A long, long time ago, I was a mod here, and yet I never posted a single fic. It is now my goal to change that!
Excellent characterization of Molly and Arthur. I love how you wrote in how the twins and Bill got their names, and Dumbledore's involvement. Very good job!
Your first four chapters are solid. Some things you might want to work on: Excessive punctuation, you tend to use lots more .s than needed; and also, perhaps you could try using more descriptive words. Sometimes it's hard to understand what's going on in a scene. (More description also makes your chapter longer, which is always a plus!) Well, I can't wait to see what you've come up with for chapter five! Have fun writing!
Just wanted to let you know that I found the mod request sentence at the top that slipped through, and deleted it for you.
Jess - MNFF Staff
Author's Response: Thank you! Apparently Cara is no longer there, so since you read and are familiar with my fic, would you miond if I sent future chaps your way? It's been days since I loaded Ch. 15, and still it's not approved. When Cara was doing it for me, she usually got things done within hours. No pressure, but if you're willing let me know. Thanks again!
Lovely, Seren! Brilliant work. I love how you described her slap as so hard that Harry thought Ron's freckles might fall off. Teeheehee.
I love it! This is very well written, I love the description you put into it. You have conveyed a great range of fitting emotions, and I've never seen Lily written so perfectly.
Author's Response: Thank you *very* much for taking the time to read, as I know you're busy with modding. I'm glad you liked it!
Nicely written; you really sucked me into the fic with the good visuals. The only thing that I noticed was that I felt Remus was just a tad too mature for his age, but then, Remus is a very intelligent person. As they say, ignorance is bliss. But again, very well done.
Author's Response: I know about that. I had the same problem with another fic for the contest. But luckily my beta says that it's okay because Remus seems mature anyway. Glad you enjoyed it.
Very, very amusing. I love it.
Put simply: Your words are pure magic. The detailed descriptions of everything are florid and not overdone in the least; you sucked me right into the scene. I can't wait to see the next chapter as you have created the ultimate setting for a so-called 'trouble in paradise' to take place.
I'm wondering exactly what went down that sent Harry packing the whole way across the Atlantic. Whatever it was, I'm sure you will describe it just as perfectly and tastefully. Keep up the brilliant work.
Author's Response: I am honored! Wow! Thank-you so much for reviewing!
I really like how you've worded things, and your plot line is delightfully unique. The only problem area I noticed was that I felt Harry was a bit OOC when he shouted at Hermione. I think, perhaps, a more fitting verb could have been used there. Can't wait to see the next chapter!
Author's Response: I am glad you liked it... I will try and change the Harry part a little. Thanks for the review!