Hi there! I’m Soraya. I’m seventeen years old and am a proud Muslim British Bangladeshi. I live in East London and have loved reading and writing from a young age. I’m rather obsessed with Harry Potter (aren’t we all?), tea (not a surprise considering I’m a Brit) and good grammar. Recently, I've also got into the Supernatural fandom. After watching the first episode, I had already fallen head over heels in love with Sam Winchester, so it's no surprise that I am now a huge SPN fangirl as well as a Potterhead.
My writing has changed quite a bit over the years, and I think you'll probably notice that, the further down my author page you go, the more the quality seems to drop :P I started posting stories on here at the age of fourteen, and at nearly eighteen, I can see how much my writing has improved since those Dark Ages. So, for that reason, I would advise you stick to the more recent stuff, if you choose to read anything of mine.
Just so you know, these are posted firstly according to what kind of pairing, if any, is in the story, and then in chronological order in accordance to my own canon, not necessarily the order in which they were posted.
My first chaptered fic. It’s terribly written, but I still have a place in my heart for it because of how much fun it was to write. This story has now been deleted on MNFF, but if you really, really want to read it, you can still find it on FF.net and HPFF. (I advise you don't, though :P)
Second Childishness and Mere Oblivion (James/Lily)
Written for Round One (Major Characters) of Madam Pomfrey’s Character Clinic Triathlon, this one-shot is about James and Lily’s relationship getting rockier and rockier after they left Hogwarts, especially when Lily is faced with the trials of being a wife and motherhood. A little smutty.
My Love is Always Here (James/Lily)
This was a belated birthday present for the wonderful Gina/Gmariam, aka the queen of James/Lily. This is mostly about Lily dealing with becoming a mother for the first time and the problems (as well as the joys) that come with that.
There's an Answer (Remus/Tonks)
Written for Sophie/The owl for SPEW Summer Swap IV. Tonks is sent on an interesting baby Auror assignment to do with werewolves. Remus and a dangerous Muggle are thrown into the mix, with interesting results.
Left Behind (Remus/Tonks)
An expanded version of one of my LoveNotes, written for SPEW. It's a missing moment set between OOTP and HBP, where in my head canon Remus and Tonks have been together, in secret, for a few weeks already and Remus is then told to go on his werewolf mission. Slightly smutty.
One and Only (Remus/Tonks)
Written for the lovely Alex/Ithinkrabis2people in the Ravenclaw Christmas Drabble Exchange. This is a missing moment set just after Tonks’s outburst to Remus in the hospital wing at the end of HBP.
Out of My Life (Harry/Ginny)
My only AU (kind of). I tweaked a small part of canon in this -- basically, Harry actually said goodbye to Ginny properly when he broke up with her. Very angsty, and this is only up for sentimental reasons, as I wrote it during The Dark Ages (aka when I was fourteen).
A Different Kind of Magic (Harry/Ginny)
Written for the You’re Having My Baby challenge at SIYE. Ginny finds out she’s pregnant, but Harry receives the news before her and therefore has to tell his wife. This was my first ever story at MNFF. It was written when I was thirteen, and it definitely shows.
A Different Kind of Magic 2: Parenthood (Harry/Ginny)
A sequel, obviously, to A Different Kind of Magic. Ginny goes into labour, and both Harry and Ginny realise what it means to be parents. Again, this was written from Back in the Days.
The Caustic Ticking of the Clock (Rowena/Helga)
Written for the Great Hall Cotillion, this story is my only Founders story so far, and it’s about Rowena and Helga’s secret relationship. I am proud of this one, which doesn’t usually happen :)
Catching Fire (James/Sirius)
This was written for SPEW 007. My prompt was “Embers”, and it’s set just after Remus’s second transformation with the Marauders. James is badly injured, and he and Sirius realise, inadvertently, that they might just have feelings for each other. I like the pairing but still think the story needs work. One day I will go back and edit.
Flicker and Fail (Katie/Leanne)
This was written forSecret SPEW, and my recipient was the absolutely fabulous Alex/welshdevondragon. It’s my take on Leanne and Katie’s relationship from way before they were even at Hogwarts as well as what eventually happens to Katie in HBP, when she was cursed.
Skinny Love (Louis/Lily)
Written for the 2013 Great Hall Cotillion. Set during Teddy and Victoire's wedding, Louis helps Lily come to terms with her bulimia. This one was pretty difficult to write.
Blood and Roses (Scorpius/Rose, Scorpius/Dominique, Dominique/OC)
Written for the Great Hall Mysterious Maychallenge, this was my first Next Generation fic about Scorpius, mostly, and the trials he faces after his daughter is murdered.
