Penname: The Lark Dord [Contact]
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Summary: What if Ginny hadn't been there after Harry won his Quidditch game? In his euphoria, Harry would have fallen for someone else, of course. And who could that be but the beautiful foreign exchange student, Mary-Sue!

A Mary Sue parody!

Warning: Extreme OOCness follows. All of the warnings this fic has are based on not-to-be-taken-seriously situations!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Student/Teacher Romance

Word count: 8841 Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/28/06 Updated: 06/05/07


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/21/09 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8: The Final Battle

HAHA! I loved seeing Dumbledore drunk :D

 

The Funnier One by yanagi_yuna
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 56]

Summary: Fred and George Weasley are bored, now that their brother's wedding is over, nothing is worth staying. But when Mr. Weasley brings in another Muggle artifact called, Computer, and the twins learns to operate it, things are about to get interesting.

But once they managed to "hack" in the site called Mugglenet, the issue of who's the funniest came up, they decided to battle it out.



Once the results is up, things are about to get dirty.






Author's notes: I have fixed this fic: verb tenses and all. Thank you to those who made reviews and comments, you made me realize my mistakes, now I fixed it.. I am still waiting for a beta for my next fic but I don't think it will take too long. *throws confetti*







Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2377 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/02/07 Updated: 06/10/07


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/21/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Funnier One

HAHA! Love this fic.

 

Broom Cupboard Confessions by cto10121
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 67]

Summary: Harry Potter learns how his parents got together...in the most unexpected way. Can't say anymore for fear of giving too much away. A bit of AU, ( all right, I'll admit it, a lot) and the sexual situations warnings for a little bit of kissing. The rating is for sexual innuendos. R&R!!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations

Word count: 3144 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/27/07 Updated: 07/12/07


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/21/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two-Accidentally Together?

Haha! NIce story!

 

Summary: Ever wondered why Florean Fortescue was taken by the Death Eaters?

Lord Voldemort is on the quest to find the best, evilest flavour of ice cream, and he will stop at nothing to get it.

This is a very short, very silly and quite OOC little one-shot written as consolation for the fact that "E-Journal" is on hiatus. It's based on a prompt given to me by the ridiculously talented Inigoenigma.

Nominated for Best Humour fic in the Quicksilver Quills awards!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1504 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/30/07 Updated: 07/06/07


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/21/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only!

HAHAHA! I absolutely love voldy humour fan fics.
There's Voldemort hearts Chudely, A Flying Lesson (really funny that was) and this :D

Author's Response: That's the greatest username ever! And... A Flying Lesson is by far one of my favorite fanfictions. Haven't read the other one yet, though-- I really should.

 

The Flying Lesson by Hypatia
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 49]

Summary: The Dark Lord pays Professor Snape a late night visit, with the intention of teaching Snape to fly.

Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Best Humor Story!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1618 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/14/07 Updated: 08/30/07


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/21/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Flying Lesson

HAHA! I love Voldemort humour fics :D
"Voldemort Hearts Chudley" is also another good one.
Loved the "You're just jelous because I have hair"

 

''OBLIVIATE!'' by Tim the Enchanter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 18]

Summary: "That was no hurricane," said Fudge miserably.

"Excuse me!" barked the Prime Minister, now positively stamping up and down. "Trees uprooted, roofs ripped off, lampposts bent, horrible injuries-"

"It was the Death Eaters," said Fudge. "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's followers. And... and we suspect giant involvement."


- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter One: The Other Minister

Sergeant Archer Price lives a rather humdrum existence at his Army base in Somerset, in the West Country. However, all of that changes when he and his unit are summoned to respond to a very strange and violent… hurricane?

But freak hurricanes are only the beginning of Archer’s problems, for soon his life gets very complicated…


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 16553 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
12/13/07 Updated: 04/05/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 06/02/09 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter IV: A Warm Welcome

Great story, but I think its a bit sad Roger dies, and it's going to be a problem...
I mean, they'd think he murdered him or something...well true, there would be no evidence, but nice cliffy
I'd been hooked during Chapter 3 and I think this is a wonderful chapter :D
Hmm, I did get excited during the army testing bit for some reason...again, I'm a weapons freak XD

Author's Response:

Hurrah – a fellow weapons freak! Thanks for reading and reviewing this story, Mr Dord. Also, thanks for reminding me that this story exists! I haven’t updated in a year, I think…

~ Tim the Enchanter

 

Out of the Darkness by Tim the Enchanter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 44]

Summary: The war against Voldemort is not going well. The Ministry of Magic has fallen and the Order of the Phoenix is scattered. Harry Potter and his friends are ruthlessly hunted by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. There is no end in sight for our heroes…

BUT SUDDENLY, OUT OF THE DARKNESS, ABSURDITY INTERVENES!

