Russia needs to update her Bio.
/I'll get back to you.
I really enjoyed this story! James/Remus is not something that I had ever imagined, but you wrote it very believably.
I have a slight issue with the characterization of Remus, but when writing slash the characterization is incredibly difficult, as the character is not really going to act like that.
You made this very interesting to read by incorporating humour and the tense, romantic bits were fantastically written!
It was a lovely "accident one xmas" stroy.
Nominated for a Quicksilver Quill for Best Romance-Non Canon 2007, 2008, and 2009. In 2010 mods changed the rules (they got tired of the same fics being nominated ^_~) so no more QQ hopes, but that's okay. No proof is needed that Draco/Ginny = love.
* Written before the HBP, this tale presents an alternate sixth year in which Dumbledore lives, Draco is more than a foil to Harry, and Blaise Zabini is a girl. I hope readers who ship Draco/Ginny will enjoy the story which includes dancing with faeries, Celtic and Norse mythology, school holidays in London and Spain, and loads of fantasy and romance. "Is this a kissing book?" (to quote the Princess Bride) Yes, it is. *
(Warnings were added for safety, due to brief allusions in later chapters, not graphic content.)
Heyyy, Paige! Look who's baaaaack! Yes, you'd better get those dancing shoes on, because here comes a Russia review! XD
Another fabulous chapter, of course, I loved so many things about it!
Luna especially, is a big sticking point for me. Every time I read Luna, in anything, I keep waiting and waiting for her to go out of character. But in this fic, she is just... gah she is an amazing Luna! You don't try too hard to keep up with the idea that everyone has of Luna being so 'dreamy' and 'loopy' because you are exploring her character and giving her more depth than just the ditzy character we see in JKRs work. I love your Luna, Paige!
Draco. Wow. So arrogant and just exactly as I always saw Draco to be:
”Speechless, eh...I like you more already...not that I don't have that effect on most girls in this school...just the price I pay for being so...me”
That is a really great Draco line =D The way he and Ginny interact in this chapter is wonderful, you have really got inside Draco’s head and shown us how he ticks.
You also have a true gift for subtlety. I mean, you finish this chapter and get the distinct idea that Ginny has a serious thing for Draco. And you never even say she does! I think it has a lot to do with the way Ginny is so defensive:
"Oh...you...just because I fell for your stupid prank first year doesn't mean I'm going to do it again so...so...don't even try!”
You do have Draco saying that Ginny has a thing for him, and she denies it so furiously we know that it must be true :-p
The way you have structured this chapter gives the reader so many different view points on the same story. Most authors choose one main character to focus on, and stick to that the whole story through. But you show us several sub-plots through the eyes of nearly every character mentioned!
All in all, a fantastic chapter, but I will stop waffling now as I imagine your feet are getting rather tired from the “review dance” XD
Are you kidding? You have a song from The King and I playing in my head!
Shall we dance?
On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Shall we dance?
Followed by a song from My Fair Lady
I could have danced all night!
I could have danced all night!
And still have begged for more.
Tired of someone who notices details and has an amazing insight into characterization and dialogue? To quote a dead sexy pirate who won't be seen for a few chapters yet: INCONCEIVABLE!
Kerichii! Yes, that's right, Russia is baack! I only came here to get the link so I could reccomend it, but then BAM I got sucked back into it. *resigns self to another 3 months of pure heaven* how am I EVER going to get any of my own FFs finished if I keep re-reading this one?! Anyway,
It was even better than I remembered! I contemplated starting afew chapters in, because I was like "The first few chapters will be boring, and just about getting into the story." But this chaoter ws SO good! I adore Draco's characterisation, and Blaise is amazing. I am quite surprised how you managed to have Luna and Draco's characterisations both so perfect! Luna's thoughts at the beginning about Dust Motes and Faeries and her whistling at the end, were so perfect!
I am always surprised when i read Harry or Hermione saying anything, because I don't remember them being much of a part in this fic, but them AS WELL are so well characterised!
I think I should stop fangirling now?
