I am a serious Harry Potter fan who, according to one friend, "needs rehab." I like canon-compliant stories and pairings, especially Romione, which is probably evident from my stories.
You will notice I don't use British spellings. I strive to accurately portray British culture in my fics and have my characters (and JK's) behaving in culturally appropriate ways. But spelling and punctuation are tools of the writer, and I'm an American writer. I would feel incredibly pretentious using British spellings.
Ohhhh, so good! Ed? ED?? You really are a master at mystery, aren't you? I can't figure out what's going on, but want him to be okay and get together with Martha. They have a little Ron/Hermione vibe, if you ask me, which of course, you didn't. :DI love that Charlie was in the kitchens, and Fred and George get the credit. How fitting that even the older boys had to use the twins to figure stuff out. Nice touch there. I wish I were more involved on Pottermore, as I saw your reference to that in the notes... I'm wondering how much of this is from there and how much you've cooked up? Love the magical details... you've really grounded it all so well in Hogwarts. Can't wait for more!
Oh. My. Word.You are killing me, here. And seriously, Kara, you are a master plotter. I mean, I knew you were good, but I'm really blown away by this story. This chapter was worth the wait, but I totally miss Charlie. So incredibly addicted to this fic.
You wicked, wicked girl, leaving us that cliffhanger! And just when I was saying all these lovely things about your writing on aim. Hehe.Only kidding... this is your most brilliant chapter yet. Not only is the plot getting thicker, but your characterization of Tonks is simply brilliant. I love how proud she is of her injuries, with her intent to show off the damage. LOL. And just the way you write her thought processes... maybe this or maybe that, but it doesn't matter because the main thing is fine. You're true to canon, but you're developing her even more, and in such a consistent, entertaining way. I love her. I want to hang out with her. Finally, how are you writing a romance without writing any romance? Seriously, I keep looking at what you are doing here, and I still don't get it. It's like they are falling for each other, but neither of them knows it. You write it like it's an aside to everything else, which it is, but it's looming larger and larger with every chapter. I'm shipping them hard, and probably permanenty. (Well, at least until Charlie moves away -- sniff.) Great stuff, Kara. Just really, really good.
Oh, and in response to Dad's comment... because she's Tonks! She said it herself: you don't have to be a Gryff to be reckless! Please bring the next chapter soon!
Author's Response: exactly - she's Tonks! Couldn't have put it better ;) I'll try to hurry!
Kara, this was such a good chapter. Will you think less of me if I admit that I sometimes skim over the Quidditch details in fics? It's just gets tedious sometimes, but this was really good. I never lost interest, and didn't skim once. Haha!Cedric's presence was a fab surprise! And I'm glad you gave him a great first game, too! Go Puffs! Fabulous ending, and I truly am pining away for the next installment. Bring it soon, okay? :)
I've enjoyed this so much, and the end did not disappoint. Such fabulous imagery in the dream world, and I love Dumbledore's analysis of it as well. You really nailed him, and I think that is an incredibly difficult thing to do that not a lot of authors can do well.Love the magic. Tonks' realization that she could use her abilities as a metamorphagus were perfect, and the way she tested the world by teasing the monster.. so great and hard to predict as a reader. (Or maybe I'm just dim--haha.) Another bit of magic that was just so Harry Potter was when the gargoyles commented about the password... lol! I loved that bit, and her saying Shut Up. Wonderful, wonderful read. I'm sad it's over, and can't wait to troll your author page on my nearest opportunity and find something else to enjoy. Bravo, friend! :) One more thing... hope you don't mind, but in my active imagination, there's a bit of snogging going on in the kitchens after lunch. Hehe. Love the pairing! ~Lori
Gahhhh! This piece is just LOVE. It's perfect. The characterization is just right, even of Ron, who is only discussed rather than seen.Harry and Hermione have such a lovely relationship in canon, and it's so refreshing to see it explored here without it going where Rowling never intended. Favorite parts: "Last Christmas, she had been almost catatonic at times, never truly smiling and barely unrecognisable under the cloud the horcrux placed them both under. Even after the locket had been destroyed, there was always something that wasn't there anymore, an empty space that had once been filled." and... "Hermione laughed softly and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence while their eyes traced the flames flickering in front of them, both remembering last year, when protecting them from the cold was all a jumper could do." Brilliant.
