Penname: hestiajones [Contact]
Real name: Natalie
Member Since: 06/03/09
Website:
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Member
Bio:

Body of Work


There’s something for everyone, unless you like reading Snape romances, which I don’t write. Or Voldemort’s children. Or Snape’s children. You will, however, find two Snape/Lily and one Voldemort/Minerva poems. Other than these, I’ve written:

Completed Fics:

Alternate Universe: Going against Salazar’s Grain, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best AU.

Dark/Angst: To Follow the Dark Lord, For I Am a Mother, Killing Meda’s Daughter, Him Alice and Me, Carousel, The Receding, Becoming Rita, On No One’s Side and Lacuna Mentis, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best D/A.

Draco/Astoria: Because You Came, Winner of 2011 QSQ Best Canon Romance.

Femmeslash: Cut, Bleed, Susan, Hands That Fit, Desire And a Half.

Humour: I Like a Healthy Breeze Round My Privates, Bit of a Nasty Shock. Mmm. These are exactly about what you’re thinking.

Harry/Hermione: Over a Mug of Tea, Harmony. I have delusional friends whom I love.

Historical: Waiting, An Act of Love

James/Lily: Ain’t Love the Sweetest Thing, Always Come Back to You

Maleslash: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored, Something Strange

Marauder Era: A Tale of Six Perspectives, Wish You Were Here, Common Cold Won’t Keep Me Down, Always … But Not Who You Think

Next-Gen:
Non-pairing: Sunday Lunch with the Malfoys
Scorpius/Rose: Breaking Rules, Of Weasleys And Malfoys
Scorpius/Hugo: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored
Dominique/OC: Cut, Bleed
Lucy/Lorcan: Whirlwind

Post-Hogwarts: Seamus’ Break with a Banshee, Mirrors, A Splendid Fate, and The Substitute, Winner of 2011 Best Non-Canon Romance

Ted/Andromeda: Eternal Flight, Five Christmases, Soul Sister

Crack Pairings:
Ron/Mary Cattermole: The Substitute
James/Severus: Always … But Not Who You Think

Character Studies:
Rita Skeeter: Becoming Rita
Merope Gaunt: The Receding
Florean Fortescue: Florean Fortescue - An Unsung Hero
Albus Dumbledore: Going against Salazar’s Grain
Bill Weasley: Never too Late
Andrew Carlton, OC: Being Muggle with Rooney
Tom Riddle: Commencement
Mrs Zabini: Rendezvous with Mrs Zabini, Desire And a Half
Pansy Parkinson: Carousel
Molly Weasley: Knowing Who She Was, The Solitary Prewett


Poetry:

Snape/Lily: The Silver Doe, In Winter in My Head
Tom/Minerva: Spiral
Draco/Harry: Dreams Made of Green
Remus/Tonks: it might not be, but still
Hogwarts: The Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd and The Clarion Call, Winner of 2010 QSQ Best Poetry
Lily Potter: The Gathering Storm and the Crib
Harry/Ginny: A Night of Love
Harry Potter: Memories Are Not Enough
Draco Malfoy: I Am Shame
Regulus Black: My Black Brother
Bellatrix and Narcissa: The Black Sisters
Bloody Baron/Grey Lady: Murder for Love
Hestia Jones (oh): Drive Your Car On
Draco/Hermione: The Other Woman


WIP/Abandoned:

A Marriage Made at Hogwarts: I’m afraid I won’t be continuing this. :/ I had completed it ages ago, but I lost the draft twice and I don’t have the heart or the motivation to finish it. Or delete it.
Before I Forget: A Maleslash featuring Regulus/Rabastan. I will definitely complete it next year.
One Day in the Life of: A Next-Gen fic featuring all the - well - Next-Gen kids. This too will be finished in the coming year.


Upcoming Fics:

As of now, I’m severely blocked. D: However, I am working on the following projects and both will be posted before 31st January of next year:

Songs, Lovers and Everything in Between: A string of post-Hogwarts romances featuring rarepairs.

Bill Weasley and the Temple of Lsulaph: An Alternate Universe as well as Parallel Universe crack!fic-cum-adventure featuring the most dashing Weasley to grace your consciousness along with twelve daredevil and powerful sisters. Together, they must defeat the evil sorcerer/non-Egyptian pharaoh Lsulaph, who has taken over the Incaff sisters’ kingdom.


