What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not
For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.
EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.
My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*
I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.
EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.
I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.
I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance
EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.
A Second Chance
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Learning to Fly
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)
Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)
Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)
Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
As They Watch
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Fairytale of Hogwarts
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Queen of My Heart
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Labyrinth Mind
Summary: Albus Severus Potter is not like his father. He can't defeat unimaginable evils. No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't overcome the evil surrounding him.
Mr. Potter, your son was possessed.
Oh, this is sad and it tells a story. I love the way you've plotted this with so few words, and yet the tale is there before us.
You've managed to capture the despair that Harry must be feeling at seeing his son like this, and also Albus' helplessness because he can hear what is going on and yet is powerless to prevent what is happening to him.
Oh, I didn;t think he'd die, though. :( - Although that is probably preferable to being stuck in this terrifying limbo.
Lovely poem. I liked the structure, too. It flows very well and it's clear who is talking. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Carole. :)
I can't imagine what Harry would be like, but I think it would hit him very hard- but the italics POV is the healer . . .
As for the death . . . anything would be preferable. And who's to say it was the actual possession that killed him? ;)Anyways, thank you so much for the lovely review!
OH! This is all different - ha ha. I didn;t expect this at all, Soraya, and am gasping somewhat. In a good way, I promise, it's just that this isn't how I envisaged your story. There's some intrigue (Scorpius had a daughter? Louis' family are dead? Scorp and Rose are together .... NOOOOOOOO) and there's also the tension that we know somehow Scorpius and Lily will end up together - even if it is alcohol induced.
So no, this isn't a crappity fic. It has a decent plot and original characterisation.
Rose however, is a poo and doesn't deserve the love of the fair Malfoy.
Author's Response: CAROLE!!!! I really do <3 you, you know that, right? :D
Once again, you came to my rescue when I was deprived of review!love, and on Valentine's Day too :) Yay to that. And yay to you gasping, lol. The thing is, I had always imagined Scorpius and Lily to get together, somewhat briefly, yes, but it had to fit in with my head canon which means some healthy Scorose and Loulily too. And yeah, Scorpius having a daughter and Louis's family basically all dying except for Victoire are things that I covered more thoroughly in Blood and Roses (not that I'm pimping or anything, and besides, it's Scorose so I don't know if you can stomach it, lol -- though, if you were to read it, I promise it's not too shippy and they aren't even together, really, in the story).
Thank youuuuuuuu, for the lovely review, though Rose does NOT appreciate being called a poo, haha. She's broken up with Malfoy, anyway! Hehehehehe. I don't know if I'll finish this in time for the Cotillion's deadline, but if I don't, I should hopefully post the second (and third, if I decide to) chapter (s) by Marchish.
<3 you lotsly!
Summary: Ernie Macmillan has had a difficult year, suffering three losses in two months’ time. Life is dreary, and each day seems far too much like the one before and the one to follow.But on any regular day, extraordinary things can happen, can change the course of a journey… especially when an obligatory dinner party, a meddling best friend, and a familiar face from the past come together at just the right time. This is WeasleyMom of Hufflepuff, writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge. Thanks to Natalie/hestiajones for beta reading this in a quick turnaround.
OH OH OH OH OH - Who is it? I neeeeeeed to know who the girl is. My mind is buzzing now. It can't be a Hufflepuff, he'd remember them. Ummmm, Leanne? Lisa? (thinking of 'L's now) Demelza (no she's with Tracey - giggle).
Lorriiiiiiii I love this story. You've captured Ernie brilliantly, but not just him, your Hannah and Neville are so perfect - s right (and not a mention of her tits anywhere - snigger). Seriously, that scene in the kitchen between the three of them had me gulping. Neville was just so fantastic. I think it's the sign of a really good writer that even the minor players can make such an impression, and he was so so good.
Looking at Hannah now, pretty even with the sheen of sweat from cooking visible at her hairline, he wondered why he couldn’t have just fallen in love with her. Life would have been so much simpler in his estimation.