Broken Glass (Louis/Lily)
This is the story of when Loulily really began. After the deaths of his immediate family, Louis is finding it hard to cope, even six months later. Lily somehow helps. It’s a little smutty. I’m proud of this one, too :)
The Highway of Regret (Scorpius/Lily, Scorpius/Rose, Louis/Lily)
Also written for the Great Hall Cotillion. It’s my one and only Scily. This is all about secret relationships and mistakes people make. Lily’s angry at Louis, and Scorpius has just broken up with Rose; when Lily gets drunk in the pub, things... happen. :P
I Will Lay Down My Heart (Albus/Rose, Scorpius/Rose)
Written for Round Two (Minor Characters) of Madam Pomfrey’s Character Clinic Triathlon. Albus has been in love with Rose for years, but what happened with them when they were younger has put a dent in their relationship. It doesn’t help that Rose is actually in love with Scorpius, either. This is smutty too.
One More Night (Albus/Rose, Rose/Scorpius)
Companion piece to I Will Lay Down My Heart. This goes into more detail about Rose and Albus's changing relationship as well as the aftermath of the events in said companion story. Probably the smuttiest thing on my page. :D Written for the Great Hall Cotillion 2013.
This was written for the Great Hall-iday challenge for the Operation: Mistletoe prompt, and this was where my love for Loulily began.
This is about how five men in Potterverse dealt with remorse in different ways.
This poem is about how Remus feels about Sirius (not slashy, btw).
Written for the Magic in Music challenge over inPoetry, Anyone? This was set to the track “Obliviate” in DH1 and is about Hermione modifying her parents’ memories.
Written for the Goodbyechallenge in Poetry, Anyone? This was about saying goodbye, and how difficult it could be.
After All This Time
Written for the Deathly Hallows challenge inPoetry, Anyone?. I ship unrequited Snape/Lily, and this is probably the only time Snape will be on my author page, lol.
Written for the MC Kreacher challenge inPoetry, Anyone? This was written from the POV of Bill Weasley after his wife’s death.
Written for the Great Bannermakers’ Hallchallenge. The banner I picked had Merope Gaunt on it, and it’s probably my darkest story; it’s definitely the only one to have a dubious consent warning. It’s about, as you might guess, the abuse Merope suffered from her father and brother.
In Care (Marlene/OC)
Marlene McKinnon, as a care kid, eventually falls in love with another care kid, Jamal Olawumi. But he's a Muggle, and keeping her world secret proves difficult. This is definitely a story I would like to revisit and tidy up.
Just Across the Bar (Sirius/Rosmerta)
Sirius is just about of age, but obviously Rosmerta has misgivings about having feelings for Sirius, who is still a student. Written for the 2013 Great Hall Cotillion and also smutty.
Written for SPEW 007. My prompt was “Juggling”, and it’s just a silly piece of dialogue-only banter between Remus and Sirius. Sirius realises Remus likes Tonks, and he tries to persuade Remus to act on his feelings.
Hanging by a Thread (Katie/Oliver)
Written for the lovely Jess/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor for Secret SPEW VII. Katie is grieving and drowning her sorrows in alcohol and Oliver is trying his best to save Muggles, while trying also to bury feelings for Katie that he thought he had long since forgotten about. There is also, surprise surprise, some smut in this.
And that’s it! Along with being a moderator, I’m also a member of SPEWand SBBC. I hope to see you around on the forums; feel free to contact me via PM or review if you have any questions or comments about my stories!
Awwwww, they are so adorably awkward together, lol. And yet I just want them to get back togetherrrrrrr.
This is a very short review because I really want to see where things are going, Gina, but rest assured I am loving it so far :D
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Soraya! I'm glad you are enjoying it so far and hope you enjoy the rest. It'll be short. More awkwardness to come. ;) Thank youuuuuu~ Gina :)
The plot thickens! OMG, Gina, this is great! I really liked this, and I think, again, you captured the whole badass Order thing perfectly. I loved the definite awkwardness between James and Lily in this, and I also think the tension regarding the Death Eater attack was really well-written.
I... have no crit whatsoever! Fabbity fab fab. :D I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you for the Order comment. This one wasn't bothering me as much as trying to give Frank and Alice an assignment. That totally tanked. *sigh* I'm glad I could build up the tension well enough, now onto the attack. No crit, really? Wow. So glad you enjoyed it, hope I live up in the rest, lol! ~Gina :)
What a great story! After receiving so many lovely reviews from you, I thought it was about time I returned the favour, and I must say, this story is up there with your best. Your exploration of Ron’s character was spot-on, both in terms of his mannerisms and actions, but also his deeper characteristics, like how his Boggart had changed over time. I also liked your portrayal of Ron and Hermione’s relationship. Ultimately, though, I thought it was Ron’s compelling characterisation that stood out to me and really drove your story forward.
