Good to see that you have finished the story! Best to take your time in developing a plot and dialogue so that you get it right. Hope that your beta approves the final chapters soon.
I am new to the story, but I like how it is going. I do find myself sympathetic to Draco-----A young man who has lost everything and has had to make a new life for himself without any help. Looking forward to the next installment.
Great Fic! I only found this story a few days ago, but keep the chapters coming.
I like it! I just picked your story up today. You have a whimsical point of view that is delightful. Nice to have a story that is not full of dark angst.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you like it!I love the the humor in HP, and although of course you see less of it as the books get progressively darker, it is still there - I am particularly fond of Dumbledore mildly terrorizing the Dursleys as he sits in their lounge. I think the collision of the Magical World and the world we know is by its very nature funny, and I'm enjoying that. These two are not the sort of people to dwell on their sadness, so not a lot of dark angst - no matter what happens. Glad you liked it!
Great to see you have posted another chapter. Lily is finally coming to admit that he might be reforming. I am distrubed that she is so unconcerned that Severus coould be seriously injured or killed if he is not warned immediately, just sothat she can be "sure" that is is sincere enough to suit her. I must admitt hat I had to read it several times to begin to figure out why Severus would go down to the Care of Magical creatures grounds diguised as Llily---he certainly wouldn't want to have the Junior Death-Eaters supect Lily as the saboteur! He certainly takes steps to protect Geoff O. when he uses polyjuice before in Chap 12. Hope you explain the amiguities in Chap 13----and what happened to Llewelyn? The authorities must be clueless and gutless to stand by during the attacks on Muggle-borns. Much like the thirties during the rise of Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, the Ku Klux Klan, and now other assorted dictators and terrorists. Post Chap 15 as soon as you can.
Author's Response: My underlying assumption (which may or may not be correct) is that the junior Death Eater types may harass or bully those who don't agree with them, but that they're not going to do serious harm to a half-blood who might actually serve a purpose-- they're at the stage where they are bullies, but not killers (yet). Think Draco before the assassination attempt on Dumbledore-- his activities with Crabbe and Goyle, stomping on Harry's nose, that kind of thing-- and that's what I was going for. The authorities at Hogwarts in Harry's time seem either oblivious to a lot that is going on, or willfully ignorant, and the students regularly take matters into their own hands, so I'm assuming that little has changed. Severus and Lily, just like Harry, are doing things by themselves rather than getting the faculty involved. As for him going down there disguised as Lily-- it's because he can't help himself. He has an excuse, and he's been wanting to do this for months. Plus, he is more concerned about the profs catching him than his roommates, because so far he has eluded the roommates pretty well. More about the Llewellyn plot in chapter 15, and I hope that clarifies it a bit-- of course, it's all clear in my head because I'm writing it, so it's useful to know what comes off as a bit fuzzy. :)
Good----another update. This seems to happen when I have been away from a computer. Hope that you don't wait until my next trip out of town to post the next chapter.
Good explanation about Llewellyn, a wizard version of AIDS, fits with the time period.
I try not to get involved with uncompleted stories because I can't just go on to the next chapter to find out what happens next. It can be chancy starting to post chapters before the story is completed. For example, author finds that more groundwork should have been provided for change in a character's motivations or attitudes, or for plot twists. Also a real chance that certain characters or subplots go nowhere. You have superbly avoided these pitfalls. yours is the best story I am reading on this site. I hope that you continue this fic. You are a skilled writer and I hope that you continue as a professional. Waiting for the next chapter!
Glad to se that you have posted new chapters. it 9s really getting good, This is my favorite Severus story oo the fan fics. Of course Voldemort is a Wagner fan. (chuckle) The Death Eaters are so Nazi. I have been trying to anticipate how this fic will work out. Obviously, if Lily ends up with Severus instead of James, there will be no Harry Potter----so who destroys Voldemort? If Severus realizes that Mary is really the girl for him, would he join the Death Eaters and later become a double agent? Many possibilitis of dark endings here. So fascinating, Severus trying to learn to banter with Mary and learn the social skills that he has obviously never had a chance to observe during his life up to now. I wonder how Severus will be able to keep this up without getting killed by his Slytherin housemates before the year is out.