This passage is particularly good. I love how Hannah isn;t perfect, yet he still recognises that she's pretty and, yeah, perhaps it would have been good for him to fall in love with her,but then we wouldn;t have the fabulousness that is Neville and Hannah. - ha ha.
Lori, please never doubt yourself again. This is lovely. Somehow you always manage to get to the heart of these characters with such ease and gentleness, my heart melts. Fabulous!~Carole~
Author's Response: Have you figured out who it is yet? Mwahahaha! I won't tell, but it may be the first line of the next chapter, so you'll at least know by the end of February. Hehe.
Two minds or one? It is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.
As a fellow sufferer of AD (I think we need a support group), then of course I shall review you. That and I don;t think I did the first time, and I should have done because this is a wonderful poem.
Forgive the squeee, but 'GAHHHHH' I love your poetry so much. You really do have this extraordinary way with words that create fantastic images.
A necrotic cantata of joyous evil, Within the bounds of immortality Just amazing.
It was hard to choose a line/lines to quote here because they're all so good, but that set just awed me. The whole poem just sums up Harry's life and sacrifice so much. Yes, we know he survived, but he didn't know he would. He was certain he was walking to his death, and that still gets to me, every single time. *sigh*
Your poetry always seems to encapsulate feelins and moments so brilliantly. Thank you for sharing. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Carole. Harry's sacrifice seems to be basis for a lot of my poetry. There is just something about what he went through that gets to me every time and I have to write about it. Sigh. Yes, we really do need a support group!
Summary: Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time, drawn always towards him, never aging or changing.
She is the one thing he does not question.
OHH, very intriguing, and I'm glad you picked up this gauntlet of Kara's and wrote it, too.
Beautiful imagery, minna, I really loved the constant ebb and flow of the tides as the background to their love affair.
,br> Very well written and entrancing. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review <33 I'm glad I picked up that gauntlet too
Summary: Huddled in a cellar, fugitive Muggle-borns wait as Death comes closer...
Nominated for Best Poem in the 2012 Quicksilver Quills Awards
How have I not reviewed this before? Minna, I really like this. You've captured a very intense edge here for the Muggleborns. The claustrophobia and fear they must be feeling is so intense. So well done for that.
I like the fact that this isn't quite a villanelle and think you've played with the usual structure very cleverly. The lines and their sense that you repeat are very haunting, again it makes me thing how much fear they lived in every single day when they knew they faced death.
The only thing I'd maybe change (and it's purely a personal preference) is the last line. I'd probably remove either the 'and' or the 'then' because leaving a syllable out makes it more emphatic, when I read it. But that's a very minor suggestion.
This is wonderful, and I still can't believe I missed it. ~Carole~
Summary: A young girl muses on the difference between her Muggle grandmother's charms and her wizarding uncle's.
Oh, this is so beautiful. We get so caught up in the Magical world of Harry Potter that we forget Muggles have their own magic, and charm and love.
Minna, this is so effortlessly written and flows so well. Seamless, elegant, amazing.
br> Fantastic. ~Carole~
Summary: Charlie Weasley is sitting at his brother's wedding when he meets a beautiful reporter covering the nuptials. Daphne Greengrass is more than she appears, however, and he finds himself quickly entranced. Is she interested in him as well, or is he just another story?
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.
I LOVED IT!!! Awwwwww, I really enjoyed this story, Gina (despite the FALL),. It's lovely to see a Post Hogwarts story featuring Charlie because he's so lovely and deserves to be written about more. Obviously he's actually with Penelope (Percy's ex - ha ha), but I can forgive you that - hee hee.
Seriously I did enjoy reading this. there was a moment whenh I thought Daphne had given up her secret a little fast but you actually explained that PERFECTLY with the lines that she recognised in Charlie something that she wanted, and of course confessing all to a stranger is so much easier than to a friend/family member.
The other thing I really enjoyed was that this was a Charlie and George banter type story, with none of the Trio - yayayay! Ha ha - I just like to read stories without them barging in.
The end was good. George's prank wa sperfect (lovely to see him happy and not moping).
Then because I was squeeing so much, I realised I hadn;t read the end properlyyyy. Noooooo, Daphne, you stitched him up. But he's happy and she won;t fool him again. I LOVED the last line, and now please introduce me to Charlie. I want to make him mine.
