Well, hello there :)
I'm Emma *salutes*
I'm a Ravenclaw.
I'm an avid reader.
I'm a haphazard writer.
I'm an occasional poet.
I'm a P.I. (QSQ 2009 Winner) Beta.
I'm me :)
Please, feel free to poke around at my fics and leave some reviews - reviews make the writing world go around! :D
Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you on a brilliant story. It was well written and interesting; I enjoyed the different POVS. It was my first time reading Sirius/Remus and I'd like to continue reading this ship! I think you portrayed the characters accurately - especially Remus. Although he is described as being better behaved than the rest of the Marauders, he's no Hermione. It was nice to see him not paying attention in class! I also liked the internal conflict; it would have been difficult to acknowledge the feelings they had, especially as it was the 70's. I also liked James's surprise at how an innocent pillow fight turned to something more : )
Wow - this is a really interesting take on a particular missing moment, one that I admit I've never actually paid much attention to.
I like your style of writing; it seems, in a way, to match quite accurately the style of JK and fits with the tone of the actual books, but at the same time, you manage to hold your own, and your writing also appears to be quite unique. Your power of description is lovely; you describe both the humourous and poignant scenes with ease and they possess a certain amiable quality to them.
Oh, yes, before I forget. I LOVE your characterisation of Dudley. While sticking with canon, and not wandering off on your own OOC tangent, you've also created new, realistic depths to the character. I find myself relating to Dudley's character - of course, despite the initial fear, there would be the curiosity concerning magic; it's magic, after all!
Vernon's characterisation is also spectacular, and absolutely hilarious.
I look forward to reading more of your chapters :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it! :)
Hi there! I was intrigued when I saw your poem; I adore the ship Lily/Severus, especially in poems. I have one on here too so I know it's harder than it looks!
Overall, I just love the idea of your poem - the lines you use are realistic and easily help you to imagine the situation and not only are they realistic, but they're detailed; I can clearly see it happening.
I love the first sentence and how it's repeated in the other stanzas. I also like the alliteration of the 'g' in the first sentence.
The imagery in the second verse is excellent - very well described, and you're talented at finalising the stanzas on a concluding, heartfelt note.
I love how you use the words 'kissed your forehead', I think that's so sweet :)
As for the last stanza; you depicted Lily's feelings flawlessly - you put what I always imagined she felt into perfect words. Also, the last sentence is amazing like the rest of the poem.
All in all, a very enjoyable though sad read! I'm interested in seeing what other work you have!
Author's Response: Thanks so much dear! It makes my day to see a new review! xoxo Margaret
Hello there Tim :D
I have finally got around to reading this; I remember a few months ago when I first joined MNFF I saw its summary and to be perfectly honest, it terrified me and I retreated happily into the Romance genre… Alas, I am now venturing into different genres and I plucked up the courage to read your fic. I applaud you :)
“Very well,” the teacher (still of unknown age, sex, and appearance) This cracked me up for no apparent reason. I guess it made me realise that without description of personal appearance, we’re lost! I have this vague, fuzzy image of a balding stout man with mousey hair…
“Oh my Godric!” screamed Girl A, since religious oaths didn’t seem to exist in the Wizarding world, and a substitute was needed. Teehee; I always imagined magical people being atheists… Hmm - imagine a nonreligious magical after-life! *considers getting herself excommunicated*
“You have two choices. Death… or HAGGIS!” I was in Scotland during the summer; I found the whole Haggis thing hilarious. I’d assumed it was cliché Scotland; like cliché Ireland has shamrocks and dancing, drunk leprechauns… It seems I was mistaken. I think I’d choose death, in this situation :D
Girl A was as cool as a cold cucumber that had been left in the freezer, then warmed up for a bit in toaster oven, and then put back in the freezer again, not that that simile made any sense at all.I don’t suppose anyone’s told you tha
t you’re a genius lately?
