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in and out.

here and there.

who even knows anymore.

where did the good times go.

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Reviews by Vitamin Vicki

Excerpts from Nagini's Diary by Scheherazade

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A look into the life of Voldy's pet snake, Nagini.
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/30/08 Title: Chapter 1: Memiors of a snake...


I read this story way back in, like, October, but I didn't have an account then, so I didn't review this. :o YOU. ARE. BLOODY. HILARIOUS. *is off to review the 6 other chapters*


Vicki :d

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this story! :-D I hope you like the other ones just as much!

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/30/08 Title: Chapter 2: Say It Ain't So!?

Day 833 was pretty much priceless.


Love it.

Vicki :d

Author's Response: LOL! Thanks!

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/30/08 Title: Chapter 3: It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!!!

*sighs* Poor Nagini. How abused she is.

Vicki :d

Author's Response: Yeah, poor Nagini.... :-( Imagine having to live with Voldy???

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/30/08 Title: Chapter 4: Constantly Gardening


Vicki :d

Author's Response: *grins* xD

The Son of the Grim by James Jameson

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It was thundering like mad now. The rain was pounding down in all directions. Sammie coughed and spluttered as she stumbled out of the lake, gasping for air and dragging Lucy’s unconscious body with her. “Aunt Beatrice!” Sammie shouted over the wind and rain. “Aunt - Aunt Beatrice!” Sammie laid Lucy down in the overgrown grass, wincing at the scarlet blood that was dripping from the wound in Lucy’s side and neck from where the mermaids had pierced her. “Aunt Beatrice! Where are you? AUNT BEATRICE!” Panting and heaving, Sammie tried to support her bleeding friend, whose blood has now soaking Sammie’s robes even further. She glanced around, scouring the grounds despairingly. No one came. She screeched in desperation, pulling Lucy off the ground and searching for any sign that her aunt was here. “Aunt Beatrice...?” she whispered hopelessly, crying now. No one came. “Help me...somebody...please,” She began sobbing uncontrollably now. Her tears mingled with rain and blood, seeming as though they poured right through her skin and were drowning her. She felt as though someone was lifting her by the back of her robes. Is this how it feels when you’re lifted to heaven? Am I dying? She didn’t know that, and she didn’t know whose arms were wrapped around her. All she knew was that they had failed, Aunt Beatrice had betrayed them, Verudka was now dead, and Lucy was surely dying.

Slytherins and Gryffindors hate each other. Malfoys and Potters hate each other. But can one fateful trip to Diagon Alley, a potion, and tragedy change all of that for Sammie and Lucy?

Note: All Reviews will get a Response!
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 12/23/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - Married, with Children

You've got a really good plot so far, Tine. And your characteration was so... spot-on. It was amazing! Especially when Draco came in. I thought Ron reacted a little spastically in the end, but otherwise - I applaud you. :)

You might want to consider getting, erm, another beta, my love. You've got some grammar errors, as well as some spellings. In your summary, too... :) I'll help you if you want.

Again, your characterisation was <3. I'm going to keep on reading... 

Author's Response: Fish... help PLEASE?!? i'd love it! i wouldn't trust no one but youuu m'love! and thanks.. i love characters! :D

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 12/23/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - A Letter and a Sneeze

[gets chills] nice cliffie at the end, Tiney. Again, your characterization was great- it seemed just the way Harry would react about houses. :) But also, again, consider getting some more people to look this over... :)

I want more!

Author's Response: BE MY BETA AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE MORE!!! pleasee?? :D

Potter's Pentagon: The Truth (Book Two) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.

WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!

Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.

Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.

And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?

Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.

Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/28/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Spends Most of the Chapter Being Surprised

I haven't reviewed this? I'm sorry. :< Haha. It would fill a page to put in all my excerpts, though I must say I agree with you when you say you don't like people like Arden in real life. (You said that, right? This is just from memory...) And you make me chuckle chuckle with all the Haleyisms. Like, actually, out loud. It's fine though; my family already thinks I'm pretty weird. :D Sorry I didn't go through and review each seperate chapter! Typing review is getting me really annoyed, I don't know why but I keep spelling it wrong, which bothers me, because I'm picky with spelling... Argh, sorry for the random lameness. :o

Vicki c:

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much! I certainly didn't expect you to go through and review every chapter-- don't you worry. When I said I don't like people like Arden in real life, I meant *in general*, because some Ardenish person might be really nice, and I don't want to offend anyone who is like Arden.

