Well, as you may be able to see, two of my fics have come down. Hopeless Wishes is gone because that was more of an OF anyways, with a few HP names thrown in for good measure, and Ballroom Dancer Extraordinaire was my first fic, and really, it shows. So yeah, if you really want to see them contact me, but if not, they're gone for now.
The Man-Witch has appently done very well. That's not exactly as I expected, but I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. =]
That was good, but I was just wondering; in the line, “Potter, please. Where is your sense of apathy?”, should it be apathy, or should it be sympathy?
Apathy means not caring, and sympathy means sharing an emotion. Sirius wants James to be sympathetic towards him because he's tired, not apathetic. He wants him to care that he's tired. I think sympathy would've made more sense. To me it would, at least. Sorry if thats confusing. I'm really tired right now.
Plus, Snivellus is spelled with two Ls. Just thought I'd point that out.
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed your story. I liked how James strutted everywhere. The way you wrote it, it made it seem like James strutting wasn't an everyday occurrence, so he didn't seem so big-headed. It was a good idea, I enjoyed it!
This is such an amazing story. It always depresses me, whenever I read it. Everything is so perfect - the characterisation, the plot, everything. It makes me feel sorry for Snape, who I love, as well as Harry, who I only love a little. You're such an amazing writer, it makes me jealous. I can never find anything wrong, and I like nitpicking.
I really love it. =] That's really all I have to say.
Now with more Snape down the Whomping Willow! Check out Chapter 10: A Highly Amusing Joke and Chapter 11: Skyfall
It seems so realistic that James was afraid of Remus.
It was a great chapter, keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
I love this fic. A lot. It's so sweet. Great job!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! :) During the recent Quicksilver Quills nominations, about four people wrote in this practically identical nomination for another writer's AU story about Severus and Lily, and they all wrote something like "I usually can't stand stories about Severus and Lily, but...". Obviously I just don't understand that, because they're two of the most interesting characters in the canon, and JKR herself is the one who suggested that they could have been a possibility. I love writing about them.
Emma is such a jerk. Poor Ivy!
I love Emma's Pride and Prejudice summary. It's hilarious! My favorite line is
" And Darcy says, “Good. I hate laughter.”"
I laughed out loud when I read that.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, Emma\'s a bit of a jerk, but she has her good moments... and I think she redeems herself. As for Darcy, he pretty much DOES say that in the book-- when Elizabeth says that that\'s hard to laugh at, Darcy says that he despises fools who make it their goal to laugh at everything.
I really love this story. I stumbled across it in the Ravenclaw Library, and I’m really happy I did. It’s such a sweet story, and your use of present tense is really good. It’s nice to read something fresh.
I noticed you slipped up on the present tense in two places, though: “I thought I had imagined it at first, but Harry actually smiles and laughs,” should probably become “I think I am imagining it at first, but Harry actually smiles and laughs.” And “When he does not draw away, I squeeze his fingers tight and stood up,” should be “…I squeeze his fingers tight and stand up.”
But anyway, I think your characterisation is really good. Harry is spot on, because it isn’t realistic that he would just move on, and we know that there would be problems. I liked the girl a lot; I think she was really believable, and you did a really awesome job on her. I think she seems perfect for Harry and I’d really love to learn more about her. I’m under the impression that you don’t have to say any more about her, because this was more about Harry, right? I think you showed just enough of all of her, and I don’t think she was lacking anywhere. The dialogue was all very natural, and it was just great in general.
The last line is really sweet, and it gives me the happy, squeeful feeling. Everything flowed really well, and it made for a really great read. There’s just one more line I’m going to nitpick: “Parvati Patil still goes to weekly therapy sessions at St. Mungo’s, trying to deal with the constant flashbacks of Lavender Brown’s death, which had happened after her friend had been Disarmed.” I would cut off everything after Lavender Brown’s death, just to keep it flowing properly.
Anyway, I think it’s wonderful. I really, really love it. =]
This is such a cute one shot, definitely one of my favourite Severus/Lilys. It’s incredibly adorable, and your characterisation is spot on! Their dialogue is so wonderful and natural sounding, it made me wish they spoke more. Sev’s joke was great to read, because I love reading stories that aren’t too depressing. I admit I predicted something was amiss, because it just seemed so weird, but I hadn’t thought that he would actually be timing her.
Your description is great, there’s so much of it and yet my eyes didn’t skim anything, because it was so well written. I love your characterisation of Lily – unwilling to insult her husband, but not willing to live uncomfortably because of him, either. She’s so easy to connect to, because all of her reactions seem so real. The way she dealt with the situation was so easy to understand.
It was also very funny. I loved the line (“Hello, welcome to our home, thank you for ignoring my husband’s misbegotten reputation as a Dark wizard, and oh yes, how do you like our lovely shrunken head?”) I laughed out loud. It’s fun to read something that’s funny because it’s ironic, instead of totally random. And I love all the fluff. There aren’t enough fluffly Sev/Lilys out there.
