Penname: weasleywannabe47 [Contact]
Real name: call me Wes (even though I'm a girl)
Member Since: 08/11/08
Website:
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Member
Bio:
The first thing you should know about me is that I am a Christian. I love God with my whole heart and I am eternally grateful to Him for sending His Son to die for me. If you have a problem with me about this or with Christians in general, feel free to keep your opinions to yourself because I KNOW MY GOD IS REAL AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE HOW I FEEL.

I'm Wes. I'm from the southern region of the US.



I love movies. Especially Hallmark movies. Sap is bomb. :)

I love to read. Among my favorite books (beside Harry Potter) are:
The Note -- Angela Hunt
The Homelanders Series -- Andrew Klavan
A Corner of the Universe -- Ann M Martin
Double Identities -- Margaret Peterson Haddix
The Hunger Games series -- Suzanne Collins

My favorite music is everything from country to Broadway.
My top 5 are probably:
1 Owl City
2 Sugarland
3 Alison Krauss
4 Brooks and Dunn
5 Kellie Pickler

I have a taste for history, and I can often be found watching educational channels.

I'm a poet, along with being an aspiring novelist.

I will probably never post any fanfiction, but I do greatly enjoy reading it.

This website has helped me make a ton of friends, and learn a lot more about writing.

[Report This]
Reviews by weasleywannabe47
 

Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!

WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.

It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?

New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.

Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 183223 Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/09/08 Updated: 03/15/10


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 07/28/09 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19: In Which Ivy Finds Fun In The Unlikeliest of Places

emember when I was at the Malfoys’ back in December, you went and tried to visit me, and mo
-If sge's starting to say 'Mom', the 'm' should be capitalized. This still goes for anytime parents are mentioned in that context whithout 'my' in front of it.

Oh, and I think Jordan wants to be a singer when he gets older, by the way.

I LEURVED this chapter- I thought it was very deep, and well written.

Will we ever hear the potato joke, fully? Or is it too dirty? ;)

Author's Response: You're right about the capitalization thing, and I am dummmmmm. I'm glad you liked the chapter, though! As for the potato joke, I never came up with the whole joke! It was from a roleplay my friend and I did when I was twelve, and my friend made it up, but it was only, "Professor Zabini should... and a potato?" We got the idea from a Monty Python sketch where this guy is reading a 'children's book' and then it starts to get dirty, so he flips a few pages, does a double take, and says, "...with a MELON?" So, no, there's no full potato joke. But I'm sure it'd be very dirty if there was one, I just can't think of anything inappropriate enough.

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 08/23/09 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20: In Which Things Start To Heat Up

“No,” he replied staunchly, with a defiant tilt of his chin. “Of course not.” His voice cracked, and suddenly, he lost control, great shuddering sobs wracking his body. “I’m bloody terrified,” he croaked, burying his head in his wife’s shoulder.
-Mmn. This sounds a lot like the 'movie Ron' in my mind then the Ron we see in the books.

Thomas,” Zabini said in a dangerously soft voice. “You have…” his voice cut off, and his face froze, and he suddenly exclaimed, “EUREKA!”
-Because a potato is the next ingredient in a potion he's making? *eyebrow wiggle*

This chapter was exteremely confusing. Jordan's telemeny was told to where you couldn't understand exactly what he was doing- almost as if Jordan didn't know himself.

You might simply be trying to show how confused Jordan is, if so forgive Wes. :)

I liked this chapter, nothing W00T-ful, but it was good.

---
My internet has been down for 5 days (WAAAH), so I'm trying to get caught up on my reviewing business.

I will be so sad once this story ends! It's become a big part of my reviewing style, and has really involved me with the characters.

You have brought me a lot of laughter with this story and it has really helped me with my own writing.

Never stop writing, Schmergo. You are truly a wonderful author.

-Wes

Author's Response: I think in a lot of ways, it sounds more like movie Ron because he's 'wimping out.' I was almost trying to do the opposite-- showing Ron cracking to the point where he admits how upset he is, which is supposed to be a big deal. I forgot about movie Ron lessening the impact of that. ^_^ AND JORDAN'S BIT WAS SO CONFUSING. That's why I didn't like this chapter. I couldn't express in words what I imagined it was like. No matter how many times I revised it, it just wasn't happening. But I guess Jordan can't describe it in words, either. :--(

I am going to be so sad once I get the final chapter up, too! Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews, Wes. I think the part that meant the most to me is that you got really involved with the characters, because in writing these stories, I have gotten so ridiculously attached to mah protagonists!

