Body of Work
There’s something for everyone, unless you like reading Snape romances, which I don’t write. Or Voldemort’s children. Or Snape’s children. You will, however, find two Snape/Lily and one Voldemort/Minerva poems. Other than these, I’ve written:
Alternate Universe: Going against Salazar’s Grain, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best AU.
Dark/Angst: To Follow the Dark Lord, For I Am a Mother, Killing Meda’s Daughter, Him Alice and Me, Carousel, The Receding, Becoming Rita, On No One’s Side and Lacuna Mentis, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best D/A.
Draco/Astoria: Because You Came, Winner of 2011 QSQ Best Canon Romance.
Femmeslash: Cut, Bleed, Susan, Hands That Fit, Desire And a Half.
Humour: I Like a Healthy Breeze Round My Privates, Bit of a Nasty Shock. Mmm. These are exactly about what you’re thinking.
Harry/Hermione: Over a Mug of Tea, Harmony. I have delusional friends whom I love.
Historical: Waiting, An Act of Love
James/Lily: Ain’t Love the Sweetest Thing, Always Come Back to You
Maleslash: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored, Something Strange
Marauder Era: A Tale of Six Perspectives, Wish You Were Here, Common Cold Won’t Keep Me Down, Always … But Not Who You Think
Non-pairing: Sunday Lunch with the Malfoys
Scorpius/Rose: Breaking Rules, Of Weasleys And Malfoys
Scorpius/Hugo: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored
Dominique/OC: Cut, Bleed
Post-Hogwarts: Seamus’ Break with a Banshee, Mirrors, A Splendid Fate, and The Substitute, Winner of 2011 Best Non-Canon Romance
Ted/Andromeda: Eternal Flight, Five Christmases, Soul Sister
Ron/Mary Cattermole: The Substitute
James/Severus: Always … But Not Who You Think
Rita Skeeter: Becoming Rita
Merope Gaunt: The Receding
Florean Fortescue: Florean Fortescue - An Unsung Hero
Albus Dumbledore: Going against Salazar’s Grain
Bill Weasley: Never too Late
Andrew Carlton, OC: Being Muggle with Rooney
Tom Riddle: Commencement
Mrs Zabini: Rendezvous with Mrs Zabini, Desire And a Half
Pansy Parkinson: Carousel
Molly Weasley: Knowing Who She Was, The Solitary Prewett
Snape/Lily: The Silver Doe, In Winter in My Head
Draco/Harry: Dreams Made of Green
Remus/Tonks: it might not be, but still
Hogwarts: The Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd and The Clarion Call, Winner of 2010 QSQ Best Poetry
Lily Potter: The Gathering Storm and the Crib
Harry/Ginny: A Night of Love
Harry Potter: Memories Are Not Enough
Draco Malfoy: I Am Shame
Regulus Black: My Black Brother
Bellatrix and Narcissa: The Black Sisters
Bloody Baron/Grey Lady: Murder for Love
Hestia Jones (oh): Drive Your Car On
Draco/Hermione: The Other Woman
A Marriage Made at Hogwarts: I’m afraid I won’t be continuing this. :/ I had completed it ages ago, but I lost the draft twice and I don’t have the heart or the motivation to finish it. Or delete it.
Before I Forget: A Maleslash featuring Regulus/Rabastan. I will definitely complete it next year.
One Day in the Life of: A Next-Gen fic featuring all the - well - Next-Gen kids. This too will be finished in the coming year.
As of now, I’m severely blocked. D: However, I am working on the following projects and both will be posted before 31st January of next year:
Songs, Lovers and Everything in Between: A string of post-Hogwarts romances featuring rarepairs.
Bill Weasley and the Temple of Lsulaph: An Alternate Universe as well as Parallel Universe crack!fic-cum-adventure featuring the most dashing Weasley to grace your consciousness along with twelve daredevil and powerful sisters. Together, they must defeat the evil sorcerer/non-Egyptian pharaoh Lsulaph, who has taken over the Incaff sisters’ kingdom.
UPDATE: If you're looking for Fireworks Inside, here's a link: http://clickysmut.livejournal.com/2930.html
That’s pretty much it. Hope you enjoy the stay!
Well, hello there!
