I am 32 and Cheshlin is my twin sister. I work as a Pediatric nurse. I have been writing free form poetry since I was 16 and am now working on stories and poetry here. I have also taken to photography. Check out my pictures at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cwiddy/!!
This is a beautiful poem. Well written. The visualization is wonderful...and sad. Tears spring to the eyes when visualizing the deaths and how they lifted Ginny up with them.
This poem flows very well! It is well written and you entered upon the challenge of this style of poem with vigur! :)
wow, very well written and so believable. If Ron had died, this may very well have been the result. Death does funny things and sometimes people run away to avoid dealing with it...only later realizing that they have to deal with it in order to move beyond the point in their life that the death occurred. Well written and described!!
All I can say is that this story bring to life the decisions and core of many religious faiths. Humans like to judge each other for their actions, for their decisions. In the end each of our actions is between us and whatever higher being we believe in. It is not for others to judge. Sometimes we forget and condemn others. Thanks for reminding me that no one can fully be understood by others. THere is always going to be missing data that no one else sees.
Author's Response: You are welcome.
Great story here sis! I LOVE how you keep finding ways to bring Declan into your stories...I guess once you create a OC you love, it is best to keep him showing up! It is also awesome that you are expanding on his family. First Binne and now Caitlyn, and I know where Caitlyn's name came from!! This was very well written. Good description and very creative!
Author's Response: Thanks Cwiddy! Declan just keeps working his way into my stories. He is just that sort of character. I\'m glad that you enjoyed the story. I had a lot of fun writing it. Cyns
This is a very well written story and really shows in depth your vision of Andromeda. You have done great at describing her mourning of Ted, Dora, and Remus...her reconcilliation with raising Teddy, and the transformation of the mourning process...from deep open wounds to scars that will always show but allows the person to move on.
The 3 different scenes also help show the mourning process...the immediate scream out loud pain of loss, the deep hurting depths of pain at the funeral, and then the healing that comes with time at the end.
The way you brought in Andromeda's personality...and even the glimpses that can be seen of the budding relationship with Harry and Ginny are also well done.
This is a very well written story and very imaginative.
Author's Response: Thank you, Chris. I value your good opinion. ~Ken
I like where you took this story, and the view you took with it! Guess that sometimes having someone to bounce ideas off can start the plot bunnies going! 8)
Author's Response: You are a great one for me to bounce my plot bunnies off of! :) I had fun writing it. I\'m not sure if this is how I originally saw it coming out, but I\'m happy with it! Cyns
Interesting beginning of a story. I have to say though, that not everyone fears death...as some long for it to come and take them. Those that have long dealt will illness or pain. I have seen children, who have not had the chance to live face it and stay alive only for their parents who won't let them move on. In the end though, the sleep of death...where pain no longer causes suffering and they are free from life's burdens or fears (for those who suffer abuse). Just a different take on death.
Author's Response: I know that there are people who do not fear death as such, but what Fred is saying is that everyone does have a small element of fear. I know that some people want to die, and this is sad, however, everyone has a tiny bit of fear, perhaps not for death exactly but for what will happen after they die i.e., where they will go etc.. Thankyou for your review!
Really good story here. It deals with a deep and hard issue...very realistically. I do think that it ended a bit quickly, but with Luna, that is possible.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! ~megan~
Really enjoyed your story about Rowena! It is a great twist on mythology and adds much to the Hogwarts story!
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m glad you liked it!
This is a great view of how James may have told Remus about them going into hiding. It shows the distrust that had started to erode on the Maurader's Friendship...and just how powerful Voldemort's hold was on people of the time! :) Enjoyed your story Sis!
Author's Response: Thanks sis. I\'m glad you felt I caught this moment. Cyns
All I can say is Wow! This is very close to how I picture the first conversation after the row with Harry between Tonks and Remus. They are my favorite couple in the HP series...and I have to say that I was very upset that they died. You got their personalities and those of Tonk's parents down pat to how I picture them. This was very well written and really shows the feelings and emotions of all those involved very well!
Wow, brought tears to my eyes...kind of the forgetfulness that is described in the Elusion Fields (although I can't spell) but happiness with memories, and sadness about those left behind. I think the only thing that would have made this even better is if James, Sirius, and Lily where there to welcome Remus home, too!
