Hello! I'm Julia and when I'm not cavorting with elves in Middle Earth, I'm a moderator for this archive, among other things.
Poetry, Anyone? I am the resident Poet Laureate over on the Beta Boards as leader of this fun little group. We have monthly challenges all with a Harry Potter twist. You can also find solid and comprehensive critique for any poems and help for all your archive-based concerns.
Susan Bones Book Club. I am the leader of this fun little group. Each month the SBBC chooses two to three fics from the archives to discuss. We also have monthly drabble activities and an incredibly lively chat thread. We accept new members at all times so if you're interested go and take a look. It's open to all members of the beta boards. If you have any questions or concerns then don't hesitate to PM me.
There is some lovely imagery in this poem. The golden dawn spilling into the Great Hall is such a picture of hope and joy which I think you captured really well. What really stood out to me was the third line, though.
Three words in all, but a world hanging in the balance.
That is really powerful. I love it.
I think you could work on the punctuation, perhaps. Instead of using a full stop at the end of each line, the flow could be improved by using comma's (or nothing at all) because the full stops make it a bit choppy. The repetition of the word "of" at the beginning of the lines gives each line a certain amount of emphasis in itself, so I don't think the full stops are necessary if you were going for a more blunt impact.
Hopefully that was helpful :) I think you've got great bones here, just tweaking the punctuation (something I struggle with in my own poems) could take it to another level.
OH LOL. I... cannot stop laughing. Brilliant, as expected, from the two of you. I loved how it felt so fluid, the whole way through. It wasn't choppy and the style was consistent. Just... absolutely hilarious. SnapeHart all the way xDDD
Author's Response: Ohh, thank you for the comment on the flow and style. I think that's what we were most worried about. I think Snape!Hart is the only way to go ... ~Carole and Gina~
That was so freaking cute I can't even stop smiling. I admit that I felt like yelling at Hermione to shut up and let him propose xD Everything was just SO RON/HERMIONE. You caught their banter brilliantly. Squeee. Okay, breathe, this is definitely one of my all time favourite R/H proposal fics now. What a perfect gift for Lori :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Julia! I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad I captured their banter, since I'm much more used to my own OTP. ;) It was fun to write Ron and Hermione for a change. I need to keep working on my other R/H story. Maybe I'll watch DH again for some inspiration. Thanks so much for the review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)
Oh Natalie. That was... just beautiful. Just beautiful. You have left me speechless, to be honest. Why does this only have three reviews?!?! It's a crime!
The way you built up the tension and sustained it was so well done. I thought you were going to kill Scorpius there for a bit. I'm not sure what aspect of this fic is my favourite because there are so many poignant layers. Hugo's characterisation was wonderful as was Draco's. They felt so... right. And the passive tension between them in the waiting room was almost tangible.
I can really appreciate the way you wrote the numb, blind, restless panic that Hugo goes through. It was so realistic that my heart just ached for him and the Malfoy's. That waiting, it's the hardest thing, and you wrote it so well and sincerely.
Hugo's conversation with Rosemary was also very sweet and the way you slowly revealed more and more about who she was felt truly magical. I loved the way you interwove different seams of the fic together. It flowed so well and kept me completely enthralled until the very end.
And the ending was just so poignant and touching. It really tied everything together with this simple yet profound conclusion. Basically, this is one of the best things you've written, and one of the most moving and touching fics on the site. I'm so glad I read this and I'm kicking myself for not reading it sooner. Absolutely beautiful.
Author's Response: The story left you speechless? SCORE!
You wrote it!!! Shizzle, Carole, I'm kind of, sort of, REALLY in love with this fic and I'm so sad it's only two chapters. I've re-read it three times already! You seem so adept at capturing that delicious sexual tension without making it in-your-face. You did it with Lavender/Blaise and here it is again. Gahhhh. Your Penelope is very interesting and I can't wait to see more of her when you update. Hehe I'm curious about my appearance. I have an inkling (if it's even in this chapter...).