UPDATE: If you're looking for Fireworks Inside, here's a link: http://clickysmut.livejournal.com/2930.html

That’s pretty much it. Hope you enjoy the stay!
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Reviews by hestiajones
 

Summary: Rolanda Hooch thought her first year teaching (when she had to control Bellatrix Black) would always be her worst year. But then she'd hadn't met a messy-haired Gryffindor, his equally cocksure friend, and a red-haired witch with a penchant for revenge.

Sometimes she wished she'd never taken the job at Hogwarts.

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry for the I Challenge Thee Challenge held in Fiction Junction over at the MNFF beta boards.

I accepted a challenge by Karaley Dargen which was

Write about James I. first flying lesson. It does not go well.

Thank you to Lexi (Harry Rulz) for beta'ing this fic for me.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling. If that honestly surprises you then perhaps you should check into the Priory.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2526 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/04/10 Updated: 03/04/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ahhh...Carole, I honestly enjoyed reading it. It was nice to see something of Rolanda, and James, of course, is a darling as usual.

-Short and unhelpful review, but I got a few laughs out of it. :D And well, you know how much I needed it.

More James!

Author's Response: I'm glad the long title didn't put you off *gigglesnort*. Mmm, well you know how hard I found this to write and had several stabs from James' POV before discovering Rolanda. He's a cheeky swine at times, isn't he? Thanks for the review, always appreciated ~Carole~

 

How Much a Heart Can Hold by MagEd
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 49]

Summary: The seven men who loved Hermione Granger.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 5307 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/09/10 Updated: 03/10/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/10/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow! That was such an emotional fic. I loved every single one of them. :) Sorry about this short review, but really - it actually made me tear up a bit. I am so, so happy you made such a wonderful contribution to canon. :)

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it -- and a review of any length is appreciated :)

 

Small Amounts of Welcome by OliveOil_Med
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Filius Flitwick combs his new office as he prepares to take on his new roles as Headmaster of Hogwarts. While he is there,, the Headmasters of Hogwarts Past offer him some much welcome advice.

I am OliveOil_Med of Ravenclaw, and this is my entry for the 'I Challange Thee' Contest.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2564 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/10/10 Updated: 03/15/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/19/10 Title: Chapter 1: Small Amounts of Welcome

This was an interesting one-shot, and Flitwick felt very real. Although, I am not sure that even for such a tiny man, whether a glorified broom closet would be big enough a place to be called a “comfortable” office. Wouldn’t he have to meet students there? :D



I do have a question about the portraits, though. Wouldn’t a person have to be dead in order to get that portrait? Dumbledore was kicked out twice – in COS, and then in OOTP, yet there is no mention of his portrait being hung on the wall. Mmm…we don’t get to see the office during those episodes, so we may not know. What do you think?



I was also wondering about the selection of the Headmaster. Which era is this set in? Who was the DADA teacher? What about Muggle Studies? And Professor Vector? And Potions? Even though they must have been completely new and younger ones, I still feel that you could have mentioned them at least in a line or two.



On Dexter Fortescue’s voice, did you mean to say that his voice was similar to that of Florean? How were they related? Or did you mean that his surname was now associated with ice-cream? The use of the word “voice” seems to stick out a bit.



Apart from these nitpicks, I felt that this was a good portrayal of Flitwick. He does seem the type who would be nervous about the job. And oh! I also liked how you showed his insecurities about his height. :D Good one!



~Natalie.

Author's Response: Well, as far as the portrait question goes, I left a fairly long explaination in the previous review. Please refer. And to what year the story is set in...one sec, gotta do math...August of 2010. In my version of the Potterverse, this is when McGonagall retired. And let's see...Muggle studies: too young (and haven't figured out the character yet), Professor Vector: not interesting enough to mention and probably less experience, Potions: Professor Vhartan, and still holding that job in Arcane ScoRA (all my stories (except for AU) follow the same universe). And for Fortescue, oops! I meant to say name, and I will change that right away.

 
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: Small Amounts of Welcome

Hello!



I am sorry about the late reply, but there were some things I wanted to put across.



About the portraits issue, canon evidence suggests that magical portraits exist only for dead people, so that had me confused. In HBP, when Harry and McGonagall enters Dumbledore's office, Rowling writes, "And a new portrait had joined the ranks of the dead headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts." This seems to suggest that only dead headmasters/headmistresses got their portraits there. (An issue could be raised about Severus Snape, but then he voluntarily left the post.) And, also, I am sorry but when I raised that issue in my review, I hadn't read the other reviews, and I'm sure no response had been published from the author's side.