Ron’s maturity and change in priorities in Deathly Hallows really showed in what his Boggart was. I admire how you dug into Ron’s psyche here, because I could see Ron changing and becoming tougher as he grew older, just as his Boggart was becoming more serious than simply a spider. As another reviewer mentioned, you demonstrated that some Boggarts are harder to overcome than others. I really liked the subtlety of Ron’s fear here -- perhaps the Boggart being Hermione’s dead body was expected, but I liked how you extended that, as he also had the dilemma in how to confront the Boggart. I myself don’t know how he could have made Hermione’s dead body funny or destroy it in any way, apart from by saving her, so I really connected with Ron during that moment. It reminded me of Molly’s Boggart in OotP, and I thought you emphasised how helpless Ron felt at not being able to help Hermione.
Hermione’s characterisation was wonderful, too. I liked that she still bossed Ron around and bickered with him, as that brought things back to canon and showed that their relationship hadn’t really changed much from when they were at school. I also thought it was interesting that Hermione overcame Ron’s Boggart for him. I really appreciated seeing their dependence on each other in this way, especially when Hermione admitted that she had depended on Ron, too, when she was being tortured by Bellatrix and Ron’s voice was the only thing keeping her going. Not only did you highlight Ron’s helplessness at the idea of Hermione’s death, but also, I think you really brought out how strong Ron’s feelings for Hermione were.
Style-wise, I felt your story really got to the bare bones of Ron’s character by the simple, pared down writing. I don’t think I would have identified with Ron nearly as strongly without that simplicity, and considering Ron’s worst fear is the focus of the story, it was fitting that the emotions were so powerfully felt, both in the present and past. I thought you incorporated the flashback of the events of Malfoy Manor effectively and in a way that was never confusing, which I know from experience isn’t always easy. I did think the shift to Hermione’s point of view was a little abrupt, as the story had been in Ron’s perspective up until that point. Perhaps it might have been better to use a paragraph break to show the change in viewpoint, for clarity’s sake. However, on the whole, I thought the narrative flowed smoothly, particularly the flashback.
When I first read this story, I’ll admit I did pause at the idea of Ron and Hermione only discussing what happened in Malfoy Manor several years after the fact. But when I thought about it, it makes sense, because being tortured isn’t exactly easy to talk about, and the events of Malfoy Manor happened so quickly, so I'm guessing they never really got the chance to sit down and talk about it properly. And I also got the impression that perhaps the two of them had some communication problems as a result not just of Malfoy Manor but also the Battle of Hogwarts, Fred’s death and so on. I could see how that affected both of them in this story. I’m glad you included such imperfections in their relationship, because that is what made this all the more real and believable to read.
Overall, Nadia, I really enjoyed this story. It was a fabulous character study of Ron, while also showing a fresh take of Romione as a pairing. And as I've been out of the HP loop for a while, this was a great story to get me back into it. Good job, and keep it up!
Alex, this was fabbity fabbbbb! I remember reading the original Rest in the Bed, and I was rather sad to see it go, so it was so nice to read this. I felt a lot of the questions I had regarding Scorpius/Lily were answered.
ZOMG, I loved it so much that I even forgave you for making Louis gay, lolol. Although you might have got the idea from that joke Lily made, hehehehehe :P No, seriously, I did like the fact that you had Louis and Lily as friends, at least, because I love any kind of relationship between them, and I think it was done fabulously, especially since it's clear they understood each other well.
Scorpius is a silly boy for choosing that Tanya bitch over Lily, though. O.o Still, he's hot :P I squeed so hard when you included the shower scene. I... for some reason, I had a thing for them, and though I'm over that now, I am so glad I kind of dared you to write it on AIM haha. And the shoehorn... lolololol. Like I didn't even know such a thing existed -- I had no idea a shoehorn was used as a noun.
And what I loved the most about this fic? It's just so simple in terms of plot, but the emotions felt by Lily and Scorpius are so much more complicated than that. Like I should have been mad at Scorpius for leaving Lily, but I couldn't be, because like Lily, I can't blame him for falling in love with someone else. (Given I am channelling Lily, this should come to no surprise :) )
Know that you are fabulous and that I don't deserve such loveliness. Heart youuuuuuu!
A birthday present for the ever wonderful Soraya, whose praises I have sung so many times I have run out of words. Happy Birthday, Soraya - have a good cry. :P
So I think this will be an entirely flaily review that is written in a stream of consciousness. Fair warning, lol.
Awwwww cute James/Lily is always cute. And I love how you manage to capture that ever-familiar feeling of dread because of the war -- Marauder Era is so your thing! You really should write it more often. I feel you really caught the mood in a realistic manner for people of their age, only just leaving school. And it makes me so sad to see Lily and James hoped to have children, plural, but were never able to have more than one :( On another note, it was lovely to see that whole thing of being scared of adulthood -- I so get what they mean. Because me... seventeen... just no, ha.
