Let me say this first off: I'm a huge Remus/Tonks shipper. I have loved the pairing ever since I first read about them and I was crushed when they died in DH (main reason why I tend to write AU for them post-DH). For this reason a lot of my stuff will concern Remus/Tonks, but there are times when I stray away... to Teddy Lupin (and others).
I first discovered fanfiction before the release of HBP and found it absolutely fascinating, but then school work took over and I didn't have time to read it. After the release of DH, I found it again and was even inspired to write my own (however my older stuff is horrible, so don't try to Google it). I absolutely love writing fanfiction and will spend time coming up with different plots and thinking of odd situations for my characters, especially for my OCs (whom I adore). I love reading and writing romance, which most likely the reason why I try to pair up all of my OCs with someone.
A Mix of Alliances and Sentiments- My first fic validated on this site and the darkest fic I've ever written. Through this, Demetri and Genevieve have become one of my favorite couples I've ever written. The problem is, I keep coming up with companion pieces for this fic or alternate stories for them. Maybe I should put other characters in the place of them....
As the Rain Fell- Ever since I read "House of Gaunt" in HBP, I've always felt sorry for Merope. I've always wanted to write a fic on her and Tom Riddle Sr. and this allowed me to do that. I'm very proud of this one.
Just Like Me- As mentioned before, I love Remus and Tonks and I always imagined the Marauders somewhat close to the Tonks family. That's how this story came about.
Seeking a Reason- My newest fic on here. I've had the idea in my head for some time, but I could never get it on paper. This fic also broke my "one fic at a time" rule. Hopefully, I will continue to write this, as it gives me a good break from all the dark/angst that comes from my other chaptered fic.
No Matter the Circumstances- Remus/Tonks and an early favorite for me, though Just Like Me changed that. This was written about a year ago, so my writing has greatly changed since.
A Burning Complication- Teddy/Victoire oneshot written for the Third Task Mini-Gauntlet on the forums. Charlie Weasley also makes an appearance. Sweet, fluffy piece.
Black Horse- A nice comeback for me into darker themes, and it has become one of my most recent favorite pieces. No dialogue (though there is speaking, but no formal tags) and in 1st person POV (my favorite POV to write).
Summary: Clara and William come from two different worlds: she, a Muggle peasant, and he, a wealthy wizard. But each has fallen victim to an illness, a disease, a stigma. A full moon brings the unlikely duo together—but it may yet tear them apart.
A Historical OC/OC Romance set in England in the 1800s.
This is a very interesting story you have here. I really like how this is an OC/OC romance, as these kinds of stories always add a different side to the Harry Potter world, where as many focus on canon characters. You have a great style in presenting this as well, with the song lyrics, the brief first person perspective, and the continuing third person perspective. Usually, this would be a lot to take in, but the way you have it works well. However, I somewhat find the lyrics a bit distracting, though I did notice the pattern with Natasha Bedingfield’s lyrics during Clara’s chapters and Matchbox 20’s lyrics during William’s.
Chapter 2: As if he, William Briarwood, would ever need the help of a lowly Muggle!
I wanted to address this specific line, because I found it very interesting how William is so critical of Clara, even though he is a werewolf, soon to be outcast by his own family. I’m assuming he’s pureblood, am I right?
Chapter 3: “Late again, Miss Miller?” asked Bishop Aldrich you this time?”
During the 3rd chapter, this sentence confused me. I don’t know if it was a continuation of a quote that missed a part or whether you meant to cut this out, but you might want to fix it.
Chapter 4: Of course this girl, this lowly Muggle leper, would be just as coarse and uneducated as she appeared.
I happened to love this part. In the first chapter, Clara was specifically stating that she wanted to get rid of the stereotype of lepers, but here William is still in belief of it. I also really liked the part where he offered to teach her how to write.
