Girl, fourteen, weird and obsessive. Loves Romeo and Juliet second only to Harry Potter. Beleives that thinking teenage girls should boycott Twilight. Favorite songs are We Will Rock You by Nickelback and So What by Pink. Enjoys funny things, but can't write humor to save her life. Thinks E.L. Konigsburg and Kelly Link are co-goddesses. Can't stand bad grammar or spelling. Rene Magritte is god. Favorite piece of art is Golconde. Thinks censorship needs a good kick up its ass. Wants to be a 'real' writer.
This is so freaking amazing. It's always been one of y favorite stories here; it's also the story I re-read the most. It gets better every time.
This is really good. I just have a few nitpicks to make, but nothing serious!
1. You tend to fall into the 'Soap Opera' trap of using peple's names too much. We know they're George and Ginny, and they know it -- they don't have to call each other by name everytime the say something to each other.
2. Make sure to hit 'Enter' twice between paragraphs.
3. When you do use direct addresses in speech, make sure to put a comma before the name.
Otherwise, great start! Keep writing!
I am officially addicted, seeing as I stayed up until 1:30 last night finishing this. :)
Now, for the nitpicky stuff. The writing is awkward in a few places, and there's a bunch of missed/switched around punctuation. Otherwise, the story is fabulous and the characterizations are heavenly (finally! someone who can write the Mauraders!). If you want a second beta to help with punctuation, etc, I'd be more then willing to help.
You go, girl! Update before I take drastic action. ;)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. If you like Marauders (and the way I write them) then you might like The Lions of Gryffindor. (shameless plug.) Thank you for the nit picks, I may get in touch. I will update as soon as I can because I adore writing this story, unfortunately I'm also in the middle of about four other fics - all demanding my attention! I appreciate your comments - Carole xxx
It was like a wizard tale. The clever Slytherin helps a hag who later repays the debt. Except that Rose Weasley wasn't a hag, and Scorpius didn't expect to call in the favour.
*Winner of the 2010 Next Generation QSQ award*
LOVELY! Yes! A mongoose -- that's so awesome. :) I once had a long conversation with someone about whether the plural of mongoose was mongeese or mongooses . . .but that's a story for another time.
My favorite quotes (and there are a lot):
Scorpius wasn't wearing a shirt and Rose's heart was beating like crazy.
He was so confusing. And fascinating. "What do you want?"
Scorpius kissed her.
So perfect! I'll admit I squeed. *looks around sheepishly*
Rose lowered her hands and got an unobstructed view of Scorpius' chest. "Wow—I mean, sorry . . .
*laughs head off*
Dad!" Rose turned on her heel to beg him to shout at her in private and almost died of embarrassment on the spot. He was wearing plaid boxers! "You're yelling at us? At least we have clothes on!"
"Boxers are clothes." Her dad crossed his arms.
*begins to gasp for air* So bloody brilliant. And so Ron.
"My life wasn't paradise anyway."
The rest of these I pointed out because they were funny. This one is just so perfectly glorious . . .wow. Just wow.
Poor Roxanne. :( I'm kinda glad George and Angelina are splitting up, though. From a writer's POV, it adds more drama. :) From a reader's POV, at least a Fred/Angelina shipper's POV, it is sweet revenge. *cackles evily* Just kidding. I'm sad for George, too. :(
As always, UPDATE! Can't wait for more!
Thank you so much for including your favorite quotes! It's so nice to see what you liked!
Did you say mongooses? That's the correct form, funny as it looks.
My George/Alicia post epilogue story won a Quicksilver Quill, (this is only the second review I've mentioned that in, heh, it's harder to slip into RL conversation) so I'm sad yet happy for George to be free to find someone who loves him for the right reasons, with all her heart. And you can probably guess who that'll be, ;).
*does happy dance, which strangely resembles a one-person tango* Yay! New chapter! Whats more, a FREAKIN AMAZING chapter! Scorpius = love.:)
So -- does Scorpius have OCD?