That was an excellent first story. You handled the theme of revenge really well. In fact, I'd say that you were going for more subtexts than the story lets on in the first read - the idea of a Slytherin being a Death Eater, and the argument over using a Killing Curse (the worst Unforgiveable, according to canon). Liam was certainly made more interesting by the fact that he was a Slytherin, and he is resourceful, cunning and ambitious. The ending was also superb: it leaves the question hanging, and though for Liam, the answer is already apparent by his final decision, it addresses the readers' conscience and sense of judgement.
Another thing I liked was your narrative style. You went through the history of Liam's reason for seeking vengeance, and the night when he goes out to do it in just two thousand words by craftily interspersing the memories into the narrative. That is indeed a huge achievement!
I would have preferred a bit more on why Liam's mother was attacked by a Death Eater, plus the timeline of the fic. Since the villain here is a Death Eater and not a random sex-offender and murderer (for I gather there was sexual abuse involved in Mrs Larkan's murder), it would have been interesting to figure Liam's own history - was he involved in either war?
My other nitpick is that spells should always be italicized.
That said, this is a fantastic debut on MNFF archives. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks very much for that! Yeah, I typically dislike the whole 'Slytherins are evil' stereotype. That's why I prefer to paint the character in gray. The thought of revenge could easily consume any character, and this is simply how I felt one person may act upon it. I understand the need to italicize spells, too, but as you can see, I used italics in this story to connote the character's flashbacks, and didn't want any confusion. That noted, thanks again for reading and the review. ^^
EEP! Sorry about this second review, but I meant "the idea of a Slytherin being an Auror" in my previous review.
All Teddy Lupin had ever wanted was to be the kind of man his godfather was. He even followed in Harry's footsteps and became an Auror.
Harry wanted nothing more than to be the father that Teddy would never have, but work and obligations always seemed to get in the way. Before he knew it, Teddy was all grown up. How had he missed all those precious moments? He knew he had to make up for it somehow.
After all, they had all the time in the world, right?
This fic WON a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story
Damn you, Jess! *wipes tears away* What is wrong with you? What is wrong with the world?
This was such a heartbreaking story, and really, I should have expected nothing less from you, you evil woman. But so well-written and engaging, so poignant and wonderful.
Oh well, what else is there to say. Brilliant!
Thank you, dear. I'm glad you appreciated it. 'Enjoy' probably wouldn't be the right word for that.
I've been asked why I never write about Teddy Lupin. I've always had this in my head as what happened, so I really didn't watn to put this into words. :*( Too sad.
Anyway, it's nice to chat, even if through review (ebil work). Heart heart heart and take care. :D
To most lycanthropes, it is a curse. To one, he relishes it and the power it gives him. Who is this one?
See Fenrir Greyback and his transformation from man to beast.
This tritina was written for the Department of Mysteries Challenge in the Poetry Anyone forum of the Beta Boards. By some miracle, it won first place. (love you, Jules)
This poem was also nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Poem
No wonder this won that challenge, yo! This poem is brilliant. I love your wit here, Jess. And I dunno if you meant this to be funny, but it made me laugh as well. The last line, by the way, is freaking awesome.
Real bad-a#@ poem!
Aww, thank you dear. I'm glad you like it...cause I think I still hate it, lol. It was another one of my lunchbreak poems that I cranked out merely for the sake of getting it done. :D
Thanks for stopping by, Miss Bestia!
Oh Gina! You know how I feel about this fic.
I have gushed so much in my review already. And now, I will be honest with you. I was worried how you would add to that; I knew you'd do great, don't get me wrong, but I was scared of expecting too much from someone.
AND YOU EXCELLED AT IT!
I seriously love your J/L. I could read them over and over again. This one was different because of the drunk! James approach, and how you wrote him so well. And Lily is so...believable and relatable. She seems really good for him.
The irony is the seemingly level-headed Lily learning so much from a drunk James, from the men who, even in his sober thought, she would never think of being anything less than immature. You executed that very well.
*I can only gush*
The ending was fabulous! This story makes me feel all warm and mushy inside. You have reaffirmed my love for this OTP.
Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant!
P.S. I think you should put this up on lilyandjames.
