What can I say. I'm a grown woman living in London but I'm obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not
For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.
EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.
My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*
I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.
EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.
I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.
I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance
A Second Chance
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Learning to Fly
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)
Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)
Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)
Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
As They Watch
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Fairytale of Hogwarts
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Queen of My Heart
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Labyrinth Mind
Summary: Louis hadn't quite expected to fall in love with him, but he did.
A gift for my mistress, lucca4. Also, an entry for the Inaugural GH Cotillion Challenge.
Disclaimer: This is not J.K.Rowling. It'd be cool if she shipped Luna's son with Fleur's, though.
Okay, my heart dropped when I saw this was second person. I really can't like it as a POV because it spins me outside of the story instead of drawing me in, but what was so brilliant here, was that you swicthed to first person and so my interest didn't stray.
This is a gorgeous story. I love the initial set up. Lysander is wonderful. He is so Luna like in his confidence, and yet so unlike her in that he can face reality. I love seeing him through Louis' eyes.
Psst - I love the sex in this. Just enough to be hot, and yet tangled up with wondrous emotions. Gah, will they last.?
Hmm, this is odd, I don;t have much canon for Louis yet, although he;'s nagging at me. I need to get some before this becomes my reality - eeeeeep. Natalie, hestiajonesperson, you are ebil, but fabulous.
Well done! ~Carole~
Author's Response: Haha! I decided on second person as I am writing for Ariana, but I thought the first person was better for getting more intimate with him in the memories. :D Thanks for the review!
Summary: Summary: Christmas 1976. Lily Evans is standing in the shadow of a war that for the first time is affecting her Christmas spirit. A reprieve from the gloom comes in the form of a Muggle boy from her hometown, someone who the war cannot touch and is unaffected by the fear it causes. However, dark times lie ahead, and Lily begins to realise that there are some things she just cannot escape, however hard she tries.
This came joint first in the December Great Hall Challenge! Thank you to the judges!
Also nominated for Best Marauder Story in the QSQs! Thank you!
OHHHH, now, I wasn;t sure where this was going to begin with Sarah, and was expecting war filled doom and gloom, or even worse Lily ending up in Snape's arms - (you know how that would make me shudder), but this is good. I was totally surprised by the OC appearing and loved his characterisation. Mark seems to fit rather nicely into Lily's Muggle world and it is refreshing to see her with someone who isn't Snape or James. A good buffer between the pair of them. I particularly liked her recognition that if James had said the line she'd have been irritated beyond compare. Sometimes men just can't win, can they.
Good dtory, Sarah, and am adding to favourites now. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Carole! I could never have Lily ending up in Snape's arms. I don't think I could physically do it. But he pops up again in the next chapter for her to have a good old shout at, and unfortunately, the doom and gloom resurfaces a little. Poor old Lily. Thanks again for reviewing!
Summary: For three years, Oliver Wood was an important part of Hermione’s life. He had been there through all the fights, the tears, and the seemingly endless piles of homework. He was her constant when all else fell through.
And now he is leaving.
But how do you say goodbye to the boy who told you what to expect in terms of school and exams, who made your third year bearable, memorable even? Nominated for the 2012 Non-Canon Romance QSQ Award.
I love missing moments stories, Maple, and what you have here is a story packed with the types of things that could have happened when we weren;t following Harry. Hermione is great here. I love the nervousness when she first arrives at Hogwarts and the terror that she''ll get lost and the way she studied so she wouldn't feel out of place (but she still was alone :( ) I'm glad she had a friend in Oliver, who let's face it is so obsessed with Quidditch he probably needs someone talking to him about other things. (I love him really, you know that.)
And what she saw was both wonderful and absolutely terrifying. In that moment, she saw something in his eyes that she had never thought she’d see. It looked as if he wanted to kiss her.
Gahh, such unresolved tension there, but she's so young and scared and ... he wouldn;t have done it in front of everyone, but that was such a lovely moment. My favourite, I think, in the story.