Author's Response: Thank you, Juliaaaaa. Yeah, since you suggested this pairing, I've been mulling it over for months. Charlie never seems to have any fun when he probably has far more opportunity away from Molly's grasp - LOL. Next Chapter should be up very soon. ~Carole~
YAY! Loved the dragon breed you chose, Carole. Very nice XD Anyway, guhhh this fic was just fabulous. Everything about it drew me in and kept me wanting more. Your characterisation was great, and I loved how you shaped Penelope into someone so real and, well, canon. The way you described the break down of her relationship with Percy is exactly how I imagined it to be. Also, I rather enjoyed the sexy times xD Great fic, Carole. I'll definitely be adding this one to my favourites!
Author's Response: I wonder why I chose that dragon ... Thank you so much for the review. i think i love Charlope far too much to be healthy. I might have to write more. ~Carole~
Hufflepuff Albus Potter was a firm believer that it was a fact of nature and a rite of passage to torment one's sibling. And who better than his nerdy, Ravenclaw little sister? Her messy hair and stupid pile of books... she so had it coming.
But Lily had other ideas.
Heyyyyyy. I have to say this was A LOT of fun to read. I loved the dynamic you set up between Albus and Lily. It was very sibling-esque hahaha. I also liked that neither Albus or Lily were in Gryffindor. The way you built up their characters fit well into Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Anyway, great fic! And congrats on getting it in on time xDDD
Our apologies for the lateness, but thank you, Jules, both for your assistance via AIM and enjoying our little tale. What we wanted was something that could have easily slid into canon and change the dynamic from a James/Albus sibling rivalry to the less heralded Al/Lily one.
Thank you much for the review!
~Jess and Olivia
Sexyyyyy. I'm sure I've read this before but I can't for the life of me think why I never left you a review! This is wonderful and hot and bittersweet and beautiful and just love. And I loved the little details, like Lily remembering her first time, the awkwardness and... inadequacy of the boy :P You're a star, Lafonna.
Author's Response: Hello there!
This may be cheesy but it's still sweet and made me smile despite the fact I'm not usually one to read James/Lily fics all that often!
Carole has already mentioned punctuation so I won't touch on that. Instead I'll focus on rhythm and flow. It's hard to keep consistent rhythm when you're not following a traditional poetic structure like that of a sonnet so well done. I think you did I good job of finding words to rhyme :) But perhaps, next time, try to keep consistent rhythm. Some lines are a bit too wordy compared to the rest of the stanza and others are a bit too short. Perhaps, before you start writing, give yourself a rhythm scheme such as a certain number of syllables per line. It will help you keep focus and the end result will be a poem that has better flow.
I hope this helps! Well done on writing something sweet yet not too cheesy. It was fun to read :)
I remember loving this poem in the challenge, Carole. I thought you captured the atmosphere (along with the more technical aspects) of The Soldier. It's beautifully heartbreaking yet subtle and not overwrought with emotion. Not to mention you were able to incorporate the compulsory words seamlessly. Seriously, the flow and rhythm in this poem is wonderful. It's a delight to read aloud.
I also really like the way you flipped the setting of the poem. I'm not sure if that was intentional when you first set out to write it but I think it was a great touch. It also gives a beautiful look at Fleur and her relationship with Gabrielle, which I've always been fond of, as a younger sister, myself.
I could quote this entire poem but these lines particularly touched me:
Warmed in yellow sun; dying far from home.
The contrast between the two fragments is very powerful.
You know I love the war poets so this was a real gem to see in the challenge. It is beautiful. You're a wonderful poet, Carole :)
Author's Response: I've delayed replying to this because I was gobsmacked with your review and know the response won;t do it justice. However ... I must now grasp the nettle, so to speak, because ... um ... I've left it too long. Firstly, thank you so very much for the review, it really means a great deal from you because your poetry is so good and both you and your amazing challenges inspire me. Secondly, this was the reason I gasped or gaped or went a bit mad on ls a while ago. hee hee - I was flailing.