Hmm; much like your story, my review has digressed significantly. I’m off to read your other chapters! Congrats again on a great fic and converting me to your warped, Humour loving ways! I’m blaming you if I try to submit a dreadfully un-funny story that the Mods have to decline for the simple reason I seem to have misplaced my funny bone…
Greetings, Emma! I do hope you’ve returned your funny bone to its natural position! Anyway, my apologies for responding so late (school got in the way), but I would like to thank you for reading, enjoying, and reviewing this crazy, crazy story of mine. I’m very glad my story has drawn you away from the Romance genre!
Thanks again for the review, and good luck on your story.
~ Tim the Enchanter
Beautiful; simply beautiful. Everything flowed so well and you portrayed Severus' feelings perfectly. In fact, I felt like my heart was being torn apart too as I read this; his pain was so believable. Well done :D
Wow; I really enjoyed that! I'm surprised actually - who knew a pairing like that could turn out so well? The plot was very original and interesting; well done! I always did love Charlie...
I loved this; I honestly felt her pain and I could imagine her thinking all of this in a lonely cell in Askaban, just waiting till it was all over. I especially liked the line 'I hope you use this second chance, and don't move 'til you take a glance.' I thought that was really moving. What a sacrifice she made! Her love for her son was unconditional and it really knew no bounds. However, maybe you should think of renaming it to 'When I Am Gone' or something along the lines of that; it might attract more readers. Otherwise, brilliant :D
Author's Response: Thank you for the input! I'm so glad you liked my poem. I'm working on a more attention-grabbing title right now! ;-)
Hello there! You reviewed my Lily/Severus story 'Make It Or Brake It' ages ago and I meant to return the favour but I, er, forgot... *ducks to avoid pitchfork*
Anyway! I loved this chapter so much; it was incredible. I admire how deeply you delved into Severus' psyche - I truly felt as if I were reading JK's own work. His pain was so honest, so unapologetic it really made my heart ache.
“What if I changed?” Severus asked, a note of quiet desperation in his voice. “You tried to change me without my knowledge. Well, what if I tried, instead of you?” I adored this quote; I'd like to say there was this deep, intellectual reason why but there's not. I just simply loved the dedication in those few words.
Quite soon after that, James refers to Lily using her first name; doesn't he normally refer to her as Evans, especially in front of the Marauders? I'm inclined to think he'd only say 'Lily' in his own mind. But that could be just me...
Something small, but I couldn't help noticing you spelt 'woolen' incorrectly; the word is spelt woollen, double L. Sorry; I really read this chapter carefully, I wasn't looking out for things to criticise, honest xD
“T-they have forgiven each other, f-for everything that’s gone wrong, and t-they are h-happy…” What a simple, selfless wish; this, quite frankly, broke my heart. The whole scene did, to be truthful. I actually cried :S
“Because you want to feel, Severus, and that feeling makes you human." Another brilliant quote that really stuck with me. Also, you portrayed Dumbledore excellently.
Now, with that out of the way, I'm off to read the other chapters! Well done again :D
Teehee; it's like Extreme Makeover (:
"Your hormones do more thinking than you do, and the only thoughts that they give you are to try and shag Lily as hard as you can. That is,” he finished, his smile widening as he delivered the finishing blow, “when you’re not shagging Black for practice.”
‘Thou shalt not sin’ – Bible
Sirius knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to chase it. She makes him feel more than he’s ever felt before, but getting what he wants may cause him more heartache than he ever imagined. Thus begins a thrilling game, a game of vice and virtue, of betrayal and affection, of sin and atonement.
The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
I've a few things to say! First off, I love Caris; I think she's really well written and that she's a fully fledged character in her own right - she's not one of those annoyingly cliched OCs who are there for the sole purpose of being Lily's best friend and mating with one of the male protagonits. I don't think she's a Mary-Sue or even a Mary Poppins; but Godric I'd love to be her! Secondly I think you captured the essence and comraderie of the Marauders really well; I also like the fact you haven't made Peter this robe-wetting irritating follower because he was a Marauder before he became a traitor. Thirdly, I love the romance between Caris and Sirius - it's realistic enough to be relatable but passionate enough to dream about! And fourthly (hmm, is that a word?) I adore the way Sirius uses the word 'love' all the time. Keep up the good work :D
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it, and thankyou for taking the time to leave such a nice review!