Author's Response: Natalie! I'm so glad you came to read the final product! Thank you for the amazing review. This was all thanks to you, you know. Your status update, remember? And I stole it one night when I couldn't sleep, lol. I'm glad the second part lived up to your expectations, since I hadn't really planned on continuing and you know I had trouble with the end. The last line finally came to me and I'm glad it's finished. It was great fun to write. I don't know about brilliant, but I'm rather pleased with how it turned out, given it's nothing but talking and no plot, lolol. This will forever be my OTP but I think I should maybe start branching off, don't you? I will break them up, mark my word! LOL! Thanks again!! ~Gina :)
How come I didn’t know this was up?
I am so happy you put it up here. :D It is brilliant, Gina! If there’s anything I seriously envy about you, it’s how you can write simple, character-based stories with just a few conversations going on, and yet they are wonderful to read and hold so much meaning.
Your characterization of James and Lily is just…I can’t describe it. You do it so well, so effortlessly. Both of them are no longer the two-dimensional characters we see in fanon. They have conflicts, they have personalities.
But the best thing about your J/L is the chemistry between them. See, this is why James and Lily work; this is why they are meant for each other. Both of them are passionate, but not overly so. And Lily cannot help but like James, no matter what.
There are so many parts in this story which I loved, but my favourite part is:
"Stop staring," he stated very clearly. "She is not feeling very well and I am merely helping her back to her dormitory."
Really love this fic, GinGin, and I can’t wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Natalie! Thank you so much for the review!! And the idea. :D I hope the title is okay for you. I can't wait for you to read the next part, once I finish it. Still not sure how far to take it, we'll see. I really appreciate the lovely review. It makes me feel a bit more confident about the story, which is really just one big long talk, lol. Bo-ring! ;) I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading it over - I hope you like the next part! *hugs* ~Gina :)
This was refreshing - filled with angst, urgency and drama, but refreshing all the same. I think what made it powerful, in spite of the shortness of the fic, was your writing style. It was so...I haven't got the word for it, but original and sharp. ;)
I feel that Regulus, and not Snape, would have made the first move. Snape is so Lily-obsessed in canon that I can't imagine him making a move on anyone else. I understand that Regulus himself wasn't in the state to carry out amorous advances, but Snape seems an unlikely choice. I am curious as to why you chose him.
Also, was that Lily's parents who got murdered? If it was them, I'd say you are amazing. Usually, I'd have raised an eyebrow at the Evans's being killed in a Death Eater attack, and that, too, by Regulus Black, but you have executed the idea so well, without fanfare and without being so obvious about it, that I can't help but be impressed.
All in all, I seriously enjoyed reading it.
P.S. It's also an interesting read for me as I am currently writing a Regulus/Rabastan chaptered fic. :D
Author's Response: Thankyou! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. The reason I chose Snape, I guess, was because I think he's lonely, and so's Regulus... I thought it would be interesting to try and throw them together in a romantic way, and this was what came out (although in the end, it was more eternally angsty than romantic... but then, considering the characters invovled, that should have been a given...). And yes, it was Lily's parents who were killed, I did wonder if anyone would pick up on that... It was an essential part of the story, so I didn't want to give too much detail on it, so I'm impressed people are noticing. Thankyou again for your gracious comments ^.^
In her seventh year, Katie Bell knew what it was like to fear death. A year later, she learnt what it was like to see it in front of her. Nothing she had ever experienced had prepared her to deal with the aftermath of that. And then he came.
Caught in a whirlwind of Quidditch, heartbreak, and a rivalry, Katie struggled with her jumbled mess of feelings, one of which she hadn't expected but was growing certain that she could never live without.
Oh my freaking Salazar! This story WON TWO 2011 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Post-Hogwarts Story and Best Non-Canon Romance Story. *flail*
This (late) update was brought to you by the (belated) birthday of the ever-lovely Hannah / h_vic. She is a star and an excellent friend!
This seems to be a good beginning to something good, oh yes! I really love your writing, how easily it flows. I know you moan about the word-vomit or word-constipation on AIM and elsewhere, but believe me, the struggle never shows in the final product.
Katie's characterisation was done really nicely. I think it is a believable portrayal of lost innocence, and of someone who is trying to cope with horrors which she may never forget. Her family life intrigued me, too, though I was a bit annoyed at her mother. Which should be a given.
Oh, the funeral. :( It made me doubly sad, but what a brilliant idea, the jokes and WWW products! They should make it canon, really.
