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U-No-Poo [Contact]

A writer and nothing else: a man alone in a room with the English language, trying to get human feelings right. ~ John K. Hutchens, New York Herald Tribune, 10 September 1961.


About Me: I'm a fifteen year old girl obsessed with writing and Harry Potter. Naturally, the two seemed to merge into a love of fanfiction! I'm from Australia and I started writing when I was eleven. I see fanfiction as a practice for writing original fiction. That's my dream - to be a writer. How cliche is that?  My dream is to meet Rupert Grint, and I'm forever jealous of my friend who got to hug Tom Felton last week. Oh, and my name's Jordy.

Favourite Genre? Next Generation, hands down! Romance works too. And when they're combined, they make for the best of fics!

Ships? No angry mobs, capiche? But I love Rose/Scorpius! Oh and Dramione.

Activity on the forums? I used to be a beta, a dueler and SBBC member but I had to give up all three! Writing's my only activity right now.

Best HP Book? Deathly Hallows, without a doubt. It didn't disappoint me, and I loved the ending. PoA comes in second.

Favourite story of mine? The Gryffindor Gang holds a special place in my heart... it's my first fic, and I feel like I know each character individually.

Favourite non-HP book? The 'Tomorrow' Series by John Marsden, Pride and Prejudice, The Hunger Games.

Favourite movie? Pretty much any classic Disney movies. Not the lame ones they come up with nowadays, but all-time favourites like The Lion King, The Little Mermaid and ALADDIN! Not Beauty and the Beast. I still find that a little creepy.

Favourite TV shows? Veronica Mars, Glee, Avatar: The Last Airbender. An interesting combination.

Music/bands? I love crappy radio music. Because it's too catchy. Therefore, I am brainwashed. Don't really care though! Love Ed Sheeran, Foster the People, Gotye, Jessie J and Grouplove, but for some odd reason, going through a Justin Timberlake phase.

Cat or dog? Cat.

Stories coming soon? Well, Saving Dominique is in its early stages of production, but I'm really confident about its chances. I've got a Dramione fic and a James/Lily fic that are both no closer to being finished than my maths assignment.


So, please read my stories, leave a comment and or just PM me on the forums, capiche? ~ Jordy

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Stories by U-No-Poo [5]
Favorite Authors [2]
Favorite Stories [24]
U-No-Poo's Favorites [26]
Reviews by U-No-Poo

Meant to Be by annie

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It is their final year at Hogwarts, and Hermione and Draco start it off burdened by confusion and mixed feelings after catching a glimpse of the near future. This is a fic about the two students as they deal with their fate and the knowledge of what is to come with the aid of a magical window into the future. (Rated PG-13 for mild violence in later chapters)

Chapter 19 has been posted. This fic is finished. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed!

This fic is now available in Chinese, thanks to Levy. Link: http://post.baidu.com/f?kz=261897233
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 11/07/09 Title: Chapter 19: Meant to Be

Awww..... tearjerker definately...

The Dark Lord's Blog by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.

WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.

RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 09/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Don't Try This At Home

OH MY GOD! LOVE IT! But who are prettynpureblood and daddyluciouslocks?

Author's Response: Thank you! They are Draco and Lucius respectively... not very recognizable, since they're silly!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 09/25/09 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: I Sold My Soul on eBay

AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH ITS OVER :( BUT WHAT AN AWESOME STORY! I'm only just going back and reading all of your wonderful stories!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!

101 Ways to Woo Hermione Granger by Katdiva

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Hermione Granger is pursued by a relentless Draco Malfoy. And what a Malfoy wants, a Malfoy gets!
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 05/01/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That is like, the best one-shot I've ever read! Your portrayal of Draco as a lovesick puppy was a funny, entertaining one. I especially like how you kept the "Draco" in it - he's still cocky and overconfident! The ending was so sweet as well. I'm not suprised that this won a QSQ award. You deserved every last bit of it!

Dursleys, Meet The Wizarding World by Ghoul In Pajamas

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The Dursleys have left Privet Drive and are in hiding with Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle. Hestia and Mr. Dursley are constantly fighting, Petunia is avoiding the wizards at all costs, and Dedalus is trying to make them all the best of friends. Meanwhile, Dudley discovers he has an interest in Harry's world, but his parents are less than pleased when they find out.
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 10/11/09 Title: Chapter 10: Answers

AWESOME STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please update soon, even though you just did!

Author's Response: thanks!

The Letter by Cassandras Cross

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: DH SPOILERS! Harry is so consumed with his career as an Auror that he loses touch with Ginny and their children until a letter arrives to help him remember what really matters. But is something sinister waiting out there to take it all away? An escape from Azkaban, the first in twenty years, stirs up Harry's worst fears from the past as those he loves are threatened.

