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Annalise28 [Contact]

Hey! I'm Annalise. I haven't been writing for long but I hope to get better. I only have one story up so far, but soon that number will grow. I am working on many stories, but which ones will actually be finished, I am not entirely sure... haha.

I hope you like Returning and Silent Thanks it would be wonderful if you left a review..

~ Annalise x :)

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Stories by Annalise28 [2]
Favorite Authors [8]
Favorite Stories [30]
Annalise28's Favorites [38]
Reviews by Annalise28

I'll Pick You Up by MagEd

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 363 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: “Guilt brings people together. It’s a takes one to know one type thing.”

James Potter has always been a spoiled, arrogant, lazy show-off. When he enters his final year at Hogwarts School, he’s Head Boy . . . and he’s still a spoiled, arrogant, lazy, show-off. But because of that terrible summer, he’s also guilt-ridden.

Lily Evans has always been a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. When she begins her last year at Hogwarts, she’s Head Girl . . . and still a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. But the first night back — and the murder that takes the entire school by surprise — leave her guilt-ridden as well.

With the darkness that’s surrounding the Wizarding world slowly seeping, at long last, onto the grounds of Hogwarts and into the lives of James Potter and Lily Evans, what comes next?

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 06/22/10 Title: Chapter 18: I'll Pick You Up

I absolutely love this story. I'm not sure if I've told you that, but it can't hurt to tell you again. It has a wonderful mixture of romance and angst and happiness and mystery and it is amazing.

Since it is probably recommended that I leave critique, there are a few mistakes here and there with word choices and spelling, but I can't find them again..

I really love the plot, too. It is simply..

Author's Response: Thanks very much! Feel free to tell me as often as you like :) And, oh, I also manage to have a few mistakes with grammar and spelling -- if you do find them, please point them out!

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: I Can Be Anything

Whoa. Seriously, that's my first thought.

The introduction to this chapter was absolutely amazing. I was so sad and crying my eyes out that my brain wouldn't allow any rational thought about or possibly being a dream.

I don't think it was boring either! I am excited to read the rest. I'm going to review every chapter as I go along so you'll see a lot of reviews from me very soon. :) I found a few mistakes but I didn't think to write then down... Maybe I will for the next chapter I'd I find any? :)

Amazing first chapter!

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and got "in to the moment" so to speak. Yes, I always manage to have a good handful of typos. Feel free to point them out for me to fix! :)

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/25/10 Title: Chapter 2: That You Want Me To Be

Awwww. Poor Jill! :'(

Really, really amazing chapter again! I absolutely loved it! I loved James characterization especially! I don't really know what it was but I loved it nonetheless.

I only found one mistake in the whole chapter!

"I've been a Prefect for the last two year," Remus told him dryly.

There should be an 's' at the end of year. :)

That was all though, so well done. :)

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm really trying in this story to have good characterizations for both James and Lily, so I always like to hear that readers think I've done well so far. And I just fixed that typo! ;)

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/25/10 Title: Chapter 3: A Punching Bag, A Piece of String

I am falling very rapidly in live with story, I am afraid to admit. This chapter was amazing. Nothing truly happened in realtion to the first two, however I couldn't take my eyes from the screen and it was just as wonderful as the first two!

I found no mistakes at all! :D

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! That's high praise :) I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/25/10 Title: Chapter 4: That Reminds You Not To Think

I am still undeniably in love with your story :D

As for the characterization of Lily, I think it is absolutely perfect! Just as James' is!

I found one mistake right at the end:

He watched her go for a minute thinking about how he would have killed for his last year and wishing she wasn't wearing a coat so he could better admire the shape of her -

It should say 'he would have killed for This last year' :)

Wonderful chapter as ever! I keep thinking 'James, just tell her you love her already, you prat.' hahahha. Involuntarily of course. :P

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! :) It is always frustrating reading James/Lily and just waiting and waiting for the two of them to get together, knowing it's going to happen. . . . And the typo is fixed! Thanks for pointing it out.

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/25/10 Title: Chapter 5: It's Not Your Fault It Gets This Hard

One thing I certainly love about your story is that it gives me *a lot* to think about! I am almost immersed in thoughts about anything and everything to do with your story! It is simply lovely!