I really enjoyed this. I think Hermione would be plagued with nightmares for a very long time, possibly forever. And whenever I imagine them, he is always there. :) Or else, it wouldn't be any fun, would it? Hehe. Nice job with this, especially using second person, which I confess isn't usually my favorite. It worked very well here though.I was completely shocked to click on this and see a recommendation for my own story in your chapter notes. That is just really cool of you. It kind of made my night, so thank you very much for the kind words. Take care, and happy writing! ~Lori
Clearly, I should read Persuasion. Or maybe just go back to chapter one and read this again. :) Carole, I had the absolute pleasure of reading this for the QSQs and don't mind telling you I was blown away. And that is saying something, because when your name is listed as the author, my expectations are already quite high. Love the characters and the pairing, and all the little subplots with the family and whatnot. I thought the house characteristics of all involved were especially well-done and yet the characters were unexpected, too, in a good way.Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, and so deserving of this win! Enjoy! ~ Lori
Okay, I wasn't planning to stop and review until I'm completely caught up, but holy crap, that was a great chapter. Honestly, Gina, I've joked about you being the queen of action, but in all seriousness, you deserve the title. And this wasn't even action really, but just the pace is so good, so... actiony. (See how great I am with the words?)The development of their relationship has been perfectly paced as well, and I am really pulling for them. Not to mention completely devastated when I consider how this ultimately ends for them, and the fact that Neville will never have the pleasure of knowing them properly. Sigh. You've done a good job, too, of including a lot of physical locations in this, and it feels completely grounded both in England and in Rowling's world... it's so easy to picture absolutely everything, which is not always the case with fanfiction. How much of the potion stuff is known and how much is your imagination? I'm really impressed, as I've researched belladonna before and not come up with nearly this amount of info... so wondering if you've invented a lot of this. If so, well done, as it bears the ring of truth and adds a lot to the story because of the detail. Wonderful work here, Gina. One of your best, in my humble opinion. Reading on....
Noooo.... now I have to wait like everyone else! Hehe. Well done with the Veritasserum and even more well down with Dawlish throwing off the curse. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Oh, Kara had to work hard on the Veritaserum questioning, so thank her. But Dawlish throwing it off was my own, so I'll take that one, lol. I really liked writing this chapter for some reason. It felt new and interesting to me. Plus it was good to write Frank's inner conflict and I felt so bad for John Dawlish the entire time I feel like I need to write him his own story now to redeem him! Thank you so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
Why, oh why, did I start reading this before the entire story is posted? The wait now will be painful, because this is so delightfully GOOD.Carole, how do you manage to outdo even yourself? You've always been one of the best around, but the plotting and characterization here are just perfect. I love the pace and the cliffhangers between chapters and the "threads" you keep weaving with every subplot! I honestly don't think of myself as generally liking mystery stories, but I do love cop/FBI investigation shows and books, so maybe I do. Several times while reading this, I completely forgot I was even reading fanfic, as it felt more like a David Baldacci novel. Because with those books, I always think "one more chapter," but then the end of that chapter makes me read just one more. Great stuff. Your Harry is so, so right. Really, it's hard for me to imagine him all grown up with teenagers, but you've really done it well. At first, I didn't like how aggravated he seemed when Hermione's name came up, but then when she showed up, I realized how well-pitched that actually was, with them being in opposition so often due to work. LOVED when you broke the tension there by having them crack up over the smart kids slumming it with the idiots. That was very sweet, and reminded readers that this professional look at their relationship is only the tip of the iceberg where Harry and Hermione are concerned. Every time a new, known character turns up, I smile. Hannah's bit was very good, and I'm enjoying Lavender and Teddy and Neville and everyone