AND DOUBLE AWWWWWW. So Remus and Sirius are already together? Yayyyy. I love Sirius. He is adorable, especially when he’s blushing lol. And James’s “Oh” is perfect. Just perfect. And Sirius -- squeeeee! “I want to live with this one” -- like I said, perfection :D
Yussssss to Lily helping get Sirius and Remus together in the end :D I always thought she would have something to do with it. And awww it was like Sirius proposed to Remus, in a way, haha.
EEEEEP how terse! Oh, you have really got me emotional now with that situation *just* before James and Lily’s deaths. And I so get why Sirius would suspect Remus during such a difficult time, too. That ending “Love you” is wonderfully placed, as well :D and so so heartbreaking.
I want to hug Remus so much when seeing him in so much pain emotionally. As well as other things, but I won’t go into that here, lol.
That final scene -- I LOVE the nostalgia of them as former lovers and all those years not seeing each other and that mutual decision to try again. That last line in particular just broke my heart, though: "I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for lost time." CRYYYYYYYY!
Overall, Jamie, you should be well aware of how amazing you are and how much this means to me. THANK YOU SO MUCH and I heart you lots!
YAYYYYYYY JIRIUS! :D
Gina, I LOVED this! (Not that that’s any surprise, lol.) It’s rather different from your James/Lily, which is the last thing of yours I read, and I think there’s something so much more beautifully angsty about this story which is made even more heartbreaking because I know they don’t end happily, at least not on Sirius’s part. :(
Drunk!Sirius is a bit scary, ngl. And yet it is completely in character for him, I think, given he was so depressed in OOTP and likely bordering on becoming an alcoholic, too, which makes me rather sad. :( But that’s what makes this fic so powerful -- the fact that James being with Lily could set him off like that just proves that he really was in love with James all along, and I refuse to believe otherwise at least in my own head canon. :D
Awwww he gets so jealous! Poor Sirius. And he even admits he’s trying to be happy for James but can’t and that just makes it so much sadder. And then he tries not to say anything, and I can’t help but want to scream at James to just understand already, lol.
I wish James returned Sirius’s feelings! They are so hot together -- but I see why they didn’t end up together. After all, James loves Lily, and I think the way you set it up is so, so IC of James -- and, of course, you know James inside out, so I’m glad things played out the way they did, even if Sirius ended up worst off.
Oh, typical of Sirius to blame the drink. Sigh. AND THEN JAMES SAYS I LOVE YOU TO SIRIUS AND OH I AM JUST FLAILING SO HARD SQUEEEEE.
You are Siriusly amazingly fantabulous, Gina. I am so glad to call you a friend, and I really do not deserve such fabness from you, honestly. I heart you!
Author's Response: So glad you liked it, dear! It was a thrill to write! Remember when we were chatting and you mentioned your SPEW prompts? I may or may not have stalked those a bit. I had this drabble and when I saw James/Sirius and saw unrequited I was like OH OH OH! And it just literally wrote itself. But, to put it in perspective, I also beta-ed Jamie's piece, wrote Sirius's boggart, and that battle you did for me. Hence the angssssssst! But, it could have gone like this - like you said, in this story, I tried to keep in iC and have it make sense in the end. Poor Sirius. Can you imagine? Bit like that moment in Monochrome between him and Remus *sigh* However, I must agree on the hot thing because MERLIN can I picture this, lol! Anyway, that's rambly enough. A tremendous thank you for the review and yet another HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So glad you liked it, you deserve it! ~Gina :)
Let me begin with apologies. The stupid archives ate my review ages ago, and I’ve been meaning to review this pile of utter gorgeousness for weeks now, but school has been so busy D: that I haven’t had time. Sorry! And I was going to review it for SPEW, but then I remembered how fabulous it was and realised I would collapse into a wibbling heap of flailiness, so to make sure I’m not kicked out of SPEW, lol, prepare for another terrible stream-of-consciousness review, only, well, three weeks late?
Now, I don’t know the song, but I am listening to it now, and... hmmmm. Interesting! I think I like this one more than the other one you and Lily recced to me a while back.
And awwwwwww poor Sirius! D: I feel so sorry for him, being stuck in that prison cell for so long. And I totally get why he would suspect Remus of being the traitor -- I think you conveyed the paranoia of that time period so well, and the guilt that Sirius feels just breaks my heart. Aaaahhhh.
Also, this line:
I put my trust in a rat rather than the person who set my blood on fire with a glance or a mere sigh.
*FLAILLLLLLLLLLLL* I looove that. Fabulously put, my dear Jess. I may or may not be nominating that for the quotations thing :)
And then he’s off! Ugh I wish Sirius had killed Peter. And then he and Remus could’ve lived happily ever after and neither of them would have died :( :( :(
What makes me so sad is that Sirius and Remus don't have a chance in the end. But at the same time, I can see why that happened, with their romance having burned out when they were young. The way you have it, it’s so heartbreaking but also realistic.