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 03/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Has A Bad Experience With A Hobo

~~~No nitpicks

~~~Review:

Schmergo, I'm going to have to be a bit of a meanie, I'm afraid.

During the scene with Ted and Lupin, they seemed to talk in circles.
Lupin stated his point, and Ted asked what had already been phrased and....
But that may be you trying to show how freaked out Ted is about the whole situation. If that's the case, don't hate me!

Tyrone and Emma are so IRKSOME! Just date, yot evil people, date!

This chapter was....my least favorite so far.

It passed.

6.3/10

Once again, don't hate me please. I don't try to offend.

~~Spam:

Hiiii! I've waited itchily for your return!

Bye,
Wes who hopes she didn't offend Madame The_Impaler!

Author's Response: Hey, I don't mind meanie reviews. I felt this chapter needed a meanie review. I edited and edited it, and drafted and drafted it, and just couldn't get it to accomplish what I wanted it to. With the Ted scene, I just didn't want it to be one of those things like, "Hey, this is life changing." "Cool, thanks, bye." You know-- where people get used to something really, really quickly that should have more of an impact? But I just couldn't figure out how to write it properly. That's why I took so long to update! I'm not offended at all.

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 04/09/09 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15: In Which Tyrone Is Unpleasantly Surprised

~~~Nitpicks

Ted certainly lacked grace, and Ivy was nervous and shy by nature, but simply swaying together, they looked as natural as a pair of trees waving in the wind.
-Okay... oddish, but cute...

Here eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed from the dancing. As the song ended, she happened to glance over
-'Here' should be her.

cause you and e both know
-I'm not sure what the 'e' is supposed to be, but it's not right the way it is.



~~~Review:


“Und now,” the boy whispered in her ear in a strange little accent, “ve dahnce.”
-MY. FAVORITE. LINE.


This was a very good chapter! It fleshed the characters out very well and left you with vague mysteries on each one.