A Black Tonks by Mistletoe

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It's the biggest battle I've ever faced in my life: my blood or my love? The two can be ambiguous, but in my case, they are black and white, day and night. I had been seemingly repressed by my family for too long, so I did the one thing that allowed me a choice. I ran away.

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 08/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow! This story is wonderfully written, quite amazing. Brilliant! You had the characters' personalities completely captured, and it's incredible how you portrayed this. Especially since you wrote it in first-person - undoubtedly harded than writing this piece in third. Some nitpicks...

'A heavy feeling of tranquillity settled in my chest, erasing all that I had just done and replacing it with the feeling of him.' Unless there is some British spelling I don't know of, 'tranquility' has only one L, not two.

'I listened as his soft footsteps as they faded away.' This part doesn't make sense. It should say, 'I listened to his soft footsteps as they faded away' or 'I listened as his soft footsteps faded away'.

'As we reached the Atrium, I turned to him, unable to hide my smile of joy, and saw and equally as brilliant a smile upon his face.' It should be 'and saw an equally as brilliant a smile upon his face'. You put 'and' instead of 'an'.

'They were eyes that believed I was nothing more than the man standing beside me—a Mudblood, a bloodtraiter.' It should be 'bloodtraitor', right?

'“We blew her of the tapestry, of course,” she replied as she pulled out her wand.' It should be off the tapestry, not of.

Sorry, for the nitpicks, *blushes*, but I have been quite the spelling and grammar Nazi lately.

Oh, and I especially liked this:

'His eyes bore into my apparently tell-tale slanted ones. This was the reason I was here tonight. He knew everything about me almost incessantly; he knew me better than I knew myself.' This is an amazing thing. It really captures the feeling - one of my favorite pieces from the story.

All together, I enjoyed this story immensely. It was great, and I usually am not one to enjoy romance fics - I usually stray towards humour. ^_^ I loved it. Good job! You write impeccably well! (It's actually kind of scary!) ... (That, my friend, was a really bad joke. c: )



Really Wicked: Stephen Schwartz's Wicked Gone Potter by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It's another spoof by Schmerg_The_Impaler!

This time, it's "Wicked," by Stephen Schwartz, remodeled to tell the story of Voldemort's life!

I also have spoofs of Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and High School Musical on my profile, if anyone would care to read.
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/28/08 Title: Chapter 1: Act One

I whispered/sang the whole thing out loud, since I've never seen Wicked (don't kill me), trying to find the rhymes. I'm weird. Does it count that I didn't said you a recording of my singing? :D
"Who cares if I’m not sexy?" I grinned like an idiot at this part. "A musical on MuggleNet that’s all to do with me!" I found one, Volders! It's by Schmerg_The_Impaler! (Though I'm not sure you'd like it...) "I’d be so pleased, I could go… SQUEEE!" Exactly what I'd do, in his position. "(Knocking him out and stealing the ring) Sounds perfect!" Oh snap I was *grin* at this. Bad grammar. "I’m not a nice boy, dad.
(He kills the Riddles) " :D I'm not a nice boy... NOW LEMMEH JUST KILL YOU... :D "(Tom is jauntily walking back from the Riddles’ and comes across a huge snake) " Ah yes. Exactly how I picture them meeting. "(Tom edges slowly away from the creepy old lady and possible pedophile.)" Oh my gosh. HA. When JK described Hepzibah as an old lady I was like... so Tom is flirting with her... ? c: "But before I truly takeover... I’m gonna need a makeover" Of course, this is definitely what ran through his mind as he became Snake!Voldemort. ^-^ "I’m not afraid to look like Michael Jackson" He should be a background dancer for Bad (by Michael Jackson) or something! *eyes glaze at the thought of Voldemort dancing in a rather High-School-Musical-ish way* "Oh, look at me! I’m hideous! That’s more like it!" Now if only WE could look at ourselves that way... "Plus, he’s got a nose" Oh, of course! Why would a man have a NOSE? "There are piles of bodies ten feet high!" I can just picture Bellatrix going on about those bodies she killed... "(Voldemort is applying for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; Dumbledore reee-jects him.)" So I'm not the only one who goes 'reee-jected!'?! Yes! "Let dead dogs lie" WHY MUST HE BRING DEAD DOGS INTO THE MATTER?! "(He tries to kill Harry and, ironically, asplodes.)" So I'm not the only one who says 'asplodes' either?! Yehhhhh-ya! (Yeya!)