Author's Response: Once again this review makes me smile. A very belated thank you for this, Carole. I really appreciate all your comments. I'm glad it turned out and had it's moments, esp. George. I have to admit, it was nice to write about a minor character (and not a Marauder for once, lol) and not have the trio turn up. The end is a bit rough on Charlie but I have other plans for him. Sorry, they don't include Penelope. So maybe someday I'll give him a go again. Thanks again for the lovely review!! ~Gina :)
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
Evan Rosier and Dorcas Meadowes swore that they would not let the war come between them.
But things change as they realise that love cannot always come first.
Written for the GH Cotillion Challenge.
A million thanks to my beta Alex/welshdevondragon who is lovely and brilliant.
Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Marauder Era Story.
ARIAAAAAANNNAAAAAAHHHHH, This is such a good story. I adore the forbiddenness of it, and how torn Dorcas is. I always find it a bit of a stretch to read pairings where two people from opposite camps come together, but you've made this incredibly plausible. Of course, Evan has this way of compartmentalising his life, so he can detach her from his Death Eater activities, but Dorcas' dilemma and the way it tears at her is so well done - especially as we see this from his POV. So subtly written.
The sensuality between them is gorgeous. I love the intimacy and the way it encompasses all the senses (I do think smell and taste are really powerful and oft overlooked senses). But what I also love is that this isn;t just a story about a pairing - you have a plot - and a very sad plot.
I do have a quibble (sorry). Okay, how did Evan get into her bedroom when they have alarms on the staircases? This is, obviously, me assuming that Dorcas is a Gryff or that the Claw and Puff staircases have the same system. The canon part of me twitched a little, that was all. This really doesn't in any way impact on the overall gorgeousness of the story, so feel free to ignore me (or moan at my pickiness).
OHHH, and I remember what I was going to say. At the beginning of this month when I was attempting to set a challenge for TTB, I was going to do a songfic challenge. This song by Norah Jones was one of the ones I was going to use. HA! I kind of jumped out of my bed when I clicked on your story, although I was already singing it when I read the title. It's such a wispily melodic song and really suits this story.
Lovely story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you so much for this lovely review :). I'm so happy you liked it and thought it was plausible - I wasn't really sure how it would turn out, given that I had only written the end of their relationship in a drabble and none of the in-between stuff. And I'm awful at plots usually, constructing something that's completely hole-free, so it makes me so glad that you thought it worked.
Also, don't be sorry for quibbles! I am absolutely horrible at remembering canon information and I do often ignore it in my stories. I'm going to add a sentence (or two) that fixes that - hopefully, if I can think of a good reason :).
I like this song a lot, too - it probably would have made for a great challenge. I do like the idea of songfic challenges in the TTB…not lobbying or anything, just commenting :). Thank you so much, again, for your review! It meant a lot. xx Ariana
Summary: George is trying to recover from Fred's death, he really is. But everyone can see he's not doing well, and George begins to wonder if he will ever stop grieving.
A poem from George's perspective.
Oh, this is sad. I love the way you've caught George's grief so poignantly, ad crafted a lovely poem in so few words. The repetition of the lines about the light fading from his eyes were really touching and aided the structure of the poem.
My own tiny bit of peace, a moment of happiness, A candle inside of me, refusing to be blown out, just like his memory.
That line was lovely, and really helped set the hopeful tome of the end. Of course, Fred wouldn't have been able to let George suffer. He'd want him to find some form of happiness, even if he was never the same again.
Well done ~Carole~
Summary: Advice to a child: keep away from werewolves.
I remember this challenge and I remember reading your poem and marvelling at it. You managed to keep a certain lyricism from the original poem, and yet you created something very Potterverse. It also reads very much like a poem that should be chanted like a catechism.
It’s a grim subject matter, summed up by that end line that the child would be better off dead than cursed to be a werewolf. I hope Remus would disagree, but I have no doubt there must have been times in his life where he thought death would have been the better option.
