MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
hestiajones [Contact]

Body of Work

There’s something for everyone, unless you like reading Snape romances, which I don’t write. Or Voldemort’s children. Or Snape’s children. You will, however, find two Snape/Lily and one Voldemort/Minerva poems. Other than these, I’ve written:

Completed Fics:

Alternate Universe: Going against Salazar’s Grain, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best AU.

Dark/Angst: To Follow the Dark Lord, For I Am a Mother, Killing Meda’s Daughter, Him Alice and Me, Carousel, The Receding, Becoming Rita, On No One’s Side and Lacuna Mentis, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best D/A.

Draco/Astoria: Because You Came, Winner of 2011 QSQ Best Canon Romance.

Femmeslash: Cut, Bleed, Susan, Hands That Fit, Desire And a Half.

Humour: I Like a Healthy Breeze Round My Privates, Bit of a Nasty Shock. Mmm. These are exactly about what you’re thinking.

Harry/Hermione: Over a Mug of Tea, Harmony. I have delusional friends whom I love.

Historical: Waiting, An Act of Love

James/Lily: Ain’t Love the Sweetest Thing, Always Come Back to You

Maleslash: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored, Something Strange

Marauder Era: A Tale of Six Perspectives, Wish You Were Here, Common Cold Won’t Keep Me Down, Always … But Not Who You Think

Non-pairing: Sunday Lunch with the Malfoys
Scorpius/Rose: Breaking Rules, Of Weasleys And Malfoys
Scorpius/Hugo: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored
Dominique/OC: Cut, Bleed
Lucy/Lorcan: Whirlwind

Post-Hogwarts: Seamus’ Break with a Banshee, Mirrors, A Splendid Fate, and The Substitute, Winner of 2011 Best Non-Canon Romance

Ted/Andromeda: Eternal Flight, Five Christmases, Soul Sister

Crack Pairings:
Ron/Mary Cattermole: The Substitute
James/Severus: Always … But Not Who You Think

Character Studies:
Rita Skeeter: Becoming Rita
Merope Gaunt: The Receding
Florean Fortescue: Florean Fortescue - An Unsung Hero
Albus Dumbledore: Going against Salazar’s Grain
Bill Weasley: Never too Late
Andrew Carlton, OC: Being Muggle with Rooney
Tom Riddle: Commencement
Mrs Zabini: Rendezvous with Mrs Zabini, Desire And a Half
Pansy Parkinson: Carousel
Molly Weasley: Knowing Who She Was, The Solitary Prewett


Snape/Lily: The Silver Doe, In Winter in My Head
Tom/Minerva: Spiral
Draco/Harry: Dreams Made of Green
Remus/Tonks: it might not be, but still
Hogwarts: The Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd and The Clarion Call, Winner of 2010 QSQ Best Poetry
Lily Potter: The Gathering Storm and the Crib
Harry/Ginny: A Night of Love
Harry Potter: Memories Are Not Enough
Draco Malfoy: I Am Shame
Regulus Black: My Black Brother
Bellatrix and Narcissa: The Black Sisters
Bloody Baron/Grey Lady: Murder for Love
Hestia Jones (oh): Drive Your Car On
Draco/Hermione: The Other Woman


A Marriage Made at Hogwarts: I’m afraid I won’t be continuing this. :/ I had completed it ages ago, but I lost the draft twice and I don’t have the heart or the motivation to finish it. Or delete it.
Before I Forget: A Maleslash featuring Regulus/Rabastan. I will definitely complete it next year.
One Day in the Life of: A Next-Gen fic featuring all the - well - Next-Gen kids. This too will be finished in the coming year.

Upcoming Fics:

As of now, I’m severely blocked. D: However, I am working on the following projects and both will be posted before 31st January of next year:

Songs, Lovers and Everything in Between: A string of post-Hogwarts romances featuring rarepairs.

Bill Weasley and the Temple of Lsulaph: An Alternate Universe as well as Parallel Universe crack!fic-cum-adventure featuring the most dashing Weasley to grace your consciousness along with twelve daredevil and powerful sisters. Together, they must defeat the evil sorcerer/non-Egyptian pharaoh Lsulaph, who has taken over the Incaff sisters’ kingdom.