That was a lot.

Vicki :d (I'm gonna be using that smiley a LOT now.) *off to read Act 2*

Author's Response: Why would I kill you for not having seen Wicked? I've never seen it myself! I've never even been to New York-- I'm gonna see my first live Broadway show this Sunday ("The Little Mermaid"), though I have seen loads of touring company shows, amateur productions, and youtube bootlegs. Hahaha, I have TOO MANY musicals about Voldemort--- about three, if I'm counting correctly. This is a great review! I love your specific quotes. And yeah, I say reee-jected! ^_^

I got yer emails. I'm going to reply tomorrow-- it's suspiciously late where I am right now.

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/28/08 Title: Chapter 2: Act 2

ACT TWO REVIEW! (That rhymed!)

"Insanely clean house—
Our very own sitcom backdrop." Great description of the Dudley household! :D "VOLDEMORT: See, I never had a family of my own, so I guess I just decided to go ahead and kill everyone else’s.
So you went batpoo insane, you mean." Yes, that's exactly what Voldemort did. Except told in a waaay more interesting way. "(Harry gets the stone and basically defeats him once again.)" Pretty much sums up the end of SS/PS. "(Harry’s love is too much for him, Voldemort flees, etc. Harry lies on the ground sobbing.)" Harry such an emo wreck all the OoTP, isn't he? "Dumbledore has just been killed by Snape, and Harry is full of inhuman rage—he wants to kill Snape. Meanwhile, Voldemort is across the country furiously killing people because he has just learned that once again, Harry did not die. Imagine this whole duet taking place in split-screen." Good ol' Emo!Harry, back again. And Smolderin' Volders gets pretty emo too... Killing people simply because he's a failure... *shakes head and sighs* "Just like the man you killed, alone in pain, crawl off and die!" Isn't it ANNOYING how Harry all of a sudden LOVES him and names his SON after him? I mean really... ALBUS SEVERUS? "And just to clear the air; Once I have killed you; I’ll fondly recall the blood and gore." Ah yes. Voldy. Same ol' same ol'. Too bad he DIES. :c "(They both attack, Voldemort’s spell rebounds, Voldemort dies, Harry and everyone else stands there blinking in amazement.)" That's exactly what happened. At least that's how I wish it happened. "(There is a long, sad, contemplative pause as everyone thinks about all of the good and innocent people who died in the fight to be free.) Good news! Good news!" That is just soo... *hugs Schmergo for that* *backs away, hoping she didn't creep her out* It's like *SOB* EVERYONE DIED *HAPPY* LET'S GO PARTEH!

I'm done excerpt-ing. :D

Vicki :d

Author's Response: WHOOT! I love your reviews, dude! I have absolutely nothing I can say in response to this, but I really enjoyed reading this and all of your comments! As for Harry naming his son after Snape, uh... that's why I named him Jordan James in mine! Yeah, my Harry still hates Snape. ^_^ I know I do... And yeah, wacky ending. I wanted it to be all bittersweet like in the real "Wicked," where they're all yelling 'good news' at the saddest time.

Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums: A Potter's Pentagon Love Story by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.

It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.

Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.

Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".

Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/28/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Abandoning Pregnant Wives-- A Fun Lupin Family Tradition

I simply squee-ed at the name of the chapter. Chuckle chuckle. Giggle ha. c: And I can't stop chuckle-giggle-ha-ing at: “My problem with you is… you misunderstand everyone. I AM MISUNDERSTOOD, ELIZABETH. SO MISUNDERSTOOD. MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS.” I was like ZOHMAHHOLEHGAWSH. Chuckle giggle HE ha. To review your other stories!

Vicki c: *who can't get enough of Moody!Emma*

Author's Response: Ahahahaha, thanks so much! Though I can't imagine why you'd squee at Ted abandoning his wife! Are you mean or something? ^_^ I'm very glad you think this story's funny... and that you like Moody!Emma. She definitely shows up a lot in the rest of the story. (Though she's not normally QUITE as attitudinous as in Chapter Five.)

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 08/23/09 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: Long Letters and Short Tempers


i am so sorry i haven't been reviewing though. i just got back from a vacation and then had a bunch of soccer. i'll get around to it though, promise


Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 08/14/08 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Yes. Yes. Yes. c:


'“Whatcha thinkin’?” said a little voice in my ear as I reached up to grab the cereal out of the pantry. I started and spilled the little flakes everywhere, giving further incentive for the ants to come out of hiding.' Okay, let me just say, that's amazing. I think the ants do that in our house, too. But with sugar and dog food. (Ew, right?)