I have been bawling my eyes out for like what - the past forty five minutes? Brilliant - so touchingly written. I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders; I'd forgotten how much I loved Fred :'(
What I love about this story is the your thoroughly effective and striking use of the second person narrative. This often difficult point of view is used expertly; it is woven intricately amongst the vivid, exquisite descriptions and realistic, poignant dialogue. The narrative adds an air of mystery and intrigue to the story - from the very first sentence, the reader is curious as to who has "scurried away from the glaring windows of the castle." As the story develops, it serves to further fuel the overall secrecy and uncertainty of the plot: the delicate and unstable relationship between Remus and Sirius is explored through a more in-depth and personal use of narrative: more distinctive than third person, yet more consuming than first person. The only fault I could find with the use of POV - and it is a minor one at that - is the use of past tense. I find it jarring to the intense prose and wonderful, descriptive imagery; I think it would have been more effective to use present tense, to really encompass the reader into the immediacy and almost impulsiveness of the relationship.
I also adore your use of repetition, particularly in relation to the tree: "…your tree. His tree. The tree." This image is so superbly poignant and touching, and the repetition especially reinforces that concept. The tree is something shared between them: it is theirs, and theirs alone. It is almost like a haven for them; a peaceful place belonging to them amongst the general chaos of Hogwarts, adolescence and socially accepted norms. Perhaps it is even like an escape, and may symbolise what their relationship means to them: something withstanding, strong, everlasting and enduring - it reminds me of a quote from Adrienne Rich's poem 'Power': " a cure… for living on this earth in the winters of this climate."
I love your use of prose; it is soft, yet strong, poetic, yet realistic, subtle, yet powerful, simplistic yet gloriously intricate. The story is short at 1104 words - just a beautiful snippet, really - and yet, it reads like a vivid poem, a romantic scene from a classic, old film, or a black and white, vintage photograph. When I read the story, I realise that the scene in my head is playing in black and white or sepia; never full-block colour. It is such a simple scene, yet it is wonderfully romanticised. I particularly love the line: "Your eyes were zoned on the initials; you studied the angle of his carvings, imprinting them in your mind, and you wondered if those initials would be forever together as they were on the tree, or if they would be divided and separated."
I really do enjoy slash relationships - it can be said that I am a slash fanatic, even - but I think that this particular pair - Remus/Sirius - is exceptionally lovely. I love the idea of a Marauder romance, regardless, and it is interesting to see one besides the regular James/Other Marauder. I feel the contrast of Remus/Sirius is sensational; they are, in fact, both terribly dangerous, but in entirely different ways. Sirius is the 'rebel' of the piece; reckless, impulsive and a tad audacious. Remus is wary, supposedly sensible, apparently precocious and utterly over-whelmed by the sheer magnitude between them. They are startlingly different, but surprisingly similar. They mesh. It is simple, really. They just work. It's natural. It's unforced. It's… real.
The element of 'addiction' is one that, in my opinion, is impressive. It's not too exaggerated, or excessive, but just enough to really amplify the feelings of Remus. The theme of addiction is one that is present throughout the story - and is repeated at various places - but for the most part, even when it is not stated, it is still felt. I, too, almost felt addicted; I wanted Sirius for Remus, Remus for Sirius, for them to be together, truly forever. It was perplexing; my chest felt tight for the entire reading of the piece, and when it was over, I was left wanting more.