I am happy Oliver entered as the Keeper in shining armour. (Takes a moment to giggle at our Sean Biggerstaff AIM convo.) I did think they kissed too soon, but his entrance didn't feel forced. I am interested to see how they carry on. My only fear is you might destroy it later on, the way you are.
My other nitpick is:
"Chances were that she didn’t want to hear those words anyway, because they would just bring back memories of that green slash of light that had struck Fred. "
I think Fred died because of an explosion caused by Rookwood, not the AK.
This is a great story, Jess! As Carole told me a few moments ago, this romance is more than just fluff.
Keep writing, and I'll see you in the City Games!
Hello their, e-bestie. :D
I'm glad you like it so far. The second chapter is already in the queue. I intend to finish this one with about five or six chapters, and I'm going to work on it until it's finished. I really love working on it.
About the Fred thing...I'll have to re-check DH, but I'm fairly certain that he was AKed. I'll check again, but being killed by an explosion isn't very conducive of dying with a smile frozen on one's face.
Thanks for reviewing, as always. Heart
What made Hermione ask out a boy who "makes Grawp look a gentleman"?
One of my favourite artists writes a smashing Romione as well! SQUEE!
I absolutely adored this! You wrote both characters very convincingly, letting them wallow in self-pity and despair in the most fitting voice possible. I equally liked Ron ad Hermione’s parts, though Ron’s made me laugh out more. Hermione’s was bittersweet.
My sole nitpick has to do with the inconsistency in Hermione’s part. You start off in the Simple Present Tense, and then:
Jealousy. What a bitter emotion. Hermione thought she had dealt with it before, watching Ron’s slack jawed gaze whenever they had been in the vicinity of Fleur Delacour. But this… this was the real thing.
From here to the next three paras, the tense has shifted to Simple Past. If you fix that, it would be even more fabulous.
I must say, I am excited to see what else you come up with. This was a great first story.
Author's Response: Natalie! Thank you for reading my first one-shot! (I'm afraid you are under a misaprehension. This is not my first story, merely my first story with only one chapter. =D)
Your review has made me feel quite amazing. I love hearing that people adore my work, whether drawing or writing. You have now complemented both. =D Thank you so much for pointing out the tense inconsistency, I shall be sure to fix it soon.
Thank you for stopping by! Feel free to come again! Haha.
I enjoyed this! You can pack so many things in a short one-shot. The parallel between the ending and the beginning was nicely done, and I think your characterisation suited Bellatrix's overbearing nature.
The only issue I have is that your story isn't consistent with canon. The Black sister's ages are mixed - plus, if Narcissa was seven when the story started, Sirius would have been 3. He was born in 1959, and Narcissa in 1955. Another thing, Narcissa wasn't a Death Eater. JKR has confirmed this in an interview.
Those are a few things which wouldn't change your overall storyline if you added them. But apart from them, I thought it was a great character study of Bellatrix. Can't wait to see what else you're going to come up with. :)
Author's Response: Sorry. I can't add to save my life, and the Black family tree has never been a particular subject of mine, nor have interviews with JK. I may just put a note in or something... Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
- MNFF kept cutting off my review -
I was trawling through the General category and I came across this. As this seemed to be connected to your chaptered WIP Hermione, I thought I’d give it a read.
I do agree on your assessment of Snape – fans who see him as a ‘hero’ often gloss over his shortcomings. They are pretty glaring shortcomings, too. It was also interesting to make Hermione a mouthpiece for your argument. She would be clever enough to remember Snape was, well, ‘grey’ – neither good nor bad.
I would have enjoyed this more, however, if it wasn’t for the multiple typos and grammatical errors. For instance,
With the time change, it was obscenely late by the time she arrived at the Weasleys’.
It should be “she had arrived” as the “was obscenely” is in the Simple Past Tense.
Hermione’s tired shoulders slumped at the voice, and went to go join him on the sofa. What are you still doing up.”
As the subject is “Hermione’s shoulder” and not “Hermione”, you need to place a subject in the clause after the comma. Otherwise, it sounds like Hermione’s tired shoulders went to join Ron. I am also not sure why the next sentence doesn’t have an interrogation mark – it doesn’t work as a statement.
“If he became a teacher under any other circumstances, he would have been sacked long before any of us started at Hogwarts!"
Another tense confusion here - it should be “if he had become”.