UPDATE: If you're looking for Fireworks Inside, here's a link: http://clickysmut.livejournal.com/2930.html

That’s pretty much it. Hope you enjoy the stay!

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Stories by hestiajones [102]
Favorite Authors [14]
Favorite Stories [39]
hestiajones's Favorites [53]
Reviews by hestiajones

Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets by Equinox Chick, Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 12 Reviews
Summary: Humiliated in front of the entire school by the purple-faced Pomona Sprout, Gilderoy Lockhart plots a grand revenge. His weapon of choice - a goblet full to the brim with steaming cocoa.

But has he underestimated the redoubtable Head of Hufflepuff House?

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw and Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 2 - Don't You Dare Prank Me!.

Disclaimer: We are not JK Rowling. If we had been, then there'd be far more stories about the Marauders in print.

This story is dedicated to our flist - especially the lovely Natalie (hestiajones). Enjoy!

Thanks for the on-the-hoof beta job, hestiajones.

Giddling madly, our story has been nominated for a 2011 QSQ for 'Best Darn Story Ever On The Archives' - okay, I mean Best HumoUr.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: My Kingdom for a Broomstick

Sorry for the second review, but I'd forgotten to add that I love your title (and I got the reference to Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels).

Author's Response: We lubs the title, too.

Ready by Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 22 Reviews
Summary: Ron decides to leave the Ministry, and the reasons catch Hermione by surprise.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot


First thing, I never "awww" in the review, but this is just too freaking cute dammit. I love reading Romione banter in general, and this was done so beautifully, Gina. I can't even decide whom I liked more - Ron or Hermione. Both of them were equally well-written and so much in character. This really was an amazing thing to write as a present for Lori, and an amazing fic for us to enjoy. Great dialogue- you pwn all of us there.


Author's Response: Natalie! Thanks so much for stopping by to read this. I'm glad you liked it so much. I'm thrilled it was in character - I'd hate for all my couples to start sounding like J/L so that makes me feel good that I can still do dialogue but with a completely different couple and their quirky dynamics. It was fun. Thanks for the amazing review! ~Gina :)

In The Stars by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 12 Reviews
Summary: A year after divorcing the impossible Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass is preparing for her perfect wedding to the perfect Roger Davies. The only possible thing that could mar her day is the need to accommodate a journalist and a photographer from The Prophet

Then her sister turns up with her ex in tow, and Astoria realises her day is not going to be quite so 'yar' after all.

This story has been written for Lori (Weasley Mom) who is a big fan of the film The Philadelphia Story.This story has been inspired by that film. If you haven't seen the film, then you should because it's a classic.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, Philip Barry or Katherine Hepburn.

Thank you, Natalie, for the beta work.

** - indicates a line from the film High Society.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: What a Swell Party this is

D'awwww. So cute. :)

Author's Response: yeah, fricking awesome.

Mirrors by Equinox Chick

Rated: Professors • 21 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: It's 2012 and for Charlie Weasley, life in Romania with his dragons is good. Okay, his mum doesn't stop nagging him about his love-life, but at least she's not attacking his hair with scissors. The only cloud is the Ministry of Magic's threat to slash their funding. What Charlie needs to do is charm the visiting Ministry official. Unfortunately, he hadn't expected it to be his brother's prim ex-girlfriend.

Will she slash his budget? Or can he make her change her mind?

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry in the April Fool's Challenge ~ Prompt #3 Next Gen.

A huge thank you to Sarah (SapphireatDawn) for beta'ing this at record speed.

Inspiration for this pairing came from Julia - she features in the fic ... sort of ...

Disclaimer: You must know by now that I'm not JK Rowling.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: Bean Counting

Ohhh! I loved this. Now you will have to write more about them. I want to know if they ended together. I want to know if they had babies! I want to know MORE!

I rather liked Penelope. :D You wrote her the way I imagined her to be. Reserved, talented, strict and unyielding, but you really turned her around nicely in the end.

*sigh* I think I'm beginning to have a liking in Charlie. NoooOooOOo...BILL BILL BILL!

Sorry for the rambly, squee-y review, but lovely story, Carole. I believe I have a new ship to sail now. Lol.