Your portrayal of the characters was absolutely breath-taking. It was so true, so real, so secure, so comfortable, so… natural. The interaction between Remus and Sirius was fantastic. It merges friendship with romance, safety and security with something dangerous, new and exciting. I loved Sirius' characterisation in particular. There are so many cliches and stereotypes regarding Sirius in fan-fiction; he's an arrogant, womanising, confident, swaggering, witty, handsome adolescent boy. All of these qualities are perfectly acceptable - in small doses. These characteristics could very well describe Sirius - they're not exactly abstract and unfounded - but they're over done. Whereas the Sirius in this story is totally different, but still Sirius. He's vulnerable, raw, insecure, real and yet, still the reckless, almost careless character from the series: "you looked back to him, trying to read his emotions on his bare face, and saw only insecurity—his eyebrows were furrowed with hope and his eyes begged you for approval."
The slash element of the story was exceptionally well handled. It was subtle, it was there, it blended into the overall plot and it wasn't awkward or indeed, made a big deal. It was a love story. There was the secrecy, the insecurity, the uncertainty and the sense of it being 'forbidden', but the concept of slash wasn't constantly re-iterated or repeatedly over-emphasised. It was, to say it simply, perfect. Well done!
It was like a wizard tale. The clever Slytherin helps a hag who later repays the debt. Except that Rose Weasley wasn't a hag, and Scorpius didn't expect to call in the favour.
*Winner of the 2010 Next Generation QSQ award*
Okay, I felt like obligated to leave a review! I've never ever been into Next Generation fan-fics; especially Rose/Scorpius ones. But (please excuse how fan-girl I am here) OMGGG I love it :D
Don't feel obligated, that's like your mum making you eat your veg, lol, but if you're inspired, that's luv-er-ly. I've never written a next gen fic before, so we're even. ;) Thank you so much!
Aww; I love it :D
The whole Knut this was very clever :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!!! I'm so happy you liked my poem!! :-)
I really love this chapter. Your premise of this story is brilliant - interesting back-drop, great characters and some family history that's never really explored. I'm always in awe of how deeply you delve into minor characters, and how you can create these truly believable histories and engrossing family dynamics. You really do have talent, you know? Do me a favour and never stop writing, especially about minor characters ;)
Okay, one of the first things I noticed is Ron's use of the word lawyer. Lawyer is a Muggle reference, and I don't think it's especially suitable coming from Ron, a pureblood. He's more than likely aware of the word lawyer, just like in HBP when he recognised the word 'doctor'. "Doctors? Those Muggle nutters that cut people up? Nah, they're Healers." Is there a magical equivalent of a lawyer, perhaps, that Ron would say instead? Or, you could have him hesitate before using the word 'lawyer', trying to think of the word.
Your characterisation of Rita is amazing, it is really very good. The dialogue is particularly accurate, as she's constantly loading Harry with lavish praise and titles - melodramatic, ostentatious and theatrical gestures that you'd imagine in a flashy,sensational, sordid article in a tabloid newspaper. I'd love to see you write a Rita article, actually. I think it would be very entertaining!
As people before me have said, the line 'I don't think Draco will ever be free.' is exceptionally powerful and very touching. It's a very simple line, yet it's extremely memorable. It's one of those lines just stick in your head. It also sums up the horror that consumes the post-war Draco.
The Reiver Curse is fascinating - I can't wait to see how it plays out! I think it's a marvellous side-story, and it's something really original and a superb contrast to the Dean-centric plot. I can't wait to see how you've developed it in the other chapters!
Also, your Dean/Luna dynamic is really well-writtten. It's an element of DH that I would have really liked to seen explored. Luna is such an eccentric, and Thomas always appeared to be so normal, so average, so conventional almost. They're an unlikely pair, I'll admit, but then again, I think unlikely pairs are your forte ;)
I thought that the scene between Thomas and Andromeda was very touching, by the way. I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop Andromeda. I like the mixture of vulnerability and the sort of hard, gritty persona that I've always perceived Andromeda to have. The interaction between Andromeda and baby Teddy was also very sweet. I really did feel very sorry for Andromeda, so you portrayed her grief excellently.
