My name is Ronnie.
I like to read and write, that's
pretty much my life.
This was beautiful. I'm almost crying. It even looked like the way it was supposed to be. It's all according to the books, it seams real... I don't know if I am making sense at all but still.. haha
I loved it.
This is AMAZING. So funny! Great!
Wish you'd update soon! This is going on my favorites.
Oh my, Lord! This was marvelous! I spent all day yesterday and today reading this. It was beautiful! Good job. I loved the way you described James and Lily's relationship from the start, the suspense you kept with the random memories of the kidnapping, the twists and turns... everything! This was simply amazing! I love how you wrote the defying Voldemort parts. They were great!
I'm going to check out your profile and read a few more of your fanfictions. You're a great writter!
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I've been working on this story for so long its hard to imagine what it would be like to read it all for the first time without having to wait for another chapter. But I'm glad that you were able to and that you enjoyed it until the very end! The defying Voldemort parts were among the hardest to write, so its good to know you appreciate them!
Hi Mel! My name is Ronnie and I wanted to tell you that I loved this story. You are a very wonderful writer and you have a lot of talent.
I read this a week ago, exactly, and I was stunned. I was reading it on my iPod at night and didn't get to finish it the first night because I ran out of battery. I swear I was going crazy because I wanted to continue reading! :D
You managed to create suspense wonderfully throughout the story while not overdoing it, as well as the romance in it. The parts where you had a character talking to Voldemort were definitely some of my favourite parts. I loved it, because it really had me wondering so much weather it was Draco or Orpheus. There was a time when I was sure it wasn't Draco but BAM, you threw in some stuff that had me doubting again.
There are some points of Hermione's characterization I would like to point out. During all of the books, we never see Hermione as weak, or intimidated by Draco. Though I understand that Hermione would have probably be scared to be sharing a dorm with a "former Death Eater", she wouldn't have given in and let Draco harrass her because in canon we see her as a strong girl, one who can fend for herself. She would've told Harry about her problems with Draco, at least.
And as for Draco, in the books he is a total wimp, yet you have him as a strong, perfect guy which is hard to believe at times. I have to be honest with you and say I fell in love with him, but this is not the Draco we see in canon, though you managed to keep him more in character at times than Hermione. I see him harrassing Hermione but not to the extent to which he hits her. Though, probably, he might have changed during his time with the Death Eaters about it, seeing as how you said they treated him, you make it seem plausible. Having him take his anger out on her, I mean.
What I think it is really hard about writing Dramione is that they don't fit together, so we have to tweak their characterizations to manage it, so I understand why you did it. And, don't get me wrong, you did it amazingly because I've read some other fanfics...
Other things I wanted to say- Crabbe and Goyle. You made them seem like mindless trolls (which they are) but you kind of exaggerated and Pansy, she is not that shallow. She at least is a bit witty, considering on how she comes up with insults for everybody in the Gryffindor house, and a little bit brave, because she insulted older students.
There were some parts of the plot that seemed a bit clichéd, like the Masquerade Ball. I've read it so many times that it has grown a little bit boring. And, I think, it was very predictable that the girl who Draco danced with was Hermione.
As for the end of the story. Wow. Wow. Wow. You left me fumbling for words. I definitely didn't see that coming. Harry and Ginny dying, Draco sending her to Azkaban. Whoa.
You did an amazing job. Sorry if I sounded as if I didn't like the story, because I really did. Actually, I will add it to my favourites as soon as I submit this review.
Congratulations on finishing such an amazing story,
Author's Response: Hi Ronnie!
