Penname: hestiajones [Contact]
Real name: Natalie
Member Since: 06/03/09
Website:
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Member
Bio:

Body of Work


There’s something for everyone, unless you like reading Snape romances, which I don’t write. Or Voldemort’s children. Or Snape’s children. You will, however, find two Snape/Lily and one Voldemort/Minerva poems. Other than these, I’ve written:

Completed Fics:

Alternate Universe: Going against Salazar’s Grain, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best AU.

Dark/Angst: To Follow the Dark Lord, For I Am a Mother, Killing Meda’s Daughter, Him Alice and Me, Carousel, The Receding, Becoming Rita, On No One’s Side and Lacuna Mentis, Winner of 2011 QSQ for Best D/A.

Draco/Astoria: Because You Came, Winner of 2011 QSQ Best Canon Romance.

Femmeslash: Cut, Bleed, Susan, Hands That Fit, Desire And a Half.

Humour: I Like a Healthy Breeze Round My Privates, Bit of a Nasty Shock. Mmm. These are exactly about what you’re thinking.

Harry/Hermione: Over a Mug of Tea, Harmony. I have delusional friends whom I love.

Historical: Waiting, An Act of Love

James/Lily: Ain’t Love the Sweetest Thing, Always Come Back to You

Maleslash: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored, Something Strange

Marauder Era: A Tale of Six Perspectives, Wish You Were Here, Common Cold Won’t Keep Me Down, Always … But Not Who You Think

Next-Gen:
Non-pairing: Sunday Lunch with the Malfoys
Scorpius/Rose: Breaking Rules, Of Weasleys And Malfoys
Scorpius/Hugo: In the Back of the Shack, At the End of It, Anchored
Dominique/OC: Cut, Bleed
Lucy/Lorcan: Whirlwind

Post-Hogwarts: Seamus’ Break with a Banshee, Mirrors, A Splendid Fate, and The Substitute, Winner of 2011 Best Non-Canon Romance

Ted/Andromeda: Eternal Flight, Five Christmases, Soul Sister

Crack Pairings:
Ron/Mary Cattermole: The Substitute
James/Severus: Always … But Not Who You Think

Character Studies:
Rita Skeeter: Becoming Rita
Merope Gaunt: The Receding
Florean Fortescue: Florean Fortescue - An Unsung Hero
Albus Dumbledore: Going against Salazar’s Grain
Bill Weasley: Never too Late
Andrew Carlton, OC: Being Muggle with Rooney
Tom Riddle: Commencement
Mrs Zabini: Rendezvous with Mrs Zabini, Desire And a Half
Pansy Parkinson: Carousel
Molly Weasley: Knowing Who She Was, The Solitary Prewett


Poetry:

Snape/Lily: The Silver Doe, In Winter in My Head
Tom/Minerva: Spiral
Draco/Harry: Dreams Made of Green
Remus/Tonks: it might not be, but still
Hogwarts: The Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd and The Clarion Call, Winner of 2010 QSQ Best Poetry
Lily Potter: The Gathering Storm and the Crib
Harry/Ginny: A Night of Love
Harry Potter: Memories Are Not Enough
Draco Malfoy: I Am Shame
Regulus Black: My Black Brother
Bellatrix and Narcissa: The Black Sisters
Bloody Baron/Grey Lady: Murder for Love
Hestia Jones (oh): Drive Your Car On
Draco/Hermione: The Other Woman


WIP/Abandoned:

A Marriage Made at Hogwarts: I’m afraid I won’t be continuing this. :/ I had completed it ages ago, but I lost the draft twice and I don’t have the heart or the motivation to finish it. Or delete it.
Before I Forget: A Maleslash featuring Regulus/Rabastan. I will definitely complete it next year.
One Day in the Life of: A Next-Gen fic featuring all the - well - Next-Gen kids. This too will be finished in the coming year.


Upcoming Fics:

As of now, I’m severely blocked. D: However, I am working on the following projects and both will be posted before 31st January of next year:

Songs, Lovers and Everything in Between: A string of post-Hogwarts romances featuring rarepairs.

Bill Weasley and the Temple of Lsulaph: An Alternate Universe as well as Parallel Universe crack!fic-cum-adventure featuring the most dashing Weasley to grace your consciousness along with twelve daredevil and powerful sisters. Together, they must defeat the evil sorcerer/non-Egyptian pharaoh Lsulaph, who has taken over the Incaff sisters’ kingdom.