There are also typos, “Hermione speech” for instance, which can cause a break in the flow of reading. Perhaps, you could give this one-shot a reread and edit it?
As for characterization, I thought Hermione could do without the excessive swearing. It’s just that we see her angry a lot in the books and she never swears. The only time she comes close to it is ‘Merlin’s pants’, and that doesn’t exactly sound like as bad as ‘bloody bullshit’.
I prolly sound like a prick, but I do feel that a bit of editing, this story could be a lot more decent.
Author's Response: Yes, I'm think of sending all my stories back to a beta for a second round of editing. As for Hermione's swearing, have you ever watched a nerd finally spazz out after holding in their feelings for a long time. It gets really ugly. And I feel like Hermione is capable of holding in a lot of rage until it finally explodes. And in the story, Hermione actually remarks at how out of character this is for her, but that she can't stop because it feels so good to finally say all these things.
MMMM! I really think these haikus were perfect: they have vivid imagery, and contradicting thoughts. They also go hand in hand with Shrouds ;). Did you have that on your mind while doing this?
Time heals the wounds.
The past blurs and seeds renew.
Darkness never dies.
Great one, Carole, and good luck with the challenge.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I guess I have Shrouds and Draco on my mind. He does seem to be featuring in a few things at the moment. It was the books, though, watching him turn from the cocky wannabee Death Eater into a wreck that didn't really want to identify Harry that got me thinking. Plus there's a reconciliation - of sorts - in the epilogue. (Hmm, why am I using this response to think about Draco so much - ha ha) thank you ~Carole~
Oh, you know how I love this. :)
Dean/Anyone makes me happy in general, but this pairing really surprised me. I wasn’t expecting it at all. But you did it, didn’t you? You pulled it off. Nothing about this was incredulous. You showed they both had something in common, a terrible experience which would pull them together. It took time, but when they finally get together, I was smiling in relief. Something about it felt just right.
Your characterization was spot on. I have always thought of post-War Dean as reserved and somewhat moody; we can see him heading that way in DH. There is a sort of loneliness in him which makes me ache. That Dean is here.
Hestia was lovely, and so close to how I pictured her. Brave, yet funny. She seemed right for Dean, and I hope they had a good relationship.
Lastly, thank you for this amazing birthday present. :D I have such great friends, and you’re one of the very best. LOVE YOU!
I was just relieved you didn't go 'wtf' when you read it. I've never written Dean before, so I'm glad you liked my portrayal. I would think that , having probably witnessed Ted Tonks's murder and that he had been imprisoned in Malfoy Manor, he would have some bitterness issues, as would anyone. I wanted him to be himself, but not entirely.
Blad you liked it, dear, and I'm happy we could make your birthday a happy one.
AArrgh! I fear for their friendship! I fear for Dita. (Cool name, btw. Wonder where you found it.)
Oh, Carole, thank you so, so much! This sounds like a brilliant story, and I can't express how amazed I feel at having this dedicated to me. :D
Can't wait to find out about the meeting with Sirius. :D MOTORBIKES!
Once again, thank you so much!
Author's Response: Ahhhh, the motorbikes may not feature much more ... but I do have a 'deleted scene' that I may put on LJ. Glad you like it. The story became rather obsessional (is that a word) because I wanted it to work, but I also became rather attached to Dita. Hope you like the rest. ~Carole~
Ahhh! A new chapter. :D:D:D
I was surprised by how quickly things had gone ahead. I was actually expecting to see Sirius getting fascinated with Dita's dad's bike, but instead I got an...er...steamy scene. *sniggers*
I really must congratulate you on your ability to write believable ME era OCs. The MacDonald sisters are great, but the Muggle Dita is just as good. I also completely love the fact that you're bringing in cultural issues here, and the problem of having a bi-cultural identity. But you don't overdo it so that it becomes too much for the story, and that can be a difficult thing to achieve. Also, her story with James is quite a nice foil to James' relationship with Lily. I'm desperate to know how their affair will end.
I am not going to comment on characterisation. I feel...odd when I'm reviewing an ME fic by you and trying to comment on that aspect because your version is now canon for me. But I still want to mention that I loved the banter.
The only thing which stuck out to me was James not ever coming home for Christmas. Why was that?
Oh well, in short, I can NOT wait for an update.