I found two mistakes this chapter:

'He was on his second drink and he was sure Lily most be at the bottom of her first.'

It should be 'Lily mUst be at the bottom of her first,'


"Oh?" James raised his eyebrows. " do you speak from experience/?"

The forward-slash shouldn't be there. :)

~ Annalis x :)

P.S. I love detective James! Especially since he is totally in character!

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/25/10 Title: Chapter 5: It's Not Your Fault It Gets This Hard

One thing I certainly love about your story is that it gives me *a lot* to think about! I am almost immersed in thoughts about anything and everything to do with your story! It is simply lovely!

I found two mistakes this chapter:

'He was on his second drink and he was sure Lily most be at the bottom of her first.'

It should be 'Lily mUst be at the bottom of her first,'


"Oh?" James raised his eyebrows. " do you speak from experience/?"

The forward-slash shouldn't be there. :)

~ Annalis x :)

P.S. I love detective James! Especially since he is totally in character!

Author's Response: I'm glad it gives you things to think about! That makes me happy to know :) Thanks very much for the review, and I've fixed the typos!

Stay Awake by ringobeatlesfan4

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 12 Reviews

The gang is at Zack’s house for one final week together before they all have to go their separate ways.

They’ve proven that anything can happen in five minutes; but what can happen to them in seven days?

'Tis the companion fic to Don't Leave Just Yet. I strongly recommend you read that one first.

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 02/01/10 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Here to leave quite a large review :)

I really, really liked this story Becca! And now I'm totally excited to see what is going to happen next! So I was wondering when you were going to submit the later chapters. So... If you could do that I would be incredibly grateful :P

One of the reasons I liked your story is because it is based around OC's. I really like your characters! But one thing stood out to me about them.

When I read, I formulate the characters, whether they be canon, non-canon, minor, major or original characters. So I read along and I can sort of picture the characters in my mind. The one thing that bothers me is that I can't see Zack. I can see Jack with all of his hyperactive, easy-going attitude. I see Alex with is laid-back attitude. I see Holly with her bossy but caring attitude. I see Maria in all of her girly glory and I see Norah with all of her Tom-boy-ish-ness. But then Zack, I can't see him. I dlthink the main problem is that he doesn't really have as large of an aspect to define him as a character as the others do. You see I can tell you the very basics of the others, but I'm lost for words with Zack. So my little bit of advice is to find what type of person he is.. I'm sure you already know, but making it a little clearer throughout the story would be incredibly helpful! :)

I think your characterization is amazing as a whole though. I can completely see Oliver with that sad blaze in his eyes as he talks to Holly. It makes me sad, proof of your amazing-ness. Ernie and Tori are spot on as well. I couldn't find anything they said was out of character. So amazing job!

As for my favourite character, I would have to agree with Jack and maybe Alex as well. I like Zack, but as I said I don't really understand who he is... As for my least favourite, I agree about Maria. She's kind of irritating.. But not enough to annoy me out of my wits, which is good!

I really like the whole set up of this story and it saddens me that there are only to be nine chapters, as I can easily see it spanding across thirty or so chapters. Although I like that it is set across the week they have at Zacks house so I'm at odds.. But since it isn't going to be thirty chapters, a sequel would be just as awesome! :D

So, to conclude, your story is awesome.

FINISH IT! :D And I will love you forever *coughnotlikeiwasntgoingtoloveyouforeverbeforebutwhatevercough*


~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Awww Annalise, this made my life! You're too sweet :) Well, Russia's got chapter....(5? 6? What is it? Fail, Becca.) and when I get it back from her, I'll make the proper corrections and start on chapter (6? 7? FAIL AGAIN, BECCA) and send it to her promptly! But anyway... You're extremely right about Zack. His character will really be defined in the next few chapters, for sure, and readers will meet a new character who plays a pretty prominent role towards Zack in chapters.......the next ones, in any case. But I digress. I'll definitely get further in-depth with him; I don't exactly see him too well either, which sucks, being his author and all. I'm really happy that you can see the others, and that you liked Ernie/Tori/Oliver. And Maria is meant to be irritating; aren't all girls like her? XD But thank you so much for your review, and for reading this! And I'll work on finishing it straight away :) {BeccA}

Potterwatch by LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 8 Reviews
Summary: We find out what goes through Harry, Ron and Hermione's minds as they listen to a Potterwatch, but what goes through the minds of other listeners, the casters, and what news do they bring?
Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Welcome to Potterwatch!