UPDATE: If you're looking for Fireworks Inside, here's a link: http://clickysmut.livejournal.com/2930.html

That’s pretty much it. Hope you enjoy the stay!
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Reviews by hestiajones
 

Summary: Draco Malfoy stood in front of the mirror and studied his reflection closely. Flicking some invisible dust off his shoulder, Draco was satisfied. He knew he looked the part; it was just that the guests didn’t know which part he was playing.

Draco Malfoy is about to get married. The wedding has been planned for months, a union between the class of the Malfoys and the new money of his bride. His parents are delighted.

But Draco, possibly for the first time in his life, is about to defy them.

I am Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry in The Weddings Challenge - category Surprise Wedding - in the Great Hall Challenge.

Thank you so much to Natalie (hestiajones) for beta'ing this story in record time.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I'd love to be, but alas, she has far more talent.

Categories: Draco/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 4258 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/01/10 Updated: 06/01/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/01/10 Title: Chapter 1: Runaway Specials.

OHMIPRONGS, CAROLE!



This was brilliant! I was weeping tears of mirth while beta-ing this last night. :D I just thought the whole idea was wacky and unexpected and original, and you pulled it off with such ease.



The characterisation was perfect, the humour just right. Of course, the icing on the cake was the witnesses.



It was a great experience reading this. Good luck with the challenge!



~Natalie.

Author's Response: And of course Jean Paul Golompierre has nothing to do with your review. Hee hee. Thank you, Natalie. I'm glad it makes you laugh in the cold light of day and not when you're ridiculously tired yet still not sleeping *scowls*. ~Carole~

 

In Love and War by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: In the middle of a war, James Potter and Lily Evans have decided to get married. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, they pledge their love to one another, and even the Dark Lord himself cannot keep them from realizing their vows.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw and I am writing for the Great Hall Wedding Challenge - Big Wedding prompt.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 12499 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/02/10 Updated: 06/06/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/06/10 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three - The Wedding

Gina!

I have to say I admire your skill with writing action. You paid attention to all of the members present, but it seemed to be happening so fast.

I am waiting eagerly for the next chapter. And - oh - the vows were beautiful.

My only minor 'nitpick' (for want of a better word) is that you use semi-colons far too often. Sometimes, I feel short and simple sentences are better than to have semi-colons.

Thanks for an action-packed, emotional and full-of-suspense chapter!

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Natalie! Thank you so much for the review! This is what I was working on early last week when we were chatting. Thank you for the compliment on the action! I have to tell you (because I have to tell someone!) that I made so many notes on that - writing out Order members, Death Eaters, spells, even a little map. Whew! I'm glad it paid off. Thanks again for your help. And I really appreciate the semi-colon comment. It gives me something to look for as I try to finish up today, and something to work on when I try to step out of my box next time. Thank you for reading this, I really appreciate the support!! ~Gina, or the girl who never met a semi-colon she didn't like. ;)

 
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - The Groom

Gina!

That was a fitting closure indeed. Thankfully, everyone made it out of the mess alive. Sad that Lily and James had to suffer so much on their wedding, but hey! At least you gave them a proper one at the hospital. ;)

I feel almost sad that this action-packed romance has come to an end. And, oddly enough, I feel relieved for you at the same time because of the stress you went through in order to get it done. In any case, this was a great fic which had something to offer to everybody, and I'm honoured to be a part of it, no matter how small that part may be. Keep writing and giving us brilliant stories!

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Hi Natalie! Thank you so much for finishing this story! Whew, what a ride! Sorry about all the crazy IMs there at times, lol. Thanks again for your help and support. I'm glad its over too. It was really only stressful because of the deadline. You know I love James and Lily so I'm already thinking maybe I should write about what happened when he proposed, what do you think? Of course I'll keep writing something, although I don't know about the brilliant part. Thanks again for the lovely review, dear! They make it all worth it. :) ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/03/10 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two - The Bride

Gina!



Oh Merlin! This is a wonderful story. I guess you're doing a trilogy?



I love your overall characterisation, but James and Lily are written so well here. Especially James! He seems so much mature, so much darker; he seems to understand finally that life is not all Quidditch and pranks, and the change in him is apparent throughout the story.



