I liked that very much. It was very nice, sort of relieving.
I REALLY like how you had George. Though still mourning, and it seems not QUITE having the fact that Fred's dead completely hit home, still determined, letting Harry know it wasn't his fault, and singing Fred's praises and rejoicing in the fact that Percy was back.
I like the idea of the Order of Merlin for all of the fighters, I think it's very suitable and well earned :)
There are a couple of little nitpicks, but just spelling and grammar errors, such as 'Ron gaped at her, both shocked at gleeful.' I would guess it should be 'shocked AND gleeful.'
Donny! So great, very cute.
I think you did a great job characterising the trio, which is good, because they can be tough. nice job!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I first wrote this days after I read Deathly Hallows - I guess you could say it was a bit of a cathartic experience for me. So in that sense, I'm glad it was relieving for you too. And thanks for pointing out that spelling/grammar error - I'll fix it up as soon as I can!
Wow, I really enjoyed reading this. I went into not knowing exactly how it would be, but I thought your characterization is close to spot-on. I really liked how you had Ginny react to Fred, how actually you had all of the Weasley's written. I noticed a small technical error, I'm pretty sure the furnunculus curse and jelly legs jinx should both be capitalized.
But once again, I love your characterization, and am eager to see what you have in store for the other three :)
Wow! That's all I can really say to this. I really enjoyed the switch between flashback and present, and I REALLY like your Marauder interaction. I think your characterization was wonderful in this, including characters like Dumbledore, who are very difficult to get right. Very good, and I think one of your best yet.
Author's Response: And another Wow for such an amazing review! Thank you so much!! I'm always so glad when someone things I've got the characters right, since with so many of them we start to build our own versions in our head based on JKR but still a little bit our own. Thank you for that. I love writing the Marauders for some reason so I'm glad you enjoyed them here. Thank you so much for reading this and for the wonderful review, I really appreciate it and am grinning ear to ear! ~Gina :)
I had read this earlier but hadn't remembered to review until now.
I think that it is so perfect that you did Arthur. I of course first thought it was George at first and as I went on, it just seemed a little off for him, but there are so many different ways authors portray him after the war that I ignored it, but then I read the last line and my heart just about broke. It's so easy to forget how Fred's death would affect everyone else as well, and this portrayal of a father mourning the death of his son is just heart-breaking. It's just so depressing to see Arthur Weasley so lost, but I think you did an excellent job on this.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! Which feels ironic, given that this is very sad, lol. But I did want readers to think it was George, and then left a few clues here and there so it wasn't a complete surprise at the end, so I'm glad that came out. I actually think Arthur would be much stronger for his family, but it was interesting to explore a much sadder way of him dealing with Fred's death. Thank you again for the review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
This is crazy717 (Abi) of Gryffindor house writing for the final in the MWPP class on the Beta Boards.
Hi Abi! "The way she had looked at him when he told her to join the Dark Lord had been one of utter loathing. That had hurt him in a way no words ever could. Lily loved Potter, and she was happy when she was with him. All he had ever wanted was for Lily to be happy, but that didn't stop him for hating the object of her affection with every fibre of his being."
I think that may have been one of my favorite lines, it seemed just so right for Snape. He's a very contradicting character, in a way. He loves Lily like no one else, yet believes she would be impressed by him being in the Dark Arts, and in wanting her to be happy, he doesn't want it if James has anything to do with it. You really captured that in that paragraph.
I think you did a good job characterizing Lily in that second to last part. The way she thinks of the end of her friendship with Snape and the way she handles the situation when he bothers them seems very true to her character.
Good for you for writing a Sorting Hat song! The pace was a little bit off at points, but still, pretty good :)
And it's a great idea to start the story out with their first day of Hogwarts and ending with their last, very bittersweet.
Author's Response: Thank you Annie =) I found it really difficult writing the Sorting Hat, both the song and their actual sortings. Thank you for the lovely review, ~Abi~
Gahh Maple this is so good! I love the idea of it. And also what I love as Gina mentioned, it really does have an even bigger impact as you think of it relating to wars and such in the real world. It's sad, but hopeful. You've captured it beautifully. I love the idea of the monument, it feels like something that would most definitely be there. It's very sad to think of people not knowing Colin.... :( But I can't really picture Harry wanting to go into every detail about it so it makes sense for them not to know. Just lovely, and I love the hopeful ending. -Annie
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Annie! I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and found it both hopeful and a good thing to think about :) Maple
Nobody talked about it, of course. It was a secret. But everyone knew that one day, it would happen to them, and Neville is no exception to the rule.
This story is second in my Long Way Down continuity.
Eternal thanks to my beta Soraya. :D
Wow, this story was so well-written and intense, fantastic job writing it. Neville slowly losing his mind in there, even I'm not really sure what was real and what wasn't, and you nailed his character as well. This left me really on edge, and even though while reading I felt disgusted and horrified, I had to keep going. Eerily disturbing, but I assure you in a brilliantly written way that left me thinking at the end. I would most certainly hope that that sort of training was not allowed at the Ministry, or any other place for that matter :) Excellent piece.
