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hestiajones [Contact]

Body of Work

There’s something for everyone, unless you like reading Snape romances, which I don’t write. Or Voldemort’s children. Or Snape’s children. You will, however, find two Snape/Lily and one Voldemort/Minerva poems. Other than these, I’ve written:

Completed Fics:

Alternate Universe: Going against Salazar’s Grain, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best AU.

Dark/Angst: To Follow the Dark Lord, For I Am a Mother, Killing Meda’s Daughter, Him Alice and Me, Carousel, The Receding, Becoming Rita, On No One’s Side and Lacuna Mentis, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best D/A.

Draco/Astoria: Because You Came, Winner of 2011 QSQ Best Canon Romance.

Femmeslash: Cut, Bleed, Susan, Hands That Fit, Desire And a Half.

Humour: I Like a Healthy Breeze Round My Privates, Bit of a Nasty Shock. Mmm. These are exactly about what you’re thinking.

Harry/Hermione: Over a Mug of Tea, Harmony. I have delusional friends whom I love.

Historical: Waiting, An Act of Love

James/Lily: Ain’t Love the Sweetest Thing, Always Come Back to You

Maleslash: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored, Something Strange

Marauder Era: A Tale of Six Perspectives, Wish You Were Here, Common Cold Won’t Keep Me Down, Always … But Not Who You Think

Non-pairing: Sunday Lunch with the Malfoys
Scorpius/Rose: Breaking Rules, Of Weasleys And Malfoys
Scorpius/Hugo: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored
Dominique/OC: Cut, Bleed
Lucy/Lorcan: Whirlwind

Post-Hogwarts: Seamus’ Break with a Banshee, Mirrors, A Splendid Fate, and The Substitute, Winner of 2011 Best Non-Canon Romance

Ted/Andromeda: Eternal Flight, Five Christmases, Soul Sister

Crack Pairings:
Ron/Mary Cattermole: The Substitute
James/Severus: Always … But Not Who You Think

Character Studies:
Rita Skeeter: Becoming Rita
Merope Gaunt: The Receding
Florean Fortescue: Florean Fortescue - An Unsung Hero
Albus Dumbledore: Going against Salazar’s Grain
Bill Weasley: Never too Late
Andrew Carlton, OC: Being Muggle with Rooney
Tom Riddle: Commencement
Mrs Zabini: Rendezvous with Mrs Zabini, Desire And a Half
Pansy Parkinson: Carousel
Molly Weasley: Knowing Who She Was, The Solitary Prewett


Snape/Lily: The Silver Doe, In Winter in My Head
Tom/Minerva: Spiral
Draco/Harry: Dreams Made of Green
Remus/Tonks: it might not be, but still
Hogwarts: The Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd and The Clarion Call, Winner of 2010 QSQ Best Poetry
Lily Potter: The Gathering Storm and the Crib
Harry/Ginny: A Night of Love
Harry Potter: Memories Are Not Enough
Draco Malfoy: I Am Shame
Regulus Black: My Black Brother
Bellatrix and Narcissa: The Black Sisters
Bloody Baron/Grey Lady: Murder for Love
Hestia Jones (oh): Drive Your Car On
Draco/Hermione: The Other Woman


A Marriage Made at Hogwarts: I’m afraid I won’t be continuing this. :/ I had completed it ages ago, but I lost the draft twice and I don’t have the heart or the motivation to finish it. Or delete it.
Before I Forget: A Maleslash featuring Regulus/Rabastan. I will definitely complete it next year.
One Day in the Life of: A Next-Gen fic featuring all the - well - Next-Gen kids. This too will be finished in the coming year.

Upcoming Fics:

As of now, I’m severely blocked. D: However, I am working on the following projects and both will be posted before 31st January of next year:

Songs, Lovers and Everything in Between: A string of post-Hogwarts romances featuring rarepairs.

Bill Weasley and the Temple of Lsulaph: An Alternate Universe as well as Parallel Universe crack!fic-cum-adventure featuring the most dashing Weasley to grace your consciousness along with twelve daredevil and powerful sisters. Together, they must defeat the evil sorcerer/non-Egyptian pharaoh Lsulaph, who has taken over the Incaff sisters’ kingdom.

UPDATE: If you're looking for Fireworks Inside, here's a link: http://clickysmut.livejournal.com/2930.html

That’s pretty much it. Hope you enjoy the stay!