I love the alliteration in the second line because it helps the rhythm. I also liked the repetition of flesh in lines four and five, which added to the horror of what a transformed werewolf can actually do to its victim. It’s always horrified me that Greyback would do these things whilst still human, and it’s werewolves of his ilk that give the voice of the poem some validity.
I loved this very much, minna. Well done. ~Carole~
Summary: Salazar waits for Helga by the lake, having fled from Hogwarts several years before. He hopes it will not be their last meeting, but fears that it may be.
This is expanded from a drabble originally written for Minna/Minnabird in the Fourth Annual Musical Drabble Exchange in the SBBC, over at the beta forums. It is loosely based on the song “Love Don’t Roam” from Doctor Who, written by Murray Gold and sung by Neil Hannon.
I don;t read much Founders era because I'm generally not interested in them or the time period, but couldn't resist this one. I like the Helga/Salazar pairing because they are such opposites. Hufflepuff and Slytherin are the antithesis of each other.
I liked Helga's spirit here. Sje's always perceived to be meek and loving etc etc, but she really holds her own with the sneaky Salazar. And marrying a Muggle-born - ha ha ha ha. Take that!
Good story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you for reading, particularly outside your usual taste! I'm pleased you liked it. In another story I have Rowena/ Salazar, but I like the dynamics of Helga/Salazar as well. Hufflepuffs (as you well know :) ) aren't walk overs, and I think Salazar somewhat expected her to be. And yes, I liked that part too :) Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Alex
Summary: A few love stories aren't remarkable, but they happen all the same.
This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff writing for the GH Cotillion Challenge. She is not JK Rowling; neither does she intend to make copyright violations.
Given up fanfiction, eh?
Quite brilliant. Sorry, actually incoherent here and incapable of leaving anything approaching a decent review. I will need to re-read and re-read and re-read, so am saving to favourites.
Why is your smut so wonderful? Why? Why? Why, do I have to go to work?
Than Michael Corner is a prat. I knew he was no good. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Any person who refuses to go down on a girl is a prat IMHO. :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! <3
Summary: Albus Dumbledore may have defeated Gellert Grindelwald and saved the wizarding world - but he is still tormented by his own past.
This is AidaLuthien writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.
Charting Dumbledore's life before we knew him is always a good story. His relationship with Grindelwald which is only hinted at in the books (hint is too strong a word, it took JK to nudge us the right way) is such a melancholy one of love gone wrong and possibly never acted upon. But we know how powerful it must have been for Albus because of the man he becomes. He certainly knows about love.
I'm not sure why you turned this into a song fic. I don;t know the song, so maybe it means something pertinent to you, but in my opinion the lyrics didn;t add a great deal to the story. They emphasized some events, but I'm not sure they needed a great deal of emphasis.
Gellert felt like cool, crisp water while Albus had been dying of thirst, alone in a vast desert wasteland. It wasn’t just necessary for his survival. He needed more. He needed Gellert to survive. At least, that’s how he felt that summer.
I loved that set of lines; it was a very strong image, Aida.
Ah, and they kissed only once and when both were so much older. That's very sad especially as we know they won;t meet again, and how they both think about each other for the rest of their lives.
Good luck with the challenge. ~Carole~
Summary: When he thought it had come at last, what struck Remus about the end of his youth was the abruptness.
DISCLAIMER: I am not J K Rowling.
Stunning. Sad. Incredibly moving.
My favourite part is ... um ... I don;t know. It's all very good. The lifeline on the palm makes me cry a little I'm not sure what else to say, except that this sounds so raw and real.
Author's Response: :( Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I wrote this while I was in a black mood.
Summary: The fireworks are imprinted on her features with such clarity that she’s all but glimpses of sunlight.
This is hestiajones' bazillionth entry for the GH Cotillion Challenge. To be honest, she's more bewildered than you, and what's more, she's not J.K.Rowling.
Hmm, I might have read what happens next. Perhaps I will again.
I was giggling a little at the beginning when Alicia nearly called her Hannah, giggling because it's a mistake I used to make. Two Hufflepuff girls who just fade into the background of the HP series until you start reading fanfiction and someone brings them to life.