I’m totally failing at finding something to criticise. Er, great job! ;)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I wrote this when I was writing chapter 2 of my longer, chaptered fic, which is very depressing (Spinner's End, summer after the fight with Lily, so could it be otherwise?) and I wanted to write something about the light at the end of the tunnel. The characterisation of the two of them as themselves and in the middle of a war, but in love and happy also, was fun to write (and challenging. Do we ever really see him as happy in the series, even in flashback?) I'm glad you liked the humor, also-- my beta and the moderator who OK'ed this both cracked up the whole way through, so I thought that was a good sign. I know that "fluff" and "Severus Snape" don't really fit in the same sentence together, never mind the same story, but this was one of my favorite things to write. :) Thanks so much for the review!
Wow. That was epic, good job. I wonder how it remembers it all if it can't write it down...
Author's Response: Haha, it would be quite difficult I imagine. But then again, that poor little had does have ALL YEAR to sit around and do nothing....lol. Thanks so much for your review, Lizzy! ~GG
Your story was depressing. You can take that as a compliment.
However, I just have to say, that I don't think Hermione would've actually gone charging through the veil. The part where she kept trying to bring Sophie back was good, I just don't think she would've killed herself. She's too sensible. Or maybe that's just me. :)
I love how when she 'died' she ended up in a library. Lupin being there was kind of unexpected, but I'm glad that he was.
Great job you guys!
Author's Response: thanks for the review and for your comments. In response to Hermione trying to kill herself, I'm not sure that was her intention when she went through the veil. I think she obviously expected to die but I don't think she made an actual decision to die - she just needed answers and it seemed the only place left open to her. I agree with you that Hermione is too sensible to kill herself but she's clearly not her normal self here so she's prepared to do things she wouldn't usually. I'm glad you liked the library/Lupin idea - that was all my partner's so I can't take the credit! Thanks again for the review - I hope I've not come across too defensive, I just like to try and explain my reasoning behind things. Hannah
It's an interesting concept, and a very sad story. I like the way you incorporated the lyrics - they actually seemed to work.
I just have one suggestion:
“Is it wrong for me to still miss you? Even though this is an anniversary of- of the battle?” I said, unwilling to acknowledge ( at least not any more than necessary) this anniversary for the other thing it was the anniversary of- Remus’s death.
That just sounded rather awkward to me. I think if you got rid of one of the anniversarys, everything would be great.
Because your story was awesome. =] I enjoyed it very much.
Viktor had never known, until she came along. Henceforth, every breath that escaped his lips were for her, and her alone.Could he face her, eye to eye? Even the greatest of wizards crumble to pieces when faced by the overpowering force of love, and he was no exception. The challenge was tougher than catching the Golden Snitch or stealing a Chinese Fireball's egg.
Will he succeed, or crumble into pieces like so many others?Winner of the "I Challenge Thee" contest held in the MNFF Beta Boards in September 2008.
Great job! Your Krum is so cute! Hope you do well in the challenge.
Author's Response: Thank you, Lizzy! I wish you all the best for the challenge too.
Lily Luna Potter is given History of Magic homework to write about the life and achievements of one Harry Potter, and (being the abnormal weirdo that she is) she decides to write it in verse. Sadly, Lily is labouring under the delusion that she is a talented poet, even though her rhyming is almost as good as her mother’s (as exhibited in CoS)…
Well this is what she wrote! Professor Binns won’t know what’s hit him...
A millon billion trillion Thank Yous to lunirina, who saved this from the horrific state it was in!
I loved it! There may have been a few errors, but I won't go over them because I think it's great anyways. It was certainly the most entertaining poem I've read in a very long time. Or maybe ever. I read it twice, the best part would have to be the 'Quirrel was nude,' part, I think.
Author's Response: I don't see Lily as being the most attentive student, so the errors were there on purpse. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it =] I just wrote the Quirrel bit in as a joke, but then I decided to leave it in! I don't think I'll ever be able to think of that scene in the same was again... Glad you liked it, though!
Hey HJ. That was very sad. Poor Dean, although I've never really like Cho anyways. It sounds like something stupid she would do. :)
Author's Response: My sentiments too, Lizzy! I've never liked Cho either. She's just too cry-babyish and highly short-tempered for my tastes. That's one of the reasons I was so shocked when I actually took the challenge on and proceeded with it!
Hey Julia! Your story was very cute. I agree that it was touching. I feel bad for poor Colin; he didn't have time to let reality sink in before he had to make his decision. And if you answer this, do you want to tell me what the line from DH was? I missed it. >.
Author's Response: *hugs* Thanks, love. Yeah, when I was in the first stages of writing this, I fretted over how long it should take him. It sounds silly, but I think it really matters, when it comes down to it. The line from DH is when Oliver is talking to Neville. Heh.
Hi Viv! I really liked this. I have a soft spot for babies, and when they’re upset they’re pretty cute (as long as you don’t have to stick around in the same room as them for too long) Reading that over, it sounds kind of weird, so I guess I’ll just say that I liked the way you kept Teddy present in the story. Sometimes everything disappears when a character starts to think, and I liked the way you kept the environment there while Andromeda thought.