'“For dancing with Wolfiekins and stuff.”' Dude. I make fun of names like that ALL THE TIME.

'"...Ivy was through with her first trimester before she started spreading the news that she was preggers. ..."' Oh yeah, Haley's really sympathetic. 'Preggers'. c:

'Vaultz gave me the iciest smile I’ve ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen snowmen.' Holy COW that's one of the awesomest lines I've ever seen.

'This is not the time for playing games,” snapped Vaultz.

Except for Quidditch matches, of course, hahaha, I couldn’t help but add mentally.' Hahaha, YES.

'Vaultz looked as though a cupcake had just begged him not to eat a plate.' Oh, Schmergo, where do you find your wonderful lines? Because I will take it. And even if it's all from your brain, I will have no problem cutting out that pile of spaghetti and putting it into my own head. (Whoa. Don't worry, I'm not going to stalk you. I was being entirely sarcastic.)

'Vaultz didn’t even wait for my reply, probably anticipating the scary effect he had on most people’s brains, and he marched away briskly, his usual nimbus of fury swirling around him.' Oh, PFFT. He doesn't scare me. /runs away and hides from him. HE DOESN'T, I SWEAR.

'I shot him a glare that made his shiny white ghoul eyes look tame by comparison. “After pulling a dirty trick like that, you’re the last person I’d want to go to any party with,” I spat, then kicked the stadium gate open and got out of there as fast as I could.' DANG. I was so waiting for her to punch him. DARN IT ALL.

'Only a serious ratfink would think about turning in their fellow trainees.' Ratfink? (I'm stupid.)

'Assassin? I still couldn’t imagine myself being anything but an Auror. (Though I kind of like that last one. Maybe I’d get to wear a glamorous black leather bodysuit.)' Does the fact that I can picture Emma leaping from buildings and dusk in a glamourous black leather bodysuit creep you out? Eh?

'Haley let out a scandalized gasp and brandished two action figures at us, having apparently run out of ceramic kittens.' I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. Yes. But I have to say, I think ceramic kittens would cause more damage. And also, where does she take these from in order to brandish them? Her back pocket? Her hair?

You know how Haley repeated 'You got sacked?' twice? I expected her to keep repeating it after every phrase someone said.

'She didn’t want to have fun when Ted was toughing it out at some ghetto werewolf campground.' All the campgrounds I go to are ghetto. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO TALK LIKE THEY DON'T MATTER?! :< (I'm actually not that choked up, but every campground we go to has noisy hippie neighbors - I want one of their vans, though - and has grosstastic bathrooms. Well, no, there's a few exceptions. But those were in Canada.)

'Less ceramic kittens and Les Miserables action figures.' NOOO!

'Did I really write that? “Started with a ‘W’ and ended with an ‘olfgang?’ Wow, I’m lame sometimes.' I do that too, Emma, don't worry. I just talked to a fictional character.

'The Australian owl keeper with the really hairy arms who kept yelling, ‘Strewth! Love a duck!’ when the owls kept dive-bombing his privates?' I don't think it was unintentional that you put 'Love a duck!' in there, was it? Yes. I'm more observant than most people think. By the way, I read Love a Duck, I'm just far too lazy to leave a review right now.

'“That sort of fat singer with the silly curly hair who makes all the stupid faces while he’s singing and jumps around the stage and makes every song sound impossibly cheesy?”' MICHAEL BALL! Oh. Haley just said that. Well, I promise you, I knew it was Michael Ball before she said that. I'm proud of myself.

'Her enormous, poofy hair managed to obscure everything else in the room.' I remember in The Dark Lord's Blog... Hermione's 'voluminous' hair that contained several random things. (Many forks, her Great Aunt What's-her-name, and other things I forget.)

'Jonathan’s been known to sit in silence for hours at social events, then randomly interject some kind of totally unrelated statement out of nowhere.' I do that. And I thought I was the only one.

'Terrence’s most notable quirk was his love of the colour purple...' My older brother loves the colour purple. My younger brother thinks it's stupid and loves the color pink. My two oldest brothers think both pink and purple are manly. o.0 (Yeah, I have four brothers. And one lonely sister.)