Author's Response: Ah, basically James didn't come home for Christmas because things were more exciting at Hogwarts ... Sirius wouldn't have gone home for one thing, and then if the full moon happened over the holiday period, I would assume Remus stayed too. I thought I'd mentioned that but perhaps I edited it out. There was a scene with the motorbikes but I had to cut as it was turning into a multi layered epic. Other cut scenes ... Dita meeting Alex Turner ... James and Alex fighting ... Um, that was it - ha ha. Glad you enjoyed it, anyway. ~Carole~
We have reached the end, haven't we?
This was a beautiful story, Carole, and so well-written and nicely pulled off. You risked the danger of writing Marauder/Muggle but it paid you off. It made me smile throughout, and even weep a bit towards the end.
Thank you for this lovely, lovely present. I am so honoured to have friends like you. :)
Author's Response: I took my time responding to your lovely review because I didn't quite know what to say. (Siriusly - lol didn't quite cut it
I loved writing it, and I loved having a reason to write it. ~Carole~
Oh gosh! This year's birthday is the best!
What a fantastic poem, Gin Gin. You're right - it can be about everybody. And yes, you're right again - I do enjoy other pairings a lot. :) Love the final couplet. Really, really fitting.
Thanks a lot! I love it.
Author's Response: You are very welcome! I'm glad you liked it. I really did have fun writing it, it's been a while since I've written a poem like this. Hope you are having a happy birthday!! ~Gina :)
Albus Potter had what some would call a fascinating job -- working for the Magical Law Enforcement's intelligence department. But when suspicious activity caused the Ministry to think the infamous Knights of Walpurgis were up to something, their leading expert was called into action.
In disguise and out of his mind, Albus embarked on an impossible task, but when things started turning for the worse, why were his only thoughts about the one person he would hurt along the way?
This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Next-Generation Story AND Best Same-Sex Pairing Story
Ahhh! Where do I start? Damn.Okay, the beginning then. So, I still remember the day when you poked me on AIM and told me about this story you had for a Spooky Swap. (Dunno if you recall.) I was doing some work, but I got distracted by this; this was ambitious, this was intriguing, this was definitely insane. I think that you were going under a phase of exhaustion, but even then, I had complete faith in you. I knew you would pull it off, and I couldn’t wait to see the final product. So why didn’t I read this for a long time? Because I kept looking for a few spare hours when my mind would be free of work and worry. I wanted to enjoy every bit of this without getting interrupted, and maybe even the fates agreed with me because my boyfriend fell asleep and we didn’t have our nightly hour-long phone convo. Ha! I was drawn in by the first few paras. I found the writing particularly strong there. Your writing has something very fluid about it. I know of your extensive vocabulary and rather creative turns of phrases (which pop up frequently as the story progresses), but here, I’m thinking of your command over descriptive prose, and your writing it with simple, uncomplicated English. Quoting everything would just clog up the review, so I’m just going to mention that the starting paras were well-written. You know what blew my mind away, though? Chapter 4’s love-making. That was gorgeous, Jess. That was a masterpiece. I hope I’ll be able to hone my skills enough to write something like that some day. It was like…total eyegasm. I must also mention that it exorcised the last residues of the traumatic experience I’d undergone while reading the wank on Henry Miller’s Boris Goatee Saga. *pauses to snigger uncontrollably* Seriously, though, I couldn’t praise it enough. Your sense of humour shone throughout the fic as well. I could keep on quoting forever, but I’ll let the following suffice: Chapter 2 This conversation was rapidly becoming a crash course in the ‘do’s and ‘don’t’s of wooing women. His older brother had a panty-peeling smile, so he could afford to be a complete arsehole to the ones he didn’t want. Even if he could answer the question, Albus wouldn’t even know where to start. “Fucking hell,” he said frustratedly, forgetting for a moment to stay in character. Scorpius chuckled. “Charming, dear. I love how I never know what you’re going to say.” Chapter 3 But he had promised Ernie that he would respect his niece’s body. Scorpius would pay homage to it. It had been a while. To hell with Ernie. Chapter 4 Please tell me you’re joking, because there is no way you’re that Albus Potter. He’s about four inches taller, and he definitely doesn’t have tits like yours.” I barely knew your name from school. I don’t think I’d even talked to you before.” I want to eat whatever I want, scratch my bollocks when I feel like, and drink sodding beer instead of that damned poof juice!” Chapter 6 “Are you saying…” Albus didn’t dare hope that Scorpius had somehow had a change of heart, not to mention sexuality. These will never not put a grin on my face. Getting back on the issue of writing, I felt that the story was well-paced, and