Penname: WeasleyMom [Contact]
Real name: Lori
Member Since: 08/27/09
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
I am an obsessed Harry Potter fan who, according to one friend, "needs rehab." Hehe. I like canon-compliant stories and pairings, especially Romione, which is probably evident from my stories.

You will notice I don't use British spellings. I always strive to accurately portray British culture in my fics and have my characters (and JK's) behaving in culturally appropriate ways. But spelling and punctuation are tools of the writer, and I'm an American writer. :) I always feel incredibly pretentious when I use British spellings (if it's required for a challenge)--LOL.

Right, just wanted to let you know where I'm coming from in case you are annoyed that I spell it color instead of colour. Hehe.
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Reviews by WeasleyMom
 

I'll Pick You Up by MagEd
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 362]

Summary: Past Featured Story“Guilt brings people together. It’s a takes one to know one type thing.”

James Potter has always been a spoiled, arrogant, lazy show-off. When he enters his final year at Hogwarts School, he’s Head Boy . . . and he’s still a spoiled, arrogant, lazy, show-off. But because of that terrible summer, he’s also guilt-ridden.

Lily Evans has always been a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. When she begins her last year at Hogwarts, she’s Head Girl . . . and still a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. But the first night back — and the murder that takes the entire school by surprise — leave her guilt-ridden as well.

With the darkness that’s surrounding the Wizarding world slowly seeping, at long last, onto the grounds of Hogwarts and into the lives of James Potter and Lily Evans, what comes next?

*Completed*

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations

Word count: 138022 Chapters: 22 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/07/09 Updated: 09/04/10


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 07/21/10 Title: Chapter 21: But I'm Not Made of Steel

What to say. I've enjoyed this so much, and am relieved to learn there is still an epilogue coming, so that it doesn't have to end quite yet. I don't think I've ever felt so personally invested in a story that did not include R/Hr, but I have seriously been checking and checking for updates on this.

I admit I felt utterly conflicted when Sirius asked Lily to keep Regulus out of it. He's a murderer, of course, but you wrote this so beautifully I felt like I was right there in the room with them all each time it was discussed. And in the end, I'm glad she didn't say anything. She did understand, after all, because of Snape. And eventually, Regulus did come around, and it would be easy to imagine this whole thing as canon and say this bit of grace shown to him by Sirius and his friends played a role in turning him back. (Apologies for that exhausting sentence.)

James and Lily--I just love them. It took so much for them to come together, and I just loved every bit of it, every obstacle. I knew she had to be strong enough to throw off the curse, and with him crying just before that... ah! I loved it!

When they came out in the trees... you won't believe this, but I swear I knew it was going to be the Forest of Dean. It just HAD to be! What a great connection to Harry, that they, too, found refuge there, and it was chosen by Hermione for a similar reason. Lovely, lovely touch. And what an amazing scene there between James and Lily, easily my favorite of this entire story.

This is a great paragraph:

"James pulled off the cloak. Lily cried that night, too."

So simple--two short sentences. But it communicated so well that the moment after Jill's killer walked out of the room, it became a safe place again, a place to cry, a place to heal. Really nice.

Others have already gone on about the ending with Sirius... it broke my heart. It seems right that he just completely lost it. He's not a stone, and he couldn't have gone on that way, just holding it all in forever. And it makes perfect sense for it to come out as rage at first, for him to have to be nearly forced to actually let himself feel the weight of it... I felt a little choked up myself. Also, the tension you created between Lily and Sirius kind of niggled me... I wanted that to work out. I wanted Sirius to get over it. So even though you may or may not be advancing that in the epilogue, the resolution of it is foreshadowed here... and I imagine him really beginning to trust her after sharing this moment.

Whew! I'm chatty, huh? Love it, love it, love it. I will have a moment of silence when this fic is truly over. You are a wonderful writer.