I have to applaud your ending of the chapter. You must know by now that I'm a stickler for chapter endings, and you really pulled this one off very fittingly. The cliff-hanger really makes me curious to read the next chapter! Which, obviously, is the desired effect.
All in all, Carole, that was a truly enjoyable chapter. You're a very talented writer :)
Author's Response: Wow, Emma, thank you for that. It's been such a long time since I wrote that opening chapter, and I can see all sorts of bits I dislike now. Good spot about 'lawyer', I'm going to try and think of something else. They had a 'Law Department' but you're right and I need to think of another word. Ah, cliffs, I like them too - hee hee. I will get onto the next chapter be very soon. ~Carole~
Hi there :D
I couldn't resist reading this after seeing your banner on the forums! I love the idea of your poem - Neville's chance to prove himself a true Gryffindor. You've got talent, I have to say. I like your rhyming skills! The only problem I could see was rhythm and you can easily improve on that! Hope that didn't sound mean... Anyway, you're good and I hope to see more from you in the future; maybe getting better every time :)
Author's Response: Hello! I knew the beautiful banner would attract people to read it! I must thank BB again... I'm glad everyone liked the poem- I wrote it at like, 11 at night because I had to meet the deadline for Poetry Anyone on the boards. I guess it's true- you're most creative at night because that's when your Muse is a-partying. I did see problems with the rhythm, but I couldn't bother myself to fix them because I am a lazy monkey. Thank you for the review and I hope to see more from me in the future too! (I think my Muse is on a haitus...) ~M_W
Oh wow; that was beautiful! I won't analyse the stanzas or rhyming pattern or anything, otherwise I'll feel like I'm doing English homework! But I assure you; they were done well. I think your imagery is fantastic; I honestly felt like I was there, watching Severus and Lily lying in some long grass with the sun on their faces, a deep companiable silence before Lily unknowingly broke his heart forever. Oh, sad D:
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I really appreciate that =] I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Oh, Carole, thank Merlin you posted the second chapter! I read the first chapter ages ago, thought it was really interesting, and kept checking back for the next one. And now you have it up! I hope you'll follow with the next one soon - I'm hooked!
What I find so great about this fic is how you've shown Lavender's depths as a character, rather than taken the easy route and have her batting her eyelashes and giggling. There aren't many stories with Lavender, and more-so with her as a decent character. I also like how you show her reluctance to re-join the DA; not because she's a coward, but because she promised her father. It's nice to see that she's genuinely concerned for the Trio, Dean and her mother. Do we hear anything about Mrs. Brown in later chapters?
Another thing I find interesting is your portrayal of Blaise. I like the idea of him being a half-blood and sympathetic to Lavender's plight, though I have to wonder about his intentions towards her. Is it just merely a physical attraction or has he been admiring her from afar? He can't know much about her, really. Or is he just using her? Hmmm...
I find nothing to correct in this chapter, to be honest. I think your characters are all very IC - especially Ginny and Neville. I think you portray her reactions very well and how easily she flares up. I like the way you show Neville's transformation into the group's ringleader - it's a side we all knew he had, and it's great to see him being so brave.
Overall, a truly original plot-line, a well-written and interesting story and I can't wait to read more! Your work never fails to impress me. Hopefully, though, it won't take as long to update?
Author's Response: Thank you, Emma, for such a lovely review - especially as it's been one hell of a day for various reasons. I will be updating - hopefully soon as I definately have another two chapters planned - if not actually written. Hmmm, Blaise, well he may surprise you.
Thanks again and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Carole xxx
PS- your username always makes me smile. It makes me think Dumbledore is still alive.
Aww, I really liked this!
It was beautiful - everything flowed so well, and your description was fantastic; I really felt as if I was there, watching it all happen.
Your word choice was excellent - really provoking and exciting. Also, I loved the sentenes that Remus spoke :)
Overall, it was great and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work!