Hello, and welcome to my bio page! I work in sports media in the real world, so when it comes to Harry Potter fanfiction, I absolutely love anything Quidditch. It would be a thrill to play or cover a game like that!
My Current Story
The Fastest Yet This story chronicles the two Hogwarts students, Deucalion Wilcott and Ivan Berdahl, who created the newest racing sensation of the 1960s: the Nimbus broom.
First off, I had never read a Moody story before, and I think this story is spot-on characterization. There's a lot we don't know about this man, and I think this story does an accurate job of filling in the gaps of his personality. I read all three chapters in one go (so I'll probably reference all the chapters in a vague sort of order—many apologies). As much as I like the character of Moody, I've enjoyed the character of Elizabeth as well. They both seem very real, flaws and all.
Everything seems well thought out. I've enjoyed reading about the comings and goings of Mrs. Albright and her questionably existent son. It's the little details like this that really make this story stand out, I think. That and the ongoing conversations about rosebushes and fish. It certainly adds color to Moody and Elizabeth's friendship.
I thought the opening sequence of this chapter was very nice. The internal narration seemed appropriately disjointed and confused, considering Moody's physical state.
I'll second the enjoyment of the Poppy/puppy mixup.
He hadn’t laughed in at least ten months, shouldn’t be laughing now, really, and yet…
This line really stood out to me, as well as an earlier passing mention about never wanting to see his trunk again. That really a mystery about Goblet of Fire, isn't it? How horrible was it to be trapped in there, even if he was only aware of it for brief periods at a time?
All told, I've really had a good time reading these chapters, and can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review and I am so glad you like it! Moody fascinates me, and I can't imagine how he felt, knowing he was in that trunk and Barty Crouch was doing who knew what disguised as him. I can't imagine that he would just walk out of there feeling hale and hearty, no matter how amazing Poppy Pomfrey is. I'm glad you are looking forward to the next chapters.
Hello again! Just finished reading this chapter. What I really enjoyed what the way you have been able to incorporate your characters into the preexisting story of Order of the Phoenix. Because we don't know much about the Ravenclaws outside of Luna, your story reads in such a plausible way. This chapter felt like a "behind the scenes" of OotP.
I like the way Fred and George played a role in the distribution, albeit in a secondary way. (The way they feel about Umbridge, you know they'd be first in line to read the paper!)
Author's Response: Well, I'm just glad I've made a fan out of you. Can I except such lovely reviews for all my chapters?
Again, great chapter! I'm finally all caught up now, and can't wait to read more. The ending with the changing of the headmasters was another nice Order of the Phoenix tie-in.
“And so you know, Miss Turpin,” Professor Snape confided in her, “the crossword puzzle was highly amusing, although I’m not sure I wish to know how you found out Gregory Goyle still wets the bed.”
“As a journalist, I can’t ethically reveal my sources,” she told him smugly.
I loved that part. Also, I got a kick out of Morag being so pleased with her potential hand scar. As long as that sentence was, it must've taken up a lot of space!
As I've been reading these chapters, the thought hit me: how are they paying to print the paper? Lisa's brother is nice enough to do the work for free, but I think the price of paper and ink costs could eventually pose a problem, considering how often they go to press. Despite having the quality and durability (but not softness) of toilet paper, newsprint can be surprisingly expensive. Maybe this could be somehow incorporated later.
Author's Response: Hm, you've given me yet another detail to ponder. This will definitely be something I'll have to consider.
This chapter didn't have a review yet, but let's take care of that!
I have really been enjoying this story so far. It's very readable, and the premise is very interesting, especially to me because I'm a journalist (albeit a sports one). Stewart is an excitable character; I like the idea of him being part of the group. It seems like he might be more capable of accidentally revealing the secret of the newspaper, but I like him.
“Sleazy, but in a good way” was my favorite bit of dialogue. I laughed out loud even though I was at work in a computer lab.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story, but go easy on little Stewart; he's only twelve. And remember, it was lisa who revealed the secret of the newspaper. Snape only gave Stewart the potion recipe because he already knew what it was for. Otherwise, he likely would have told him to go away.
I second Natida. I loved your take on Neville, and it was great to get inside his head for a chance. He's a leader, but he still admits that long-held and very real fear of Snape (and for good reason). In addition to the characters, I think you captured the dreary mood of Hogwarts very well.
Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you like this story. I have to admit, Neville is a fun character to write. I may have to do more stories about him.
As an only child myself, reading about sibling dynamics is very interesting. With the current setup, Albus can get away with pretty well anything, can't he? In the imaginary sequel to this one-shot, I wonder if Ginny would eventually see through Albus' schemes. After all, Ginny did grow up in a house of all boys, namely Fred and George.