I didn't remember to copy and paste my favorite bits. :( If I remember later, I'll review again. (Remind me why MuggleNet doesn't let you edit your reviews?)
BTW, Screw Your Courage To The Sticking Place was so good. Please write more Draco/Astoria!
Update soon! (Though that's hardly necessary, O Princess of Fast Updates. ;))
So it doesn't take two to tango! Good to know. :D
Scorpius doesn't have OCD, he's just a collector who takes comics very seriously. If he was compulsive he would have put the comics into proper order, heh.
I wish I could update faster, but I'm happy with "consistently" :).
Though I doubt your ego needs to be inflated even more, I've got to say this story is amazing.
I'm just kidding, of course. :)
It really is, though. Updating will be necessary for my mental heath. :)
Author's Response: It's not ego stroking, it's encouraging me to keep writing because you like it! Loony bins prolly don't allow internet access, so I will absolutely keep submitting regularly. (I found out ch 6 has posted, so huzzah for mental health! :D)
If you write any more chapters like that, I'm going to have to use Albus's paper bag. I was barely fighting off hyperventilation. :)
You, girl, are amazing. Keep writing, or I may use violence.
Oh, and . . .
BRITNEY SPARKLES! *dies from laughter*
That is all.
Yay for barely fighting off hyperventilation! Keep a paper bag handy, heh, and remember: too much carbon dioxide can cause problems, so only breathe in a few times. :P
YES! I *heart* fast updates, which you seem to be the queen of! *huggles*
Amazing chappie, as usual. I really want to know what Scorpius' Patronus is . . .*twiddles thumbs impatiently*
“Elitists eat pizza?”
Hehe! I'm going to have to use that. :)
“You’re telling us Draco Malfoy makes pizza?”
ROFL! That is so funny.
One thing, and it's minor to the extreme -- Ron? Wine? I admit I did a double-take; he doesn't seem to be the wine-drinking type. *scratches chin*
Anyway -- great chapter! I love you! Update soon!
Ron's a grown man married to a woman of sophisticated taste. Yes, he drinks wine...and also beer, when he's at a Quidditch match or in a pub with his mates. :D
I couldn't see Draco making pizza, but supervising, very him, heh.
There are a couple of other authors who seem to update faster, so I can only claim Princess status, LOL.
Please pardon my fangirlyness for a moment, while I say:
*cough* Anyway -- it was. Really. And now I'm excited for the next chapter . . .more then usual . . .please update soon, lest I lose what little sanity I've managed to old on to. ;-)
Author's Response: Fangirlyness is a good thing! The next chapter is a lot of fun, but I have to warn you, for sanity's sake, lol, that if you thought THIS chapter had a cliffie....
"Yes, they put photographs on cards and quizzed me along with the times tables."
Rose's eyes held the humour her brother lacked. She asked, "Why not earlier, with your colours and shapes?"
"They didn't want to scar my developing psyche."
I. Laughed. So. Hard.
This story is brilliant. Everyone is so perfect, characterization-wise, and I feel like I've known them forever. *squee*
This story is guaranteed a QSQ nomination. :)
Oh, and one last thing -- UPDATE!
Thank you so much for laughing! I giggled madly imagining Weasley flash cards and little Scorpius saying, "Wose".
If you nominate me for one next year I'll have to buy red-checquered Converse to go dancing in! :D
*huggles* LOVE the chappie!
"A stand for a kettle or pot over an open fire. Charles Dickens used it in the Pickwick Papers. ‘Right as a trivet, sir, replied Bob Sawyer'."
*is totally in love with Scorpius*
I'd think if you have an eidetic memory you'd have to train yourself NOT to quote all the time. :D
Teddy? Rose? Creepy. He's, like, eight years older then she is!
*cough* Anyway, great chapter, as always. One complait -- it seemed a little foggy, if you know what I mean. Like I was seeing everything through a haze. Am I making any sense?
"Alice in Wonderland," Scorpius said. "If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does."
*squees in happiness* That is so awesome.