'“Oh, hey, Mr. Weasley,” said a deep voice that sounded like slow-motion velvet.' That's Tyrone. I'm positive. Let me check. ... Yeah. It is. :>

'I could hear Tyrone still talking in the entry hallway. “The bigger one is Fido, and the little one is Rover. Here’s their food, and you can give them a Fudge Fly every now and then, but not too often, because Fido’s on a diet, and Rover gets hyper when he has too much sugar. Here’s their litter box—they’re both toilet trained—and extra sand for that. And this is their little pool—make sure the water’s room temperature, because Fido can’t take it if it’s hotter, and Rover doesn’t like it colder— and there’s Rover’s special blankie. I think that’s everything.”' OCD much? I love that, though.

'I half expected Tyrone to say ‘I take what I can get.’' I remember him saying that twice so far over yonder in Potter's Pentagon numero tres. (I speak Spanish c: )

'Though perhaps ‘Gollum’ would better suit his personality.' Gollum is probably my favourite character in all the LOTR stories. I hate Bilbo. Meh.

'So Mr. D. goes riding off with several complimentary obscene gestures and glove-slap or two...' I can picture the Mr. Darcy I drew for your challenge on some fat old donkey with really skinny legs and a comical face, doing just that.

'...because he wasn’t a rude git and didn’t randomly yell things like “MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS.' Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, YES.

'Oh yeah, and I forgot—remember that Lady Catherine lady that Bilbo seems to fangirl constantly?' Is everyone related in this story?! (I've actually never read it, though I plan on it, even if my image of it will be horrendously and hilariously tainted by your summaries.)

WHOO. More long review chock-full of quotes. Let's throw a party for Vicki's random reviews (double 'R'! :o) that really don't help dear Schmergo at all, since they just point out funny things! Whooooo hoo. :>



Author's Response: VICKKKKKKKKS! THIS IS A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL LONG REVIEW! And it's lovely to have my first review of the chapter be so wonderful. And yes, your reviews do help me, because they show what you actually like in my story, so I know what worked.

If you think your ants thing is gross, check this out-- MY COMPUTER IS INVADED WITH ANTS. They crawl up and down the computer cords, and they crawl on the wall and up my legs and all over the computer itself. Nowhere else in our house are there ants. Just on the computer. It's a laptop, so wherever I take it becomes ant-infested, too. In the lovely Discworld series by Terry Pratchett, the university's computer is powered by ants. I think I have their computer. Hmph.

I am SO GLAD you singled out my snowman line. I was asleep in bed, and that sentence popped into my head, and I got up and edited it into my story, and pranced around the house being fiendishly proud of myself until my mum sent me back to bed. ^_^ Your line about cutting that spaghetti out of my head made me giggle like an idiot. Hey, you mean to tell me that Vaultz doesn't scare you? You are one brave cookie, missy. Vaultz TERRIFIES THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME, and I created him. He looks and sounds exactly like Frollo from Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" and he haunts my dreams and tells me I'm fired.

Emma SO should have punched Patrick. I guess she figured that he wasn't worth it. And that she didn't want to be PERMANENTLY fired. But you are so right. A ratfink is just a jerk. I got the word from this book I used to love when I was in first grade, "Sideways Stories From Wayside School." Everyone had to write poems about their favourite colour, and this one girl really liked pink, but this boy named John kept being a jerk to her. So in the end, her poem goes: "My favourite colour is pink. John is a ratfink." When I was in first grade, I thought that was the funniest thing I had EVER HEARD. You have no idea. I called people ratfinks all the time until my parents gently told me that was rude.

Emma would be one awesome Ninja assassin. She might be almost TOO good. I imagine her looking like those people from Kim Possible. And I don't believe I've ever seen a full episode of that show, so that's totally random. I think Haley keeps her action figures on her person at all times. Oh, incidentally, I almost DIED when I was in Disney World and discovered that they were SOLD OUT OF COMMODORE NORRINGTON ACTION FIGURES. I LOVE COMMODORE NORRINGTON, AND HE IS MINE, AND I WANT ONE. Add to that the delicious irony of making an *action figure* of the stereotypical repressed Englishman who does anything but take action. Myesss. Hehehe.

I love ghetto campgrounds. I go camping all the time.... we were campin' up in Florida just a few days ago. But Ted's campground is a little more ghetto. As in, no tents. No bathrooms. No privacy. Yeah, not anyplace you'd want to stay. Plus, everyone would want to eat your face off.

The Australian guy saying "Love a duck" is kinda a reference to my story, but it's also based on the fact that I think "Love a duck" is a hilarious phrase... that's why I made it James Potter's signature phrase, I think it sounds so funny that I had to include it.