I do think there were places where the dialogue took over a little. I know you were going through the books, and you did so very effectively, but sometimes I thought there was too much talking. (only a little, though)
,br> You retold the events very well. I had to check some things because I'd totally forgotten that she'd got on a broom as well when they were after the key. I'm too used to playing the PC game where it's just Harry - LOL.
nit pick“I heard that you, Ron, and Harry managed to cpture Flitwick’s key. By flying.” (capture)
Good luck in the challenge. This is a lovely story about friendship that could blossom into something more, but hasn't yet. I'm rather glad you resisted the temptation to turn it into a full romance, but still left the option for them to take up at a later date. Well done ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Carole. I definately think that this is one of the sotries I was most happy with, for sure. I can definately see that dialogue does become a little too dialoguy. Definately something I will work on as I continue to write. ACK! how did I not notice the capture thing?? Thanks again! Maple
Summary: James Potter shares a moment with one of his best friends the night before his wedding.
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.
Oh .... Gina, this is so so beautiful. I had my doubts because I know you were really struggling at one point, but this is so in keeping with their characters, and fits canon, and ... and ... and ... it's just lovely.
I love the simple pleasure they get in each others' company, the banter and ease they feel. And there's no bitterness, at all, (or I don't sense that) from Remus that James has moved on. I suspect that Remus has moved on, too, and yet there's a part of both of them which will be connected to water and the lake and everything wonderful and bright about Hogwarts.
How do you do it, make me cry a little with such a great story?
Okay, sorry, but I have a minor nit-pick.
There will fewer late nights at the pub, fewer midnight runs with the stag and the dog, fewer times spent with just him and not all four of them.
First, it should be 'will be' but also, this is confusing. James is thinking this, but he's saying he's going to run 'with' the stag and the dog. He's the stag. So you either need to change it to 'the wolf, rat and dog' or change 'with' to between - or something.
Anyway, that in no way at all detracts from such a beautiful story. Very touching, very bittersweet. *sigh* I have to go to work now, and all I want to do is curl up and shed a few tears over the loss of the Marauders *sob*
You wondrous witch. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank so (very late) for such an amazing review, Carole! I'm so glad it worked for you. I barely remember why I struggled with it now - I deleted what was pretty much a completely different story. It turned out rather well in the end, though. It is sad, to think of these sorts of things between them and then realize what happens later on. Very bittersweet, as you said. Sorry to make you cry. And yes, that line is confusing so someday I'll fix it, lol. Thanks again for the lovely review, it still makes me squee! ~Gina :)
Summary: 'You'd die for her. I see it in the way you look at her. You'd kill for her. You wouldn't do that for me, would you?'
It ought to be a rhetorical question, but for Michael Corner suddenly it isn't.
This is h_vic of Hufflepuff writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion
I wasn't going to read this. Nothing against your stories, Hannah, which are always a joy to read (so well-written) but because it features Tracey and I'm writing her as well for the same challenge - HA! Anyway, I have started and am in two minds. I love the story, it's beautifully written and is well plotted. I also love the back story and your characterisation. The downside is that I'm now thinking 'Oh' at my own story and seething a touch with jealousy. *sigh*
The only bit of characterisation I didn;t like (and this isn;t your fault because this is your Tracey) is this line-
You never stopped loving her. I don't mind. Really, I don't. I understand. It's stupid really, but I love you enough that I'm willing to accept the scraps on the off chance that one day you might give me more.'
I'll admit that the reason I don;t like it is because it makes me feel so uncomfortable reading about a woman staying with a man who she not only knows loves another woman more, but tells him that. Has she no pride?! Again, this is your character, so it's not a fault of the story just me getting riled. See - your Tracey has got under my skin.
Oh good lord, what is happening at the end. I'm shivering as I read and re-read. Very well written. I'm creepily intrigued and an on tenterhooks to see where this is going. darn the queue snafu, I do need to read more.
Good luck in the challenge and well done with this. ~Carole~
Summary: Albus Severus Potter is not like his father. He can't defeat unimaginable evils. No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't overcome the evil surrounding him.
Mr. Potter, your son was possessed.
Oh, this is sad and it tells a story. I love the way you've plotted this with so few words, and yet the tale is there before us.
You've managed to capture the despair that Harry must be feeling at seeing his son like this, and also Albus' helplessness because he can hear what is going on and yet is powerless to prevent what is happening to him.
Oh, I didn;t think he'd die, though. :( - Although that is probably preferable to being stuck in this terrifying limbo.
Lovely poem. I liked the structure, too. It flows very well and it's clear who is talking. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Carole. :)
I can't imagine what Harry would be like, but I think it would hit him very hard- but the italics POV is the healer . . .
As for the death . . . anything would be preferable. And who's to say it was the actual possession that killed him? ;)Anyways, thank you so much for the lovely review!
