Well, it's pretty darn good. I have to ask, though, have you read Twilight? The style of conversation and Blaise and Harper's relationship remind me very much of that series. And although Twilight was not really my cup of tea, I promise to read this one all the way through. It's really very good.
Author's Response: I've not actually read Twilight, though it's been recommended many times to me so perhaps I should. Thanks for reading. Next chapter soon, hopefully. :D
That was a really great chapter! I have to admit, though, I wanted Harper's first word (when she got her voice back) to be Blaise. It was excellent the way you did it, though.
Author's Response: That would have been really sweet, actually. :) So glad you liked :D
Totally wicked idea. Totally something Hermione would do. And as it's written by her, I expect it to be done in like, two days. JK :)
Also, so cool that the first review is by Hermione's therapist.
Oh, jeez, I can't decide whether I like your banners or your writing better :) This story was really well written. I especially liked the parts Remus and Peter played. Their dialogue was fantastic.
It's quite odd to think about Sirius doling out advice like that, but the way you wrote it was completely in-character. Both James and Sirius seemed unsure of what they were saying, like they had never thought about growing up or deep relationships before. That is completely true to their character, in my opinion. Well done.
I don't have much of a real review, but I just wanted to tell you that I really love your Theo. I made the banner after I read your story 'Golden Boy' and absolutely fell in love with your characterization of him. I cannot tell you how happy I was when you chose my banner as inspiration. It's come very full-circle, I guess. =) This is fantastic writing.
Author's Response: OOOH, thank you so much. I was so waiting for an excuse to write my Theo story, and the banner really helped me get it into gear because the only other version I had was from Justin's POV. I hope you like chapter 2. I shall submit soon. Thanks again. The banner is gorgeous. ~Carole~
I really enjoyed this fic! It’s always interesting when an author looks closer at characters that aren’t super witty and friendly (and are actually just supposed to be ugly and stupid in the books). You didn’t romanticize them at all, which was good. I liked how they still both felt really slow, like here: “But, with no one else to encourage her or show her where to sign up, she didn’t know what to do.” However, it’s good to see that just because characters are thick doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions.
I liked the parallel in the beginning (and throughout) of how they are both insecure about their bodies. It was also funny and appropriate that the first thing she thinks when he approaches her at the window is how he’s like a troll: “He had the gait of a blundering beast, like a troll, and he flapped his arms as he tried to convince her not to jump.”
I was a bit confused by this sentence, though:
“But she supposed he also felt trapped because of their parents’ command to bring her back.”
Millicent had run out, so I didn’t think she heard Mrs. Flint tell Marcus to go find her. I suppose Millicent just assumed that Marcus was there at his parent’s request, but it wasn’t super clear.
Overall, this was a really clever and well-characterized fic! All of the parents (even late Mr. Bulstrode) were really strongly characterized in a very short time. I also really loved the passage about the Inquisitorial Squad and Amycus. It was awful and sad but really poignantly written. Nice work!
Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reviewing. I always squee when I get a review for this because I was so sure that very few people would give this story a chance. Thank you, also, for pointing that out. I will look into it. (I'd written this story in such a hurry for 2011's Cotillion that I didn't give the writing a lot of attention :X) I'm glad you liked the characterisation, for that is something I planned carefully. It was one of my goals to make this pairing possible, even likeable in a semi-horrifying way. -Natalie