Expect LOTS more reviews from me as I work through each chapter =D
Lots of huggles!
Author's Response: I heart you, woman! You have a gift of encouragement and positive critique. Have you ever considered joining SPEW? The requirements have gone down to 2 reviews a month (if one of your reviews is of a SPEW buddy or author of the month, since that counts as both an activity and a review).
That was an amazing story! i really didnt want it to end, i'm very glad there is a sequel to look forward to! i have been reading this story for so long, how will i cope without it?! more fanfiction! Great story! Russia xxx
Author's Response: ill0;k4;km0;, Russia! Thank you so much for not wanting it to end. You're right, there's always more fan fics to read, and (at least for now) I'm the most prolific author on the site. :D
I just finished this, so I thought I owed you a review! I won't bore you with grammer shizz, because, to be honest, I enjoyed the story too much! I am proud to say that I do like Snamione, but only when I can find a good one.This, was a GREAT one! It was just so.... Darn, I lost my words. I really really enjoyed it. And two D/A prequels? Well i'm gonna have to go and read those! D/A is my fave, and I know they will be awesome. Well done again for a fantasticv fic.
I usually am VERY uptight about Americanisms, but I, barely, noticed them in this fic. (not because they werent there, but because i was too excited to read on!) I will still note about them though. "realiSE" no 'z' and "coloUr" basically, if you are typing a 'z' during a HP FF, it is almost certianly wrong :-p But, that is it from me. Well done, it was a brilliant fic, and the best Snamione I have ever read.
I really liked this prolouge, The fight with the Slytherins was really well done. You are a really good writer, the things you write all seem so real, I love Lily's character in this.
A few nit-picks though! Lily wouldn't have braces in the wizarding world. Even Hermione, who had dentists as parents, didn't wear her brace at school. If she had a problem with her teeth, she simply would have gone Madam Pomfry to fix it. having braces myself, I know they don't work very well unless you have them tightened every six weeks or so, and that isnt really something you could do while at Hogwarts. You also say about Petunia that she had "thick blonde hair" which we know from Canon inst strictly true, (unless of course she dyed it) and you say that Lily and Petunia hated each other. As far as I can tell, that is in no way true. Petunia may have thought her sister was a freak, but as far as I know, Lily always loved her sister, even if they grew apart after Lily began Hogwarts. Also, you have Alice as her best friend. A fic of mine recently got rejected for the same thing, Alice Longbottom wasn't in the same year as Lily, she was actually older. I appreciate that you can't change her character now, i just thought I;d tell you for future reference. Watch out for those Americanisms as well "Realized" doesn't have a 'z'
I do really like the idea of the whole 'transformation' thing for Lily though, it is something I have never seen before.
I am very very sorry that my reviews may seem a little harsh, but I really do love your writing and am only trying to help you improve! and I look forward to reading the next few chapters! Sorry again if I seem harsh!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the writing, and never feel bad about constructive criticism! This first chapter was written so, so long ago that I'm sure it has a lot of problems. I can hardly read it myself anymore because there are many, many things that ought to be changed. I'll have to bear it and take a look to fix what you suggested! :)
Wow. That was amazing. There was SUCH emotion in that part about Beverly, I mean obviously we knmew which it would be, but honestly? I wanted to cry. Really really well written! Well done!
See? I can be less harsh >.<
Author's Response: Thanks very much! Yes, it was pretty obvious I wasn't about to kill Lily or Emma, but I'm glad you still liked it :)
Hey, Katty =)
I really liked this story, well done! I see you already have a lot of very detailed reviews for this story so I won’t bore you with repeating everything the others have already said!
The way you waited until the end to reveal her name was very effective and you handled it really well. Your descriptions were just
Ginny looks forward to her birthday the way other kids count down to Christmas. This year, when she blows out the candles, will her birthday wish come true?
Awwww! that was really sweet! keep writing out takes! A tale of two matchmakers should never end! Its an epic in my house as i have been reading various bits for months! i think that is the last one now :-( write some more please! also methinks i will go and read Princess Bride and watch Sixteen Candles now.... Thanks for such great entertainment over the past 2 months!