You’ve done a great job so far with your characters. They are believable, with William encompassing the ideals of wizards and Clara making a point that not all Muggles are ignorant and stupid (as can be somewhat common in stories). It will be very interesting to see how their relationship evolves, given their values and beliefs. (I liked the part where Clara believes that witchcraft is superstitious nonsense.) In the short chapters that have been written, I have already gotten an understanding of their personalities, which is hard to do when first introducing characters. I like Clara’s independent, almost rebellious, nature, and William’s proud figure.
As for plot, I’m definitely interested in seeing where this is going. Pureblood families are always interesting to read about, and you have added an interesting twist with having this story set in an earlier time period. Add the fact that William is a werewolf and Clara a leper, and you’ve got a very unique story. Well done with this and I hope to see more.
Summary: Lily is having a tough time getting along with her sister. As she becomes more aware of her magic side, Petunia’s resentment is growing at a proportional rate, to a point where Lily is having second thoughts about wanting to learn more magic. Severus despises Petunia for what he feels is selfishness and jealously. His more immediate problem, however, is trying to make sure Lily stays enthusiastic about magic so that she will go to Hogwarts. There, he is sure he will have more time with her away from her narrow-minded, Muggle sister.
This story was written by Skipper of Hufflepuff for the November One-Shot Challenge.
This is a fantastic piece you have here and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every single part of it. It gave an intriguing view of Lily and Severus’ relationship, before the first train ride to Hogwarts, which could arguably be one of the most crucial times of their time together because of the lack of James in the picture. There was a steady building throughout the fic of the growing tension between Petunia and Lily that I thought was very well executed. It was also well incorporated with how Severus was there for Lily to comfort her, or at least attempt to make her feel better.
I believe that you portrayed all the characters very well, not only in their personalities but also making it age relevant with their attitudes and speech. Severus was especially well written, incorporating all of his traits: his love for Lily, the awkwardness with her, his fascination with magic and potions, and his belief that magic is the solution to all and that witches/wizards are better than Muggles. I really liked the contrast with Lily and how she still wants to be with her sister and how she likes magic, but can still respect those who are not magical. With Eileen Snape, you did a wonderful job bringing her into the story and provoking a feeling of sympathy for her with her abusive husband. The fact that she is close to her son and will speak to him about most things was very powerful and made the reader feel even more sympathetic towards her.
The tiniest smile pulled at the corners of his mouth and excitement gleamed in his eyes.
There’s something about this line that I really liked. I loved the way it shows a bit of mischief that could be characterized for a ten year old and it reveals that sort of excitement of anything magical, as is frequently themed throughout the story.
“You’d be able to pay off that man who keeps coming round about the money we owe.”
There needs to be an apostrophe at the beginning of “round”.
Severus replied as though the idea disgusted him.
I really liked the characterization here, again showing how he thinks that magic is superior to all else.
For a moment, he thought of going downstairs and trying to help her.
In contrast to the cold Severus we usually see in his adulthood, I think this very well showed his soft side and sense of wanting to protect his mother. It also shows that Lily is not the only person that he truly cares about and that he can be there for the people he loves.
“I’m not so sure I want to do magic if it means my sister hates me.”
I absolutely love this part. I think Lily was very well written here and I love the fact that she is not sure about magic, where Severus is dying to have Lily go to Hogwarts, excited at the fact that she is a witch. You also presented the Petunia-Lily relationship well, with Petunia wanting nothing to do with her sister and Lily trying to mend a broken relationship. Parts with Severus trying to make Lily feel better, but somewhat failing was also very in-character.
He had wished in the past, on more than one occasion, he could read her mind.
Nice reference to “reading people’s minds” in contrast to what Severus tells Harry while in Hogwarts, during OotP.
“Is he alright?”
“Alright” needs to be changed to “all right”. The first one is more of an agreement while the latter is checking if everything is okay.
“…I’ll bet you could punch me right now, as hard as you could, and I wouldn’t feel a thing.”
“Why would I want to punch you?”
Again, nicely put where you put in the differences in personality between Lily and Severus. I think this also goes into the same idea where boys at a young age are more willing to reference violence, where girls are more uncomfortable at the idea.