I have no issue about when Professor McGonagall retires as long as it is before the next generation of Potters and Weasleys come to Hogwarts. And I haven't read your other fic, Arcane Scora, apart from the first chapter, so I do not know who holds the other positions in the school. Neither do I see any statement which claims that this follows an another fiction of yours. However, the earlier point I raised was this:



"Even though they must have been completely new and younger ones, I still feel that you could have mentioned them at least in a line or two."



As you were summing up a lot of members of the staff, I merely felt you could have mentioned the others briefly. In any case, I liked the story, and these are points which I am raising as a reader.



~Natalie.

Author's Response: Wow, someone up on their arguing hat today, and I'm too lazy to bother arguing back. I don't know if that means you won or what, though.

 

Summary: Lord Voldemort won the Battle of Hogwarts but victory isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe training/raising some children/minions will make him happy...

Banner by Minnabird

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1188 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
03/10/10 Updated: 03/11/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/11/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which the Dark Lord Hates Bureaucracy and Finds that Sometimes the Old is Simply More Convenient than the New

Hey there!

Haha! I laughed so hard while reading this. It's good to read something as crazy as this once in a while. :D I think my favourite part was where Voldy was reading a report on cauldron thickness. I felt so sorry for him.

There are a few glaring punctuation errors in your fic. Apart from them, this made an enjoyable read.

Waiting for updates,
Natalie.

 

How To Be Dead by MagEd
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 47]

Summary: James and Lily Potter have died, but that doesn't mean Harry is alone. They're still watching over him, and they don't intend on stopping any time soon. *one-shot*

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 3897 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/10/10 Updated: 03/11/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/11/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is the second time in two days that you’ve got me teary-eyed. : ( : )

Ah…Lily/James has been my all-time favourite OTP, and the way you’ve written this story is the exact reason why. I simply love the chemistry between them. Their reactions had me laughing and tearing up alternately. And although there were parts I would have liked to see, like Harry seeing them in the Mirror of Erised, I still think this was perfect in terms of story-telling. I did see a few typos and errors.

"And then, then, he pushed the broom just a little bit faster — the perfect amount, really, not too much or to little, and —"

It should be “too”.

"Jamie," she finally says, her voice so soft and sweet it makes him ache, "Do you think he can handle this? Can he face what's waiting for him? The pain and the danger and . . . and all of it?"

“Do” should start in the lower case.

"And it did wonders for my self-esteen," he says matter-of-factly, not fazed by the look on her face. "And it made me a more considerate lover when you did finally succumb to my charms."

Self-esteem.

“Oh, shut-up," Lily huffs. "I'm trying to —"

Why is “shut-up” hyphenated?

“Ginny is talking animately now, Harry raptly listening, and then they both start laughing.

Do you mean “animatedly”?

“And then he survives the killing curse, and hides his survival, and now he's facing Voldemort again, and this time, there is no fear or hesitance in his step or gaze or words. It's all come down to this single moment.”

I think “killing curse” should begin with caps.

All in all, another great one-shot! Keep them coming.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you for pointing out all those typos! I've fixed them. I'm glad you liked this and enjoyed the chemsitry between Lily and James -- they're one of my favourite pairings in all fandoms, so it's good to know when I do them justice :)

 

Summary: In the middle of a mountain range in eastern Australia, lies a secluded school that is very rarely seen by anyone other than the staff and students.

And then Albus Dumbledore visits.

This is jenny b of Hufflepuff writing for the Fiction Junction I Challenge Thee Challenge. My prompt was "Write a oneshot about Dumbledore taking a tour of a magic school somewhere else in the world" and set by OliveOil_Med.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3558 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/15/10 Updated: 03/15/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/15/10 Title: Chapter 1: Kurrawong Academy

Hey Jenny!

I really enjoyed reading this. Kurrawong promises to be an interesting school, although it does lack Slytherin tendencies. :D And I do wish Dumbledore had been a bit more chatty - his wisecracking self - although, he may be quieter because he's in the presence of...well, is stranger the right word for it?

Totally unhelpful review, but I loved it.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Natalie! I know the school lacks Slytherin types - originally I had four houses but didn't want them to be a copy of the Hogwarts houses. I figure the Slytherins would either go into Grattai or Kaputar, depending on the individual. And I know what you mean about Dumbledore - I think his reserved personality in this story is partly because of his fascination with the school and he's thinking deeply about it, but it's partly because I'm rubbish at writing him, really. >.> I'm so pleased you liked it, dear. :) Thanks again!