each chapter looked complete in itself, advancing the story further, filling it out, and then ending with a superb cliff-hanger. The only issue I have is with one particular leitmotif which ran through your early chapters: Albus annoyance with men hitting on him. His desire to hit men who hit on him is a reasonable thing to feel, but I do think it got repetitive when it was mentioned a fair few times. For me, at least, that was one thing which could be polished up. Right. Characterisation. It was amazing. I didn’t hate Albus at all. By the end of Chapter 5, I was feeling sorrier for him because, knowing how cruel you can be, I thought they weren’t going to end up together. While it was obvious neither Scorpius nor Albus would escape the final reveal without getting their heart burned, the latter appeared to have a lot to lose as well. I loved Scorpius, too. Actually, I may have fallen in love with him a little. I found the promiscuity endemic rather hilarious, although they made the Malfoy lifestyle look rather nauseating and damaged. I am still shuddering at Daphne’s husband, mind you. Almost all characters were done nicely, though I’d have loved a bit more on Astoria; she seemed to be the weakest in terms of characterization. My favourite was Greengrass, of course! Now, the story. Does it seem crazy? Of course, it does! But that doesn’t take away it’s beauty, not one bit. What matters in the way is how you write a story. The plot is tricky, the very bizarre arrangement of both sexual and emotional attractions that develop between the two characters is tricky; making it sound even remotely possible would be one gargantuan task. Perhaps, if a less talented writer was to handle this, it might end up being sporked. So, what made yours special? You gave it credibility. You took on the challenge with seriousness, and you infused the story with your talent at writing believable human beings. You did not get carried away, no; it seems pretty clear throughout that you are aware of the ramifications of living with such a f*****d-up identity crisis, and you show that in Albus’ increasing confusion regarding who he really is. But what ultimately made this a wonderful read is that it was apparent that you had fun writing this. I know the frustration and doubts you suffered while you were working on this project, but I can also imagine you had a right laugh. Maybe, that is what makes me enjoy it so much - to know that you were as invested in it as I, as the reader am, and to be aware that you were having as much fun. The ending was such a surprisingly happy one I nearly refused to believe it was written by you. I thought James got too comfortable with the relationship within a short time, and I’d like to hear why that was so. I am not, of course, complaining. I was rooting for those two, and hoping by some good luck – maybe with the grace of Boris’ goatee, that they would get together in the end. And they did! So, this is where I’ll end this mammoth review. Very, very wonderfully written, mate. It’s unfair that this doesn’t have more reviews than it does now, and I hope that changes soon. But now you know that I, at least, am a salivating fan of your work. ~Natalie
I'd like to know where to start to respond to this review, but I really don't know. I suppose I'm just relieved that it isn't as sporkable as it had the potential to be. I guess I've written enough conventional love stories to have needed the aberration into the realm of 'wtf'. I knew when I started this that it was either brilliant or completely ridiculous, but imagine my surprise when I found that, according to readers, it's both but works well that way.
My favourite character in writing this was always Scorpius, because he was a genuine good guy who wanted better than blood supremacy for the world, which I'll chalk down as a kid wondering why his parents thought different things than the rest of the world about Muggle-borns and found that everyone else was right and what he'd grown up with was wrong. He tried to walk this tremulous between the two worlds and did so well until he met Albus... Melinda... er, you know what I mean, lol.
I remember something Elene told me about smut. She said that she was okay with it, but it didn't need to be an anatomy lesson, and that stuck with me. Everyone knows how sex works, but what people identify with is the underlying emotions of it. I know when I read smut, I don't want Discovery Channel; I want passion on passion. It doesn't have to be nasty or kinky to be passionate; it has to be raw and real, and that's what I wanted for this story. I'm glad you think it's a masterpiece, because that was the one part of the fic save for the end that I was worried about not being up to snuff.
I know the end seems a little incongruous from the rest of the story, but as I told Carole, the time Albus spent unconscious was time that Scorpius spent searching his heart for just how he felt about this person who had meant so much to him and how that related to Albus. He kissed Albus because he couldn't live with himself not knowing what could have been, even if it wasn't what he'd expected. Most of all, he felt he owed it to Albus, who had been willing to die for him just so he could get away. That sort of thing leaves a mark on a person.