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Stories by hestiajones [102]
Favorite Authors [14]
Favorite Stories [39]
hestiajones's Favorites [53]
Reviews by hestiajones

The First by The owl

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: When Poppy Pomfrey begins her career as the Hogwarts matron, the first pupil she meets is one Remus Lupin. From that first day, she knows that she will see him at least once a month, and as she might have predicted, they come to know each other quite well. However, she couldn't have predicted how their relationship would change in the long run.

This is The owl of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Valentine's Day Cotillion. My chosen pairing is Poppy Pomfrey/Remus Lupin.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Introductions


But first, "Vanishing Sickness"? Uhm. How evil are you?

I must say, excellent characterisation of Poppy so far. (Or, should I say, Pomona? :P) I can definitely see the canon Poppy in her, the one who can scold even Dumbledore and shriek at Snape. But, again, she's so young here, so of course, she'd be timid herself. You really caught that balance well.

Okay now I must continue reading. Can't wait to see how they hook up. -cackles-

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Blushes


Okay, I am having so much fun right now with this. See, what I like best is that you're taking your time with your story, letting it roll out at its own pace while providing it with enough moments to giggle at. Your characterisation of both characters is flawless, but so are the additions of magic-related things.

Reading on!

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/27/13 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Emotions


Will they or won't they? You have me on tenterhooks, O Wise Owl!

Your writing was exceptionally lovely in this chapter. There are, however, a few errors. I noticed a missing full-stop in the first chapter, and a missing closing quotation mark in this one. Also, I think it's N.E.W.Ts and O.W.Ls. But I say this with HPWikia as my source (I had to check for my fic), and haven't read the books in a while.

One last chapter! -sob-

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/27/13 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Realisations

Before the final squee, a few things first:

The mattress shifted next to him, and he he saw her getting up hastily, as if she hadn't meant him to see her there again.

“You remembered,” she smiled.”

And I think there should be a break between the first line and "Remus smiled" here:

“Oh, they all went home to sleep. You can hardly all go back to your old dormitory now.”
Remus smiled. “It's strange to think of someone else using it now. It felt very much like it was ours, more than any other part of the castle.”

Now that's done, let me say that I absolutely loved this! Yes, the kiss did happen, and yes, I'm a smutdragon, but there is a time and place for everything, isn't it? :) You wrote a lovely story keeping the characters in mind. Well done, Sophie, and good luck with the challenge!


Rumour Has It by Equinox Chick

Rated: Professors •
Summary: It’s not that Pansy really wants to marry Draco Malfoy, more that she doesn’t want to see him settled with anyone. So when she discovers he’s getting married, she decides she has to break it up.

And the best way to do this is by rumour.

This is Equinox Chick writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. The title for this story comes from an Adele song and is the inspiration for this tale.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 1: Rumour Has It

Oh. OH. HAHAHAHAHA. Okay, I need to gather myself. Omg. I am now remembering your fic about this marriage from Draco's side ha ha ha.

Right. Uhm. I enjoyed the Slytherin out of this. There's just something very irresistible about an endless battle of wits, isn't there? The best part is that I knew Pansy was going to lose, but you write her small victories so well that it makes her fall all the more devastating and hilarious to watch. I thought she was very well-characterised. And, er, between the two of us, we've made Slytherin the house of fashion. O.O Let's hope the snakes don't find this story...

Draco was as ever an utter joy to read. I couldn't wait till he finally announced his change of plans. GLORIOUS moment there! The real revelation was of course Daphne. You had me there for a while HA! Can I have her?

My only issue is that this fic is too long as a one-shot? Not that there aren't long one-shots, and it doesn't count against the fic itself; this may merely have to do with my own personal taste as a reader, mind.

Great work here! Pure comedy gold, with a lovely moment at the end. In spite of my jealously, I wish the two girls the best!

Author's Response: Woot woot. Thank youuuuuuuu (and for the beta job). I had a lot of fun writing, possibly because I knew the endgame having written the other story. Slytherins are fashionable, doncha think? But, yeah, lets not tell them :P

It's interesting you say it might work better asd a one shot. I think because I wrote it more or less in two days (I was on a deadline with cotillion) that I just got on with it and didn't think about splitting, but it is a long story, so that could well be going against it. Hmm, I shall have a think about that.

Not sure pansy and Daphne will last. It could be that as neither can trust the other then that's a fantastic basis for a relationship, but we shall see - ha ha. Do you want Daphne? Um ... No, I haven't finished with her - hee hee.