Your fangirl,
Lori

Author's Response: Oh, thank you very much! I'm so glad that I could make you love a story as much as you do this even though it isn't about your OTP! It does seem wrong that the murder that really began the story goes unpunished, but I really think that Regulus had to have more motivations for turning and sacrificing his life then what Kreacher went through (although that's certainly something!) And of course it had to be the Forest of Dean! ;) As for Lily and James . . . the best part of epic Lily/James stories, imo, is looking at the first few chapters and then the last few chapters and seeing how they always come so far (or should, if the story's good!) I'm glad you liked them in this. And Sirius -- oh, Sirius -- I really love him, but I never feel comfortable writing him. I definitely think that the final scene sets up their future friendship. And, yes, please, be as chatty as you like :)

 

Suddenly a Stranger by minnabird
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary:

It's about one moment
That moment you think you know where you stand

Lily Evans is a girl with strong opinions about the people around her. There's Severus Snape, a dear friend whose flaws she can overlook. And then there's James Potter, bullying, arrogant archnemesis of her first friend at Hogwarts.

And in that one moment
The things that you're sure of slip from your hand

And then one day, the tables turn, and she suddenly realizes that not only do the people around her change....but that she herself is about to undergo the biggest change of all.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1568 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/12/09 Updated: 07/19/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 03/29/13 Title: Chapter 1: Suddenly a Stranger

I really like this story, Minna. The "break-up" with Snape is something I've wondered about so many times... how did Lily get from trusting him as she did when they were younger to that moment when he can't be a part of her life any longer. I like your imagining of that transition here. It works very well, that the "Mudblood" comment wasn't what started it, but what was essentially the proverbial "last straw." And for him to go so far as to call her that, it confirms all the doubts that had been forming over the months (years?) prior.

I liked the friendship between Lily and Mary. Most girls I know occasionally need to "dump" on another girlfriend, whether its information or just help processing something that's happened. I thought this was very real.

Wonderful ending, too, having her tell him to call her Lily. Just pitch-perfect, and full of hope for their relationship. Love him looking guilty too. I do enjoy James/Lily! :D

This was lovely, and I'm glad I found it. I wanted to review something as a little birthday gift for you, and the summary caught my attention. Sorry it's nearly a week late though! Hope it was a happy one!

 

After Breakfast by Northumbrian
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary: After the Wedding comes the reception. Once the guests are greeted and seated, the meal is served, the Wedding Breakfast.

After breakfast? The speeches.

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4712 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/13/09 Updated: 07/17/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 10/04/09 Title: Chapter 1: After Breakfast

I'm so glad you reviewed my piece, because otherwise I surely never would have found this. I too prefer stories that make sense with the canon. This was wonderful. I would like to imagine that this is precisely how this wedding may have occured. Thanks!

Author's Response: Thanks (-: I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Fluff, pure and simlpe.

 

Burning for Revenge by the opaleye
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 37]

Summary: Five years since the defeat of the Dark Lord, Draco Malfoy is finally getting his life back on track. Married, employed by the Ministry, slowly gaining back the trust of the wizarding world, Malfoy is finally free from the oppression and terror of Voldemort. Until one day his Dark Mark burns again. Why is this happening? Who is summoning him back to a world of darkness and fear? As the new life he has built from scratch begins to fall apart around him Draco can turn to only one man for help.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 18590 Chapters: 8 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/09 Updated: 01/01/10


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 01/02/10 Title: Chapter 1: PROLOGUE

I've already reviewed but wanted to say again now that this is complete how much I enjoyed it. You really did have liking Draco, even cheering for him... and that is saying quite a lot in my case. Haha. When I finished the last chapter, I didn't realize it was the end, so it seemed a bit abrupt for a moment... but now I think it was just because I assumed it would be going on for a while. You certainly wrapped everything up nicely and resolved all the issues. This is one of the stories I've been checking regularly for updates... you are a good writer. Thanks for the good ride.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. Reading through it I realise that the ending seems quite abrupt. I just think I felt like I had given to the characters as much as I could. Perhaps one day I will lengthen the ending to make it feel more wrapped up, even adding an epilogue... But thank you for sticking with me til the end! I'm glad you had a good ride :)

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 12/03/09 Title: Chapter 1: PROLOGUE

Julia, this is a wonderful story. How did you get me cheering for Draco's redemption? His characterization is so believable, and very complicated, which I think it would have to be... the way he was with the house elves, disgusted by his father's inhumane behavior and yet struggling himself to touch the elf. This is very good writing, and I can't wait for the next chapter... c'mon Harry!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so happy you thought Draco's characterisation is done well. I think it's easy to get into the whole dark!Draco who has no remorse at all or the redeemed!Draco who is perfect and gentlemanly in all respects of life. It was hard to find balance. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on the rest of the fic. Julia XD