-

Nominated for QSQ 2008 Best Humour Story!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 13978 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/07/08 Updated: 07/24/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 06/02/09 Title: Chapter 1: Out of the Darkness...

Awesome story! I really think you should do the THIS IS HOGWARTS! – A Stupid Crossover Parody idea.
The end was a bit depressing, but fantastic writing! I absolutely loved the Absurd fanfic revolution...
I liked the Ben Dover scene (in Rita's scene).
The end was a bit depressing, but great story! ;-)

Author's Response:

I’m glad the story of Benjamin Dover has met your approval, so thanks for reading and enjoying my writing! Concerning THIS IS HOGWARTS!, I finished that story about a year ago, but it never made it onto MNFF because it was still a crossover, despite the fact that it was a parody of them. However, do not fear! You can read it on fanfiction.net if you like.

~ Tim the Enchanter

 

Luna's Truth or Dare by Hutchinson
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 523]

Summary: What happens when Luna challenges her friends to a game of Truth or Dare?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 28986 Chapters: 14 Completed: No
Published:
01/23/08 Updated: 01/14/09


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: Let the Game Begin

I LOVE it!
Can't wait for the new chapter. "Overanxious embrace" LOL.
Great humour fic :D

Author's Response: Thanks! And what's humour without a little romance thrown in?

 

The Dark Lord's Letter by Scheherazade
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 41]

Summary: What's a Dark Lord to do when things don't go your way? Write a letter and complain to the author, of course.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 1304 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/02/08 Updated: 02/20/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Dark Lord's Letter

Ha!!!
I had my alt key stuck for 10 minutes : but nice story!

 

Summary: The Ministry has fallen.

Under the new regime, there is a chamber in the depths of the Ministry of Magic that the condemned enter, but do not leave. This is the story of a man about to die.

Or is he? Fate is a fickle thing…


Nominated for QSQ 2009, Best Dark/Angst.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1959 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/02/08 Updated: 02/03/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/17/09 Title: Chapter 1: As The Clock Strikes Twelve

It's too dark for my kind of think :
Amazing how sad, shocked and disappointed you can get because of a piece of writing.

Author's Response:

Glad to know the story had an impact. Thanks for the review.

~ Tim the Enchanter

 

The Other Weasley by annie
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 44]

Summary: Draco hadn't counted on the other Weasley. Rated for one expletive. Warning: This probably doesn't feature the pairing you're expecting :P

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 983 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/15/08 Updated: 04/15/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/21/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Other Weasley

LMAO!!!!
That was so funny, you should take more homework breaks :D

 

Summary: What happens when you mix the Chinese military, Magizoologists, militant animal rights activists, Tibetan nationalists, wizarding bureaucrats, and a mad escaped yeti (besides chaos)?

You yell yourself yellow of course! Whatever that means

But seriously, this is the alternately sober and stupid story of a yeti’s bid for freedom and the madness that ensues. Rated 6-7th Years for substance abuse (Magic Pixie Dust, anyone?), colourful swearing in four different languages (English, German, Spanish, and Mandarin!), and MAD YETI VIOLENCE!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 17559 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
05/17/08 Updated: 11/24/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 06/02/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter III: Twenty-Nine Goats

LOL!!!! I totally loved your use of weapons and call of duty 4.
"BAM! You were killed by Your Mother!"
LOL!
"Jesus has called in an air strike"
“Dick, you dick! We’re on the same team!”
Great use of humour. I also liked it when
XD!
“Brother Hunter’s right,” Vanessa added after taking a puff from her cigarette. “Besides, it’s been statistically proven that kids who play violent video games become crack shots even if they’ve never used a gun in their life.”
Where did you get that from? *chuckle*
I also liked it when you did the bit about Bob drinking the Molotov Cocktail. I loved the weapons humour :)
Hope you add more soon
Your admirer,
The Dark Lord (oops)

Author's Response:

Greetings, the Lark Dord. I am very glad you like this glorified crack!fic story of mine! There’s more weapons humour to come whenever I next update the story. I wrote half of Chapter Four last year, and sort of forgot about this story... Well, that’s what summer is for! Got to get back to writing!

~ Tim the Enchanter

 

The Butterfly Factor by Tim the Enchanter
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary:
Skill.
Practise.
Training.
Coordination.
Determination.


Quidditch games are won and lost by combinations of the aforementioned factors.