He lifted the green cloth covering it on his desk…
Another aspect of this story I really liked was the constant references to the color green, as well as slithering and snake-like qualities. This is symbolic of Severus going into Slytherin, but the nice thing about the timing of the color green was it was always in coherence to anything magical.
Other than the small bits mentioned above, I found almost no mistakes. This was beautifully written with superb language and description. Characters were true to themselves and were completely accurate. The symbols and constant themes that kept cropping up in subtle ways added another depth to an already brilliant story. Overall, this was a fantastic story to read and I enjoyed it all the way.
Summary: Lily's infamous preference for the Giant Squid over James Potter leads to a promise she just might regret. Be careful what you say, otherwise your friends may make you eat your words!
I really liked this. When I saw the summary, I thought it was an interesting story idea and when I read it, I loved it. Very funny how Lily's friends took one casual phrase and made it a much bigger deal. Great job!
Summary: During his 7th Year, James Potter is forced into a political marriage with a girl he can't stand. Her name is Arabelle de Champagne, she is part veela, and according to most people, the most beautiful witch anyone will ever lay eyes on. But not to James. To him, Arabelle is simply the most obnoxious and conceited person he has ever met, but he still has to at least pretend that he is in love with her, and pretend he is completely over Lily Evans. And how will Lily react to the news? Will she finally realize what she has been trying to deny for years?
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this fic here,. I believe I have commented on this somewhere else and I still love it. I can't wait to read the next chapter and see what else you will bring us.
Author's Response: Well thank you very much. Yeah, it's ridiculous how long it's taken me to get this up here. I had all but given up, but decided to give it one more try and it worked, thank God :]
Summary: (1946)Tom Riddle is nineteen years old, and has already created four Horcruxes: the Cup, the Diadem, the Ring, and the Locket. But now he sets sail for India, to capture and tame the legendary snake Nagini, in the hot deserts of Rajasthan. India, currently under the British rule, is unfamiliar to him, and he needs a guide.
Anupama Patil is the perfect woman for him. Nineteen herself, only she has the power to make this handsome young man angry. Only she can resist his charms...but will he be able to resist hers?
Violence is ripping across the country as the natives try to drive the British out. In the middle of this havoc, can two teenagers fulfill their wishes?
I have been reading this fic since the prologue and I absolutely love it. I think the plot is very interesting and the description of everything is wonderful. You characterize Tom very well and I hope to see more soon. This is fantastic!
Summary: Draco somehow managed to get his very own advice column in Hogwarts' school paper, where he gives his sage opinion to those who dare to ask for it. Feel free to write in for advice about love, life, school, family, anything you can think of! But remember... with Draco, you tend not to get the answer you expected!
This fic is absolutely hilarious. I love reading it and I think its really great. I hope to see more soon.
Arabella is a normal girl, from a normal wizarding family. A worry is constantly sitting on her stomach, though, and soon that worry has to be confirmed.
*Profanity minor, and one incident only*
I loved this and I think it was very well done. I have always felt a bit of sadness when I hear about Squibs within a entire family of wizards, and the emotion you created with this fic, showed those emotions exactly. Although it was sad, it was almost understandable to see the famliy disappointed in their daughter. I also liked the bit where her sister doesn't even pay attention anymore either. I loved the way you concluded it, though, with Arabella finding a friend and finding that magic isn't everything. It was interesting to see this done in the present tense and the way you wrote it made it truly feel like an eleven year old was writing it (simple sentences, simple words, etc.).
Although, there's one question. You have her family pick up Fiona from the train station, I'm assuming from Hogwarts, around mid July. I know the books don't give a specific date that the students are released, but I don't think that it would be as late as mid July. Any reason why you chose this?