Romance, mystery, and drama combine to make this a story you won't soon forget! Set one year before DH epilogue. Completely canon compliant. All reviews receive responses.

THE EPILOGUE IS UP! I don't know whether to laugh or cry as this story comes to an end, and Harry finally figures out where it's really at. (Thanks again to the amazing mods for your rapid-fire response!)
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 12/21/09 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

I don't know what to say. Mostly 'wow' comes into mind, but also how I know why for certain that you received the QSQ award. What an honor, and firstly, congratulations for this. Secondly, thankyou for having a story with an actual plot! I love romance fics, but there's not storyline to them, and after a while they all become the same. Yours has the exact amount of romance, mystery, action and most important of all, the wizarding world portrayed very well. I felt as if i was sitting in my room, reading the Harry Potter series hour after hour, and during the last pages of Deathly Hallows, becoming overly emotional. Good memories. The point is, you brought back that world to me in a new form that I hadn't half-memorised. Thanks a million, and this is the longest review I've ever done, so I better stop babbling. Keep writing more fan fics!

Potter's Pentagon: The Truth (Book Two) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.

WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!

Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.

Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.

And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?

Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.

Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 01/03/10 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light

Hey Schmergo - reading this for the second time over. Can't get enough of Potter's Pentagon!

My favourite character would have to be Haley, cause she's always so happy and bubbly! The least favourite would be Arden, who kinda peed me off with the 'Theo' thing at the beginning. HIS NAME IS TED! The character I can relate to the most is Emma. I'm soo highly strung and a lot of the time I hurt my friends and stuff but I don't realise I am. I have a huge temper, like her. I also love the Emma/Tyrone relationship. From what happens in The Past between them, there is nothing more adorable that Tyremma. As Giorgi said, "Oh, flirtation pretending not to be flirtation, thy name is Emma." Classic.

Author's Response: Aw man, thank you! Yeah, Arden kinda ticked me off too, even when I wrote her, hahaha. I like to pretend I'm not as much like Emma as I am... but, I am! I'm like the craziness of Haley combined with the craziness of Jordan and the craziness of Emma. ^_^

As Happily Ever After As They're Gonna Get by cjbaggins

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: My take on the first of those 'nineteen years' between the 36th chapter of DH and the epilogue.

Warnings: contains an unusually-shaped ring, a nosy neighbour, a rude shop assistant, shaving mishaps, thoughtful gestures, threatening goblins, and, unexplained appearances of Romantic!Ron and Romantic!Harry. You have been warned.

Rating is for *mild* innuendo and *mostly* innocent interactions but I wouldn't let my 9 year old read it.
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 02/13/10 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - Yuletide

Yaaayyy!!! That was sooooooo gorgeous!

Author's Response: Thank you! cj

The Arcane ScoRA and the Wand of MacArt by OliveOil_Med

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Nominated for the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Post-Hogwarts Story

When Albus, Rose, and Scorpius are put on the train to their first year at Hogwarts, their parents have simple hopes for them. Namely to have the normal, boring school years they never got to experience themselves. But sometimes, we ask too much of our children.

When the school becomes plagued by invasions of wild beasts, three different students from three different houses follow in the footsteps of the generation before them, but strive to achive the one thing none of their predesesors ever could: DON'T GET CAUGHT!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 01/02/10 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 The Wand of MacArt

Cliffie. Ten bucks says its that Dugan kid.

Author's Response: No guessing major plot points! It ruins the story for everyone else!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 12/19/09 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15 Sightings

Wow, I love this story!!! Its brilliant. Feels just like I'm in Harry Potter world again. Its just like the 'Golden Trio' - Albus as his father, Scorpius as Ron and Rose as Hermione. Hmm, will Scorpius and Rose end up together?? (in a sequel of this story, perhaps???)

Author's Response: Well, I hope this story at least seems a little bit like its own story. I'm glad it makes people think of J.K.'s stories, but I don't want them to be clones. And to answer your question, yes, there will be more stories after this, provided I can finish the first one.

The Secret Life of Scarlet Black by voldiegirl

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: If a rose is called by any other name, does it smell as sweet? To Scarlet never realized how much fear a name could provoke. Throughout her life, the name Tonks had become as familiar as her right arm. She is estatic when she receives her letter inviting her to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite her happiness, she is confused at the name on the letter. How could one name transform friends into enemies? Who is Scarlet Black? But more importantly, who is she?