ANDI! *hugs*

I really loved that story, it was really interesting! It made me feel like I was reading DH again, but there was things I didn't know :D *sigh* *wishes dh could go on forever, or at least the hp series* < but that's what fanfiction is for, right! :D

Well, that was amazing, anyway, and I think... you need to write the next chapter, miss :D


~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Lol, yeah. Everytime I read an hp book I think about that and then go on MN :D *guilty* Erm. Maybe I should work on the next chapter... it's about half way done ... :S Thank you for the review, Annalise. I didn't really expect another one for this chapter, so you really made my day :D (You do a lot. hehe) <3 Andi

Jump by IckleRonnieX

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 7 Reviews
When you lose someone you love, people start staring at you with pity in their gazes. They start shooting you sympathetic smiles. They all offer you their condolences, but that doesn’t make much difference to you now. Nothing will.

Your brother is dead.

This is IckleRonniex of Gryffindor, submitting my final for the Watching the Mirror class

Thanks to my AMAZING betas Annalise (Annalise28), Andi (LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVeR) and Sarah (Sapphire at Dawn)
Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Jump


Author's Response: Lmfao. ANNALISE!!!!!

Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 01/22/10 Title: Chapter 1: Jump

You know, I did actually have a review that was something other than just *Ronnie* but it seems to have gotten lost somewhere... ?

Anyway. I absolutely love your fic, Ronnie. The emotion is amazing. And I like that you get to decide who it was on your own. For me, I imagined George and Angelina, but it definetely is a matter of who the individual imagined in the story, and I find that wonderful!

So, amazing job, seriously. :)

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks Annalise! :D I am glad you liked it :) hehe. I didn't picture George and Angelina because I can't really see George wanting to kill himself after Fred's dead... but it could've happened... Ily! -Ronnie Xxx

A Blank Canvas by OkiBlossom

Rated: Professors • 12 Reviews
Summary: Charlotte DeLuca has held on to dark secrets for a long time. Although she gained respect through perseverance and hard work, she hid a part of her image. In the light of a wizarding war, she works as a professor at one of the most prestigious universities. She cannot hold her silence any longer. Can she reveal the truth without shattering her image?
Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 04/05/10 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: No Antipasto

I am rather confused, but I'm sure I won't be later!

Your writing is seriously... Amazing. Every sentence flows perfectly and every word is perfect. It's complicated and uses an amazing vocabulary. It's the type of writing that would confuse my parents.

So, with that, I must say that your writing confuses me. It has been done wonderfully, but it is a very high standard of writing and one that I have not yet achieved, so it's easy to see why I have trouble understanding. But I'm sure as I read later chapters, I will become acustomed to your writing and start to understand more.

I'm loving it so far, and I love that Remus is in it. He's one of my favourite characters. :)

Can't wait to read more.

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Annalise, You are quite right that this is rather confusing. In fact, I'm going in for a complete revision. There are simply too many holes in this piece that never get filled in with the dirt it desparately needs. Like the first chapter? Dreadful. Even by my standards, I hate it. I'm actully writing writiing a piece between Remus and his grandfather, which attacks this idea from another angle. It needs a defibilator, yes, and I hope for my sake the idea isn't dead. I am sorry that I write confusing drafts, but I assure you, all the same, I am constantly going in for revision, or, in this case, a complete, ripped out rewrite. I think it's called Red Wine. I hope that it fits canon. I love Remus as well. I hope that you continue to read. Thank you for the review. Jen

Jemzi by Belledeg

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 260 Reviews
Summary: Jemzi Zabini is the seventeen year old daughter of Blaise Zabini and his wife Harper, and is about to join her fellow witches and wizards at Hogwarts for their final school year. Jemzi is famous for being the once best friend of Albus Potter. However, a mysterious argument last year that only the two of them were witness to has ruined their friendship and they are now practically enemies. No one knows the reason for their fall out, only that it has caused a great divide in their friendship group.

Jemzi's best friend and Albus' cousin, Rose, suspects that their friendship expired because of strange and unwanted feelings between them. Feelings which, despite their fall out, have not gone away. Feelings that are similar to those she has for a certain Slytherin...