Thank you for the reviewwwwwww and everything else :D ~Carole~

Growth by teh tarik

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story

Something has changed in Merope Gaunt, a thrumming of insect wings, a pulse kickstarting to life.

Merope is alone. Penniless, undernourished and pregnant - these are the last three trimesters of her life.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/28/13 Title: Chapter 1: dull as dirt

Wow. I am completely blown away by this fic and the absolutely stunning writing. I'd quote a favourite part if I could. Well, I can't. The attention to detail, the summoning of imagery, the description of her pain, both emotional and physical, are done so masterfully I kept gasping throughout. Fantastic writing, tarik (if I can call you that)! I can't wait to read more from you.


Author's Response: aslkjdhasjk;lfhljk goodness thank you so much, Natalie :DD I am blown away by your review! So so happy that you liked the details, and the portrayal of Merope and the imagery. I was a little worried the imagery might have been a bit overdone; usually my stories are a little sparser and flatter. Thank you so much for the whole pile of amazing compliments once again! And you can just call me teh :) Or by my real name, Nicole, though I'll always sign off as teh :) Cheers! - teh

The Falcon and the Peacock by Equinox Chick

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: The year is 1543, and the heir to the Malfoy estate, Lucius, encounters the young Lady Elizabeth Tudor in the grounds of Hatfield House. It is a meeting, he later discovers, of his mother's engineering, for it is of the utmost importance that he strikes up a friendship with the King's daughter. But the Lady Elizabeth has a powerful protector in her governess, and only the highest political machinations can overcome the will of Kat Champernowne.

In the ensuing Tudor power struggle, no one factored love into the equation, least of all Elizabeth.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, but I think you know that by now.

This is Equinox Chick with her fourth entry for The Great Hall Cotillion.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/02/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 ~ Pavone Bianco

OH GODS. VERY INTRIGUED. Also, it just struck me that you haven't called me "cowbag" in a while...

Author's Response: I would never call you cowbag; it's a CALUMNY! Thank you very much for the review. ~Carole~

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/02/13 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - The Falcon's Daughter

Hmmm. Does Henry know about the Malfoys? What exactly is the position he holds in the court? I'm finding these a little unclear D: But that may be due to my ignorance about how the Tudor court - or courts of those times - worked.

I'm really enjoying this, Crolololol. I especially love Elizabeth. Her scene at the garden with Lucius reminded me strongly of Lily and Snape.

Author's Response: Hmm, perhaps I need to clarify things. Basically people at Court didn't necessarily hold a position as such (although many of them did). I meant by 'position' his standing at Court and the respect he holds and the benefits of being a rich person at that time. Henry knows the Malfoys but not that they're magic. I discovered when researching this that Henry was the first King to bring in an Anti-Witchcraft Act in 1542/ random.

Thank you for the reviewwwwww. ~Croll

Just Across the Bar by xxbabewithbrainsxx

Rated: Professors •
"It was just a dare."

It was just a kiss.

He's just a kid.

Over drinks in The Three Broomsticks, Rosmerta tries to confront her feelings about Sirius Black.

This is babewithbrains of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Cotillion.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1


I don't know why I'm saying ha! I just felt like I had to because GODDAMN that was some hot writing there :P

But, yes, don't think I only pay attention to the smut. I'm not that depraved! I thought your writing flowed very well; it was lucid and emotive. I loved the morning after part a lot.

Well, now I need to rush and find out what happens to them. Excuse me.

Author's Response: Yayayayayay, you thought it was hot! RESULT! Actually, I was so worried the smut would come across as gratuitous and/or inaccurate, lol, but I did do some, er, research before I wrote it. (I basically badgered Jamie/Acacia Carter and she told me all about the delights of bar sex... hahaha) Anyway, it means so much to me that you enjoyed that, ahem, aspect of the story :D

I'm so glad you thought my writing flowed well! One thing I also wasn't too sure about was if it worked in rather uneven sections. I'm glad you thought it was lucid and emotive -- yeah, Rosmerta was drunk, but she wasn't *that* drunk, and I think she knew that the morning after. And yayyy, you liked that bit! :) Thank you so much for the review, my dear Natalie. *squish* It means a lot!

Soraya xxx

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

YES! Yes, they needed to have s- I mean, get back together again hehehe. How did you manage to slip in all the angst in such a hot moment? You witch you!