OH! This is all different - ha ha. I didn;t expect this at all, Soraya, and am gasping somewhat. In a good way, I promise, it's just that this isn't how I envisaged your story. There's some intrigue (Scorpius had a daughter? Louis' family are dead? Scorp and Rose are together .... NOOOOOOOO) and there's also the tension that we know somehow Scorpius and Lily will end up together - even if it is alcohol induced.
So no, this isn't a crappity fic. It has a decent plot and original characterisation.
Rose however, is a poo and doesn't deserve the love of the fair Malfoy.
Author's Response: CAROLE!!!! I really do <3 you, you know that, right? :D
Once again, you came to my rescue when I was deprived of review!love, and on Valentine's Day too :) Yay to that. And yay to you gasping, lol. The thing is, I had always imagined Scorpius and Lily to get together, somewhat briefly, yes, but it had to fit in with my head canon which means some healthy Scorose and Loulily too. And yeah, Scorpius having a daughter and Louis's family basically all dying except for Victoire are things that I covered more thoroughly in Blood and Roses (not that I'm pimping or anything, and besides, it's Scorose so I don't know if you can stomach it, lol -- though, if you were to read it, I promise it's not too shippy and they aren't even together, really, in the story).
Thank youuuuuuuu, for the lovely review, though Rose does NOT appreciate being called a poo, haha. She's broken up with Malfoy, anyway! Hehehehehe. I don't know if I'll finish this in time for the Cotillion's deadline, but if I don't, I should hopefully post the second (and third, if I decide to) chapter (s) by Marchish.
<3 you lotsly!
Summary: Ernie Macmillan has had a difficult year, suffering three losses in two months’ time. Life is dreary, and each day seems far too much like the one before and the one to follow.But on any regular day, extraordinary things can happen, can change the course of a journey… especially when an obligatory dinner party, a meddling best friend, and a familiar face from the past come together at just the right time. This is WeasleyMom of Hufflepuff, writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge. Thanks to Natalie/hestiajones for beta reading this in a quick turnaround.
OH OH OH OH OH - Who is it? I neeeeeeed to know who the girl is. My mind is buzzing now. It can't be a Hufflepuff, he'd remember them. Ummmm, Leanne? Lisa? (thinking of 'L's now) Demelza (no she's with Tracey - giggle).
Lorriiiiiiii I love this story. You've captured Ernie brilliantly, but not just him, your Hannah and Neville are so perfect - s right (and not a mention of her tits anywhere - snigger). Seriously, that scene in the kitchen between the three of them had me gulping. Neville was just so fantastic. I think it's the sign of a really good writer that even the minor players can make such an impression, and he was so so good.
Looking at Hannah now, pretty even with the sheen of sweat from cooking visible at her hairline, he wondered why he couldn’t have just fallen in love with her. Life would have been so much simpler in his estimation.
This passage is particularly good. I love how Hannah isn;t perfect, yet he still recognises that she's pretty and, yeah, perhaps it would have been good for him to fall in love with her,but then we wouldn;t have the fabulousness that is Neville and Hannah. - ha ha.
Lori, please never doubt yourself again. This is lovely. Somehow you always manage to get to the heart of these characters with such ease and gentleness, my heart melts. Fabulous!~Carole~
Author's Response: Have you figured out who it is yet? Mwahahaha! I won't tell, but it may be the first line of the next chapter, so you'll at least know by the end of February. Hehe.
Two minds or one? It is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.
As a fellow sufferer of AD (I think we need a support group), then of course I shall review you. That and I don;t think I did the first time, and I should have done because this is a wonderful poem.
Forgive the squeee, but 'GAHHHHH' I love your poetry so much. You really do have this extraordinary way with words that create fantastic images.
A necrotic cantata of joyous evil, Within the bounds of immortality Just amazing.
It was hard to choose a line/lines to quote here because they're all so good, but that set just awed me. The whole poem just sums up Harry's life and sacrifice so much. Yes, we know he survived, but he didn't know he would. He was certain he was walking to his death, and that still gets to me, every single time. *sigh*
Your poetry always seems to encapsulate feelins and moments so brilliantly. Thank you for sharing. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Carole. Harry's sacrifice seems to be basis for a lot of my poetry. There is just something about what he went through that gets to me every time and I have to write about it. Sigh. Yes, we really do need a support group!
Summary: Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time, drawn always towards him, never aging or changing.
She is the one thing he does not question.