Lily still wanting to make up with Petunia is something in fanfiction that I like to see because it lends depth to her character. We all know she can be harsh on people, that she is not your average nice girl, and that she has her own principles. But her relationship with Petunia is complicated, and the way you've shown it here is great.



And now, I can't wait for that action-packed wedding!



~Natalie.

Author's Response: Natalie! Thank you so much for reading this and leaving such a nice review! I'm glad I did okay by the characters. I really do picture James as maturing out of his fifth-year self, because I just don't think Lily would have started dating him - let alone married him - otherwise. Thanks for your help with the upcoming bits, I hope you like the wedding! ~Gina :)

 

Brazen by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 24]

Summary: Past Featured Story

*These are the times that try men's souls.

Well, that couldn't be any more real for Draco Malfoy than on the eve of his wedding. He was getting married the next day, but all he could think about is how his life was about to become so much more damned complicated.

He had no idea.

 

*Quote - Thomas Paine, American revolutionary.

 

This fic was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Humour



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 6829 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/02/10 Updated: 06/03/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh Holy Freaking Prongs!



What was this? It had me crying tears of mirth, And yet - and yet, I could discern your wonderful sense of humour here in the madness. There are so many parts which were hilarious I am not going to bother and tell you.



Draco could kill people with his sarcasm here. It was a delight to read, Seriously, this might just turn out to be my favourite fic from you. And even though you will resent me for saying this, I feel it takes real talent to pull such a story off, real talent to cram so much swear words and evilness and sex and then pull it off with elan.



My only nitpick was this part in your fic (the earlier paras) where you refer to Potter as 'Harry'. Apart from that, just brilliant!



~Natalie,

Author's Response:

Haha, I told you it was raunchy!

I'm glad you liked it. This was actually pretty easy to write, because, as you know, raunchiness flows out of me like a little volcano. :D

I shall find the instance of which you speak for the Potter/Harry character break and fix it straightaway.

I love you. Heart Heart (the little e-hearts screw up the HTML, and the Alt3 ones don't work).

~Jess

 

Isla by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Isla Black knows what is expected of her- a marriage to Pureblood Adair Selwyn. But how can she marry him when she loves someone else- someone she could never be with? Here is the story of the first hole on the Black family tree.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3349 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/03/10 Updated: 06/06/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: A Fairy-Tale

Oh this was so much fun to read? Again, why no reviews? I am flabbergasted. D:

It was interesting to see a fun and less bleak take on Isla's story. And you certainly wrote it in an entertaining way - I have to say, Isla's letter made me laugh out loud. I loved your characterisation of both characters as well!

I just feel that the story was a bit rushed, and as your current word count stands somewhere between 3500-4500, you could have expanded it a bit more. All the essential moments are there, but they need a bit more filling out.

That said, this was a pleasant read.

Keep writing!

~Natalie.

P.S. Can you tell I am stalking your author page? Haha!

Author's Response: Somehow, I couldn't write a love story with too much sadness-- it just didn't work. I tried and tried to fill out the story, but decided to leave some things up to the reader. Sometimes, too much detail bogs a story down. I am so happy that someone has finally reviewed the story. P.S. No duh. But I'm so honored by it!

 

Unbreakable by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

The marriage between Dorian Nott and Isla Black was the talk of the town, but to reporter Fredrick Whitlatch, it was yet another mundane societal write up. However, when the wedding started without the bride, his wish of a bigger, better story came true all too fast. What happened next went futher than his wildest imaginings.

Where was Isla?

 

This fic was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best History Story.



Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Mild Profanity

Word count: 4674 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/04/10 Updated: 06/06/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Jess,

I thought this was an imaginative entry for the challenge. You took a challenging pair and created an original story around it. It had the right mix of everything - mystery, drama, action, tragedy and romance. Although, I must say I still prefer the drabble version. Hehe. I mean the one which had all of us flummoxed. >.<

And, oh, Dorian Nott gives me the creeps. But wasn't that your intention? ;)

Love,
Natalie.

Author's Response:

'Ello, there, e-bestie!

I just figured that every other version of Bob/Isla had already been written in some way/shape/form. She's the beautiful black princess, doomed to love the handsome Mudblood. Why do they have to be so perfect? Can't she have an odd twitch, and can't he be a cranky a-hole?