9.3/10

~~~Spam:

Wow, you're nearly seventeen! You'll always be just turned sixteen! to me, because that's the first time I read your profile!

AND CONGRATS!

I was so proud of Voldy's Deathpants (sorry, I'm not sure how to do bold) and Jordan!

You were very deserving.


"He is not here for He is risen...." ----Happy Easter!

Bye,
Wes

Author's Response: Ha, thank you so much! You, Wes, are my first reviewer for this chappie! And I'm so happy about the Quicksilver Quilllls... Yeah, it'll be weird to be seventeen. I feel like I've been sixteen forever. Tyrone is a cutie...

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 09/28/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Has A Bad Experience With A Hobo

OH.MAH.GAWSSSH! Ted?!? *sigh*

I actually like the way it turned out though, nice and violent (hehe)

So...when are we going to get our death? I'm braced and ready!

Author's Response: Thanksssss! There is some deaaaath in one or two chapters.

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 12/08/08 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10: In Which Ivy Has A Very Malfoy Christmas

The first Potter-y part was good.
The Malfoy part shocked me.
Torture.Evilness.
It was alot to take in one chapter, to be honest.
Now we know why Ivy's so,....ummm...reserved.

*Also, I just submitted my first story! *FINGERS CROSSED!*

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! AND BEST WISHES FOR YOUR STORY!!!! Let me know how it does.

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 12/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Has A Bad Experience With A Hobo

Oh Schmergo.

This chapter hit home with me.

I have been supporting someone dear to me through the loss of someone they love, and the way Ted, who had always been a pillar for Ivy, now had to lean on her.

This has how the realtionship with the person and I has been and you captured the emotions beautifully.

I read this awhile ago, but I couldn't even find words to describe how I felt.

Thank you, so much, for this chapter.

I cried the whole time, you have absolutely no idea what this meant to me.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this beautiful review. And I'm incredibly grateful that you think I handled this well, because I don't have any experience with that sort of situation myself, and I hoped I'd be able to convey it.

 

Summary: In the dead of the night, someone steals Harry's Marauder's Map.

What happens?

Insanity, hilarity and catastrophe, of course! (This wouldn't be a humour story if it didn't, would it?)

As different people try to activate the Marauder's Map, the four infamous Marauders answer back, in their own wonderful style.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 886 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
07/17/08 Updated: 07/20/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 08/13/08 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: In Which Parvati Patil Is Shocked

THIS STORY IS AWESOME!UPDATE SOON!!!!!

Author's Response: THANKS SO MUCH! MY CAPSLOCK GETS STUCK SOMETIMES TOO! And yes, I'll definitely update. :)

 

The Secret Life of Hugo Weasley by Phoenix13
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Hugo Weasley is a great kid. He is a master at Quidditch, chess, maths, and books. He can't wait until his first year of Hogwarts like all his cousins and his perfect older sister, Rose.

That's why he's devastated when it doesn't come.

Hugo and his family must now figure out how to cope with this new situation. Will Hugo attend a Muggle school, befriend non-magical children, and somehow remain Ultimate Master of Chess through it all?

Find out through the eyes of an eleven year old boy in his journal.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3286 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
07/30/08 Updated: 08/10/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 08/12/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is a great story and I love how Hugo just like your average kid!Update soon!

 

Rubia by luinrina
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Changes can be frightening, and Hagrid is more than just nervous about the change that is currently occurring in his life. Will he keep his nerves to stay strong? And, especially, what kind of change is he facing?

~*~


This is luinrina of Hufflepuff writing for the I Challenge Thee Challenge, answering the challenge MissyQuill left.


Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1543 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/07/08 Updated: 08/19/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 11/30/08 Title: Chapter 1: Rubia

I agree with inspirations,they might've been too old,but this was written believably.
PLEASE ADD MORE!!!*puppy dog face*

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and the review. :) Right now, I'll not make it a chaptered. I'm bugged by other plot bunnies. <.< lol

 

Something Worth Fighting For by messrs_inc
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: Eight year old Lily Potter, the spitting image of her mother, is brought up to know that family is important. She has been present at family reunions for as long as she can remember, and she absolutely loves her big family. One day she comes across a picture of a man she has never met before in a family photo album. Perplexed, she asks her father who the man is…

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2884 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/07/08 Updated: 08/19/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 08/19/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Great story!Lily is how imagined her to be!
The beetles in the soup....I can only imagine how much Fred would have loved to have a tribute like that!

Author's Response: Haha you liked the beetles in the soup too? I think that that was one of the only small things I slipped in which was there in the first draft and which has stayed there the whole way through. Thanks so much for the review!

 

Summary: Kasia Leven has always hated her name. The mispronunciation of it drives her up the wall. Why must she always correct those who call her “Ka/zi/ar” to “Ca/shar”? Why must she be blessed with such a terrible name? But as Kasia learns more of life and growing up, the love of her name grows with her.

I am mudbloodproud of Hufflepuff and this is my final exam for Prof. Jojo's Strictly Summarizing Class

Summary written by jojo_dolphin2394

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3298 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
08/11/08 Updated: 08/14/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 10/12/08 Title: Chapter 1: Advice From An Old Woman

This is really a good story!Are Kasia's other adventures gonna be different chapters in this story,or be one-shots?
~Southern belles follow the Son~

Author's Response: The story is going to continue as chapters. There is quite a bit of her story left to tell. Thank you for yoru review. I am working on more of her story and it will soon be posted. Terri

 

Remembering the Freak by ritaskeetertobe
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Petunia Dursley didn't think much about Lily. That is, until she found Lily's old diary in her attic...

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1718 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/24/08 Updated: 08/30/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 08/30/08 Title: Chapter 1: Remembering the Freak

Oh,this was so sweet!This shows the more sisterly side of Petunia that when she read her sister's diary!
Is this a one-shot?
~Southern belles follow the son~

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yes, this is a one-shot! And I'm glad you liked it! ~margaret~

 

Thunderworks by Deluxe Sugar Quills
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Teddy is the king of the school, but he doesn't want the position. Only Victoire really listens to him.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1038 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/28/08 Updated: 09/05/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 09/18/08 Title: Chapter 1: Thunderworks

Beautiful story!But,shouldn't this be in the romance category?
~Southern belles follow the Son~

 

Lost by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Past Featured StoryAlbus Potter is lost: guilt and grief have driven him to a desperate search for the Deathly Hallows, and Harry must confront his son before it is too late. Their confrontation, however, ends in disaster as Albus disappears with two of the Hallows.

As he continues his search for the Resurrection Stone, Albus remembers the shadowy road that lead him to his confrontation with his father – and must face both his brother and the tragic loss that has driven him so far down dark paths.

Albus must journey deep within to conquer the darkness that surrounds him. Will he find what he seeks? Or will Albus be lost to his loved ones forever? This story is now complete.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Slash, Violence

Word count: 20197 Chapters: 7 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/02/08 Updated: 03/28/10


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 11/08/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - Confrontation

That was an interesting take.New,fresh.Continue!I wanna know what happlens!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading this story. I'm so glad you found it new and fresh. I really appreciate the review, and I do hope to continue it someday. Thanks again! ~Gina :)

 

Summary: Nineteen years had passed since the battle at Hogwarts, and all had been well. Harry’s children had started attending Hogwarts. It is Albus Potter’s first year, and with it starts a new adventure: the Triwizard Tournament is about to start, and Albus finds himself more involved in it than he would have liked.

Join Albus and his gang, which includes his cousin Rose Weasley, a Death Eater's son by the name of Scorpius Malfoy, and Muggle-born Andrew Strathmore, as they find themselves in the midst of danger as soon as their first year starts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. EDIT: This story is abandoned, and is in the process of being rewritten with an older Albus. I realized that having a first year in the TWT wasn't the best idea :/

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 37899 Chapters: 15 Completed: No
Published:
12/08/08 Updated: 12/25/11


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 07/01/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Surprises and More Surprises

every five years
-Every four.


I'm very ready for the tournament to start, because it's a tad uneventful thus far.

It's still quite enjoyable, just not action-y.

7.33/10

Author's Response: Heya Wes! The Tournament is gonna start soon...just not within the next couple of chapter. Of course, there are gonna be classes, the choosing of the champions, then the big shock--oops, I'm telling everything, aren't I? Hehe... and just 7.33?? Aww.....*sniffs*. lol. See ya! Miss you on the forums, man, where are you?? ---Nadia

 
Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 03/28/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Songs and Sortings