Wow, I had just uploaded a story and came SO close to naming it Discovery, before just having that be the name of the chapter instead.
But on the actual subject of your poem, just lovely. I think the first stanza is my favorite, the last line of it just seems so sweet and innocent. Beautiful as always :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it and really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)
Oh wow, I really really liked that. Particularly the second section. The first section was great as well, just very cringe-worthy at parts. (As in I felt embarrassed for the characters, not that your writing made me cringe :) ) Noo bad Remus, you'll regret that very much in the morning! But Lily is such a sweet friend.
"I know, but I need you to do something else for me, Moony." He pauses, his face so serious, so sincere. "I need you to live."
. . . . .
"Nothing is going to happen to you," I repeat numbly, willing it to be true.
I really REALLY enjoyed that whole section. It seemed so real, and honest the way you wrote it. It just makes it so distressing to read, James' fear. Because of course something does happen, and the rest of the Marauders' lives are (for the most part) just filled with such awfulness. Gah, this is just so sad it's killing me. At least Remus was around later to help Harry when he needed it :(
But anyway, great great piece.
Author's Response: Hi Annie! Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate all your comments. I sort of laughed about you cringing through the first part, but I can totally see that. Yes, it was a bit foolish of Remus. I think the original drabble was written for a prompt about Lily being kind to him, and that's what popped up: he kissed her in a drunken stupor, and she was still so supportive and kind. I added the second part recently. The Marauder's story is just so sad, sometimes I don't know why I keep writing it, only it's fascinating as well, and filled with both tragedy and deep love. We know Sirius didn't trust Remus from PoA, but I'd like to think James did. And maybe someday we'll learn from JKR herself just how Peter was able to fool them all. :P Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)
As soon as I saw your author name and 'Marauders' I knew I had to read, and glad I did :) I think you really have a great handle on each of the Marauders. I particularly liked Sirius's section, it just seemed so rightly Sirius, the way his anger built up and the way that he saw his parents so out of the picture, but still had that small hope that Regulus might still be there for him. And Remus's line about how James can get a date with Lily, but Remus would always be a werewolf, so bitter and well-said, and so sad. Poor Remus. And poor Peter as well... Great job with this piece!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Annie! I'm glad you stopped to read it and that you were not disappointed. And I am SO glad you liked Sirius's section, because what I had originally planned for him didn't work out (stupid DH canon doublecheck *grumble*) so I was worried it might not pull together - his feelings, his actions, and tying his vision in the mirror to it. I agree about Remus, I felt rather bad for his bit, but what else might he see? Companionship, perhaps, especially later on, but at that moment, I think that's what he'd see and how he'd react--and I think he'd come to terms with it. And in some ways, I'll agree with the poor Peter as well. I do think it might have been hard being him...to a point. Then I have no sympathy for the traitor. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)
I really think you did a great job with this. I find that Ron and Hermione's relationship is very difficult to write, however you've done so brilliantly. They felt very much in character, and were very fun to read. I think this was a lovely idea for a story. Poor Ron forgetting the Floo powder, they're very much the same from when they were in Hogwarts :) Anyway, very funny and very sweet, great piece overall :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I like to think they all stayed the almost same after Hogwarts.
Harry waits for someone to meet him at Godric's Hollow on Christmas Eve. This is a story about growing up, moving on and remembering your past without taking it with you.
H/Hr friendship with a bit of H/G
Oh wow, that was very sweet, though very sad. Some lines were particularly heart-breaking, such as Teddy's, why only his parents were in the ground. You did a great job with the Hermione/Harry friendship as well, showing the reliability they had on each other.
Fantastic bittersweet piece overall, though I was a bit confused with the last two paragraphs. My assumption is that Harry took Ginny, but wouldn't they still see Hermione if they visited the house? Unless they just went to the graveyard that is. Or unless I'm completely wrong and Harry was somewhere else?
Anyway, I really think you nailed Harry, and all of the relationships you showed in this. Great job :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Harry stayed home and went with Ginny on a completely different day because I think he'd see going on Christmas Eve would be encroaching on the memories he has with Hermione. I can see why you were confused though. Sorry for not making it clear. Harry is my writing nemesis so I'm glad you think he was in character :)
I actually enjoyed that a lot more than I expected! You had me chuckling, and the poem flowed brilliantly. Great piece.
Author's Response: Hello Ascendio, the title is a bit macabre, so I can fully understand any trepidation in clicking on the title. If someone else had written this and I stumbled on it while browsing, I think I'd probably give it a miss ... So I'm glad you didn't! And I'm even gladder it made you chuckle :o) Thanks for R & R-ing, Kara's Aunty ;)
I really enjoyed this poem, at first I was afraid the parenthesis every other line might get over-bearing but you actually used them to a lovely effect. I particularly love the lines
"How tiny she is
(just a child).
Lain in a simple bed
(no, her coffin);"
but I do love the poem overall as well. Albus I'm guessing? :)
Author's Response: Yes, it is Albus! I'm am so ecstatic so receive your review! Thank you for your great words and I'm glad that you loved the poem! :)