 

The Gates of Happiness by MagEd
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 44]

Summary: The seven men who loved Ginny Weasley.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6818 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/19/10 Updated: 03/22/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/23/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Thank my lucky stars I am alone at office today. You made me tear up all over again. You brilliant writer, you!



I have to make a confession, first of all: I never liked Ginny much. She seemed to jump out at me all of a sudden. But this story gives her a wonderful history, one who we seem to have missed in the books. She became more than the Ginny I knew; she became alive.



And this is why I can't choose a favourite. Each part added new dimensions to her, and I enjoyed reading them equally. And each man had their own version to offer. Three really moved me, and they were Arthur, Ron and James. I loved Harry's, too, but the other three were more emotional to me for some reason. :)



I also support what you wrote in your chapter notes. If all the Weasleys had been added, it really wouldn't have offered the kaleidoscopic portrayal of Ginny which we got in the published draft. I also feel that Dean as a choice over Michael makes more sense because Dean is closer to Ginny; they are in the same house, and he probably sees her reaction to Harry more. And, yes, Neville spent more time with Ginny and they had a lot more in common than Remus and Ginny.



I can't wait to read your other one-shots. Seriously, it's stories like this which makes me come back to fanfiction over and over again.



Thank you so much for your lovely work!



~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! This is such a great, detailed review! I'm glad you enjoyed this, esp. since you're not usually a big fan of Ginny. And I'm happy you liked the choices I made about which men to do! I really think the seven that made it to the final draft are the ones that show all opinions of Ginny and work best chronologically. And I've already started the next one :)

 

Damnable Words by talloakslady
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Everyone has a birthday, even Severus Snape.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6233 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
03/28/10 Updated: 02/06/11


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/13/10 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Hello!

I don’t know why I didn’t read this earlier. This really is an interesting, well-planned chaptered fic on Severus Snape. I am no fan of him, but I won’t deny that he is one of the most intense and intriguing characters of the fandom.

Now, what was Snape doing all those years? I have briefly wondered about this, and I’m happy someone is taking the time to show us that history. I love how you are keeping the theme of his birthday to show us the “growth” of the infamous Potions master. Each birthday, something happens to make him, and mar him as well. However, you have managed to keep him in character by keeping him from mulling over the occasion. He just doesn’t seem the type to look forward to birthdays, does he?

As I read through the three chapters, I couldn’t help but feel how spot on your characterization was. Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall – all written well without sugar-coating. You managed to show Dumbledore’s Machiavellian nature without overdoing/underdoing it; the unexpected mentioning of Lily’s names, the ignoring of Snape’s anger and accusations, the caution with which he handles the young professor, as though he were a ticking bomb – superb. The relationship between these two men is one of the more fascinating ones in the book, and you examined it really well.

I also liked how you wrote Snape from such an objective angle. There is no hero-worshipping there, no turning him into a pitiable martyr. Instead, you explored his bitterness and grief the way he would have felt them. Yes, he is very young, so how couldn’t he feel the sting of house-rivalry? Why wouldn’t he want to teach a subject that would grab the students’ attention? Why would he want to be stuck with something which no one appreciated, or cared enough about? We know Snape hadn’t been particularly popular at school in spite of his talents; it’s no wonder he would wish to get away from Potions, and do something else.

I am, however, in two minds about why, in your fic, Snape wants DADA. While it is certainly in character for him to be impatient to teach “dunderheads” a subject he excelled at as a student, and he wants to do DADA just to show he could do sparkly magic as well, I still feel that he is personally very fascinated with the subject. He tried that for years, and though I must consider that DADA could be his only other option if he wanted to switch subjects (we don’t hear of any other openings in the books), he seems to revere the subject when he finally takes it in HBP. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

Apart from that, there were a few typos – minor ones which can be easily changed. All in all, I am enjoying your fic, and eagerly waiting for the next chapter.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: I'm really sorry that my work has gone pear shaped, and I haven't the time to respond to you right now. Do know I intend to write you. I am also on LJ under talloakslady. I will write you there. I really appreciated you very considerate review. noelle

 

The Discovery by Calico
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: By their third week at Hogwarts, Fred and George already have a reputation for mischief and mayhem; the only thing standing in the way of perfect pranking is the complexity of the castle itself (not to mention a certain insufferable brother). But when the twins happen upon a piece of magical, mysterious, and ill-mannered parchment, they may end up in rather more trouble than they bargained for. How will those two wily Weasleys earn the trust and unlock the secrets of the Marauders Map?

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1629 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
04/07/10 Updated: 04/14/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/16/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Confiscated and Highly Dangerous

Hello there!