First, I want to thank you for taking the time to write out such a stunning review. This is definitely the most detailed feedback I've ever received, and I'm flattered by it. I definitely don't claim to have written a perfect story, so please know that I will take this review to heart. The only way my writing - or anyone's writing, for that matter - can improve is through critiques and revisions, which I take very seriously. So, again, your time in writing this was not wasted. :)
Second, I'd like to address some of your comments on characterization. You bring up very good points about both Hermione and Draco. Draco was definitely the harder of the two to keep canon, so it surprised me when you noted that Hermione seemed more OOC. The only reason I can give you is this: in my experience, who people are in public, even with friends, is usually different from who they are by themselves. I don't want to say that people wear "masks" necessarily; it's more like personas. It could be that we see Hermione as strong in the books simply because we rarely saw her alone and unguarded. She was almost always a part of the Trio, figuring something out or getting them out of trouble. But what about the times when she was in the Library? Or late at night when her only company was her cat? I think that Hermione is more than just a strong, female character - she's still a human. She can be weak and vulnerable and emotional. I think that because Rowling wrote in a "Harry-centric" way, we only saw Hermione in his context, if that makes sense. Not saying Rowling did a bad job of it, of course, just that she had more to focus on than the inner-workings of a love-struck teenage witch. :)
As for Draco, I have to disagree. I don't see him as strong or perfect. Following an order is so simple it's almost mindless. Even if his means were crafty, the end-game was clear-cut. If he had been strong, he would have chosen a different path for both himself and Hermione, but that can be explored more later. ;)
My secondary characters were weak, true, and I kick myself every time someone mentions the masquerade. Hahaha. It was fun to write and, at the time, utterly perfect for what I wanted, but looking back on it...::shudders:: I could have done better. Haha
Again, thank you so much for the review. I hope I addressed some of your queries without sounding defensive. I really do appreciate your feedback! :)
Most sincerely, Mel.
This was beautiful, heart-wrenching, but beautifule nonetheless. I love how you plotted a complete story out a little quote in DH.
You are an amazing writter! Keep up the good work!
It is NOT fair to leave us hanging in there, Carole! Lovely chapter, as always :)
“I didn’t ask her too!”. By the way, I think you meant 'to'. :p
Please, update soon!
Author's Response: OOOh, yes, glaring typo. Although, perhaps Sirius was howling that bit ... "I didn't ask her too-ooo-ooo." Mmm, cliffhanger ... what will they do now?
So, I had just read Deathly Hallows the other day and sobbed at the part where Harry described Remus and Tonks, lying there 'apparently asleep'.
Then, I was lurking in the beta boards and I saw your signature, I swear my breath caught and I automatically clicked on the link to your story and, well, obviously, I started reading it.
Carole, I hate you. (not really, but I am just really jealous of you) Your characterization is great, your writing is amazing and this story is absolutely breathtaking, worth reading every single word.
I really do hope you update this soon! I love this, really, I do. :)
You are like, the best writer in the site. Seriously.
Author's Response: Oh, wow! *fans face* Thank you so much for the glowing review. I should get around to updating fairly soon... other fics and nano willing. ~Carole~
WOWOWOW! Carole, this was amazing! I loved this chapter, definitely worth the wait! :D Can't wait till you update again! :)
Author's Response: Thank you, Ronnie. I'll get the next chapter out asas. *adds to ever increasing list* I appreciate your comments. ~Carole~
“Life has always dealt you the losing hand; again, and again, and again. Sometimes, life would be kind and you would become hopeful - like the day that you met her.”
“You watched from a distance as she fell for him - just like he’d always wanted. Just like she’d always sworn that she would never, ever do; promise."
so poetic, beautifully written. You're so talented! I loved it, you pictured Snape's feelings so well. Amazing.
Defintely going on my favourites!
Author's Response: Aww thanks!! :D
Carole! Oh my God! Can I just say that I really loved this story?
You're such a great writer! I'm so jealous. I wish I was as consistent as you, since I never really get to finish anything I start. :p
Anyhow, I took so long in reading this because it is one of those stories that I want to read slowly, thoroughly, devoting every single detail.
I loved this story :) the ending was just just so perfect :')
Great job, Carole! And congratulations on finishing a marvelous story :D
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I so enjoyed writing this story, so I'm very pleased with the good reception it has received. It is tiugh finishing stories; I think that's the problem I'm having with some of my others - oops. Thanks again ~Carole~
I love this. You're stories are the best. YOU are the best.
update soon, please! :)
Author's Response: Thank you -- I'm glad you think so! ;)
Whoa. I just read this and I was left in awe. It was so beautifully written and, oh my God, I just loved it. It was very original and I loved the fact that Morticia ended up being Audrey :p This was very good! I'm adding it to my favourites!
Author's Response: Thanks!
This was amazing. It totally deserved the QSQ! Your characterization is great and God! I loved it! Seriously!
One of the best stories I've ever read in the site!
The entire thing was perfect, I just loved the Teddy/Victoire part. That was, without a doubt, my favourite part :D
It was all too romantic and adorable. You're an awesome writer!
Congratulations on your QSQ, you really deserved it!
*adds to favourites*
Author's Response: Thank you for all your wonderful compliments! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I take a deep breath so my voice won’t shake.