 

Deal Or No Deal by the opaleye
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: Hermione is struggling to keep S.P.E.W afloat after a nasty and public incident involving a house-elf, rolling pin and Muggle now recovering in St. Mungo's. George is slowly drowning in a sea of financial strain and grief over Fred's death. When the two of them join forces one Christmas, will they overcome their troubles and perhaps find solace in the unexpected? But can these two very different personalities reside in one place at one time?


Categories: Hermione/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Sexual Situations

Word count: 12020 Chapters: 5 Completed: No
Published:
08/13/09 Updated: 07/19/10


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 05/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: 1 - One December Evening

Yay, an update! Just wanted to let you know I am still reading and enjoying this story very much. I like the slow pace you are taking with regard to their friendship/relationship... I'm not sure it would be believable otherwise. Hermione and George are extremely different, and I like that you are not trying to ignore that. I was cracking up at her being stung by a rogue whatever-it-was and George thinking it was funny, but her SO NOT thinking it was funny. And while its just banter and adjustments, you've captured these heavier moments in the midst of that... like when she opens the window and says "I don't have a choice." Grief is always present with these two... and it rings so authentic the way it shows up in the most regular moments.

I'm liking it. Bring on the next chapter, Julia!

Author's Response: Yay Lori! I'm so glad you're still reading :) The slow pace was definitely something both I and my beta thought were necessary for this pairing. That's the challenge when writing a rare pairing like this and I think, as a reader, it is something that makes rare pairs believable in a fic. Also, one of the hardest things with this fic is keeping the humour of George whilst presenting him as a grieving man so I'm glad you're finding it funny. Thanks so much for the review!

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 04/14/10 Title: Chapter 1: 1 - One December Evening

Hi Julia. I found this from somewhere on the forums... perhaps your dueling thread? I'm so glad I did. It's no secret I cannot accept anything but Ron's death as a reason for Hermione to be with someone else, so this kind of works for me (even though I'm die-hard canon). They are both in such desperate, strange places, and it's believable that they could come together in this way, and that they could each see their own grief in the other.

Should you write more of this, I think I will be able to get on board with the relationship. More than that though, I adore your painful but lovely description of grief in these chapters. There's something so true in the detachment you feel from the goings-on around you... and you captured that perfectly. I love the idea of the whispers, the way George sits on the stairs, and Hermione leaving the table... it really rings true.

Nice portrayal of Harry & Hermione's relationship as well. And I really like the way you wrote "And Ron" a couple of times as whole sentences... really made it land with a thud. Nice.

Author's Response: Thanks, Lori! I'm so glad that someone who prefers canon can enjoy this fic. There is actually a new chapter in the queue right now so you shouldn't have to wait long. It's good to know that you can see the relationship as possible. I really tried hard to set it up so that they would be a believable pairing. I love non-canon pairings but I hate reading fics that just chuck two random characters together for no reason other than getting into more hot and heavy territory. It doesn't make sense and turns me off. It's also good to see an appreciation of the way I have written the grieving process. I want this fic to be just as much about how Hermione and George cope with death (how morbid do I sound?) as much as it is about them as a pairing. Thanks for the review, Lori!

 

Summary: Between the Snoring and the Seemingly Imminent Death is a short one-shot inspired by the passage in Deathly Hallows in which Harry awakes on the first morning in Grimmauld Place, noticing that perhaps Ron and Hermione's hands had been together during the night. This story--for I shall spare you the unnecessarily long title again--is about what happened during that night, when Ron and Hermione know that the next few months of their lives are not going to be easy, for the moments that are under the most pressure are undoubtedly the ones we most feel confessions are necessary.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1648 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/14/09 Updated: 08/25/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 11/29/09 Title: Chapter 1: Between the Snorting and the Seemingly Imminent Death

I really like this. Nice job. I like that it really could have happened in canon, even with the big confession. One question though: what behavior at the wedding is Ron apologizing for? I always think of him as just perfect that night... the dancing, the drinks, the compliments... just curious. :) I really like this story.