Okay, flipping the setting of the poem was deliberate, as in, when I knew I wanted to write a copy of Forever England, I knew I wanted to write Fleur because she was in a foreign land and fighting for something she didn't have a great deal of connection to. The connection between the sisters was also something I had in mind because it is the very first thing we see about Fleur that makes us warm to her and adds to her humanity.
Thank you very much again. ~Croll~
Hey, Gina! This is another great chapter XD The mystery aspect is so intriguing! And did Kate just notice the dark shape or does she actually know more? And who/what is it, anyway???
I just found one nitpick xD The Polish side of me had to point this out since it's quite a common mistake for people to pluralise a Slavic word which is already plural.
He found a plate of stale kolachys and a several varieties of vodka...
Kolachy is plural, so you don't need to add an extra "s". The singular version would be Kolach.
At first I was a little confused as to why the Australian MoM wasn't in the capital, but I guess Sydney is the most populated city so it makes sense that it could be centred there. Or perhaps they have multiple MoM departments in different cities.
And I'm so glad that this is going to be an ongoing story. You've set up a really interesting premise and I'm so excited to see where it goes!
Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review, Julia! And for the the great help with little Australian details. If the only nitpick you had was kolachy/kolachys I'm thrilled, and I've fixed it even if I don't entirely understand it, lol. And your point about the Australian MpM is a good one, but it just never occurred to me to put it in the smaller capital instead of the much larger Sydney- the story was always set in Sydney, and to be honest, I need the MoM to be there. Ah well! I can't answer your questions but I will send you the next part soon! Thanks so much for your help and for the great review. They are inspiring and make me want to finish fast! ~Gina :)
Hermione! Stop being such a silly sausage and say YES! Lol, Gina, you have me completely hooked xD Can't wait for the next installment!
Author's Response: A belated thanks, Julia. But of course she can't say yes, there wouldn't be anymore story and you couldn't help me with all things Australian! Thanks again for your help and for the review! ~Gina :)
The darkness looms the harshest before dawn, but light will always cross lines drawn in the sand.
This is the story of the battle of Hogwarts.
This poem has been nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.
This poem has also been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.
Jess, this is amazing! The narrative fits the metre superbly. It's so natural and unforced and just wonderful! I don't really know what else to say but how much I love this. I really hope that they record some poetry when Audiofics starts up again because a poem like this is perfect to be read aloud.
You shouldn't doubt your poetry so much, Jess!
I don't know why, but I think I find structured poetry easier than free verse slash non-rhyming things. It fits my OCD-ness, especially when the rhythm actually is able to drive the storyline.
Anyway, I'm prolly being nonsensical, but I love that you love the poem. Thanks for the visit, dear.
I'm finally here to leave a review, Lafonna. For a while I couldn't bring myself to read chapter three because I had this feeling of how it was going to pan out and I wanted to hold onto Theo and Parvati for a little longer.
This is beautiful. Heart-breaking and beautiful. I loved how you captured both Theo and the Healer's voices and the way you alternated between them. When I read your early draft I could tell that with expansion it would be something incredibly different and fresh. The juxtaposition between the somewhat cold and sterile voice of the Healer and Theo is amazing. I love it! I’ve always been fascinated with the differences between Muggle and Magical medicine (what a surprise, eh?) so I really enjoyed the way you portrayed that.
The end of the first chapter just made me melt. It was so beautifully written and felt rather dreamy. I had a very abstract visual yellows and white light as I read that.
As I said before, I had a feeling about how this would end. Once I finished the last chapter and looked back, I loved seeing all the allusions to what was really going on in the fic. You crafted everything so well. It’s like a combination of a mystery and a character study. Sighhhhhhh. Really, this has left me a little overwhelmed, to be honest.
You are so very talented, Natalie. This was absolutely gorgeous.
Author's Response: Greenleaf!