While I'm very happy that you spotted Michael Ball, I'm also rather saddened that you recognized him based on Emma's overly critical description of him. :-( Oh, speaking of which, for about a week and a half, I had a song from "Evita" called "High Flying Adored" stuck in my head, so I searched youtube to see if Michael Ball had ever done a version of it, because I thought it'd sound great in his voice. He hadn't, and I was despondent. Well, just yesterday (when the song was still in my head), I was searching Michael Ball again on youtube to watch videos of him playing Edna Turnblad in Hairspray, and in the related videos section, I saw one of him... SINGING "HIGH-FLYING ADORED." Which had just been posted that day. YES. MWAAHAHA. And it was beautiful and wonderful and made me smile, because every other person to record that song sounded pretty weird on it (though Antonio Banderas was good, just his accent distracts me.)

My hair is enormous and poofy, so I love to talk about Hermione's hair being enormous and poofy as much as possible, so as to prove that I'm not alone. If, hypothetically, Emma and Tyrone had kids, all of them would have enormous, poofy hair. ^_^ Your brothers' colour preferences make me giggle, but not too much, because my brother has BRIGHT GREEN sneakers that make your eyes melt out of your sockets. Argh.

Your memory is really, really, really good, by the way. Oh, and in case you're curious, my favourite character from LOTR is Sauron. Not Saruman. Sauron. If you want to know why, go to legendaryfrog dot com and watch the "One Ring To Rule Them All" saga. But honestly, I don't like Lord of the Rings. At all. I never saw the appeal.

I totally laughed out loud at your description of Mr. Darcy on the fat old donkey. That just made my day. And yes, ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE in Pride and Prejudice is related. We meet more people who are related later on in the story. It's all one big happy incest fest, just like the wizarding world.

Kill Bill (And Arthur) by Schmerg_The_Impaler, Nevilles Girl

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It is a blustery day in Hogsmeade, and Arthur and Bill Weasley are minding their own business. That is, until they each receive letters instructing them to mind each other's business in a most intrusive and rather final sort of way.

But this is not just about Arthur and Bill. They happen to be a small part of a much bigger, much more ambitious scheme that they know nothing about, run by a frighteningly powerful organization. What exactly is going on, and what exactly will Arthur and Bill do?

Written as an entry for the Gauntlet, by Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff house (most of the Bill bits) and Neville's Girl of Slytherin house (most of the Arthur bits). Probably the strangest thing either of us has ever written.
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/28/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only

SQUEE! Princess Bride ref! "There were also some rodents who were not of the usual size." "(one was eating a blood lolly, while another had a bad case of the uglies and the name ‘Ed’ tattooed on her arm in sparkly letters)" Ahhh Twilight ref, as well? But which part did you write? "Far from the usual sombre grey-black, it was neon magenta with vast, pale green flowers. And it didn’t much help that it was accompanied by a muddy pair of cherry-red wellies. " Omgomgomg. Chuckle chuckle. I think you wrote Bill... Hahaha. So anyway... I love this story! :D (Did you know I actually just typed :d by accident and it looked like some random person licking their lips - possibly after eating icecream?! /random)

Vicki c:

PS- Thanks for the comment about the username, I didn't see that before. Squee! I saw some VitaminWater and I was like... omg... Hahaha.

Author's Response: Well, hello there! Yes, the lovely Nevilles Girl made the Princess Bride reference, and I am forever indebted to her for that. But *I* made the Twilight reference... and I really hate reference. I certainly did write Bill, and Nevilles Girl wrote Arthur. I love this smilie-- :d That's beautiful.

Potter's Pentagon: The Past (Book Three) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!

WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.

It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?

New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.

Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/29/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which Tyrone Makes Dorkiness Cool

"Giorgi folded her arms and pouted. All of her facial expressions were very distinctive because her triangular face bore a strong resemblance to that of a cartoon character, with big brown eyes, a little dash of a nose, and a wide mouth." no matter HOW HARD I TRY i can never picture what giorgi looks like in my head. can you help? haha.

"Jordan laughed somewhat nervously." there was no point to this quote, but just to let you know i'm talking about jordan and giordan. i would LOOOVEEEEE for them to hook up. it'd be so funny. just imagine them going on a date. jordan would bring her to like That Very Fancy Diner and be dressed up with slacks and a button down shirt, and giorgi would show up a few minutes late wearing some kind of crazy outfit. it'd just be. like. amazing. you should write that :) if only just for me to read. i'd love it. :O I am SO disgusted. Think I'm joking? You should be ashamed of yourself young man. erm... yah YOUNG MAN >:]" i practically like peed myself. i love people:(

"“You wear a pirate hat to school?” Jordan asked incredulously."