Author's Response: Well, if Penelope can go out with two brothers ...

Thank you so much for the review and enjoying the *ahem*. Babies? Um, not sure. More sex, yes! Ha ha.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: Bean Counting


This is chaptered! I was hoping to get down to some P-rated smut dammit.

Excellent start, Carole! I am loving the reference to AA. Penelope is rather interesting, and I can't wait to see how you'll bring her around. ;)

Can't wait for the update (and sorry for the squeey review.)


Author's Response: I'll let you into a secret. I love squeeeeing - especially from you - ha ha. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ~Carole~

Flying High by Equinox Chick

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 5 Reviews
Summary: What happens when Scorpius Malfoy takes on Lily Potter in the air?

Based on my fic 'High', this sonnet was originally written for The Diamond Challenge in Poetry, Anyone? over at the MNFF beta boards.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/26/11 Title: Chapter 1: Flying High

"What happens when Scorpius Malfoy takes on Lily Potter in the air? "

He asks her if her cousin Hugo is single.

Now that that's been sorted out, let me talk about the poem. It's so much fun! I like how each quatrain focuses on a character, and let us know what each player is doing. For a fun, fast-paced fic like High, I feel that this poem has the right tone and mood.

Nicely done, Croll! I enjoyed reading it a lot.


Author's Response: He asks her if her cousin Hugo is single. ... because he happens to know that Heloise is looking for a date ... heh heh heh. Thank you for the review and glad you were able to relate it to High. I enjoyed writing this very much. ~Carole~

Hangman by littlebird

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 18 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: On the morning of Hermione’s 18th birthday, Ron hunts as Harry gathers. One boy is successful, while the other is not. At the end of an hour, who is to blame?


This story has been nominated for the 2012 Quick Silver Quills: Best Dark/ Angst Fic

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 04/07/12 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Hello Susan!

After I read 2/3, I swore to myself I'd read more of your work, and although it took me a few months to fulfill my self-oath, here I am.

I think what I really admire the most about your writing is your undiluted attention to detail. A huge part of the fic is a bombardment of images and imagery, continuously piling on top of each other, and even with the relative sparseness of dialogue, so much is spoken.

To me, the camping sections always seem longer than they actually are because they are so filled with frustration and tension. Ron's problems and his way of expressing them add to the gloom and claustrophobia of it all. This fic captures that mood so very well, and in so few words too. From his point of view, things do seem suspicious, even though Hermione might just be worried for Harry, and Harry is just trying to make up for things.

Nicely done, Susan! I shall go and devour a few more of your fics. :D

Author's Response: Hi Natalie! First, thank you very much for stopping by to have a read. As always, your comments are appreciated, but I didn't want to respond through a brain fog of decongestants and weird pregnancy hormones, so it's taken a couple of weeks. I see you've spotted my Achilles heel (of sorts): Dialogue. I don't care much about crafting interesting banter or letting characters express themselves vocally to one another. I don't so much want them to tell you how they feel. I want them to see and touch and hear and I want them to internalize the stimuli of that moment so that the reader internalizes it, as well. That's why the full-on imagery assault. When the moment is short, the more relevant details I can cram in, the better. I know I'm in the minority on this, but I loved the camping sections in DH. I loved the tension. I wanted more. More hurt, more pain. Give me Ron and his jealousy and insecurities and his love-sick heart over Ron well-adjusted and happy any day. Again, thank you so much for reading and for the review! ~Susan

The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 21 Reviews
Summary: Staring out of her dusty office window, Parvati Patil - now running a detective agency with Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas - is surprised when the glamorous Karis Flint arrives. Why would a rich society woman hire such an inexperienced firm? But when Karis explains that the Cordalis Diamonds have gone missing, along with her son, they know they have to take the case. For Karis' son is Blaise Zabini, the Slytherin from their year currently involved with Lavender Brown.

With Jonah Flint threatening to call in the Law Enforcers, can they find Blaise and the diamonds before the day is out?

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry into the Great Hall Mysterious May Challenge - Prompt #3 - The Private Detective.

I am not JK Rowling, whoever told you that defamed her dreadfully.