AND THEN HE DIEEEEES NOOOOOO! :( Ha, I knew that would happen, obviously, but it still makes me weep every time I read it in fanfic. Also, I love that you continued the story into the afterlife -- I find that stuff so interesting. :D
Awww, I love the whole section of Remus/Tonks. This bit in particular:
She can fix him. I’m more certain about this than anything, either in life or death. I know this because of the way she holds him: not like he will break at any moment, but reverently, as if he were the most precious thing in the world.
was beautiful, and I love how you didn't undermine the canon pairing, but if anything, you beautified it. and I squeed when I read “colourful baby boy” because that just sounds so cute.
OOOOOH THE BATTLE. That was written so well, Jess! And then Remus dies :( OH but then they kiss and James and Lily are there, lololol. :D It reminds me a bit of Sophie’s fic (the one she wrote for my birthday), actually -- and I think, for someone who says Marauders aren’t her strong suit, this story proves otherwise, because your characterisation of James and Lily and Sirius is fabulous.
Yayayayayayayay a serious/Sirius joke xD I do love those things. And I love how this ended so happily, too.
All in all, if you don't know that you are amazing and fabulous and a bloody brilliant writer... well, you do now. :D THANK YOUUUU for writing such a gorgeous story for me -- it means so much. Know that I heart you lots and fangirl you even more.
I have no excuses. None at all. Well, except for how bloody busy I’ve been lately which has meant I haven’t got round to reviewing your lovely, lovely pile of loveliness until now D: I am sooo sorry. But here I am, only, um, three weeks late! Just so you know, this will be an awful, nowhere-near-SPEW-worthy, stream-of-consciousness review.
I love the set up of this story! I think it’s so light-hearted and written in such a... what’s the word... bouncy way, almost, and I love how fun the banter is between James and Lily. That kind of Marauder dialogue never ever gets old, at least not for me. And I giggled so much about how they were speculating over Remus and Sirius’s relationship (I so agree with Lily -- they are hot together) and the tickling, hehehehehe.
And then I get to see my gorgeous boys together! :D I love how you managed to suggest so much but never make it explicit, because while I am partial to smut, I also think that the people who can make something that’s 3rd-5th sexy still have some serious (sorry, lol) talent. So much of what happens between Remus and Sirius is implied, and I definitely think the less is more approach worked perfectly here. I also love how you switched scenes quite a few times in the story and yet how they were always connected in some way. Beautifully done, my dear. :)
“You’re so adorable when you’re helpless on the floor,” he explained.
Aaaaaahhhhh! Such a James line! :D :D :D Oh they are so lovely and witty, the pair of them. Sophie, you write James so well. I think you deserve to have him in his Hogwarts years at least just for that line. And I giggled at this:
James’s hands were too busy elsewhere to worry about little things like doors.
and then that last line was priceless, when, hahahahahahahaa, they found Remus and Sirius together, lolol:
“Sorry to interrupt, guys,” she called happily.
I love how you made Lily so carefree in this. Seriously (sorry, ha, I can’t help it), I think you do so well in veering completely away from the clichés and really making Lily your own as a character.
Well, I think that’s it! I am soooo sorry for taking an age to review this, but school and RL in general have been byotches. Sorry about that. This story is fabulous. So are you. I heart you lots, and I hope you write more of both pairings in the future, because I think you did a wonderful job of it. :D
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you for such a lovely review, Soraya. You don't have to make excuses for anything. I've been awful at replying to you!
Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this, and, well you know you say it was bouncy? I think I was bouncing a little bit as I wrote. These characters just fill me with squee. I'm glad I managed to convince you of Sirius & Remus's hotness together -- they're certainly that way in my head :p I'm no good at writing explicit smut, but I do like making implications, haha.
The scene switches... Well, I think they pretty much happened when I was struggling to figure out what should come next with one pairing. It wasn't planned; the connections just sort of reflect my thought process at the time. I'm so glad you thought it worked. And my Lily and James too. I'm so bad at thinking things through as I write, so it's fabulous to hear that you liked them. I can't believe you just offered to give me James, though! Natalie won't be pleased :p
That's all I can think of to say right now, except thank you, thank you, thank you again. You don't need to apologise for anything because this review makes me soooo happy! I heart you lots too <3
Having thoroughly enjoyed modding your chaptered Romione story, Seven Simple Years, I thought it was about time I visited your author page, and I am so glad I did, because this story was so powerful and well-written. It’s a shame it only has two reviews, really, because it certainly deserves more than that. You write angst beautifully, and there’s a real honesty and lyricism to your writing style that shone in this story.