 

Twilit Confessions by ahattab33
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 25]

Summary:

After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to make some important confessions to Hermione has come.

Inspired by the Ludo song, "Streetlights." A part of the "Moments" series.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2696 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/14/09 Updated: 08/25/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 09/11/09 Title: Chapter 1: Streetlights

Really nice read. I agree with the previous reviewer... Ron is more serious and mature in DH, really from Dumbledore's death on... and you wrote that very well. I'll look for more of your stuff. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for your kind words. And thank you very very much for your read and for taking the time to review. ;) And I'm glad we agree about Ron.

 

Birthday Wishes by lily meet ginny
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: As Harry turns twenty nine, he realizes that not all wishes occur right after they are made. Some take time to happen. Set on 31 July, 2009. This is cannon time compliant. I do not own the characters of this story.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1897 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/21/09 Updated: 08/28/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 09/03/09 Title: Chapter 1: Birthday Wishes

I really like this. You should write more.

 

Grave Days by Northumbrian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 100]

Summary: Front page: THE DAILY PROPHET 4 May 1998

TOM RIDDLE “ THE SELF-STYLED LORD VOLDEMORT

Editors Note: At the request of the Ministry for Magic this Official Statement issued by the Office of the Minister is produced full and unedited.

OFFICIAL MINISTRY STATEMENT

This official statement has been compiled with the assistance and co-operation of Mr Harry Potter.

“Lord Voldemort” was, in fact a man named Tom M. Riddle, son of a witch, Merope Gaunt and a Muggle, Tom Riddle Senior. The Ministry has decided that in all future official publications Riddle will be referred to by his given name.

There has already been much speculation and wild rumour regarding the events at Hogwarts School. The Ministry can confirm that Tom M. Riddle was killed at dawn on the morning of Saturday, 2 May. Riddle was disarmed by Harry Potter while in the act of firing a killing curse at Mr Potter. The curse killed Riddle rather than its intended target.

Continued on page 4

WHERE IS HARRY POTTER?

Despite the Official Ministry Statement (published above) we are no closer to receiving an answer to the question on the lips of every witch and wizard in the country. Where is Harry Potter?

It appears that Mr Potter left Hogwarts School early yesterday morning, apparently in the company of his close associates Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. An attractive young Ministry clerk, who did not wish to be named, told The Prophet “He’s at the Ministry, having an important meeting with the Minister. My friends and I saw him. He asked us out to the pub, but we had to turn him down.” This statement is at odds with a report from the Portkey Office that Mr Potter has fled the country, travelling to Australia with his companions.

Continued on page 2

The days after the battle were days of grief and mourning. Grave Days.

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 77566 Chapters: 15 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/28/09 Updated: 04/15/10


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 12/11/09 Title: Chapter 4: Love Unveiled

Hey there. Another good chapter. I really like what you've done with Harry and Ginny here... his silence, her talking, the questions. Harry's got to be a mess, and you've done a good job with it. Ginny in fanfic is usually not my favorite, but I really like her here.

The language you use to talk about Fred's absence is so good... a duet sung solo, counterpoint, his shadow looming large over conversations... so good.

Molly's dirty look toward the minister is a nice touch... so true to character.

Since you say you welcome constructive criticism ;) I will say that I was disappointed to think of Bill telling the family what Ron had done. I may be making a mountain of a molehill, but I don't think Ron will ever feel better about what he did, evn though things turned out all right. I have always imagined that secret being kept for a long time. I wonder if Harry would even share it with Ginny without asking Ron first. Just my opinion, of course... take it with a grain of salt. ;) I do see how it helps provoke Ginny's question about Hermione here.

I am always checking for updates on this piece. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Im glad youre enjoying the story. I did wonder whwther Bill would reveal the fact that Ron was at Shell Cottage at Christmas. But it suits my plot that he did and so far as Bill knows theres no reason not to say, now that the war is won. I hope I made it clear (perhaps I didnt?) that the family know that Ron was at Shell Cottage, and that he, Harry and Hermione were all there just before they went to Gringotts to make a withdrawal. -N-

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 12/04/09 Title: Chapter 2: Emotions Exhumed

I think I actually gasped in delight when I saw this had been updated, and you certainly did not disappoint. So many fics have Ron and Hermione figuring everything out between themselves five minutes after the battle. And while those fics are fun to read, that scenario has never seemed quite right to me. I've always imagined a little awkwardness at first, and I think you've done that just perfectly. I like that they need Harry to help them figure it out. Hermione would have felt weird about initiating the kiss, and Ron would need a little encouragement to man up and say something. Well done.