OHH, very intriguing, and I'm glad you picked up this gauntlet of Kara's and wrote it, too.
Beautiful imagery, minna, I really loved the constant ebb and flow of the tides as the background to their love affair.
,br> Very well written and entrancing. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review <33 I'm glad I picked up that gauntlet too
Summary: A young girl muses on the difference between her Muggle grandmother's charms and her wizarding uncle's.
Oh, this is so beautiful. We get so caught up in the Magical world of Harry Potter that we forget Muggles have their own magic, and charm and love.
Minna, this is so effortlessly written and flows so well. Seamless, elegant, amazing.
br> Fantastic. ~Carole~
Summary: Charlie Weasley is sitting at his brother's wedding when he meets a beautiful reporter covering the nuptials. Daphne Greengrass is more than she appears, however, and he finds himself quickly entranced. Is she interested in him as well, or is he just another story?
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.
I LOVED IT!!! Awwwwww, I really enjoyed this story, Gina (despite the FALL),. It's lovely to see a Post Hogwarts story featuring Charlie because he's so lovely and deserves to be written about more. Obviously he's actually with Penelope (Percy's ex - ha ha), but I can forgive you that - hee hee.
Seriously I did enjoy reading this. there was a moment whenh I thought Daphne had given up her secret a little fast but you actually explained that PERFECTLY with the lines that she recognised in Charlie something that she wanted, and of course confessing all to a stranger is so much easier than to a friend/family member.
The other thing I really enjoyed was that this was a Charlie and George banter type story, with none of the Trio - yayayay! Ha ha - I just like to read stories without them barging in.
The end was good. George's prank wa sperfect (lovely to see him happy and not moping).
Then because I was squeeing so much, I realised I hadn;t read the end properlyyyy. Noooooo, Daphne, you stitched him up. But he's happy and she won;t fool him again. I LOVED the last line, and now please introduce me to Charlie. I want to make him mine.
Author's Response: Once again this review makes me smile. A very belated thank you for this, Carole. I really appreciate all your comments. I'm glad it turned out and had it's moments, esp. George. I have to admit, it was nice to write about a minor character (and not a Marauder for once, lol) and not have the trio turn up. The end is a bit rough on Charlie but I have other plans for him. Sorry, they don't include Penelope. So maybe someday I'll give him a go again. Thanks again for the lovely review!! ~Gina :)
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
Evan Rosier and Dorcas Meadowes swore that they would not let the war come between them.
But things change as they realise that love cannot always come first.
Written for the GH Cotillion Challenge.
A million thanks to my beta Alex/welshdevondragon who is lovely and brilliant.
Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Marauder Era Story.
ARIAAAAAANNNAAAAAAHHHHH, This is such a good story. I adore the forbiddenness of it, and how torn Dorcas is. I always find it a bit of a stretch to read pairings where two people from opposite camps come together, but you've made this incredibly plausible. Of course, Evan has this way of compartmentalising his life, so he can detach her from his Death Eater activities, but Dorcas' dilemma and the way it tears at her is so well done - especially as we see this from his POV. So subtly written.
The sensuality between them is gorgeous. I love the intimacy and the way it encompasses all the senses (I do think smell and taste are really powerful and oft overlooked senses). But what I also love is that this isn;t just a story about a pairing - you have a plot - and a very sad plot.
I do have a quibble (sorry). Okay, how did Evan get into her bedroom when they have alarms on the staircases? This is, obviously, me assuming that Dorcas is a Gryff or that the Claw and Puff staircases have the same system. The canon part of me twitched a little, that was all. This really doesn't in any way impact on the overall gorgeousness of the story, so feel free to ignore me (or moan at my pickiness).
OHHH, and I remember what I was going to say. At the beginning of this month when I was attempting to set a challenge for TTB, I was going to do a songfic challenge. This song by Norah Jones was one of the ones I was going to use. HA! I kind of jumped out of my bed when I clicked on your story, although I was already singing it when I read the title. It's such a wispily melodic song and really suits this story.
Lovely story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you so much for this lovely review :). I'm so happy you liked it and thought it was plausible - I wasn't really sure how it would turn out, given that I had only written the end of their relationship in a drabble and none of the in-between stuff. And I'm awful at plots usually, constructing something that's completely hole-free, so it makes me so glad that you thought it worked.
Also, don't be sorry for quibbles! I am absolutely horrible at remembering canon information and I do often ignore it in my stories. I'm going to add a sentence (or two) that fixes that - hopefully, if I can think of a good reason :).