I just wanted you to know I am really excited about your story. :D You write the twins very well (George being different from Fred and all), but judging by how you have done Percy and Filch, I can guess your story is going to have excellent characterization in general.

I also love the fact that they are going to have to work to get to the password. I always wondered how they managed to figure that one out.

Eagerly waiting for updates,

Natalie.

 

BH by trinsy
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: "before Harry, before Hermione, before Hogwarts..."

Ron reflects of families lost and families formed.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2817 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/07/10 Updated: 04/14/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/15/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello!

I haven’t read many fics where authors take on the responsibility to show how deep Ron can be. He’s either saying, “Merlin’s pants!” or thinking about food or being uncomfortable. The funny thing is, Ron is like that, and such characterization must be valid, but is that all there is to this bloke? He has been through so much even though he is not really expressive about his feelings. I am usually curious about that shadowy part of him, and though your subject isn’t something I expected, I’d say you did it great justice.

I’m now wondering why I never gave this a thought before: how couldn’t Ron miss those times? I had to step back and reflect on my own life. Yes, I do feel like that at family gatherings, too. There were better times, and it is not always because someone has left or died or is absent. The innocence of the past can’t be recovered, and when new people arrive on the scene, when the original “members” of the gang become part of their own new family, the feeling of loss can’t be suppressed. It is always there. Reading your story reminded me of that, and maybe that’s why I could connect with it so much on an emotional level.

Your characterization of Ron was just right. Confusion over his own feelings, lack of clarity while talking about the same confusion – check. Dedication towards family while not being conspicuous about it – check. He was just so…Ron. The way he mused about the past, his resentment against the present, his turning to Hermione and Ginny, even the whole aura of moroseness coming off him - all of these were done nicely without being overbearing. The other characters were written well, too. I particularly liked George and Ginny.

Apart from the spot-on characterization, I think you got the Weasley family just right. That is a boisterous, yet fun and loving family, and you captured those aspects quite well.
Ron’s memory about the Christmas made me tear up. I wonder why Arthur was missing, though.

Your take on Fred’s death made me think a lot, too. The loss of Fred would be an overwhelming one, no doubt, and I can see why his absence would change the family forever. But, yes, it is not just Fred’s death that has affected it. It can’t be the answer to everything.

They weren’t part of that original nine. They weren’t part of that original dynamic that hasn’t existed in decades, and yet he thinks a part of him will always ache to recapture, even though he knows he can’t, and not just because Fred is dead.


That was, I think, one of my favourite parts about the story. The “original dynamic” has been diluted, and we can’t accuse Ron of selfishness just because he feels this. It is too true, you know what I mean? It is a loss which a lot of people struggle with.

Apart from these heavy thoughts, I also enjoyed reading the next-gen kids. :D
I do have a few nitpicks. I think it is “The Burrow”, and not “the Burrow”. I’d also write “engorgement gloves” with capital letters if they are the names of the products.

Not counting these, I have to say your story was perfect, and I seriously enjoyed reading it.

~Natalie.

 

The March by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary:

When he realises the deadly plan set before him by Dumbledore, Harry's heart goes through an incredible journey to find calm in the eye of the storm.

This sonnet won The Diamond Challenge on the Poetry Anyone forum. The prompt that inspired it was 'Loyalty'.

 

This poem was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Poem



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 100 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/13/10 Updated: 04/23/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/24/10 Title: Chapter 1: A Sonnet

Aaaargh!

I have already fangirled this at the PA, but I am back! I love this poem, the emotions it portrays, and the blunt resolution at the end. You also wrote the sonnet form rather well here. Good luck with the challenge!

~Natalie.

Author's Response:

Ooh, thank you ever so much. I agonised over the punctuation for a while before I submitted it. Using the semicolon on every second line of the stanza really made it seem less run-on-ish. I hope it actually cracks 100 reads, though, lol.

Good luck to you, too, oh e-sister of mine!

Jess

 

Summary:

Lucia Zabini thought that her sixth husband would be her last, but events unfolded that sent her to the altar once more. She was weary of the old vicious matrimonial cycle, and she had fully intended for this to be the last.

Will her new husband find the out the truth of her past, and would he believe that she truly means him no harm?

 

This is ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor of Ravenclaw, and this is my submission for the Madame Pomfrey's Character Clinic Triathlon's Minor Character Challenge. The Prompt selected was the wedding day prompt. This story was selected as the Overall Winner.

This story was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Dark/Angsty Story.



Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3946 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/23/10 Updated: 04/24/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ahhh…Mrs Zabini, one of the more mysterious and fascinating characters of the HPverse. I confess I have an unfinished one-shot of her story, something I intend to complete one fine day. But, until then, this should suffice my interest in she who is simultaneously morbid and powerful.

Like Carole, I compared Lucia to Sesen, the black widow of my HPverse. And, yes, differences are obviously there, but I do think your Lucia is scarier and more ruthless. If there is anything redeemable in her, it seem to be her love for her son, and her late-found desire to let a husband live. Well, nothing wrong with that – to each our own, I suppose. *cringes at self*

Your writing is what really made the story fascinating. Her sarcasm and indifference were done just right, and I have to say, I laughed out loud when I read this:

She watched as the light left his eyes, which still stared at her blankly. She frowned and squatted next to the corpse. With her middle and forefinger, she pulled his lids over his vacant gaze. To her annoyance, they simply sprang back open. “Drat,” she mumbled.

Yes, it is suppose to be gruesome, but just the way she said it. I could vividly picture it in my head.

My only nitpick is that I’d have loved to see why she started killing. There are hints of why she did so – her love for power and money is evident, and she seems to have distaste for men in general. But…why and how exactly?

Other than that, I think this story is a formidable tribute to Blaise’s enigmatic (and probably murderous) Mum.


~Natalie.

Author's Response:

Ah, bless you for taking the time to review, even though you are supposed to be working and writing, lol.

I think you caught on to the essence that I wanted to give her, which is cold, calculating, and rather enigmatic. She does love Blaise unconditionally, so that meant hat she has at least one thing up on old Voldie, but in a way, it makes her more diabolical. She can feel love, yet she will kill without blinking an eye. That almost makes her more scary, lol.

And as for why she she started the vicious cycle of hubby-cide (I'm sure that there's a proper term for that, which I don't know :-\ ), that is a different story for a different day. And yes, that means that there is a prequel in my mind. Unfortunately, the back story would've eclipsed the prompt for the challenge, but that doesn't mean that I can't write it later. :D

Thanks for stopping by, PowerPUFF, and as always, luv x 10.

Jess

 

The Note He Left by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary:

A note was discovered in the aftermath of Harry's capture at Malfoy Manor. It's sweet, it's romantic, it's...complete fluffy rubbish.

What will happen to this heartfelt missive? Will it find its intended recipient, or will it be lost in the wreckage of Voldemort's former occupation?



Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1813 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/25/10 Updated: 05/03/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 05/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: Dearest Ginny

AHA!

After reading Carole's and Gina's entry, I feel VINDICATED! I told you it's not fluffy because this definitely isn't the definition of FLUFF! You got the meaning of the word wrong, my friend. Either that, or you think any sort of happy romance is fluff, which, again, is an incorrect assumption.

And, oh, I loved the fic, as you already know. :P

~Natalie.

Author's Response:

I am thawing to it a bit, mostly because Draco's in it. :D

I think I'm just not used to writing stuff that is so gooey and nice. You know that, hehe. Anyways, it's getting tons of reads/reviews, so it has to have more redeeming qualities than I thought it did. Yay, I suppose, lol.

Luvvvv,

Jess

 

Acorns by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Bill Weasley is overjoyed when Fleur tells him she's pregnant. As the eldest of a large family, he can't wait to be a dad. But as the baby grows, a small seed of fear grows too. Bill is scared and he's not sure who to turn to.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. That shouldn't come as a huge surprise.

Thank you to Hannah (coolh5000) for beta'ing this fic and to Natalie (hestiajones) for letting me play with Bill for a while.

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry for Round Two (Minor Characters) of Madam Pomfrey's Character Clinic Triathlon.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2764 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/29/10 Updated: 04/29/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: Acorns

After glancing at the monstrous "review" below, I was too intimated to put in my two cents. However, I enjoyed it so much I feel I'd be doing myself an injustice if I left quietly. ;)

Ahh...I just love how you're written the characters here. Everyone feels so real, and so comfortable. I especially loved Molly and Teddy. I laughed so hard when Molly said those things about the twins, Ginny and Bill's hair.

It's so true, though. Bill being insecure about his face seems natural, although it's so good he doesn't mope about it.

Ahhh...I let Fleur have him this time. Next time...I am not letting him get away. I will use my "Kappa-grip". :P

Good luck with the challenge!