Thank you Hannah/Bob (coolh5000) for beta'ing this story.

All chapter titles are songs from Elvis Costello. I'm not him either.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 08/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Watching the Detectives

I was halfway right, dammit! I had my bets on Tracey when Tabitha started her reality-TV performance. Although, of course, it made sense why she should cover for her father, that lecherous man.

First thing I want to comment about is your Slytherins. They are so, so Slytherin. Blaise, Tracey, Draco ... wow. Even the stupid Flints. God, what a family. No wonder both Tracey and Draco wanted out. (Though, really Jonah must be great in bed cause I can see very few reasons why Karis would want to hang on to him.) But, oh well, it's Karis. Jonah seems to love her, he has status - he's quite suitable. I am rambling, but great job on the characterisation. From their shifting tactics to that little touch about Flint’s silver being suspect (wink), the house of snakes was well-represented in this fic. And I mean this in a good way, so get off my back, Bob and Julia (if either of you are reading it.) Apart from the pride and cunning, they have a sense of loyalty to their own which redeems them sometimes.

I loved the trio as well. Hehehe. I do enjoy reading Dean and Thomas, and a bright Parvati lightens up my day. Not many fics explore her character, sadly. Speaking of that, I thought the twist with the colour blindess was very clever!

While reading the fic, I noticed one thing - the claustrophobia. I don't know if it was intentional from your side, but the tension of the mystery was well-captured in the suffocating atmosphere of the Flints' house, and the various twists and turns which kept tumbling one after another within it.

The ending was great! It is odd to imagine Blaise being chums with Dean and Seamus, but in this universe, it is plausible. It’s just the way you write them. I will, however, let you know you have displeased me greatly by cheating of the mnage-a-trois the story seemed to be leading me to. How deceptive! How cruel!

Then again, that might just be greedy me. *snort*

I enjoyed it so much, Crolllll. Good luck for the challenge!


Author's Response: I think the thing about Blaise is that we're not given a concrete reason for Harry et al disliking him except because he's a Slytherin. Yes, he makes that remark about not touching a 'blood traitor' but it's fairly obvious he's said something about how attractive Ginny is, plus Draco is top dog in that scene so he's not going to say something nice about them there Weasles. Okay, Blaise apologist out the way, I'm not sure they'll ever be true mates, but there's enough similarities (liking beer, curry and laughing at Draco) for the lads to be able to get along - LOL. Wow, this response is all about Blaise ... eeep.

I'm glad you liked the story and the mystery. The feeling of claustrophobia wasn't really intentional, but the repressive nature of the Slyths and unwillingness to let slip the social masks was, so I guess that's why the closed in atmosphere came through. Plus that damn muse ... I mean Kappa ... was ever present - hee hee hee.

Sorry about the lack of smut. I will write that some day, but this needed to be the mystery with just a hint of something more. Thank youuuuuuu for the review and all your help. Love you immmmmmenswly!!!!!!!!!! ~Croll~

Raindrops by Gmariam

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 248 Reviews

He returned with a quiet sadness and a surprising new responsibility to keep him focused. She returned with a misplaced bitterness and the matching position that forced them to work with one another. Yet fear, resentment, and stubborn arrogance kept pushing them apart, even when they were meant to be together.
Winner, Quicksilver Quill for Best Canon Romance. Thank you!!

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 10/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One


Author's Response: Yes. :) I don't even remember what this was for, but thanks, HJ! Hope you like the rest! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/28/11 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen


Author's Response: DEAR HJ YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT. Now put away that Snames and enjoy the ride. *hugs*

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/08/11 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter Fourteen


The Web We Weave by Black_Beret

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 4 Reviews
Summary: Fred Weasley, a young man now, is nothing like his father, George Weasley. Indeed, he has his grandfather's interest in Muggles and his Uncle Percy's serious attitude towards life, but from his father, he had nothing but the crooked grin.