As the central character of the story, I think you nailed Ron here during two moments in his life when I’m sure he felt the worst. The first, when he left Harry and Hermione in the tent, was so emotionally explosive: the guilt, desperation and the voices of doubt inside his head were all done very well. I could see how deeply Ron regretted doubting Harry and ignoring Hermione, especially when he was crying, something I can barely remember him doing in canon and yet something that fitted in perfectly in that moment. And the second, after they returned from Malfoy Manor, was also packed with emotion, but I could see the difference between the two sections -- there was far more hope in the latter section, and I think you showed Ron’s transformation perfectly. He was still scared, yes, but that fear was for Hermione, and there was no guilt this time, and the change in Ron’s character was so subtle and yet so effective.
When I read your author’s notes, I was a little unsure, I’ll admit, about the plot, mostly because I’ve never read a Ron fic where he contemplates suicide. I wasn’t sure how in character it would be, but I needn’t have doubted, because I think you did a fabulous job of exploring Ron’s emotions and yet always retaining his characterisation. The backdrop of the war is never forgotten in this fic; I like how it’s not just the thought of Hermione, or Harry, that stops Ron from killing himself; it’s more about Ron himself and what he meant to his family, too particularly in this line: “People cared about him. People missed him. Above all, he knew he could be better than what he was currently. He may be beaten, lost and barely recognisable now, but the real him and the person he could be, were still there somewhere.” I felt like I really identified with Ron there, and I understood why he was thinking about suicide, because he doubted his own loyalty so much. But I also understood why he stopped himself: for his own self-worth and for the people he loved. I thought you dealt with what is a very sensitive subject with due respect, in that it was realistically handled, justified and never glorified, which is what I think is of utmost importance with D/A fics.
Even though the story wasn’t particularly plotty, I was engrossed from beginning to end because of your style, which was poetic with some great turns of phrase. The one that stayed with me the longest was “The sibilance could have been from a hot iron, branding words like 'failure' and 'traitor' into his skin where they belonged”, because again, I sympathised so much with Ron in that moment. I did think, at times, that the use of “thirty hours” was a little too repetitive, even if it is the title. The symmetry of it is good, and I liked how this motif in the story linked the two scenes together, but perhaps it would have been more effective if it was used slightly more sparingly (so instead of using the phrase in the first three paragraphs, it might have been more effective if the phrase was only repeated in one paragraph). However, this is quite a minor point, and in no way did it hinder my enjoyment of the story, especially as the simplicity and lyricism of your writing style is what brought the story alive.
In terms of structure, I thought the length was perfect for a concise, well-told story, and the full-circle elements -- the fact that he was at the cliff during both sections -- really helped in proving what a u-turn Ron as a character had made. And while I generally like stories with dialogue in it, I barely noticed the lack of dialogue in this story, because it read almost like Ron’s internal monologue. The fact that it was all narrative intensified the tension of Ron’s situation as well as highlighted the fact that Ron was alone, at least in the first part. The absence of speech also made the story so much more introspective, which worked really well in exploring Ron’s emotions. Hermione’s two sole words of speech, therefore, were so full of optimism and hope, and I liked that you retained that introspective feel of the story by italicising speech instead of using speech marks.
Above all, I thought both sections were great missing moments in really showing what Ron felt, because that was one side of the story that I didn’t really see so much in DH. I enjoyed reading it especially because of the new material you brought in, rather than just rehashing what we already know in canon; the missing moment was brought alive and the story carried forward by your lovely writing style and, ultimately, your excellent characterisation.
Keep up the good work, and I hope to read more from you soon!
Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reading, reviewing and modding SSY as well - it is all very much appreciated :) Ron crying is always a hard thing to put into a story because he only cries about three times in canon, but I'm really glad that you think it worked here. I was trying to show how much he had changed, as well as that although they were stood in the same place, Ron and Hermione felt very different things. The first moment is definitely the low point in the books for Ron and I think I just took that idea and ran with it. Despite all this though, he still a strong person so I felt it was important to have him not go through with it for himself. I was really worried about that line about the branding so it's nice to hear that it worked. This whole story started because I wanted to write something without dialogue actually. I thought those two words being italicised would be cheating! Anyway, thank you so much for this detailed review :)
Ooooooooh, Gina, this is really interesting! This will be a short review because I'm really intrigued now, but just to say that I haven't read much fanfic outside of the queue (and lj...) for a while, so I thought this story would be a good starting point. You've characterised Frank and Alice nicely, and I think the set up of it is done really well. I can see that them having a past is likely a recipe for disaster, lol -- I can't wait to see how they get together. Also, your dialogue is fabulous and bantery. :D
Anyway, enough from me. See you at the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for coming to read this story! I'm glad you enjoyed the beginning! Yay for banter! I was worried it might not work outside of my J/L universe, lol. Thank you for the review!! ~Gina :)
OOOOOOOOOOH, the plot thickens! :D This is a great chapter, Gina. I think you did well in creating chemistry between Alice and Frank, and you've done a fabulous job of having a pretty tense atmosphere in the Auror Office. And the inclusion of John Lupin is just so intriguing -- this story reads like a crime book, to me, and that's my favouritest genre to read, so yay to that.