~~~Nitpicks:

“Ah, Hagrid,” he said pleasantly. His voice was quite deep and strong. “The new students. Thanks a lot. You can go up to the feast if you wish. I’ll take it from here.”
-Neville is all business up until students, then he slips to casual. This is awkward

~~~review:

Nice chapter, good job on Al's shock after Scorpius's sorting!

6.9/10


~~~Spam:

I miss you guys on the forums!

Bye,
Wes

Author's Response: WES!!! Thanks for reviewing!!! Thanks a lot for the nitpick! Glad you liked the sorting, there's more fun to come! LOL. I miss you guys too........ I can't come on the forums nowadays, 'net time is limited for me. Stupid exams...*grumbles*. LOLLLLL! C YA!!!!---Nadia

 

Summary: It's that time of year. Time for an untimely winter ball, and Emma Weasley is not thrilled about Tyrone Thomas' relentless pursuit if her. But will his terrible singing and creepy stalker-ish antics woo her at last? And what the heck is Jordan Potter up to? DH is very disregarded. No Albus Severuses here.

I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House, and this is my submission to the Winter Snows thingy, in the "Melting a Winter Heart" category.

Categories: Melting a Winter Heart Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 8187 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/21/08 Updated: 12/23/08


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 12/31/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

~~~Nitpicks:
When Haley was singing 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs', you had a 'e' on the end of 'Merry'.

~~~Reveiw:
Anyway, I screamed bloody blue murder when I came to the Giorgi/Jordan part.
My dad asked me if I wrote this story that I was reading.
I told him my writing-role-model wrote it.
He just walked away.
He walks away from all things Harry Potter.
Tyrone was fluffy in this story!
I was really excited when I read the 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs' thing. I love that song sooo much.

Excellent story!
8.7/10

~~Spam:
My story got rejected! *cries from the lasting pain*
It was too short and cheesy, so I'm working on a Marauder story and a Dumbledore one-shot!

Bye,
Wes...who is a girl!

Author's Response: Hey, thank you, Wes! I put the 'e' on the end of "Merrye" to make it seem like Old English, but you're not the first to nitpick that, so I guess my point didn't come across well. Oh, and thank you so much for the LOVELY, LOVELY compliment about being your 'writing role model!' You're making me blush here! And yes, Tyrone was so fluffy, but I had so much fun.

Oooh, I'm sorry about your story being rejected. *Gives you Consolation Internet Pumpkin Bread* I was a member of MNFF for almost a year before my first story got accepted... I think I have more rejections than anyone else on MNFF. (I still get rejected all the time, too.) But keep trying!!!

 

Summary:
When Romilda Vane decided on a nighttime walk, she didn't realize that it would change her life. After she woke up in St. Mungo's and heard the news that she was attacked by a werewolf, Romilda must learn to see herself through a different perspective. Thanks to confusing dreams, strange messages, and a rather annoying fellow patient nearby, it became something she will never forget. One-shot, with cheese on top.