The phrasing in the first paragraph seems a little awkward, and a random grammar mistake (seeked should be saught), but overall it was a pretty great read. I love angst, and you did a really good job keeping it sad and a little hopeful at the same time.
Your characterisation of Andromeda is quite good as well – I think that’s it’s realistic that she blamed Remus for Tonks’ death, though she knows it wasn’t really his fault. She seems very strong to me, and it’s nice to read about someone who is a fighter, even if they’re going through a rough time. I can kind of connect with her in the way that everything seems out of control, but there are people depending on her anyway – not quite to that extreme, because it’s not actually children I’m looking after – and I think you did a very good job showing all her emotions. The description is excellent.
Great job. I think I’m going to check out your author page after this, to see what else you have. =]
Author's Response: Hi Lizzy! What a nice review. I'm happy that you liked the way I portrayed Andromeda.That's really how I see her, a strong woman who never gives up; after all, she's been through a lot because of what happened to her loved ones and the choices she had to make. So in my mind, it's clear that she's a fighter. And it's true that babies are cute! :) Thank you!
Hi Rachel. =] This fic is the reason I love one shots. It’s pack full of emotion without being too dramatic and without the ugly time fillers. I love how much you can get into 3000 words. It’s so impressive to me. And I couldn’t even see anything to nitpick, and I like nitpicking.
I was seriously in awe of this. I don’t usually read Dramione, because it’s not usually well-done enough for my tastes and I’m picky about that sort of thing, but in yours, it actually makes sense that they’re together. You didn’t just throw them together. They seemed to… click. Or mix. Or something else I can’t describe in words.
I had a problem throughout the entire thing telling when things were happening. I wonder where she is at the beginning and what’s going on there, and it happened after pretty much every flashback. They seemed pretty solid, and then the non-flashbacks… confused me a little. I just didn’t know what was going on. That may just be my short attention span and horrible short-term memory, but I had difficulty connecting everything.
But that’s not to say it wasn’t amazing. You write so genius-ly. I love this line: “I need someone to remind me I’m alive.”
I just love it. That’s so perfect, it almost seems surreal, that someone would say that, but you made it seem so natural anyway. There’s so much emotion there. It says so much about what happened before too – I think that line captures all the power and sadness of everything.
I also wonder whether Draco would actually want to go back. I don’t think he would want to go back. After everything that happened to him, he seems like he was done with the war. And he also loved Hermione, I don’t think that he would go back to go back to her after they got together. It just seems kind of random, you know? Maybe I just want them to be together – you’ve convinced me it would be for the best. He seemed so broken, and I don’t think he would go back to what ruined him if he had the choice, if that makes sense. I don’t criticise the ending, though, because it seemed right. I just had a NO, DON’T DO THAT, DRACO! Moment. Because, you know, you convinced me they were meant to be.
And all that makes me feel so bad for Hermione. Throughout the entire thing, she’s been so in love with him, but he’s always been so hesitant. I admire her for it, really. I think it takes bravery to admit you love someone who seems completely hesitant to love you back.
I don’t think I would have believed that Ginny and Ron would’ve left Harry and Hermione if anyone but you wrote it. Same with the suicide. But everything you write is so convincing and realistic, and so well explained, I can’t help but believe you. You’re seriously awesome. I’m going to read some of your other stuff. =p
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Lizzy, THANK YOU for this brilliant review. Ah! *grins* I know what you're saying about the timeline... when I was planning this in my head, it was supposed to be real time/ flashback/ real time/ flashback, etc. But when I started writing, the present turned a bit too reflective, turning it into more... considering what happened in the past/what actually happened in the past. Which is... more confusing than what I was going for, so I understand where you would have found that a bit off.
I also agree that Draco wouldn't want to go back to the Death Eaters. But, since I was writing this as a songfic to Hysteria, and the song is ultimately about losing control... I needed Hermione to be in a situation in which she was in over her head with Draco, where she gets a reality check once she realises he won't be there forever. Which is no justification for abandoning Draco's characterisation, I know - just explaining why I wrote it that way, when I don't necessarily agree. ;) That's the reason that I'm not going to be 100% satisfied with this story. I feel like I spent too much time trying to make Hermione and Draco's relationship believable, and didn't focus enough on Draco's characterisation, and justifying why he would go back.
Thank you very, very much for all your concrit - and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story! Yikes, if you do read my other stuff, stay away from the older fics. Then again, there's always a chance that you've already read some of those, and have run away screaming and will never see this response [which, I apologise, is a bit late]. *facepalm*
Please write more, I really do want to know what happens next...
Author's Response: Can't you guess? Their love produces Rosalburga Aphrodite Black .... and she's the same age as Teddy Lupin... (ignore timeline difficulties, Vamp babies grow at different rates) ... so she'll be at Hogwarts... and she's bound to take a trip into the Forbidden Forest and find that 'stone thingy'.