Author's Response: Believe me, I get sidetracked by all these possibilities when I'm writing it-- JKR really has created a character with so many twists and turns. :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much-- and sorry it has taken me so long to reply (and to post another chapter). Real life has been pretty busy lately. I'm working on ch. 11 and should have it up before long. Thank you for the review!!!
Yaaaaaay A new installment of my favorite fanfic. This was a good transition chapter. I am sure many at Hogwarts would wonder why James Potter, of all people, would be selected as Head Boy. You have explained well the dearth of talent in the upper years of the school. Also I like seeing the story from James's POV----but don't give us too much of that. You do have to give James credit for some talents. He is popular with some students, certainly has athletic and academic skills, but assumes that everything will come to him. His bullying probably caused more by his privileged life and thoughtlessness, rather than a basic meanness and recklessness. Good for James to finally realize that he has to change his attitudes
Another great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one, but also want you to continue taking your time between posts to get them right.
I think that McGonagall had figured out who "Geoff" really is when he slipped briefly out of charcter. She is a very sharp lady with years of teaching experience who has seen all of students" tricks. Her transfiguration class was the target of the first junior Deatheater's prank; during the Quiddich match she saw the Slytherin attemps to blast Severus out of the sky, and she would certainly notice that Severus haddn't hung around with the Slytherin crowd since the start of the school year . Teachers do discuss their students in the faculty lounge, but Minerva is one who keeps her own counsel, as has been previously pointed out. Again, you always surprise me.
Author's Response: I agree-- I think McGonagall would be smart enough to figure that out, and, quite honestly, that he could have just gone to her and told her his theory as himself, minus the Polyjuice, without worrying about being revealed. But given the circumstances, he's allowed to be neurotic about being found out-- and to have some fun experimenting with Polyjuice Potion, which I take it that few are smart enough to manage. Sorry for the delay-- I have another chapter just posted (waiting for approval) and chapters 14 and 15 ready to send off to my betas for their points of view. Thanks for your patience-- I've been writing this for a long time now. :)
An early christmas present------an update, and with some new twists to the plot!
A different view of Tobias Snape, secretly proud of his son. And a completely new direction for Severus. He and James & Remus will have to learn how to work together now. Where will the plot go next? I can appreciate your working hard to turn the plot in a new direction with a "reformed' Severus who has to redouble his efforts to just stay alive in Slytherin house. Looking forward to your next update.
I seldom submit a review, but your story really understands the persona of Severus. I have had some experience with at-risk youth; your analysis of the teen-age Severus is an apt description of case studies in articles such as "Why Boys Join Gangs" in Educational and Psychological jounals. Snape"s background has all the elements: poverty, unemployment, abusive parents, crime-ridden slums, drugs, bullying, poor social skills. Few boys are able to make the break from the gang culture, but I hope that Severus is one of the successful ones. Some of the helpful tools you gave him was the religious encounter in the irish catholic church service, a mentor in Professor Llewellyn and the favorable reaction of a few Hufflepuff & Ravenclaw students. I am afraid though that his plan to sabotage the attack by the junior Deatheaters will backfire and that he will be too discouraged to keep fighting. It has always disturbed the that JKR always portrayed the Marauder"s viscious pranks as "fun'. I always saw James Potter and Sirius as spoiled, snobbish rich fraternity boys. Hogwarts has a disturbing tolerance for student bullying , both of Severus and later of Harry by Draco and Pofessor Snape. And over and over again Harry is let off the hook for defying school rules. I am eagerly awaiting your next chapters.