Oh, and Dorian is definitely a creeper. I am contemplating expanding his universe. 

*hugs* 

Jess.

P.S. - I went through and re-read the whole thing and changed some stuff around. When I originally edited, I was really tired and in a hurry. Shame on me. >.<

 

Veils by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 28]

Summary: It is the night before Petunia Evans' wedding. As she stares at herself in the mirror, she is satisfied with her appearance. The dress is perfect, cleverly cut to give her curves, and she looks like a dream. Yes, the dress is perfection ... but what of the veil?

She has promised Vernon and his formidable mother that she will wear the Dursley veil. It is an antique. A family heirloom.

It is hideous.

What she needs is a miracle to rid her of the ugly thing ... or perhaps a touch of magic.

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry in the Weddings Challenge - prompt Big Weddings - in the Great Hall Challenge over at the MNFF beta boards.

Thank you to Samarie (Hopeful_Song) and Kara (Karaley Dargen) for beta'ing this.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling. I doubt anyone is surprised by that.

Holy Moroley and all things Padfoot! This won the QSQ for Best Marauder Era story. Thank you!

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5393 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/05/10 Updated: 06/05/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 06/06/10 Title: Chapter 1: Veils

I know how everyone was trying hard to think of anything other than fluff for those prompts, and yet, you all seem to be doing really great! But – if I were asked to choose a favourite (and, mind you, I’ve enjoyed reading all the entries), I’d pick this one. Yes, I’m a sucker for ME fic, and I love Prongs to death, but it’s just the way it is written, and your utter genius of coming up with great plots. Because I know you struggled with this story particularly hard, it’s a wonder how this story seems to read so easily, as though you wrote it within an hour without a single break.

I love Petunia here. I mean, I don’t love her, but how she’s been written. I see this is before her marriage, before Lily dies and she goes to hating her memories in peace, when her sister is still alive to vividly remind her of the relationship they shared as kids. That Petunia, torn between her jealousy and the love she once had for her sister, is very much apparent here.

James – ah! Merlin. I think I am even more in love with him after reading this. Hmmm…Anyway, I thought both Sirius and James were so Marauder-y here, and my favourite, favourite part is Sirius’ note at the end. That made me tear up. That seriously did because…well, it made me sad about everything – their youth, their laughter, their innocence, all of those things which they were going to lose pretty soon. Sirius showed he cared in his own way, and for once – for a second – I may have felt more attracted to him than James.

Lily was such a darling here. I got so angry for her. If only Petunia hadn’t been Petunia, Lily would have given her so much happiness. And the gift was wonderful. I had a feeling Lily would somehow end up making Petunia wear it. LOl! I just had no clue how that was going to happen. Haha!

As for the Dursleys, yyeeeuugh! That is a perfect representation of how I imagined them to be. It sucks Petunia had to get Vernon for a boyfriend, and then take his perspective as the final one, and then be ashamed of her own parents, who seem to be wonderful people.

Oh! How this review has run on. And I have no crit to offer. *sniff* I can only wish you the best of luck for the challenge.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm glad you picked up on the innocence and laughter of Siriius, because this was a joyful happy time for them. I wanted it to be a respite from the war that they knew they were facing. And now I want to cry ... Yes, Lily was a darling... but also quite cheeky ... ha ha. I think she enjoyed pulling the odd prank and she did upset the vicar. MMm, I kinda wish Petunia had found another boyfriend. But I fear Sirius has come into her life far too late. She's lumbered with Vernon. OOH, and btw, Vernon's jacket buttons were because he was fat ... and nothing to do with magic ... I think... possibly. Unless I change my mind in Lions ... ha ha. thanks again ~Carole~

 

The Right One by mgle_teacher
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: The right one isn't always the one we want or think it will be

Pairings: Harry/Pansy; Draco/Hermione; Ron/Luna

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1176 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/17/10 Updated: 06/17/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 08/31/10 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Holy Prongs!

If there is one fanfic writer who could convince me to move over to the non-canon side of the universe, it would be you, Ritta. From Green Tinted Hufflepuff, which, incidentally, was the first fic with an AU setting which I thoroughly enjoyed, to this, I might just be converted.

I think what I loved most about this was that you didn't really destroy the characters either for the sake of humour, or for the sake of non-canon romance. I feel that, too often, fanfic authors gloss over characterisation to make a pairing happen, or to make something funny. This fic proves that you don't have to sacrifice the characters for the sake of either theme.

