
Author's Response: First off, thanks for the review. I know it can be angsty, but that's generally my style. :/ It is a bit ... different, but I"m glad you think it's out of the norm. Things will look up for a bit in the story, and I promise you it will have a (somewhat) happy ending. :) (Once I write it ....) Thanks again for the review!
Hermione gets the cat, the flat, the food, and the furniture. Ron gets the family and friends.
Harry gets the boot, his little book, the blame, and the shame. Ginny gets a new bloke and a haircut.
'The One' is an insidious myth, and 'Meant To Be' smacks of a hope to which no one has a right.
It's a shame the two of them bought into it for so long.
And it's too bad old habits are so hard to break.
Your prose is so fluid. Sometimes I get a little lost on who I'm following, but it's not overly disorienting, and the characterization is solid. I'm really enjoying this.
Author's Response: Thank you, Redwing,
I'm pleased you are enjoying it.
Thank you so much for reading and for the review.
Michael Corner muses on his short-lived relationship with Daphne Greengrass.
Originally a drabble written for the amazing Jess/ToBeOrNotToBe…in the SBBC's Musical Drabble Exchange. It was based off the song "Ain't that a B*tch" by Aerosmith and the title is taken from the lyrics of that song.
A big thank you to Natalie, the impeccably wonderful beta for this in its drabble form.
Winner of the 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Non-Canon Romance.
For how short it is, you pack a surprising amount of character into this. I'm not a fan of Michael Corner, but I'll freely admit that the moment I saw what song this was based on, I immediately put on the song and started reading. It was worth it. Thanks for a great read.
And can I just say that in over 10 years of that being one of my favorite songs off of Nine Lives, I never realized the words were "wrong turn"? Hahaha! Your fic is even educational.
Author's Response: You are so kind :) Thanks a lot for taking the time to review - and I'm glad my fic was educational as well (I'm horrible at recognizing lyrics in songs and probably wouldn't have known 'wrong turn' either had I not sneakily looked up the lyrics). xx Ariana
Daphne Greengrass had until her twenty-first birthday to pick a husband, or her parents would choose one for her. With only months to go before the deadline, she found herself with a perfect suitor in Theodore Nott.
But when a freak pregnancy landed her in the care of cranky Healer-in-Training Michael Corner, Daphne started to realise that things she thought she knew were slowly being turned upside-down. And what she thought she knew about Michael Corner began to dissolve into something different entirely.
This story has been nominated for two 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Non-Canon Romance and Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
This story has also been nominated for a 2013 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
I am a "bad" reader, because I read this whole, beautiful, magnificent thing, and I am only now reviewing. But let me tell you, I have been anxiously waiting every three days for updates all along the way. I hesitated at first to read it because of the non-traditional characters, but you made that facet work for you. The story brings depth to very minor peripheral characters, giving you room to really grow (which you did).
You really sold me on this pairing. I love how Daphne has grown, and I love how you slowly revealed more and more of Michael's true character.
So very well done!
I'm glad you liked the story and stuck with it. It was probably less painful that you had a regular update schedule, plus now that the story notifications are working, hehe...
Minor characters are definitely my thing. The way I see it is that the major ones are so well wrought in canon that there is not much left to explore that hasn't been done by JKR or by millions of fanficcers already. So I delve into the ones that slip through the cracks, try to give them a more original face than the traditional boy-meets-girl. There is a lot to be had in the realm of post-battle fic, and it's where most of my stories are based.
I'm glad I could sell you on this pairing and these characters. I don't like not knowing who people are, but that is why I personally seek out peripheral characters; they enthral me. Above all, though, I'm glad that Daphne and Michael finally figured out enough about one another and about themselves to be together. There are few happy endings coming out of the battle (for example, what happened to Anthony), so I love it when characters can take joy where they can get it. Not giving it a happy ending, at least to me, wasn't an option. I think I needed this. :)
Anyway, I've rambled on enough. Thank you for checking in and letting me know how you felt. Once is better than not at all, so I'll take it. ♥
Here in the dark
In these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart
And I’ll feel the power
That you won’t
--I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt
Albus realises just how much Rose means to him -- and how much he doesn’t mean to her.
This is babewithbrains of Ravenclaw writing for Round Two of Madam Alex’s Character Clinic Triathlon.
:) This story has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Next Generation.
This story has also been nominated for a 2013 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Next Generation. Thank you again! ♥
I had to keep telling myself not to be grossed out, but this was actually really good. I'm glad that you persevered with it! I kind of want a sequel where Rose comes to her senses and gets with Albus (I love Albus's character, by the way - so fully developed in such a short time, and so sympathetic), but I wouldn't want to read it unless they got together at the end. I would feel too bad for Albus! I guess that goes to show that you really made me care about your characters. I am also curious about Rose. I feel like we are able to understand Albus fairly well, thanks to the narration following him, but Rose is still largely a mystery. I'd love to see what makes her tick. Cheers!
Author's Response: Hello :) Thank you for the review, and for being honest about things. It is a potentially squicky pairing, but I've always had this idea in my head, especially with the song, so I had to give it a go. I was contemplating throwing in the towel at one point (Albus wasn't cooperating with me), so it's nice to know that you enjoyed it and that my persevation paid off :)
Haha, I doubt Rose would get with Albus. She would probably sleep with him again, but she's not in love with him -- she loves Scorpius too much, sadly, lol. And YAY to developing Albus's character -- I did have some issues with him, like I said.
Rose is more of a central character (as is Scorpius) in my chaptered story, Blood and Roses, though that's a prequel to this story, and it's much more about Scorpius than it is about Rose, so you might like it. Depends. At any rate, I'm glad you enjoyed this story -- like I said, it gave me a lot of grief, so it's lovely to know you liked it. Thank you very much!
Hmmmm. I like the premise of this, but I think that you're doing yourself a disservice. You have some good ideas about your characters, but everything is "telling" the audience about what happened instead of showing them. Maybe you should consider expanding - maybe write a chapter showing each of those major points in their relationship?
Author's Response: Honestly, that was one of the things I was least disatisfied with in this story. But I had less than a week to write 6 one-shots. So a lot of these moments have been expanded in other one-shots. (hint hint) Thank you for your review! Maple
I like it! But is it meant to cut off so abruptly?
Author's Response: No, sorry. I did a minor edit and managed to introduce an html error which deleted the end of the story. Oops! It's fixed now. Thanks for letting me know. -N-
His parents are really rather jerks. I guess it's easy to believe that you must know best when you live in the middle of nowhere, with the other adult on your side, and the only person to gainsay you is an 11-year-old.
Author's Response: Griff's ideas about magical education border on the eccentric, and they are certainly strongly held. (That tends to happen to people who carefully keep themselves away from anyone who might think differently.) But hopefully he's not in Vernon Dursley territory; I'm trying to make him (and his wife) a bit more sympathetic than that.