Author's Response: Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your interesting and thoughtful review-- busy time of year. I think JKR did a great job of making Severus Snape someone from a background that would believably lead him toward something like the Dark Arts without being an inherently sadistic or brutal person; I remember reading "Snape's Worst Memory" in OOTP and thinking that his teenage self was probably about one hex away from whatever the wizarding equivalent is of something like Columbine. And yes, it bugged me too that all that bullying was allowed to go on-- including Draco's treatment of Harry, Hermione and probably any number of Muggleborns, and Professor Snape's treatment of Harry and Neville in particular. The thing that bothers me the most about the Marauders' bullying is that they almost seem to get rewarded for it: Lupin is made a prefect to try to keep his friends under control, and James, after six years of asserting his dominance over everyone by hexing them left right & center, gets made Head Boy. After a few of the books, I just started taking it that this is how Dumbledore runs things-- he lets Draco bully Harry, but he lets Harry break the rules, for example. Not that I agree with it, but he tends somewhat toward a laissez-faire approach and, quite honestly, toward favoritism. Speaking of which, I suppose it's more realistic of JKR to have the good-looking, rich, spoiled, popular, athletic guy get the girl-- but it's so stereotypical. Personally, I don't think either one of them is a better person than the other-- JKR said something in an interview about Severus not deserving Lily, but if that's the case, James doesn't deserve her either. He seems to me to have as many flaws as Severus; he just has a more attractive and confident exterior and a mean streak that tends toward bullying instead of bigotry. James Potter has all the advantages-- a little bit of poetic justice for the underdog might have been nice. :)
I've been away but so good to see that you updated.Good explanation for the puzzles in the previous chapters. The dialogue between Sev and Lily is so witty and dellightfull. Hope you can post more soon. What story are they going to come up with to explaln themselves---ILt can ge good!
Author's Response: Glad you liked the latest chapter-- I'm just sorry it's taking me so long to write the next one! Obviously it's something of a transition. Just wanted to let you know that I haven't abandoned the story-- they have a long way to go, obviously.
I am glad to see that you have updated. It has been too long-------Please keep chapters coming. You have stuck to canon and kept within character very well. The final year at Hogwarts would have to be a very lonely one for Snape; he fears that Dumbledore's plan will not be ffulfilled and knows for certainty that one side or the other will kill him. Likely all for nothing.
Author's Response: Wow thanks! Snape is a challenge to write, but I love him so much I can't help it. I'm glad you think I've kept within character and stuck to canon appropriately - that's what I really want to achieve whilst trying to fill in some of the gaps in his story.
Good installment! I really liked the humerous touch of Severus's new fitness regime. Keep the chapters coming!
Author's Response: The new chapters will keep coming, don't worry. And for anyone who has started from scratch working out (myself being one of them), we can certainly sympathize with Severus' workout pain!
Well, this is different! I do want to see how this turns out, so keep writing. I had some internet connection problems, so I have a lot of work to catch up with, otherwise I would write more
Author's Response: I'm glad to have you reading, and reviewing. I am indeed continuing to work on this as my crazy mad life allows..... and I'd be pleased to see more comments from you when you have time and your internet boggarts have backed off !!
Please continue and post the next chapters as soon as possible. A lot of possiblitiesin considering the tightrope that Snape had to walk during the last year at Hogwarts. I always thought that in DH JKR gave the Snape character short shrift in his turmoil at hogwarts.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I totally agree that she really didn't paint a good and full enough picture of his activities in Hogwarts, and that is something that will be explored in greater detail throughout this story. First eleven chapters are written so there will be regular updates!
Thank you for sharing this story with us. I hope that in writing it that you can can find peace and comfort.
a few years ago when a very dear pastor of mine had cancer, he said that his last year had been a time of great sadness, but also of reat joy.
Author's Response: I really appreciate the review and your condolence given. I believe my grandmother would have thought along the same lines as your pastor. Thank you again!
Told from the POV of Felicity, Draco Malfoy’s daughter. Disregards the Epilogue. Contains slash, though nothing graphic.
Good start! You did get Felecity right as a bright , only child, who is around adults alot. Hope you can keep updates coming. Can be tricky to keep POV of a nine-year old. might have to switch to 3rd party narrative sometimes in future episodes,
Author's Response: Thank you! I was thinking about the POV -- I'm going to try and keep it all 1st person Felicity. Though of course that might have to change, but I'll try. :-) Thanks again!
Good poem! glad to see that you are trying a new genre. The challenge of poetry is to express your thoughts with an economy of words. It is harder to distill everything into a few perfect word choices than to ramble on for several pages of prose. I can't do that myself, but am dellighted tosee that you have succeeded.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I really wanted to try something different so it's great to see I succeeded :D
This is a good opening for a story. I really enjoy true historical fiction about other cultures and geographical regions in the magical world. The Harry Potter books are confined to contemporary Great Britian, but have a world-wide audience. Hope th aat you post another chapter soon.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm excited about this challenge, because it allows me to explore a bit of my own country's history and combine it with Potterverse in my own way. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can! ~LiLu