Really, really enjoyed it. You had me giggling in office.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: LOL -- I am flattered that I'd be able to convert you! XD Thanks for your lovely review! I love writing humor, but as you said, I don't think their character should be destroyed in the process, and I'm glad their personalities still are there =] If anything, I'm thrilled I was able to make you laugh. XD

 

Things Change by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 78]

Summary:

James Potter has changed: no longer an arrogant, irresponsible prankster, he has matured into a responsible Head Boy with tops marks in Transfiguration. Lily Evans has changed as well: normally studious and in control, she has lost focus as she struggles with Head Girl responsibilities and N.E.W.T level studies. An unexpected encounter in the corridors one weekend leads to several startling realizations, the least of which is that things have definitely changed between James Potter and Lily Evans.

This story was nominated for a 2010 QSQ and is now complete.



Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 30679 Chapters: 11 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/07/10 Updated: 11/26/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/07/10 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

HEY! You can't stop here. URGH!

/and I have sworn to stay an update monster until you finish it. Haha!

Author's Response: Of course I'm not stopping here, what gave you that idea? And if you want me to update, then stop making me write you sequels. ;) Just kidding - I really will get to one of them, and finish this one as well! *hugs J/Lsoulmate* Thanks for reading, dear! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 08/28/10 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Well...

I want to be Lily Evans.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Ah, Natalie. Thank you for reading my story! I know you are busy but you are my J/L partner in crime! I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it makes up for my rather upsetting drabbles. ;) And I hope you like the next bit, I'm so excited for it! And then once this story is done I can get going on MORE! Whee! *hugs* Thanks again, dear. ~Gina :)

 

Onions by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Sometimes, Molly needs to cry about something besides her sons.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 826 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/12/10 Updated: 07/12/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: The Smell of the Onions

Hello!

I loved this little piece. :) You wrote Arthur and Molly really well. It was a tragic moment, certainly, as we know how the trio are coping at that moment, and that Fred will ultimately die. But you ended it really well.

Yikes, though, at the house smelling of onions. Lol! Really enjoyed it.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review!

 

Anyway by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: George is suffering from losing Fred, until the one person who understands comes back.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 966 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/10 Updated: 07/20/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: After

OOHH, this was a great take on the relationship between the two pairs. I am still mulling over your epitaph with a bittersweet smile on my face. :)

I dunno if it was intentional on your part, but I felt a few LOTR vibes while reading your stories. Here it was:

That’s got to count for something, doesn’t it?

Which, by the way, I think should be "hasn't it?" :D, reminded me of Pippin telling Gandalf, "But we've got the White Wizard. That has got to count for something."

In Isla's story, it was Bob asking her not to turn him into something "unnatural", which reminded me of Sam asking Gandalf not to.

Okay, I will stop my embarrassing theories here. :D

What I really want to say is, "Great story!"

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks, Natalie. I have never thought of the "Tolkein" vibes, actually, since I haven't opened any of those books in years and the movies just aren't the same.

 

The Good Left Undone by mgle_teacher
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Draco found religion, but Harry can't come to terms with it.

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Categories: Harry/Draco Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Sexual Situations, Slash, Strong Profanity

Word count: 5167 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/25/10 Updated: 07/25/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/01/10 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

HO MY PRONGS!

- Can you tell I’m stalking your author page? –

This was so brilliant! I was in splits in the beginning because of your sharp wit and unflinching sense of humour. Haha! I loved the dialogue, all of it, and Harry being chastised for ogling at Draco’s derriere was just…fantastic.

The narrative style you’ve used here – the “break-and-make” method as I call it (yes, I am a genius *rolls eyes*), is something I favour. I love reading and writing stories which are written in short scenes, and I think you employed it well here. Your gradual retelling of the post-War life of Harry – the return to Hogwarts, the break-up with Ginny, etc. was very effective. It didn’t sound rushed, but unfolded really well.

I think my favourite character here was Draco, although I also loved Harry – as well as Ron and Hermione. I felt bad for him, but he was so true to his Slytherin self. I must say he handled the pressure of being an ex-Death Eater smoothly (though not without hardship).

Oh, I also loved the whole Religion/Homosexuality debate, and how you incorporated it here. That entire paragraph where Draco confesses stirred my resentment against those who use religion as a means of demonizing homosexuality. It was a heartbreaking speech.