This is what she wants to know.
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 11/18/09 Title: Chapter 14: Saved By the Aspidistra

Oh Em Gee I love this fic! Alternate universes rock because they are so creative and yours takes the cake. But I love how you've mixed the canon and the non-canon into one big sort-of-canon. If that all made sense. But anyway, keep writing!

Author's Response: That does make sense, in a strange, not making sense sort of way.

When Worlds Collide by jenny b

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story

Rose was a Weasley. She never gave Scorpius Malfoy a second glance. They were sworn enemies, even though they’d barely even spoken to each other. But sometimes all it takes for love to blossom is a Potions lesson, a few snide remarks and a dropped book.

Two people. Two entirely different worlds that are suddenly intertwined.

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 03/06/10 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter Fourteen: How Not To Impress Your Boyfriend's Parents

Great chapter! I just love the Malfoy family shenanigans!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 11/13/09 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve: The Wedding, Part Two

Awww great chapter! Thanks a heap for updating, I thought you ditched us! *sobs*. I was so sure they were going to do 'it' the night of the wedding, but i was wrong. i was also sure that scorpius would get in a fight with ron. haha wrong again. anyway, keep the great writing up!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 04/23/10 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen: Stinging Hexes and Summer Days

Nice chapter!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 09/25/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything

Hey, Potter Puppet Pals called, they're asking you for their awesomeness back, because you stole it and put it all in this story! YOUR STORY ROCKS. Just pretty please update, I wanna know what Part Two of the wedding is! Anyway, pretty much read the above and channel its awesome power (what's left of what you stole from Neil) into this story!

Author's Response: *grins* I'm glad you think so highly of my writing! I've finished the next chapter, just waiting for my beta to get back to me. Thanks for reviewing!

Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums: A Potter's Pentagon Love Story by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.

It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.

Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.

Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".

Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 04/17/10 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: The Delightfully Horrible Misadventures of Wolfgang Quinn

Yay, you finally updated! And I have a feeling something big's going to happen... but I'm probably wrong. Just update soon!

Author's Response: Nope, you're right, something big IS going to happen!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 04/13/11 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16: One Plus One Equals Three

YES YES YES YES YES! Schmergo we love you! That was like the cutest, fluffiest, most brilliant and wonderful ending to the story! You are amazing, just sayin'. Minus the epilogue, it's finished, and I can't believe that soon there will be no new adventures of Potter's Pentagon :(


Author's Response: Oh my goodness, thank you SOOOOO much! If I ever do write more Potter's Pentagon, I do have an outline for a story taking place twenty-five years on, when they have their own kids, but it's kind of dark and creepy, and I'm not sure I'll ever write it, or if I do, whether I'll post it. (A bunch of people actually die in that one.) But I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I'm finishing up writing the epilogue now.

The Charm of Fall Bay by dancingwithneville

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: He’s back and she doesn’t want to see him again…or does she? Come visit Fall Bay with Ginny, Luna, and Cho as they search for true love and try to wade through fake's and unwanted proposals! It’s going to be a summer to remember with sun, sand, and romance.
This Story was written for Vindictus Viridian's NEWT Pride and Prejudice Class on the forums by dancingwithneville of Ravenclaw.
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 06/19/10 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 Pretty Please!

I love this story! I know you're still moderately active on the beta forums, so... is it possible to see a long-awaited update anytime soon?

Author's Response: Thank you that means so much to me and Yes! There will be an update very soon. I promise!

Potter's Pentagon: The Past (Book Three) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!

WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.

It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?

New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.

Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 01/21/10 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26: In Which Loose Ends Are Tied Up


Brilliant chapter! *screams*

Yay!!!! Cure for all werewolves! AND THE POTATO!!!!!!!!!

How many chapters are left? I hope you continue Pride and Pre-juiced Plums when this is done. *sobs*

The Gryffindor Gang has been submitted over the weekend and I'm hoping that by this weekend it will be up. So check it out when you have the time! Thanks again for the borrowing of the potato joke - I have new material for it now... *smirks evilly*.

Author's Response: HEY HEY HEEEEEEEY MCFOOZLE BOOZLE DOOD! Sorry, that didn't mean anything, I'm just really tired, hungry, and delirious from a long day of rehearsal! This will have two more chapters. AND P&P IS INDEED GO. I'll be so thrilled to check out the Gryffindor Gang-- make sure to let me know when it comes through!

Reviewer: U-No-Poo Signed
Date: 01/02/10 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25: In Which (Almost) All Is Revealed

AWESOME CHAPTER! I'll let you know when my story's up, as you asked. I'll email you the link. I'm sad now, cause its almost the end of my favourite fic in the whole website! Keep up the brilliant writing!

Author's Response: Why, thank you! I really am excited to see your story. ^_^ I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself when this whole thing is posted...