Excerpt: Spinning polygons were quickly replaced with circles and swirls. Colours blasted through my mind. Patterns that made me dizzy danced past my eyes. The shifting got faster and faster, and the colours grew brighter and brighter, until everything disappeared...

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3406 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/23/08 Updated: 01/07/09


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 01/08/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

~~~Nitpicks:
I examined my body, and then almost vomited up whatever I had eaten last.
-This sentence sounds as though a small child is talking. I would cut it off, starting at "whatever."

My life had just spiraled down the loo.
Again, this sounds as though a small child is speaking. As Romilda is shown to be a very controlling person, 'out of control' would suit her more.

and my middle fingers were a tad longer than I’d remembered.
-Are you actually speaking of the finger or the nail? If you are talking about the nails, then, it's normal.
But if the finger itself, it's a tad weird. You might want to say 'all my fingers' or cut that out completely.

Light was good.
-What kind of 'light' are you talking about? Are you saying light was good in the situation, or just saying light in itself was good?

The language was unnecessary.

But all of that was just me. :)



~~~~Review:
It was dark again.
-I like this sentence. It shows how dark Romilda's world is truly becoming, and how it will always seem so dark. Good description.
This story was very well written. Romilda didn't venture too far out of character, and you portrayed her as what she is: a lonely teenager.

Excellent story! Write more, please.
It would make a brilliant chaptered fic.

~~~~Spam:
I now ship Romilda/Geoffery.

Bye,
Wes....who is a girl.

Author's Response: Okay, I was researching lycanthropy, and the long middle finger-thing was a common symptom. I know it doesn't really fit and it wasn't in the books, but it was interesting, so I added it in. 'Light was good.'-Romilda is a bit freaked out about the message on the bedpost, and in the suspense, she wasn't thinking straight. Most teenage girls do such. (So yeah, in the situation.) I'm glad you liked the story, though. I wrote the first rough drafts of it about two years ago. The dream was the most fun to write, definitely. (Personally, my dreams never make any sense.) I always pictured Geoffrey as thirty or forty years old... Creepy, but whatever. Thanks for reviewing! -Halle

 

Your Son by MerrryD
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary:

It wasn’t that he didn’t love Astoria – he did.

He just wasn’t sure he could love a child.

Draco Malfoy was never one for fathering. Little kids disgusted him; babies horrified him. And yet, Astoria is pregnant. As it comes down to the final hours, he is torn between his love for his wife and his contempt for a small blonde one. Is Draco a man of his head or his heart?

For Joanna.



Categories: Draco/Other Character Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2038 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/06/09 Updated: 01/16/09


Reviewer: weasleywannabe47 Signed
Date: 05/22/09 Title: Chapter 1: Your Son

Nitpicks:

The baby he didn’t want, causing the one thing in the world he did love pain.
-I'm fairly sure there should be a comma after 'love'.

Slap! She’s in pain. She needs me. I want to go to her. Slap! It’s that – that thing! Do you really want to see it? Slap! I love Astoria. Slap! Do you want to watch her go through all that pain and then look at it like it’s the only thing that matters in the world? Slap! Astoria – she’s screaming again. Slap! Because of that awful, wretched, life-destroying – Slap! Astoria!
-I think what wasn't in parentheses should've been, and vice versa. I think it makes it flow better.

Review:

Draco didn’t hear anything she said, except for the last two words. Your son. Your son. Your son. My son. Before, the baby had always been just that – “the baby”. No gender, no one that it belonged to. Just “the baby” or “it”. And now, this woman, with her burning eyes and harsh tone, had gendered it and given it a family.
-I LOVE this line! It's my favorite!

This was a wonderful story, one of the VERY few I've seen that characterizes Draco well.

8.6/10

Good job, Mere! I miss all ya'll on the Forums.

Bye!,
Wes

 
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AU. Severus and Remus forge a damaged and damaging relationship in the aftermath...
Turn to Stone by iLuna17 1st-2nd Years
One summer's night in Hogwarts, two statues are given one night to be human.
Ashes of the Past by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Viktor carries the memory of Grindelwald's path of destruction, passed down...
What War Takes by WeasleyMom 6th-7th Years
War takes things and keeps on taking them, and the things it takes don't come...
The Observer Effect by Squibstress 6th-7th Years
Minerva is a watcher. Mostly, she watches Severus. She sees through a glass...
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