Rose let go of Scorpius' fingers. "There's barbecue chicken too," she said. "Do you like—" Her face heated again. She couldn't say breasts, legs, or thighs! "—chicken?" she ended lamely.
*gasps for air* So. Freakin'. Funny.
Teddy's father was 12 years or so older than his mother. Are Tonks and Remus creepy? No way!
Hmm...I don't know why it seemed foggy unless it was the italics used for the flashback...or there was some smoke from a hookah-loving caterpillar. :D
Thank you for liking those bits!
GORGEOUS, sweetie! I loved it.
Also, this story has a very nice banner for it over on the forums . . .I wonder who made it . . .
Anyway, very good! And I'm going to go right now to check out your author's page. :-)
Author's Response: Aw, thank you darlin', I'm glad you liked it. Teh banner shall go up as soon as I can get to photobucket (I hadn't known this had been validated!). /Ari /who is now officially a MNFF author :D\
Two hearts beat.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Do you believe in soul mates?
Do you believe in forever?
Do you believe that life isn’t worth living without him?
Do you believe that you can't go on without her?
This is really good. I was cursing you because you took a plot bunny I really wanted, but the result is better then I ever could've managed.
Rock on, and update soon!
Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry I took the bunny you wanted. :o Thanks for taking a chance on it, though, and I'm really glad that you like it. I hope that I can continue to do it the justice it deserves. :) -jams- I'll try my best to get the next chapter up soon. xox Mere
Lily Evans - soon to be Potter - hasn't spoken to Severus Snape for years, and is both surprised and wary to receive from him an urgent note requesting that they meet to talk. Unsure of what to expect, she complies - and is utterly shocked when she finds out the reason that he wanted to speak to her.
A very short "missing moment" ficlet.
Awesomeness. Pure awesomeness.
Both Lily and Snape were fabulously in-character, and the whole thing just worked, if you know what I mean.
*huggles* Good job, sweetie! I should have that next chapter (and that banner) to you soon!
Author's Response: Yay! A review from my beta! *does happy dance!
*tackle hugs* Amazing! I love this so much. And the end is still creepy to the extreme -- I adore it.
Okay, now I'm going to check out your author's page for that link. Again -- this is amazing. Keep writing, and tell me if you need any more help! :-)
Author's Response: -tackle hugs back- Lol. Thank-you so much - and thanks for lending you beta'ing hand XD I hope you find the link okay - it doesn't stand out much. xx
It's official. Malfoy has murdered sleep.
*A Ron pov outtake to Our Little Secret.*
Amazing, of course! I like the missing moment. :) Now, please, please, please update OLS! I'm dying for the next chapter!
Oh, and nice Shakespeare references. ;) I see I've met another Bard fanatic.
I've just been reading Two Matchmakers, by the way -- I like it. :)
I've got another one shot waiting in Draco's pov Screw Your Courage to the Sticking Place, heh, so fan, yes, maybe I am...and maybe I am. :D OLS should update any day. (crosses fingers, toes, eyes, legs, and everything else!)
Thank you for reading Matchmakers! This Draco isn't that Draco, but I still heart him. :)
Very good. Original idea, quality writing, and the characterizations are good -- my one complaint is Ginny. I think she'd be more 'I. Am. Not. Leaving. My. Baby.' rather then 'No! You can't take my baby away from me! Stop!' Just my two cents.
Otherwise -- great! And I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Ah.... you need to see Ginny in the next chapter. She had to take a bit of a back seat because she was turning into me and that was getting in the way of the story. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Thank you for the review. Carole xxx
It would be easier to kill his father than reason with him.
*A Draco pov outtake to Our Little Secret.*
So good. I love the Draco/Astoria dynamic, and that Draco actually married for love. :) And the KoW reference, and the Sectumsempra reference, and the Shakespeare reference in general . . .all in all, quite amazing. Now update OLS!
Draco could never have married someone who didn't love him. With Lucius making him feel he rarely measures up, he needs the, er, passionate support of his wife. :)
I will, I will, mods willing. :D