I love this fic. I can't wait for the next installment. Oh yeah... and Ron's thumb's up is flat. awesome. Nice job.

Author's Response: Thank you. (-: My often eccentric punctuation is entirely to blame. Ron and Hermione as a couple has some major implications for Harry, too. As instead of being three they become two plus one. The next chapter will (I hope) be up sooner. Thanks to LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer :D -N-

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 03/17/10 Title: Chapter 13: Inhumations

Hey Neil. :) I really liked this chapter, particularly Hermione's return to humor. I loved when she told Ron "Not at the funeral" and Harry observed it would be all right anywhere else. That was perfect. I also like the bit with the ankles when Ron said "She has" even though he couldn't see what Ginny was doing... that seems exactlly like him. I also liked little details like Fleur wanting to hold Teddy... we know she is not far from getting pregnant herself, so that seemed very fitting.

Nice chapter... looking forward to what the Weasleys will do with Harry and Hermione.

Author's Response: Thank you. Hermione is (I hope) slowly returning to her normal self. I tried to lighten the mood a little during the funerals. I've only two more chapters to go and they have both been beta'd (once again. thanks to Apurva and Andrea). How close is Fleur? I reckon it will be 15 months before she conceives. -N-

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 12/06/09 Title: Chapter 3: Morbid Thoughts

That is an evil little cliffhanger. ;) I forgot to mention in my comments yesterday how glad I am that you had them dealing with Hermione's parents immediately. I really think this would have been a pressing concern for her as soon as the battle was over. I don't see her waiting around for weeks to right her parents while she is hanging out at the Burrow. Can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Cliffhanger? I can do better that this one (I think). I agree about Hermione. It was also useful to be able to get rid of Ron and Hermione for a while, as it's easy for me to make Harry depressed without them. -N-

 

Summary: The Second War has ended, but there is still so much work to be done. Death Eaters are still at large, the Ministry and its laws are in disarray, families have been torn apart, and love that has laid quiet in the hearts of four teenagers for a year or more is now ready to burst into the open. Watch as the foundations of the Wizarding world are rebuilt and Harry Potter and his friends find their places in a world without Voldemort.

All characters, settings, places, spells, creatures, and what ever else you can think of belong to JK Rowling or were inspired by the same.

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Dubious Consent, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 53326 Chapters: 12 Completed: No
Published:
09/11/09 Updated: 02/14/10


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 11/30/09 Title: Chapter 5: Innocent

Oh dear. I am definitely addicted. LOVE hearing about Ron and Hermione in the Great Hall through Ginny's voice. Looking forward to the next installment.

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 12/28/09 Title: Chapter 8: Identity

I am still really liking this piece. I think you write Harry/Ginny very well, and that coming from someone who is kind of "meh" about them in fanfic. I liked the way they talked about who Harry is now, and I think it's believable that Harry would struggle with this after his whole purpose has seemingly been fulfilled. Keep it coming. (More Ron/Hermione... wait, who said that?) ;)

Author's Response: There is more of both =) thank you for the feedback, I'm just waiting for the next chapter to be approved.

 
Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 02/02/10 Title: Chapter 11: Revelations

Sighing with contentment... :)

Can't wait for the next installment!

 

A Perfect Fit by OHara
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Years after the events of "Deathly Hallows," Ron has an important question to ask Hermione. Can he ask it? What will she say?

One-shot.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1978 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/16/09 Updated: 09/26/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 09/27/09 Title: Chapter 1: A Perfect Fit

Totally like Ron. I really enjoyed this read.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like my characterization of Ron. I think it's pretty easy to fall into cliche when writing for Ron, but I tried hard not to. Thanks for reading!

 

Knowing Who She Was by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Molly Prewett is on her way to Hogwarts as a first year student. Which house does she get Sorted in?