Author's Response: Thanks, I don't write in present tense very often, so I'm pleased you think it worked :D The date used to be the end of July until Bine commented >.> Lol. Still too late? Hm. I chose mid-July because that's kind of the average let-out date for Muggle school kids. Maybe the wizarding world is different? Who knows? Anyway, yeah. Thanks again - I'm pleased you like it. xx
Summary: What happens when our favorite foursome, plus Lily, Snape, and of course some impossibly perfect OCs return to Hogwarts for their 7th year? Why, absolute bucketfuls of drama, angst, tears, jealousy, unrealistic events, and cheesy, cheesy dialogue! Also staggering amounts of random insanity. You have been warned.
Amazing fic! It was absolutely hilarious and I was trying very hard to contain my laughter since I was in the middle of a library when I read this. Brilliantly done and I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Reading fan fiction in the library! For shame! (wink!) Thanks for the review!
Another hilarious chapter. I loved every moment of it, especially with plot points "accidentally" being given away. *gasp* Really well done and I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the extremely unpredictable plot. Have fun guessing what happens next!
It wasn’t that he didn’t love Astoria – he did.
He just wasn’t sure he could love a child.
Draco Malfoy was never one for fathering. Little kids disgusted him; babies horrified him. And yet, Astoria is pregnant. As it comes down to the final hours, he is torn between his love for his wife and his contempt for a small blonde one. Is Draco a man of his head or his heart?
I absolutely loved this! You wrote Draco's character very well and I thought it was great how you made him pacing around the room, back and forth, adding to the anxiety of not only him, but also the reader. I loved how Draco was unsure about having a baby, while Astoria was very happy about it, even Draco's parents were. My favorite parts were when he repeated the Healer's words in his head, going from Your son. My son. Her son. Our son. It created a very nice feeling of Draco being in a daze and only catching bits of what the Healer was actually saying. The ending was great, where Draco finally comes to terms with himself and accepts the idea of a child, just as the child was coming out.
In addition to the wonderful story, you wrote this increadibly well. The arguements Draco had with himself were very well done and it made the reader feel exactly as he did. Overall, I really loved this story and I'm glad I read it.
Summary: In 1967, Cleansweeps and Comets are the racing brooms of choice in the wizarding world, but a few Hogwarts students have plans to revolutionize the market. Deucalion Wilcott, a Quidditch prodigy, and Slytherin classmate Ivan Berdahl team together to design the greatest racing broom in history.
Who knows broomsticks better than two flying enthusiasts? With a little bit of skill, rule breaking, and plain luck, the Nimbus Racing Broom Company is founded.
Oh, I've been waiting for this fic to be updated and I'm glad it was! :) I really love your characters and I love the fact that even though they are trying to assemble this broom, they also realize that they have school and Hogwarts Quidditch to pay attention to. You are writing this so convincingly and I'm enjoying every moment of this. I can't wait to see what happens next! :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much! (And thanks for still reading!) Yeah, it's fun getting back into the swing of things. I should have my next chapter finished soon — if I do a better job of applying myself, haha! I've spent the last year traveling with elite teenage tennis players, so I'm hoping that has translated into a better understanding of Duke and Ivan. Hopefully.
This sounds like a very interesting story; I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. A great beginning chapter and I'm excited to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Very much belated, but thank you very much. I've been away from the keyboard for way, way too long. I hope to get the next chapter out pretty soon.
This was absolutely brilliant! This story is still one of the most fascinating to me, with how the Nimbus came to be (I really liked the part of how the owl was named Nimbus). It was hilarious how Duke has a group of admirers and that they are completely fascinated by him. I also liked how he likes Sigrid and she doesn't notice him, even though he is well known. Overall, very well written chapter and I absolutely loved it!
Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm still really enjoying writing this (hope the next chapter gets finished too). The admirers were pretty fun to do, especially the young Lockhart cameo. I think it's interesting to parallel how Duke takes the praise of other students with the way Harry often sneaks away from it in the books.