Author's Response: I guess I'll have to upload a picture of Giorgi sometime soon. Because her face is very, very easy for me to picture. Just imagine an anime character's face come to life, bahahaha. It'd be hilarious if Jordan and Giorgi went on a date... oh my gosh, I may just have to write that story. I DID write a story about Jordan asking Giorgi out, but I lost it when my old compooter crashed. And it's funny you'd post the pirate hat quote, because I'm playing a pirate in a production of Peter Pan right now, and it's quite awesome! We open tomorrow!

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/29/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: In Which Ivy Avoids Attack Chickens, But Not Hadrian Bellowes

i'll write again later. bah humbug.

Author's Response: I'MA PUNCH PEOPLE!

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 05/01/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Has A Bad Experience With A Hobo




oh btw. I was gone because at first I took a break from mnff for school. then I was just too lazy to come back.






Author's Response: Awww, Vicki, that's okay. I'm kind of on hiatus now, too. But it is nice to know that nothing bad has happened!

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/29/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which Tyrone Makes Dorkiness Cool

so i'm really frustrated at this stupid reviewing shenanigan so this review won't be nearly as interesting and spicy with life as it was orginally. blast. anyway. and awayyy we gooo

"Giorgi folded her arms and pouted. All of her facial expressions were very distinctive because her triangular face bore a strong resemblance to that of a cartoon character, with big brown eyes, a little dash of a nose, and a wide mouth." no matter HOW HARD I TRY i can never picture what giorgi looks like in my head. can you help? haha.

"Jordan laughed somewhat nervously." there was no point to this quote, but just to let you know i'm talking about jordan and giordan. i would LOOOVEEEEE for them to hook up. it'd be so funny. just imagine them going on a date. jordan would bring her to like That Very Fancy Diner and be dressed up with slacks and a button down shirt, and giorgi would show up a few minutes late wearing some kind of crazy outfit. it'd just be. like. amazing. you should write that :) if only just for me to read. i'd love it.

"Because the interior of the car was, in fact, magically expanded, the other five could all fit comfortably in the backseat—and as Emma loudly declared, she had no intention of leaving Ted and Ivy alone back there." hahaha, so me and this guy, quinn, really like each other, and my friends are ALWAYS making comments like this. it's pretty funny. haha, once time i said i was going to the movies to tine. (james jameson.) and she was like eww, that movie looks pretty bad. and i was like eh. i don't really care. i'm not gonna really be watching it. WINK WINK. (this is a joke. me and quinn don't actually "do" stuff lol) and she was like, "OOOOOOHHHHH SONNY JIM! IS QUINN GOING?!? THAT'S IT THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE I AM COMING DOWN AND WATCHING THAT MOVIE. SITTING BETWEEN YOU TWO. WITH AN ANGRY WOLF ON EACH SIDE. AND POSSIBLY SEVERAL VERY ANGRY DWARD CATS. >:O I am SO disgusted. Think I'm joking? You should be ASHAMED of yourself young man. erm... yah YOUNG MAN >:]" duude when she sent that i like peed myself. i love people:D

"“You wear a pirate hat to school?” Jordan asked incredulously.".

Author's Response: MMmmmbahahahahahaaaa! The story about you and Quinn actually made me laugh out loud, and I kind of spatttt. The part about dwarf cats did it for me.

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 09/28/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7: That Obligatory Hospital Wing Chapter

Yay! I got an honourable mention! (: I didn't count on getting anything, tbh.

Be prepared for a rather lazy review. We had a lock-in at my church with the youth group from Friday to Saturday, 8:30 to 8:30, and I'm still recovering from the after effects. ^_^

First... typo? 'I swear, I’d think he was twelve if I didn’t know any better.' You wrote 'he' instead of 'she'. Unless Charybdis was just being especially hateable?

Dude hey dude hey DUDE, Ani is SO CUTE! Awww, I just want to squish him. He's so good to Haley! Even though I'm pretty sure they won't ever get together, I'd totally ship Haley/Ani. AWWWWW!