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you, Natalie. I'm glad you liked Molly; you know how much I angsted over who to use. For Montezuma's sake it was nearly Angelina!!! Thank you for talking me out of that one. ~Carole~

 

The Smell of You by MagEd
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThe more time passes, the more James falls in love with her. Told in seven scenes, this is how James and Lily became James and Lily. *one-shot*

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 7559 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/01/10 Updated: 05/02/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 05/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello!

Isn't Lily/James fascinating? There are so many ways in which they could get together.lol. I like how you used a few lines from the song (which is a personal favourite, and I wrote a Ted/Andromeda based on it as well :P) and used them to show how those two got together.

I am also really impressed by how you manage to write stories using the magical humber '7'. ;-)

However, I was wondering why you didn't put a 'Substance Abuse' warning, since it has Marlene McKinnon drinking alcohol and Lily smoking.

Thanks,
Natalie.

Author's Response: They are! I have so much fun imagining different ways for the two of them to end up together :) I'm glad you liked this and appreciated the song (you gotta love that one) and the number of scenes. For some reason, I just like writing things in seven parts! I will definitely add that warning -- thanks for pointing that out. I tend to think of that warning in terms of excess, but considering they're both underage, the warning is certainly appropriate. Thanks for the review!

 

Horatio by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Remus reflects on the real Shakespearean tragedy: survival.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1176 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/15/10 Updated: 05/16/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: The Survivor

Hello again!

I enjoyed this one, too. I confess I am not much of a Shakespeare fun to fully know what was going on with a few of the allusions, haha, but it was great reading your witty story-telling.

I have a few nitpicks:

But weirdly enough, that what my life feels like.

I think you meant "that's what my..."

And:

I didn’t turn against my friends, I wasn’t kill, I wasn’t even seriously physically injured.

"I wasn't killed."

My favourite part was when they attempted to brew the potion, lol. But, all in all, you wrote Remus well. I dunno if he would have read Shakespeare, or if Lily would, considering she joined the wizarding world at the age of eleven, but really, it was a great one-shot.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm not much good at catching nitpicky things-- but neither was the mod, lol. I am quite honored that you read this since i have enjoyed several of your stories. Thanks again!

 

To Be Forgotten by Nymphie THE Original
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: This rainy day, Severus tells his story about his and Lily's deteriorating friendship.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 309 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/16/10 Updated: 05/22/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/05/10 Title: Chapter 1: On This Rainy Day

Hello Nymphie!

I am shocked at how someone can rhyme for so many lines - I personally suck at rhymes (which is basically how I stick to free verse), but you've done this so well here.

I read this out loud, and it reads very nicely. However, there was a slight bump in the following parts:

That the others were right, and with you was where I should be.
I came to my senses rather quickly.


I think the first line is too long for the one that follows. Perhaps if you made a few alterations, for instance,

Saying that your parents had died,
I then proceeded to decide,
That the others were right, and with you was where I should be.
I came to my senses rather quickly.


Saying that your parents had died,
I then proceeded to decide
That the others were right, with you I should be;
I came to senses rather quickly.

This reduces the inconsistency in length and rhythm.

I had similar issues with the last stanza:

I wish we could be friends like old times,
And have fun instead of worry about the numerous crimes.


If you take out "the", then it would read more smoothly.

Another thing I noticed was an anomaly in the flow of thought. The last two lines of the second stanza:

I still yearn to touch your hair, red as fire,
All my attention, it seems to require.


This seems like an afterthought because Snape was mulling over their fallout in the previous lines. However, it matches perfectly with how the stanza starts; in the first two lines, he misses her eyes, and his missing her hair in the last two lines have a good interrelation. My suggestion for you would be to take the last two lines and have it beginning the stanza instead. It would then look like this:


I still yearn to touch your hair, red as fire,
All my attention, it seems to require.
Your beautiful green eyes, for which I pine to see,
The color of the old majestic evergreen tree.
But they cease to look at me, looking instead at the floor,
Because on that fateful day that my heart, in two I tore,
By calling you a name so horrid,
I broke a friendship that was torrid.

Finally, the last stanza:

I wish we could be friends like old times,
And have fun instead of worry about the numerous crimes.
Wishing never does anything, for I deserve what I have gotten,
For it hurts horribly to be forgotten.


Something seems to be missing here – something that would connect the two trains of thought. I personally feel your poem would end better with the last two lines as a couplet; it is dramatic in itself, and the whole poem has been about regret and a desire to return to old times, so ending it with his knowledge that his error cannot be undone would create a great effect. That said, the first two lines are a good summation of the entire poem, and the two contrasting thoughts also make a credible ending. Maybe, you can connect them better with a conjunction:

I wish we could be friends like old times,
And have fun instead of worry about numerous crimes.
But wishing never does anything, for I deserve what I have gotten,
For it hurts horribly to be forgotten.