I'm intrigued! You've got an interesting start here and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. Hermione's guilt at what the Weasley's have given up for her, and the way she wants to leave them in order to spare them even more horror was definitely in character. I'm also looking forward to seeing how you build the relationship between Draco and Hermione. This is also wonderfully written. You kept me glued to the screen for both chapters!
Just one tiny nit-pick. There is a typo in your summary. It says Voldermort and not Voldemort. I also think I noticed the same typo somewhere in the first chapter. It doesn't hinder the reading experience at all but I thought I'd point it out anyway :)
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep up the great writing.
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the summary, girl! Gosh - how embarrassing. I'm clearly not good with my own editing, and was hoping to hide that. Bummer. ;) I'm working with a beta, but I didn't send her the summary, and you wouldn't believe how many times I used 'Voldermort'! I was cringing when she sent me back the first edits of my chapters, lol. I appreciate the keen eye and will be going over the chapter to fix those little things. And thanks for reading! I appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think. :) LCailan
Sighhhh. This is so sad, Gina. You made me tear up. The way you moved through Sirius' emotions in this piece is so poignant and fluid, I can't even begin to explain how moving it was... Just beautiful, Gina. Beautiful.
Author's Response: Thank you so much Julia! And thank you for the nomination as well! Occasionally I can turn out some decently pretty prose, I guess, lol. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for reading and for the amazing review (and nomination!) ~Gina :)
Oh wow this chapter really sent shivers down my spine. The scene with Meleia and her father in the forest was so chilling.
I can't believe this has no reviews! I will have to fix that :) Anyway, what an intriguing start! The premise, the characters... everything was so compelling. I must admit that I've always been quite interested in the vampires of the Potterverse. I loved the way you explained vampirism and how Nicolae was 'cursed' by magic instead of being bitten. It felt like it had a place in the world Rowling created.
All the characters felt very distinct as well. The mother and father and Meleia, they all stood out as individuals, through their actions and not just through words. I usually avoid OC centric fics but I'm looking forward to reading more about Meleia.
Anyway, well done! I'll stop now so I can go and read the next chapter. And I hope you get some more reads and reviews. You deserve them.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! The fic hasn't been up for very long yet so I'm thrilled with the positive reception so far. I'm glad you enjoy Meleia, she's one of my favourite characters of all the ones I've written, fanfic or otherwise. I'll do my best to keep the standard high for upcoming chapters!
Okay, I've finally managed to read this. SIGH OF RELIEF. I really wanted to read it while on a study break and I nearly cried when I couldn't get through the stupid 6th-7th rating glitch. Actually, I'm fairly sure that some tears did fall. Anyway.
Awwwwwwww this chapter was so much fun to read. I love Weasley family quidditch scenes hehe. I liked the playfully competitive dynamic you set up and the thought of the guys sitting around with a few beers between games was... nice. That word seems so inadequate! I guess what I mean is that I really liked that particular scene. It stood out to me for some reason. I had this very vivid image of them lounging around on the grass in the shade.
Draco and Scorpius's conversation was so well done. I loved the way Draco was trying to manipulate Scorpius into coming home. It was very in character and such a Slytherin thing to do. And the way he just finds it so hard to understand what Scorpius wants fits him so well.
I can't believe this is the penultimate chapter! *cries* I'm not sure I want the next chapter so soon, either... it's like Lavender Blue all over again.
Author's Response: I knowwwwww. Idon;t want to finish it ... so I'm not going to. I shall leave it hanging forever more. (like everything else - eeeep). Nah, I will write the last chapter. I know what will happen, and who will get killed in the massacre - ooops, tmi tmi.
Julia, thank you so much for the review. Fair warmed the cockles of me 'eart, it did. I had that scene of the men sitting around drinking beer in my head foir a long time, so I'm glad it worked well for you. It was just supposed to show the ... normality, I suppose, of the Weasley family and how unformal they are. Plus it gave Ron and George some banter time - heh heh.
Thanks again ~Carole~
I think I'm in love with Teddy Lupin.
Author's Response: I think there's a queue.