I like this song a lot, too - it probably would have made for a great challenge. I do like the idea of songfic challenges in the TTB…not lobbying or anything, just commenting :). Thank you so much, again, for your review! It meant a lot. xx Ariana
Summary: Salazar waits for Helga by the lake, having fled from Hogwarts several years before. He hopes it will not be their last meeting, but fears that it may be.
This is expanded from a drabble originally written for Minna/Minnabird in the Fourth Annual Musical Drabble Exchange in the SBBC, over at the beta forums. It is loosely based on the song “Love Don’t Roam” from Doctor Who, written by Murray Gold and sung by Neil Hannon.
I don;t read much Founders era because I'm generally not interested in them or the time period, but couldn't resist this one. I like the Helga/Salazar pairing because they are such opposites. Hufflepuff and Slytherin are the antithesis of each other.
I liked Helga's spirit here. Sje's always perceived to be meek and loving etc etc, but she really holds her own with the sneaky Salazar. And marrying a Muggle-born - ha ha ha ha. Take that!
Good story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you for reading, particularly outside your usual taste! I'm pleased you liked it. In another story I have Rowena/ Salazar, but I like the dynamics of Helga/Salazar as well. Hufflepuffs (as you well know :) ) aren't walk overs, and I think Salazar somewhat expected her to be. And yes, I liked that part too :) Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Alex
Summary: A few love stories aren't remarkable, but they happen all the same.
This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff writing for the GH Cotillion Challenge. She is not JK Rowling; neither does she intend to make copyright violations.
Given up fanfiction, eh?
Quite brilliant. Sorry, actually incoherent here and incapable of leaving anything approaching a decent review. I will need to re-read and re-read and re-read, so am saving to favourites.
Why is your smut so wonderful? Why? Why? Why, do I have to go to work?
Than Michael Corner is a prat. I knew he was no good. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Any person who refuses to go down on a girl is a prat IMHO. :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! <3
Summary: Albus Dumbledore may have defeated Gellert Grindelwald and saved the wizarding world - but he is still tormented by his own past.
This is AidaLuthien writing for the Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.
Charting Dumbledore's life before we knew him is always a good story. His relationship with Grindelwald which is only hinted at in the books (hint is too strong a word, it took JK to nudge us the right way) is such a melancholy one of love gone wrong and possibly never acted upon. But we know how powerful it must have been for Albus because of the man he becomes. He certainly knows about love.
I'm not sure why you turned this into a song fic. I don;t know the song, so maybe it means something pertinent to you, but in my opinion the lyrics didn;t add a great deal to the story. They emphasized some events, but I'm not sure they needed a great deal of emphasis.
Gellert felt like cool, crisp water while Albus had been dying of thirst, alone in a vast desert wasteland. It wasn’t just necessary for his survival. He needed more. He needed Gellert to survive. At least, that’s how he felt that summer.
I loved that set of lines; it was a very strong image, Aida.
Ah, and they kissed only once and when both were so much older. That's very sad especially as we know they won;t meet again, and how they both think about each other for the rest of their lives.
Good luck with the challenge. ~Carole~
Summary: When he thought it had come at last, what struck Remus about the end of his youth was the abruptness.
DISCLAIMER: I am not J K Rowling.
Stunning. Sad. Incredibly moving.
My favourite part is ... um ... I don;t know. It's all very good. The lifeline on the palm makes me cry a little I'm not sure what else to say, except that this sounds so raw and real.
Author's Response: :( Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I wrote this while I was in a black mood.
Summary: The fireworks are imprinted on her features with such clarity that she’s all but glimpses of sunlight.
This is hestiajones' bazillionth entry for the GH Cotillion Challenge. To be honest, she's more bewildered than you, and what's more, she's not J.K.Rowling.
Hmm, I might have read what happens next. Perhaps I will again.
I was giggling a little at the beginning when Alicia nearly called her Hannah, giggling because it's a mistake I used to make. Two Hufflepuff girls who just fade into the background of the HP series until you start reading fanfiction and someone brings them to life.
I was drawn into this story straight away. There were many parts that I was smiling over, small details, like Susan knowing about Alicia's life, and yet walking away before Alicia could answer. Then when they were at the party, I loved this set of lines.
I liked watching her speak. Her eyes were bright, her chest seemed to rise prominently, and she used her hands a lot.