The crit aside, I really liked this poem. I am no Sev/Lily shipper, but I enjoy reading canon-ish Sev/lily, as in Snape pining after Lily and pondering over his loss and mistakes. Your poem manages to portray his remorse and regret excellently; what’s more, it’s a delightful verse to read.

~Natalie.

 

Summary: Martha Macdonald is in trouble. If she doesn't pass enough O.W.L.s then her dad has decreed that she will not be coming back to Hogwarts for her N.E.W.T. years. For Martha, returning to Hogwarts is essential or her dream of playing professional Quidditch will disappear faster than the Snitch at the start of a match.

Perhaps if she'd studied instead of flying, then she wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe if her boyfriend wasn't the distracting Sirius Black, then her brains wouldn't turn to mush as soon as she bent over her textbooks.

Or, says a small voice in the back of her head, perhaps she's just stupid.

Will Martha scrape an Acceptable or will she always be a Troll?

This is Equinox Chick from Hufflepuff, and this is my entry in the Madam Pomfrey's Character Clinic Triathlon: Original Characters. Prompt # 1 - Exam Stress

Thank you to Kara (Karaley Dargen) for beta'ing this fic.

Martha Macdonald is my OC from The Lions of Gryffindor and Apparently Asleep.

Disclaimer: Sirius Black is not mine. He belongs to JK Rowling as does everything else you recognise in this story.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 2519 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/27/10 Updated: 05/27/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 05/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Say that you're surprised I loved this. ;)



It was nice to see the vulnerable side of Martha MacDonald. Pretty, good-looking, Sirius' serious grilfriend, no less, but she isn't a star student and panics during exams. The characterisation was done well without being too informative. I am familiar with her, of course, as I have read LOG. Still, I think you gave us enough background - without really going into the background. The relationship between the two was enjoyable to read. Sirius seems to genuinely care about her, and that soft side he exhibited at the end is something we don't see often in ff because, let's face it, he's either usually draped over Kylie, or is stuffing his face with chicken legs. That was harsh. But I am sure you empathize. :P Good job, Oracle Swatter, and good luck with the challenge. ~Natalie.

Author's Response: Ha ha - yes I don't think he ate anything at all in this fic. Yeah they've been seeing each other for the whole school year, so it must be serious ... ish... he is Sirius Black after all. Thank you veryt much for my first review. And now to find a fic I can start with an X ...~Oracle Swatter~

 

Seventh Year Slytherin by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Kenley Allen was about to begin her seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and she was more than ready. The summer holiday had seemed longer than usual with her mum traveling frequently and Kenley running out of things to do for amusement.


Things change, however, when she reluctantly accepts an invitation from her new step-father to join him in Diagon Alley for the day. Chance meetings and awkward conversations abound.


**beams** This story won the third round of the Character Clinic Triathalon! Category: original characters

>
**beams again** This story was nominated for 2010 Quicksilver Quill ~ Best Original Character


Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 5259 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/28/10 Updated: 05/29/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 05/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

Goodness, Lori!



This was just...it just blew my mind. Kenley felt so very real. She's a wonderfully drawn OC. Plus, you really turned the prompt around. I liked James Potter and Brian as well.



What crit can I offer? There is none. I wasn't expecting the fic to end like that - to have James coming in, and then giving the story something to mull over. It's sad that the house rivalries are still there, even after so many years.



The ending was great. Lori, seriously, I will be amazed if you don't win this thing. Good luck, anyway!



~Natalie. I

Author's Response: Aw, yay! I'm so glad you like it! I feel so out of my element here... next gen, OCs, no Ron or Hermione in sight... what is this strange place? ;) Ha! I'm glad you liked Kenley and Brian (my pretend father). House rivalries. I've thought a lot about this and, obviously, it's all speculation. I think how racism is today, though... the way it trickles down through families and groups. And not even just the prejudices (though I believe some of the Slytherins would still hold to some of those purity ideals... not most of them, i hope), but the tradition of Slytherin being the "bad" house. I think the issues that separate the houses would be way toned down (I doubt the word "mudblood" is thrown around much), but the rivalries and the attitudes would be slow to change. Anyway, Just some thoughts on that. You know how much I value your opinion, dear, and so this review makes me smile with teeth showing. Thanks!

 
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