This story won second place in the In-House Back to Hogwarts Challenge.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 3047 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/29/09 Updated: 09/29/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 10/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: Knowing Who She Was

Ooh, what a nice look into a young Molly's head. I just love both her and Arthur, and its fun imagining what their young lives might have looked like. She is so strong all the time in the books, and I love that you began by making her vulnerable. Right away, that challenged my normal thinking, and yet, it made sense because of the circumstances and knowing her brothers were there but also that they had their own lives at school. I liked the balance here. The twins themselves were wonderful. As Amanda said, they reminded me so much of Fred and George, and yet they were definitely not them.

Nice use of some other characters in the boat with her... that was a nice surprise, as was the suddenly serious conversation about Muggleborns. This struck a nice balance: a moment before we were seeing Arthur's obsession with all things Muggle, and now these racist views coming into the picture. I liked the juxtaposition of that.

The sorting hat--friend or foe? How it loves to torture students. I hated for her that it took so long to decide, but it was a nice choice to let her reason it out with the hat. Of course we knew where she was going, and yet, I enjoyed the process, especially her thinking how she would have friends in the other houses if she ended up there.

This is a nice little story, Natalie. Im assuming it's one of your first ones, which is a bit sickening considering how readable and entertaining it is. I don't know why it has taken me this long to read it.

Thanks!

Author's Response: Oh yes, this story! It was written for an in-house challenge. :D I don't think it was one of the better ones, but I managed to finish it and got placed. :D



It was so much fun writing Molly and Arthur. I thought of continuing but never had the energy. *sigh* The Sorting Hat scene was troublesome to write, so it's encouraging to hear that you liked it.



Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing, Lori. These were wonderful presents.



~Natalie

 

The Dawn by ahattab33
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Past Featured Story

Ron Weasley is staying at Shell Cottage during the Christmas of 1997. These are the thoughts and feelings that occupy him.

This is ahattab33 of Hufflepuff, and this is for the "Watching the Mirror" class on the MNFF Beta Boards.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Suicide

Word count: 1921 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/05/09 Updated: 12/08/09


Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 12/08/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Dawn

Amanda! You kill me... Ron and angst and Shell Cottage? What more could I ask for? Hehe. Now I'm the one who is fangirling! I agree with Julia, this is the right time for an angsty Ron, for sure. I just loved this. I particularly like that he felt just as bad about Harry as he did about Hermione. In DH when the fight happens, it's a scene where redemption doesn't even seem possible. "Harry felt a corrosive hatred toward Ron... something had broken between them." They both had to have felt that, and there is no way such a thing would not devastate both of them to the core.

Since you say you like nitpicks ;) I thought I would mention this one sentence where I think you meant to write "without" instead of "with" ...without the world depending on them? To be able to just be with one another with the world depending on them, without Harry needing their help, without the pressure of this or that. Without restrictions. Just Ron and Hermione. Just FYI. And if I'm mistaken... oops. By the way, LOVE this line.

My favorite parts ... first, the idea that Ron feared doing something else out of anger that he would regret. This is the maturing of Ron that we see happening throughout DH, and I think this is such a nice illustration of it. Yeah, he's a hothead. But he's figuring out self-control, and getting his head on straight here. Very in character, I think, though some may not agree.

This paragraph: "He allowed himself one Christmas present…to think about Hermione as if she might still look at him like she did before he left. Hints of something, glances when she thought he wasn't looking, brushes of hands when it wasn't necessary. Opportunities he hadn't taken for his own lack of courage and for Harry's sake." I love it. Especially that part of the reason was for Harry's sake.

But my favorite part by far is this... "he wanted nothing more than to find them somehow and fall to his knees in aching apology." I just really love the words. And isn't this just what he does with Harry after he destroys the locket? Metaphorically at the very least.

This is really a beautiful piece, Amanda. Right into my favorites its goes. :)

Author's Response:

AAAHH! Lori, this made my night. Favorites? Fangirl? *swoons* Thank you soooo much for this amazing review, I am grinning like a fool. I'm very glad you thought I balanced out the emotions, and had him IC.

And thank you for pointing that out, I fixed it. You were right :)

~Amanda

 
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