Author's Response: Heya, Racing Co! Thanks for the lovely review. And yeah, All the stuff that James does is actually Albus's "schemes" to get him into trouble. And you know what, you just gave me a plot bunny... hehe.................... thanks a lot, Racing Co.-------Nadia :D
I'll second everyone else to say that you really write description well. It makes your world so lively and real. What I like about it is that it is not dry description; it's description through action. In my mind, nothing's better than a strong verb.
The shop front was small and relatively uninteresting. It was dingy and the brown paint was cracked and peeling. A large sign, written in chipped antique style letters read “Dargen’s Antiques”. Rain was hitting the roof of the shop and running into the rusty gutters; it had already filled them to the brim, and was now cascading down the wall, creating a mini waterfall out of the shop front. The shop was run down; there were plants, now being battered by the downpour, growing from the cracks in the stone and the telephone number underneath the shop’s name was so eroded it was barely legible.
I really enjoyed this paragraph because it's packed with a lot of action verbs because of the rain, but I like how in the same paragraph, you brought the curious, old building to life as well. I'm very interested to see where this story is headed.
(On a very off-the-beaten-path comment, I'd also have to second Jenna's sentiments about getting her hair done for an event. What a chore! Especially if the event — like a wedding — only lasts thirty minutes.)
Here's one thing I noticed that you might want to think about, and it's a very, extremely minor thing. I noticed that many paragraphs start with the word "Jenna." Granted, she's the only named character in the chapter, but maybe you can find ways to shake up to break up the opening repetition a bit.
It's a very different kind of story, which makes it very enjoyable. I haven't read too many stories featuring a major Muggle character. I'm excited to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review Racer! I am so shocked that you all like my description! Lol I always used to hate writing description, but I am starting to like it more and more now! I alway see it as some can draw, some can desribe.. it seems only fair lol. Haha I agree about the hair thing, although really I like nothing better thanhaveing my hair fancy! I will go back and look at the start of the paragraphs :) and will definately watch out for it in my next chapter! I love having a muggle as a main character, she is someone we can all relate to, and she is lots of fun to write! Russia xxxxx
Wow. Talk about profound. This was very emotional, very real story, Carole. I loved how everything was pieced together. You wrote Ginny so well, and the character really took on a whole new meaning for me when I read the dedication at the end. It was really moving to me because I just got back from a funeral this afternoon and while — not nearly the same — I was reminded of the whole uncertainty of life.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. Sorry you had to read it on the way back from a funeral. Hmm, getting older and all its uncertainties - a lot to ponder on. *shivers*. Thanks again. Carole xxx
Great story! I thought you did a good job of writing with older, more elegant language (which in these modern days, we all too often lack).
Aside from that, I think you really excelled in the construction of the story. The conversation starts on begrudgingly friendly terms and gathers a full head of steam by story's end. I liked Slytherin; you gave him appropriate — or at least understandable — reasons to be resistant to Muggle interference.
Author's Response: I just finished beta'ing your story =P. Thank you so much for the review! It was written quite a while ago... I should check this more often! It's so nice to hear that you liked my story! I had a really hard time writing it, and kept getting writer's block ever five minutes. Thank you so much for your kind words!
This was a very fascinating read. Thank you for writing it! I loved how you pieced together the story; it really read as a mystery. I was curious from the start and just got sucked into the rest of the story. You were able to pack in a lot of material into a single one-shot, which was very impressive.
Makes me wonder though: I wonder what other kinds of secrets are contained in the Healer's diary?
Author's Response: Thank you. I loved writing it. The more I'm glad you liked it. And who knows? Maybe my muse will think of something, one day. ;)
I haven't read much in the way Tonks/Lupin fics, but I thought this was absolutely fantastic. It was charming and sweet without going overboard on the cuteness. It's a tough line to walk. I thought you picked a very good "untold story" that suited an all-dialogue challenge well. I think half the battle for the Gift of Gab is picking a tale that can be easily told by conversation.
Anyway, I really liked your portrayal of Tonks. She's a fun character, isn't she? You made her very lively, and I enjoyed the whole side story about wrestling the squid. That seems like such a plausible thing, knowing her!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. When the restriction was put in no Marauder Era, I was at a loss. So, I got to write a Marauder and include a bit of Marauderishness in my story. If you haven't read it yet and are looking for a great Remus/Tonks fic, I would suggest Carole's (Equinox Chick) Apparently Asleep. Thanks again, Terri