Yet again, you have another wonderful chapter. I liked how Ivan agreed to Deucalion's plan, but was still wary as to whether they can actually build the world's perfect broom. I really liked the mention of the Malfoys and how Lucius' father was doing the exact same thing that he would eventually do to his own son, but this time, the captain didn't take the bait. This was very well written and I really liked the chatper. I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Once again, thanks for the review! I really appreciate it, and I'm very glad you've enjoyed my story so far. I'm nearly finished with the next chapter! When it comes to the Malfoys, I figure Lucius learns much of his attitude and, uh, underhanded philanthropy skills from his father. The whole family seems to be caught in a cycle of history repeating itself.
Very well done chapter. I loved the description of the Quidditch game, but more specifically the merchandise available. You did a good job addressing that and the introduction of new brooms. I loved seeing both boys looking for the "perfect broom" and how Deucalion came up with the idea of them building it. Really well written and can't wait of more.
Author's Response: Thanks, very much for the review. I'm having loads of fun doing this story so far. And really, I'd love to own some real Quidditch merchandise. T-shirts with revolving messages and who knows what else!
I really enjoyed this chapter. It was a great introduction to how life at Hogwarts is for Duke and Ivan, showing all the elements of a typical pureblood values along with showing the progression of ideas in the making of the broom. It’s also nice how you don’t just solely focus on the broom making, which can be a trap while working on this kind of fic, but you also integrate other elements and other points of importance. However, the creation of the broom is probably the most exciting part to see, seeing how life influences the boys in their decisions (even though they don’t realize it sometimes). One of my favorite parts was when Duke had to watch Ivan choose one of his brooms, which was probably painful to see, given his love for Quidditch and brooms.
I can’t imagine Hugglepuff ever being good at Quidditch. They’ve been just miserable ever since we started school.
“Hugglepuff” is actually “Hufflepuff.” There were a couple times where you put otherwise, but that wasn’t the reason I brought this sentence out. I wanted to mention how I liked that you showed not only Slytherin pride, but a side of arrogance, which is natural for them.
Selwyn was always clung to blood status as the all-important factor in judging people, and apparently his friends had joined the obsession.
Once again, a nice characterization of Slytherin nature. But also, it was a great way to bring it up, with the use of the book and judging the blood statuses of even their own House members. It’s something you don’t normally imagine Slytherins doing, but at the same time it is very understandable.
“I’m just saying there’s a movement going on that will finally purge those . . . unworthy to use magic,” Selwyn said. What was that look on his face? Satisfaction? Glee?
Again, this was a nice way to bring up the fact of blood statuses, but I loved how you mentioned this, especially given that the War is soon approaching. It’s always interesting to see the reaction from the other side and how even members of Slytherin are uneasy about this.
I love your characters. I find them so believable and so entertaining to read about. In this chapter as well as others, you points out some really great character points with Duke. It was interesting to see his disgust with the idea of killing Mudbloods, as well as Ivan’s. “Slytherin has changed, Duke.”—this part was particularly interesting since many want to believe that Slytherin has always been wanting to kill of Muggles/Muggle-borns, when that is not always true. I think another interesting point was Duke’s ambition, when he joined potions just to be on Slughorn’s good side. It shows a true mark of a Slytherin, more so than the destruction of less than pureblood. However, there is one thing I wanted to point out. It seems to be that Ivan is more enthusiastic about the idea of creating the fastest broom, more than Duke, even though Duke was the one with the idea. Ivan, in this chapter, was bringing out all the books and he suggested about using Slughorn’s generosity and bias to have time to work on the project. I don’t know if this was done on purpose, but I just found it odd.
As the progression continues in the story, we see developing points as well as new ones cropping up. Of course there is the central plot of the creating the best broom ever, but there are other points that Duke finds important, which is really great to see. I really like how Duke’s focused on the Quidditch team, knowing which players he likes for their skill rather than personality, and how he wants to use Slughorn in order to book the pitch and work on the project. The introduction of the upcoming First War was also really important to see, as it will probably have some effect on the story.
Overall, really great job again and I’m excited to read more.