Author's Response: You're sweet to want more outtakes! I personally prefer the film version of The Princess Bride over even the "Good Parts" version of the book (Cary Elwes inspired Wesley) but I'm so glad you were entertained. I have a lot more stories, including a Rose/Scorpius I'd love you to read. I can't write Lily/Scorpius when in my alternate universe Draco and Ginny are married. :D
Sequel to A Tale of Two Matchmakers
Seven years later....
Blaise fears Terry wants a divorce, Luna is hiding a secret from Wesley, and Draco is tired of idiots saying his son has pink hair! Ginny's solution? Call the curls reddish blond and invite their friends to the Malfoy mansion for Christmas.
Awww i'm so gutted that its over!
More sequels please!!! this story should NEVER end!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for telling me that! I've wanted to write a sequel, even tried to cast an writer Unbreakable Vow that I'd do it (thankfully it wasn't an actual magic spell or I'd be dead, LOL), but the Muse has eluded me. I'm still (as of now) the most prolific writer on the site, though, so there are plenty of more stories for you to read if you like my style!
that was so good i was all geared up for a sad ending and that was really so happy! all heroic deaths and amazing survival stories i really enjoyed it!
wow that was really powerful amd really sad it was amazing
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
That was really good! i love the cliffhanger ending! or did i hate it? i cant decide which i wanted him to choose?!
Author's Response: Lol, that line between love and hate can be very fine indeed! I tend to love cliffy endings, if done right, like the original story was.
I got the link for this story from you beta boards banner. I really enjoyed it, it was a great one shot and i love Ginny/Draco's! (Love the banner too!)
Author's Response: Thanks so much! ^^
I really like this story, It had a really original plot and it was really well written. This is the second time I have read this story, and I was still suprised at the ending! I loved how you explained the background to the story, and it made the ideas behind Draco's thoughts really believable. There were maybe a few sentences that could have been improved by extra punctuation, but over all it was very well written, and I really enjoyed it.
I really enjoyed the twist you gave the poem, it made me smile, especially the "He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
And filled everyone’s stockings, even Percy the jerk." This made me giggle.
I maybe would have added a few words to some of the lines to improve the flow for instance "Away to the window I flew like a fly
I went so fast I thought I’d die." I would change that last line to "Thought that i'd die" As i think this extra word improves the flow of this line. But I really enjoyed how you took a well known poem and made it totally your own.I loved some of the words you thought to rhyme! Well done, and keep writing!
I really liked this story; I have always been interested to see what Bella felt after the war was over, and I think you wrote it very well. Your description of Azkaban was really good, and it was interesting to see Bella’s real feelings, and to see that maybe she isn’t all evil.
Bella’s characterisation was lovely. You really captured her love for the Dark Lord, and how she felt when she found out he was dead. I liked how you used the possibility of suicide to look at Bella’s thoughts, and how you used third person when talking about Bella. The cross cutting you used was very clever, and made me want to read the rest of the story, to find out is she jumped or not. I liked how you included bits like, “after he had taken her chin in his hand and promised her…” This sentence really enhances the feel of Bella’s almost childish dedication to her master. The use of further flashbacks in italics to show her thoughts was also really cleverly used. The way she thought about the Dark Lord now he was dead, trying to picture him in the afterlife, was a really clever addition to the story.
The only small points of critique I have are about the word choice and flow; “only to breathe once more the sea air” - I think this would flow better as “only to breathe, once again, the sea air”. I also noticed a space missing between “certain” and “he” in this sentence: “until he was certainhe had enough power [...]”. Other than that it was a very well written story.
I really liked the plot of this story. I was surprised at how much time you could fit into just one chapter; it was written very well. The gap between one year and the next was very smooth, it flowed excellently. I think you described Andromeda’s family and school experience very well. I liked how you described the differences between the three sisters, and how Andromeda’s parents felt about how different she was. “My parents were worried. I was unique. I was different.” I love how this line describes her parents; I think it shows, very simply, how her parents are feeling.