Also, Frank is so endearing as a character -- I love how serious he is and how Alice has managed to loosen him up at least a little. I can see why he would be uptight, with a mother like Augusta, lol. I am loving Alice's characterisation, too: she's feisty and pretty damn badass.
Off to chapter three (yes, I will probably finish reading what's up today... I'm just too engrossed right now to stop!)
Author's Response: Thank youuuu! I did think, just a bit, that if I played it right, this could have gone into the mystery category, which I've never done, but in the end it's more about them than what's going on around them. I'm glad you like the characterization. They really came to life for me, which was good because I live with the Marauders in my head so often, lol. Thanks again!! ~Gina :)
Ooooh I like John. I can see Remus in him, although I'm wondering what happened to Remus's mother... hmm, I wonder if she'll turn up later on.
I also really admire how determined Frank is to get to the bottom of things. He's an amazingly dedicated person, and I think you put that across really well. You know, reading this makes me sad because we know how they end up :( although this is of course a good thing. I noticed at the beginning that there was something very JKRish about this story. I can't quite put my finger on what it is -- perhaps your style is a little bit more formal? Anyway, I love your attention to detail and the way you can so easily put forward important information (in this case, the issues with the werewolf community) without making it an infodump.
I also loved the inclusion of the Marauders, even if they are only by name, as well as the very evident backdrop of war throughout this story so far. Oh, and finally, I think it's great that you're really not rushing the romance. Like, I can see they're both at least vaguely attracted to each other (but I know that anyway because they marry and all that, lol), but I like that you're taking your time with things rather than rushing their romance, if you know what I mean.
Great job! :D
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed John Lupin's appearance. It came to me months ago but I just didn't think it would work. And the Marauders themselves will make more concrete appearances as well. And I'm glad it doesn't seem rushed, I hope that doesn't change, lol. Thanks so much for all the reviews!! ~Gina :)
Wowowowow, Gina, that was intense! :D You write action so well, and I think you fleshed out the Death Eaters really well too. I guess Alice probably thought she cocked that up, but I'm glad Frank thought she was good in the field. Yay to that :)
I have to say, reading about them being undercover was rather lulzy, even though that cover was quickly blown. Like I said, I think this has a great cop show feel to it, somehow, and I love it :D
AND THEN OMG THE ENDING OF THIS CHAPTER. What happened to John? DDDD: I neeeeed the next chapter. Update soon, and know you are amazing ;)
Author's Response: This was such fun to write! Yes, it does have that cop show/spy caper feel to it, hee hee. But then the end - dun dun dun! I love cliffhangers. So glad for your reaction. ;) Thank you for the compliment. I'm not all that but I'm so glad you are enjoying the story! Thanks!! ~Gina :)
Yayayayyayay new chapter! :D
And what a chapter that was, too. O.o I thought you were pretty darn evil to leave us with such a cliffhanger, so I was very happy to read this chapter and find out what happened. Am sad John Lupin died :( :( :( He was a good guy. And I feel so sorry for poor Remus.
I think you dealt with the aftermath of the action very well, and the urgency of Frank and Alice at least trying to come to Robards' rescue was really well done. I'm glad Robards is okay, though. Anyway, the overarching plot with the werewolves going over to the dark side is really intriguing, and I love the balance of plots -- romance and mystery. My favourite :) That ending in particular was lovely; I can't wait for one of them to make a move. For some reason, I hope it's Alice. Either way, though, I think again you're not rushing their romance at all and that's what's making it so convincing.
I shall shut up now. Man, I haven't left such rambly reviews in ages, lol! Great story, Gina, and update soon!
Author's Response: Balance? Yay! Lovely ending? Yay! Alice making the move...you'll have to wait and see. Can't rush it after all, lol. Yes, it's a bit shocking and sad, but it was always going to happen. Once someone is slated to die in one of my stories, it almost never changes. Poor Remus indeed. Thank you so much for reading this so quickly! I really appreciate all the reviews and hope the rest of the story lives up to them! ~Gina :)
Hey Gina! :D fab chapter, as per usual. I love Gideon and Fabian in this, even they weren’t major characters or anything; there’s just something quite cheerful about both of them that reminds me, of course, of Fred and George. Also, I felt sorry for Frank, having been through so much -- it was no wonder he pretty much broke down :( and the fact that he was slightly suspicious of something going on between Alice and Fabian is kind of cute. But also, again, I love your inclusion of other characters in this -- not just Gideon and Fabian but also Lily and the Marauders. I think it’s because I read so many Marauder fics by you that their presence seems so natural, and I loved the bit where Dumbledore went back to teacher mode for a second and said it wasn’t the Gryffindor common room, lol.