Author's Response: Thanks, Mercy. You've given me a lot to think about, and I really appreciate the time you've put into these reviews. I think a lot of this story will incorporate the turmoil within the Slytherin House as students individually take sides (though I think by the time Snape joins the crowd, we know which side wins over the majority). Having characters in Slytherin has been interesting because I don't consider them "bad guys," but it's been interesting to find ways to have them remain true to the House's character profile. Duke and Ivan have been a lot of fun in that regard. As for Ivan's upbeat outlook, I'm addressing it in the next chapter... which will hopefully be finished soon. Hopefully being the key! (Heehee! I still can't believe I wrote "Hugglepuff" not once, but twice! I must've been thinking about Muggles at the time or something and just glazed over it during editing.)
Wonderful chapter as always. I always enjoy when canon characters are referenced in an OC story, so it was nice to get a peak at Molly and Arthur and Amos, with a little mention of Gideon.
It really seems as if Ivan and Duke are getting somewhere with their broom idea. It should be interesting what advice Duke's father has to give on broom flying, and I love how Duke's mother is a Healer; very fitting.
And am I sensing some romance in the midst? Ah, Slytherin/Gryffindor, my favorite pairing. It'd be nice to see Duke and Clio get together, but I could very well see her helping out with the broom project if they don't. You've definitely done your research on everything Quidditch, especially with mentions of Quodpot as the American alternative. It's nice to see the international side of wizarding sports,seeing we don't have much in the series (other than the Quidditch World Cup).
I really enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for yet another review! Between moving to a new house and summer writing challenge season, I had to put this story on hold for a few months, so I was happy to dive back in with this chapter. I don't usually have my chapters planned too far ahead, but I at least know where the next one's going. This chapter became a whole lot longer when I decided I should throw in some like-age cannon characters, especially Arthur and Molly. They're both kind of one-dimensional in the chapter, but then again, Duke hardly knows them — except for when it comes to teasing. It was also fun having Professor Binns still alive, though barely. My copy of Quidditch Through the Ages will probably fall apart by the end of this story as much as I've had to reference it! Thank goodness JKR decided to write that one. As for Clio joining the design team, well, she'll have a role to play. That's for sure.
In the night I hear them talk, the coldest story ever told.
Once upon a time, hidden in the marshes, lost in the hills and sheltered by the forest, there lived, in a house, a special type of witch.
Many men tryed to pass through the forest, some men got lost in the hills and a few men stumbled across a house in the marshes.
The witch would greet each and every one of them joyfuly. Feed them, wash them, love them, drop them.
Many of these men never returned.
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.
The summary immediately caught my eye and I loved reading the prologue. This sounds like a really interesting fic idea and I can't wait to see where you take it. I especially love the last line with "left alive without living." Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you :) I think that was my favourite line too, so I'm glad you liked it.
Wow, you liked the summary? That's amazing, I'm no god at them, and this one was all my own work. Lol. Thank you so much for all you said :)
I really, really like this. Intruiging plot backed up with excellent writing and well written characters. I'm interested in seeing what happens next and can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Oh, wow, my first review! Well, I cannot stress to you how long this story has been knocking about in my head...I'm just relieved that I have finally posted it and it's out in the open. I'm very excited that you are wanting to know what's next, and I never really ever thought my writing was anything special. Thanks, much!
Summary: Remus Lupin and Potions class have never been the best of friends. And then he brews something unusual... “It’s like some kind of liquid Imperius! You tell me to do something and I want to do it!” Sirius shouted.
I thought this was great. I loved the interaction between all the Marauders and I loved the side bits with James and Peter. The mention of Remus and chocolate was funny, as was the things Sirius said. Interesting concept and you did a great job with this.
Author's Response: The Marauders are always so much fun to write--while you've got two going at each other, you've always got two others to make snide remarks. It's even more fun when it's Remus who's angry, since he isn't typically the one to get bent out of shape about things. Thanks for saying such nice things--and for the review!