When Kate decided to take a stroll through the woods one night, she wasn't expecting anything bad to happen. But she didn't notice that it was a full moon that night. And she didn't know that a werewolf stalked around the forest once a month... that particular forest.
This story strongly shows the prejudice of the human race...in this case the wizarding world. It is sad that the innocent were killed and harmed. I'm not so sure that Lycantropy would affect the entire family quite to this extent...that the family would be killed because they were related to the werewolf. It would not be their curse...especially if they took precautions to prevent the werewolf from harming others...by securing them. Also, why was a 12 year old witch walking around with her wand? When at home they were forbidden to do magic, so I can't see that her mother would have allowed her to go into the woods with it...but especially alone near dusk...even at 12 years of age...especially in a bear infested wood. Danger lurks in all woods after dark and it is much easier to get lost.
The descriptions in this story gives an outline of what one is seeing...and the emotions are only partially explored, but it is a good beginning.
I also see a lot of open ends...did the girl get to continue going to school? why was her sister not at school? Why would the father loose his job at the ministry and be totally unable to obtain any job because of his daughter? Lupin's family was not affected to that extent...and the existence of a Minor as a werewolf would be kept confidential...it is when she came of age that she would have to register. That is what happened with Lupin anyway.
The best part I'd have to say is the ending...it makes one think about what a werewolf goes through...and thinks about.
A trip throough family deaths...all caused by Narcissa's hand...as per family tradition...which I can see occuring in a family such as hers, but one would still have to consider all of these murders. The order seems a bit off as I see Sirius's father dying before Walburga...and he died the year that Regulus died...although I'm not totally certain about when Walburga died.
This is semi-poetical though and I know you stated in the introduction that you did not pay attention to time lines. This shows what one will do for his or her family. Well written and the form adds to the telling.
This is a very sweet story and you did well describing the scene and keeping the Snape and Lily in character. I think you are like me and need to work on really bringing the world alive to your readers...maybe learn to add more description to your stories. Over all this is a really good story though! :)
Author's Response: Thanks, I appreciate the advice!
This is an interesting look at Occlumency and Legilimency. I love your descriptive terms of Keen Eyes and Guarded Eyes. They parrallel each other, but show what each spell specializes in. This has an interesting stanza set up...with the 3 words, 1 word, 3 words. It works here and brings the poem together. Your break that pattern only with the first line of the 3rd Stanza "Seeking truth"...making this more uniform would really bring this poem together. Over all I think this is one view of these spells, simplifying them and holding them together. Good work!
Author's Response: Thank you. :D This poem was done with with no particular pattern in mind, but I'll fix that anyway, I missed a word when writing it I'd imagine. Strange no one else picked that up, but they probably didn't analyse it the same way you did. I always take pride in my poetry, my short stories tend to point out dramatic and little cared about flaws in Harry Potter, all the while being snide about it. They don't always turn out right (in other words not insulting to the author). Thank you again for reviewing and pointing out that mistake.
Author's Response: Thank you. :D This poem was done with no particular pattern in mind, but I'll fix that anyway, I missed a word when writing it I'd imagine. Strange no one else picked that up, but they probably didn't analyse it the same way you did. I always take pride in my poetry, my short stories tend to point out dramatic and little cared about flaws in Harry Potter, all the while being snide about it. They don't always turn out right (in other words not insulting to the author). Thank you again for reviewing and pointing out that mistake.
I enjoyed reading this story...which is different for you, but as we are both taking the Dark Arts class...not surprising! You did well to mix in a lot of the discussions we had and I think you started to develop William...AKA Robert. You also showed did well characterizing Salazar...giving him a stronger reason to hate muggles and why he disappeared as he did. Great job Sis! (although I have to admit I can't figure out why you are validated and I'm not...I was in before you!)
Author's Response: I was really trying to figure out what would turn Gryffindor\'s best friend against him. I think I succeeded, at least in my eyes. Thanks for the encouragement, Sis! I\'m glad you think I encoruparated the class work in. :) Cyns
Interesting...starting the story with a mystery to keep the readers going. This is well written...and so like children to hear what their parents say, but be curious about where that is headed. :)
Wow, all I can say is great action. The play of children trying to act as adults really bring out these characters...and you have done a GREAT job at beginning to develop these characters.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Chris! I feel so nice when I read such reviews and sad that I haven't been able to update in a while. But I'll do it, I promise!