Penname: alaskadad [Contact]
Real name: Gordon Preecs
Member Since: 07/11/08
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Reviews by alaskadad
 

Marissa and the Wizards by JCCollier
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 75]

Summary: Two years after Voldemort's downfall, Headmistress McGonagall finds a puzzling decrease in new Muggle-born students. Consulting the magic Quill, she and Flitwick find even wizarding children being born without magical ability. Each year fewer students are listed. If the decline continues, within decades the classrooms of Hogwarts will be half empty. Concerned how far the problem spreads, McGonagall sends a message to the Quill schools of the other continents.

In Brazil, the world of magic is revealed to a young homeless girl. When Marissa cautiously accepts an education in the wizarding world, the choice will lead her to an object somehow tied to the unknown cause of the wizarding decline. But as she struggles to show any ability at all, she is unsure if she even belongs in their world. What role can a neglected street beggar have in events that wizarding schools of all the world may soon be part of?


Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 108625 Chapters: 14 Completed: No
Published:
06/16/08 Updated: 07/02/13


Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 10/20/08 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Feathers and Broomsticks

Wonderful addition, excellent imagery. I would have thought this could be divided up into smaller sections/chapters but ultimately I just want to read the story. It would help my sense of the situation to understand if Marrissa really is "smelly". I mean, she was "raised" in the most desparate of situations, maybe these things aren't obvious to her. Or perhaps she is wonderfully clean and disaplined but only subject to predjudice and presumption. Learning "hygiene" could make for some delightful story lines if its the former situation. Well done, again in any case. Dr. Preecs

Author's Response: Thank you for returning to Marissa's story after our long delay, and also for your comment on the 'smelly' sentences. Probably my writing did not make it clear enough, but this is only her antagonist's way of demeaning Marissa for where she comes from. She is as clean as the other children (she did always use that alley faucet as best as one could) and has enjoyed her new opportunity to use real bathing facilities. A few lines at the start of the next chapter will note this. I had considered dividing this into two chapters, but did not find a place I felt comfortable parting her first day of classes in halves. The imagery you so graciously complimented sometimes defeats my aim for briefer chapters, but with Witness Stone now for the most part fully described, the story itself will proceed faster.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 11/26/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Tale of the Quill

I've been getting impatient for another dose of this excellent story, so I did something I should have done long ago. I just sat down and read through the whole story again. Amazing what I recognized, what I had overlooked or not connected, what clearer threads are seen when I wasn't staggering through the chapters after several weeks delay for each one. I'm not even getting the quill story straight yet, just evolving a much better image of marrissa's life and the nature of her school and the community of students and teachers. I missed that wand master was the snotty blond's family. I love that marrissa has a special and amazing "bird thing" that's clearly going to surprise us. ( Will she ride the great Condor??) I didn't grasp the implications of the wand in the case that WANTS her, in spite of Tio's prejudiced dismissal of the street girl, a wand made by an apprentice native....This is a much better story and a more fulsome treat when taken as a whole again. JKR alluded to what powerful insights one could gather from a person's boggart and their patronus. One more revalation coming, I take it. Clearly this is no short story. Believe me, I would pay for this in a bookstore. Shall we start negotiating with Rowling?? Excellent , excellent work. Dr. Preecs

Author's Response: I so much appreciate your continued reading (and reading again) of the story, despite its slow arrival. It's good to know reviewers are seeing the little threads within the storyline and I hope I can bring them all together properly soon. Though I cannot provide a bookstore version of course, there is a printable book formatted file of the first ten chapters (with charming illustrations by another reader, OliveOil_Med) which you can find here ( http://www.box.net/shared/gb6eolifkt ) if you like. When Marissa's story is complete, I will provide the entire book in this form.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 09/06/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - Choosing More Teams Than Two

very nice, excellent imagery. So, is saci a poltergeist or something else? I really did enjoy the duck milk/snipe hunt event, and appreciated the justice of the ending. How is marissa going to keep herself away from her street family as her power and abiliity to help them grows. The guilt issue is only going to grow. But anyway, wonderful story, excelllent, excellent work. Dr. Preecs