No, seriously, I enjoyed this. This Rosmerta is different from Gina's which I read last night, but I love both versions. I want her and Sirius to get together, even though I know it's not going to happen. -sigh-

There was a part where you said "James and me have fought". I don't know if that was an error or if you wrote "me" in place of "I" deliberately. Apart from that, no hiccups. Lovely writing, Soraya!

Author's Response: LULZ. Well, they do have sex. Hours of it, in fact... *snigger*

But again, thank you so much for the compliments! (Didn't anyone tell you that I AM a witch -- just one with a .38 beta pistol? :D) Yeah, I read Gina's Remus/Rosmerta and agree that this one is very different from hers. It means a lot to me that you love both versions :3 Sirius and Rosmerta do kind of get together, at least sporadically while he's in the Order. It's just that he then goes to Azkaban, poor dear. :(

Ummm, I did kind of put that there to make Sirius sound more colloquial, but I'm not quite sure it came off properly :/ I may go and revisit that. Thank you!

I am honestly gobsmacked at how much you, Carole and Gina have enjoyed this :D I didn't think it was very good, hehe, but your reviews have made me think otherwise now. I really appreciate your reviews, my love, and I will definitely be reading your Dominique/OC once the Cotillion's over -- just let me finish my two stories due in tomorrow first, lol. I heart youuuuuuu!

Soraya xxx

Finally by Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Frank Longbottom is trying to propose to his partner and girlfriend, Alice Hamilton, but his attempts at romance are constantly being interrupted. If he ever manages to give her the ring, will she say yes?
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Cotillion 2013.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 1: Part One - Will He?

Oh no.

HAHAHAHAHA. I died when Rosmerta kept butting in lmao. Oh dear. Sorry, I am just giggling at all the lost opportunities. Although, if they're almost living together, why has Frank not thought of asking after a nice session of ... er... tea?


I'm sure you have reasons for that. :) Okay, I am adoring this fic so far. We always read so many sad stories about the Longbottoms it's almost bizarre seeing them this happy, this untainted. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: I know, right - the stories about Frank and Alice are always sad, always after their torture. But they had to have been strong, vibrant people to have been respsected Aurors and in the Order. I am really enjoying writing about them. They might be the closest to OCs I've come, since there is very little to base them on. So I'm glad you enjoyed reading about them. Of course I have my reasons for him not proposing after "tea." I had a very clear vision of his actually proposal that I had to write up to, hence all the interruptions. Thank you so much for reading this, I'm glad you enjoyed it and giggled! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/26/13 Title: Chapter 2: Part Two - Won't She?

Oh! THIS WAS THE BEST! Now, I am glad Frank didn't do it after that ... er... tea session. I really enjoyed this, Gina. I think you have given the two characters a lot of lovely moments in the fic, and it was a pleasure to see the Order in action, and Sirius being himself, of course!

Author's Response: See, always a reason. For some reason, I had this very clear picture of Frank impulsively proposing at an Order meeting and standing up to Moody to do it, lol. And it gave me a chance to include the Marauders so yay! Thanks so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)

A Feckload of Regrets by Equinox Chick

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Sometimes Seamus Finnigan felt his life was feckload of regrets. Some were small regrets, like lending Nev his quill when he knew he'd lose it. But some were bigger, like believing his mam over Harry ... or encouraging Dean to go for it with Ginny Weasley.

But as long as no one saw his regrets, he could bury them under a smile and pretend they'd never happened.

Couldn't he?

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling.

This is Equinox Chick and this is my fifth entry into the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge thingy.

Thank you, Natalie, (hestiajones) for an on the hoof beta job.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/28/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1


Well, I don't have a you-know-what, but yeah, Krum's vand is my thing.

Author's Response: Vere is your vand?

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/28/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1


I enjoyed this, Croll. See, I knew the pairing and had a faint idea of how they might get together but the journey was unexpectedly refreshing. You were a bit troubled by the out-of-control flow of your narrative. I'd say put that worry to rest. It swept me along like a storm. A very Irish, funny, blunt, Finniganish storm.

Yeah, glad it wasn't Finnegan or I'd have had to bodily uproot you from Great Britain and carry you off to the Lake Isle of Innisfree.

Okay I went a bit mad there, but I LOVED THIS.



Uproot me, woman, I want to go to Innisfree and watch my honeybees.

Thank you so much for the review. I'm so pleased you liked it because it did rather get away from me. Yeah, a Finniganish storm!

Thanks again ~Carole~

Lovely Rita by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: 'I know things about Ludo Bagman that would make your hair curl.' Rita Skeeter had told Hermione. But what did she know?