I was drawn into this story straight away. There were many parts that I was smiling over, small details, like Susan knowing about Alicia's life, and yet walking away before Alicia could answer. Then when they were at the party, I loved this set of lines.
I liked watching her speak. Her eyes were bright, her chest seemed to rise prominently, and she used her hands a lot.
This painted such a vivid picture of Susan, gesticulating as she talks and talking a lot - probably because she's bervous (hell, I do that - ha ha ha and then I hit people with my hands or spill drinks) . I've noticed in t=your stories it is the small details that drag me into the story (Sesen rubbing her thumbs on Fleur's elbows, for instance) and this story really is no different.
I don't know the song, but it doesn't matter because the lyrics aren't intrusive and they fit the story. It would work equally well without them, which is always a good sign.
I've seemed to concentrate this review on Susan, but it's Alicia speaking. I think, in a way, we learn more about Susan than we do about Alicia, which is unusual as she's telling the tale. I like what we find out about her, though. She's hard drinking (I bet Susan hates that) determined enough to break through to the first team, strong enough to resist the horrible Brenda (who I keep picturing as very square looking in a royal blue suit and with a tache). I sort of want more about her though, maybe from Susan's POV (hint hint)
OH OH OH - just reread a little, and I really like Susan's impassioned nature and how she want to get things done and has all these passionate thoughts. She's so like Amelia - YAY!!!
Okay, for me this is a reasonably coherent review. Enjoyed the story, well done, have a cup of tea, and a hug, SW. ~CON~
Author's Response: I never responded to this review. O.....O
Summary: The problem with love is that it distorts you. It binds you and frees you, hurts you and kills you, but in the end, it's worth it. L x J one-shot.
I like the way you've written this. The part about James' smirk being tattooed on her eyelids is a strong one. I loved that imagery. The build up to their love after years of her loathing him isn't a new one, but you've imbued some originality in this tale by not having a 'tragic' event in Lily's life causing them to get together, rather you've made this natural as she realises he's not 'just' an arrogant toerag.
I think the parts where she's reflecting on Snape are probably the most successful. he was her constant and it must have half killed her when she saw him change. How strong she was to make that final break.
I have to pick at something. The line about sneaking off to the Astronomy Tower at night really grates on me because night time is the only time this classroom is used, and so you'd only go there if you were an exhibitionist.
There were also a few errors in the story.
Then, one night, he leans down further, holding me so tightly he's always that's keeping me upright, and our routine goodnight changes. I think you mean 'all' not always. and
'I love you too James. You need commas before 'too' and 'James.' (That;s a really niggly pick - sorry.)
Nice story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Wow, thank-you for your super in-depth review! It made me smile. Umm, did not think of the Astronomy Tower! omg. I laughed out loud at that. I will try and fix it! Your also right about the 'always' / 'all' mistake - but I just got a new macbook and it insists on correcting everything even if it's a tiny error. For instance, I type ftw and it corrects it to 'few'; I really need a beta to check that! And the comma too. Thanks for checking it out, I really appreciate it :)
Summary: You leave everything behind when you die, all your love and secrets.
Oliver and Dru know this, because Katie was no exception.
This is littlebird of Gryffindor writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cottillion
Well, this was an interesting read. It's certainly well crafted and there are some amazing images in play here. I loved the set up and the way you craft Oliver peeling through the photographs. The threesome is well written - not crude, but not romanticised in the way these things often are. The guilt they feel that Katie is no more comes through well.
If I had a pick, though, it's that I didn't feel too much connection to the characters. Possibly because this is first person and it's an OC, but I didn't warm to anyone. Obviously, this is just my opinion and my personal preference, but I like characters to have something I can relate to, so I'm drawn into the story. Here I was an onlooker. It was beautiful to watch and your writing made me gasp with envy at times, but I wasn't fully engaged. That being said, as a reader, I'm not someone who waxes lyrical over styles and genres, but someone who needs to be immersed in the story and swept along by it.
Sorry, this all sounds horribly negative and I don't mean it to because I think this is a well executed story and a bold subject choice.