'“Sickening cuteness aside, people,” chirped Haley, “It’s basically just a relief that Ted’s okay.”' Awww. Ted and Ivy are so cute. And I love how honest they are with each other! Seriously, there's probably some percentage out there for how many couples tell each other everything. (:

I have found another typo, methinks. 'Professor Granger-Weasley certain did not let the students off easy with their last class before their Apparition lesson.' 'Certain' should be 'certainly', right? ^_^

'Belladonna clapped her hands together, which looked quite painful, seeing as her fingernails were long, curved talons painted bright red.' This description reminded me a lot of Rita Skeeter. Gross! :P

'Emma’s jaw dropped. “I hate you,” she said conversationally.' I say things like that sometimes. You say something like 'I hate you' to a person in a terrible-comeback type of way, and then do something with your face, like raise your eyebrows or smile. ^_^

'Emma cackled and pulled his hat down over his eyes. “What mustache?” she asked sweetly, and hightailed it out into the foyer.' AWWWWWW! Dude, there are so many cute pairing instances in this chapter!

Overall, I liked this chapter. BUT TWO ERRORS? Schmergo! For shaaame! [smiles] I forgive you.

RANDOM FACT: Ted, with all his cuteness, is starting to bother me with the amount of attention he's been getting lately.


Author's Response: VIIIICKS! Hey, I have a lock-in soon, too. By the way, the typo thing? For some reason, my computer sometimes converts 'she's to 'he's when I'm talking about Haley. I think it thinks Haley is a boy name. I can't say anything about the other error, though, I have no excuse there.

What makes you think Haley and Ani will never get together?

Funny you should mention Ted and Ivy telling each other EVERYTHING... *coughs* Okay, sorry, just wait 'till you read the rest of the story. Sorry Ted's bothering you-- he had a really large role in this chapter, but he has a lot less to do in the next couple.

Reviewer: Vitamin Vicki Signed
Date: 07/29/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which Tyrone Makes Dorkiness Cool

it cut my review again>:(

STORY FLASHBACK TIME THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY so this one time i was in a spelling bee and i was like eleven and i got the word "sarsasparillas", which is pronounced "sassparillas". i spelled it "sarsparillas" and got DQed from the bee. the little dude after me had to spell facetious and spelled it freakin' like "faeshus." and i knew how to spell it and every other word in the bee. needless to say, i was a rather angry little girl. i dunno, whenever i see the word facetious it brings up such fond memories as this one.

"Emma hesitated. “We-ell… he is sort of cute, in a sort of slimy and gross way,” she admitted. “Kind of like you.”" probably commented on this the first time but duuude i can't wait for emma and tyrone to hook up, hide it from everyone have everyone find out and get mad at them temporarily until they decide AWW MUST BE FATE then it's smooth sailing for a little then they break up and everybody's like wow emma you suck. and then repeat. am i right or am i right? (previously i'd only read up to emma/tyrone's birthday. so the rest is educated guessing)

""Awww," said Ivy, smiling. "I think I would anyway."" um, i love ivy and ted. haha. this is kind of the relationship me and quinn have.

"When it measured around his neck for his collar size, he couldn’t help but imagine it strangling him and then floating off to find other victims while cackling an evil little tape-measure-y laugh." i imagine i'd think the same thing.

"Behind her stood a man with eyebrows that resembled a mustache on his forehead and a mustache that resembled two eyebrows above his mouth." i LOVE the way you describe things. you have such a freaking way with words. :)

"“Pansy Malfoy has been released from Azkaban prison and is demanding your custody. Good day to you.”" PANSY SUCKS.

so, what's been up with your life? :) gotten into any plays, musicals, other schermgoey paraphernilia? super quick update on me - i graduated 8th grade - which was a LOVELYYY cryfest, went to boston as a class trip, got like a bajillion awards at the end of the year >.

Author's Response: Whoa, I like your Emma/Tyrone theory. Which is not to say that it's true, but it is a very interesting one. And you and Quinn sound outrageously adorable! Quinn's a great name, too... it's the last name of a character from another one of my stories, "Pride and Pre-jUiced Plums." Thanks so much for the compliments on the wriitng, by the way! Let's see, what have I been up to? Well, I'm playing a pirate named Noodler in Peter Pan. I have a big gun, purple sunglasses, a mustache, and military jacket. (In the play, not in real life!) I also now have a job working at the Insect Zoo at the National Museum of Natural History, and I just did my first tarantula feeding on Saturday! And I'm going camping, visiting colleges, and to Busch Gardens next week.