This is Equinox Chick writing her last entry for the Cotillion.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, but Rita's remark has always intrigued me.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/01/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I'm finding this sexy. I think I need help.

Author's Response: Black. Lace-Up. Shoes.

Shangri-La by the opaleye

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: The first time she sees him, he is leaning against the brick wall outside Tesco, paper in one hand, cigarette in the other.

A familiar stranger walks into Petunia Dursley's life.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/09/13 Title: Chapter 1: life ain't so happy in your shangri-la

"Because they don’t exist if she pretends hard enough."

this sums up Petunia accurately.

Gods in Valhalla, this fic is simply dreamlike and unapologetically realistic at the same time. and remus! your petunia is so well done that i'm not going to comment on it (haha... ... ...) but the Remus is so chillingly Remus. Serious. Soft. Quiet. Subtle, and yet "deal with it".

the writing is perfection as usual.


Author's Response: Thank you, my love! I loved writing Remus, especially from Petunia's perspective. They're both very interesting characters to explore, particularly together in the same fic. Thanks for the review! xoxo

The Girl In Madam Malkin's by the opaleye

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A man walks into Madam Malkin's and hands over some torn robes that need to be fixed.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/09/13 Title: Chapter 1: The Girl In Madam Malkin's

aarrgh! just kill me, why don't you? this was one of my favs in the swap! i just love - though "love" doesn't quite seem like the right word - how the urgency of Amos' despair and needs are dismissed in such a business like manner. it goes to show how cruel life and living can get. :S the form was also a very fitting choice for the theme, or how you chose to portray the theme. nothing "flowery". nothing embellished. only bare, blunt and daunting.

Author's Response: I can't kill you because then I won't get anymore reviews from you. Hiss! But thank you!!! I must admit it's daunting writing free-form poetry when I've been subjected to your gorgeousness for so long. Amos has always been one of those minor characters that manage to move me just as much as one of the main characters in the series. His loss is just so palpable in both the books and the films. I wouldn't say it was a pleasure to explore that, but it was very much a challenging and interesting experience. xoxo

Under My Skin by Equinox Chick

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: Christmas is a time for couples to be together. But for Zacharias Smith and Cormac McLaggen, their time together ran out long before festive season had begun. It would take a miracle to get them back together. Or maybe a Fairy Godmother in the unlikely form of Romilda Vane.

Under My Skin is a sequel to Truth or Dare, but it won't be necessary to read that to understand this. But it did win a QSQ, and is one of my favourites. I dedicate this story to hestiajones because I know she loves a bit of ZacMac. Merry Christmas, Natalieeeeee.

I am Equinox Chick and this is my entry for Prompt 3 - Unexpected Guests - in the Let The Yule Tide Roll Challenge.

I am not JK Rowling, or Cole Porter.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 12/18/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Stormy Weather

StayFocused can't c;#kblock me on the phone, bro. -cackles- I enjoyed this immensely and MY BODY IS READY FOR MORE.

'awards-stroke-ball' yeah, yeah, yeah.

Author's Response: It's taken me so long to reply I thought you were awarding me a 'stroke ball' and wondered just how far our relationship had progressed ... -snigger- .

I hope you enjoyed the rest of it and ... oh, yeah, you did. Hamish says 'Yo, wassup, bro!'

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Serenade by Equinox Chick

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Despite his initial qualms, Terry Boot allowed his friends to talk him into attending a masquerade party. The idea was to get to get to know someone without any preconceptions.

Which was all well and good, but the trouble was, Terry recognised one witch in the room immediately. And knowing what he did, she was someone he should not only avoid, but run screaming from.

But some devil takes hold, and soon he's buying her champagne.

This is Equinox Chick and this is my entry into the 2014 Great Hall Cotillion.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling. She displayed a particular dislike for my female protagonist, whereas I quite like her now.

A song by Dire Straits was the inspiration for much of this story. I am not Mark Knopfler, either.

Finally, I've written this story for Natalie (hestiajones) because of her Boot fetish. ♥ you.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/19/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Masks

I am sorry but my excitement at seeing Golumpierre's name has overwhelmed everything else.

Author's Response: Hahahahah - I HAD to include him in a story. My fanfiction life wouldn;t have been complete without him. Thank youuuu ~Carole

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/19/14 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 ~ Minutiae

voulez vous coucher avec moi?

Author's Response: Ce soir? Um, maybe .... ;D