But what about butterflies?


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 2107 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/24/08 Updated: 05/24/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/17/09 Title: Chapter 1: Lepidoptera

Hello Tim,
It's a lighthearted story. I never knew butterflies can cause so much damage.
I've found something:
No wands are allowed at Quidditch matches, this was said by J.K Rowling, I don't know where (Somewhere in the HP Lexicon I think). :P
Great story overall, you should write your THIS IS HOGWARTS! – A Stupid Crossover Parody, loved the absurd fanfic revolution :D

Author's Response:

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE BUTTERFLIES! At best, they get stuck in your eye and break your wrists. At worst, they cause hurricanes! BEWARE!

Concerning the wands, I only mention the mediwizards and the spectators in the stands using them…

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! I have actually already written THIS IS HOGWARTS! – A Stupid Crossover Parody, but it cannot be posted on MNFF because it is a crossover story. However, you can read it on fanfiction.net if you’re curious.

~ Tim the Enchanter

 

The Prank by SaraWinters
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Find out what happens when you mix one dark-haired Slytherin poet, a reluctant James Potter and a bored Sirius Black left too long to his own devices.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 4422 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/11/08 Updated: 08/24/08


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/17/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Prank

I want to know what Snape was doing with fake Lily, I mean what made the ripping noises :D
Hilarious.

 

Summary:
HEY! Hey you! Psssstttt! You have to help us!

It’s Tim the Enchanter, our fanfiction writer – HE’S GONE MAD! We’re just trying to live normal lives at Hogwarts, but CRAZY things keep happening to us because he’s bored!

Please! Read our story and hear our plight! We need to bludgeon some sanity into our author – Oh no! HE’S AT HIS COMPUTER NOW!

NO! NOOO-aaahhhh! Must resist! Resist… Gibber narg turnip turnip wibble antidisestablishmentarianism blubber gibber wop wop bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!


Nominated for QSQ 2009, Best Humour.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 25021 Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/31/08 Updated: 01/22/09


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/17/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Hello, Tim!
Totally hilarious from start to end. For some reason, the MiGs cracked me up (I'm a weapons freak), you should've thrown in some Su-35s for more destruction :D
The Vampire Lesbian Porn, MARRY ME SEXY!, and Students of Darkness mass suicide ritual with toenail clippers made me self combust.
I loved the Super Harry Potter bit, and the Happy Ending was great.
Great story. 10/10 for me.
~The Lark Dord

Author's Response:

Greetings, Dord of Larks! I was actually considering adding some Tupolev Tu-22Ms, but I didn’t want to bog down the story too much. But with the Su-35, I’d rather go with a Su-37, since those come with two-dimensional thrust vectoring. But I think that all the latest Sukhoi aircraft are just really cool looking planes.

Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you managed to put yourself out quickly after you combusted!

~ Tim the Enchanter

 

Voldemort hearts Chudley by voldiexx
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: What do you when you're a Dark Lord who can't kill anyone? Ever since his last Avada Kedavra went so horribly wrong, Voldemort just can't bring himself to sling another one. In his long journey back to emotional health, Voldemort must battle post-traumatic stress disorder, learn about religion, and, finally, realize that love really does conquer all. Just not exactly the kind of love Dumbledore had in mind...

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 3358 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/02/09 Updated: 02/04/09


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/17/09 Title: Chapter 4: Epilogue

Stop making fun of me!!! >:(
Nah, just kidding. Really funny story, especially the "bloody quidditch practice". I'd rate this around 9 out of 10, you should right more funny stories, it's your strength.

Author's Response: Thank you! For constructive purposes--why not 10?

 

What Luck! by Black-Sand
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: This story contains an OOC Snape, a Harry with an idea and a shock!

Thank you, Wiflen 07, for betaering my story. Preguel to 'Don't Want To Know'

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations

Word count: 1185 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/27/09 Updated: 04/12/09


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 04/17/09 Title: Chapter 1: Harry's Shock

Snape? Social life? These words don't connect together.
Funny story :D

Author's Response: G'day They are now! Thanks for the review. ...xXxLove SandyxXx...

 

This Time by Subversa
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 255]

Summary: After the fall of Voldemort, an inexplicable illness plagues the surviving Death Eaters. Albus Dumbledore has a plan to save Severus Snape—but how, exactly, is Hermione Granger involved?

Categories: Hermione/Snape Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 63057 Chapters: 16 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/09 Updated: 06/13/09


Reviewer: The Lark Dord Signed
Date: 07/04/09 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Great story. I like the humour, and I love the way Severus gets a new life...

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