“What would you do if we died tomorrow?”
He takes a step away from me, but still keeps me in his arms. “What?”
“What would you do if you knew that we died tomorrow?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“Don’t give me that, James. You know that we are going to die soon. There is no point in pretending that we aren’t.”
James and Lily have a conversation two days before Halloween.
Hi Alyssa! I'm the really weird girl who reads this story daily! (well almost daily. I think I have added a fair few reads to this story... like a lot :o )
I just wanted to point out one of my favourite parts of the story
He’s chewing on the tail of his favourite toy, a Hungarian Horntail. Remus got it for him - he says that Harry needs to have at least one manly toy.
“Look at you, my young man - playing with a Hungarian Horntail. You’re growing up so quickly. You’re also very handsome. All of the girls will be chasing after you.”
This makes me smile a lot when I read it and then think how ironic it is that Harry actually battled one thirteen years later (MERLIN. he was only fourteen. Yes I just realised how small he was :O )
The mashed potatoes thing is just too adorable, I seriously go AWWWW every time I read it.
“Now, you don’t spit on your mother,” he says to Harry. “It’s not nice.” Harry cracks a smile, and James leaves the kitchen.
Of course, he just had to jinx it. Harry spits out the bite that I gave him.
I can totally see James doing that. Haha.
Alyssaaaaaaa, I love this story loads!
Okay, this is where I'll end my super random review.
I wish you posted more stories!
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Ronnie! I was smiling so much when I read this review. Thank you so much! I'm glad that you told me your favorite parts. I like to know what people like. I can't believe that you read this so much! I'm more shocked that its worthy of being read so much. You just made me realize how small he was too! He seems so old in the movies. Do you mean more James/Lily stories? If you do, I'm working on one now. It takes place when they are in school. I've stopped working on it so I can get Gryff some points. I have other stories up. I don't like them as much as this one, but I don't think that they are terrible. . . Thank you so much for this review! You don't know how much it means to me that you made this.
Oh my God! This was beautifully written! I loved it.
I think you described James and Lily amazingly. You made them seem so real. I always imagined Lily as an optimist though. Like, she always had hope. But when she mentioned at the end that they were going to die, I saw her more clearly, more human somehow, instead of being just a fictional character.
This was amazing. Keep writting, honey!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Ronnie! I'm so happy that you think I described them amazingly. And when you said you saw her more clearly, that was just great. I got a huge grin while reading it. Thank you so much for your review!
This, my friend, is pure gold.
You are such an amazing writter! You capture everyone's emotions so beautifully, amazingly, perfectly... I'm so jealous of you, I really do wish I could write as well as you, or just to pose my characters the way you do. You are amazing, you've got me on tears.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it :)
Russia, wow! This was amazing, and very different for me, since I seldom read mystery. It was really well written. I didn't really expect the murderer to be Winston, and when he told George what he was doing, framing him and all, suddenly everything clicked. The champagne, the shop name, everything.
It was really good! Though it would have been better, in my opinion, if you had done it longer. I devoured it in less than ten minutes and I wanted to read more! If you wrote a mystery chaptered fic, I would so follow it, seriously.
I loved the end. I was like, you bloody coward. But it was perfect, it kind of wrapped the whole thing. I really liked how you switched from third person, to first, then to third again. It was really interesting.
Great job! Seriously :D
Ooh, this story is great and very original!
Sorry about my lack of constructive criticism but I am not good at it, really... :p
I like this story muchly! I hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks Ronnie! Chapter six is being sent to my betas today. Thanks for reviewing :)
I just want to tell you that this is AMAZING :D
update soon please! :)
Hey again! I must say that you really have got talent in changing song lyrics and making them quite amusing :')
I really enjoyed this. It fit perfectly to the song (I was listening to it as I read this) and I think that the imagery you used worked so well, really. You managed to capture the whole scene in this. I loved it :p
Pee dribbling down my trouser leg
And dripping on my shoe
oh my God, that line seriously made my night! It was great! I really have no concrit to give you, sorry about that.
Thanks for the laugh! :D
gosh, what a lovely review. I'm so happy you enjoyed the merging of Gloria and Ron's fear of spiders. This was a fun song to (re)write because the original is all about ... well, surviving (or trying to) in the face of adversity - and that just seemed to apply to poor Ron so well in this situation. Plus, the tune is so catchy that it adds to the humour of the story (I hope).
Thanks for R & R-ing,