else... your version of Draco is about my favorite to read in fanfic, as he's still a complete ass, and yet, I'm always pulling for him. He clearly is good at what he does, and he loves his family, however grumbly and nasty he can be. But this is Scorpius' fic, isn't it? You've created such a brilliant character here, Carole. I like how he struggles to keep silent when no one would blame him for retorting to a lot of the derogatory comments he's been thrown. It would be hard to be him, that's for sure. And yet, the relationship with Draco is so complicated and interesting, and a nice sketch to compare with his growing relationship with Harry. I really need to go back and read High. I started it, got several chapters in, then got sidetracked by something in RL, and never made it back around to finish. But I was so enjoying it, and being reconnected with Scorpius in this makes me want to go back and finish more than ever. So sorry this is so long-winded. I had intended to stop every couple of chapters and review, but then I was too hooked to take the time when I wanted to see what was going to happen next. All according to your plan, I presume? Before I go, I shall posit my theories as others have done. I think McClaggen is gay. He covers it well, but the fact that he didn't sleep with Sally-Anne is a clue there, I think. I suspect he chose the location of his apartment for something other than the view? ;) Anyway, I shall keep my other theories to myself for now. I'm loving this. Never more than now do I think you should write OF. This is as good or better than many suspence/crime novels I've read, and I mean that seriously. And when you get down to it, Scorpius is essentially an OC. His parentage might be known, but he could have been anything. Love your version of him. Can't wait for more! Happy writing! ~Lori
Wow, I really did... enjoy this pairing, I mean. It makes so much sense, Remus being the wanderer that he was and her always being in the same place. Like an anchor or something. Nice balance here in the end with her reaction to the funeral and him being the one to comfor her for once. I never think of her as being responsible, but of course she would have seen it that way and dealt with that guilt.This is lovely, and when I think how quickly you turn out this kind of work, it makes me green with envy. Well done! ~Lori
I read this fic because it was chosen for discussion in SBBC this month, but I was happy to do it, as I always enjoy your drabbles in TTB. This piece is significantly longer than a drabble, but didn't feel at all long in the reading. It's very well done in terms of story and pacing, and I didn't notice the length at all.I like the structure you chose. The (flash forward) Amelia Bones POV worked nicely as bookends for the story of Evan and Dorcas. You tell us the end at the beginning and still manage to keep the reader invested and I think that is quite a feat. Both characters are fleshed out well. I like how conflicted Dorcas was about what she was doing, and yet she couldn't seem to resist Evan. I was particularly pleased to see Dorcas running the more dangerous part of the mission as opposed to Sirius, which would have been the more obvious choice. I may be biased, but it was refreshing to see the girl handling the bulk of the action in that section. Loved her cat-like escape off the balcony. Good stuff. Evan is always an interesting character to read in fanfic because every view of him is a bit different. (Except he's always quite a sexy thing, haha. Hey, it works!) The conflict you created in him was interesting. Perhaps conflict is not even the word for it, because he really was pretty disgusted with Voldemort and his ways at the point Dorcus runs into him at the ball. I liked how disconnected he was from his own identity as a Death Eater; it set things up nicely for him to become a spy for the Order. Very original take there, from what I've read of Evan Rosier. The end was sad, as it had to be, but you sank the blow that much deeper by having him promise Dorcas it would all be all right. What a tragedy, and even more of one because he died so well, so honorably, and no one will ever know. Even Amelia, who seemed to trust her friend's good opinion of Evan in the end, could not have imagined that he had not been attacking the ministry at all. If I were going to offer anything constructive, I would just mention that several consecutive paragraphs begin with the same word -- a character's name, if I remember correctly. I only noticed because it's something I do in my own writing and am trying to correct after a beta pointed it out to me recently. It didn't hamper my enjoyment of the fic though. Lovely writing. I enjoyed reading.