I eagerly await the next chapter :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading this chapter! Once it finally started it was great to write and is one of my favorites so thank you for featuring it, I hope people are reading it, lol! I have another story with more Gideon and Fabian and I've enjoyed writing them in both. I still don't have a solid picture of them in my mind, but there's enough. I wouldn't mind more from JKR on them. And the Marauders-my love for them knows no bounds. I could write them all day. The next chapter isn't quite as long but we'll see how it turns out soon, I hope. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)
Aaaaaah the feeeels! I am actually getting AliFrank feels! :D Yayyyyy, Gina, I am super excited to see where things go from here now Frank kissed her lolol. Sorry for not reviewing this sooner -- I've been busy with revision and stuff so haven't had much time :( And I doubt I'm going to do this fabulous story justice anyway, but just quickly -- I love how you've slowly built their romance up, from the irritation of having to work with someone you've had a disastrous date with to then Frank actually realising he fancies Alice... it's all very well done ;)
I would love to see where things go from here! Pleeeeease update asap because I have to know what will happen next -- both in respect Alice and Frank's relationship but also the mysterious potion maker! :D
Author's Response: There is a bit in an upcoming chapter that gives me feels too, although I loved writing this quick little kiss. Hee hee. So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for sticking with it! I hope you enjoy the rest! I really appreciate your reviews! ~Gina :)
Ginaaaaaaa, the suspense of this is killing me! What a great chapter :D Gahh, I'm having so many feels right now that I don't think this review will be adequate enough D: But anywayyy... great chapter! I think this was a necessary filler which gave important information about Voldy's next attack and also finally saw Frank and Alice give in to the UST between them that gave me so many feels, hehe.
Also, Moody interrupting them made me LOL so hard. :D Aaah, I love your Moody! He's so well characterised -- he sounds just like canon!moody. Well done. Great chapter, adn I can't wait for the next! :D
Author's Response: Yayayayay!! Thank you so much, Soraya! I'm thrilled you got some feels from this because every time I read that one paragraph I sort of feel it myself. *sigh* I'm having fun with Moody so good to know he's staying in character. I apologize in advance for anything I get wrong about Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens but Google street maps and view can only take me so far, lol. Thanks again for the lovely review!! Yay! ~Gina :)
Carole, I am so sorry I've fallen behind with this story! *hangs head in shame* I had exams and other RL crap going on and I totally forgot about the fabulousness that is this story. D:
BUT I am back now. And OMG. I love love love drunk!Scorpy. I'm now wondering who the mystery man is, too, and I have a couple of theories that are rather crazy haha so I won't share. :P Anyway, I'm intrigued to know about Cormac's other secrets, so I will head off to the next chapter. OH, last thing, I liked teh bit at the end with Andromeda -- I hope we get to see more of her as the story goes on.
Author's Response: OOOH, I forgot to reply! Sorry. Uhm, yes, you will see a little more of Andromeda, but not that much. She's more important in High, tbh, but is here mainly as a different side of the family for Scorpy. I like writing drunk Scorp - ha ha. Actually i like writing drunks... I wonder why.
Thank you again. ~Carole~
Can I just say, I love all the references to other stories and pairings in this? Maybe I'm reading into things too much, ha, but I could sense a hint of Daphne/Pansy at the beginning. And theeeen, of course I had to catch the Ted/Andromeda reference after having just reread it :D
But Harry was being so unfair and presumptuous! Ugh. He should have at least asked Scorpius to explain himself without assuming he was being paid off >.< And I could understand why Scorpius said what he said to Lily, even if Lily took it the wrong way. I hope they patch things up :/ I definitely think Proudfoot set Scorpy up, because it was clear he didn't like him right from the start, but then I'm now thinking that maybe he has more to do with the case than I thought... hmmm. I'll have to see. Onto the next chapter! :)
Author's Response: Oh Proudfoot, why do you hate my Scorpy so? Oh, Daphne/Pansy ... uhm, not sure that's still going on - ha ha. Sorry I took my time replying to the review; I've been very slack. thank you ~Carole~
Take that, Harry! Yay, I'm glad they patched things up and also that James clarified things with Scorpius... though I'm annoyed he hasn't given away his informant because I would sooo like to know.
And I laughed so much at Harry assuming Scorpius was going to propose to Lily. Seriously, LOL. I could understand why Harry was so awkward about it! And his relief when Scorpius said they were just earrings... fabulous. :D
I want to know mooooore about Montague now! I'm off to the next chapter -- I've got to find out why Smith's done a bunk :)
Author's Response: james can't give away his informant because that will ruin the twist. He's on my side - mwahahahahahahahhahahahahahah - Sorry, in mad holiday mode and finally catching up. Thank you so much for all your reviews. ~Carole~