Andromeda’s characterisation was superb. It really was perfect, things she said, “My sisters turned their backs on me. I was completely ignored by Bella in school, and eventually, when she arrived, Cissy acted like I was nothing but a bit of dust on the flood, nothing better than the “Mudblood scum” that roamed the school.” This described the family bond excellently; I loved the simile you used here, about the dust and the flood, and how you added the “Mudblood scum” to show how disappointed her family were with her.
The only critique I have for this story is to do with your word choice and flow. “They would do anything to ruin my happiness, yeah?” I don’t really like the “yeah?”-part on the end of this sentence; I don’t think it fits in with the feel of the rest of the story. If you wanted to include it I think it would have fitted better at the beginning of the sentence: “Yeah, they would do anything to ruin my happiness,” or I would just take it out completely. “One I could tell my secrets, or tell stories about my family.” To me, this sentence didn’t make a lot of sense, I think there is a “to” missing “One I could tell my secrets, or tell stories about my family to” I might even re-write this sentence to something along the lines of “One I could tell my secrets to, someone to tell stories about my family”. I’m not sure, it just didn’t sound quite right to me. “I sat there, slightly gaping, and realized then that there was much more to Ted Tonks than what met the eye.” I think this sentence would have more effect if you split it up. I sat there, gaping slightly. I realized then, that there was so much more to Ted Tonks than what met the eye”. I think having the shorter sentence at the beginning adds more effect; I also changed around the order of “gaping” and “slightly” as I feels it makes more sense like that.
Other than that, I loved some of the words you chose, and your use of similes was fantastic “the spotless puppy in a world of Dalmatians, it seemed.” I particularly liked that one. Your description of rain was also beautiful, and I loved the ending.
I really enjoyed this story.
Author's Response: Your review is quite possibly the best review that I have read, and subsequently received. It is honestly, what seems to me, the prototype of everything that a review should be. Thank you so much for the constructive criticism, pointing out particular things you liked, and characterisation comments! It is GREATLY appreciated.
Hey, Okay, since I last reviewed, I have learnt how to actually review well, so I came back!
Okay, I thought the plot for this story was very clever, it was a really good idea, and I liked how it could have actually happened without it having to be AU. It was really well written, and you captured Ginny’s and Draco’s feeling and emotions perfectly. I liked how you had both characters still in love with their husband/wife and having a family, and yet still having very deep feelings for each other. However I thought there was a small issue with a slight plot hole. The flashbacks were very useful in explaining the feelings they had for each other, but I wasn’t sure exactly how the characters feelings jumped from distaste to love. I think may be a small paragraph at the beginning of the flashback would help to explain this.
Ginny’s characterisation was very well done. “The world was a large place and she only saw the smallest part of it. Her home was expected to be her world, and she was supposed to be happy, like her mother” This really shows how different Ginny wants to be. It shows that sometimes she feels pressured to be like her mother, but really she is a very different person; I think this is exactly how Ginny would feel, and you described it very well. I also really liked the metaphor of the cage; I think it is very plausible that Ginny thought like this, it was really cleverly done.
Draco’s characterisation was also good. You showed his more lonely, separate side with things like: “But he was different on his walk, and didn’t want company.” I can definitely imagine Draco feeling like that, and wanting to be by himself to think about things. I loved how you had the flashbacks to explain the background to the story, and how you described their love for each other, even though they knew it could never happen. The feeling of him being trapped was also very strong in this story; I thought the line “the place that showed his mistake, his biggest mistake” was very powerful and is the first insight into the rest of the plot of the story.
I liked how you switched PoV between each paragraph too, clearly showing that both characters felt the same. The timeline confused me slightly however; at the beginning when they were both writing, was that just after they had settled down? And then later on, when it was just Draco, how long has passed?
I thought there were a lot of powerful sentences in this story, and I truly loved the idea of Draco feeling like something was wrong, and seeing the red of the leaves, and the fire not lighting. This was a particularly powerful part of the story, and I thought you wrote it very well.
wow. how tear jerking was that? havent cried like that in a while! that was fantastic, i really enjoyed it!