I had the pleasure of reading this fic a couple of times last year during judging for the QSQs, and I'm sorry I was negligent in leaving a review when the whole thing was over. I meant to do so, to tell you how much I enjoyed your writing in this.Next Generation is not my favorite category because so many of the characters function as (essentially) original characters, or are written as carbon-copy versions of their canon parents. But here, you grabbed me from the start; I think you accomplished this primarily by creating such a wonderful voice for Teddy. There's a matter-of-fact tone that shows us how quickly he learns how things work in life, or don't work. It starts when he upsets Andromeda by changing his hair to look like Tonks, but it goes on from there with his hard-core conclusions about things (true or not). I'm thinking particularly of his thought that Harry's words are a lie, but a pretty one. He's grown cynical, and who could blame him? Speaking of that cynicism, you communicated it brilliantly with so few words! One of my favorite moments was Teddy thinking there was going to be another anniversary memorial "because of course there was." Lines like that read so simply, and yet make him so very real. Another thing I really admire is how -- in a relatively short fic -- you handled a whole lot of big insight. I was interested in Teddy's thought that he doesn't miss his parents and he doesn't feel he's lacked anything because of how wonderful his grandmother and Harry have been to him as he's grown up. And yet there's an anger simmering there -- an appropriate one, in my opinion -- at the circumstances and the unfairness of it all. He's complaining about his lot, but it's a different kind of complaining and he doesn't really feel sorry for himself. Aside from his parents, the insight you give Teddy about the war is apt. I particuarly like the idea that no one really wins, but that one side rather loses a bit less than the other. Not an entirely new idea, but one that fits Teddy's POV very well at this point in his life. The highlight of the story, for me, was his conversation with Harry at the graves, and I see other reviewers have expressed the same feeling. Wow, what beautiful writing in that scene. Harry is absolutely wonderful. His comment about how young he really was when it all happened and how he didn't really even know it at the time was very moving, and I choked up a bit. (Poor Harry.) It's fitting that it's here, in this moment and this conversation and in the spot where his parents are buried, that Teddy finally gets what it was all about and comes to terms with it. And even better, the depth of that understanding urges him to find the one that he's always loved and tell her. Beautiful, beautiful ending scene. I probably shouldn't admit this lest I be stoned by the masses, but I have to confess one little niggle with the premise: I couldn't help wondering if the Weasleys would really forget Victoire's birthday entirely, even on those big anniversaries. When I think how desperate they must have been for something good, and how Victoire was this tiny new life, the first grandchild, a symbol of hope and love... it's just a little hard (for me) to accept that she would be completely ignored or forgotten even by her parents. Rather, I imagine the two events (the anniversary and her birthday) irrevocably tied up together in the life of this family. That said, I do really like your version of things because I'm a sucker for romance, and it's just lovely that Teddy is the one who always remembers and who truly sees her. So in the end, it's all good. Lovely, lovely work. Your story is beautiful and touching, and totally deserving of the QSQ win. Please accept my much-belated congratulations.
I have been anxious for the results to be posted so I could tell you how completely and utterly blown away I was by this fic. I think I read most of it with my mouth open and my face about half an inch from my monitor. The language and style of it is just so beautiful (in a twisted way) and evocative. The pregnancy and Merope's mental state throughout was done so brilliantly. I'm vaguely familiar with PICA as a pregnancy disorder, but only because I read all the books when I was pregnant. The way you brought it to life here was so, so good.This review is useless, really, except to say that your writing is truly on a level of its own, and I sincerely loved reading it in this piece. I'm looking forward to your final for the Romance class, and to trolling your author page at my earliest convenience. Congratulations! It's well deserved! Lori
This was a really nice read, Ellie. Cormac and Eloise--who would have imagined it? But it worked here because of the transformation we saw in Cormac over the span of the piece. He's such an ass in canon, really, there's just no other word for it. ;) And after the scene you wrote at the beginning, when he treated so horribly I wanted to stangle him, I thought, how is she going to get them together NOW? But you managed it well by doing it slowly, and an inch at a time in terms of the way his character changes.Your characterization of Eloise is lovely and very believable. She handles herself well, and I like that she doesn't take his abuse like a wimp, but dishes it right back out to him. My favorite part was the battle, which you wrote SO incredibly well. Great action in just a few words, really, and I find that so difficult to achieve. I'm glad Cormac was the one to get badly injured. Not sure why, but I just think it was fitting, rather than him realizing his feelings while sitting by her bedside, he realized them when he woke and found her sitting by his. Nice stuff. Really nice job making this rarest of pairs believable and enjoyable! I need to read more of your stuff! ~Lori
I enjoyed this, Jess. I like Teddy/Victoire but haven't read much of it -- not sure why. So it was an easy choice to click when I saw you'd written this. They have good chemistry, and it worked that he was a musician, though I've never considered that before.I'm glad you chose to make her emotional upon their reunion, as I was a little skeptical and fearing she was not as invested in him as he was in her. But you handled that well, and I'm glad she returned. One little thing: when Teddy is playing the song with the band, he references her departure as being two months prior. But then when she returns, he says, "It took you two years to figure that out?" I'm assuming it was two years that she had been gone, but I was a little confused at first. As always, I love your stuff. Thanks for not killing him off.