Fred, who works undercover in the Muggle world as the lawyer Derek Sharp and defends his own kind in the Muggle system, has no interest in his family or the life he used to lead. His tragic past, however, refuses to leave him alone, as does a certain Muggle in a yellow raincoat. All too soon, his two worlds become hopelessly intertwined in a tangled mess, leaving him with two options- leave the Muggle world, his job, and the stangest woman he has ever met, or turn his back on the wizarding world, and it's laws, and throw it all to the wind.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 07/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Girl in the Yellow Raincoat


I have to say that it was a very intriguing first chapter. Your writing is whimsical, and I love whimsical writing, so I was bound to get pulled in. But other than that, I think you have an original plot on your hands, and I'm seriously excited to see where it goes.

I caught an error, but that has been mentioned by the reviewer below me. I also noticed a few punctuation issues - missing apostrophe, dialogue punctuation errors - minor things which you could correct with a swift read.

Nitpicks aside, this is one of the most gripping story to have come out lately, and I plan to follow it.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review! Punctuation has never been my strong point (which is a direct result of reading books published in a myriad of countries and refuse to use consistant punctuation:)) However, I will try to be more careful in the future. I am glad you are enjoying it! The next chapter will be up soon (hopefully).

Inch of Dust by the opaleye

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 18 Reviews
Summary: When George thinks of her, he thinks of Fred.

So, he tries not to think at all.

Nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award in Best Dark/Angsty, Best Canon Romance, and Best Post Hogwarts.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 07/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Inch of Dust.

After having gone through the scintillating reviews, all I have to say is WHAT DID I TELL YOU? :P

This was just utterly beautiful and poignant and intense and sexy and a million other adjectives, my dear elf. Just ... very, very elvish! I hope you'll now expand the other drabbles and fill up your author page - the world needs it. Badly.

Ever yours,


Author's Response: Lafonna is always right.

I should remember that. Hehehe. Anyway, in all seriousness, thank you so much. It's because of you that I didn't throw this in the not-working-therefore-can't-be-bothered-to-finish file. *huggles*

Greenleaf x

Monochrome by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 9 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: Remus Lupin is an outsider by the very nature of his condition. But whilst his friends dream in colour, his nights are monochrome. It doesn't disturb him much, it's just the way he is.

Then a late night conversation changes his mindset in a way that scares him and makes him wonder what he actually 'is'. He cannot feel that way - not about Sirius Black.

OMM&P This jointly won BEST SSP QSQ at the 2011 awards. Thank you. And yay for Ariana who wrote Two to Tango - the other winner.

I am not JK Rowling, in fact I'm not even sure I'm Equinox Chick at this moment ...

This story is for Gina (Gmariam) who is celebrating her 21st birthday. :) It is a measure of how much I adore her that I'm writing this pairing for her.

Thank you very much, Kara (Karaley Dargen) for beta'ing this story for me.

Thanks also for teh flist for sticking by me when I was haranguing them. I owe you.

Due to an MNFF glitch, I have lowered the rating on this to 3rd-5th so people can read it. However this is normally a Professors rating. You click at your own risk.

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 07/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: Dreams

GAHHHHH. A multitude of emotions, Croll. :( :) :( :) :'( :')

You see what this did to me?

First thing I noticed is that your writing here is so different from your usual style! It's so much more poetic, and the opening paragraphs were an absolute delight to read. I particularly loved the comparison of their dreams using colours. I am afraid it has become canon for me, like most things that are caron.

Plot-wise, what can I say? It carried me through good times and bad times and fun times and sexy times and heartbreaking times. One minute, I was snorting with laughter, and another, yelling with rage. It definitely was a beautiful experience.

Even in such a compact story, you managed to portray their dynamics so well. Though "slash-ed" up, they don't lose their identities, and I marvel at how suavely you brought the story back to canon events. I squee-ed when Tonks came.

And the ending was perfect! Gina is a lucky, lucky girl to get this. One of the most intense fics I've ever read.


Author's Response: Thank you very much for a lovely review. I admit I did know this was 'different' from so much of my other stuff and I'm beyone pleased that you think it's poetic. Would it surprise you to learn that the whole inspiration for this fic was the first line. I was lying in bed trying to sleep and the words 'Remus dreams in monochrome' just appeared, which was why I was so reluctant to give up on the title - despite it being used by a 'Snily' writer - ha ha.

Sorry you were yelling with rage. I was very sad at one point in the story because I'd half convinced myself that they needed a happy ending - which they sort of had- but not the one they perhaps deserved.