The thing with James is a long, long story. The story between the Potter brothers is one that presently exists in my head, and this is a hint of that. For years, Albus resented James because he was better looking, taller, more popular, and got better marks in school. It took YEARS for them to hash things out and for Albus to realise that even though he'd always thought that James was rubbing things in his face, it was more a case that James just is the way he is. From there, they decided to be more accepting of the other, no matter what. I guarantee you that James is thinking all sorts of mean things in his head, but he ultimately loves his brother too much to say any of them.
Addressing Astoria, to me, she's just not very nice. She hates Mudbloods because she's frankly not very intelligent. I need to write this story some day, but Astoria is like a lemming. She is fed propaganda to the point where those thoughts become her own, and she becomes a supremacist because she's left with the conclusion that this is how it should be. Scorpius is more like Draco in that he isn't quite as dumb. He has the werewithal to second guess what he's told, sort of like how Draco second guessed being a Death Eater once he saw what the reality of being one was. Daphne is still a bit prejudiced, but only passively so, and certainly not nearly as much as Astoria, who you can almost think of as like Bellatrix without the cunning.
Well, I'll shut up now. If you have any more questions or things you want to discuss, you know where to find me. Fabulous review, Madam Greengrass, and I'm so glad you liked my bats*** story. :D
First of all, how come I haven't read this before?
Second, why must you always hurt James?
Third and most important, WHY ARE YOUR JAMES/LILY FICS ALL SO BLOODY BRILLIANT?
No, seriously, I was giggling throughout the whole fic and just ...I can't describe the kinds of emotions I felt. It was fun and sweet and heartbreaking and hilarious. Lily is as never as fun as she is in your fics, and James only manages to make me fall deeper and deeper in love with him. Please don't stop writing them, Gina.
A few nitpicks before I fangirl more:
"When James came out, he found her staring forlornly across the street, her mind going over the strange turn of her afternoon."
It seems to shift to his POV here, and the rest is from Lily's, so I'd suggest you tweak the sentence a bit. There were also at least two other instances where you had left a word and a punctuation, but I can't find them now. :(
Really, really wonderful fic, Gina. My infatuation with Prongs grows as I read more of your fics.
Author's Response: Natalie! Thanks so much for reading this! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I have a confession. I think I actually started this for you, way back in October. And I got majorly stuck and gave it up, certain it would never work. It took a while, but I ironed it out, lol. I do tend to pick on James a lot - I mean, go through my J/L fics and it's like a tic or something. I'm not sure what it is about him. I just love giving him a hard time, I guess. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll go back someday and make those tweaks. Eventually. ;) Thanks so much for reading this and for the lovely review! You know I'll never give up writing them! ~Gina :)
This was gr3at, Carol3!
It was long, but I'm happy it was long. I always 3njoy r3ading your wok, so th3 mor3, th3 m3rri3r!
This story has got so much going on, building up to things, and 3v3n r3solving som3. I 3sp3cially lik3 th3 r3f3r3nc3 to P3t3r. I do f33l bad for him b3caus3 - w3ll, I'v3 always f3lt that th3 group would hav3 don3 just as w3ll without him. :( It's sad, though, b3caus3 it is going to com3 back and bit3 all of th3m.
Rosm3rta was writt3n v3ry nic3ly h3r3. I was surpris3d you s3t h3r up with R3mus, b3caus3 Rosmius s33ms quit3 popular. But Rosmus works b3tt3r, I think. Or, you just wrot3 it v3ry convincingly. And now, I want mor3 Rosmus. Hahaha! I may hav3 to sn3ak in som3 Kappas into your hous3.
Thanks for anoth3r lov3ly story. It mad3 m3 laugh a lot, and 3v3n mad3 m3 f33l b3tt3r. :D
Author's Response: It was long, wasn't it - ha ha. I wrote the blooming thing and actually cut parts of it.
Mmm, I was thinking about Sirius and Rosmerta, but I think it's a bit overdone, so I decided Remus should have some fun. A follow up when he goes back to teach could be fun - hee hee. (or rather h33 h33)
Glad you're smiling again, anyway and thank you for reviewing. ~Carole~