And I have snared another canon shipper. :DDD
I suppose there isn't too terribly many Teddy/Vic fics around these days, so that might account for the lack of reading it. It certainly wasn't a pairing I envisioned writing at any point. However, as you said, they do have chemistry.
In my head, Victoire is one of those people who is the last to admit she's wrong. I think she knew almost right away that allowing her internship to take her away from the people she cares about was a mistake, but as the story showed, it took her two years to figure this out AND do something about it. Teddy, on the other hand, has a true songwriter's soul. He could've chased after her, but he felt like he had to suffer being away from her because he wasn't enough for her or whatever his imagination used to validate being alone and miserable.
And as for the timeline, when the song was being worked on, it was to show the evolution of what the song started out as (a love song) to it being a song of heartbreak and of that heartbreak ending, despite what it really was in real life. There is a jump between two months and two years, mainly to show that Teddy, even after all this time, is still playing the same crappy song (the last one he wrote for Victoire) at every gig for months and months because he loved her and missed her, and he even wrote a happy ending to give himself some sort of hope. However, I can see where confusion could come in, so I'll try to delineate the time changes a little bit better with captions.
Thank you for the review. It's not often I can coax you onto my author page. Usually, I have to write canon fluff or destroy everything you love in a fireball of angst, so it's nice to find a happy medium. <3
Hellloooooo Gina. :) Had to pop in and let you know how much I enjoyed this one. Love and Order is easily my favorite of all your fics, so it was no surprise that I adored every moment of this one too. Love that Frank ended up proposing right in the middle of the meeting rather than put it off due to yet another interruption. Great stuff as always. ~Lori
Duuuuuuude. He is so freaking scary.Gina, this is very, very good. I don't know how many times I've wondered how Peter got there, into Voldemort's hands, loyal to him and handing over those he once loved. I always imagine him weak and cowardly, but this version is different. He isn't weak, he is out to prove something, to get something he thinks he deserves, something he needs but will never gain. Excellent writing as always, on all counts. :) I like the relationship with Dorcas and the progression of things in his mind, especially when she cheats. Interesting that disloyalty is the one thing he can't tolerate in her, and his own is glaring. Peter's presence at her murder is unbelievably chilling. At this point, he is at the height of evil. She would have known what he was, died knowing he gave her over to be hunted down and murdered. Poor, poor Dorcas. She didn't deserve it. My favorite bit in this was in the first section, when Sirius calls him Wormy, and he mutters, "I hate that name." Whoa. The hatred is simmering underneath the surface and has been for some time, if the names they all use as evidence of their secrets and their bond of friendship has become something he despises. And why not? Wormy is not the same kind of name as the others. I thought this was a great choice on your part... just that little grumble over the name shows so much of how far gone Peter already is at this point. Great, great stuff here, Gina. But then, I always enjoy your writing, so no suprise on that front. Take care. ~Lori