I squeed when Tonks appeared as well, but if anyone could make his life colourful, it would be her. I'm not burning with rage because JKT killed them all. That bloody rat!

Thanks again ~ Carole~

Mum by hogwartsbookworm

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 27 Reviews

There's something Lily's been waiting to hear since Harry said his first word.

Written in anticipation for Deathly Hallows, part two.

Nominated for the 2011 Best Dark/Angsty QSQ. Thank you, Maple!

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 08/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot


Carole told us this was a great fic, so I came to read it. Guess what? I have tears in my eyes. I generally don't enjoy second-person POV, but when I was reading this, it didn't bother me at all. You picked the right moments and you wrote them so beautifully, making the whole fic immensely emotional and heart-breaking. I loved the competition between Lily and James! Overall, a perfect story. Keep writing!


Author's Response: Wow, thanks, Nat! I know second person isn't a very popular POV, but I'm glad you were able to enjoy the fic anyway. Thank you for the review!

Her Tomorrows by Equinox Chick

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 7 Reviews
Summary: Since the Battle, Parvati struggles to feel.

Since the Battle, Harry feels too much.

Can a chance meeting help them heal?

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, so don't bug me about Pottermore!

This story is for Ariana (lucca4) because she set the prompt in SBBC and she's one of the most talented writers on the site.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Her Tomorrows

WOWOWOW! *drools* This is amazing writing, Crollllll!

*takes a deep breath*

It's interesting the two of us decided to kill off both Patil sisters between us lol. I have to say, your characterisation of the two was done really well. Padma was there for like a hundred words, but even there, the difference between them was so clearly marked. I felt really bad for Parvati, and damn those Claws! I know they miss their friend and all but c'mon, give her a break. >.>

Poor Harry. :( Unable to fit in. (Also, I feel the fact that he couldn't connect with Hermione here was a good move.) It tickles me that he sullied the Privet Drive garden with his lust LOL. What a great payback!

And the shagging. *drools again* How utterly beautiful. I am shaking my head at that clickysmut discussion we had that one time. >.> I TOLD you your smut is fabulous.

Damn. Now I want to write mine.

Great one-shot, Croll! Keep writing! (lol)


Author's Response: Thank you! Yay, I didn't expect this to be a review from you - not sure why. Anyway, yes, we seem to like killing Patils, don;t we? What is it about them? Possibly the mix of recklessness and intelligence, plus we never really see them together except at the Yule Ball.

I tailored this for 6th-7th so not quite clickysmut worthy, yet, but you've reminded me I must get started on that ... Thanks again. Much appreciated. ~Carole~

Storm and Stress by Merlynne

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 12 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: Meleia Varias, a fourth year student at Durmstrang Institute knows that reason often has little to do with anything in life, and justice is an abstract concept. Under Headmaster Karkaroff’s watchful eye, Meleia explores the frightening implications of her past as she works to un-fog the future in a world that refuses to be made sense of.
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/18/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Littlest One

Wow. First off, I love vampires. Or rather, I used to until recent pop culture turned them i nto something ridiculous. This is exactly how I love them, though, and I'm kicking myself for not reading it sooner.

The thing is, it is incredibly hard to get into OC-based stories. Most of them are either undercooked or overdone. But with yours, I was easily able to get over my skepticism. The key reason is your narrative style. It doesn't overload me with information right away, and yet it tells me enough to get hooked to the characters and their story. I love how you keep everything unwritten but obvious: we don't see Mr Varias turning into a vampire. or Maria being sacrificed. But we still know they are events that have happened, and we cannot but feel horror and disgust at them.

I also find the pragmatism of Mrs Varias and Lotaria fascinating. Of course, the mother does it purely out of necessity, while the daughter looks at it as only a flippant child can. I don't know how this story is going to pan out, but I hope to see more of them in the later chapters, and how Maria's leaving affect them in a larger context.

This is a captivating story, Merlynne! I intend to keep on reading.