So can the next generation of Hogwarts students learn to forget past actions and forgive?

Nominated for "Best Next Generation Story" and "Best Other Character" in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards

This story features Harry Potter, Ginny Potter, Lily Potter, Luka Krum, Blaise Zabini, Harper Zabini, Zacharias Smith, Leon Holmwood, Tristan Wells, Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Jemzi and Albus plus many more.
Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 06/24/10 Title: Chapter 15: The Wedding Part Two

This story is lovely. Just lovely :) My favourite thing about it, I guess (other than the overall loveliness of the plot and whatnot) is the characterisation. Often in a story I find that I cannot understand who is talking unless a name is mentioned, but not once during this sorry did I have any doubt as to who was who. All of the characters are so incredibly unique, even if they appear slightly similar on the outside. Really lovely.

As for a pairing I'd like to see, I have to go with Lily/Luka. I don't know what it is, if it's just me or done on purpose, it seems like that sparks will fly between them.

I really love all of your characters. They are all amazing.

I know that this review is rather squee-worthy but I really can't find anything to critisize or critique on.

So I guess, in the regular squee-worthy fashion, I'll end this review with:



~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: My favourite kind of review :) So glad you like the story and the characters, plenty more from them to come.

Our Little Secret: Lost by Kerichi

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 166 Reviews


Scorpius had never looked forward to anything the way he looked forward to leaving Hogwarts with Rose. He planned a holiday with no friends, no family, and nothing to do but be together‚Ä”until a tampered Portkey changed their destination.



Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 04/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Plans

I'm really excited to read this! The prologue was fantastic :) I absolutely loved Our Little Secret and I know this will be just as amazing. Your a wonderful writer, so basically, I cannot make this review un-squee worthy. : :p

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Never apologize for a squee! You make writers' days sparklier than Edward Cullen with your excitement and encouragement. :) This will be much shorter than OLS, but I promise to pack with emotion...and to update asap.

Serpentine by SaladOrCellarDoor

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 12 Reviews
Summary: Lily Potter shocked the Sorting Hat when she asked to be placed into Slytherin. The Sorting Hat shocked all of Hogwarts when it did just that.
Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 06/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: Not Gryffindor

This is a good prologue to begin your story with. I like the idea, as well. The only thing I will criticises is that Lily is eleven, yet she sounds as though she is at least fifteen years old. I think, in later chapters, you should be careful about keeping her in character and at the right age. I suggest you get a beta who is good with this.

Also, even though it's a prologue, it is rather short. But I can't criticise that. It just means I want to read more!

I like it a lot.

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! Yes, Lily is definitely a bit mature for her age, but then, I feel that she would really have to be in order to think of her plan. I may tone her down a bit in the future, though, but for now, to me it makes more sense for her to be a little mature for her age. I've definitely met kids her age who think that way, though they are indeed hard to come by. I always like to hear that! My chapters are usually 1500-2500 words long, so I expect chapters for this story to be around that length, maybe longer. They'll definitely be at least 3 times as long as the prologue, for sure! Glad you liked it, and I really appreciate your review!

All The Details In The Fabric by IckleRonnieX

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 2 Reviews
Summary: Molly Weasley II has a seemingly great life. She's a Ravenclaw, probably the best of her year- she had friends that never left her, like the Scamander brothers, and a cousin, father, mother and sister that love her dearly.

In the Wizarding World in whole, after Voldemort, all is well. That is, until Muggles start their third World War. A foreign group of wizards, the Dark Knights, seem to be behind it all. Wizards are forced into hiding and laws are more unfair and stricter than ever.

Somehow, Molly finds herself in the midst of it. Lost and confused, she blindly leads the Resistance with the power of her words, being barely sixteen, with the help of Lysander, Roxy and Lorcan.

You might think that at least she's got her friends to get by, right? ....right...
Reviewer: Annalise28 Signed
Date: 08/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: I: If it's a broken part, replace it

This was lovely, Ronnie. So adorable and nice and sad and beautiful. I can't wait to read more about this adorable little pair. :)

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thank you Lise! At least you think that the introduction was adorable because things aren't going to stay this way. Haha. Thanks again. Ily! -Ronnie Xxx