Author's Response: Thank you for your continued reading and I apologize for the long wait on the story (this chapter sat in line twice to be approved). Saci is a magical being from Brazilian folklore, an elf-like creature blamed for anything that is lost or goes wrong. He appreciates a helpful light, as he never has his own matches. Though this story won't delve any deeper into his origin, he would seem to have some poltegeist tendencies.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 07/07/13 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 - She Has An Air About Her

So, its been a while, to say the least. I've retired, I have grandchildren now to whom I anxiously await the introduction to Harry's world. And another 2 chapters of Marissa have appeared. Marissa still engages me, her problems seem huge, her abilities "huger", just not visible yet. Obviously I've had to reread the older parts and they hold up well. I do not know what blocked your hand these past years but I thank you for coming back to us with this story. I have a "host daughter" from Belgium who is multi-lingual enough that her work is moving her to Brazil where she invites us to visit. My oldest daughter speaks Portuguese from her foreign exchange to Lisbon, so it might happen. I know there is absolute truth in the background you create for Marissa in the slums but I hope we can see a better future for our brave little wildflower. Thanks for coming back to us.

Author's Response: Wow. It is very humbling to hear from yet another of Marissa's early readers again. Honestly, after all this time I truly expected the original fans of this story to have forgotten or given up on it and that Marissa could at most hope to find some new readers with the new chapters. That you remember it after years and still have strong praise for the story is simply wonderful. That your own life has found a connection to the source locations of Marissa's tale is an uncanny coincidence too. How amazing that is. Congratulations on the grandchildren and I hope we might add the completed story of Marissa to their reading list someday. Thank you again for your comments.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 07/17/08 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 - The Journey to the Rainforest

Well, this is going to be painful. Waiting for such a richly formed story is a serious test of patience. So we are right about Sr. Palito. I'm sorry to hear about "welfare wands" and blonds that seem to be regularly cast in evil roles but still this is very well developed. Thanks for excellent work. I just wish it flowed faster. Dr Preecs

Author's Response: I promise I'm not making any more of the bad characters blondes, and maybe the sisters won't permanently have an evil role. Thank you for your criticism and I think the next few chapters will move at a faster pace with a little smaller word count.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 08/10/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 - Witness Stone

You need to quit your job, abandon your family, leave school, and dedicate your life to finishing this wonderful story. Beautiful imagery and an intriguing story but I'm not very patient. Excellent work.....Dr Preecs

Author's Response: Well that would be one way to get it written faster. Encouraging words from loyal reviewers are good motivation too. Thanks for your continued following of Marissa's story.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 07/11/08 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - The Fork in the Road

Just found this at my wife's recomendation and am very impressed with the imagery and plot lines. We already have several layers and trails to follow, so now I have my Book 7 angst reawaked waiting for chapter 5! We're betting Palito is magical (water faucet wonders??) and Sister is just blessed. So, we're waiting........Dr Preecs

Author's Response: I could never claim to be deserving of Book 7 angst level, but thank you for your positive review and thank your wife for the recommendation (if she wants to tell a few others too I won\'t mind). I\'m glad you enjoy the background characters as a flood of more is about to begin. Chapter five is in the queue.

 
Reviewer: alaskadad Signed
Date: 02/14/09 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - A Bird's Eye View

I noted once before that waiting for this story to evolve has renewed my 'waiting for book 7' angst. I have all these threads dangling in my head and I can't wait to bring them along and tie them together. Both of us, my wife and I, probably check into look for the next installment 3 times a day, every day. The character development and imagery is truly excellent. I wouldn't structure the chapters the way you do, they seem to just accumulate various elements until you run out of space. Its all wonderful story telling, it just seems to be coming on in a random revelation. Re-reading the whole story allowed me to just ignore the divisions and just enjoy the flow of the story, which is proably why waiting for new chunk seems like such a lurching process. I really appreciate the depth and complexity you are showing in the story. It is just very difficult to wait, even for something so well done. Dr. Preecs

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