Author's Response: Thanks for reading and thank you for your very encouraging review. We will be seeing more of the Varias family as soon as I find the time to get down to writing. I hope you won't be disappointed :)

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/18/12 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Someplace Cold

I forgot to mention in the previous review how much I like your rendition of the vampire myth. Without sacrificing the bare essentials, you've given it a twist to fit the plot. I'm quite excited to see what other symptoms are going to pop up.

Now, let me squee about Durmstrang. I've never had enough imagination to visualise the other wizarding schools, how they function and how different they are from Hogwarts. Your Durmstrang is fantastic, not in the sense that it sounds like a school I'd love to attend, but that it suits the idea that the books gave us. Details like the Privilege and Punishment points, which seem harsher than how things work at Hogwarts, the fact that Meleia easily uses dark magic against Isabel, the very Spartan structure of the dormitory, and the lack of a house system (unless I'm mistaken about the presence of one), all build up to a near-perfect picture of the school where the likes of Grindelvald and Karkaroff thrived. Great work here!

I came across a typo - which I think is a typo but might not be - Sorin's "Seeya". But, even if it wasn't a typo, I feel that "ya" is too casual and reminiscent of English to fit the general tone of your story. Another tiny nitpick I have is the characterisation of Isabel, who reminds me too much of Draco. However, this is the first time I'm reading her, so this might as well be a premature judgment from my side.

The last part made me tear up a bit. :/ Can't wait to read more!

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/18/12 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Dreamer


Before I get to that, one more thing I forgot to mention in the previous review. -sigh- The thing about reading a gripping story in one go is that I keep missing details I should mention in a review. So, I wanted to talk about the rule about speaking Russian. I don't know enough Eastern Europe history, but it mirrors the real life conditions quite well. It also reminds me of the question of "privilege", something which I keep noticing in your fic.

The school point system, the fact that Squibs seem to be an insult and Muggles aren't thought of well either: without hitting me too much over the head, these aspects of your story lets me know which side of the wizarding world I'm reading about. And then, you dropped the bomb in the end. I cannot wait to see how this is all going to turn out!

Krum seems somewhat lacklustre so far, but I think he's fairly young in this fic. I am not sure which year he is in this story. Is he Meleia's year? That would explain the fact that he sounds like an average teenager. I wonder how he will shape up to be the surly, serious and non-talkative person of the books. :)

I adore Viorel! He makes me smile with his enthusiasm and affection for his sisters. Going to read the next chapter!

Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 02/18/12 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Broken Things

Before I review this chapter, I want to pick up where I left off in the last review. In this story, you’re exploring the darker side of the wizarding world. Without painting these characters as blatantly evil, you have humanized them. For instance, I can see it in Lotaria; she has an affinity with dark magic. She seems the envious and very self-centered type; she’d have made a great Slytherin, too. But not everyone who is good at dark magic is necessarily a Machiavellian character. Ileana, for example. This story is giving my brain a lot of workout :D

Okay, I do have a few stylistic/technical nitpicks here:
“Tonight,” Ghelb went on. “Leave nothing on the pitch.
“Please,” she begged Fedorov. “Make sure I don’t dream this time.”

I think the second could work as separate sentences, but I’d make the first one a single line.

”Tonight,” Ghleb went on, “leave nothing on the pitch.”

There is also a line in which Arctopolinatus has been spelled incorrectly: Of course, serious Seekers often brought their own brooms; faster, more expensive racing brooks. Krum and Actopolitanus, for example.

Finally, there’s nothing wrong with it, but you refer to the coach as Ghleb, and then Mr. Ghleb in one or two instances, which felt somewhat inconsistent to me.

The problem of being a beta-reader is that such things tend to jump out at me while reading. >.< I’m a bit preoccupied with your Quidditch teams, and I fear I’ve got them wrong. So, there are three groups, right: Bears, Wolves and Eagles. Each group has three divisions, with 1 being the best, and 3 being the weakest. From what I read in this chapter, Eagles appear to be the most coveted team to get into. So, is it that the divisions of each group will compete first and then meet with the winners from the other two in the finals? This is confusing me just a a tad.

That said, this is one of my favourite fics ever and I’ve added it to my favourites, of course! I love Meleia, too. How odd I’ve never talked about her before! I hope things shape up well for her in the following chapters. Sorin knows now, but I don’t think he’s going to abandon her.