Good luck with the challenge. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Hi, Carole, Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you at least found this interesting enough to finish, since you didn't really take to any of the characters. I can see why one might have a hard time connecting with Dru. He's prickly. He's fearful and somewhat antagonistic. He's also self aware enough to know all this, and then he proclaims it to the reader, seemingly intent on keeping others at arm's length. I can absolutely understand why one might find it difficult to relate, but I suppose my affinity for transgressive fiction has dulled any sense that a character should be immediately relatable. Ah, well. Viva la difference. I am pleased, though, that you liked my handling of the threesome. I, too, feel sex in ff is too often romanticised. To me, it's not titillating if it's not honest. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and for the review, and best of luck to you in the challenge, as well. ~Susan
Summary: Every time Hannah and Luna meet, they are attracted to each other in ways they both know they shouldn’t be. And every time, Luna leaves the scene with the taste of pomegranates on her breath.
This is Padfoot11333 of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Cotillion-this story has been done for ages, and I sent it to Jess during the Great Queue Outage, but I’m just now posting it here.
Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award.
LILLLYYYYYY!!! Yay - welcome to the SSP ship - it's quite addictive, so watch out!
As someone who always thought Neville would end up with Luna, but then saw JKR's point when she paired him with Hannah, I am very interested in this pairing(s). And then you twist it so that they're in love (or lust perhaps) with each other. That's very well done.
I love your theme of pomegranates (I have this urge to go and buy some pomegranate juice now), and the way the taste matters so much to Luna. Taste is such a powerful and oft over looked sense in attraction so I was impressed that you used it to such good effect here.
I love the end. I love the fact that they're not heartbroken by not being able to be together, but that they manage to move on, and Luna finds love with Rolf.
If I have a pick, it would be that we don;t see enough of Neville here. I don;t mean that this should be stuffed full of him, but I think I'd have liked to see some sign of why he left Luna for Hannah, or seen a touch more awkwardness from him when Luna and Hannah are talking. The small scene at the reception between Hannah and Neville is really nicely done, though. Very subtle because you can see he cares, even if he is clueless as to her dilemma (well he would be - LOL).
Good luck with the challenge. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Carolee!! Thanks so much for this beautiful review! I don't know if you could tell but I was really nervous about this and am so glad that an author as skilled as you would like it. I understand what you mean of there being more of Neville, but even though he was Hannah's husband I saw him as a mostly minor character x) Thanks again *squishes* Lily xxx
Okay, so I've slept on this now in the hope of leaving a coherent review. But ... uh ... no, that's not going to happen.
This story is mind-melting in its execution. Sesen is so cold and yet she drips with unconsumed passion. Fleur is so not the innocent victim. She is manipulative, and yet, she stays for four days and nights. She has what she wants from Sesen so could leave ... and yet she stays. Of course, my feeling here is that it;s partly that she's intrigued by Sesen, desires her and also loves to be desired. Being wanted has to be the biggest aphrodisiac of all, and wow is she wanted, and by one of the most beautiful and desirable women in her orbit. How could they resist each other?
What disturbed me the most in this story was the application of make up. In my mind, Sesen was trying to cheapen Fleur, turn her into a beautiful artificial object, like the others she collects at the end. It felt shocking to me, painting her like a whore. I smiled so much when Fleur melted the make up away - HA!
The husband seems superfluous in the story. I say 'seems' because he's not. The end (which I have read and reread and reread and reread) is so NECESSARY to your portrayal of Sesen. He is superfluous to her, but necessary to the story because through his death we're shown her true nature - again. Is it falling for Fleur that has made her kill again? Or has she reverted because she cannot give up this way of life.
I don't usually pay much heed to descriptions of rooms, but her 'stage' stayed with me long after I clicked away from this story. (and I am totally seeing some form of Irene Adler as I read this story - that is very probably me because I'm a tad obsessed with Lara Pulver as you may have realised).
You pulled this off brilliantly, Natalie. And now, I must read again. Oh, and this fic deserves reviews and a lot of them.
I must go and wibble in a corner now. Gods, you're brilliNAT. ~Croll~
Author's Response: First, this review makes me squee so hard with its gorgeousness.