This painted such a vivid picture of Susan, gesticulating as she talks and talking a lot - probably because she's bervous (hell, I do that - ha ha ha and then I hit people with my hands or spill drinks) . I've noticed in t=your stories it is the small details that drag me into the story (Sesen rubbing her thumbs on Fleur's elbows, for instance) and this story really is no different.
I don't know the song, but it doesn't matter because the lyrics aren't intrusive and they fit the story. It would work equally well without them, which is always a good sign.
I've seemed to concentrate this review on Susan, but it's Alicia speaking. I think, in a way, we learn more about Susan than we do about Alicia, which is unusual as she's telling the tale. I like what we find out about her, though. She's hard drinking (I bet Susan hates that) determined enough to break through to the first team, strong enough to resist the horrible Brenda (who I keep picturing as very square looking in a royal blue suit and with a tache). I sort of want more about her though, maybe from Susan's POV (hint hint)
OH OH OH - just reread a little, and I really like Susan's impassioned nature and how she want to get things done and has all these passionate thoughts. She's so like Amelia - YAY!!!
Okay, for me this is a reasonably coherent review. Enjoyed the story, well done, have a cup of tea, and a hug, SW. ~CON~
Author's Response: I never responded to this review. O.....O
Summary: The problem with love is that it distorts you. It binds you and frees you, hurts you and kills you, but in the end, it's worth it. L x J one-shot.
I like the way you've written this. The part about James' smirk being tattooed on her eyelids is a strong one. I loved that imagery. The build up to their love after years of her loathing him isn't a new one, but you've imbued some originality in this tale by not having a 'tragic' event in Lily's life causing them to get together, rather you've made this natural as she realises he's not 'just' an arrogant toerag.
I think the parts where she's reflecting on Snape are probably the most successful. he was her constant and it must have half killed her when she saw him change. How strong she was to make that final break.
I have to pick at something. The line about sneaking off to the Astronomy Tower at night really grates on me because night time is the only time this classroom is used, and so you'd only go there if you were an exhibitionist.
There were also a few errors in the story.
Then, one night, he leans down further, holding me so tightly he's always that's keeping me upright, and our routine goodnight changes. I think you mean 'all' not always. and
'I love you too James. You need commas before 'too' and 'James.' (That;s a really niggly pick - sorry.)
Nice story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Wow, thank-you for your super in-depth review! It made me smile. Umm, did not think of the Astronomy Tower! omg. I laughed out loud at that. I will try and fix it! Your also right about the 'always' / 'all' mistake - but I just got a new macbook and it insists on correcting everything even if it's a tiny error. For instance, I type ftw and it corrects it to 'few'; I really need a beta to check that! And the comma too. Thanks for checking it out, I really appreciate it :)
Summary: You leave everything behind when you die, all your love and secrets.
Oliver and Dru know this, because Katie was no exception.
This is littlebird of Gryffindor writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cottillion
Well, this was an interesting read. It's certainly well crafted and there are some amazing images in play here. I loved the set up and the way you craft Oliver peeling through the photographs. The threesome is well written - not crude, but not romanticised in the way these things often are. The guilt they feel that Katie is no more comes through well.
If I had a pick, though, it's that I didn't feel too much connection to the characters. Possibly because this is first person and it's an OC, but I didn't warm to anyone. Obviously, this is just my opinion and my personal preference, but I like characters to have something I can relate to, so I'm drawn into the story. Here I was an onlooker. It was beautiful to watch and your writing made me gasp with envy at times, but I wasn't fully engaged. That being said, as a reader, I'm not someone who waxes lyrical over styles and genres, but someone who needs to be immersed in the story and swept along by it.
Sorry, this all sounds horribly negative and I don't mean it to because I think this is a well executed story and a bold subject choice.
Good luck with the challenge. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Hi, Carole, Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you at least found this interesting enough to finish, since you didn't really take to any of the characters. I can see why one might have a hard time connecting with Dru. He's prickly. He's fearful and somewhat antagonistic. He's also self aware enough to know all this, and then he proclaims it to the reader, seemingly intent on keeping others at arm's length. I can absolutely understand why one might find it difficult to relate, but I suppose my affinity for transgressive fiction has dulled any sense that a character should be immediately relatable. Ah, well. Viva la difference. I am pleased, though, that you liked my handling of the threesome. I, too, feel sex in ff is too often romanticised. To me, it's not titillating if it's not honest. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and for the review, and best of luck to you in the challenge, as well. ~Susan