I have a few nitpicks:

"He's dating Astoria Greengrass! I saw them leave the Ministry together yesterday"

"Astoria?" scoffed Hermione. "Greengrass is his friend, Harry. They are mutual acquaintances in France"

"They already do, Ron! I can't sneeze without all of Britain knowing"


All these lines have full-stops missing at the end.

I also think “invisibility cloak” should be “Invisibility Cloak”, though…I wonder if it doesn’t begin with capital letters in the American version?

/Beta Mode

I enjoyed reading this story a lot, Ritta! Great job!

~Natalie.

P.S. Uhm…I Googled DMLE and got Disease Mapping Using Linkage Disequilibrium and Death Metal Legion Erzgebirge as results. Thankfully, they had Department of Magical Law Enforcement, too. Slap me. ><

Author's Response: What a lovely review! XD Thank you my dear. I'll fix those grammatical errors. =] I'm glad you enjoyed my writing style - not a lot of people do, but it's my favorite way to write.

 

The Nundus by minnabird
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary:

What's your worst nightmare? Inferi? Werewolves? Dementors? How about a giant, black, panther-like creature whose breath poisons the very air you breathe?

Nominated for Best Poem in the 2011 Quicksilver Quill awards.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 114 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/02/10 Updated: 08/03/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Nundus

I love this poem, Minna, and it astounds me that it has only one review. What in the name of Morgana?

The first thing that gripped – yes, gripped - my attention was the title. Nundu? When I first read about them, I was scared. They are just so lethal. However, I’d never consider writing a poem on them, less still a VILLANELLE! D: How do you guys handle with that villainy?

Anyway, getting on with ‘srs bzns’. The poem flows very well – I tried reading it out (quietly), and it has a nice rhythm to it. You definitely chose the best lines for the repetitions. Also, the words – clinging, stinging, bringing, etc. – created a chanting in my head so that I was swept along with the poem. As far as structure is concerned, I think it is a brilliant poem.

Moving on to the mood, the poem has a very dramatic feel. In my head, I could see a vivid picture of an African village, where the people are hiding and crouching in fear as the shadow of the beast looms large. It is almost like somebody is asking these questions as he or she waits for the inevitable death. You managed to portray the fear associated with the deadly Nundu very, very well; it is effectively captured, especially in the lines below:

From the noxious breath that's flinging
From the throats of beasts - their guise:

Teeth flash white and fear is singing,
Burning in our lungs and thighs,


Excellent work, Minna! Original and wonderful to read. May I request one on Lethifolds? :)

Happy Birthday!

~Natalie

Author's Response:

Hey, Natalie, thanks so much for the review.

 On Nundus and writing a villanelle about them - honestly, when I learned about them I was told "a villanelle is a nightmare" and I wanted to write a villanelle, and I wanted to try my hand at Potterverse poetry, so I thought "Potterverse nightmare" and my first thought was Nundus. God, they sound horrific. I remember vividly playing an imaginary game once where we were attacked by Nundus - I think I was half scared for real even though we were pretending. xD

As for the comments on structure and mood: I can only say thanks, and blush quite a lot. I'm not especially experienced with poetry so I'm even more nervous about it than prose.  I did want to create that fear and feeling of looming death, and I'm glad I accomplished that. =)

Again, thanks, Nat!

Minna

 

The Seven Potters by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: Past Featured StoryHarry is about to leave the Burrow for the final time when his six doppelgangers give him something to think about. Set during book seven and based on the chapter of the same name, but having little to do with it, really.
Winner, Quicksilver Quill award for Best Humour story.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 1888 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/09/10 Updated: 08/09/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 08/15/10 Title: Chapter 1: The Seven Potters

Gina!



I have been holding off reading this because I wanted to 'make' time for it. :D And I'm glad I did because this is so clever and funny. I loved it when Harry said he was leaving some baggage behind because (a) that meant he was maturing as a person, and (b) it also tied in nicely with JKR robbing Harry's childhood.



All the versions were nicely done, but I think my favourite was SuperHarry. Sounds like an offspring of Minerva McGonagall and Gilderoy Lockhart.



Speaking of Lockhart, when are you putting the Snapehart up here? It suffered my Snames boldly; I am pretty sure it will be able to endure that. Hehe.



***Also. This is my 100th review. ***



~Natalie.

Author's Response: Natalie! I'm glad you did come to read this, I'm sort of proud of actually being able to pull off something clever. And thank you for the great review. So you like SuperHarry, huh? I think I like AngstyHarry, for some reason. Maybe because he can't spell, lol. Ah, this was fun to figure out and write. I'm so glad you liked it. But I really hope no one sees your note about Snapehart! EEK! That is so not going up here. . . unless you pass me on the list, of course. Then the big guns come out, LOL! *hugs* Thanks again! ~Gina :)

 

Seedling by the fetal positon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Past Featured StoryDuring the bitter weeks of December 1935, young Tom Riddle found shelter in a hidden alcove and in a strange boy who surprisingly liked him. The boy was compassionate, curious, and far too optimistic, and he had unexpectedly shown up on the street one cold day when Tom was feeling lonely. His name was Harry, and if Tom could ever call someone a friend, it would have to be him.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 8892 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/18/10 Updated: 08/21/10


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 09/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: Seedling

Hello Kelsey!

(You can tell I stalked your author page.)

I really, really loved this one-shot, and I am shocked that you haven't got more reviews than 2. Well, 3, counting mine. It seriously deserves more.

I don't even know where to begin this review. You nailed everything so well. I was hooked till the end. This story had suspense, humour, wit and drama. Can I also gush about how fluidly you write? I love your description and dialogues - they read so easily, and yet, beautifully.

But what I loved most was your characterisation of Tom. It was brilliant! I daresay I tend to think of Tom as being inherently evil, even though I am aware of how unfair such a conclusion is. But your fic made me rethink. Sure, he is still a morbid and violent kid, but I must remember that he was, after all, ostracised, too.

Can I ask you something? What inspired you to write this? Why Harry? This is the first time I am directly addressing an author in my review, but I am so impressed and intrigued.

Really fantastic story!

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Hello Natalie! This is seriously one of the greatest reviews Ive ever received it made my day! So thank you very, very much for taking the time to read my monster of a one-shot, and leaving your thoughts! Im glad it hooked you until the end whenever I reread it (which I do often, just to nit-pick) I tend to worry that it drags on for ever, so its a relief that you didnt get bored! To be honest, I dont really know what inspired me. I keep a log of random ideas I have, and one of them was Tom having a friend who turns out to be his imagination (though as I was writing Seedling, I decided to leave that part ambiguous). I randomly became really interested in Tom he is one of the most intriguing characters, in my opinion, and I just love stories involving him and Harry (slash or not). I just think they contrast each other well. Not to mention they are my two favourite characters. ;) The movie Donnie Darko might also have had something to do with it, but I cant remember if I saw it before I wrote the story. Again, thank you very much for your lovely review! Kels

 

Taking Direction by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 115]

Summary: What if the characters in the Harry Potter films were portrayed”not by actors”but by the book versions of themselves, as created by Rowling? How might things unfold on that set? What would the characters think of the changes made from the stories they’d already lived out… to the ones written for the script?

This fic is a series of one-shots, posted as chapters, each from the perspective of a different character who is dealing with the changes occurring between the book and the script.

 

Holy Movie Canon, Batman! This fic won the 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Chaptered Humor Story. Thanks so, so much!

 



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 5896 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
08/23/10 Updated: 02/06/13


Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 01/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Jazz Hands

AHAHA! This just continues to be amazing! It's like a lot of my anger has been exorcised. :D Keep writing, Lori!

~Natalie

P.S. I have no crit to offer, lol.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you think it works, Natalie. And exorcising anger... added bonus! Thanks a million, friend.

 
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 10/06/10 Title: Chapter 2: Babe Magnet

HAHAHAHA!

Take that, Yates!

This is brilliant, Lori. Simply brilliant. I can't WAIT to see how you tackle the unnecessary Harmony dance.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: I'm thinking about how to write that dance already, but I'm not seeing much humor at this point. Poor Ron. :( As for this, I'm glad you thought it worked! Thanks, as always, for the review!

 
Reviewer: hestiajones Signed
Date: 03/30/12 Title: Chapter 1: Jazz Hands

Gr8!

Author's Response: Very articulate!!! :) But hey, at least my numbers changed! <3 you, hestiajones!

 
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